Today I was asked to make a quality control checker for work, I gave it the quick name "fuckler", next thing I know I've got a whole greeting banner with the name (pictured)

[Manager comes up behind my workstation and sees it over my shoulder]
I'm panicking.

M: "...Fuckler?"
Me: "Uh"
M: "What does it do?"

[Before I can say anything all the guys around me celebrate how it automates the whole QC]

The manager's whole face lights up and everyones smiling at me
M: "Brilliant!"

No one's even asked me to change the name, I'm genuinely excited to go in tomorrow. I fucking love this.

At least it's easy to debug.

When developers are frustrated with stupid laws 😂😂

lol, nice cookie banner 🤫

The Ascii art of devRant logo, time for new ssh banner for server

The company behind ads on dutch national news sites/tv stations is stopping with tracking ads.

The interesting reason behind that IMO is that they have this very simple 'banner' which asks in a very understandable way whether people want (or not) tracking shit/cookies placed/loaded on their browser.

Apparently 90% of all visitors go for the "No" option so they don't see the point in continuing to try it anymore.

Awesome!

Best banner yet...

devBanner - Create your own devRant Banner

When a restaurant banner gives you an error message.

Setting my ssh banner to an instance of cowsay speaking the navy seal copypasta is one of my best ideas yet

New banner 🤘

Me: How big do you want the banner to be (in pixels)?
Client: Mhhh... do default size

DEFINE 'DEFAULT SIZE' STUPID MORON

When your boss says "more red" on a banner that's already "#ff0000".

"could you please increase the banner width by 1cm?"

a stored XSS vuln in a banner-like component, visible in ALL the pages in the portal. Anyone can attack anyone.

HOWEVER this was not discovered by 3rd-party security specialists during latest security audit. I have escalated this to my manager and got replied that unless client actively requests this to be fixed should I do anything about it.

FFS.. it's only 2 lines of code.. And there's nothing I can do about it.

Eventualy I was transfered to another project. Now it's not my problem anymore.

Working on a project where the coordinator is insisting on using OneDrive. Lost the link he sent out in an email so decided to:

- Google "OneDrive": Eventually brought me to "office.live.com/...." with a view of my settings and apps ... no OneDrive.

- Spent a while using a bit of logic to click around and find it, forgot logic doesn't work well with MS products and ended up on Outlook instead.

- Spent a while searching for the original email with the link, found it, brings me to "...sharepoint.com/....".

- Inside sharepoint (OneDrive?) the banner says "Office 365".

- But the browser tab says OneDrive.

Are Microsoft just afraid of consistency at this point? I mean seriously, pick a name and use it everywhere. Why is that so hard? why is that so complicated?

Guys. Seriously. Take this banner down. I kind of cared -- a WHOLE YEAR AGO.

This isn't the place of modern front end dev. You're obsolete. (This is almost as bad as the Angular 2 rollout!)

So I looked at our dashboard and noticed a banner mentioning scheduled maintenance set for 7:00 AM. And I thought to myself, "I never released an update, and even if I had, the maintenance would be performed 15 minutes after the build finished, not at 7:00 AM." So I emailed my coworkers, asking if they had put up the banner, no, no. I started pulling my hair out trying to figure out what caused this banner to be created. Was there some old job that was just now running? I combed through the server logs, thousands of entries later, and I found the banner was installed by some user with the IP 172.18.0.1...which was the local machine. I went through all the users on the system, running atq to see if anyone had jobs scheduled. And there was one job scheduled, under the root user. At that moment, I legit thought to myself, "have we been hacked? How is that possible?" It's wasn't! Then I looked under /var/spool/atjobs to see what the job actually was. And then I saw it. My weekly updater cron job had installed updates and had scheduled a maintenance window to reboot the system. And I smiled, realizing that my code was now sentient.

If you're going to infect your website with a promo-code-banner. And it includes a close/dismiss button..

DON'T PUT A FUCKING LINK ON SAID BUTTON! JUST FUCKING CLOSE THE BANNER AND STOP WASTING MY PIXELS.

Make your cookies banner have equal "Accept All" and "Reject All" buttons, and I'll probably Accept All.

Bury rejection under a fucking "Manage Cookies" button and I will go out of my way to disable/opt out of every fucking one of them.

Also why the fuck would rejecting all take "a few minutes" but accepting be instantaneous?

Fucking hell.

the banner speaks it for all....

Open nodejs.org

Can you notice that one pixel on the top left side of green banner :-P
I'm not a designer but dude ...

I'm so creative

Yay! 2018 arrived!

Let me say goodbye to 2017 for the last time ever.

Here is 2017 in one banner

The entire fucking internet is an unusable pile of shit. Why is it that every time I click on LITERALLY ANY link on google and I start reading, 2 seconds later the text shifts to an other location because the fucking font loads, 3 seconds later it fucking moves again because a god damn ad just loaded above it, and after all the loading bullshit is done it shoves a fucking cookie banner (that usually covers half the page) and a fucking newsletter popup in my face. This makes it literally impossible to quickly read someting on a website without interruption. It's fucking 2020 and we bout to put a fucking man on mars, yet the technology still isn't advanced enough to make the internet less fucking annoying.

We have to use this tool in work for classifying new and existing projects for GDPR. Long story short you have to fill out a REALLY long questionnaire, then it gets reviewed by someone in legal. The tool will also assign you tasks and suggest actions to common issues (e.g. suggesting a banner to explain cookie policy if you tick a certain box).

I have spent about an hour trying to re-assign the assessment I started, as i'm due to leave the company in a few days, to the guy taking over from me.

1. There is a “generate shareable URL” button, with the ability to click a button that says “replace me with the logged in user who opens this”. All it does is duplicate the name and description fields and send a new copy to that person, with no access to any of my other content or answers.

2. I did find a re-assign button eventually, again all it does it create a duplicate, and throws and error saying names must be unique when I try to save it.

3. While I couldn’t find a way to do that, I did find another button to at least assign the reviewer. It told me i’m forbidden to change the reviewer on assessments i’ve created.

This is THE WORST piece of nonsensical shit on earth. The entire application is absolute garbage and sssssssooooooo slow.

When you first create an assessment it brings you to a page that has all the questions, makes sense right? Wrong. All the questions are in read-only mode, and they are simply there as a "this is what you can expect to see later on", telling you whether or not they will be freeform, multiple choice etc.

The way to actually answer the questions is to click the "start survey" button hidden in the "status" dropdown.

I don't have much advice to anyone around GDPR, but please stay the hell away from TrustArc.

Here is my sweet and peaceful showOff banner. ☺️

My first line of code today 🙈⚠️

```
<div class="corona-banner"></div>
```

I'm going on vacation next week, and all I need to do before then is finish up my three tickets. Two of them are done save a code review comment that amounts to combining two migrations -- 30 seconds of work. The other amounts to some research, then including some new images and passing it off to QA.

I finish the migrations, and run the fast migration script -- should take 10 minutes. I come back half an hour later, and it's sitting there, frozen. Whatever; I'll kill it and start it again. Failure: database doesn't exist. whatever, `mysql` `create database misery;` rerun. Frozen. FINE. I'll do the proper, longer script. Recreate the db, run the script.... STILL GODDAMN FREEZING.

WHATEVER.

Research time.
I switch branches, follow the code, and look for any reference to the images, asset directory, anything. There are none. I analyze the data we're sending to the third party (Apple); no references there either, yet they appear on-device. I scour the code for references for hours; none except for one ref in google-specific code. I grep every file in the entire codebase for any reference (another half hour) and find only that one ref. I give up. It works, somehow, and the how doesn't matter. I can just replace the images and all should be well. If it isn't, it will be super obvious during QA.

So... I'll just bug product for the new images, add them, and push. No need to run specs if all that's changed is some assets. I ask the lead product goon, and .... Slack shits the bed. The outage lasts for two hours and change.

Meanwhile, I'm still trying to run db migrations. shit keeps hanging.

Slack eventually comes back, and ... Mr. Product is long gone. fine, it's late, and I can't blame him for leaving for the night. I'll just do it tomorrow.

I make a drink. and another.
hard horchata is amazing. Sheelin white chocolate is amazing. Rum and Kahlua and milk is kind of amazing too. I'm on an alcoholic milk kick; sue me.

I randomly decide to switch branches and start the migration script again, because why not? I'm not doing anything else anyway. and while I'm at it, I randomly Slack again.

Hey, Product dude messaged me. He's totally confused as to what i want, and says "All I created was {exact thing i fucking asked for}". sfjaskfj. He asks for the current images so he can "noodle" on it and ofc realize that they're the same fucking things, and that all he needs to provide is the new "hero" banner. Just like I asked him for. whatever. I comply and send him the archive. he's offline for the night, and won't have the images "compiled" until tomorrow anyway. Back to drinking.

But before then, what about that migration I started? I check on it. it's fucking frozen. Because of course it fucking is.

I HAD FIFTEEN MINUTES OF FUCKING WORK TODAY, AND I WOULD BE DONE FOR NEARLY THREE FUCKING WEEKS.

UGH!

I went to flwater.com and it is not a website about Florida's water.

It redirects to this change.org petition? It's incredibly strange. NSFW banner btw.

After another unemployment w/ depression I need to find a job again. Some job ads keep posting pictures of whole crew wearing the same T-shirt holding a red cloth banner with some slogan of collectivism written on it. I believe those people only smile because it's a day off from work. Guess I'm not joining them anytime soon.

New banner (motd) for Mac

Sexy. I can't wait to upgrade my desk setup and create new banner.

Huh?....

Found another bug, this one won't have a screenshot because that wouldn't explain much.

So I edited a comment that was 6 mins old and after hitting save the app refreshed multiple times and then went to a blank page.

Also for some reason in the settings screen I have the supporter banner thing that pops up to say to support again (I thought I already paid, lol would be buggy to be a double supporter lol).

I'd really fucking love if somebody developed a browser plugin which puts a red fucking glowing banner over every website which sends data to PRISM.
Users deserve to know what cunty sell-out crapsites they visit.

Her idea ^_^

Could it be, that the "found on devRant... Posted by xyz" banner on images is broken a bit?

I've just found the worst website ever. After some seconds, they show a banner with the usual "agree to our use of cookies" stuff. Of course, I clicked on settings. So it opens another page in another tab. As I started to read that page, another banner was displayed. Ofc I clicked on settings. The same page was opened in yet a new tab. I think you can see we're this is going...

I made a nice banner for YouTube and stuff? Thoughts?

Rant

I'm tired of this shit!!!

First I receive a task to create a new functionality for the app that I'm working on and some documentation (this is the only good part of all the rant) but no design.

It's been 2 weeks since I got assigned to this and still no design, no assets, no API calls that ACTUALLY WORK.

Today was testing a plist to get a banner link, and for 1 hour that little fucker didn't returned the image I was asking.

Better, I wasn't getting ANY IMAGE. Turns out that the link sends me to a HTML URL that doesn't have any image... go figure!

So I've been working on this from some images inside the PDF with the documentation given.

Oh! Wait! There's more!

The cherry on top is that I'm implementing a chat/voice call/video call into the app and the framework that I will be using is being created now, and it's not even finished!!!!!!

There's little irritations that happen when working with clients over time that let you know that they're stuck in the past and definitely not the kind of client you want to have long term.

My personal favorite example:

"Can we put an icon that shows the weather on the banner of the website?"

Note: I don't make "websites," information portals, content pieces, etc.

It doesn't to matter what type of application it is; time tracking, HR, mortgage application, industrial control system, etc. I don't know why, but every single client I've ever had where I've been saddled with one or more people who have no business being anywhere near the term "stakeholder" asked for this stupid, banal, 1995 web portal fuckery. Their shitty little mushroom stamp contribution wasting everyone's time.

What's worse, they want it be prominent in the screen real estate. It can't just be a responsibly sized waste of space like the screenshot's top example (from a company whose entire business is weather, nonetheless). No, it has to be the busiest fucking thing in the control space, as in the example inferior.

Or maybe I'm just wrong and people desperately want to know if the sky is going to piss on them if they leave the cave.

Anyone else have a pet peeve in regards to recurrent, pointless functionality?

So I was planning on a single page website for my relatives hotel websitte and offered to make it for free ( as an offer for other huge project i was doing for same person )

But just got told that one of my uncle told to tell me that website design should like the website design of another hotel xyz.

For second, I thought that other would be very nice. So I checked it out.

Guess what! That other site looks like it hasn't updated since 2005! No HTTPS. No responsive design. Looks like fugly crap from 2005 to me. Has a huge Click to enable Adobe Flash banner on homepage.

I lost my hope in humanity and I quoted a price for making that. I guess I just gotta do a shit job and will get paid for it now 😂

When you click on the github wiki of the API you wanted to use and it shows you the "Create the first page" banner....

Guess I'll have to find another API with proper fucking documentation.

The only type of client I like being, is a hostile one.

That's why I intend to answer every question of the dev team, with a question.

"So would you like this banner to be blue, or green?"

Does green evoke the same emotions as blue?

"Probably not, but we're asking you so we know how to finish the design..."

Does a design have a will of its own?

"Ok... What do you think about the new e-mail feature?"

Does anyone use e-mail nowadays?

"There are plenty of people who use e-mail professionally."

Are you a professional?

"I don't think this collaboration is going to work out"

Are we done?

(Parody of Ron Swanson)

As a web developer, I find myself enjoy changing style in some websites when I visited them. Thanks to come devtool.

I always
- Hide annoying banner and ads
- Change text background to please my eyes while reading
- ...

Rant rant rant!

Le me subscribe to website to buy something.

Le register, email arrives immediately.
*please not my password as clear text, please not my password as clear text *

Dear customer your password is: ***

You dense motherfucker, you special bread of idiotic asshole its frigging 2017 and you send your customer password in an email!???

They frigging even have a nice banner in their website stating that they protect their customer with 128bit cryptography (sigh)

Protect me from your brain the size of a dried pea.

Le me calm down, search for a way to delete his profile. Nope no way.
Search for another shop that sells the good, nope.
Try to change my info: nope you can only change your gender...

Get mad, modify the html and send a tampered form: it submits... And fail because of a calculation on my fiscal code.

I wanna die, raise as a zombie find the developers of that website kill them and then discard their heads because not even an hungry zombie would use that brains for something.

Pirated MS office was so much better than the paid one. I never once had a banner pop-up and tell me that i didn't have a license 😖

Now, that i do have the license, the banner has made it a habit to pop-up whenever i work on something important 🤦

Is this happening only on my device or someone else too?
(For non OCD People - See the week banner in the image)
If it is with everyone with similar device config... We can raise an issue

Cool thing! Good work
@CozyPlanes

Do you have any annoying you want to get rid off, but you can't because of reasons?
I do. They are 4, but for now I'll talk about the gold medal winner.

When we met about 8-9 ago, she had just come back to town due to some very bad personal experience (not her fault). Anyway, she is polite, but her major flaw is that she is pushy. REAL BAD! And she gets mad when other people (including me) try to do it on her. Another one is having calls during random inappropriate times, because she had fight #N with her boyfriend, and last but not least, she will call when needs something out of someone.

Lately, her project is finding us a job, since we're both unemployed. Any job. The sad part is when she sends me job ads for dev jobs I don't qualify, e.g. Company X is looking for a dev with Y year of experience, knowing A, B, C & D technologies. I've told her that I don't qualify for most of the dev jobs she sends me, but she insists I should send my CV anyway, cause of reasons. Also, for some reason, I should be accounted to her for all my current choices when what I would honestly say is "BUG OFF".

Her latest endeavour is getting me one of her friends (a psychologist) as a "client". Her friend wants to have a professional website with writing posts/articles as a side dish. I'm not registered as a freelancer, so everything will be done under the counter, and her friend is OK with that. I'm no web developer, but I didn't refuse because of her backlash and also that would be a positive experience for me. Now, the juicy part. She gave her my phone number without my permission and she told me straight away. Her plan was having the three of us meet, though I don't know why and I didn't want her being around. I asked her to call me immediately, which it didn't happen. After being pestered by my friend for a couple of weeks if her friend called me, she finally did it on Monday. She didn't say to me anything I didn't know, but at least I have her phone now.

What I can offer her is a website skeleton with the usabilities she's asking. What I can't offer her is graphics/banner and security. And now I have to come up with reasonable price. Teams here ask 400-600€ for a complete website the way she asks, including VAT. I'm thinking around 100€ and I don't know when I can deliver the project. I've had some experience with Ruby and Sinatra, so I'll go with that, and I'll learn CSS along the way.

Thanks for reading till the end! 😃

Wtf. It really looks he's naked behind the banner

Fuck Google analytics .. seriously .. fuck it .. I understand it's a free tool that doesn't mean you mask your incompetency behind that banner.

Im pretty sure minecraft mods have better documentation than this POS.

I really like the user demographics data it gives , but with the asterisk on literally every other metric it gets harder to believe the ones that are functional.

I cant express exactly how many times I end up with hordes of articles that point out small caveats with this shit.

FUCK IT

Cordova or Xamarin?

I need to build a mobile app again, mostly for Android, because an interior Official app's functionality is so interior (written but monkeys) that it has finally pissed me of enough to take action.... And possibly be profitable (ads banner).

Mostly targeting Android but hey why not hit them all or at least also UWP.. I ain't paying for the Apple license... (Or maybe dfox could help release it...)

Anyway, which is better? I kinda want to pick up React and maybe try Typescript? (currently work with MEA(v1)N at work)

But I also use C# WPF, but mostly for my own projects these days when I need a desktop GUI.

I don't really feel like relearning Android SDK, I learned the SDK back when it was for Ice Cream.

As a tribute to Alice's fun discoveries, here's my discovery.

If you choose the weekly rant banner on the rant feed and open the rant which is showing at the top of your screen, you will see a ghost of the banner while the rant is loading.

Fuck Drupal

(DevRant banner)

I've a 2018 (or a 2^11 - 30 as one of my co-worker calls it) wish.

That we all stop hating and ranting to languages and start directing the dark force to people who misuses them.

Because those are the evil, not a bunch of lines, maintained by some poor fellows.

Except PHP.. PHP ducks (typo intended and irony banner up)

this is the first time that I use Devbanner.
I find it awesome

Lol

One of my college professor just reached out to me on Whatsapp and he told me that my college is conducting a short crash course on "Machine Learning" for students. He asked me if I could visit and take a session along with others. He also sent me an ad banner which my collage had designed for this purpose.

Soon after the chat, I just opened up Instagram and saw my privacy going for a huge toss 🤪😡!!

My apps don't support this banner's browser...

My own banner is freaking me out 😂

Outlook just thinks it's smart by removing "extra linebreaks".
It's not like we had a special thought in mind as we formatted the plaintext mail as we did.
There is certainly no reason why we choose to break after exactly that word.
Outlook is much smarter than us, so we should be grateful for its insight. NOT.

And now we have to instruct customers to click the correct banner to display the linebreaks as they were sent.

And HTML is not an option in this use case.

Thanks to who developed this. It's really cool...

Ok story number 2, this one takes place back when I was at Uni.
We had a group project where we had to make a basic website. Nothing fancy, just basic HTML/CSS/JS.
We were a group of 3, one of the guys did a fairly good job with the CSS, he made a really good looking banner/footer and a kind of ‘featured’ page which looked awesome.
But the other guy... his contribution was the ‘contact us’ page, which consisted of a totally static table with dummy info and an embedded Google map showing the location of our fake car dealership.
Meanwhile I wrote all the Javascript, complete with a fake in-memory database containing our car data for displaying on the home page. Even had basic filtering. I made sure to mention in the peer review that I felt like he could have done more.

So, our Sales Manager asked us, "what is maximum file size for jpeg banner ad?"

I said, "maximum at 100KB per file"

She asked another question, "what is minimum file size?"

I said, "err... 0 bytes"

What are staging systems for?
In my opinion (and of my dev co-workers): that everyone can test the software before it’s being deployed to production.

PM (at least based on how they act): that we devs test our software. They will test it when it’s live.

Today: cookie banner was missing, and the page has been on staging for around 3 months and it already has been live for 2 weeks.

No. One. Noticed. That. On. Stage.

Ridiculous.

This has been bothering me for a while. I have an old freelance client of mine I’ve created an web site for (his company) it was small one so I took the complete payment before deployment and I needed no contract. I deployed the complete version of the site on my server, bought the domain for his company under my name and it has been running for a year now.
Lately he had asked me to give admin privileges to his son (cs student 1y) to upload some photos of their new building. I noticed he ruined several functions on the site in doing so, but I was never paid to support that just the hosting for a year.
When I was making the design I made a simple but pretty logo as a placeholder for the site which went in production since they never gave me company logo. All good, no contract small cash all delivered, everyone happy.
Up until few days when I saw my f**king logo cut out from the site as 250px jpeg and made as a huge banner on the company building..
From my pov I would’ve never given permission to use that since its not something i’m proud of and would suggest to make a better one for a fee. I see this as stolen/unauthorized use of intellectual property. But the laws are super shitty in our country so at this point I am stuck at taking their site, domain a hostage until they pay for the logo they used or take it down or taking legal actions.. we never signed anything about that logo.

Some developers just don't put close buttons in some annoying and space-consuming stuff. Then it is inspector panel to the rescue!

I've got invited to google foobar yesterday with a banner in google developers site. I am not yet requesting any challenge. what should I know or study to start the challenge?

Did some webdesign, not sure yet of how I want to continue, navbar is done & responsive, so that's something. The hero banner looks kinda empty though... What do you folks think of it ?

Hey guys!!
So... there are already a few sites, web apps and stuff related to Devrant out there.
Like the DevRant banner and stuff...
Can you please tell me/us about stuff what we already have and what people already made?
Thank you.
PS.: I'm needing a project urgently, I'll be making a DevRant portal today with all the stuff you say here, even if it's just for me. need the distraction.
some Html, PHP, CSS, and Bulma, didn't finish a project like this yet, it's time.
Thanks for your support so far guys.

Devrant app bug report:

You can see the type content selection menu through the UI

To reproduce:
1. Have the rant of the week banner
2. Open type selection menu
3. Close the rant of the week banner
4. Now the menu is behind the rants

Hello,

are you ready for the GDPR? Do you have a Privacy Policy. DPA, Cookie Banner etc.?

About 20 hours. We had a major campaign for a product launch back in the days when MSN Messenger was awesome. Hitting F5 in MS sql query analyzer to execute query again would show like 20K+ downloads each time, shit was crazy. Then we discovered a major fuck up. Turned out that someone made a mistake by making a guid static. In a personalized content generator. So, most users ended up with someone else's face inside their personalized MSN Messenger wink. Oops... and no, we didn't do code reviews nor TDD back then so we didn't discover it sooner. It was really awesome to see how much traffic MS could generate by just showing a banner in hotmail. Real crazy. Anyway, we fixed it, discovery of the actual problem did take some time though.

From a client... "Would [company] supply their banner in an iframe so we could put it on our site."

Lolwut

When you come across the generated script of a H5 banner from client's production house, you are tempted to rewrite the whole thing instead of fixing the bug.

If you really decided to fix it, in the end you found out you spent nearly 100x more time on this piece of shit, and that makes you feel really bad.

@dfox - clicking on "the craziest group rant" banner took me to devrant.io/get 😢 (iOS)

I'm not able to post my Banner as a signature, because the filter recognize this banner as the same exact image.

Please think about a signature option

Advice to new dev:
- if you feel like writing a banner comment, create a new function instead.

Web Dev course : open the starter code base in firefox and see a big smily Berlusconi's face as main banner :/

@bashlord @cozyplanes, what happened? 😯 both of your sites are down

That precise moment when you have finished your brand new app, you're compiling to upload it to the devcenter and you NOTICE you haven't changed the test ID in your Ad banner unit.

Can you feel me bro, right?

What is the best way to put a banner in all of my posts in WordPress?