Looking for a job as a deveoper be like:

Job title: car driver

Job requirements: professional skills in driving normal- and heavy-freight cars, buses and trucks, trolley buses, trams, subways, tractors, shovel diggers, contemporary light and heavy tanks currently in use by NATO countries.

Skills in rally and extreme driving are obligatory!
Formula-1 driving experience is a plus.

Knowledge and experience in repairing of piston and rotor/Wankel engines, automatic and manual transmissions, ignition systems, board computer, ABS, ABD, GPS and car-audio systems by world-known manufacturers - obligatory!

Experience with car-painting and tinsmith tasks is a plus.

The applicants must have certificates by BMW, General Motors and Bosch, but not older than two years.

Compensation: $15-$20/hour, depends on the interview result.

Education requirements: Bachelor's Degree of Engineering.

On the feedback form of a new app I started using, I gave several suggestions of features I'd really like to have. As a joke, number 6 was "hire me and Ill write them".

They didn't take it as a joke. Im now 3/4 of the way through their hiring process and they like me the best of all applicants.

HR made a day long inclusiveness meeting. About why there are so few women in the department. Basically the conclusion the HR rep was looking for was “toxic masculinity” and it was super uncomfortable.

The engineering teams couldn’t actually participate much because most of them worked on teams without any women and have absolutely nothing to do with hiring. The male engineers were trying to play along and give the right answers. We had to do flip charts and beak into teams and etc.

The HR kept singling out the same three women in engineering and telling the men to “shut up and listen to them”. The female engineers were like, “i don’t know. I don’t have much to say about it.” The HR rep continued to drill those three women to the point that it was uncomfortable.

The engineering hiring manager lost it before noon. He went to his desk and grabbed a stack of resumes. “You gave me a stack of 60 resumes. Looking at names only four applicants are female. Those applicants don’t have education or experience for engineering. If you want more female engineers in the office you have to put qualified applicants into the stack. Forcing these three engineers to talk in front of our department over and over and saying the men have to shut up is not making the workplace less toxic.” Then he told the three engineers, “This meeting is now optional for you three and you are welcome to do anything you want with your time.”

After lunch, all the female engineers went back to their desk and worked. The HR continued to shame the men in an angrier tone for the rest of the day telling everyone “how men can be” from personal experience because they were the ones now representing all women.

Eight bloody hours of that.

They want to test applicants knowledge of Jason Voorhees for a Database Position O_o

Man, I think we've all gotten way too many of these.

Normally most interactions that I have are through email. Eventually some would try to contact me via phone. These are some:

"Hey! We are calling you from <whatever company name> solutions! (most of them always seem to end on solutions or some shit like that) concerning the Ruby on Rails senior dev opportunity we were talking about via email"
<niceties, how are you doing, similar shit goes here...eventually>

So tell us! how good/comfortable would you say you are with C++?"

Me: I have never done anything serious with c++ and did just use it at school, but because I am not a professional in it I did not list it in my CV, what does it have to do with Rails?

Them: "Oh the applications of this position must be ready to take in additional duties which sometimes happen to be C or C++"

Me: Well that was not anywhere in the offer you sent, it specifically requested a full stack Rails developer that could work with 3 different frontend stacks already and like 4 different databases plus bla bla bla, I did not see c++ anywhere in it. Matter of fact I find it funny, one of the things that I was curious about was the salary, for what you are asking and specifically in the city in which you are asking it for 75k is way too low, you are seriously expecting a senior level rails dev to do all that AND take additional duties with c++? cpp could mean a billion different things"

Them: "well this is a big opportunity that will increase your level to senior position"

Me: the add ALREADY asks for a senior position, why are you making it sound that I will get build towards that level if you are already off the bat asking for seniors only to begin with?

Them: You are not getting it, it is an opportunity to grow into a senior, applicants right now are junior to mid-level

ME: You are all not making any sense, please don't contact me again.

=======

Them: We are looking for someone with 15 years experience with Swift development for mobile and web

Me: What is up with your people not making these requirements in paper? if I knew from the beginning that you people think that Swift is 15 years old I would have never agreed to this "interview"

Them: If you are not interested in that then might we offer this one for someone with 10 years experience as a full stack TypeScript developer.

Me: No, again, check your dates, this is insulting.

===

* For another Rails position

Them: How good are you with Ruby on Rails in terms of Python?

Me: excuse me? Python has nothing to do with Ruby on Rails.

Her (recruiter was a woman) * with a tone of superiority: I have it here that Python is the primary technology that accompanies Rails development.

Me (thinking this was a joke) : What do you think the RUBY part of Ruby on Rails is for? and what does "accompanies Rails development" even means?

Her: Well if you are not interested in using Rails with Python then maybe you can tell us about your experience in using Javascript as the main scripting platform for Rails.

Me: This is a joke, goodbye.

====

To be fair this was years ago when I still didn't know better and test the recruiters during the email part of being contacted. Now a days I feel sorry for everyone since I just say no without even bothering. This is a meme all on itself which no one has ever bothered to review and correct in years for now. I don't know why recruiters don't google themselves to see what people think of their "profession" in order to become better.

I've even had the Java/Javascript stupidity thrown at me by a local company. For that one it was someone from their very same HR department doing the rectuiter, their shop foreman was a friend of the family, did him the service of calling him to let him know that his HR was never going to land the kind of developer they were looking for with the retarded questions they had and sent him a detailed email concerning the correct information they needed for their JAVAscript job which they kept confusing with Java (for some reason in the context of Spring, they literally wanted nothing with Spring, they wanted some junior to do animations and shit like that on their company's website, which was in php, Java was nowhere in this equation)

I think people in web development get the short end of the stick when it comes to retarded recruiters more than anywhere else.

We've been trying to hire a greenhorn, fresh-faced intern from India for like a month now.
Plenty of applicants, most with very nice curriculums, a few even can think on their feet while grilled by my questions.
I've sent to talk to HR three almost college-graduating candidates, who convinced me they know the subject of data engineering enough to be working with me and that they are actually gonna do the tasks assigned.

The fucking tweep at HR, an old fart who I had to convince that HVAC maintenance is not the job of the IT department nor the data team, calls my approved candidates "too junior".
WTF, I ask. - "Not professional enough", says the human toad.
Yes, they are to be interns! - "But they do not show professionalism", answered the hag.
Yes they do! They were very professional on the interviews! - "That is for me to say!" barked the reptile.

A week pass by while I try to find more just as good candidates who are also "more professional" when the hag has the audacity to say "here, I found someone. He knows everything about computer things and is very professional".
I took like 20 seconds to find out that the kid she'd given my number to, and was now messaging me IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING NIGHT, was her niece's fiancee and wasn't even in uni! He was just a high school graduate!
Seriously, nepotism kids, delete your Instagrams, tiktoks and every single piece of social media.

I scaled the issue to my VP, who contacted the HR VP for India, who gave the worst possible excuse for her behaviour: "She knows nothing about computer things!" for what my own boss said "so why was she assigned to oversee the data team's new hires?!". The HR slug mumbled something and then doubled down with "well, the kids you sent her were all girls! she had never hired a girl to a technical position, she wouldn't know what to look for in an interview!"

What. The. Fuck.
My boss, my VP of a very strategic technical area, happens to be a woman who lives in a place where women's rights are for real. I had *never* heard she swear on a non-football-related context. She did. Loudly. On camera. As if the HR boss was a referee who just disallowed a goal for her team due to an very ambiguous forward pass.

Shit is still flowing, but it seems that the hiring process of the entire company is being restructured because of that.
I guess I've just sped up this process in about one hundred years?

Company: *Doesn’t even send out rejection letters to applicants after wasting weeks/months of their time with their bogus interview process.*

Good employee at said company: *gets new job and ghosts company*

Company:

Horrible interview story:
I was interviewed in a meeting room along with 2 other applicants at the same time. Our CVs were read to us in front of each other, and the questions were asked game show style where the fastest one answers.
It was terribly unprofessional and a huge red flag.
They wanted to give me a starting salary of 1000$.
Thankfully, I got accepted in another much better company before making a possibly huge mistake.

I brushed my teeth and went to bed at 10, opened up youtube and just chilled out,
boss calls me up at 11 I'm like, nah fam tomorrow...
Calls again and again and again, calling for the 6 time on 2 numbers!?
(M8 can't u see I'm out)
Then he texts me, bro, it's urgent!
I decide to call him up.
Boss: hey dude
Me: hey (trying to not get triggered)
Me: so what's so urgent?
Boss: OK so 2 things, I will email all of our job applicants on August 28, 2: are you available tomorrow?
Me: ( LITERALLY GOT TRIGGERED AS FUCK, THOUGHT WE HAD A DICK PICTURE ON OUR SITE OR HOSTINGER DECIDED TO BILL 2 TIMES)
ME: 👏Dude, this is so urgent? R u kidding me???? Am I available tomorrow and you will email are job applicants on August 28????

Ffs I swear

I was at a college career fair and had a list of 20 booths to visit. There were maybe a thousand other applicants. I was the only one in pink (technically coral) shoes. I'd walked four miles in those heels and had blisters everywhere I could from them.

At my last booth, the guy says "Oh! Pink shoes! I've been noticing them all day! Nice to meet you, I'm X." I gave him my background and resume, talked about the kinds of problems I wanted to solve and was invited to interview with them.

On my way home, I walked barefoot through downtown despite the ice on the sidewalks just to get out of those damn shoes.

A few weeks later, I got the job.

So I've been applying to jobs. I, purposely, have been putting down that I am female (since they all harp on diversity, I'd like to see if they even bother reaching out to me. Also anything to get my resume past the bots).

Spoiler alert - getting similar ratios to male counterparts, 100+ applications sent, maybe 4 phone interviews. No offers yet. Still made to do code challenges.

Well, I just found out where all that diversity hiring went to. Buddy of mine who works at a mid tier company said that they have a special program that onboards women into tech.

Specifically, women who have literally zero background in computers.

Teachers, social workers, etc. They get a week or so of some coding bootcamp and then get full time positions over more skilled applicants.

This infuriates me. I literally would be in a better situation to be hired had I not have had any technical background, taken this particular bootcamp and finally net the elusive entry level position I need.

And guess what? That move has antagonized the existing male employees who see that they have zero interest and zero competency instead of having an integrated workplace.

10/10 for incredible bullshit.

Awkward recruiting process? Sit the fuck back!

So about a year ago I got laid off. I got some help setting up LinkedIn and realising I'm not trash and offers to talk started flowing in.

So this consultancy firm asks me to come in for a talk and having nothing better to do I oblige - they're working on big, exciting Greenfield stuff and I'm amazed they want me.
Fast forward the most nervous week in my life and the HR assistant brings me into the meeting room, I get some water and a nice first impression - also my last. I wait in the room for five minutes.

In walks madam HR, madam Team lead and miss assistant from before, all carrying big ass laptops. We shake hands and they sit down and all open up their laptops between me and them - I just sit there feeling naked with my block of paper and pencil I brought.

So we wait for their machines to start up and madam HR just starts throwing questions at me and seemingly noting my answers into a sheet. Meanwhile madam Teamlead is busy on her phone most of the time and my most human interaction remains smalltalk and questions between me and miss assistant.

I did manage to get madam Teamlead to look up from her phone when I asked how they felt about the fact that I have no formal training and would need to pick up a lot of skills as we go, to which she said something along 'well this ain't a candy shop, we expect you to work' and looked back down at her phone.

A bit shaken, I agreed to stay for the technical test (apparently I passed the interview...)
Now this test was designed by their CTO since he didn't feel like any of the available tests on the market could properly judge applicants' skilllevels. Yes, alarms went off already at that point.

What I'm presented with is a word document with questions, and another for answers and... It's just string gymnastics and reference/value difference knowledge - shit it takes you a split second to look up or test if you ever get into these insane cases where you need to know. And then there was a likewise one with sql statements that was also just convoluted query gymnastics and trying to hide changes in the seemingly same statement through various questions. No questions on design, no problem solving, just... Attention span testing with a dash of coding?

Anyway, it turned out they had evening and weekend shifts and round the clock support tournus which on top of the ridiculous recruitment process and way lower than average salary offer had me turn them down.

Don't enable bullshit people, run away!

Gonna go to uni in a few months. So I applied to 2 companies for a side job. (10hrs/week - some kind of scholarship)

First interview:
Of all the applicants I seemed to be the only one with enough technical knowledge to be considered. :)
They rejected me still, because I don't have enough time to have a proper onboarding process. They offered that I could start off in the holidays in the second year of uni.

Second Interview:
Had a test with logic and a little bit of maths. Nearly completed that and then had a technical talk with their team lead. He said that I sound like I know my stuff. They are gonna contact me next week...

I think I aced the interviews, and being complimented on my knowledge feels validating.
Let's see where this is going...

During interview...

Interviewer: Do you know what is JQuery?
Applicants: Yes?
Interviewer: what is JQuery?
Applicants: am.... (in a couple of minutes thinking, the right answer that could be)
Applicants: JQuery is Java Query?

a pretty honest mistakes where the applicant do not know the answer and looks confident during interview

I was impressed with my latest job interview in the government (got the job).

Applied online, and they extended the application deadline because the lack of quality of applications.

I got invited for an interview. Present there were HR manager, Department manager and an employee from the regional office (opening a new dev department in the region).
Most of the interview consisted of them telling me about the company, and asking a bit about me. Nothing technical.

1.5 month later I got a 2nd interview. Present were two developers from the main office in Oslo. Again, very little questions about my technical capabilities. Mostly just repeating the stuff said in the first interview. Though I did have to send some code in for review by them.

A month later I get a phone call from the department head saying they’d like to offer me a job, but they don’t have a concrete job offer yet, as it has to be approved by a committee (gov stuff). That takes two weeks, and I finally got job offer. 42% pay rise from the current job in the private sector.

I later went and re-read the ad for the job. “Bachelor/ master required. For particularly qualified applicants, this requirement can be ignored.”

Fascinating that they didn’t give me more tests.

Joined my current company as a Frontend Engineer 2 years back. They recently got funded and started hiring with a higher salary range. Not to brag but I'm pretty good at my job with 6yr of experience but my current salary makes me a lower mid-level engineer now and I'm the only frontend guy here.

So, now they're asking me to take interviews of the applicants who are applying for the senior position.

Why do people have to be such an assholes to the employees, man?

Yesterday we were in a meeting discussing the online admission process for the university. Then in some point of the conversation, he said he was going to write a script to automatically check the applicants if their details are identical in the government database. We were all shocked as we hear the phrase "I will write a script" because he has never done so. Today we learnt that he was giving the work to his secretaries to manually login and check if the details were correct.

Recruiting front end right now… I’m tiered of this BS.
95% of applicants: “hey I don’t understand what you want, but look at my cool, ToDo app in <INSERT ANY framework>”
“Ok, now add a quick search in your todo project”
“Oh wow, it’s like 5 days work lol and should be managed at back end. I Shouldn’t care”.
How HOW these idiots even have a job ?
I’m out of words. I want to scream, pull my own hair and (Weirdly enough) watch a DareDevil movie

"due to the amount of applicants, we can't respond to every applicant email"

let me translate the manager-speak for you: "due to us being stuck-up douchebags, we feel as though our company is more valuable than literally the 2 minutes of time it takes to write a yes or no email, so we'd rather keep you hanging and never give you feedback. oh yeah we're also not professional at all"

god why the FUCK am i even applying for jobs, each place is more shittier and toxic than the next

I am conducting technical interviews for about 10 years now.
I swear to god, the applicants keep getting dumber and dumber.
Getting more and more ashamed to talk about data structures, design patters or even the most basic algorithms, everyone with a graduation badge from udemy is now a software engineer. Fuck this shit.

Fuck you companies that have hidden requirements in. their. job. offers.

It's so annoying to spend my valuable time on an application for a job that I think myself a perfect fit for, just to find out that they are looking for applicants "with more experience in..." (fill in the gap)

Just fucking put it in the requirements already and save us both our time.

The story of how I got my dream job.

I was working for a company with a job I got just after graduating university. It was ok, not very exciting tech but I learned a lot by just surrounding myself with professional code monkeys. I was there for about a year when my company bought parts of another company and there was talk about people getting fired. This made me worried since I was the last one to get hired, so I started looking around for other jobs. I received this e-mail from a company saying they were looking for interns, what a coincidence! I adjusted my CV and sent it in.

--A few weeks pass--

It's Friday and I'm at a dinner party, it's 10pm and someone is calling me. I pick up and it's a recruiter from this company. I get very nervous but the alcohol helps me keep my cool, I pass the initial idiot test and they invite me for an interview. Yay!

I go to work on Monday and in a 1-on-1 and I tell my boss about the upcoming interview, he gives me a high-five :)

The interview is approaching and I'm feeling that I'm about to get sick, I refuse to believe this so I start taking a lot of medicine (painkillers, cough medicine etc.). I feel a bit better and thank the gods for medication.

--D-day--

I wake up, put on my nicest clothes and get on the train. I had one hour to spare just in case, which was well needed because the fucking train is late by 30 minutes. I'm still heavily medicated because of my ongoing fever. When I arrive I basically have to run there and somehow I manage to pick up a coffee on the way there which I devour in two seconds. I'm ready for the interview!

Some guy meets me in reception and the first thing he says is "My colleague doesn't speak our language so we'll have to speak english". This is fine, I speak good english but I was not prepared for this so it caught me off-guard and made me even more nervous. We get in and start talking. Things are going OK despite my numbed brain. I try to make eye-contact to make a good impression with the foreign engineer but he keeps staring somewhere which is making me nervous.

We get to the technical part on a whiteboard and this is where my brain decides to stop communicating. I'm presented a simple task which I'm struggling with finishing, and I feel the embarrassment coming over me. "NOOOOO THIS IS MY DREAM JOB, THIS CANNOT BE HAPPENING!" I'm thinking to myself. After making myself look like a complete arsehole for some time we wrap it up and just before I step out the door I say to the engineer "You should checkout my Github page, I have lots of interesting stuff there" and he says "I'll be sure to do that" but I don't believe him.

I leave the office in fury (of myself) and make my way to the train station and even though it's the middle of the day I quickly devour two beers to calm my nerves and make me feel a bit better. I was so damn disappointed in myself, I wasted the opportunity of a lifetime! I go back home to my regular (now shitty) job.

--Two days later--

I get a call from an unknown number. I pick up the phone and it's the same recruiter guy. "So how did you think it went?" he says. "To be honest, I think it went really bad", I replied. "What? Really? Because they loved you, you got the job". (this was an obvious recruiter lie) "... wat, are you sure you called the correct person?" I said and he just laughed. The day after I quit my old job the whole department gets fired - such impeccable timing.

--A few months later--

I finish my internship and they want to keep me. I'm so happy. The engineer that was in the interview works on my team. I ask him "Why did you hire me? You know as well as I do that my interview was horrible". It turns out he _did_ look at my Github profile and that's how he knew I could write code. I also heard later that for my position there was about 2000 applicants and somehow I made the interviews.

I still work there today and I couldn't be happier (Sorry for the long text).

Okay so I have a lot of experience in UI/UX, graphic design, and Front End dev, but I hate it. My github and resume are full of front end shit because it makes up most of my experience, and so when I apply to software dev things I often don’t get interviews because of lack of exp.

Well today I got an email from a big company that I applied to over a month ago and they told me that I was an excellent candidate and that they’d like to interview me. I say “the position is still open? I applied over a month ago!” to which they respond “well, the position you applied to has closed, but we are looking to hire a UX developer and had your application in our UX pool of applicants”

I did not fucking apply for this. They saw my application and threw it into the pool for future UX gigs and I’m mad because I’m not in a position to not interview for this job but I also really want to work in software.

Do you think, assuming I got the job, that it would hurt my prospects further to work in UX?

So I started a 80hour intership today at our Department of Education and this is how it went...

Boss : Design a database to show all applicants that applied for jobs at schools.

*I start thinking which tables and columns I'm going to use and start designing the database, writes out all the tables on paper*

Me : Is there a pc I should work on or should I use my laptop? And which database engine do you use?

B : No you can use your laptop. And btw we use MS Access

*Thinking wtf kind of business even governmental uses Access for their databases. But anyway, start creating the databases and relationships when my boss walks in*

B : No, what are you doing?

M : Im creating the database you asked for.

B : No, you design it on paper. Draw all the tables, draw the report and the form then you come show it to me, if I decide its good enough you can come in tomorrow and start creating it.

*Wtf kind of place is this, are you mentally retarded? You have a IT staff of 3 people, in which only the actual fulltime intern is a qualified IT professional, but when me or him tries to do some actual work, you give us shit about doing what was asked from us*

So, company I work at, is on desperate need of PHP developers, who can work in WordPress and Magneto. Company announced vacancy.

Only 20 CVs were dropped 4 days before from today. So company called all of them for interview and I was one of the interviewer. Most of applicants told me that they know Laravel but not WordPress.

I was like fine. Maybe they can work on WordPress too. But I was wrong. Here are some funny interviews:

Me: how many types of inheritance does PHP support?
Applicant 1: 7. Single, multiple, etc..

Me: Do you know difference between interface and abstract class?
Applicant 2: (he just said some gibberish)

Me: why do u prefer Laravel to WordPress?
Applicant 3: because by default Laravel support payment gateway, so we can create e commerce application faster. WordPress doesn't support payment gateway.

Me: how many WordPress site you have worked on?
Applicant 4: I have 4 themes in WordPress.org
Me: Do you create all of them by yourself?
Applicant 4: Yes
Me: Do u know difference between require and include?
Applicant 4: No
Me: Do u know difference between query_posts and WP_Query?
Applicant 4: No
Me: (facepalm)

Me: *wrote a detailed resume with my responsibilities, achievements, and showcase some of my projects in each work history*

Clueless interviewer: Can you tell me more about your work history?

Me: *happily walks him through my resume*

Clueless interviewer: all good! You pass the prescreening interview. Here’s an “assessment” that will require you to record yourself in a video answering the same questions I asked you. Also please submit the .mp4 file before your initial interview tomorrow where you will answer the same questions again.

Me: …

Why these HRs and outsourcing companies love to waste the applicants time? Apparently the prescreening, initial, and video interview with these HRs are fucking different. Just let me talk to the company your representing, have them give me a technical exam and move on from there??? Jaysus

What the hell is with startup CTOs thinking dev applicants are willing to do an "8 to 10 hour" take home coding test before even a first in person interview?! Seriously?

How common is it for development job applicants to lie about their skillsets and experience?

Had an applicant come interview for a senior software engineer role, has been in the same company for 8 years and his resume is sprayed with almost every tech speciality and language there is, claims to be proficient in 8+ languages, done AWS server migrations, built CI/CD pipelines from scratch, written CloudFormation scripts, built microservices, worked with AWS services and serverless platforms, has managed a team, does salary and performance reviews

My gut feeling is when someone claims to have knowledge and experience across multiple specialities, they’re skills in any of those domains are only skin deep

So here goes my first rant...

I was looking for a job as a software developer when I saw one nice company hiring.

I apply to them via their form online. Then they invite me to come to their event during which they will explain everything in details.

I go there (despite the time of the event being uncomfortable for me) and listen to them for a while. Basically, they say they will send the test task to all applicants and see how it goes.

Later same day they email me saying they didn't get my CV via their form and they need me to resend it so they can send the test task. Alright, no big deal, done.

Now today they email me saying "sorry, motherfucker, better luck next time".

What the actual fuck? I spend my fucking time to go to some shitty event saying a test task will decide everything to not even get one.

So, naturally, I go and re-check my email: I definitely did send them my CV;
seems like they ignored the email and eliminated me from the application process for not having my CV, fuckers.

If they will ever in the future invite me to an interview/offer me a job there, I won't take for fucking triple pay.

Thanks for reading and helping me vent my anger, have a nice day:)

This isn't a funny rant or story. It's one of becoming increasingly unsure of the career choices I've made the path they've led me down. And it's written with terrible punctuation and grammar, because it's a cathartic post. I swear I'm a better writer than this.

The highlights:
- I left a low-paying incredibly stable job with room to grow (think specialized office worker at a uni) to become a QA tester at a AAA game studio, after growing bored with the job and letting my productivity and sometimes even attendance slip
- I left AAA studio after having been promoted through the ranks to leading an embedded test tools development team where we automated testing the game (we got to create bots, basically!) and the database, and building some of the most requested tools internally to the company; but we were paid as if we were QA testers, not engineers, and were told that wouldn't change; rather than move over or up, I moved out to a better paying, less fabulous web and tools development job for a no-name company
- No-name company offered one or two days remote, was salaried, and close to home. CTO was a fan of long lunches and Quake 3 Arena 1-2 hours at the end of every day. CTO position was removed, I got a lot of his responsibilities, none of his pay, and started freelancing to learn new skills rather than deal with the CFO being my boss.
- Went to work as a freelancer for an email marketing SaaS provider my previous job had used. Made loads of money, dealt with an old, crappy code base, an old, cranky senior dev, and an owner who ran around like the world was on fire 24/7; but I worked without pants, bought a car, a house, had a kid, etc;

Now during ALL of this, I was teaching game dev as an adjunct at my former uni. This past fall, I went full time as a professor in game dev. I took a huge pay cut, but got a steady schedule (semester to semester anyway) and great benefits. I for once chose what I thought was the job I wanted over more money and something that was just "different". And honestly, I've regretted it so much. My peer / diagonally above me coworker feels untrustworthy half the time and teaches the majority of the programming courses when he's a designer and I've been the game programming professor for 8 years (I also teach non-game programming courses, but those just got folded into the games program...); I hate full-time uni politics; I'm struggling with money for my family; and I am in the car all the time it feels like. I could probably go back to my last job, which had some benefits, but nowhere near as good; my wife doesn't want me back to working in the house all the time because that was a struggle unto itself once we had a kid (for all of us, in different ways); and I have now less than 24 hours to tell my university I want to not pursue longer term contracts for full-time and go back to adjunct next Fall (or walk away entirely), or risk burning a bridge (we are reviewing applicants for next year tomorrow, including my own) by bailing out mid-application process.

I'm not sure I'm asking for advice. I'm really just ranting, I guess. Some people I know would kill to have the opportunities I have. I just feel like each job choice led me further away from a job I liked, towards more money, which was a tradeoff that worked out mostly, but now I feel like I don't have either, and I'm trapped due to healthcare and 401k and such. Sure, I like working more with my students and have been able to really support them in their endeavors this semester, but... that's their lives. Not mine. The wife thinks I should stay at the university and we'll figure out money eventually (we are literally sinking into debt, it's not going well at all), while most people think I should leave, make money, and figure out the happiness factor once my finances are back on track and the kid is old enough to be in school.

And I have less than 24 hours it feels like to make a momentous decision.

Yay. Thanks for reading :)

I interviewed for a Lead role at a popular energy producing company last week. The fucking retard that was interviewing me was multi tasking and only asked me a few questions. It was as if he was forced to do it. He came late and couldnt even introduce himself. He just started asking questions.

After about 2-3 questions, he asked me to tell him my current salary and my salary expectations. I told him to go fuck himself for the former and said i was open to negotiations for the latter. We said our goodbyes afterwards and the interview was terminated. The easiest I have done in a long time.

Fast forward to last friday, I received a call from someone in HR. She offered £60k. I couldn't believe what I heard, so I asked her to repeat the offer. She replied in the affirmative, £60k! I refused and told her I was hoping for £100k because that's like the average for the position I applied for. I could literally hear her gasp with shock when I said that. She replied by saying that's the kind of salary we pay people 2 levels above the one you have applied for! What the fuck I said to myself. Is your company that poor was all I could think of??? I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I told her to go and see if they can come back with an improved offer.

She sent me a mail this morning saying the best they can do is £75k. Oh no, for your troubles and mine, can you talk to HR and let them raise it £95k was my reply to her. She replied moments later, No. £75k is the final offer. C'mon, I presently earn more than that. I only want to leave my current company for new challenges.

Moral of the story: Politely ask for the salary range for the role you are applying for at the early stages. It saves both the employer and applicants having to go through an interview process only to be disappointed at the end.

Lying recruiters really make my shit itch.

A couple of months ago a recruiter got in touch on linked in as he’d seen my cv on Indeed or somewhere.

He asks what I’m looking for and I tell him I want to move to a more development focused role rather than mosh mash of support, admin and Dev that I do at the moment.

He’s says he’s got just the role at a fairly local software company, and that the role would be at least 90% development blah blah blah.

So I set up a video call, and it immediately becomes clear that they want someone to do support/admin who might get to do a tiny bit of dev (they mainly asked about my experience with HTML) and I could tell they lost interest when I said I was more interested in backend development etc.

They didn’t want to progress the application as I wasn’t what they were looking for, which is fair enough they weren’t what I was looking for either.

But, do recruiters intentionally set out to lie to applicants about what a job is/entails or do they either get duff info from clients, or just not understand the job specs they are given?

I mean it wasted my lunch break (not including calls with the recruiter) and an hour of time for the CEO and Dev from the company.

!rant
So my boss told me they will be interviewing applicants and he wants me to come with.

Reading posts here on devRant has enlightened me on what NOT to ask on interviews.

But what questions should i ask then?? Any tips for me? First time sitting on the other end of the table.

Applicant: I have 7 years of experience in software development industry and here is my repo/portfolio for you to look at.

Manager: I don't need it. Take the 5 hours coding exam.

*Applicant scores low

Manager: You didn't score high. Thank for applying at Stack****. Goodbye

Applicant: Wait, sorry but do you judge all applicants only through an exam?

Manager: Yes. Exam tells how expert the applicant is.

Currently a lower manager (I lead a team but I report to a handful of uppers). In my line of work the holiday season means more work instead of vacation. My team consists of 4 other guys, 2 of which aren't worth their weight in shit, 1 guy who's leaving for the military soon, and 1 guy who's just okay. The first 2 are about to be fired for any number of reasons, and there's no plans to hire anyone else. The lady in charge of hiring is incompetent; should've been hiring anyways for the past several months and hasn't (not due to a lack of applicants either).

I consider myself the hardest worker of the team, and one of the best in the whole place. Well, instead of being rewarded with even so much as a peptalk, my superiors have seen fit to tell me that I'm not doing enough. Like holy shit really? Are they taking credit for my work or are they just retarded? Track record at this place isn't all that great to begin with. I'm not in a position to leave as I need the money to put myself through college, but I'm thinking about hopping on the minimum effort squad at this point.

I am not sure if devrant is the best place to post this so sorry if it is not.

How far do employers/recruiters go when searching online information about their applicants?

Do they simply check your fb? simple google search your name? advanced queries with multiple search engines? data gathering software like maltego? or really check and link leaked db dumps and pastebins?

If anyone has any knowledge or experience with this I would love to hear.

Thanks in advance

So I guess, I'm a technical recruiter, part of the screening process, now, for Java applicants. Yay or Nay? I'm not sure if I should be happy or not, because I hate Java and Oracle

Good recruiters do not ask who are the other companies or recruiters who contacted you.

Good recruiters understand that potential applicants have greater needs than purely monetary compensation in their offers.

Good recruiters do not threaten you with a hard deadline to decide whether or not you'll accept their offer.

Good recruiters do not ask for referrals if you turn them down.

I've yet to meet a good recruiter.

Anybody know any good .net web devs in Sydney? I'm sick of reading seek and LinkedIn resumes where 95% of the applicants have a phone number starting with +91 and are skilled in "user testing and SAP".

I mean, what are they expecting? "Absolutely sir, we will mail you a first class plane ticket right now for your interview! Oh .net was just a suggestion, you can code in COBOL if you prefer. And don't worry about that pesky working Visa, we can pay cash!"

HOD keeps coaching me in regards to my new role as a manager for my institution. I really like it, the man has a lot of knowledge and would show me stuff that not only deals with my job, but his as well. Thus far everything has been working rather smoothly, mind you, i have been acting manager for more than 6 months thus far, but they just made it official after our vp conaidered that most of the applicants for the manager role were not as qualified as I was, kinda had the advantage since I wrote the job requirements.

All in all it has been fun, stressing, but fun.

Shady business practices. You see a lot of stories of people getting fucked over on here. Companies giving applicants a "coding test" to get work done for free, or guys promising to pay when the work is done(and then bailing), deserve to be thrown screaming from helicopters.

Some quick advice for people starting out:

1. If it's important, get it in writing. Promises are worth precisely dick, unless it's legally binding.

2. Exercise caution in interviews. The shadier companies know a lot of applicants are desperate, and they take advantage of that fact if they're allowed to.

Not sure if I'm rambling at this point, but fuck it. 🤣

Dear Recruiter,

I know you are trying to find the best employees for your company and are working very hard at it, but if you want the best results please be accurate about the posting. Do not put a job as Entry-level if the position requires 7+ years of experience. That is a senior level job. You will lose respect from those that have the experience and discourage all of the entry-level applicants from applying

Regards
An Entry level employee

I hate websites like upwork and freelancer, its impossible to outbid the other applicants while maintaining a price that makes the work worth the trouble. Yet without them its impossible to find clients who are willing to pay $1k for anything no matter how big of a project it is, they keep looking for $200 solutions. Hows a developer supposed to raise some cash for a house and shit like that.

Murder the other applicants.

If you can't just do that, hit up your friends and colleagues for connections into companies. That's the easiest way to get a job, I find.

My manager is apperently turning down applicants for the position of front end developer (the job I applied for, they made me backend developer). I just sit here wondering what he bases that decision of since the man can hardly use a computer. Job posting has been online for almost 10 months now.

But yeah, I'd rather have no collegae then an incompetent one. I also suspect they just posted the opening to keep me from taking vacation days.

I worked at my previous job about 8 years (hired out of school) and wasn't actively looking for a new one; I had a lot of freedom and liked my boss and colleagues, but the pay was mediocre and I was under a lot of pressure because I was the sole architect, engineer, and programmer for a good number of important applications.

Anyway, my brother-in-law told me that his employer was looking for a developer and that previous candidates fell through, and that the pay was a lot more and they're good about raises (which was like pulling teeth at my then-current job) so I applied and went for an interview.

They basically gave me an offer on the spot and wanted me to start in 2 weeks. I told them that it would be hard since I'd basically be cutting my boss's Achilles by leaving so soon and suddenly (just hiring someone would take at least a month, not counting getting applicants), but they were adamant, as the position had been vacant for a few months at that point. I got them to agree to 3 weeks and pulled the trigger, but offered to help out in my old position for a few months cause we had a big project in progress I was leading.

So the new job is great: it's a much younger office and I'm having more fun and there's a lot less pressure. Meanwhile, at the old job, the project I was leading got scrapped and the asked me to do other odds and ends until, after screwing something up I basically told them I'm done. They got a new guy quickly due to a lucky turn of events, but he couldn't pick up where I left off on a lot of projects: they're going to rewrite one because of it. My one colleague still likes to point out that I left without them having knowledge of my code (besides that I always said I'd answer questions, plus it's been 6 months now and my code is all on a TFS instance they all have access to).

I still feel a bit guilty even though I have no reason to.

Hi fellow devs, I have a question for you.
Do you think asking questions like (related to JS):
- What is the type of null?
- What is the result of 0,1 + 0,2 (0,30004)
- and other JS specifics

in a job Interview for a Junior position is the right thing to sort out applicants?
I have several years of programming experience, just not in JS, and got rejected because I couldn’t answer these questions. Feels kinda weird😅 What’s your opinion?

I was told recently by a recruiter that not having a LinkedIn profile in the modern age of job applications is like being invisible, as that’s the first place recruiters and HR managers look to research interesting applicants beyond their cover letters and resumes.

While I admit that I somewhat resent the notion that it’s a “must have,” I’ll also admit that my current job searches sans profile have proven to be somewhat less than fruitful. Though that could be for any number of other reasons as well.

Is there any legitimacy to her claim? Are people applying to jobs while not on LinkedIn essentially ghosts? I’d very much appreciate your insights.

I need help for a dev test.

So the company that I work at is hiring a couple of new devs and they’ve put me in charge for test in order to see if the applicants are any good.
When I was hired there were no tests so I don’t have that many ideas for a good one.

Have you guys any good recommendations for a test or what it could consist of?

I’m thinking of having multiple small tests so if one misunderstands the task it’s not the whole test they fail. Would that be a good idea or not?

It’s for senior and junior web developer.

Any idea is greatly appreciated 😀

In an interview they said that they like you but there are still other applicants so they have no answer to it yet and told you that you should wait for 2 to 3 weeks upon following up.. the next day you check the companies website and they have taken down the job posting.. should you still hope or should you move on..???

At a FIFTH interview call and waiting.
Scheduled at 4pm, just got to know the HR himself is in a fucking meeting. So procedure would resume at 5pm. Like seriously?
Why do these big corps not give a fuck about applicants' time. Why schedule at 4pm in the first place.
Also scheduling at 4pm so I miss another work day at my current company...
No value for our time :(

Be confident
use buzzwords
know your shit.

So many applicants I've interviewed only tick the first two boxes.

Also, remember you are interviewing them as much as they are interviewing you.

I have several tasks in my job. Not all of them are straight up dev, some are also student related. Since my coworker left I was rediculously overbudened, simply because the tasks I have to do are sooo far appart from one anothet. After talking to my boss, we get to hire some people to help (big yay!) But now it is upon me to write the recruitment adds so to speak and also talk to the people and interview them. What the heck I have no clue about this whatsoever xD i mean, i kinda feel honoured that my boss trusts me enough to do a pre selection for her. But damn. .-. I'm barely older then the applicants (it's all at uni and I'm a student and so are they)
Anyone got tips for interviews? I dont need them to do dev work. More like working with kids and presentation prep and support.

Question for the hiring managers out there: When reviewing applications for an open role, what specifically stands out to you about an applicant? (Assuming that the ATS gods don't just automatically filter the application out.)

Is it their achievements at previous companies? (Ex. Boosted ARR by 200% or decreased monthly churn by 30%)
Is it their career trajectory?
Is it their resume writing abilities?
Is it their education/certification credentials?
Is there some degree of "brand shopping" involved? For example, does seeing an average resume from a former Google employee with 2 YOE get you more excited than a well-written resume from a candidate with 7 YOE who worked at a lesser-known company?

I suppose much of this depends on the role and its needs.

Just given the market right now, I'm curious how hiring managers are making selections from their undoubtedly vast pool of candidates. I've heard that almost any job positing now is getting 500+ applicants within the hour, but with the caveat that 490 of those 500 applicants are completely unqualified (Like a Shift Manager at Chipotle who worked an IT help desk summer internship applying for a Senior Software Engineer role.)

Ultimately, what aspects of an applicant combined with their background and resume makes you say "Wow, this might be the one" while reviewing applications for a role?

in job application mode; getting really tired of entry level positions wanting 3+ years of experience.

Given that a) no one I have seen with this much experience wants these positions, b) HR says they are getting applicants with this much experience, I can only assume two things:

1: People lie on their resumes.
or
2: The job market is far more saturated with good applicants than I thought.

Either way, frustrating.

Between me and my next cool job was a stupid quiz that I didn't think will contain "text book" material that I haven't cared about since I finished school, I understand that they need to filter applicants but seriously!

Anyway I guess it is time to read about all those interview and quiz questions as it cannot be deciding my future!

Interviewing other devs (for job placement) totally sucks. I never realized what a shitty process hiring people can be.

More than half of the applicants are totally unqualified (good fucking job TekSystems), and those who are seem to be only *just* qualified enough, or have really bizarre portfolios and personalities. I'm glad I'm not in HR.

ColdFusion and ZKOSS framework documentation has been my reading for this first week at the new job.

The nervousness and anxiety is starting to settle down but won't be gone for a while I think. I'm excited and eager to start actually working on our product to both prove my worth (after being selected over 40 or so other applicants) and calm the hell down about my competence.

This more how I got back into dev.

I made a mistake and got out of dev for a year or so. What hooked me back in was hearing our C# lead missing that no applicants were passing his C# screening test. I'd never written a line of C# in my life but I had done C++ and Java, so I gave it a go, and apart from one small issue, he said my attempt was the best he'd seen in that recruitment drive. So I started picking up tickets and the rest is history.

The one small issue was doing `if (something == false)` instead of `if (!something)`. Where I work now the C# style guide actually recommends the former!