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Unofficial devRant Racing Team in Forza Motorsport 7 basing on Ford Falcon in Supercars series - probably most geeky racing team ever!
12 -
This is how I feel most of my client proposal start:
* It's simple, I'd like to re-invent <the wheel>.
* All I want to do is use <rocketship engine> on <old typewriter>.
* I'm too cheap to hire a full-time < DBA, DevOps engineer, development team>. Can I pay you pennies?
* I'm poor and broke, can you do this for free?
* I'd like to <commit illegal act> and be <legal compliant standard>.
* I heard it was possible to <fly 30 people to the moon> using <Ford Model-T>. Please do this for us.
* I <sold my house>, but now <I'm locked out by the new owners>. Please help.11 -
Sending a well typed professional email to your boss, but receiving a:
Sure thing
Dave
Sent from my iPhone9 -
Being a software developer automatically qualifies you to fix paper jams and wi-fi issues in the eyes of your family.5
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!dev
Nearly had a crash today driving home and almost had a heart attack. Apparently my car had the heart attack for me and started doing. A speaker test.
So I'm contemplating what just happened and my car's speakers start going BEEEEP BEEEP BOOOOOOOOOOOOP (Subwoofer).
Then the radio came on and switched to a Spanish station.
I looked it up, apparently I had entered diagnostic mode on the infotainment system when I was fiddling with the wheel buttons as a stress relief.
Long story short, the diagnostic mode informed me that my car runs Windows ME!
I would like a new car please, kthxbye.6 -
I like it when a boss is a Dev (or a former Dev). Makes them a bit more sympathetic towards us i think :)2
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Programmer's son asks his father:
Dad, why do the sun rises on the east and sets on the west ?
Father: It works ! Do not dare to touch it.4 -
/* secret devRant script */
let joke = "why do Java developers wear glasses? Because they can't C#"
//check if rant was posted recently
if ( !recentRants.find(joke) ) {
postRant(joke)
}4 -
I love the skill requirements section of a junior Dev job advertisement.
To summarise "Basically you'll need all the skills and experience of a senior, but we are gonna pay you much much less". 😔1 -
Programming Languages are Like Cars:
Assembler: A formula I race car. Very fast but difficult to drive and maintain.
FORTRAN II: A Model T Ford. Once it was the king of the road.
FORTRAN IV: A Model A Ford.
FORTRAN 77: a six-cylinder Ford Fairlane with standard transmission and no seat belts.
COBOL: A delivery van. It's bulky and ugly but it does the work.
BASIC: A second-hand Rambler with a rebuilt engine and patched upholstery. Your dad bought it for you to learn to drive. You'll ditch it as soon as you can afford a new one.
PL/I: A Cadillac convertible with automatic transmission, a two-tone paint job, white-wall tires, chrome exhaust pipes, and fuzzy dice hanging in the windshield.
C++: A black Firebird, the all macho car. Comes with optional seatbelt (lint) and optional fuzz buster (escape to assembler).
ALGOL 60: An Austin Mini. Boy that's a small car.
ALGOL 68: An Aston Martin. An impressive car but not just anyone can drive it.
Pascal: A Volkswagon Beetle. It's small but sturdy. Was once popular with intellectual types.
liSP: An electric car. It's simple but slow. Seat belts are not available.
PROLOG/LUCID: Prototype concept cars.
FORTH: A go-cart.
LOGO: A kiddie's replica of a Rolls Royce. Comes with a real engine and a working horn.
APL: A double-decker bus. It takes rows and columns of passengers to the same place all at the same time but it drives only in reverse and is instrumented in Greek.
Ada: An army-green Mercedes-Benz staff car. Power steering, power brakes, and automatic transmission are standard. No other colors or options are available. If it's good enough for generals, it's good enough for you.
Java: All-terrain very slow vehicle.10 -
Giving functions exciting names so you can feel like a Bond villain while programming:
execute(); destroy(); fire(); isDead();6 -
When someone comes to your desk and asks "did you get my slack message".... Which they sent 23 seconds ago 😒4
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So I finished uni three weeks ago. Interview for a my first junior web developer position a week ago.
Received news yesterday that I got the job. It’s been a good couple weeks I’d say.3 -
Once Upon a Time.........
Three database SQL walked into a NoSQL bar.
A little while later they walked out Because they could not find a table.1 -
I decided to fix my car after car mechanic gave up... The backlight was blinking even the car was locked and turned off in the parking. Took me 4 days to figure it out. What I realised is that we are pushing tech to places where tech and electronics shouldn't be... My next car will be 1972 ford c, it doesn't have any of these modern problems.
14 -
My girlfriend told me to take the spider out instead of killing it.
We went and had some drinks.Cool guy. Wants to be a web developer.3 -
Programming on a train is always interesting. I expect a minimum of one dirty/confused look off a member of the public.2
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Curious did any of you have a specific reason to learn how to program?
I wanted to be involved in aerospace but realised I'd probably never be an Astronaut, but i could learn how to write the software that controls the spacecrafts!12 -
Are any of you guys sentimental about your early programming efforts? I still have my first few simple Python programs on my computer, from years ago!
print("hello world")8 -
Newscaster on Tv:
"Apple won patent case against Samaung"
Me:
"Thank God! Apple doesn't have Wheel patent or there would be no Ford or Mercedes ... "2 -
Client is A BIG corporation
Client want an large app and has its own ui guidelines
Client sends design
Client doesn't follow its own guidelines......1 -
Phone rings...
'I'm calling about the car accident you had recently that wasn't your fault.'
Me: 'Yup, ok. I'm surprised at how quickly you got through!'
Them: 'Could you tell me when the accident was?'
Me: 'This morning before work'
Them: 'And whereabouts did this happen?'
Me: 'My living room'
Them: 'That's strange. Were you driving at the time?'
Me: 'No, I was on foot, I generally am in my living room.'
Them: 'Were you injured?'
Me: 'I sustained some pain in my foot'
Them: 'So you were hit by a car? Do you remember the make and model?'
Me: 'Yes, it was a red Ford, but I'm not sure which model.'
Them: 'Did you get the registration number?'
Me: 'I'm not sure it had one. The car was quite small'
Them: 'Did you get the driver's name?'
Me: 'It was James Jones'
Them: 'Could you describe the driver?'
Me: 'About two foot tall, blonde hair, green top, dungarees'.
Them: 'Did you know the driver?'
Me: 'Yes, he's my two year old son'
Them: ...(click)... -
Do you guys ever feel like you lose the ability to be objective about your own work. I've looked at my website for so long now, I don't know if I think it's good or not...5
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Man collapses in the street, his wife "help, we need a doctor".
Dev speaks up "I did recently move to a standing desk"1 -
A very cool overview of several recent studies of the COVID 19 pandemic on software developers. Taken from "A Tale of Two Cities: Software Developers Working from Home During the COVID-19 Pandemic" by D. Ford, M.-A. Storey, T. Zimmermann, C. Bird, S. Jaffe, C. Maddila, J. Butler, B. Houck, and N. Nagappan. https://arxiv.org/pdf/...
3 -
body {
overflow-x: hidden;
}
is a bit like trying to fix a broken arm by wearing a long sleeve shirt 😅 -
Are people using Vim doing it for the sake of it? Is there such a thing as a Vim hipster?
I mean, nano is just nicer 😇15 -
Quickly coming to the terms with the fact that software development inside companies is just the perpetual motion of putting out fires as quickly as possible just so customers can still be ignorant cunts.
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Having a fantastically shitty day and it’s currently only 08:05.
Last night spent the entire evening moving into my flat and building the colossal amount of Ikea furniture, ended up going sleep around 3am.
Because of my fabulous two and a half hour work commute to work everyday I have to leave my house at 6am. Three hours sleep? Excellent start.
Leave my house at 6am good start, manage to get on my first bus no problem, bus driver being the horrendous cunt he is slams on his brakes because going round a sharp corner at 40 mph when the speed limit is 20mph is a fucking brilliant idea you cunt, consequently it sends my protein shake all over me, my clothes and my laptop. Cheers cunt.
So now it’s half 7 and I’m at the train station & I realise I’ve left my wallet at home. You’ve. Got. To. Be. Fucking. Me.
8 o clock roles over train inductor comes round asking for tickets and the power hungry scrotum drops a £60 fine on me. Cheers. You. Cunt.
So now I’m wondering whether I should just save myself the hassle get off the train at the next stop and jump in front of an incoming train.
Today can suck a fat meaty fiery cock from hell. -
Service's like freelance and people per hour are a farce. It's just a constant race to the bottom price-wise.
'Yeah sure I can make you a blog website in 24 hours for £5' -
Ford vs Ferrari shows everything wrong with upper management. They are a bunch egoistic pricks in suits who have nothing better to do than play office politics and take credit for the hard work of people under them.
One of the best movie I have ever seen. Made me wanna smell some oil and grease.1 -
The first 30 minutes of a working day often consist of me saying, "who broke this then?" Then a liberal use of git blame.
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I love how our industry has invented such important sounding yet meaningless job titles...
Developer, software engineer, software architect, developer evangelist, dev ops engineer, systems analyst, quality assurance engineer, code monkey...4 -
Desk fans whirling. Sweating co-workers. An extra short stand-up.
That's right, the English summer has arrived.1 -
I don't know why... But I cringe when somebody says "coding", "coder". Maybe it's because it's an Americanism...1
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In one session 36 hours. I lost someone close to me and I kinda didn't leave my office for any form of social interaction for three weeks.
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High school robotics team. Total of three programmers and one coach who understands programming concepts, but not syntax or anything. One programmer, putting it bluntly, is incompetent and doesn't even bother to learn anything. The other one that isn't me is apparently fucking lead programmer and team leader (IM A SENIOR. SHES A FUCKING SOPHOMORE. WTF.) and she has done about 5% of the programming this year. I've done the rest with the help of a programmer from Ford whom we bring in. All she does is tell you to do shit for her, and if you don't, she pulls the authority card on you.
And I have maybe three days, after a full day of school mind you, until I need almost every part working on the robot code. Fuck me.1 -
In programming world there is lot of stuff to learn and there is lot to great developers in the world after seeing code and project's of these developers I feel I am very weak in coding currently my confident is quite low cause I cannot make a simple project by my self without seeing a project tutorial video and I don't know how do I improve my dev skills and I feel stuck any suggestions?15
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Approaching the end of my first week as a junior web dev.
Spent the week writing automatic web suite tasks for an entire e-commerce platform.
Arguable the best way I could have been introduced to the code base 10/10 would recommend. -
There are few things I hate more in software development than writing mappings from shitty SOAP apis to JSON.2
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Found myself in a career predicament.
I’m currently working at a tech startup and it really does have the potential to really take off.
But recently the CEO has taken compressed working and remote working off the table for the most part which at this stage in my life is quite important.
Today I was offered a position at a different company with 4/5 days a week with a 10% pay increase.
Now the time has come to make a decision and I really don’t know what to do because I’m pretty sure the worst thing for me to do is make the wrong choice and end up kicking myself in a years time.
Was wondering if any of y’all have had to make a similar choice in your career7 -
Came to the realisation that I wasted three years in uni, today my final grades were released - for those who give a shit I got a first
I was happy till I realised I got my dev position without them even knowing my final grade.3 -
http://bloomberg.com/graphics/...
Re-reading this article today and still amaze me how someone can resume such a vast world of concepts. A must read -
Back when I was at uni, we had this group project based on data security.
At the first sit down meeting we had as a team, this one guy sat down and said "to be honest guys I'd be happy with a pass (40-50%) for this module"...
Well great.2 -
I knew I wanted to be a Dev ever since I discovered that the Apollo missions, used a flight computer less powerful than a average mobile phone.
If they could put a man on the moon with that, imagine what I could do now... -
Dreading the end of this bank holiday weekend, tomorrow I must wake up and return to working with legacy code.
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Recently many of us may have seen that viral image of a BSOD in a Ford car, saying the vehicle cannot be driven due to an update failure.
I haven't been able to verify the story in established news sources, so I won't be further commenting on it, specifically.
But the prospects of the very concept are quite... concerning.
Deploying updates and patches to software can be reasonably called *the software industry*. We almost have no V0 software in production nowadays, anywhere (except for some types of firmware).
Thus, as car and other devices become more and more reliant on larger software rather than much shorter onboard firmware, infrastructure for online updates becomes mandatory.
And large scale, major updates for deployed software on many different runtime environments can be messy even on the most stable situations and connections (even k8s makes available rolling updates with tests on cloud infrastructure, so the whole thing won't come crashing down).
Thereby, an update mess on automotive-OS software is a given, we just have to wait for it.
When it comes... it will be a mess. Auto manufacturers will adopt a "move fast and break things" approach, because those who don't will appear to be outcompeted by those who deploy lots of shiny things, very often.
It will lead to mass outages on otherwise dependable transportation - private transportation.
Car owners, the demographic that most strongly overlaps with every other powerful demographic, will put significant pressure on governments to do something about it.
Governments (and I might be wrong here) will likely adapt existing recall implementation laws to apply to automotive OS software updates.
That means having to go to the auto shop every time there is a software update.
If Windows may be used as a reference for update frequency, that means several times per day.
A more reasonable expectation would be once per month.
Still completely impossible for large groups of rural car owners.
That means industry instability due to regulation and shifting demographics, and that could as well affect the rest of the software industry (because laws are pesky like that, rules that apply to cars could easily be used to reign in cloud computing software).
Thus... Please, someone tells me I overlooked something or that I am underestimating the adaptability of the powers at play, because it seems like a storm is on the horizon, straight ahead.6 -
-Recently started a new job so I’m new to the infrastructure-
Spent the vast majority of the day trying to SSH into one of my company servers to sort some random bug out on the website & the connection kept being rejected despite the day before it working when passing the .pem key into the SSH along with the ip & my username, nothing new there.
Anyway, everyone’s mad busy so I don’t wanna bother anyone to ask why, so I check confluence, no documentation for SSHING into our scheduler or the code the server I need to access. Never-mind.
Spend another couple hours trying debug it on my own, no luck. Never-mind.
Finally seize my opportunity and ask for help; ‘Oh the server IP changes daily so you need to run a task through our scheduler that you need to SSH into to return the list of IPS and that dynamically changes so that’s how you get the IP’
Oh ok. Why is there no documentation for that again? I mean. Thats generally some pretty important information you’d pass onto your starters.
At least I can say I won’t be making that same mistake again.5 -
Really interesting video by FunFunFunction https://youtu.be/J9OpTNk0hYc.
"Does a developer need to be nice". How many times have you guys been made to feel stupid for asking a question or for getting something wrong?2 -
I am aiming for google, I have some questions regarding to interview process, I choose to proficient myself into development world and data structure and algorithms, But I have almost 0 skills in competitive programming and I don't have any ranking all competitive programming platforms but I really want to work for google, How do I fulfill my goal to work for google and how do I clear google interview process?2
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I’m done with people who claim they don’t have time to do something.
Constantly hearing people complain they don’t have time to do things, oh fuck off you cunt. You work a nine to five, you get home at half five and you sit at home doing fuck all while you complain that things aren’t going your way.
Doesn’t even have to be about developing, lost count with the amount of people who claim they don’t have time to go the gym. Dickhead, you have a 24 hour gym three minutes away from your house. You could go after work, instead you’ll sit on your ass, eat a load shit and then complain you’ve put on weight.
If you’re doing fuck all to make things happen then you lose the right to complain about your circumstances. Stop blaming other people for your fuck ups because you ‘don’t have time’ to get shit done you absolutely holocaust of a human being.
While I’m at, fuck people who think it’s my soul mission in life to fix their shit, believe it or not I don’t give two flying fucks about your circumstances if you’re doing fuck all to help yourself.
Do me a favour and kindly drink some bleach.13 -
recently i discovered edmonds-karp implementation of ford-fulkersion method (to solve my coursework problem) and i can't get over how beautifully it works!
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Hey! I want to create a note app where multiple user can work on same note in real time. I want anybody can become my partner into this project this is my github link.
https://github.com/priyanshuSharma-...
Tech stack-
MERN10 -
Pressing the provisioning profiles "fix this issue" button in Xcode... And getting roasted for being a noob by the entire office.1
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having a DSA interview in 2 days, any suggestions on how/what to prepare?
its been years since i tried solving coding problems with anything apart from strings or arrays( and that too the one we use in dev, like writing a function to convert string to uppercase, that's all i remember)
There are a million algorithms: knapsac, djikstra, DFS BFS, bellman ford, TRIE, BST, quick sort, merge sort, insertion , binary search... these are some buzz words i could remember from my early college days, 6 years ago. I was able to understand and learn them at that time, but now i know shit about them :/
How to go with all of these in 48 hours?6 -
CPP, python, javascript
Which one is best to learn DSA?
I'm really confused which one should I choose?8 -
I have question related to hardware -
I recently order a M.2 SSD on amazon but I don't know is it compatible or not with my system and I order it can anybody help me I am really apricate it.
My SSD link on amazon -
https://amazon.in/gp/product/...
My system link -
https://amazon.in/Lenovo-Ideapad-33...
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