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I just can’t imagine it.
( ._.) “Hey dude, I code. Do you?”
(.-. ) “Same”
( ._.) “Friends?”
(.-. ) “Friends”125 -
dude: hey could you hand me a patch cable ?
me: how long?
dude: as short as possible
me: sure buddy
😂😂
15 -
Friend: Dude, could you look at my code, see what's wrong??
Me: Its not indented. Indent is properly first..10 -
Dude: Come on man, Google and/or Facebook are not actively listening to us, I mean, we're not terrorists.
Me: Ok, Google
Google Asistant: How can I help you?
Dude: ._.4 -
Someone found my curriculum online, hooked me into an interview. I go there and the dude that handles the interview asks me: "So, why do you want to work with us?"
Man, I don't even know myself.18 -
Dude comes for an interview for a mobile position - one of the first things he says is "Adobe is killing Flash, don't know why, big mistake."7
-
someone was doing this on github issue feed. I mean what the heck dude, this is going out of hand.
3 -
This dude is using 4 screens for work. When I asked for another screen at work,
I can't convince my boss for 2, FML
To the dude who got 4 screens, congratulations, and sorry I used your image without permission. BTW
You lucky bastard
13 -
There is this guy at work we call 'the human linter'
Despite his mad clean codes skills: light theme
Dafuq dude :(13 -
This dude has to be my best ever coworker !
Not only does he never disturb me, he also gives me amazing feedback during debugging 🐥
10 -
*Bell rings*
*some dude holding a book*
“I thought you might me interested in discussing our lord and savior, blockchain”2 -
My boss asked me if he could smoke one before starting the interview. So I went down with him and lighted one up as well. Then we started to talk as if we were friends since years after I told him I like to drink alcohol from time to time (he asked :D) . Afterwards he just asked me if I know Java and stuff and I was like "sure ez pz". We still have drinking competitions on every company event. Best boss ever3
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"Dude, don’t you hate it when people say "well yes and no" like they are some kind of goddamn quantum computer or something?"6
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Dude, remote work in a country side city makes me feel like people think I'm a drug dealer or something
I never leave my house10 -
worst advice:
"Use only jQuery, js is shit"
"Use only js, jQuery is shit"
Dude, use whatever dafuq you want, both have their pros and cons..9 -
Dude chaining in JavaScript is so fucking ugly but so trendy.
thing.doStuff().doThing().then().doMoreStuff().orDont()
Like fuck off with that.25 -
Had devRant installed for a while now and finally have something worth sharing.
This happened in my last Python lab at uni:
Me: *Working away at this week's assignment*
Dude next to me: You know last week's assignment?
Me: Yes?
Dude: Did you test you solutions to the exercises?
Me: Yes
Dude: Oh, I didn't. Do you think I'll lose marks?
Me: Yes
I can only hope I'm not forced to work with this guy on group assignments...10 -
And then that annoying popup says again "Internet Explorer has stopped working".
Relax dude. It never did.1 -
One can measure how well you are doing right now just by counting the number of open StackOverflow tabs.3
-
Dude reverse engineered mcdonalds API to filter out which mcdonalds have ice machine broken https://twitter.com/rashiq/status/...
Result: https://mcbroken.com/9 -
*friend sees me using inspect element*
Friend: woah dude, are you hacking?
Me: no, actually, I-
Friend: Dude, how do I do that? I want to use that to hack Clash Royale! Or minecraft!
Me: *facepalm*3 -
In college, teacher teams us with other guy,
I tell him to do backend coding in JS
He says: Dude, What is JS?
Fu*k7 -
So we have this long term contractor that EVERY FUCKING TIME says MySQL meaning SQL Server... Like wtf dude? Shut the fuck up...5
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I had a mate in college in my programming class who always worked in Microsoft Excel. Even when we're writing code in class, dude will be in Excel. Everyone who partnered with him including me in programming projects complained that he's always in Excel instead of coding. But somehow, dude always had the work done whenever the Prof asked to submit them.8
-
tfw...
• dude chews you out for broken code
• wait patiently for dude to finish
• head on down to "git blame" town
• show him that _he_ was the author of said broken code
• tell dude to take a seat
🤫🤫🤫2 -
New company moved in above us... Slogan : Blockchain, AI, Augmented reality and banking apps.....
Dude come on thee must be a buzzword CEO3 -
Dude from old job who treated me like shit messaged me to implement 2 new features. I quit like half a year ago now. Ok i guess.6
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Dude claimed that he had good practise of DS and problem solving.
My senior gave him a tough one to solve. Couldn't. Started shouting in between the interview that we tricked him with wrong question. Senior sat him down, told him how it was a right question. Dude got pissed. Stormed out of our office. Posted a review on Glassdoor calling our interview process rubbish and unnecessarily difficult.
HAAH!8 -
Me: *screwing around in inspect element*
Friend: Woah dude what hacking app is that, can you like turn off the lights
Me: *walks off into the distance*5 -
Someone posted a picture of a porn actress(like a *new* actress) that looks exactly like my manager.....bruh this is killing me she looks exactly like my manager to the point that it is freaking me out thinking that she has a gig on the side or something
I can't get over this.
This is what happens when your manager is insanely attractive.
Internet wtf.
No i am not posting pictures.55 -
Lodash is the new JQuery.
"How do I sum two numbers?"
"Uhm... dude, I think you are gonna need Lodash"4 -
Got a course on Udemy for fun (work provides the account). Inside of the comments for a lecture (that I knew was going to leave people stumped) one dude complained that no one was answering his question......in Spanish. All other questions were made in Spanish, in a course thought by some Serbian dude.
Like.....really?8 -
The "guy who is good with computers" can't open a fucking .rar or start skype. Yeah sure dude, you're like the best at "computer stuff". Fucking morons.3
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Damn... some dude has his full SSH credentials to his webserver in his published NPM package...
I have to tell him 😅15 -
Memo on August 4th: Staff, we're moving to the new building. IT, make sure the building is ready by September 15th.
IT: But the entire networking, surveillance, fire suppression (yes, we do that too) and power management systems have to be installed/redone.
Management: What's so hard about that? Just get it done.
Memo about a week ago: Timeline for move shifted to September 9th
IT: Sir, this request is unreasonable especially since you still want us to go through the usual procurement process of hiring vendors to deal with stuff.
Management: So you mean to tell me you can't handle that in the next couple weeks?
IT: We're a large organisation with ~300 employees. The data centre in the new building isn't even usable yet.
Management: I don't care. Make sure everything is placed and operational by the 5th. Stop making a mountain out of a mole hill!4 -
Oh man... I fucked up. I spent almost 36-40 hours in 3 days trying to fix a bug, that was quite literally a single, two word fix.
Change `Key` to `Value.State`
I burned that time into the weekend. I'm both satisfied and dissatisfied with this decision.11 -
Open nodejs.org
Can you notice that one pixel on the top left side of green banner :-P
I'm not a designer but dude ...
7 -
Today during my Algorithms lab, the guy sitting to my left began digging his nose like he had buried treasure there. 🤢
Oh how I wanted to smash his face on his keyboard. 😭11 -
Me: Do you like the client?
Dude: Yeah! How did you make that?
Me: I... I...
Also me: SHIT I DON'T KNOW.4 -
I am having murderous feeling and wanting to throw everything around me. The fucking internet is slower than a dickless dude to get erection.2
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Today my manager hired a new dude doing front end, spend literally whole day to setup his VSCode and Angular thing.
And because I’m a good MIS dude, I do my job right via giving him a company laptop with VS, VSCode, Node and Angular preinstalled.3 -
"Dude, you HAVE to check out this meme i saw...
On DevRant...
No; of course it's not in the joke/meme category!"1 -
Got a missed call from a recruitment company today. Called the number back and dude said he didn't know me so I told him the name of this dude that looked at my LinkedIn today. Turns out it's him, lmfao. How many people does this guy cold call on a daily basis?3
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Today I saw, and heard, two attractive young women show a lot of annoyance over a dude revving his car's engine as he drove past them in an obvious effort to somehow impress them.
I have not once in my 32 years of age met a single regular woman (read as in, not a woman who is a car enthusiast, and even then they are annoyed) that has been impressed over a dude driving a car as if he were in a race track. Not once.
So I seriously wonder, what is the point? annoying people? I am a very standard dude, I like cars, but that shit fucking irritates me and I seriously do not get the point.11 -
Sometimes I think there are a lot of people that just don't deserve a blog.
Headline: "Which supermarket is the best??"
Text: "This bored dude bought butter in two supermarkets, but which one is cheaper??? Click the video to find out"
My dude. You have a fucking blog. You type stuff in it. Write the fucking result in a sentence AND STOP TRYING TO WASTE MY TIME.7 -
Me: ...blockchain...
*Wanna be techies*
*Investors*
*Dude who read a few articles about blockchain*
2 -
What the cinnamon toast fuck is this?!
This dude combined template literals and the good ol' fashion string concatenate method. But whhyyy
8 -
Dude... have you ever heard about... enums? They were invented so that you don’t have to explain magic numbers.
4 -
dude@milotic:~$ vncpasswd
Password:
Verify:
Password too long - only the first 8 characters will be used
WHAT1 -
Okay, I knew one of my colleagues was actually a work freak, but to this point...
He's been working for most of the day yesterday on a school project, and so was I. Satisfied with my progress, I push the code with TODOs on things we had to agree on tomorrow as well as mentioning it in the issue associated with it on Git, with my last commit a bit before 11PM.
I wake up, with a ping on Discord asking me what was that "bug" I just pushed, wondering what editor I use and asking me if I even use the console debugger. Said "bug" was the point of discussion I said we wanted to talk about tomorrow, I replied in the morning. But he decided of the fix on his own and committed it, as well as other things until... 3AM...
Honestly, I don't blame him for choosing at our stead, he's the leader of our branch and the Gitmaster on top of that. I just reproach him to call it a bug, not see the issue, and all that while he could, you know, sleep. And get some rest overall.
This dude has been working himself madly these last weeks, where he did about 80% of what each of the team member was supposed to do in a whole semester (which amounts to 150 hours of work) for this project (we're nine folks on it).
Now I'm pretty sure it's how he works and that he still gets a decent amount of sleep (like I dunno, until 9AM or so), so I don't expect a response beforehand.
And indeed, as he woke up, he replied to me.
At 7:50AM.
7 -
LMFAO
nice one dude. i'm gonna approve this one time just to show you i'm a good boss.
....of course not.
5 -
Dude on reddit was hearing weird faint noises from his phone.
You'll never guess what he found out!
(Cant find source tho 😭)
2 -
That one dude that claimed to know it all but when asked any questions he didn't know shit.
I think we've all seen a dude like this. -
"Ha you commented your code that nobody is going to read! That's funny dude good humor!"
If good coding practice is funny then I'm in good standing.3 -
I'm addicted to dark theme everywhere. Dark Firefox, dark chrome, dark YouTube, dark devrant, dark Reddit, dark Google keyboard. What else can I make dark?11
-
- dude why is the website not up yet?
- chill, it's just propagating to the phonebook of the internet
- what
- what
4 -
!rant.
Can we just show some community appreciation for @tahnik, I literally see them on everything I post.
Thanks dude!3 -
I am unable to create my avatar.
So now I have to rant about this ranting place. Come on!!
I am already fed up dude. Ufff.15 -
>Be active on telegram
>Be a part of Android ROM building chat
>Sees a noob begging for free server to build ROMs
>Everybody thinks he's a troll and ignores
>Dude PM's me for a free server
>I tell him that admins have free server so PM them
>Dude PM's literally every admin of that chat
>Dude gets gbanned instantly lolol
Am I evil ?1 -
Aaaah. I ask one fucking question on askubuntu. One dude marks it as duplicate, I explain in multiple comments it has no relation. Still fucking creates an answer with some solution with clearly doesn't work. If he had EYES he could see my configuration is already there and with his one brain cell conclude that it has nothing to do with it for fuck sake.8
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Ok guys, since what Im using is a laptop with some low specs since Im too broke to even afford a new FM2+ motherboard to repair my desktop pc and have a little more raw power to use and make more fancy stuff, I wish to know if anyone here legit is interested in some Original content images that Im thinking in make just out of spite in the Zerg Rush of users spaming about F. Quantum and if its worth my already highly limited time just to get hopefully more ++ than my last AMD OC that pretty much noone cared about
6 -
*arrives to date on time*
Dude: so what do you do for a living?
Chick: I'm a software developer.
*dude: she doesn't know I'm senior developer at my company *
Dude: oh that's cool
*let the games begin muahahahah (evil laugh) *5 -
If you haven't watched the Sales guy Vs. Web Dude convo, check it out https://youtu.be/W8_Kfjo3VjU 😂1
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Core Thread[20741]: segfault at 0 ip 0000000000000000 sp 00007faacbff7e98 error 14 in spotify
Dude, please handle being not able to open an audio output... :(1 -
Every time a Indian dude mails me at work I always get the urge to just answer:
Sorry I dont have bobs and vagene3 -
Let's see if my cover really stores heat...
I'm Melting in the shade :( can't work like this.
My nephew and I tryed my convencional milling machine, written half his name. I still got it
Funny thing, I'm noticing now... All the man from my direct family are crazy.
I was helping the mechanic yesterday, telling my adventures and he was always, lik he said father like sun.. The inventors...
Today I finally got my brother for an hour.. He is even crazyer then me, told me just a few of his diys and I'm like... Wow
8 -
Yay! Finnaly got to 10 Incréments, i can get a sexy new avatar ! And guess who was the dude who gave it to me :)
2 -
So, a spaghetti legacy code, written by some dude that obviously hates his job, needs update and we argue about spaces vs tabs....4
-
I don’t understand people who have sounds alongside vibration and flash for notification. Like, dude, is one not enough?2
-
I found someone commenting on some store location on Google maps:
- Where is its place exactly?
dude! you're commenting on ITS PLACE.1 -
Dude imagine being born in 12/3/4567.
Writing birth date fast af.
You could even slide your finger as a pianist.11 -
I dislike people that always want to “catch-up via quick call”. Dude can’t you type a simple message?6
-
When you cache index a faster query but your co-worker from other part of the world clears it.... It's been six times now dude2
-
~Of open worlds and post apocalypses~
"Like dude. What if we made an open world game with a map the size of the united states?"
"But really, what if we put the bong down for a minute, and like actually did it?"
"With spiky armor and factions and cats?"
"Not cats."
"Why not though?"
"Cuz dude, people ate them all."
https://yintercept.substack.com/p/...8 -
ML Dude: “Hey see what I did with this python code. It is so clean and dope”
Business Boss: “Well Done.”
ML Dude: “It is a nice approach don’t you think.”
Business Boss: “How does this put a money in my business account?”
ML Dude: “Ehmmmm”2 -
dude 1: Why is the sql sentence so slow? How can I improve it?
dude 2: buy more ram memory to database server
2 -
Me : This isn't connecting to the network because of MAC filter
Biz dude : okay give me a minute, I'll boot windows
Me : *facepalm*1 -
So today I set up an ubuntu server with LVM, encrypted root partition and decryption via usb key.
That shit is insane dude.13 -
I really don't like showing off developers. Like the guy just changes color or invokes a function. Then instagram #superdeveloper #coding #ai. Dude wtf.11
-
How to deal with merge-conflicts:
1. You don't
2. Just clone the whole repo anew again and start over dude -
I don't know what's wrong with using Bootstrap
*insert office dude meme*
And at this point I'm afraid to ask5 -
linkedin recruiter asking for my email...
cmon dude... its on my profile...
i mean do we even exist anymore
🤡3 -
[me, struggling to make a decent demo while errors are popping out and the client gives his feedback]
- Dude, dude ... dude
- What ?!!
- You keep saying "downland" instead of download -
is soo cool when people is up to joke around with my bad jokes.
-- Talking with a coworker about a new button in a results table --
dude: hey jhon, I'll name the button 'SHOW RESULTS' and the endpoint will be named that too. cuz there is a 'SHOW STATS' already
me: dunno, use something more meaningful, this is about unparsed results, right? so what about...
me: unparsed results ? unparsed stats ?
me: another one bites the dust? show must go on?
me: innuendo?
me: pick one 8D . But I think innuendo is pretty descriptive
dude: ok
me: seriously, 'show unparsed stats'
dude: got it
-- then the dude sends me the screenshot --
me: LOL, 8D
me: you got my respect man (_ _)
-
So... what the fuck is wrong with people in this company for fucks sake!
Dudes use promises and always call resolve()
Me: And how do you fucking handle errors?!
Dude: Well we call resolve with 2 arguments and error goes first obviously!
Me: why no callbacks for fucks sake!!
Manager(defending the dude): you don't understand we told the client that we would use bluebird promises. Client liked it so much that is why we got the job in the first place!
Me: (jaw opened - silence)....
Dude:(goes out happy for winning the argument)3 -
sometimes i have to remind myself "dude, the docs explain that shit well! why the hell are you wasting time on crappy resources??"
-
How much I hate when someone says "You need to do this because in my experience this is more optimized". Dude, have you even profiled that?
-
Lend a dude a pen and he sits next to me clicking it nonstop...you can keep that pen if you leave, my friend1
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Dude wanted to make the new Vinted app, asked on Quora "how much would it cost?" I answered "no less than 15k" and now he's interested
:(3 -
Someone is using fucking CSS floats. To align a button to the right. In a fucking Blazor app. Dude. What the fuck.7
-
VLC for android is horrendous when it comes to network storage (and ux, but that's vlc in general). 3500 audio titles in a playlist being vlc-native format via samba-share. The fucking thing just freezes up. 3 minutes later it still doesn't do anything..
Oh you say it's prebuffering? How nice it's able to do so witHOUT READING ANYTHING FROM THE FUCKING DISK IN MY SERVER NICE DUDE IS IT GOING TO FETCH IT TELEPATHICALLY?!3 -
You have all this power your ancestors never ever dreamed about to command every machine that uses a random bunch of characters at your fingertips and you do what?
A dating app!
4 -
It feels that I have my own personal space in the head offices of Google 2TB, Facebook 6TB.....I wish they could have provided that much cloud storage of data for free
-
Serverless app VS docker app
Let the rant begin !
Preferably write the cons and pros with your argument aswell :)6 -
Struggling with my graduation project.
Me: "fuckfuckfuck whyy this shit won't work!"
Dude: "would you like to solve every problem with just one click?"
Me: "yes please!!"
Dude: "shoot yourself in the head :D"
Well... it's just one click... and everything will be fine... mmmh yeah.1 -
I find adobe website fucked up. They asking to many personal information just for downloading a fucking trial software. Dude WTF?2
-
so i'm about to deploy admin application which doesn't have admins passwords hashed
after asking him, wtf dude?
he replied, no worries mate
fml5 -
My vps made me crazy last night when it showed me no space left on device, & i was like wtf dude merely using 2gb out of 50gb. The providers support almost convinced me to do a fresh install my already heavily configured vps. Then all of a sudden the vps back to normal this morning and I again was like wtf dude my night wasted on this shit 😒3
-
Dev: check these out everything is perfect as usual
Tester: your last code behave like windows update dude -
Me: The client is getting hosting from a different company than we suggested since they require you to pay via bank and she doesn't consider that safe.
Co-worker dude: But aren't banks like the safest way of paying?
Me: Well I guess not in the Filipines (where the client is from)
Dude: .......3 -
During a stand up meeting, boss turns up to us and says: "Who can stay later today?" Many hands rise. Turns up to new dude, who isn't performing that well: "that performance report automation, it is due tomorrow now. Fuck it. Get it done." Left at 21:30 from the office with an MVP but I usually arrive at 7:00 so I was fucking exhausted. Now, my question is: who am I supposed to be pissed off? The boss who went apeshit on the new dude or the new dude that isn't getting shit done?4
-
for the first time ever.
I watched 'The Boys' S3E1
one dude says 'I want U inside me'
and nother dude shrinks to ant size and
dude literally goes inside the penis. LIKE O-O
should I continue :|7 -
Did anyone had issues with BitLocker corrupting files and folders, and taking 2 days to finish encrypting a mostly empty drive? A checkdisk afterwards fixed most of the issues, but some files mysteriously vanished...
It's a company laptop, so I didn't have the choice about activating it. -
That dude that doesn't really understand the concept of cariables and hardcodes a caesar encryption/decryption.
I have no words for this. 1000+ lines of code -
Ansible be like:
[DEPRECATION WARNING]: The sudo command line option has been deprecated in favor of the "become" command line arguments. Yadda yadda yadda yadda yadda...
Me:
# grep -rnw . -e 'sudo'
#
Then why the fuck do you keep yelling at my face?10 -
Brrruh "mov" only works when both registers have the same size.
Could've told me this beforehand dude.5 -
Let's say you are just diplomed and got hired in a small dev company.
Let's say the company is eventually really boring, and it mainly devs with Drupal (see my profile to get my opinion about this CMS).
Let's say you leave, find a bigass society, they accept your desired pay per month, and tell you that, no, there won't be any Drupal in your future work.
Let's say that you come on monday and the first thing people ask you is to check you Drupal level, because you're going to be needed a in future projects.
What would you do?
This happened to someone who joined us this week, the dude who hired him (and no it's not a recruiter (almost sadly)) sweared him that wouldn't use Drupal, and it's been a week and he did only that. Should he just GTFO?7 -
They just hired another extroverted white dude. He'll fit just fine with all the other extroverted white dudes.9
-
Microservices -
But dude it doesn't fall in my service's domain, you should be taking care of this.
What makes you think it lies under mine? -
@Wisecrack
Dude, it seems someone has actually done 1bit Quant for a transformer model:
https://arxiv.org/pdf/...2 -
My goals for this year are
1. Dont be lazy
2. Be productive, start some programming dude!
3. Get a life. -
I love how my boss wants to use libraries for everything, even the most minor task needed he looks up for a library to do it, I think that sometimes he even spends more time looking for a library than the time he would spend writing the functionality
e.g. Roles for routes permissions, dude, you have the users role in session you can just write a middleware with ~15-20 lines of code to get them rid of the route come on -
Been listening to this while coding lately:
https://youtube.com/watch/...
Make me feel like some super coder guy ... dude ... bro ... something. -
Spent downtime during testing passing papers with this dude in my class working on an app. Pretty chill guy imo.
Good day. -
dude, C++ has evolved a lot, why don't companies move to C++ from java!
It's a universal truth that java's design sucks.14 -
That dude fresh from learning getters and setters in Intro to OOP calling your SOLID design unnecessary complicated
-
Dude, stop using dependency injection for your loggers. We don't need to inject that crap. Just define it and be done.9
-
Fuck its le craxy bean man monster fuck dude shit fuck my pants i mean pls no but go away bwan man monster bubbbbbbs dsmdlkdbs :'(((((((((-(((-(-(-(-(-?-?-?
peace *@* -
Thief: money of your life?
Student: money? life? Dude, im an engineering student. 🤣
Thief: sorry bro! -
There's always that one guy who keeps tapping on Pokémon Go at work. Like fo real dude, we all want our own Charizard, but maaaaaaaan.
-
Why would you use graphdb for "facebook-like" notification system?
It doesn't work that way, dude..
😑 -
I wonder is our customer's tech somewhere here.
Dude, you're great... Not... Just kidding. You are awesome!
ROFL:)
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