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Dear Misinformed idiots,
Just because you watched Silicon Valley doesn't mean you actually understand how Software Development works.
-We don't sit in front of a screen in an AC room googling funny pictures
-We don't think of new Algorithms by pretending to be jerking.
-We don't "get lucky" with our code, it takes hours of studying and research to come up with a solution which actually works.
-And we definitely can't just "create the *next* Google", THAT is not how it works.
I swear to the God ya'll love and cherish, the next person to approach me to turn their shit idea into "The next big thing", I'll leave everything aside and drive a screwdriver through your neck.
- An Engineer tired of everyone's never ending shit storm.10 -
I think I just invented a thing.
Mouse drop.
It should be a thing.
The next time I switch jobs I'll definitely do a mouse drop before I leave the building.9 -
Shutting down my company 😔,
Can't do it anymore,trying to do the best work for shit pay.
Clients haven't paid... Now I doubt I can even find 10 quid literally don't have 10 quid to my name right now 😔.
Burnt myself out ... I can't even concentrate on my work cause I'm stressing on everything...never ending spiral.... 😢
Going to just get a normal job ... Just lucky I have parents to go back to.
Running a dev company... Really amazing when things go well, it's unexplainable in fact but... Devastating when it doesn't 😞
You know when you break up with a girl you've been with for ages... Like how horrific ... That can be... This is literally worse .. I didn't think it was even possible...23 -
I'm currently on my way to Japan on vacation.
This is how it went so far:
😁 - Arriving at airport early and excited
🤔 - Find out our flight is delayed. Oh well it might now be by a lot
😥 - Find out that it's 2 hours delayed and we will miss our next flight
😤 - Arrive at Frankfurt airport, and stands in line for 2 hours to the service desk
😡 - Arrive at service desk to get told that we have to go to a special service desk to get rebooked
🤬 - Get a ticket with our number in the queue. 125 people in front of us.
😴 - 4 and a half hour later, get get informed we will need to stay at a hotel for the night, and that we'll be flying at 6 pm the next day
😑 - Get to hotel and crashes (this is by 1 am now)
🤬 - Wakes up 6 hours later because we have a room right next to a construction site
Pro tips for Lufthansa and the imbeciles in their management and staff:
1. Inform people. You fucking knew the flight was this delayed, and you could actually have given people a choice at the beginning of their travel.
Now you had to put 100+ people in a hotel.
2. Bring food to people. Spending so much time in an airport leaves people very hungry. (Pssst, chocolate, candy and French potatoes are NOT food)
All in all, just fuck Lufthansa and their handling of this situation.
Fucking great start to the vacation. I'm already more exhausted than if I just went to work...10 -
I like that google explains how to install Android studio after downloading it. Like people who download android studio don't know how to click next, next, next, next, install.14
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I think we were one of the tens of companies to actually pay for one of Apple's most obscure products.
8 -
"I know more coding" - Friend
Attached image is one of his "websites" that he put up for download
13 -
I am 21 and I just found out that I have rheumatoid arthritis in my fingers
I think a little part, no ,a huge chunk inside of me just died.
Why the fuck does life keep piling shit...
what's the fucking point....35 -
"Make us a one-page website for our new company!"
I build the site, to their exact specifications and show it to them
"There's only one page"
"You only asked for one page."
"No, we didn't"
I show them the email they sent me, asking for a one-page site
"Wow, you suck, we are finding another developer!"5 -
Isn't it fantastic that someone right now, maybe, is building the next big thing in tech? Or that someone is building another JavaScript library to be released in the next 30 minutes?3
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Director: What’s the next step on <thing>?
Manager: There is no next step because *manager explains*.
Director: How can not there be a next step?
Manager: *explains the same thing again, reading from a mail chain Director is also a part of*
Director: Okay, so net-net there is no next step.
Beautiful conclusion mf.1 -
JavaScript? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
JK. Honestly, all I can say is the next fad will come, then the next, then the next... They'll all explode for a bit, accumulate band wagoners, calm down... Wash, rinse, repeat...
Oh and PHP will still be around. :P9 -
"You're a programmer?!"
"So, I have this app idea and I think it will be revolutionary!! I HAVE GREAT ideas for what it will look like - light blue here and white everywhere else. it's like facebook but different ..."
"It's really going to express my creativity as a person. I've poured my heart and soul into this idea. ITS GREAT RIGHT?!?!"
6 -
Tired after a long day at work. Let me shuffle some music in spotify:
"I don't want a lot for Christmas..."
Next
"Underneath the Christmas tree..."
Next
"All I want for Christmas is you..."
Next
"Love and understanding,
Merry Christmas everyone..."
*sigh*2 -
Linux is pretty much like Windows, but instead of "next, next, next, and finish" you do "copy and paste, copy and paste, copy and paste".10
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So came across an emoji language the other day. I have no words just emojis http://www.emojicode.org/9
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Making a site that looks like Windows XP for one of my friends. What do you guys think of it so far?
9 -
Producer: "We need this new feature by next Wednesday's release. Enter estimates into the task, ok?"
Me: ಠ_ಠ
hint for the estimate: by next Wednesday1 -
Cleaning up code...
var screenshotPanel = $(this).parent().parent().parent().parent().next().next();
Kill me now.5 -
1) Read the wiki on git. I probably have enough shorthands and test methods that you won't need much other shit to debug issues.
2) when debugging, remember that if it is there, there's a good reason why I put it there.
3) commented-out code is probably useful for maintenance. I left it there for a good reason. 😛
4) chances are whatever I wrote, was the state of the art at the time I wrote it. There might be better ways to do it now tho.
5) I always work modular. First, understand the structure. (probably also documented on wiki) DO NOT fuck up the structure. If you change it, you document it.
6) If you feel I wrote shit, it's probably because management annoyed the living shit out of me. Pun intended.
7) Your confusion is normal. I don't do dumb shit.4 -
I've been toying with the idea of making a change to my working life for a while now. Its a big decision, and could affect something thats been working well.
But today I've made that decision ... and i'm going for it ... i'm going to leave my headphones in the office and stop carrying them in / out everyday.
Its a scary thought, but i'm ready for it. Wish me luck, see you on the other side!1 -
I was about sign-out and collegue comes running that something is urgent and can't wait till next day.
I said fuck off to his face and told him to go and resume his tik-tok video. I signed out and left office. Next day he reported me to HR. Disciplinary action will taken against me starting next week.
Awesome 😎4 -
So we were having our Computer Science lab just this morning and this girl wasn’t able to get the right output for a JAVA program.
Actual answer: 5.71
Her answer: 6.34
Her explanation: “Maybe I’m not getting the output because I am on a different system, try this on your computer, please?”
My reaction :
6 -
For fucks sake...
If it is a new feature, out of scope for the next release ...
It is OUT OF SCOPE FOR THE NEXT RELEASE, MKAY?????4 -
"Oh, the next button is 2 pixels to the left, let's open a separate defect for each page that has the next button"2
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Someone asked me to help him with his assignment and this happened.. trust me I'm not drunk
"mid ka next" means "next of mid"
8 -
Ever get assigned a defect like this?
First click any radio button and hit the Next button. Then on the next screen click some buttons and hit back button. Then hit next, change a radio selection, hit back, then next, then back, then next and eventually page will bomb out.
Wtf am I supposed to do with this?!5 -
It’s just me or copy-past options in DevRant app appear with Kanji? Why? Even if I open my photo gallery to attach an image, the “OK” option appears with Kanji 😞I select the text and “copy” at my own risk.
13 -
Why is almost every Wordpress Theme company I know just a bunch of wrecked mushroom addict assholes! Please for gods sake just get your damn documentation right and stop sticking your heads into your colleagues asses when someone is asking for support.
The next time you receive 49 bucks for nothing you dipshit think of me how I stick my fist into your ass!
Fucking morons!1 -
Okay so I jumped on this app because I would ideally want to make friends interested in the stuff I am.
Using this app has really made me realise how much of a noob I am though. I feel like I'm doomed to never find the kinda people I wanna know.4 -
When you get to work with the Analytics side if the warehouse and one of the guys wants you to learn d3. Js to take a csv to make a html site.
Me: hell Yeah can't wait to make crazy circle graphs and line graphs for everyone in analytics
Analytics: Oh, we just need you to take the csv files and copy the same excel format to a html site. So, table, table, table, table.
Me: so...... No visualization graph
Analytics: No.
4 -
so now they've got me taking aptitude tests
like a little lab rat 🐁
🤡
tune in next week to find out my next foray in the idiotic hiring slop world of death3 -
I'm starting to see this way o much today, first @Root, now @Bubbles.
Today... is going to be an interesting day.
5 -
Apparently macOS Mojave opens iTunes when I press the "Next Track" key and there is no media playing in another service. Before it would only move to the next track on Spotify. Help!3
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What are the things in computer science do I need to learn?
So yeah, I'm still in high school and will be entering IT in a few years, but I am willing to learn now. I already have a good grasp of programming and can create good desktop apps and basic web apps, so teaching basic concepts such as variables, loops, functions is done for me.. But what computer science concepts should I learn next?18 -
Started to learn java! Loving it so far.. Coming from Python 3 i thought this was not gonna be easy but so far so good.. Can someone give me some advice or tips on what to tackle next after java?17
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I was wondering how many years will I get for killing muggles who approach me with ideas about the "Next Facebook Idea" after hearing I am a programmer?!
Would be possible to be freed of all charges?2 -
"I can't connect to the internet on my phone!!11!"
*I open control centre and disable airplane mode*
"omg how you do that thank you"1 -
Why did sonatype just break my maven deploy plugin?? Well finally I was able/forced to migrate to the sonatype deploy plugin.
Finally fully automated CIdeployment to maven central yey.
For the curious, I‘m taking about my hobby (soon to be startup) project https://spot-next.io
Get version 1.011-BETA while it‘s still hot 😆
It‘s An open source SAP hybris alternative on speed 😜😅
Help wanted btw 😅
And excuse the still not complete docs, my two kids + job keep me busy way too much -
I'm wondering if devs would still play that russian roulette in linux if the one drawing the short straw gets it's GPU fried up 🤔
Or at least somethibg like that.2 -
Thanks to devrant (again) I'm thinking more on what to post next instead of how to code the next feature... It's like cocaine, It ruins me but i can't get enough of it !6
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It's like I know staying up all night is gonna kill me the next day, and I do it anyways... and now it's the next day. Fml 😫4
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Does anyone of you own a Microsoft Surface?
What are your thoughts on Surface vs. Mac.
For my next laptop upgrade, I am thinking to invest in a decent one which lasts of half a decade or longer.
Mac is surely out of question.
Have had terrible experience with Lenovo and Sony. Don't quite like HP or others.
Remaining options are Surface or Dell.16 -
Ok worked really hard and understood how to use this tool today
*Next Day*
Welp its old now time to learn the next 'new' tool 😄1 -
When you are scrolling when your left thumb and accidentally upvote a rant you didn't mean to. Feels so heartless removing said upvote...2
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Currently at Google Next. Enjoying my first tech conference / show.
Just felt like I should check in. What are you guys up to?
Cheers!1 -
Steve Jobs talking about gigabit internet, cloud and SaSS in ‘97
https://m.youtube.com/watch/...
watching old Jobs videos from 90s when Steve was at Next and just after back to Apple with great ideas and fresh mind, damn he saw that all in 90s -
"Thanks XYZ-san for the clarification.
We will take the defect to next level." - A colleague in an email to the client
😐 the fuck does she mean take the defect to the next level!!!!2 -
With every day that passes, I more and more want to do something else as a profession...
But WHAT?!?!8 -
I hate that i feel like I should be coming up with the next great tech innovation just because I'm in the industry. The onus is put on us to create the next Facebook and make a success of it, when no one would expect an electrician to create the next light bulb or a store worker to create the next great product. Why do we put this pressure on ourselves?1
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After github next potential targets are jetbrains and slack so they are done with all competition for next 2-5 years. We can’t beat them but we can always buy them.2
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Watching The Next Web conference live stream to see if devRant stand will appear at some point! https://video.twentythree.net/the-n...5
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/* me coding along, making good progress on a project I'm currently working on. About to implement the next feature, which could be implemented in a few different ways. */
Me: this is going swimmingly! Let's get this next part started!
Brain: careful mate...
Me: *spends hours implementing the next part.*
Brain: listen here mate, you should have used the other method. It might make it easier.
Me: *spends hours re-implementing the next part.*
Brain: wait. No you were right. The other way was way better, my bad. Sorry
Me: *slams face in keyboard* I guess I'll try again tomorrow.
/* repeat this process for the next week or so, never actually making any real progress. */ -
That feeling where there's a bug in the code, you patch it, then an error occurs on the next line, and the next, and the next, and the next, and the next, and then it runs without failing but it doesn't do what you originally intended.2
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The startup were i'm currently working is going next week to Web-Summit. But I didn't get payed at the end of October.... So I guys the system will perform very poorly next week.1
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Google probably knows they fucked up when I click the Next button
And yes I am adding this pick just to get your attention.
9 -
From next Monday to next Friday i'm coding with a fried sth. for a school project.
The Plan: a complete Forum
Problems: Friend was ill since >4 Month and is currently ill since the last 3 Days..
Next problem: It's code!
Happy coding...1 -
!rant
"I spend one week every ten or so, on call. Then I spend the next nine weeks writing code to make my next on call shift better." - Tom Limoncelli
Relatable AF 😂1 -
Just spent the better part of my day making our QA environment work and look like our CAT/UAT environment for a website and supporting web services that was built to look like 1998 puked on it. Wrong way people. Other Devs skipped QA due to external reasons (admittedly I was one) and never kept it updated... Everything from database comparisons to IIS configurations needed to be redone.
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So how you like opera accepting ipfs crypto domains ?
I just started being interested in it as it might move people to encrypted internet.
You think things like unstoppable domains and metamask are the future of internet ?
I can find anything useful that is on crypto domains right now.2 -
Just went to update my nextcloud instance, is there an archive of packages for archlinux ARM, nextcloud stable isnt compatible with php 7.2.
I regularly clear /var/cache/pacman/pkg yes i already checked... -
All these maths and research and autonomous driving shit are OK, but in my next life I want to be Soilwork's drummer and have some big fun.
You owe me, Universe -
Today, I travelled as usual, 1.5 hours to the office using different types of public transport, greeted my colleagues and settled down in my cabin to begin working when I realised that I was wearing my t-shirt inside out.
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It is clear to everyone that Windows is a piece of crap in every possible way.
But I don't understand one thing. Unix existed before Windows. It has always been superb.
Why did Microsoft develop a whole bew crappy OS, instead of keeping Xenix(I know it was licensed) or forking a Unix-like os like Apple did with NeXTSTEP?
Imagine a world where every os is unix like. So wonderful.2 -
Not too sure why I am required to be in the office when we all know the next code I will be writing is next year.2
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!rant Just found https://zeit.co/now which is awesome, but then found zeit.co. co/next which is also terribly great but THEN I found the vue js clone nuxt. Fridays are always rewarding !2
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So what did you all think about Google Clod Next's opening day? I was really surprised, that there were no dev related topics.2
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I have a meeting in 1 hour that should be about the deployment of a product. This morning I got 2 emails from the client about some not so small changes.
Not sure how I can explain that I'm not a wizard.
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