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Spend half an hour finding music to listen to while I code; Pause it after 30 seconds to concentrate on refactoring. Stays paused for rest of day.
Really getting the most out of those expensive new headphones.35 -
Starting of my final year of engineering.....
Every other guy is busy thinking about the final year project....
Suddenly I herd some random female friend turning the world upside down...
"We will develope Linux using ubuntu language"...
I no more believe in humanity....33 -
programming languages are not designed to talk to computers, they are designed to be readable by other programmers.
please code like it.7 -
devRant, the only positive and supportive online community for programmers.
until you mention an OS.
then all bets are off.16 -
dad: what the hell do you do again?
me 1st time asked: I'm a back end web developer, i write the code you don't see that makes things you do see work.
me 90,000th time: internet stuff.
me 83,881,178th time: computers!4 -
There is no shame in using google to program.
'Back in the day' we had phonebook sized books of documentation on our desks we would reference constantly.
Why?
No one is going to memorize a phone book sized book. Not to mention three or four of them.
Being a good dev is about creativity, not memorization.12 -
When you get a day off and you want to work on a personal project, but your spouse has other plans.
8 -
I can't watch others use a computer.
That's not how you ask google a question.
You're clicking the wrong way.
You click like an idiot.
Why are you scrolling like that? do you hate moving down the page so mutch it makes you scroll like that?
Why am i forced to sit through this?
When will this end?13 -
Got some swag in the mail today.
I was told I could get a refund for the hat if it was too small. I literally have the biggest head in the world and it fits me fine.
For those who complained, did you try taking it off and on again?
6 -
interviewer: What can you tell us about the Unity 3D engine?
me: well, i can tell you that there is no such thing. the engine is called Unity. Unity3d.com is just the website. it's a good way of telling if someone doesn't know what they are talking about.
interviewer:😐....9 -
devRant is a place to rant. Not a journal of best practices.
Can I just rant without giving a long winded backstory?
Do I have to explain myself to prevent people from commenting that the problem must be me?
If you read a rant, and you can't relate to it sympathetically.
Move along! That rant is not for you!
When people are trying to vent no one wants to see your snippy little comment about how 'unprofessional' they are being.8 -
client: the math on this investment calculator you made is wrong.
me: ok, how is it wrong?
client: one of our salesmen sais it not calculating correctly.
me: that's fine. i just need an example, or the corrected formula to use.
client: on this other website we put in the same information and it comes out different.
me: ok, let me investigate... this other site adds a fee every month so the output is different. If i turn that off the calculations are the same. would you like to add a monthly fee field?
clients: no, the calculator is working how we want then.
repeat 5 times at 3 month intervals.
client: the interest calculator is broken again. didn't we just fix it?
me: it was never broken. your people just can't math.3 -
DevRant is madness
Screen shots of people installing Linux on Game consoles.
Windows on soda machines.
macOS on anything.
Madness I tell you. MADNESS!3 -
I have a lot of respect for anyone who can design a good looking website.
I can code like crazy. And I was a freelance classically trained illustrator for 10 years. But ask me to design a website and it's all spinning giffs, midi tracks, and Comic Sans. Some kind of early 90's geocities nightmare.7 -
At last, my vue module for attacking the user with a swarm of animated bees when they put in the wrong password is almost complete.
Best use of my time yet.
15 -
see you in hell mac mini, the raspberry pi is taking your place connected to the tv.
when $25 of Linux out performs $300 of apple.4 -
With the other members of the team refusing to learn git and making changes directly to the staging server i get to write the commit messages for everyone.
Log:
UPDATE: *informative details *
UPDATE: mark made some changes
UPDATE: colin made the same changes as mark but different
UPDATE: andrew undid all colins updates to change one link and I had to add them back in, thank gawd I commit the night before
BUGFIX: andrew keeps changing the database host to localhost and uploading it without changing it back
UPDATE: we all hate andrew15 -
🤠:Hello, I need a website for my professional website. But anything more than $500 is unrealistic.
Translation
🤡:I am a stupid assclown that the future will leave behind and time will forget.22 -
Pair programing on project with friend.
We both feel like the other person is doing all the work and we are not really helping.
Twice the developer power, twice the imposter syndrome.1 -
In the project management system we use with our clients I see file named, 'instructions for backup.'
I open the file and all it contains is my name and phone number.😑4 -
I sometimes look at the code of the guy who had my job before me and I think.
Delete it.
Delete it all.
Delete it with fire.
Use the developer as kindling so it never happens again.9 -
My git password is only muscle memory at this point.
If I accidentally try to think about what I'm typing I end locking myself out for the rest of the day.5 -
Interviewing front end developers with my boss.
Only skill I care about is knowing git.
HEY FRONT END DEVELOPERS!
LEARN GIT!13 -
I have a lifetime membership to Lumosity. Not just do they know my time of death, but with auto renewal turned on I have confirmation of reincarnation. At least once, then existence is null.
2 -
No amount of backend code is seen as progress by client.
Have a web store app project that is running and looking beautifully and is currently connected to nothing.
Got scolded this week for not having any new deliverables.
Spent 15 hours on security updates and database architecture.5 -
Purchase $900 laptop, it's not powerful enough so I return it and get $1,100 laptop, still not powerful enough, return it and get $1,600 laptop. Realize I have a gaming PC and don't need the laptop this powerful and I return it and repurchase the first laptop I bought with a $100 discount because it's now an opened-box, but I know for a fact that it was the one that I got in the first place and opened.
Thanks Best Buy.3 -
The learning curve for programming is more like steps than a curve.
Really tall steps.
And they go on forever.
Eventually you die. Leaving your body as a landmark for those who come after you. Unless you're completely useless. Then your body just ends up at the bottom of a gully.
The point is don't give up. Don't die in a gully. Each dead end is a wall to clime. Every plateau is just the path to the next step.5 -
@dfox
Fat avatar plz.
Not all programmers are steve jobs, some are Steve Woz.
Not proud to be fat, not claiming fat shaming.
I just want to be represented.
Not upset if this is not possible, just a suggestion.
Willing to do the art myself if you like.13 -
a U.S. company that places an order for 100,000 integrated circuits with a Japanese manufacturer. Part of the specification was the defect rate: one chip in 10,000. A few weeks later the order arrived: one large box containing thousands of ICs, and a small one containing just ten. Attached to the small box was a label that read: "These are the faulty ones."3
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Wear headphones at home office. Not because I can't play it out loud, but when you go around in Iron Maiden shirts the wife gives you a hard time about listening to J-pop.4
-
After a month of developing for VR I Shattered a light bulb by punching it as hard as I could.
Knew it would happen.
Surprised it didn't happen sooner.1 -
The facial hair devRant provides in it's profile builder are either well maintained thick growth of beard or a neatly trimmed uniform beard.
And here I am with my abomination of a beard that looks like a herd of cattle trampled over a sparse field of grass.
The struggle is real.7 -
I am not saying I trust 'the cloud' 100%, but having the freedom to wipe your phone, laptop, or pc at a moments notice without a second thought or worry is an incredible feeling.
-
Coffee and wine are my life coaches.
Start of day
☕coffee: GO GET THEM TIGER!
End of day
🍷Wine: you'll get them tomorrow.1 -
All those fucking non-programmers in my university should fuck off!! Just because am studying computer science and am in 2nd year doesn't mean i have to be like Mark and build Fucking facebook!!
Mark started in his 2nd year...bla bla fuck you!! You wanna make facebook go learn how to code yourself worthless piece of shit.
So much talent is discouraged even before it buds because of these stupid expectations!!5 -
When you have to spend two days inventing math formulas for work because google won't tell you how to sort every possible combination of an array of arrays into a zero based number list, or how to get a combination from just it's index.
12 -
The best part about solving problems in code is there is no one right answer.
Except for this. This is clearly the wrong way. This is garbage and you are a garbage person for writing it. This code you wrote is the reason your own children will never love you.1 -
Working with clients Across the globe.
12 pm their time.
This page is down, can you get it back up.
3am my time
Ok. You're just lucky I don't sleep.2 -
There is no such thing as an 'idea' person.
Learn to art, learn to code, or learn to FUCK OFF!
Talented people can take bad ideas and make gold.
Without skill the best idea will turn out garbage.2 -
accedently used chmod on chmod so i no longer had permissions to chmod.
thank goodness for remote server images.5 -
My brain is melting.
6 hours straight of just Refactoring without a break.
Technical debt is real, it is a bitch, and so are clients to expect to 'see' changes every week.
Boss tells me we need to balance doing work on things the client can play with and the backend code that does it all... 😧ok....
'TODO: remove sample return and connect to backen' As far as the eye can see.3 -
Boss: I don't want you spending more than 30 min looking into the problem.
Me: ok
Go back to desk and read or watch some cs training. Maybe related.
Go back to boss.
Me: going to take (over estimate tome) to fix.
Boss: ok.
Go back to desk and fix in less time than estimated.
Look like gold.3 -
Big project this week. Lots of fires to put out. Deadlines approaching.
Monday: I can get by on just four hours sleep. No problem. Will be just like college.
Wednesday: I'm going to just close my eyes while this file uploads. Maybe I will backup the server while I'm at it; Just take a nap while that processes.
Friday: Sorry if my office smells like vomit. It's because I am so tired I vomited.
Sunday: I'm not getting out of this bed tomorrow. Let them fire me. I think I will just will myself into a coma. That will be nice.4 -
Been off work for the last 2 weeks, got a text yesterday and apparently everything was manic. Kind of nice to know everything falls apart when I'm not there ;)3
-
Good news everyone!
unset ($marriage);
If (isset ($marriage))
self::sadness ();
else
Self::joy ();13 -
Friday: Finally the week end. I haven't seen my family all week.
Sunday: Hurry up Monday! Get me away from these people. I need to program.1 -
Internet stopped working yesterday and the ISP company told me they couldn't send a person for a week!
I'm stuck at home, I have to have internet.
Long story short, I got no sleep last night and I may have voided my routers warranty, but I got internet.8 -
me: do we need to setup the shop to charge a flat shipping rate, or charge per item?
🕛3 hours later.
client: yes, that is correct.
me: 😧2 -
!rant
Today just shipped my first fullstack application...the feeling is awesome! Even if no one uses its mine!!!3 -
!rant !dev
True story. Some years ago I worked, for a network manufacturer in the support department. One of me jobs was to help end-customer (private people) over the phone, who could not get online.
One day a 60+ year old woman called the support line, because se could not get on the Internet. And because our name was on the router, she called our support.
A colleague of mine took the call, and we could quickly see by his expression the it was "One of those calls". The minutes went by and they had gotten no closer to a solution after 45 min.
That was when I herd my colleague say "Well from what you tell, all the settings here are fine. Can you please close all the windows, so we can look at other settings". My colleague the looked weird and said, "She just told me it takes some minutes to close all the windows, so please hang on.".
After 2 min time the woman came back to the phone and said "I have now closed all the windows in the house, except one ceiling window that only my husband can reach. Hope it doesn't matter".2 -
i love programming, but have done too many 12 hour days recently.
spent last two days recharging by doing nothing but play the new Doom game.
i have a great job so my boss supports me.5 -
It's not a bug if a feature is working how you told me it should work but not how you wanted it to work.6
-
Go to Denver with a friend for an Iron Maiden concert. I try edibles for the first time, which of course means take way too much. Hallucinate that lead singer is an arm flailing inflatable tube Man. I have a pretty good time. Walk back to the motel at midnight and have to launch a client's website from stage to production on the slow Motel Wi-Fi. I'm ready to pass out at this point, but I got my laptop, and I got my VPN running. So I spend the next 6 hours moving the site from one server to another while occasionally passing out for 20 to 30 minutes at a time.
One of the best road trips of my life. Five stars would do again.2 -
The manager and selfperceived omnipotent cult leader was the worst kind of businessman. Slimey and trecherous, zero sense of ethics, but felt holier than the pope because he "helped" his weakling herd of piteous employees.
These employees were smart kids, most of them in their late teens. All of them legally disabled. There was this kid who gobbled up ritalin like candy, a boy who had received his measles shots and turned socially awkward (/s), a chubby girl who could name all the hex colors of her chocolate stained shirt... you know, what we call skilled developers in the industry.
Fiftyfive of them.
They were awesome, awkward highschool dropouts, like I had been a decade earlier. They worked 50h a week. They had great humor, were passionate, devoured information about new technologies, and they built custom websites from scratch in no time. I had to lead this flock, and felt honored to work with them.
Then things started to smell funny.
I discovered all 55 of their workstations ran pirated software, from Windows to Adobe CS. I'm not without sin in that regard, but as a company it's just plain stupid.
Clients were treated like shit. I mean, we all feel like punching a client in the face sometimes, but I'm taking about unjustified debt collections paired with death threats.
Then I found out these kids were often disappearing for a few months, only to return months later.
I started digging, and discovered they were all working reintegration internships (because they were on below minimum wage disability payments), at almost zero cost to my employer.
After 6 months, my boss gave them a negative recommendation, they were all too "sick" to function in normal jobs.
Then they were rotated to a shadow company, doing the same work for another 6 months, and so on to a third company.
He broke these kids, talked them down, made them feel worthless. He threatened the ones who understood what was happening.
I ended up bringing the company down, with the CEO and two government officials jailed for fraud and corruption.
Some employees were quite mad about it, at least at first — I was the shepherd who abandoned his sheep. Luckily, most found better paid positions in no time.
Truly one of the most fucked up and difficult situations I've been in.6 -
Just picked up some freelance work because someone recognized my dev rant shirt.
Devrant has become a cabal.5 -
Updating code for big client.
Find that they are not encrypting passwords in the database and are not sanitizing user input from forms.
Do not trust the user!2 -
I know a developer who works for a Mortgage Company, and he is dangerously incompetent. He used to work for my boss before I did and we both told his new boss how unqualified he is, but because he's able to get things "done" they think he does a good job. But I've been in the code and their entire system could any day just completely Fall Apart and they could be in a lot of trouble and we tell them this and they don't listen to us.5
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Dev rant logo has face sideways.
But I keep seeing people place their stickers so the face is upright.
Doesn't really matter, but my OCD is killing me. -
“Like herding cats.” I’ve heard this out of the mouths of PMs and other management types. No shit that’s what it’s like because cats aren’t herd animals. It’s what happens when you put some of the smartest people in your company at the bottom of a hierarchy, and then have some doofus manage us that reads inspirational leadership blogposts all day.
We will undermine the shit out of your shit, and you won’t even know it’s happening.
We will make every single reprimand of yours into a joke while you’re not in the building. “Hey Joe, I’m pretty sure what you’re doing right now is spreading negativity. Don’t you know it’s contagious?”
We will game every single metric you try to use on us. We will game every single one of your leadership agendas.
When I think of these things, I laugh in my heart like Skeletor.3 -
Started using windows mixed reality for part of my work day, best part, using Cortana voice activation to do things in my virtual space, worst part, every time i say 'hey Cortana,' my google home makes a snide remark.
Fucking google4 -
😸:oh hi, i came in early to checkout this game, but i was just about to get off and start work.
😎:I'm not your boss. I don't caire what you do.
👺:I am your boss, and as long as you get the work done, on time, and done well, I don't care if it looks lie you are doing nothing but being paid to play games. If anyone does bother you about playing games at work let me and I will let them know to leave you alone.3 -
my best use of Linux's ability to pipe together commands
git | cowsay | lolcats
I also have a custom bash script written that if the message is longer than 50 lines it writes cuts it off with a '...more' and outputs to a file where I can read the full details if needs be.
7 -
Worked from home,
Ate lunch at home,
Stayed in for dinner.
I did not see the sky at all yesterday. 😫5 -
@dfox
Only 2 rants an hour.
Ok
How about the ability to save and manually post later feature?
I had an idea for a rant. It was gold i tells ya... if only I could remember what it was. 😥8 -
I'm not sure *why*, but I increasingly see the following pattern:
Challenge a primarily OO / imperative dev by saying OO or imperative styles aren't always a good fit, and that a stateless functional approach can offer advantages, and you often get something akin to:
"Yeah, it's new to me so I'm still working my way around it, but I get that. Makes a lot of sense."
Challenge a functional dev by saying the functional style isn't always best, and in some cases functional isn't a good fit, and you tend to get:
"YOU IMBECILE! YOU ARE SIMPLY CONSTRAINED BY YOUR YEARS OF MINDLESSLY FOLLOWING THE OO HERD! FUNCTIONAL IS ALWAYS SUPERIOR!! ALWAYS, I TELL YOU!!"
I mean geez guys, calm down and learn it's just another tool in the toolbox. I get that popular paradigms emerge and have their die-hard supporters, but I didn't even see this kind of thing when OO became the "new thing everyone needs to use for everything" in the 90's.3 -
Microsoft's business suite is much better than Google's business suite.
If not for Google's monopoly in consumer market, MS would have easily taken over the consumer space as well. No wonder this company is acing their game in B2B space.
I can see myself migrating to MS ecosystem because fuck YouTube and Google Maps. MS has everything better now.
You know what MS did right?
They heard herd.
And this is what annoys me about Google. A company arrogant and adamant in their own approach that they even refuse to acknowledge a user's existence.6 -
Would you rather program one handed because...
A). Broken arm.
B). Holding screaming baby that slaps keyboard occasionally.6 -
You know your a dev when quality time with the kids is sitting them on your lap and letting them watch Netflix on one monitor while you program on the other.2
-
i have been fortunate enough to always work with awesome people.
both jobs I have had after college had almost no supervision, and I could come and go as I pleased.
I am a professional, and I loved being treated as one. I don't take advantage of my work, and they don't take advantage of me.2 -
Thirty hours over two weeks, but we finally patched a angular app that was originally built on 2 (alpha) to 4, reducing the load time ten fold.
Don't thank me, thank super duck. The duck with the power to debug any code.
Gawd I'm tired.
2 -
who has used a screw driver to connect the prongs to turn on a computer without a case/power button?7
-
I don't want to ctrl+z my family.
But is there a way to git stash the lot till I get this project done?3 -
@dfox @trogus
Wait?
Does the devrant face thing have a name?
I have been calling my stress ball Devin when I use it to rubber duck debug.
Devin, developer, devrant...
I know, home run.😅7 -
The first time you try to google what an operator does by using the symbol in the search bar because you don't know the name for it.
2 -
Got the cheapest laptop I could find that would run Windows mixed reality.
Installed Linux subsystem for Windows and Ubuntu.
Nothing but giant flying terminal windows across my view of a virtual Seascape.
This is my new home.4 -
Had to modify, but phone case is looking good.
(Took embarrassingly long time to figure out how to take photo of phone case, ala, just take phone out of case.)😅
4 -
Spent half day trying to figure out why internet stopped working in he office.
Somehow, the tangle of wires behind computer created some kind of Faraday cage that was blocking / interfering with the signal.
Just the most insane IT problem ever.1 -
😤 sometimes when I read devRant comments...😧
If I wanted a solution I would ask on stack overflow.
Let me have my hate.
I have a pm to force choke.
3 -
!rant
The efficiency of every dev stack in the world will never compare to just dropping my folder of php code into a server, with proper configurations, routes envs and everything else into a folder and watch it run.
I a pops shop wants me to build something for them? php
If an enterprise grade with a lot of users comes about? php
I have yet to have a single issue with it as most of you evee poluted, herd ready, mob mentality mfkers want to make believe.
Legit, the language is flawed, but has yet to fuck with me, i have memorized the quirks and fuckups of the language (much like I have done with JS) to know that a lot of you just bandwaggon over shit.
"It DoeSnt hAve proPer geNerics"
boom, deployed a form to a customer for his site, charged $2k for a one day job with no issue. But go ahead, setup an entire fucking pipeline of dependencies, a .net app and/or an entire bs app in node or rails(which I love btw) or an entire fuckState centric app in Go that gets messier the more you look at it and it would not be as easy or as simple to deploy.
Legit, in my entire career, nothing makes my life simpler for the web.22 -
Reviewing code for applications after not working on it for six months.
Client: so what is the first step to adding our new feature.
Me: I really think we need to redo the entire architecture from the ground up. It won't work any differently than it does now, but the code will be cleaner.
Client:😓
Me:😅3 -
A friend approached me with an "unpopular opinion" regarding the worldwide famous intro to Machine Learning course by Andre Ng.
His opinion: "shit is boring AF and so is the teacher"
Honestly, I loved it, i think it is a really good intro to the actual intuition(pun/reference intended) to the area. I specially like how it cuts down the herd in terms of the people that stick with it and the people that don't, as in "math is too hard. All i want is to create A.I" <---- bye Felicia.
Even then, i think that the idea that Andrew Ng is boring is not too far from reality. I love math, i am by no means a natural, but with pen and paper in front of me and google I feel like i can figure out and remember anything, i do it out of sheer obsession and a knack for mathematical challenges. That is what kept me sane through the course. Other than that I find it hard to disagree, even if it was not boring for me.
Anyone here thinks the course was fucking boring as well? As in, the ones that have taken it.8 -
"Minor edit"?
Why do clients always have to try and quantify the amount of effort a task is going to take while having no clue as the actual work it is going to take?
MINOR EDIT!
I bet to them changing a fundamental law of the universe would be a "minor edit"5 -
Just went from full time employee at my work to contract under my own LLC on a retainer at my old salary. I'm my own man and it feels great. All the tax breaks shall be mine.6
-
Looks like I'm @dfox evil twin.
class nerd-san extends dfox {
constructor() {
evil = true;
sunglasses = true;
}
}
3 -
Spending hours trying to solve a problem just to find that the answer was not just simple, but well known. You just didn't know the technical term to search for.1
-
squashed a spider this evening just to have it erupt with hundreds of tiny baby spiders.
what a terrifying real world visualization of my week.2 -
To the front end dev that 'finished' his part of a web form with a Hundred pluss fields. You left every id, name, and label-for as 'first-name'.
I know it saves you time to copy paste and only change what's visible on the page, but FUUUUUUCK YOU! -
Today I've come to the realization that being a PM is like trying to herd cats. I don't have enough energy for this and programming 😣😧2
-
The clients website was so slow,
How slow was it?!
This site was so slow the goodle speed test timed out. -
disadvantage of using noise canceling headphones.
boss comes in from other room. more amused than annoyed
👺:Is there a reason you are letting out a loud burp and a fart every couple minutes that i can hear through the walls?
🙊:Oh!? now I understand why my deaf friends are so oblivious to why the rest of us start laughing for 'no reason' when we go out to dinner with them. -
I'm so sick of microservice architecture... in theory it was going to make scaling elastic and deployment easier. In reality it seems to slow productivity to a 🐌 pace.
Anyone have any brilliant suggestions on how to herd these cats in production?10 -
The mysterious life of developers
CLICHE DEVELOPER - which can be spotted by the conference t-shirt and the pale skin. Main source nutrition black carbonated liquid.
HIPSTER DEVELOPER - this species only drinks warm liquids based on expensive spices and beans, and his only tool is a so called Macintosh.
for many individuals in the herd it's considered prestigious to not utilize the mouse at all.
The herd works towards a common goal, a goal set by the project owner. When the project owner arrives the developers often hide digital image of cats from their screens........
https://youtube.com/watch/...1 -
What?
I don't get it?
That doesn't make any scene....
goto line 5980
😎 coding like a boss....
goto line 8764
🤡 I have no idea what I'm doing.... -
One more time.
ppi != resolution != size ! = aspect ratio
ppi is a measurement of sharpness.
Resolution is the depth of pixels.
Size is width and height mesured in units.
Aspect ratio is the... ratio of width to height.2 -
You have 10 notices that your rant had gotten a ++, but the total score has only gone up by one.
😒2 -
my farther, it took me three hours to teach him how to use a mouse, and complains about not being able to find the free WiFi (he expects it to be something physical he can walk up to and take).
but whe he finds out the Internet has porn he (by himself without instructions) hacks the senior community center's router to bypass the porn filter.3 -
When facebook and youtube adds are nothing but clients you built websites for.😒
Someone needs to update their algorithm to more than just 'how many times you visited a website before.' -
i understand and accept why some people prefer mac.
every mac i have ever used has shit the bed during normal use. while windows and Linux machines have too, however less frequently. unlike mac there is always something i can personally do about it to fix the problem.
i like having complete control over my computer and don't like the idea of paying a premium to be told how i can or can't use it.6 -
Does devrant have a public api? Tempted to write an atom plugin so I can pretend to work, but actually rant.1
-
Client sends screenshots, compressed, and shrunk down to an unreadable size, inside a docx file.
Just... just no. Where is a spray bottle or a rolled up newspaper when you need one.
(For you three people who are going to comment 'why don't you just teach them...' ssssssssssshut up, some people are just unteachable ( for you other three who are going to say 'everyone is teachable.' Not true, if it was you wouldn't be saying such things.))1 -
so a client yesterday decides they need a site built by eop Friday, that has been quoted today. if approved first thing tomorrow gives about 1.5 days to get it done. Thanks boss
-
!rant
Hey guys
Building my herd list for 3D printers.
looking for Devs with a 3D printer and likes to share knowledge and Ideas?
18 -
"git checkout HEAD ." Instead of "git reset HEAD ." Smeg! Just shoot me. I'm going to bed and restarting in the morning like today never happened.5
-
"Don't worry I used to be a programmer, I'm a cool project manager"
...Scariest words I've herd in a long time -
Getting a new laptop tomorrow, and was planing the process of setting it up.
Steps for new windows computer
1. Delete all included software... all of it.. call an exorcist if needed. Cast out the demons. Seriously, fuck you norton, and fuck you mcafee.
2.Use Edge to download ANY other browser.
3.edit system files to disable Edge, because fuck Edge.
4.install linux subsystem.
5.intall linux software like git, and use git to restore rc files.
6.party all night (code)7 -
Manny a developer has been foiled by a single random misplace punctuation mark hiding in a million lines of code.3
-
TLDR;
Couple of years ago when I was leading small team that was aiming to deliver new application for company I worked in we were fighting for bonus during weekend. I told my coworkers that I am at work this weekend and try to meet this impossible deadline and get bonus for it cause I need this money. I don’t expect them to come since I can’t provide them nothing more then free time during work week.
Well they appeared at work.
One of directors tested application on Friday and sent email to ceo that it’s not working pointing around 20 bugs in long message so we won’t get bonus.
We closed around 50-100 bugs during weekend and I responded to email on Monday ( deadline day ) that all of those bugs he mentioned are not present on test environment version and he must tested some very old version.
Ceo called me and we clicked trough first 5 from list in his office and everything worked. I told him that deadline is Today but he refused to give us bonus to not discredit his director but proposed double bonus for squashing couple of minor remaining bugs in next two weeks.
We got this bonus and had a great laugh about it.
I also herd that this director called his qa to tell them it’s impossible of what we did.
Well those were funny times. I was young, earning shitty money and had nothing to lose. -
Spent two hours having two recruiters give me test, interviewing, and being told HOW perfect I am for the job I was applying for; Just to be told they are only allowed to send over people they have found previous work for, but I should instead apply to these othwr positions that pay half what I'm looking for.
-
Sometines after a long day of having clients continually find edge cases that break the code makes me want to be like.
"Hey! Having the app work well was never part of the scope for the project, just that it would work ish."
But I know better. -
First time today trying a sensory deprivation chamber.
All I could think was
"error no input signal"4 -
https://youtu.be/2VkNWLYD5c4
What this? Kids who use tablets and technology have IMPROVED fine motor skills over those who do not.
How can this be? Everything the new generation has that older generations did not is always the worst thing ever.3 -
The school I went to, and this was really the only benefit of the school, gave all it students lifetime memberships to digital tutors, which was bought out by pluralsight, which then bought code School. So I basically got free membership to three different sites, all of which have a good amount of technical training with videos, guides, and work along lessons on them.
For what school cost to me, it will have paid for itself as long as I live for another Thousand Years.1 -
Hmm.. I've noticed a trend in teams at companies: they always seem to have similar personalities, rather than similar skills.
For example, if the team leader is a pathetic, pretentious, sarcastic, frigid, lifeless loser who pretends he's happy, then he usually has a herd of equally pathetic and frigid losers following him. I notice that every time I apply to a company that has such a group, they instantly disqualify me as a member. Interesting, interesting..
The same goes for a company that has down-to-earth people like myself, then the team is usually a down-to-earth manager and down-to-earth, warm-hearted colleagues.
It all makes sense now.3 -
Hello and welcome come to hell for developers. Take a seat at any open computer.
You may have noticed we did away with the fire and brimstone.
Instead we just have you maintain the legacy code from your first job.
It's genrally html, php, javascript, and css all on the same page and all mixed together.
We would say have fun, but that's not really the point.2 -
Love Squirrel Girl, the super hero with the powers of a squirrel, and a degree in computer science.
4 -
Am I the only one who gets intimidated when shit its roof?
Yesterday, during crucial business hours, one of the major OMS db column type got overflowed. Caused around 30 mins downtime and then later, pool of all connections with high concurrent requests flushed down stream which caused thunder herd.
One by one.. all services went down; Fucking java service couldn't even start because of load..
This is the moment I fell in love with GoLang. We shard request using GoLang service, it just started and picked up the load beautifully..
At the end, it is around 6 millions business loss, but a good lesson learned :) -
I don't care about your good ideas.
If you don't code, don't art, have nothing to contribute to the work, and aren't going to pay me for my time, then there is no collaboration.1 -
I need to stop adding, weep uncontrollably, between tasks in my work to do list before my coworkers start thinking I'm serious.
Technically I am serious - you would be too if you had to manage the servers I inherited - but I don't want to ruin the all powerful Wizard of Oz vibe I got going.1 -
Getting a new laptop is exhausting if you haven't been keeping up with the technology. I have purchased three laptops in the last two weeks returning the first two after spending 10 + hours each installing updates and software just to find out they didn't work for what I needed.1
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I was working on computer project with a friend. He saw my devRant stressball was sideways so he turned it upright. I saw it was upright so I turned it sideways. We both have aspergers so we keep doing this for two hours before either one of us says anything about the OCD battle we were having.
You would think acknowledging the situation would allow us to laugh it off and get on with our work....
Half an hour later Devy McRant Face has to go in a drawer so we can move on. -
I have a lot of fun during crunch time.
It's like running a marathon. It is both physically and mentally taxing, and I get a rush out of seeing how hard I can push myself.
But like a marathon, it suuuuucks if you are not prepared, or you otherwise didn't want to do that.
You hear that bosses?
Crunch is like running a marathon. That thing that people, who prepare for years to do, still causes them to piss and shit themselves while their nipples bleed. And that's when they are fully prepared. That is what you are asking your team to do without any notice ahead of time.
"Ok Derrick, I know you wanted to visit your family in the country this weekend. But we need you to run uphill, fuled only by diet dr pepper and fear of loosing your job, untill you pass out and need an I.V. to keep you from stroking out. '
Otherwise a lot of fun. -
VR is great. Been getting together weekly with my dungeon and dragon friends from highschool but instead of meeting in person we get together in vr.
Feels just like getting together in person but is more convenient since we each connect from our own homes.2 -
talking about people with computer preferences i don't understand.
i sometimes forget i use a mechanical roller ball mouse for work and play.
which one? just google it, these are so out of fashion there are only three different models currently for sale anywhere that i can find.
6 -
"There is a reason that we keep our variables private. We don’t want anyone else to depend on them. We want to keep the freedom to change their type or implementation on a whim or an impulse. Why, then, do so many programmers automatically add getters and setters to their objects, exposing their private variables as if they were public?"
-Uncle Bob, Clean Code.1 -
When client budget is less than the time needed to do a good jobs.
Happens more than I like.
"We’ve all said we’d go back and clean it up later. Of course, in those days we didn’t know LeBlanc’s law: Later equals never."
-Clean Code1 -
So many 'my Precious' devrant stickers, but nowhere to put them.
Waiting for new laptop in three months, trade out phone every year so don't want to waist them there.
Friend: you can give one to me.
HISSSSSSSSSS!
Friend: woah, dude?
Yeah, they do look sad just sitting in the envelope they came in. Here you go.
Friend: Thanks. I don't know, still looks sad on my laptop.
Well, that's cause your laptop's shit init.1 -
Trying to find if there is a bug on Devrant.
I'm calling the herd (meaning a group of Devranters I added on a list for a specific topic).
If you are on the list and didn't receive a notify, please tell me so I can report it.15 -
Have you ever gotten a job working on a project you generally understand conceptually, and on day one, with zero knowledge of the specifics, you are now in charge of said project with no one to ask about the standards or procedures?
Then again, why would you ask anyone, after all, you're in charge.5 -
any time i come up with a cleaver solution to a problem I remember my cousin who works for nasa and i mope about how I've waisted my life and nothing i do matters.5
-
when the pm chooses a js library but says can you just change this... either accept the library as you chose it or give a proper spec to write it from scratch
-
Code editors as Doom skill levels:
coda = I'm too young to die.
notepad++ = Hey, not to rough.
sublime = Hurt me plenty.
vi = Ultra-Violence.
emacs = Nightmare!3 -
Spend the same amount of time looking for and testing existing npm packages as it would take to build something from scratch.
Nothing yet, but Boss is still certain that building our own is unnecessary.
😐 -
@dfox
Awesome devrant podcasts.
Seriously, if you enjoy devrant you will be really impressed with the two they have done so far.
Surprised at the five star guests they have gotten so far.
Just need to net Uncle Bob. -
Was freelance artist for 10 years.
Decided it would be easier to learn to program than to get clients to pay.3 -
I know that you can complete for example
h1.title
to
<h1 class="title"></h1>
By pressing TAB in Jetbrains IDEa and Atom, but can you also set other attributes like the herd of an a-tag?4 -
Buying a brand new laptop, I think I'll save some money and get an i5 instead of an i7 and then turn around the next day and decide I hate money and I love having a computer that's more powerful than I need it to be.7
-
when i brought the vive home the wife was all, meah😒, at first then, 😲 oh my goodness this is the halo deck, our future is an empty room with vr goggles.
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Have a lot to do so I only sleep for four hours.
Next day take 4 hour nap and waste entire afternoon.
Productivity pre alpha. -
Want to expand skill set. But all my time is taken up working on projects that use just my old skills.1
-
on live server
me: these root server files have loose permissions.
sudo chmod -rf 644 /*
me: well... 'cd' works, but nothing else. -
Area of focus?
Whatever the client currently needs.
Because, who has time to specialize when there are bills to pay? -
Dear clients
Websites are not a turnkey business.
Your site is going to need maintenance overtime. And you are going to need to pay for it. -
"I don't think anyone will mind if we update and make all old code incompatible."
- every reat/soap service the day after you finish development. -
"Oh computer, your real name should be porn funnel. I love my family more than you, but only collectively. on a case by case basis I love you more than any individual family member. "
-Nerd 'robot chicken' -
Site working for me and not coworker during testing.
Go crazzy for 10 minutes.
Find resource pointed to http://localhost/file.php
Feel silly rest of day. -
Want to downvote comment out of pride, but know I must up vote to acknowledge that I have been properly burned and put in my place.
Be good sports when this happens to you and do the same.3 -
Holding back so hard on getting a new laptop.
We are so close to getting the hardware i want at the price I can accept.1 -
The customer may always be right, but you are not a customer, you are a client. As a client you have come to us because you have no idea what you are talking about. Rarely do you even know what it is you even want. So how can you be right about something you know nothing about. I want you to be happy with the end product; I emotionally need it as it determines how I value myself as a developer. So trust me when I tell you that you are wrong. That is why you are my client. To give you what you never knew you wanted.
-
Didn't learn to code till late 20's
Always wanted to program since I was a little kid but was discouraged by everyone I ever talked to about it as it being 'too difficult .'
Finally had an awsome college professor that took special interest to encourage me to go after it. -
This book I'm reading on SEO is like drinking nightquil.
The more I read the harder it gets to not pass out.6 -
Real question, not troll. There is debate about it and I really can't figure it out.
Besides having the title software "engineer," is there really such a thing as a software engineer?
In the US, to be an engineer you have to be regularly tested by a regulated governing body, apprentice under another engineer for years, and be certified on a state level. Whereupon you are personally liable for your designs being FREE from errors.
For one thing, nobody can write bug free code, and the idea of being personally responsible for each bug is terrifying.
And two, I've seen news of people calling themselves software engineers in the USA and Canada and getting a cease and desist or sued for it, despite any level of qualification.
I'm sure there are engineers, especially electrical, computer engineers who also program.
But... ?
I don't know, I can't say either way.
That's why I'm asking.9 -
4200 php files with exploit code removed or cleaned and 12 hours of work, and I can cautiously sigh a relief2
-
i really dislike inheriting depricated projects😓.
really wanted to use angular 2 for current project but our hosting server is outdated and nodejs wont run on it.
realy wish we could update the server, but doing this would break 10 older sites we are being paid to host .
any ideas?15 -
write comment about posters preference of device or OS.
close eyes and imagine the meaningless flame war that would follow.
delete comment.
feel good about choice.
good for me. -
By the end of the day my eyes always feel like they are on fire.
After four years of this it is time to get some blue light filtering computer glasses.6 -
When you go from compiling/testing code on every line change to not checking for hours and it just works when you run it.
😎
Not always, but sometimes. -
for on the go developinh I have completely replaced my laptop with my phone and a folding Bluetooth keyboard.
It can really do anything my laptop did, and if needed I can just remote desktop into my pc or ssh into a server.2 -
I think taking your phone to the bathroom with you is socially acceptible, but may be the limits to what is. I love the oculus go portable vr goggles, but if I was caught taking those into the bathroom at work my name would be added to a list.1
-
Cold-brewed yerba mate, iced brewed crio bru, Adderall, duck.
I believe I have everything that I need to hit those deadlines before break.
1 -
Tell client we need to add an hour to the budget to test, QA, and proof account/password emails to be sent to over 2000 customers.
They say they tested it and to send now.
Charge them for an additional four hours to test, QA, and proof apology emails because client's api was sending broken passwords.1 -
Working with friend and using nodejs websockets and SVG to build online multiplayer lazer screen arcade like games.
The only delay is having to stop every couple of minutes to restate how cool this is. -
I got a job with a family that ran startups . The whole family had a role to play . The father of the son was directing operations . He was a hard teacher , but he took the time to break things shown . He was keeping track of who was [aying attention . As the herd of emplotyyees got thinner , I found myself into ore & more work & side projects . Before I realized , I was running operations on my own .
That doesn't mean that there were not hardships or growing pains , at the end of it all , that was the best three years of professional career . I learned so many skills . I will never forget & will forever be grateful . -
i know i could have done this in 10 min using our current framework,
but i really wanted to learn this new framework.
only took 10 hours to figure out.
still considering it a win. -
What a week.
A family emergency on Tuesday doesn't stop the client meeting on Thursday.
And yes, that 7 hour block of time was solid programming without stepping away from the computer.
3 -
being 4th in line to maintain legacy code in a language I have never used before when the the last two guys were, and this is my boss telling me and not my judgment, 'incompetent.'
there are literally four functions in this class that all do the same thing... which is the one being called in this case... a seperate external function located in another file in a different language on a different server all together. 😐 -
Sick at the start of the week end, then there was daylight savings time.
I haven't had a good night sleep in almost a week.
Calling it for the day to rest. Sacrificing half the day to save the next two. -
My biggest regret is not becoming a programmer sooner in life. Ever since I saw the computer wore tennis shoes when I was 5 I wanted to be a computer programmer. But my brother discouraged me saying it was so difficult but no one did it. So I thought I guess if no one is doing it.... Then in both Junior High and High School they have computer classes but you had to be friends with the teacher to even know it existed in the first place. I was not on good terms with him.
Thanks to a very encouraging Teacher at Art School I finally I was able to pursue my lifelong interest in computers. -
Security theater is not security.
I am still on my mother's cell plan. I pay for it, but she is the primary account holder. We are grandfathered into unlimited no restrictions data, and a new phone yearly, so yeah, not giving that up.
Anyway, when i go to the store to manage the account they say, 'sorry, Sarah needs to come in as the primary account holder.'
'I am sarah' I tell them. I am lying, they know I am lying, and they know I know.
But they have no choice but to go along. I even asked once; they are not allowed to ask for proof of id. I don't know why.
It's just security theater.1 -
there is no time in the budget for refactoring the code that is being shipped to live.
the only refactoring i get done is the code going into my portfolio. -
There is a comic book app, let's call it 'the fucking awful crunchy roll manga app'.
Over two years, and four devices, 80% of the time it loads pages out of order, or the same three pages over and over, Making books unreadable. Reseting the app or device does not fix it. It's just random when it works.
Point being. Its a god damb gallery app! That's programing 101 shit. How dose a company this big, That does two things, stream video and display images in order, completely fuck up half of their entire market for years with no one fixing it?
I could program this thing in a week end. That's not a brag. This is almost literally a 'apps for dummies' throw away project .
Why? Just WHY?2 -
inherited management and development of a cms that is both beautiful and terrify.
when the developer nefore you was a mystic of programming that you will never be equal to.😅😟😢 -
Sigh...
Only on android.
Every browser on every other os is fine.
This is a stupid problem and I hate it.
4 -
I don't know how much use others get out of the zoom functionality in browsers.
normally i have several different browsers open with multiple windows on a single monitor with half of them zoomed to 50% so I can fit more and still see everything at once without juggling whats on top or switching desktops. -
did a google search for typesceipt date formating as just 'ts date'...
the results were less than helpful.1 -
Problem with touchscreens.
Look away from phone for a minute and when I turn back to find I somehow navigated to a settings menu.
Oh crap! Did I change anything?!
Factory reset phone just to be safe. -
Just read an article on cnn.
If people start using the term Aspies for people with aspergers I am just going to start kicking people in the taint.1 -
Any reputable trade magazines or websites i should be looking at that are not just the technology equivalent to the natuonal inquirer?1
-
Does no one check the dev console before comming to you about site code not working?
It says it right there!
You can't load a src with http while the site is https. -
the penny-arcade comic today has a part of a conversation I have had before.
me: ... I did some internet research.
friend: Google. First result. Okay, continue. -
For some reason I always forget the enctype from forms with file uploads. Spent half an hour today digging through the functions for saving the file before discovering the image want being posted at all. D'oh
-
Top instrumental bands to listen to while programming?
Adebisi Shank
https://music.youtube.com/watch/...5 -
15 yrs ago I was only dreaming about seeing cicadas
10 yrs ago I saw and heard a herd of them in Malta
5 yrs ago I heard them in our part of the black sea
... and now we have them in our forests too. we don't have the sakura tree but I can cheat a bit and next year I can go walk trough cherries trees when they blossom w/ my catana handle umbrela and re-live one of the many animes that have such sceenes ^,^2 -
😢I can't find a solution on stack overflow. All hope is lost!
😽have you tried reading the documentation?
😧oh... there it is. -
Rumble rumble, Steve Jobs, rumble, Wozniak, rumble rumble, turtleneck sweater, rumble, nacho cheese, rumble rumble, atari, apple 2, neakbeard.
-
Hey, really need your help guys, is there anybody out there using sconsify? I'm havin a really herd time installing it, and really would appreciate any help.
Thanks!
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