Man, we have a snake in our company.

This snake is responsible for terrible code. They oversee a offshore team, but hold them to no coding practices. They don't do code reviews or checks. They let them be lazy and get away with sloppy work every time.

And if you critize their team - they will defend them and get angry at you. You can't adress the problem because said snake is always around. He's in a senior position for giving our company cheap workers, doing years of damage to our product while the non-code savvy managers remain blissfully unaware of their product being ruined in the background.

This snake is the senior product office. He has a share in the company now. He is from the overshore team's country. That team now has their claws so dug into our companies roots and are just pumping lsd's into it constantly. Feels good untill you die from an overdose.

Here I am, the new junior software developer, trying to tear out the claws that have sunk into these roots. Im up against the snake. The snake hates me. I hate the snake. I am trying to open the eyes of the managers. They hate that. They want to silence me so I don't expose the awful, unprofessional level of work they do.

Well, that's too bad. I won't back down from this, snake.

Being a programmer on a non-tech startup company is not too bad. That means aside from coding:

- You have to check if the office printer works
- You need to figure out why the phone lines aren't ringing
- You have to teach a stupid colleague on how to unzip a file
- When they give you a task, they'll say that it's "not urgent", but, they just "need it by tomorrow"
- You have to be a "mind-reader" because if something goes wrong, they don't know how to describe what's going on. Or probably, they're just too lazy being specific. They'll just say, "Hey, I have a problem.", and you will be like "What problem? Your dog is sick? You shit your pants? You lost your faith in God? Fuck what?"
- You don't have a time to "focus", because everyone interrupts you for just about anything related to "technology". Yeah, because you're the IT guy
- You always have learned and applied the latest practices/stacks, but no one gives a fuck
- You will start to re-think your life and devrants make you feel better

So today I got really triggered when i hear this guy say that coding is cancer. I stand up and instantly the first thing going through my mind is that it's the battle of the nerds. He says he tried ALL of the programing languages out there and they were shit. I asked if he tried C# and he still says coding is cancer even though he has never even heard of any C# syntax. I asked if he used Batch as a started language and he still says it. So I just decided to roast him by saying "did you put .bat at the end of the file when you were saving? Oh wait never mind, I forgot your lazy ass doesn't have the intelligence to understand how to save"
Surprisingly everyone was silent and most likely didn't understand what I had said. So I just left wondering if he even bothered to get a guide on syntax for any of the languages he would have liked.

Coding for the Lazy 😬

CS graduates that have never gone beyond "Hello World", fuck college and it's "system".

So the actual victims of the story are friends of mine, CS colleagues, but I can't help but share as the existence of code freeloaders enfuriates me.

At college in order to graduate you need to present a project in form of a thesis a side from your actual thesis, there is a shortage of pre-approved projects and everyone wants one.

A talented friend of mine who has many years of programming experience got in one with another friend of mine and a lady who I've never seen before. One Saturday night my friend and I were having some beers at a local bar and his phone didn't stop beeping so I jokingly said:

"Bro, tell your girl you need some space", he laughed and explained it was the chick from her project having some "issues" with node.

"So? Tell her to google it, it's Saturday night", he explained the girl has never coded before even though she's about to graduate so she had take it upon herself to pressure him to finish ASAP so she can graduate and get an already agreed position at the federal energy commission... As dev!

I've seen my bud in a lot of dumb calls with said chick trying to explain how you CAN'T COMPILE THE NODE WEBSERVER TO A .EXE!

It frustrated me how such an idiot can go through a CS major buying homeworks and getting low self-esteem geeks to code for her. Then I realized that as an aspiring InfoSec guy, lazy idiots coding is good for business.

programmed a three page website at 2 am in my room, on my phone, because i was too lazy to walk to the next room and get my laptop

Hiring junior devs is a game of Russian roulette.

You can get some one who is smart and loves coding. In this case stack, limitations etc don’t matter and experience will be great for junior and the rest of the team

Or it will be a lazy person who watched 5 videos and think to be better than everyone else. 95% of juniors are these fuckers. Takes about 1 week to find out and fire… which starts the 3 months recruiting loop again.

Tl;Dr - It started as an escape, carried on as fun, then as a way to be lazy, and finally as a way of life. Coding has defined and shaped my entire life from the age of nine.

When I was nine I was playing a game on my ZX spectrum and accidentally knocked the keyboard as I reached over to adjust my TV. Incredibly parts of it actually made a little sense to me and got my curiosity. I spent hours reading through that code, afraid to turn the Spectrum off in case I couldn't get back to it. Weeks later I got hold of a book of example code to copy out to do various things like making patterns on the screen. I was amazed by it. You told it what to do, and it did it! (don't you miss the days when coding worked like that?) I was bitten by the coding bug (excuse the pun) and I'd got it bad! I spent many late nights on that thing, escaping from a difficult home life. People (especially adults) were confusing, and in my experience unpredictable. When you did things wrong they shouted at you and threatened to take you away, or ignored you completely. Code never did that. If you did something wrong, it quietly let you know and often told you exactly what was wrong. It wasn't because of shifting expectations or a change of mood or anything like that. It was just clean logic, simple cause and effect.

I get my first computer a year later: an IBM XT that had been discarded by a company and was fitted with a key on the side to turn it on. With the impressive noise it made it really was like starting an engine. Whole most kids would have played with the games, I spent my time playing with batch scripts and writing very simple text adventures. And discovering what "format c:" does. With some abuse and threatened violence I managed to get windows running on it. Windows 2.1 I think it was.

At 12 I got a Gateway 75 running Windows 95. Over the next few years I do covered many amazing games: ROTT, Doom, Hexen, and so on. Aside from the games themselves, I was fascinated by the way computers could be linked together to play together (this was still early days for the Web and computers networked in a home was very unusual). I also got into making levels for Doom, Heretic, and years later Duke Nukem 3D (pretty sure it was heretic; all I remember is the nightmare of trying to write levels entirely by code!). I enjoyed re-scripting some of the weapons and monsters to behave differently. About this time I also got into HTML (I still call this coding, but not programming), C, and java. I had trouble with C as none of the examples and tutorial code seemed to run properly under a Windows environment. Similar for my very short stint with assembly. At some point I got a TI-83 programmable calculator and started rewriting my old batch script games on it, including one "Gangster Lord" game that had the same mechanics as a lot of the Facebook games that appeared later (do things, earn money, spend money to buy stuff to do more things). Worried about upcoming exams, I also made a number of maths helper apps, including a quadratic equation solver that gave the steps, and a fake calculator reset to smuggle them into my exams. When the day came I panicked and did a proper reset for fear of being caught.

At 18 I was convinced I was going to be a professional coder as I started a degree in Computer Science. Three months later I dropped out after a bunch of lectures teaching what input and output devices were and realising we were only going to be taught Java and no C++. I started a job on the call centre of a big company, but was frustrated with many of the boring and repetitive tasks we had to do. So I put my previous knowledge to use, and quickly learned VBA to automate tasks. It wasn't long before I ended up promoted to Business Analyst where I worked on a great team building small systems in Office, SAS, and a few other tools.

I decided to retrain in psychology, so left the job I was in and started another degree. During my work and placements my skills came in use a number of times to simplify and automate tasks. I finished my degree, then took a job as a teaching assistant while I worked out what I wanted to do next and how to pay for it. Three years later I've ended up IT technican at the school, responsible for the website, teaching a number of Computing lessons each week, and unofficial co-coordinator for Computing as a subject. I also run a team of ten year old Digital Leaders who I am training in online safety and as technical experts; I am hoping to inspire them to a future in coding. In September I'll be starting teacher training with a view to becoming a Computing specialist teacher. Oh, and I'm currently doing a course in Android Development in my free time.

And this all started with an accidental knock on the keyboard of a ZX Spectrum.

my mind is multithreaded but can not physically execute more than one thread at a time.

i.e. i want to say 5 sentences in the same time bc im too lazy to wait and say them one by one after a specified delay of time, so i fuck myself over while speaking.

like atomic regions, i bust a few words from time to time from different sentences i have in mind and it ends up not making any sense to what im saying, but it does in my head.

so this is what too much covfefe and sleepless coding nights does to people

I messed up carelessly in production. Learnt how SQL queries bite you in the ass when it knows you are under pressure.

Was hosting an online quiz kinda thing during my college techfest. Tens of thousands of people participating.

Using MySQL as database and thousands of queries were being executed. Everyone were pretty excited as the event just opened up.

None of the teams could solve one particular level. Turns out the solution was wrong and was asked by the organisers to change the solution for that particular level. Usual stuff, right?

Was too lazy to open up the web UI for the back office and so, straight ahead logged in to the MySQL server and ran the UPDATE query on the table consisting of the solutions.

It had been a couple of hours and the organisers came to me with a weird problem. There were no changes in the scoreboard for the last two hours. Everyone were stuck wherever they were. Weird, right?

I then realized.

Fk.

In that dreaded query, I had only run

UPDATE 'qa' SET answer = 'something'

leaving out the where clause, specifying the question to update, like

WHERE qno=13

As a result, solutions to all the questions were updated to the same answer. After hastily fixing everything back, I had the dreaded conversation.

Org: What was the problem?

Me: It was the cache.

Org: Damn thing. Always messes up.

Me: *sheepishly* yeah

Probably the most embarrassing moment in my life, wrt coding 😑

Just read an article that really grinds my gears. Its about coding in other languages. Not programming languages, but literally other languages.

Btw I learned to code in Spanish and I'm not against coding in programming languages using variable names in other languages.

That's fine.

What pissed me off was that the author claimed that we should be able to code Fucking JavaScript in SWAHILI or other languages available. What kind of PC bullshit is that!

Coding is barely fucking readable and now we have to make standards for Multilanguage support. Just learn the less than 60 reserved words you lazy fuck and code with them! I leaned to code with shitty tutorials in Spanish and theres no 1000x resources out there and this author claims you can't code unless you know english.

Granted. It's easier but wtf not just learn it. When I coded in Java in Spanish, I didn't know wtf a Class was or ags meant. So what. I memorized that shit. How? By coding!

Why bring this PC shit to programming? The author thinks there are few programmers bc we don't support fucking SWAHILI in JavaScript. Fuck no!

Now if you want to support this initiative. Think of this,

...legacy code

...in 32+ languages.

Have fun debugging this thing.

I fucking nailed my c exam.
Had to write C on paper today. Fuck my uni for that. But I think I aced it. I coded C for weeks and hopefully finally payed off.
Fuck coding on paper though. They are just too lazy to make something digital. But man at least let me get some compiler messages. It's not like anyone codes without compiler messages anymore.

I fucking hate chained methods. Ok, not all of them. Query things like array.where.first... that stuff is ok.

Specially if it's part of the std lib of a lang, which would be probably written by a very competent coder and under scrutiny.
But if you're not that person, chances are you'll produce VASTLY inferior code.

I'm talking about things like:
expect(n).to.be(x).and.not(y)

And the reason I don't like it is because it's all fine and dandy at first.

But once you get to the corner cases, jesus christ, prepare to read some docpages.

You end up reading their entire fucking docs (which are suboptimal sometimes) trying to figure if this fucking dsl can do what you need.

Then you give up and ask in a github issue. And the dev first condescends you and then tells you that the beautiful eden of code he created doesn't let you do what you want.

The corner cases usually involve nesting or some very specific condition, albeit reasonable.

This kind of design is usually present in testing or validation js libraries. And I hate all of those for it.

If you want a modern js testing lib that doesn't suck ass, check avajs. It's as simple as testing should be.

No magic globals, no chaining, zero config. Fuck globals forced by libs.

But my favorite thing about it that is I can put a breakpoint wherever the fuck I want and the debugger stops right fucking there.

Code is basically lines of statements, that's it, and by overusing chaining, by encouraging the grouping of dozens of statements into one, you are preventing me from controlling these statements on MY code.

As an end dev, I only expect complexity increases to come from the problems themselves rather than from needlessly "beautified" apis.

When people create their own shitty dsl, an image comes to my mind of an incoherent rambling man that likes poetry a lot and creates his own martial art, which looks pretty but will get your ass kicked against the most basic styles of fighting.

I fucking hate esoteric code.

Even if I had to execute a list of functions, I'd rather send them in an array instead of being able to chain them because:
a) tree shaking would spare from all the functions i didn't import
b) that's what fucking arrays are for, to contain several things.

This bad style of coding is a result of how low the barrier to code in higher level langs are.

As a language or library gets easier to use you might think that's a positive thing. But at the same time it breeds laziness.

Js has such a low learning curve that it attacts the wrong kind of devs, the lazy, the uninspired, the medium.com reader, the "i just care about my paycheck" ones.

Someone might think that by bashing bad js devs I'm trying to elevate myself.

That'd be extremely stupid. That's like beating a retarded blind man in a game and then saying "look, I'm way better than this retarded blind man".

I'm not on a risky point of view, just take a stroll down npmjs.com. That place is a landfill. Not really npm's fault, in fact their search algorithm is good.

It's just the community.

Every lang has a ratio of competence. Of competent to incompetent devs.

You have the lang devs and most intelligent lib devs at the top. At the bottom you have the bottom.

Well js has a horrible ratio. I wouldn't be shocked to find out that most js devs still consider using import or await the future.

You could say that js improved a lot, that it was way worse beforr. But I hate chaining now, and i hated back then!

On top of this, you have these blog web companies, sucking the "js tutorial" business tit dry, pumping out the most obscenely unprofessional and bar lowering tutorials you can imagine, further capping the average intelligence of most js devs.

And abusing SEO while they're at it, littering the entire web with copy paste content.

Why am I such an average ?

It's just a sad realisation. Nobody cares but I wanna send this out there, just to write thoughts.. I am 18 in 3rd year of high school (grammar school so nothing IT related, basically waste of time) and in IT I'm all self taught but I feel like I could be better if I just didn't [something]..

I feel like I wanna learn so many things but when I look at you, it seems like a common problem in the IT sphere so hey, average guy joining the club.

I also feel dumb when programming. I didn't manage to learn C++ in it's entirety because to really accomplish something, you've got so many ways to do it and finding the best one requires deep understanding of the tools you've got at your disposal with the language and I feel like I'm not capable of this(self learn, in school/Uni that's different story).. But many (most) of you are. I've tried many coding challenges and when I got it working, I just saw how someone did it in one line just by layering functions that I've never heard of..

Also, we've got kinda specific national competition here in many fields including IT for high schools.. And the winners always do sometimes like "AI driven Life simulation" or "Self flying drone made from ATMega from scratch with 3D simulation in C# to it" or "Game engine" or whatever shit and it's always from grammar schools and never IT related schools.. They are like me. Maybe someone helped them, I don't know, but they are just so far away from me while I'm here struggling to get the basic level of math for any kind of machine learning..

Yeah I've written Neural Network from scratch in C but meh, honestly it's pretty basic stuff .. I'd rather understand derivatives which we're going to learn next year and I'm too lazy to learn it from khan academy because I always learn something else.. Like processing (actually codetrain started teaching tensorflow so that might be the light for me...) Or VHDL (guys you can create your own chip / CPU from scratch and it's not even hard and OMFG it's so fucking cool , full adder done yay) or RPi or commodore 64 assembly or game development with Godot and just meh..

I mean, this sounds exactly like not knowing what to do and doing nothing in the end. That was me like 6-12 months ago. Now I'm managing to pick 2-3 things and focus them and actually feel the progress.

But I lost track of the original point.. I didn't do anything special, every time I'm programming something, everyone does it better and I feel dumb. I will probably never do anything special, everyone around says "He's still learning he's genius" but they have no idea.

I mean, have you seen one of the newest videos on Google's YouTube channel (I openly hate them, but I will keep that away for now), something like "Sarah story" ? It's about girl that apparently didn't care about IT but self learned tensorflow on high school. I think it may be bullshit (like ALL of their videos ) but it's probably just fancied, not complete lie.

And again, here I am. I now C but I'm incapable of learning to program good which most of you did and are now doing for living. I'm incapable to do anything cool, just understanding what everybody else did and replicating it. I'm incapable of being clever.

Sorry, just misusing devrant to vent a bit

Worked as a student in a big company. Just doing data entry and checking product data. It was a nice part time job at the same time with computer science study. After a year I asked for something else and switched to the Android Team. I said I could do a little bit of Java and wrote for another half year Unit Tests. That was the point where I really learned coding and got experienced. Would never learned so much in my study because I was lazy. Now I can call me a Android Developer. Still love the company for giving me this opportunity.

Well it's a bit long but worth reading, two crazy stories in one rant:

So there are 2 things to consider as being my first job. If entrepreneurship counts, when I was 16 my developer friend and I created a small local music magazine website. We had 2 editors and 12 writers, all music enthusiasts of more or less our age. We used a CMS to let them add the content. We used a non-profit organization mentorship and got us a mentor which already had his exit, and was close to his next one. The guy was purely a genius, he taught us all about business plans, advertising, SEO, no-pay model for the young journalists (we promised to give formal journalist certificates and salary when the site grows up)
We hired a designer, we hired a flash expert to make some advertising campaigns and started filling the site with content.

Due to our programming enthusiasm we added to the raw CMS some really cool automation: We scanned our country's radio charts each week using a cron job and the charts' RSS, made a bot to search the songs on youtube and posted the first search result as an embedded video using some reg-exps. This was one of the most fun coding times I've had. Doing these crazy stuff with none to little prior knowledge really proved me I can do anything with the power of will.

Then my partner travelled to work in an internship in the Netherlands and I was too lazy to continue it on my own and it closed, not so surprisingly for a 16 years old slacker boy.

Then the mentor offered my real first job. He had a huge forum (14GB of historical SQL) but it was dying, the CMS version was very old and he wanted me to upgrade it to the latest. It didn't seem hard at first, because there were very clear instructions in the CMS website on how to do that. However, the automation upgrade scripts didn't work well because the forum owners added some raw code (not MVC plugins but bad undocumented code) and some columns to the SQL tables. I didn't give up and decided to migrate between the versions without the scripts. I opened a new CMS and started learning by heart all of the database columns so I can make a script to migrate between the versions. The first tests ran forever because processing 14GB of data on a single home computer is not a task meant to be done. I didn't give up. I made an old forum and compared the table structures and code with my mentor's. I think I didn't exhaustively finish this solution, the task was too big on my shoulders and eventually I gave up. I still owe thanks for that mentor for teaching me how to bare with seemingly (and practically) impossible tasks, for learning not to fear from being a leader and an entrepreneur and also for paying me in time even though I didn't deliver anything 😂

Going through university I was known as the programmer guy, so I sometimes did coding assignments for my lazy ass class mates for money.

Does this make me a bad person?

!dev

Sorry if this is a bad read, pretty new to devRant and writing in general.

I can't help but think and think of how much I fucked up my opportunities to completely change my life/financial status a couple of times. Damn.

A few years back (it was 2009, I think) I was playing Diablo II online, helped some random guy get through the hard levels. Normally, in such situation the lower lvl player allowed the higher level guy to grab the valuable boss loot; however this time the guy except sharing the loot with me asked me if I want his spare 2000 bitcoin. I asked if it's of any value, he said "not really".

I said I'd contact him later, when I figure out how this thing works and how to setup a wallet.

Guess what, I was too lazy and forgot about this thing completely. Then we lost contact.

In 2010, I made a comeback to bitcoin, but instead of buying it, I downloaded the bitcoin client, the blockchain (it was 800 mb in size, I remember) and have been contributing by running it on my PC for like a year.

Finally decided to get it ~3 years ago. Bought 2.5 BTC for 400$.

Was holding it, until I fell for the "free OmniseGO" scam and somebody stole them off me.

All of these can't get out of my head.
I visit coinmarketcap literally every hour to see how much I could have now. My girlfriend, friends, family, all fail to cheer me up. I still made a pretty good deal buying 5.5 ETH for 45$ and thats like 2500$ soon, its nice but this much I can make by coding

Shit, what do I do to stop being stressed except for seeing a psychologist.

May my failure make you smile today

Had to work with a lazy, stupid idiot who (literally) couldn't declare an empty string. Got in via nepotism and not only were there no basics but also no willingness to improve.
Something tells me that throwing someone out shouldn't be a pleasant thing to do but hell, I'm so happy that we can finally stop carrying that piece of dead weight and get back to pure coding without having to teach Programming 101 on the side.

I tend to do spaghetti coding when the client is pressuring me on their software, and then after some time they'll become stagnant which basically gives me space to breathe and do code but then the I'd be too lazy to reconstruct the whole thing and just continue until it becomes one big blob of monstrosity.

!dev

I have this urge to get better at coding and software architecture and design. But fuck me if I'm not lazy about it.
All these crazy good books and lectures and here I am, doing jackshit to improve. Can't even finish my own personal projects. Bah.

I know how I'm supposed to go about it, how to keep engaged in a cycle of personal betterment. I lack self-discipline to do it though... Tried meditation for a time, but haven't really stuck to it. Currently trying to follow stoics (Seneca, Marcus Aurelius and some others), but the mindset is not so easy to adopt, and the practical philosophies even harder.

Oh well. Life is hard. Blah-blah-blah. Thanks for reading. Just wanted to vent, really.

Recently I started coding a project for my school with two of my friends. The first one is a person which spends most of his time reading 4chan and joking about Pope, you know this kind of person. The second, Michael, is a really good partner for coding, he's just an opposite of Jedrzej, the first one. Jedrzej used to call people 'cancer' and this kind of sh**. Lately Michael said, that he's mother has breast cancer and he left our conversation on Facebook. Later I told Jedrzej, that he has to tell Michael 'sorry', but he wrote something stupid (doesn't matter what) and the situation only went wrong. At least I told them that they have to bury the hatchet and start working. The only problem here is that Michael and I made 99.7% of our project, Jedrzej only updated README and shared his VPS. I'm a full-stack dev, but our project is on laravel and I don't know what kind of sorcery is this framework so Michael does the back-end. My question to all of you who read this rant - what should I do with lazy Jedrzej?

#noestimates

I fucking hate doing estimates. It stresses me out. I just did it, for a requirement about migration. I'm on my way to a fight now with the PO, because "the estimated time is too long". There was an agreement that deliverables were not to have extensive documentation and unit testing will only cover 30% of each use case (I know, stfu), but that's gone so I have to do the whole thing. I estimated 160 hours coding time, 40% of that for docs and 50 for testing. I'm standing by it.

All that stuff aside, what bothers me the most about estimates is that there's lazy motherfuckers who say shit like "I can have their RESTful ws in 2 days, but I said a month, because fuck it" and generate a win-win situation for them and their company, because the client - practically everytime - will just argue for the task to be completed in barely 10% less of the estimated time, accept the proposal and be happy waiting, the developer will fucking dawdle and the company will be paid for more hours than it deserves. Ugh.

Fuck estimates.

I am in-fucking-love with myself and packages contributed to OSS communities!

TL;DR: inotify is great and I am lazy bitch so I wrote a script to kinda do my work

I took some time to write a script that takes a folder with images (Screenshots) and move them somewhere else with the last modify time as their new name (something like "Screenshot_DATE_TIME.png) because my current screenshot software for Windows (Lightshot) only saves their screenshots like this: Screenshot_<Incrementing Number>.
Once in a while I'd like to move those images away to "clean up" that folder, but I always have to create a new folder like "OLD" but that already exists so it becomes "OLD_1" which.. also existed up to "OLD_3" and I finally grew sick of it!

2ish hours later my Perl script now automatically gets triggered by inotify once a new file (Screenshot for that matter) is written or moved to the Screenshot folder and auto-fucking-matically moves it to the "new" folder with the new filename so I don't have the issue of having "OLD_1" .. "OLD_INFINITY" anymore.

Little things / scripts like these really make me feel good about what myself and my coding skills (I know, this is a somewhat trivial task but still a great experience)

I called it TextPaste, or was it VidPaste 🤔. Anyways, it was an attempt to promote my laziness in copying code from YouTube videos or images by using text recognition. I called my coding style "Lazy Art," 😂. It was completed....sorta. I mean, it worked sometimes....

I've been a frontend engineer at 6 companies for the last 10 years. Both big and small companies currently at the largest I've ever worked for. I'm totally over it. Maybe burnt out is the term. I have zero motivation to do any work or coding. I'm not a lazy person. I love working, solving problems, learning new things. I'm just sick of what I do. I used to love following all the newest tech trends, following devs on twitter, checking hacker news and creating side projects. Now I feel like my job has lost all that joy and excitement. I work remote and have been for the past 3 years. I wonder how much of that, not having any social feedback and interaction around the job has attributed to me feeling like this. All the JS frameworks suck. PR reviews, process, requirements; I'm just tired of everything. Has anyone else experienced this? If so, what did you do? Were you able to find the passion for programming again?

I just love code-golf, I only started recently, but sometimes it's nice to fuck all coding conventions, missuse lazy evaluation and abuse scope leaking.
I'm normally really tidy with formating and whitespace placement, but code-golf is also a testing field for uncommen constructs and I think it can give deeper insights into a language.

I don't like languages specifically for code-golf though, these are just stupid and no fun (at least for me).

Worked all weekend with a couple friends on a side project and it's finally done. A shame I had to pull all the weight and fix my friend's lazy coding.

And then he had the nerve to try to charge me for the chili he made use for dinner one night. Asshole.

that BS thing you do when your too lazy to code and just copied a code from an existing class and renamed the vars even if it does not work or not being used just to show your boss that your working hard as f*

We use at our company one of the largest Python ORM and dont code ourselfs on it, event tough I can code. Its some special contract which our General Manager made, before we as Devs where in the Project and everything is provided from the external Company as Service. The Servers are in our own Datacenter, but we dont have access.

We have our Consultants (Project Manager) as payd hires and they got their own Devs.

Im in lead of Code Reviews and Interfaces. Also Im in the "Run" Team, which observes, debuggs and keeps the System alive as 3rd-Level (Application Managers).

What Im trying to achieve is going away from legacy .csv/sftp connections to RestAPI and on large Datasets GraphQL. Before I was on the Project, they build really crappy Interfaces.

Before I joined the Project in my Company, I was a Dev for a couple of Finance Applications and Webservices, where I also did coding on Business critical Applications with high demand Scaling.

So forth, I was moved by my Boss over to the Project because it wasn't doing so well and they needed our own Devs on it.

Alot of Issues/Mistakes I identified in the Software:
- Lots of Code Bugs
- Missing Process Logic
- No Lifecycle
- Very fast growing Database
- A lot of Bad Practices

Since my switch I fixed alot of bugs, was the man of the hour for fixing major Incidents and so on so forth. A lot of improvements have been made. Also the Team Spirit of 15+ People inside the Project became better, because they could consult me for solutions/problems.

But damn I hate our Consultants. We pay them and I need to sketch the concepts, they are to dumb for it. They dont understand Rest or APIs in general, I need to teach them alot about Best Practices and how to Code an API. Then they question everything and bring out a crooked flawed prototype back to me.

WE F* PAY THEM FOR BULLCRAP! THEY DONT EVEN WRITE DOCUMENTATION, THEY ARE SO LAZY!

I even had a Meeting with the main Consultant about Performance Problems and how we should approach it from a technical side and Process side. The Software is Core Business relevant and its running over 3 Years. He just argumented around the Problem and didnt provide solutions.

I confronted our General Manager a couple of times with this, but since 3 Years its going on and on.

Im happy with my Team and Boss, they have my back and I love my Job, but dealing with these Nutjobs of Consultants is draining my nerves/energy.

Im really am at my wits end how to deal with this anymore? Been pulling trough since 1 year. I wanna stay at my company because everything else besides the Nutjob Consultants is great.

I told my Boss about it a couple of times and she agrees with me, but the General Manager doesnt let go of these Consultants.

Even when they fuck up hard and crash production, they fucking Bill us... It's their fault :(

how lazy can you be
```
const { available, quantity, deliveryDate } = {
available: data?.getStockLevels?.[0]?.available || "Unavailable",
quantity: 0,
deliveryDate: data?.getStockLevels?.[0]?.deliveryDate,
};
```

Can anyone tell how you yourself to start coding please 😢especially when you you have alot alot alooot of coding that waiting you and you being lazy about it!😢

FUCK ME IN MY INDICES.
FUCK THE GPUS IN THEIR INDICES.

I mean... I understand (roughly) why the meshes are sent to gpu in this form, but at the same time...
...there's a reason why first thing I did when I was coding my procedural geometry generation library, was abstracting away all of that stuff...

...sadly, as many useful things, when I was looking for that lib on the start of this contract, I couldn't find it. and I was like "doesn't matter, this is a simple thing, using the library would be just a lazy overkill anyway".

well, fuck.
two hours of playing around with two fucking triangles, trying to figure out which indexes are pointing to the correct vertices in a list containing FOUR outline paths.
(lower inner, upper inner, lower outer, upper outer, exacly in this order).

i mean, yeah, it's actually pretty straightforward stuff... for someone not as dumb as me =D
you just have two offsets, one that jumps you to start of the upper path, another that jumps you to the start of the outer path, then it's just
0 + upOffset to get the vertex extruded upwards from the zeroth of the inner path, or
0 + outOffset to get the zeroth from the outer outline, or
0 + outOffset + upOffset, to get the one extruded from zeroth outer vertex...

and so on.
simple stuff, then you just replace the zero with loop control var, put them in the right order, and voilá! walls!
except... whatever, why am I describing in such detail, not necessary, you're not my rubber duck =D

in short, figuring out which fuckin vertex is which, when the list contains ...well, any number of points, and you need to plug the gap between last and first points of the paths, where you need to wrap around the list...

...has proven to be surprisingly hard for me.

funny how much I love doing these things with meshes, despite how bad I am at doing them, which makes me hate doing them despite loving it =D

Visual studio code

I usually use IDEs and am in love with everything made by Jetbrains. I am also to lazy to setup dual boot on my pc, so I live with windows 10. After one of the recent downgrades Microsoft distribute, they shipped this lightweight text editor called visual studio code with it.

It lied to me, that it's a good editor for coding C. It even tells me that I can compile and execute the code from inside the editor, similar to vim. I went to the settings and found a dark theme, for the best best feature this "editor"has to offer.

I give it a try by opening a source file with a normal double click. Editor gets focused, but the code is nowhere to be seen. Retrying conforms my, that this piece of shit is literally not able to open files UNLESS you drag and drop them into the editor. HOW FUCKING USELESS IS THAT?

Next I want to compile the program. Guess what, that functionality was not given or at least I could not find it (same goes with the manual)

Even with dark theme it burns my eyes to use this editor. There are almost no useful shortcuts. The functionality is not even comparable to vim. I always thought eclipse was bad, until this shit was installed.

It might work well for other people. Maybe it has functions, that just don't work on my pc, but from what I've seen: visual studio in general and especially that editor feels like Microsoft trying to replace the toolet paper with sandpaper.

Programmer friend: Dood, do this and this and show it to me, I'll say if it's good.
Me (noob): Okay, sure.

*next week*

F: So why did you stop coding?
M: Why do you think so?
F: You didn't show me your project in a week.
M: I was lazy?
F: LAZY?!?!

Today was a rather funny day in school. School starts for me at 13:40 because our timetable planners are so qualified for this job.

First 2hrs: Physics, fine its good

Second 2hrs: Discrete Maths (however you want to call it)
Goal is to write a text (30 pages, 10, etc all those standard settings). Teacher prefers Latex over word, but we can do it in word if we want. We could choose a topic, I took primes because it looked the best. I decided to use latex because I'm a fetishist and it simply looks better in the end. A classmate was arguing with our teacher about ides: texmaker vs kile. And I'm like "I use vim". So my teacher is like kk

Later that class, when we actually started doing stuff I started the ssh session to my server because I don't know any good c++ compilers for win and I'm too lazy to get a portable version of cygwin (or whatever its called). So in my server I open vim and start coding my tool for Fermat Primes (Fermatsche Primzahlen, too lazy to actually translate). And this teacher seriously is the best teacher I ever met in my life. Usually teachers are like " dude r u hakin' the school server?" and I'm like bruh its just vim and I'm doing it this way because I cannot code on your PC coz I can't install a compiler. And this teacher is like "oh hey you actually use vi, all cool kids used it in 2000. I first though u were kidding and stuff..." And we continued talking about more of stuff like that and I have to say that this is the first teacher that actually understands me. Phew

Now I'm going to continue writing my 30 pages piece of trash latex doc and hope it'll end good

Today I was orders to check out one of our applications. Accounting said that the Twilio bill was constantly increasing even if we do not get any new clients. In 10 min I found out what is the problem. All calls are recorded and stored in Twilio, which charges handsomely for such service.
Developers instead of downloading those recording to our data lake, use Twilio as storage, because no coding was involved.
Company lost around 30k dollars this year and around 10k-20k in previous ones, because someone was lazy to spend few days to download mp3 from url.

2 Items in Rant: Technical Lead -> Development Manager, and Boss giving me his administrative work.

1. For the last few years I've had the role of a Development Manager. I've always been very hands on and even when going from a Technical Lead to a DM I was pretty active in the code: not coding every single day but still got into it, shifted towards design and architecture type things, etc. For the most part I've enjoyed it, but with each passing year (4 years now) I feel like my boss is pusing me further and further away from being Technical. Like now he's got me making some spreadsheet because he's too lazy to do it himself.

2. Few weeks ago it was setting up meetings for him, basically turning me more and more into his glorified administrative assistant. I know Senior Leadership is so goddamn busy they can't setup their own meetings, but come on. Half the time he's ranting to me about someone and telling me to tell this person this or that. I got a suggestion: you could try telling them yourself?

I feel like if I stay at this company much longer I'm going to lose all of my technical skills and continue to get taken advantage of by my boss and the rest of the senior leadership team who couldn't talk technical and code talk if it bit them in the ass.

Too lazy to resume coding. Professionally slack off by tidying up codes. Using Beautify.

Me being lazy, I wasn't able to end any learning series. Tried again with Java using YouTube videos. Feel asleep after 30 minutes, but the entire series kept running in the background.

After waking up I could understand great part of object based coding.

I seriously think that thanks to that now I know how to code. Like magic.

I need to practice coding. But I'm too lazy 😥 what do I do?

ok this may look like a lazy ass beginner crying out for spoon feeding( which it kinda is), but i want some real industrial training in non documented Android coding.

For last 2 years i have been reading tons of Android articles and documentation on "how to use this library", "how to add this feature", "what this function of this class does", but not much about how to use it efficiently, like the way its used in industry.

When I interned with a startup, all they wanted from me was to push new design changes, fix layout bugs and work as fastly as i could. I had no time to understand their core code, which had so many things that i could have learned : those mvp/mvvm design/architecture patterns, dependency injections, kotlin , coroutines, state management designs, data bindings, eventbuses and handling, and VIPER,RIBS (I mean, not everything was particularly in their code, i picked up a few keywords from here n there)... a lot of stuff that is used by many apps for their codebase.
I can read up these stuff by myself, but i always end up feeling bored coz frankly, i got no big/valuable project to implement it upon and feel excited about it. I feel that open source projects from OSS companies could be my window, but their chat spaces are also mostly empty to discuss/get some guidance.

I want some specific training about these. Can you guys provide any online/offline course/company training/books in this subject, the best practices?

Building an export in our app for shapefiles; ancient and completely outdated format. Currently there are dozens of better formats available. Unfortunately our clients are too dumb/lazy to learn how to work with other formats. Moreover, the irony is that many of their issues will be solved by just using any other format. Saving tons of frustration and hatred towards me for things I have zero control over.

Anyway, as I am coding I run into many ridiculous and well known shapefile issues.

Me goes to stackoverflow to find hacks

Me finds many posts with a title like "how to <..> shapefiles"

Me finds the same solution for every issue: "Don't use shapefiles"

Clients, please, get your shit together. The whole Internet hates people like you for using shapefiles.

Im a student programmer pretending to know his shit and earlier today I was coding javascript and man I thought I know that language already. Turns out I dont know shit and it had me searching how tos on google. Bless that search engine though for giving me results I didnt even know that I need. Lesson of the day, just continue pretending shit cause ya gotta live life.

PS sorry for those passionate about programming, I am not worthy.

PPS I actually believe I can do better I am just a lazy ass piece of shit who's still contemplating whether I should be really all doing this shit

PPSS I need motivation help

coding all day long and then realising that you haven't commented anything...

after all, deciding not to comment your code because you are lazy and sure that you will know what you did in every single line of code when you were writing it... and then 2-3 month later blaming yourself for not commenting when you have to fix bugs or rewrite the code! damn!

So i bribed a fellow dev/friend who HATES php and Magento... to help me grind out a Magento site while im super behind on a bunch of crap that's mostly boring administrative bs (#ReluctantlyInCharge)

He knew I was coding in python several times over the past several months... yet, despite my near constant griping of formatting bs and high preference of basically anything that doesnt require readability-esq formatting... he apparently didnt get it.

I need to make a quick splash page with a timer on it (other cool elements that i dont think ive ever seen done but i figured why not... weird shit is totally on brand here... like scripting page elements to change and see if people catch on... in very basic ways)...

I know js plenty... but I'd likely have looked up the syntax, was lazy, he loves js (for the intended purpose... he does a lot of blockchain dev) so i asked if hed write me a quick timer line cuz... well im lazy.

He totally overcomplicated it and sends me a page he typed up incl html header. Timer was 3 short block/lines with semicolons... i laughed and wondered why he did all that instead of just the little js... he didnt know either. I told him as a courtesy id make sure to keep the js formatting as he wrote it instead of 1 line...

He sends me 2 examples of a js timer in 1 line... like 1semicolon... i had to show him what i actually meant... 3 'lines' with semicolons on 1 visual line...

He was stunned, then realised i must really hate python

Hey guys, first time writing here.
Around 8 months ago I joined a local company, developing enterprise web apps. First time for me working in a "real" programming job: I've been making a living from little freelance projects, personal apps and private programming lessons for the past 10 years, while on the side I chased the indie game dev dream, with little success. Then, one day, realized I needed to confront myself with the reality of 'standard' business, where the majority of people work, or risk growing too old to find a stable job.
I was kinda excited at first, looking forward to learning from experienced professionals in a long-standing company that has been around for decades. In the past years I coded almost 100% solo, so I really wanted to learn some solid team practices, refine my automated testing skills, and so on. Also, good pay, flexible hours and team is cool.

Then... I actually went there.

At first, I thought it was me. I thought I couldn't understand the code because I was used reading only mine.
I thought that it was me, not knowing well enough the quirks of web development to understand how things worked.
I though I was too lazy - it was shocking to see how hard those guys worked: I saw one guy once who was basically coding with one hand, answering a mail with another, all while doing some technical assistance on the phone.

Then I started to realize.

All projects are a disorganized mess, not only the legacy ones - actually the "green" products are quite worse.
Dependency injection hell: it seems like half of the code has been written by a DI fanatic and the other half by an assembly nostalgic who doesn't really like this new hippy thing called "functions".
Architecture is so messed up there are methods several THOUSANDS of lines long, and for the love of god most people on the team don't really even know WHAT those methods are for, but they're so intertwined with the rest of the codebase no one ever dares to touch them.
No automated test whatsoever, and because of the aforementioned DI hell, it's freaking hard to configure a testing environment (I've been trying for two days during my days off, with almost no success).
Of course documentation is completely absent, specifications are spread around hundreds of mails and opaquely named files thrown around personal shared folders, remote archives, etc.

So I rolled my sleeves up and started crunching as the rest of the team. I tried to follow the boy-scout rule, when the time and scope allowed. But god, it's hard. I'm tired as fuck, I miss working on my projects, or at least something that's not a complete madness. And it's unbearable to manually validate everything (hundreds of edge cases) by hand.

And the rest of the team acts like it's all normal. They look so at ease in this mess. It's like seeing someone quietly sitting inside a house on fire doing their stuff like nothing special is going on.

Please tell me it's not this way everywhere. I want out of this. I also feel like I'm "spoiled", and I should just do like the others and accept the depressing reality of working with all of this. But inside me I don't want to. I developed a taste for clean, easy maintainable code and I don't want to give it up.

Will Apple announce during WWDC fixing well known Macbook bug? When I turn on my Mac I'm becoming lazy and don't want to start coding.

When you are lazy to do a task that takes 20 min and spend 3 hours coding it. Productivity.

Was busy with Terraform and infrastructure/cloud topics during the last months. Now I want to start coding some tools and apps again. Can't find a point to start with. Also I think that I am just too lazy to boilerplate everything...

Literally any of my many creative coding projects that are just lazy prototypes right now.

Published on BBC, GCHQ have set the challenge below. Would make a fun simple coding challenge. My thought is to brute-force, is there a more efficient way to solve it?

"Take the digits 1,2,3 up to 9 in numerical order and put either a plus sign or a minus sign or neither between the digits to make a sum that adds up to 100. For example, one way of achieving this is: 1 + 2 + 34 - 5 + 67 - 8 + 9 = 100, which uses six plusses and minuses. What is the fewest number of plusses and minuses you need to do this?"

Edit: disclosure: I believe the challenge has passed already and I'm too lazy to enter anyway so don't worry about me or anyone stealing ideas!

M dream project would be an AI that codes with me. I would train it to write clean and nice code.

Because I don't want to stop coding. And an AI that fully developes on its own is meh.

Finally no annoying lazy students anymore which refuse to follow fucking style guides

Man, it's hard to pick up code again once you've slacked on it for months.

One of the MS libraries for directory services has a known memory leak and there is an easy fix for it but rather than fix it, our systems architect decided it was best to just restart the app pool nightly for one of his apps.

I don't get lazy coding. My apps that use the same MS library don't suffer from that problem all because I spend a little time on the code...

And here it comes bois, the famous Monday Morning Mumbling is back, for everyone's pleasure.

Do you remember your uni years, when you had wonderful coding lessons, and you learned sick languages ?

I do aswell, since I'm still in uni.

But why, WHY, IN ALL OF GOD THOUGHTS, DO I STILL HAVE TO TAKE MATHS LESSONS ?

It's my fourth fucking uni year, and I'm still supposed to deal with math lessons which are about what I learned 6 years ago. And guess what ? I still failed the test since I fucking don't understand a single shit in maths.

"Uuuuh if yu wan tu derivate a function u hav to multiply ur derivated function basic expression with the derivate itself lul xDDD so funi"

FUCK OFF DUDES I DON'T GIVE A SINGLE SICK BIRD SHIT ABOUT MATHS. I WASTED THREE YEARS OF MY LIFE LEARNING ABOUT BINARY TREES, MATHEMATICALS WAYS OF SPILLING YOUR CEREAL BOWL WHEN YOU HAVE TO LEAVE IN FIVE MINUTES, NUMERIC WAY OF OPTIMIZE YOUR SINK SPACE WHEN YOU'RE TOO LAZY TO DO THE DISHES, JUST LET ME FUCKING WRITE CODE INSTEAD OF ANNOYING ME WITH UNEXPLAINABLE MATHS SHIT NOW !

I know maths are important, okay ? But I'm so fucking tired of learning this shit again and again and still failing those shitty tests where they only give you maths problems without any other goal than messing with your grades.

Fuck this shit I'm pissed off on so many levels, I wasted tons of money on a private school to enhance my résumé history, and now I'm stuck with some strange "f'(x)" boi that will ruin my year.

RT's appreciated, if you recognised yourself in this story, don't forget to send some biscuits to my postal address.

TL;DR : Why wasting your time on theoritical lessons when you could use your time to learn new dynamic technos, like C++98 ?

Working on writing a Morse interpreter in Java..
I find out I have to initialize a collection of a specific alphabet with unique symbols in it..
I am too lazy to come up with something right now..
And thus I start repeatedly performing the following actions:

down, left, insert apostrophe

for stuff like putting values into my Map<Character, char[]>.

Now my purposefully rhythmic typing sounds like a galloping horse. Tackatack, tackatack, tackatack! ♫

Coding adventures..
Indeed..

What I just had to learn again, if you are the one who brings in (quality) standards in group tasks (like everybody does his stuff until day x, specify image sources, not only Wikipedia Copy & Paste), you are with a 95% probability also the one who more or less works alone on it at the end.
(Works the same with group coding projects where the one person in your group that's able to code relies on you doing most of the work because that person is lazy playing games)

Which is the best IDE or text editor to do coding in Android phones !!!??
Feeling lazy to open the laptop !! 😋

Don't you just fucking love it when you ask a question or report an issue on gitHub, and they back-handedly slap you with a "that's a coding question, do it on SO", and wham they close the issue.
how fucking anal and lazy would you have to be?

So i wrote complex, great WP framework using parts of nette, latte template engin, shit tons of my code, has many usefull features. Is fast, puting barier between me and WP shit. You have no idea how fast my development is now.

Now, i writing eshop component, looking good, working great, is extendable, fast and so.

Reason 1: WP is piece of shit, woocommerce too, CMB has no fucking sense, fuck ACF and many other WP tools.
Reason 2: I'm too lazy to read.

Question: I spent months of coding, looking for ideas, and make tenths implemenations because:

1: WP is piece of shit, woocommerce too, CMB has no fucking sense, fuck ACF and many other WP tools.
2: I'm too lazy to read.

Please decide, i honestly don't know.

Lazy doing any coding today

I have never seen core coding questions here so this is one of my shots in the dark-- this time, because I have a phobia for stackoverflow, and specifically, discussing this objective among wider audience

Here it goes: Ever since elon musk overpriced twitter apis, the 3rd-party app I used to unfollow non-followers broke. So I wrote a nifty crawler that cycles through those following me and fish out traitors who found me unpleasant enough to unfollow. Script works fine, I suspect, because I have a small amount I'm following

The challenge lies in me preemptively trying to delete some of the elements before the dom can overflow. Realistically, you want to do this every 1000 rows or so. The problem is, tampering with the rows causes the page's lazy loader to break. Apparently, it has some indicator somewhere using information on one of the rows to determine details of the next fetch

I've tried doing many things when we reach that batch limit:

1) wiping either the first or last
2) wiping only even rows
3) logging read rows and wiping them when it reaches batch limit
4) Emptying or hiding them
5) Accessing siblings of the last element and wiping them

I've tried adding custom selectors to the incoming nodes but something funny occurs. During each iteration, at some point, their `.length` gets reset, implying those selectors were removed or the contents were transferred to another element. I set the MutationObserver to track changes but it fetches nothing

I hope there are no twitter devs here cuz I went great pains to decipher their classes. I don't want them throwing another cog that would disrupt the crawler. So you can post any suggestions you have that could work and I will try it out. Or if it's impossible to assist without running the code, I will have no choice but to post it here

There are five goofus mfs in my head that tell me terrible, silly solutions, and there's only 1 that is like "yeah maybe you should do that but I'm too lazy to think about it sorry 💁‍♂️". And then when I get to coding I'll have to delete like a whole block bc the other guys lead me off my pre-drawn plan wtf.