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My worst developer sin is probably me talking sh*t about programs I could never have done better myself.
"Omg, this is so inefficent!"
"Omg, the ui is so confusing!"
"What kind of idiot would do that?"
...I'm not the only one who does that, am I?12
A friend of mine is heavily into java. Like seriously... programming teachers at our school ask him for help.
Everytime he gets drunk he starts saying the weirdest things like "DUDE what's your alpha value I can hardly see you".
He greets me with "What's up socket boy" and after throwing up he thinks about the best ways to sort the data. (his vomit)
Has anyone else had such experiences? I want to hear some funny stories! :D13
Exp. that made me doubt my skills?
My non programming sister managed to find a bug I was looking for...
I couldn't find the problem for hours and she just looks at the screen and goes "That looks odd!"10
My freelancing horror story?
I remember like it was yesterday. It was late at night and I was doing some freelancing. (You know... the good stuff...)
All of a sudden the light began flickering, it got really cold and I felt like something was watching me!
OMG! SOMETHING JUST TOUCHED MY SHOULDER! I TURN AROUND AND...
...nothing. Nobody was there.
"I really need some sleep", I think to myself and turn back to my monitor.
Wait a second, what's that?
Oh my god...
How could this happen to me?
Those bastards got me after all!
I just witnessed...
A WINDOWS UPDATE!!!
I don't feel responsible for pants that need to be washed now.26
In the bottom left corner of the picture there is a devRant guy with a 3 monitor setup...
However 2 monitors are the biggest multi monitor setup you can select...
*puts tinfoil hat on*
Have I just leaked the next big devRant update?53
Intelligence and ability cannot be measured by education.
I have a client who asked a Master in Computer Science to develop a small system, for querying product title and their code. The guy used python, vanilla js, and... Txt file for the "database". Then my client asked me to integrated this in... WordPress.
This was in 2016. And idiot as I'm, I agreed and adapted his code to use php and a database.
April this year, my client said they are still using the python system to add new products all this time, in parallel. And wanted to update the WordPress with the data.
- No problem! - I said. Just send me the SQL file.
So the Master in CS sent me a SQL coded in ANSI. I asked for the SQL again, but with a more appropriate encoding. He took 1 month to reply back, and said it would be better if I get rid of the database and just use the txt file for querying.
This is outrageous.
I really hate people who are educated but completely useless.3
How to talk as a dev to a dev:
1.) Talk normally
2.) Start shouting
3.) Slow down but say it more aggressively
4.) Realise you made a mistake and/or misunderstood something
5.) Explain why it's not your fault
6.) Explain why it's someone elses fault
So, I sign up for devrant and read all about the school devops fuckery everyone seems to have.
The only problem is, computers at my school's lab has no internet access and only a pirated copy of.... Visual Studio *6*. Hell, that's 5 years older than I am.
No python, no git, nothing. The best part, you ask? They use VS6 just for teaching 9th graders Visual Basic, and for C and C++, they use TurboC++ in DOSBox. 25-year old software. They teach us Pre-ANSI C++.
No fucking wonder people from here re-learn everything on the job. I jumped the gun and started messing with basic C++ in 7th grade, and then had to go back and remember that 25 years ago, they used <iostream.h> instead of just <iostream>.
Everyone just saves their code in the TC/BIN folder in DOS too, making it more of a chaotic mess than anything ever imaginable.
Bringing your own device? Too bad that's against the school rules.
The fact that they went out of their damn way to make me use TurboC in DOSBox on Windows 7 instead of giving me a sane Linux install with an editor and GCC is just... ugh.
My classmates all think I work magic, while all I really do is simple logic. Schools here in India are almost universally terrible.
Well, it's a good thing I started learning it on my own, because if I thought programming was in any way similar to how they try to teach it to us, I would've given up a long time ago.28
It was a cold monday evening.
I was alone in my room.
Many hours of coding had passed.
Windows offered me two options:
"Shutdown with update"
Anoyed by the update but thankful for the first option i decided to go with number one.
Windows started its shuting down process when all of a sudden...
"Please don't turn off your machine! Your updates are being konfigured!
It was that evening...
That one speciall evening...
Do nothing about this problem and cry myself to sleep...18
Most expensive and best rated school form in my country
Most polite, educated and responsible students
...and this is how they look like one minute before class starts7
Non-dev activity that made me a better dev?
That's an easy one.
Playing the piano. Or better: learning to play the piano.
(With the help of my teacher) I developed many skills that help me learn faster and I learned how to properly use and organize my time.5
So my classmate just decided to write "printf("Suck my balls I dont remember how to do this);" in a programming exam and forgot to delete it before handing it in.
Well... after saying "sorry" like a hundred times the teacher accepted his apology.8
Guys i got 1000++!!!
It's not that i'm special now.
Just more special than others.
Oh I remember the old times when devRant veterans like @linuxxx or @Alice posted their first rants and I welcomed them!
I even remember that night I gave @dfox the idea of creating this app! "That's stupid.", he said. "If this app should be succesful I owe you some special kind of duck we will produce for some reasons I don't know yet!", he said.
But for real now: Thanks everybody for being a part of this and for bringing me so much joy!8
Whenever a friend is raging over some bug i'm like:
Calm down... relax... write a rant... get schwifty...6
Earlier this day i reached 1000++. Nice, isn't it?
Suddenly an idea comes to my mind.
Why not make a rant and thank everybody? And now comes the important part:
Why not make up a funny story telling how i met @dfox and welcomed @linuxxx and @alice on devRant?
Because somehow the story isn't funny at all because nobody got that it was a joke...
People think i'm really old (19 btw.)
People think I know @dfox personally
@linuxxx can't even remember how I never welcomed him
So... sry... I guess? But thanks for the really nice comments!9
So i look at my phone checking how late it is...
I put my phone back into my pocket...
My brain is like "time = null;"1
Spending a lot of time in 'recent' I greet many people with "Welcome to devRant" every day.
The funny part: half of them used devRant before I even knew it existed but they just now decided to write their first rant8
Where do most devRant users come from?
Please add your country in the comments or ++ if already existing!
Dont ++ this question though. I ask out of curiosity and not for the ++.68
Stougles of a developer whose native language is not English.
1 ANSI keyboard for dev
1 local ISO qertz keyboard for everything else with weird characters8
Had no internet for hours.
Called the support.
"We will fix it!" they said and they actually did. So maybe there are competent people working there as well???
No. Of course not.
Two hours later I receive a call from them. "It was not our fault. There was an update so we had to plug the cables back into the right ports."
I know... I know... We're not kids anymore...
But come on there just has to be a group of Harry Potter lovers in this "geeky" community.
So which house do you see yourself in?
Me, myself and I = Ravenclaw all the way
*this post was shamefully inspired by the description of @theNox*32
The feeling when someone ++ one of your old rants/comments you have totally forgotten about so you read it and start laughing because let's be honest you must be like the funniest person ever?!1
I really love Mr Robot.
The show though... not the guy...
But there's one thing that bugs me since the beginning:
For security reasons Elliot destroys all his drives and puts his RAM into the microwave which of course is effective but why would you even consider frying volatile memory?
Sure... the data can remain for some time but not that long that he would risk anything...
Oh and btw... SEASON 3 IS NOT THE END??? LIKE WHAAAAAT?5
I felt inspired by programming when I wrote my first C code.
Up until then the machine would talk and I would listen.
Now all of a sudden I was able to tell it to do whatever I want it to do.
Fuck this shitty C ecosystem! Multible compilers, one standard complying, one hacked toghether? Only one GPL poisoned standart library, with no real chance of switching it, which prevents me of making staticly linked programs? And then there is microsofts compiler, with fucking ANSI support. Thanks. No dependency handling. Concurrency? pthreads. Are you fucking kidding. JSON? Have fun finding something static. Compile times where you can read entire books. Segfaults without one helpful info, so you have to debug with prints. And every library, every tool, installer, compiler, stdlib, anything is poisoned by GPL. But hey, its fast. And efficient. After you spend many slow and inefficient months developing something. I am so done with this shit.
Tommorow i will continue working with C on my backup project.
Did i mention that the stdlib has no features? Not even threading? Which is IN THE STANDARD?15
Some many nice and new programming languages out there and even some older ones still get updated but at my university we are supposed to use the ANCIENT AND ANNOYING ANSI C (C89)??! Why...3
First of all I want to say that I like how much this group rant is inspired by people complaining about their parents last week. (there were a lot)
Whenever I wanted to proudly present my family something I programmed they just answered (and that really infuriated me) "Just don't do anything illegal, ok?".
These words held so little appreciaten for what I would invest so many hours into because I love it so much...2
Apparently "in" and "out" are the new "varying" and "attribute" in OpenGL's shader language...
Even buying a new graphics card can f*ck up your whole day! 😥2
Worst dev experience:
Best dev experience:
Actually learning because of a new, more competent professor3
Ctrl and S will definitely be the first keys I have to replace...
Hitting them after every keystroke I make.
Safety first kids!2
Don't get me wrong I love the weekly rants!
...but on mondays I just genuinely don't use devRant because reading about the same topic over and over again becomes boring so quickly.1
My biggest regret is underestimating what my school's server would log and what my teachers could see me do.
SSH is just way to powerful...4
In two weeks of christmas holidays my brain had enough time to fire the guy that was in charge of my sleep pattern and to hire a new guy with less experience that is really trying hard to fix the mess that has been left for him.
Went to bed at 5am...
Woke up at 9am...
I'm getting there!4
8 hours of networking/static routing exercises...
Windows bug: system provides two standardgateways
Let me write that again:
Neither me nor my teacher found out how this happened
You know you could buy any game whenever you want but they are just way too expensive...
But now you got a paysafecard for christmas... now you have to buy a game... I mean... the money was dedicated for games... it would be wrong not to buy a game...
BEST PRESENT EVER2
I am really curious... who of you actually uses snapchat and why?
In my opinion it's one of the most useless apps out there and one of the best concepts to share all your private information with other people and of course the developers.
Also I'd like to believe that rather intelligent people don't use it or if they use it then just for the sake of not being excluded. Since this is a community of programmers I'd like to hear your opinions.9
I hate password restrictions that enforce all kind of limitations but then also limit you to a max of 16 ANSI characters ... i want passwords like this pѬѬasѪ"§§)("!编/)$=?!°&%)?§"$(§sw2
Two friends of mine (one of which actually introduced me to devRant) refuse to post on here.
...there's no need to explain that I want them to enjoy devRant (at it's full potential) with me but they don't see a point in writing.
Would you be so kind and give them some motivation/reasons in the comments? What's the point of dev-ranting?9
My first exposure to computers?
My father had bought this new machine (windows 98 "new" of course) and we put it in a very moist place (some kind of halfway balcony) in our old flat.
...which was pretty stupid.
One day it made a loud nois, started smoking and stopped responding.
I loved the animated paperclip though!
I love exceptions - ANSI C with exceptions - that would be perfect for me.
I know that there are different opinions out there... I can’t understand why they haven’t implemented exceptions into Go. I have read the article why they didn’t but for me... exceptions are a GREAT language concept!!!!3
Didn't think I had material for a rant but... Oh boy (at least at the level I'm at, I'm sure worse is to come)
I'm a Java programmer, lets get that out of the way. I like Java, it feels warm and fuzzy, and I'm still a n00b so I'm allowed to not code everything in assembly or whatever.
So I saw this video about compilers and how they optimize and move and do stuff with the machine code while generating the executable files. And the guy was using this cool terminal that had color, autocomplete past commands and just looked cool. So I was like "I'll make that for my next project!"
So I Google around and find a code snipped that gives me "raw" input (vs "cooked" input) and returns codes and I'm like 😎. Pressing "a" returns 97 (I think that's the ASCII value) and I think this is all golden now.
No point in ranting if everything goes as planned so here is the *but*
Tabs, backspaces and other codes like that returned appropriate ASCII codes in Unix. But in windows, no such thing. And since I though I'd go multiplatform (WORA amarite) now I had to do extra work so that it worked cross platform.
Then I saw arrow keys have no ASCII codes... So I pressed a arrow key and THREE SEPARATE VALUES WERE REGISTERED. Let me reiterate. Unix was pretending I had pressed three keys instead of one, for arrow keys. So on Unix, I had to work some magic to get accurate readings on what the user was actually doing (not too bad but still...). Windows actually behaved better, just spit out some high values and all was good. So two more systems I had to set up for dealing with arrow keys.
Now I got to ANSI codes (to display color, move around the terminal window and do other stuff). Unix supports them and Windows did but doesn't but does with some Win 10 patch...? But when tested it doesn't (at least from what I've seen). So now, all that work I put into making one Unix key and arrow key reader, and same for Windows, flies out the window. Windows needs a UI (I will force Win users, screw compatibility).
So after all the fiddling and messing, trying to make the bloody thing work on all systems, I now have to toss half the input system and rework it to support UI. And make a UI, which I absolutely despise (why I want to do back end work and thought this would be good, since terminal is not too front end).2
!rant from a support guy
I was tasked to migrate an Exchange 2003 server (yes, those are still used) for an upcoming Office 365 deployment. There are no direct upgrade path from one another, as far as we know
My task was to export PSTs from mailboxes. Great, a native tool exist for that in 2003 (exmerge). But only for less than 2 GB mailboxes because ANSI/Unicode! Half of our mailbox busts that limit. Oh, it seems Exchange 2007 has a PowerShell command for exporting to PST as well! But pre-SP3, that command relies on a local installation of Outlook on the server (DAFUQ), and has been superseded by another "standalone" powershell command. So I install a bogus Windows 2012 server only for that purpose, with Exchange Management Tools (which, by the way, is bundled with the Exchange installation setup and REQUIRES to have IIS installed on the target machine. Also, if you install ONLY the Exchange 2007 Management Tools and wish to uninstall them afterwards, you can't because the uninstaller wants me to select an Exchange Role to remove, which are all unchecked in my tools-only setup). Never worked, and Google-fu says that the newer Exchange 2007 New-MailboxExportRequest command seems to have removed Exchange 2003 support.
So i'm back to installing a pre-SP3 Exchange 2007. Then the older Export-Mailbox powershell command whines about 64bits and 32bit incompatiblity-- actually I ***HAVE*** to have the whole OS/software stack 32bit ONLY. Don't ask me why!
Some article I found says I could fire up an XP virtual machine for that, I go for Win 7 x86. "Sorry, Microsoft Exchange won't be installed on a workstation environment because reasons." All right then, let's go for an old Windows Server 2003 x86. Have you tried to boot this up in an Hyper-V environment where mouse and keyboard support for Windows Server 2003 are apparently optional? No keyboard AND mouse events sent to the guest machine at all.
* Sigh *, let's use a Windows Server 2008, but WATCH OUT! Microsoft has discontinued x86 support on their W2008 R2 release, so non-R2 for me. Even then, mouse event wasn't sent until I installed guest additions.
After all, export-mailbox ended up working, but that costed me two days of banging my head against the wall. (Oh, and I take internal calls inbetween as well...)
And that's why I aspire to be a programmer. Thank you for nothing, Microsoft!4
When you learn to work with unix but you forget what "man" stands for because english is not your native language so you man man...
Its "manual" btw...
You haven't lived until you've experience the sheer power of a CRT monitor, hooked up to a 286/12, with a 2600 baud external zoom for m00fing the shit out of other users in chat, so your friends with leech accounts can help download the 38 pkzip files via ZMODEM.
Shit... gotta go! iCE just released the latest pack on Sanctuary, and my ANSI art is being featured as the welcome screen on Pair O' Dice.
Finally friday! Only a few hours left in it school and I can start programming again and catch up with all the sleep i'm missing by not getting up till 5pm...1
When you comment on a comment and want to read again what exactly the writer meant and you tap on comment again after reading it adds the username again at the end of your text which is not really a bug but somewhat poorly handled...1
After trying to print colored text to the console using a portable Python 3 interpreter on Windows I came up with a "solution". I tried pretty much everything possible (I could think of): curses couldn't be loaded, ansi didn't work and installing libraries wasn't really an option, because it's not my device. Fuck portable interpreters and have fun with the "solution".
Def color_print(text, color):
text = text.replace("\n", "\\\" \\\"")
os.system ("powershell \"$host.ui.RawUi.ForegroundColor = \\\"" + color + "\\\"; echo \\\"" + test + "\\\"; $host.ui.RawUi.ForegroundColor = \\\"Gray\\\"")
It's slow, unreadable, only works for on Windows and requires powershell and is probably the worst piece of code I ever wrote, but it works 👍.2