Have you ever wondered we programmers have so many strong communities.... Stackoverflow, devRant, Reditt, etc...
No other profession has such communities... Why? Why?
Because, we haven't built one for them.... 😂😁

Report to who?

Linux is love...

Java Joke......

Data privacy is a thing of past...

This story is 100% true.

I got hired onto a team of construction workers to build a house. We set up a meeting with Management to find out what kind of house they wanted us to build, where’s the floor plan, what it’s going to be used for, who it’s for, etc. Management said that they didn’t know all that, we should just get started. They told us that we were going to use “Agile” which means that we just work on small deliverables and build the thing incrementally.

The developer team lead argued that we at least need to know how big the thing is going to be so that we can get started pouring the foundation, but Management told him they just don’t know. “What we do know,” Management said, “is that the house is going to have a bathroom. Just start there, and we’ll know more when it’s done. You have two weeks.”

So we just bought a port-a-potty, and screwed around on the internet for two weeks. Management was outraged. “You call this a house? This is the worst house ever! It doesn’t even have a tv!”

So we bought a tv and put it in the port-a-potty, attached to an outdoor generator. We were going to buy a a dvd player and get it hooked up to cable, but Management rejected the expense request, saying that they didn’t know if we needed it, and we’d come back to that later.

Management decided that we definitely need storage space, so we bought a boxcar and duct-taped the port-a-potty to it. Then to our horror they set up some desks and put a few miserable business interns in there. It went on like this…

After a few years the boxcar grew into a huge, ramshackle complex. It floods, leaks, it’s frozen in the winter and an oven in the summer. You have to get around in a strange maze of cardboard tubes, ladders and slides. There are two equally horrible separate buildings. We’re still using just the one outdoor generator for all power, so electricity is tightly rationed.

Communication between the buildings was a problem. For one of them, we use a complex series of flag signals. For the other we write notes on paper, crumple the paper up, and toss it over. Both of these methods were suggested as jokes, but Management really liked them for some reason. The buildings mostly talk to each other but they have to talk through us, so most of what we do is pass messages on.

It was suggested that we use paper airplanes instead of crumpled up balls, but the fat, awkward fingers of the Business Majors who inevitably take those jobs couldn’t be trained to make them. I built an awesome automatic paper airplane folder, but once again they couldn’t be trained to use it, so they just went back to crumpling the notes up in balls.

The worst part of all this is that it’s working. Everyone is miserable, but the business is making money. The bright side is that this nightmare complex is done so now we know what kind of building they actually needed in the first place, so we can start work on it. Obviously we can’t tell Management anything about what we’re doing until it’s finished. They noticed the gigantic hole in the ground where the foundation is coming in, but we told them that it’s a cache reset, and they mostly ignore it except when the occasional customer falls in.

I’ll probably be out of here before the new building gets finished. I could get a 50% raise by switching jobs, but Management still doesn’t think I should get a raise because I missed a couple sprints.

Thanks wannacry to make people aware about infosec....

Treat your employees right...

Won my first hackathon...

Three days ago I wrote a comment:

"It's weird how the internet shifted from protocols to platforms.

Devs still know the plumbing, but for most people IRC became Whatsapp, FTP became Dropbox, RTSP became Netflix, SIP became Zoom and RSS became Google Now... so people might eventually forget about SMTP and this whole "email" hype.

In a decade or two we'll have forgotten about URLs and HTTP and the "internet" as well. You just pay your monthly $10 sub to Google or Amazon or Apple to have your condensed streams of memes & bait funneled right into your eyeballs."

And now Chrome devs are considering removing URLs just like in Safari, just showing the domain you are on....

Enjoy your retard web, people.

What's next, new Macbook & Chromebook standardized designs to prevent people from being confused?

*Theoretical computer scientist is at an interview.*

Interviewer: “Imagine that you are walking down a road and see a house on fire. What do you do?”

CS Guy: “I dial the police and tell them that the house is on fire.”

Interviewer: “Good. Now, imagine that you are walking down the same road, and you see that the same house is not on fire. What do you do?”

CS Guy: *Ponders for a little while.* “I put the house on fire, thus reducing it to a problem I’ve solved before.”

A tcp packet walks in to a bar and says “I want a beer”, barman says “you want a beer?” and tcp packet says “yes, a beer” .

In high society, TCP is more welcome than UDP. At least it knows a proper handshake.

A bunch of TCP packets go into a bar, until it’s overcrowded. The next day, half as many go in.

A bunch of TCP packets walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Hang on just a second, I need to close the window.”

When I try to send SYNs to chicks, I don’t get any ACKs. Just FINs and RSTs.

IP packet with TTL=1 arrives at bar. Bartender: “Sorry, can’t let you leave…and you don’t get any beer either…” 

The worst part about token ring jokes is that if someone starts telling one while you are telling yours, all joking stops.

The great thing about TCP jokes is that you always get them.

The problem with TCP jokes is that people keep retelling them slower until you get them.

I would tell some UDP jokes too but I never know if anyone gets them

The best thing about UDP jokes is that I don’t care if you get them or not.

I had a funny UDP joke to tell, but I lost it somewhere...

The sad thing about IPv6 jokes is that almost no one understands them and no one is using them yet.

I tried to come up with an IPv4 joke, but the good ones were all already exhausted.

A DHCP packet walks into a bar and asks for a beer. Bartender says: “here, but I’ll need that back in an hour!

DHCP jokes only work when there is only one person telling them

The worst part of SSH jokes is that, even when they're not funny, you suck it up and just pretend they were anyway.

The problem with token ring jokes is you need to wait your turn to laugh

I’d make a joke about UDP, but I don’t know if anyone’s actually listening…

You won’t get it. But I don't care.... :)

U got pwned...

am I the only one who still uses IRC?

Presenting my paper on PHP Security in IEEE conference today... Wish me luck. I hope it gets published 😃🤞

Eureka! The IBM 5150 is on the internet!

Statutory warning: Don't try this at work....

Yesterday on #vim irc
User1: Hey this is my code <linkto python code>, why isn't this working?
User2: It's Vim channel, you will have more luck on #python.
User1: But I'm coding on Vim so it's Vim related
Me: Then go to #ikea because of that chair you are sitting on while typing.

Love this one.... Tooo good....

Business model...

Things I wish I could tell my 18 year old self.

1) Accept you will make mistakes.
2) Truly learn the language you are using.
3) Write idiomatic code for the language you are using.
4) Be upfront about not knowing something.
5) Don't let not knowing something stop you from learning it.
6) None of us knew X until we learned it.
7) Understand your strengths and weaknesses as a developer, play to them.
8) Be willing to try new things.
9) X language isn't ALWAYS the best choice, X paradigm isn't ALWAYS the best choice. Choose wisely.
10) You won't know everything, but you might know more than others.
11) Your ideas and ego don't matter more than ensuring the product works.
12) "Perfection is the enemy of the good [enough]" - Voltaire
13) "Perfection is not achieved when there's nothing more to add, but when there's nothing more to remove." - Einstein.
14) Conflicts happen, deal with it.
15) Develop a toolset and really learn them.
16) Try new tools, they may prove better than what you were using.
17) Don't manage your own memory unless you absolutely have to, you are probably not smarter than the collective intelligence of the team that built the various garbage collection methods.
18) People can be dicks, especially online.
19) If you are new and people are being dicks to you, did you skip past the irc message about etiquette? If you did, you're the dick in this situation.
20) It can be tough, but it is fun, so have fun!

Saw my uncle using Microsoft Edge today.

Me: Uncle, you should use Chrome or Firefox. They are better.
Uncle: Windows 10 showed a pop up few days back that chrome drains battery faster. So I uninstalled chrome.
Me: But Windows is fooling you to use its product. Edge is horrible and useless.
Uncle: So you think you are smarter than Windows people? Are they idiots who designed this whole software?

Microsoft u got 1 more Edge user. Enjoy, you lying and misleading company.

So I said I'd rant this yesterday but a long night of server management came in the way!

Yesterday @trogus mentioned in a comment that he thinks everyone deserves a place where they feel like home and this is that place for me along with some sub-places which derived from here.

So in this linux/foss chat yesterday I was trying to get into an IRC chatroom (all people there (or at least a lot) are also like minded on privacy/security). I don't want to use email signup if not absolutely neccesary (don't judge me, everyone there own thing) and I found out very late (after 20 minutes of instructions from a fellow devRanter) that this thing required email signup. I didn't wanna do that so I said that and started typing a whole essay of why I'd rather not do that and what my reasons are (privacy partly) but then the guy said: "haha you got it man".

For one second I forgot that I don't have to explain myself over there on stuff regarding privacy that a lot of people would find paranoid. Man, that feels like being home :).

Recruiters and HR plz note there is difference between Web Developer and Web Designer... I repeat there is difference between Developer and Designer.

Cutest virus ever!

Boss: Why will it take 3 hours? It's just a minor change.

Upon suggestion of @platypus I went to the cafe and just took my tablet there (unfucking the laptop's rootfs flash drive took too long, and ArduinoDroid's avrdude didn't seem to work very well), so just doing some chatting in IRC and trying to figure out how the hell I'm supposed to make a serial link to a Proxmox VM from the host (thinkstation on the top left pane).

Attached below is the screenshot of that.. much turminel, very h3xx0r! But so far nobody has come up to me calling me "evul h3xx0r" yet.. very intriguing! I expected things to be much worse.

A glass of Duvel in front of me, tastes great! Cheers!

When people in a IRC channel says;
mailing lists it something that people in the 90's used

This is going to be a long rant, coz this is the only way to vent out my frustration against our tech head.

Yesterday, while our fucking twat tech head was playing around in company aws account, he terminated the production server. By mistake, apparently. Coz he doesn't know shit about server management. But that egoist ass won't admit and fucked the production server.

And then ran away. We developers sprang into action. Updated dns to point to staging server, setup virtual hosts, env files, point to prod database, force flush dns cache. All systems were up and running in 30 mins. And since it was staging server, it had lot of untested features and codes, and we spent rest of the day fixing the bugs.

And that tech head, who ran away hiding his tail between his legs, after he fucked the server, came back after systems were up. And started cracking jokes, that "so many features got released in 1 day" . "We cut server cost by shutting down 1 server."

We were struggling and working in full throttle to make the services running again. And that fuckity fucker was cracking jokes.

And I don't even know what excuse he gave to ceo for the downtime. I am pretty sure he would have made up some crappy excuse to hide his fucking mistake. That ass never admits his mistake. I am thinking to go to ceo today and tell the real story and get that faggot head fired or at least a strict warning.

Data structures.... The easy way....

To those that think they can't make it.
To those that are put down by those that don't understand you.
And to those that have never had a dream come true.

Not a rant, but the story of how I got into programming

I've always been into tech/electronics. I remember being told once that when I was 3, I used to take plug sockets to pieces. When I was 7, I built a computer with my dad.
There isn't a thing in my room that hasn't been dismantled and put back together again. Except for the things that weren't put back together again ;)

When I was 15, I got a phone for Christmas. It was a pretty crappy phone, the LG P350 (optimus ME). But I loved it all the same.
However I knew it could do a lot more. It ran a bloated, slow version of Android 2.2.
So I went searching, how can I make it faster, how to make it do more. And I found a huge community around Android ROMs. Obviously the first thing I did was flashed this ROM. Sure, there were bugs, but I was instantly in love with it. My phone was freed.

From there I went on to exploring what else can be done.
I wanted to learn how to script, so over the weekend I wrote a 1000 line batch (Windows cmd) script that would root the phone and flash a recovery environment onto it. Pretty basic. Lots of switch statements, but I was proud of it. I'd achieved something. It wasn't new to the world, but it was my first experience at programming.

But it wasn't enough, I needed more.
So I set out to actually building the roms. I installed Linux. I wanted to learn how to utilise Linux better, so I rewrote my script in bash.
By this time, I'd joined a team for developing on similar spec'd phones. Without the funds to by new devices, we began working on more radical projects.
Between us, we ported newer kernels to our devices. We rebased much of the chipset drivers onto newer equivalents to add new features.

And then..

Well, it was exam season. I was suffering from personal issues (which I will not detail), and that, with the work on Android, I ended up failing the exams.
I still passed, but not to the level I expected.

So I gave up on school, and went head first into a new kind of development. "continue doing what you love. You'll make it" is what I told myself.

I found python by contributing to an IRC bot. I learnt it by reading the codebase. Anything I didn't understand, I researched. Anything I wanted to do, google was there to help me through it.

Then it was exam season again. Even though I'd given up on school, I was still going. It was easier to stay in than do anything about it.
A few weeks before the exams, I had a panic attack. I was behind on coursework, and I knew I would do poorly on exams.
So I dropped out.
I was disappointed, my family was disappointed.
So I did the only thing I felt I could do. I set out to get a job as a developer.

At this stage, I'd not done anything special. So I started aiming bigger. Contributing to projects maintained by Sony and Google, learning from them. Building my own projects to assist with my old Android friends.
I managed to land a contract, however due to the stresses at home, I had to drop it after a month.
Everything was going well, I felt ready to get a full time job as a developer, after 2 years of experience in the community.

Then I had to wake up.
Unfortunately, my advisors (I was a job seeker at the time) didn't understand the potential of learning to be a developer. With them, it's "university for a skilled job".
They see the word "computer" on a CV, they instantly say "tech support".
I played ball, I did what I could for them. But they'd always put me down, saying I wasn't good enough, that I'd never get a job.
I hated them. I'd row with them every other day.

By God, I would prove them wrong.

And then I found them. Or, to be more precise, they found me. A startup in London got in contact with me. They seemed like decent people. I spoke with their developers, and they knew their stuff, these were people that I can learn from.
I travelled 4 hours to go for an interview, then 4 hours back.
When I got the email saying they'd move me to London, I was over the moon.
I did exactly what everyone was telling me I couldn't do.

1.5 years later, I'm still working with them. We all respect each other, and we all learn from each other.

I'm ever grateful to them for taking a shot with me. I had no professional experience, and I was by no means the most skilled individual they interviewed.

Many people have a dream. I won't lie, I once dreamed of working at Google. But after the journey I've been through, I wouldn't have where I am now any other way. Though, in time, I wish to share this dream with another.
I hope that all of you reach your dreams too.

Sorry for the long post. The details are brief, but there are only 5k characters ;)

Got fired... Yipee....

Chinese measure tape...

I love Linux, but its community can be so full of incompetent assholes..

Just now I asked in Freenode ##linux how to get the process ID of my current running process in bash. I got my answer - it's a shell built-in called "$$".

Then people start to nitpick some more - why do you need it? How is that different from an exit? - to which my response was.. well I know the whole idea behind exit codes, and I'd use it whenever possible, in all defined behavior that allows my program to terminate itself whenever it can. This pidfile however would be used to exit itself and provide diagnostic information whenever the program enters undefined behavior - a segfault in C language. Scenarios in which I don't have full control over the script's behavior anymore, such as the system entering an unworkable state where the system stalled, still got some binaries in RAM but the rootfs got unwritable, such as now - very helpfully, thanks HP! - when my laptop likely overheated and shat itself. I issued sudo reboot into it, but even that wouldn't issue properly anymore due to the /sbin/poweroff binary becoming inaccessible too. I had to issue a hard power cycle.. one of the few times in which I'm thankful to HP for actually causing shit like this, lol.

Point is, that undefined behavior is what I'm trying to mitigate against. I certainly can't let any files other than diagnostics remain in nonvolatile storage like that, especially when their state should be predictable in order to ensure good operation (like files expressing whether the script is already running or not, i.e. lock files).

Back to that IRC chat. Aside from the answer, I got ridicule from people who probably don't even know how to properly compile a kernel. Ubuntu users, overconfident scum. Sometimes I feel like I should ask questions in channels like #archlinux only, where such incompetency is ridiculed on its own.

Just great. Some idiot downloaded movies via torrent on the shared WiFi and the ISP cancelled the service. The landlord turned on port blocking. So now I can't access IRC or SSH without using a fucking VPN. Every fucking port... I have to use port 53 to bypass the filters. Fuck off. Fuck. Fuck this shit.

Explaining my mom about my job as backend developer... She couldn't understand what is there behind the website. She was like "u designed the website. It's done. What u do full day?"

Finally I gave an example of restaurant... I am the cook(backend developer). Front-end is waiter. Finally she understood....

When ur boss replies with same emoji every time....

Best co-workers? Umm, does Google and stackoverflow count?
Coz I am sole IT guy in my company....

There is power cut in my college area sometimes...
Once we were in computer lab, when power cut occurred. So fan, tubelights went off.
I heard one girl ask her friend "how are laptops on?"
That moment.... Only I know how I controlled my laugh....

The only reason I use Linux is because I can't get a mac.

I posted a while back about a manager I had who vaped excessively indoors, during meetings, one on ones, etc. He was a total asshole. He was still a total asshole if you overlooked the strawberry scented Cape Canaveral act. This guy was good at CSS, I will give him that, but that's all he was good at. Couldn't comprehend basic JS, scared of jQuery, and would promptly shoot down ANY approach that didn't involve using WordPress. He was also one of the biggest power tripping egotistical know it all mother fucking pieces of shit and worst human beings in general that I've ever met. At least he had paint-by-numbers going for him.

We had a meeting with a client one day that wanted some kind of IRC thing with SMS support. I can't remember exactly what it was now, and it doesn't matter. I had been working on a slack-like clone for months at that point, and it was ok. It was a for-fun kinda thing. Not great by any stretch, but it worked. Mostly. I thought it might be a possible head start for the client's app, so I showed it to my manager.

I didn't get five words out before he's screaming and yelling in front of God and everyone. Customers, colleagues, the owner. "Don't work on anything without my permission ever again". I stood there, shocked. Actually couldn't speak for a couple of minutes. It was the same thing around the now very quiet and awkward open floorplan office. When words found me again, I turned to this sack of shit and said "I need to have a word with you in private". Long story short, I ended up walking out that day.

Finally got 4k resolution...

I don't have a girlfriend to commit to.
So I commit to github...

That's actually something that happened fairly recently.. just that I didn't have the energy left at the time to write it down. That, or I got my ass too drunk to properly write anything.. not sure actually.

So on paper I'm unemployed, but I do spend some time still on pretty much voluntary work for HackingVision, along with a handful of other people.

At the time, we were just doing the usual chit-chat in the admin channel, me still sick in my bed (actually that means that I wasn't drunk but really tired for once.. amazing!) and catching up to what happened, but unable to do any useful work in this sick state. So, tablet, typing on glass, right. I didn't have any keyboard attached at the time.

One of the staff members (a wanketeer from India) apparently had an assignment in a few hours for which he needed to write a server application in Java. Now, performance issues aside, I figured.. well I've got quite a bit of experience with servers, as well as some with client-server protocols. So I got thinking.. mail servers, way too overengineered. Web servers.. well that could work, I've done some basic netcat webservers that just sent an HTTP 200 OK and the file, those worked fine.. although super basic of course. And then there's IRC, which I've actually talked to an InspIRCd server through telnet before (which by the way is pretty much the only thing that telnet is still useful for, something that was never its purpose, lol) and realized that that protocol is actually quite easy to develop around. That's why I like it so much over modern chat protocols like XMPP, MQTT and whatnot. So I recommended that he'd write a little IRC server in Java. Or even just a chatbot like I attempted to at the time, considering that that's - with a stretch of course - a sort-of server too.

His fucking response however, so goddamn fucking infuriating. "If the protocol is so easy, then please write me down how to implement it in Java."

Essentially do his fucking work for him. I don't know Java, but as a fucking HackingVision admin, YOU SHOULD FUCKING KNOW THAT HACKERS CAN'T STAND LAZY CUNTS THAT CAN'T EVEN BE ASSED TO GOOGLE SHIT!!! If I wanted to deal with cunts like that, I'd have opened the page inbox with all its Fb h4xx0ring questions, not the fucking admin chat!

And type it on a goddamn fucking piece of glass, while fucking sick?! Get your ass fucked by a bobs and vegana horny fuck from the untouchable caste, because that's where you fucking belong for expecting THAT from me, you fucking bhenchod.

But at least I didn't get my ass enraged like that to say that to him in the admin chat. Although that probably wouldn't have been a bad thing, to get his feet right back on the ground again.

IRC forever 😂

I felt kind of clip-winged as a webdev/wannabe sysadmin without a server.
Merry Christmas, everyone!
🎁

Just found an admin portal online. There was a modal asking for password, but in background the portal was visible. ctrl + shift + i and then closed the modal.

Voila, the whole portal and actions are accessible. Seriously, who develops things like these?

I am pretty sure it's vulnerable to sqli and xss too.

MySQL should have a recycle bin. I just deleted whole "user" table by mistake... Forgot to add where clause properly... Had to restore 2 days old backup copy. I just hope no accounts were created or someone changed their password in last 2 days....

I swear to fsck, "RTFM" is gonna be engraved on my tombstone

Facebook messenger is for kids, real men use IRC clients.

So my company finally decided to make the shift from using irc for internal chats to Slack.

After a month of patiently waiting for my team to make the shift, I went ahead asked one of my (young) fellow teammate why he hasn't shifted to Slack yet. His reply:
"What's Slack?"

My attitude isn't bad....
It's in BETA! 😝

Fastest upload speed...

I seriously feel like this should be a joke/meme.
What you see in the picture is a database table.
This guy's now running around with a degree in something related to web development.

Coz dual boot is too main stream...

Had last paper today... Finally 4 yrs of engineering comes to an end. I am a proud computer engineer....

When ur boss starts learning coding... Shit just got real.... Now I can't fool him....

Ransomware on IoT.... Amazing infographic...

I was talking with a guy who is making an android app for his thesis but hes "shitdamn awful in java". I offered to help because im so fucking nice.

"oh but i dont have facebook, is it a problem?"

Nah sure i dont use facebook anyways, got telegram?

"No"

Riot? Irc?

"Nope"

Then what do you use???

"Skype"

?!!?!??!??!!???!??!

Error reporting in metro ticket....

What is a generic?

I can’t even say what’s wrong with PHP, because— okay. Imagine you have uh, a toolbox. A set of tools. Looks okay, standard stuff in there.

You pull out a screwdriver, and you see it’s one of those weird tri-headed things. Okay, well, that’s not very useful to you, but you guess it comes in handy sometimes.

You pull out the hammer, but to your dismay, it has the claw part on both sides. Still serviceable though, I mean, you can hit nails with the middle of the head holding it sideways.

You pull out the pliers, but they don’t have those serrated surfaces; it’s flat and smooth. That’s less useful, but it still turns bolts well enough, so whatever.

And on you go. Everything in the box is kind of weird and quirky, but maybe not enough to make it completely worthless. And there’s no clear problem with the set as a whole; it still has all the tools.

Now imagine you meet millions of carpenters using this toolbox who tell you “well hey what’s the problem with these tools? They’re all I’ve ever used and they work fine!” And the carpenters show you the houses they’ve built, where every room is a pentagon and the roof is upside-down. And you knock on the front door and it just collapses inwards and they all yell at you for breaking their door.

That’s what’s wrong with PHP.

Why God? Why do you do this to me?

"Systems open to all, but closed to intruders"

HEY, HP, PACK YOUR WHOLE FAMILY OF TRASH SOFTWARE INTO YOUR TRAILER HOME AND DRIVE IT OFF A CLIFF. WHAT THE __FUCK__ DOES THAT EVEN MEAN YOU LITERAL BLOAT FLIES. HOW ABOUT WE START WITH THE FACT THAT ALL IT TAKES IS ONE DUMB MOTHER FUCKER ANYWHERE IN A COMPANY GIVING AWAY ONE LOGIN IN A SOCIAL ENGINEERING ATTACK TO POP THIS NICE FART FILLED BALLOON YOUR DRUNK SALES AND MARKETING MORON PARADE CAME UP WITH.

STOP FUCKING ADVERTISING ON MR. ROBOT AND LET ME PRETEND IT'S NOT A PRODUCT FOR JUST ONE MOMENT FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU

36 hours here.

It wasn't really work, but I went to FOSDEM 2 years ago with a friend of mine that's also a hacker (hardware stuff mostly). So on Saturday we went to all the talks fully energised, when that was done we got back to his home to "sleep", but there's so many other projects to do!! At the time we felt like we really needed a weather fetching thingy in our IRC client (I think it was Hexchat) but that didn't exist yet. So we built it, kinda in a pair programming way, all night long. Oh, it's morning already?! Time to go to the Sunday talks! We were both complete zombies by then, but somehow I still remember a little bit of it.. some ass who was showing oh-my-vagrant (boring as shit) and some other stuff. All in all, 36 hours on the counter when I got in bed completely wasted, but it was so worth it ♥️

Got rejected in interview for Web developer... Interviewer showed company website and asked if it's made in html or WordPress... I said html which was wrong...

Am I incompetent? How can I predict the platform just by looking at UI...?

My boss has gone for a long vacation from last week and will be back in Feb. And office feels soooo awesome and fun. No office politics, no senseless meetings. Just pure work in peace.

I wish he doesn't come back only....

When somebody asks you what IRC is and the only way you can explain it is 'It's like Slack, but before Slack.'

My software is safe from buffalo overflow. What about yours? Is it safe from hip overflow too?

Anyone else has this feeling that every tutorial ever explains basic things in minutae details and then in parts that are actually unintuitive and hard it does not explain anything?

Case in point Angular 1.X

Now, i feel pretty confident with my ng knowledge, but it still looks like there is lack of balance to docs/tuts, it shows up in questions ppl ask on irc etc.
So I don't think it is a question of my subjective viewpoint.

Debian based bedsheet...

Is "++i" more efficient or "i++" ?

P.S. I already wasted more cpu cycles by posting this, than I would ever waste by using either of them....

That moment when you make heads turn, coz you are using laptop with loads of devRant sticker on it in metro.....
Feeling l33t.....

Pasting a comment that deserves it's own rant/story.

Once upon a time when I just started out, I mostly did html & css templates for Drupal.

One day, when I had a question I couldn't find an answer for, I went on irc and asked some Drupal devs for advice, saying that I'm a web developer in need.

When I told them I do mainly html, css and drag n' drop in Drupal, they started laughing hysterically (and for good reason).

I learned from that experience and I'm a full grown developer for the past 7 years or so, but if it wasn't for them, I'd probably take a bit longer to realize that I was being a complete tool.

In short - WordPress "developers" (and other "developers") who drag and drop all day and call themselves devs, need to get their heads out of their asses.

If you need someone to (figuratively) slap you in the face in order for you to wake up and realize that you can be a LOT better - let them. It's one of the best educating acts you'll get as an adult.

rant_type = "self rant"

I've made my IRC client look like my Sublime Text, so whenever I'm chatting and any of my superiors look at my screen, it looks like I'm working hard :D

Though I often find IRC a good place to get help, it's often instant, and I often get the proper answer straight up, instead of going through lots of StackOverflow pages and other sites

Successful Ddos on NASA.

When ur company appreciates and rewards for the hard work and late nights spent finishing a huge project before deadline... Feels good...

Boss: some consultants worked on this feature extending some legacy code
Boss: it's 90% done
Boss: they used FTP. It uses iframes and we fired them when they couldn't get the frontend modules working in sync with the backend.
Me: git checkout -b herewegoagain
git diff-tree --no-commit-id --name-only -r 666w3wl4d
*copy output list of files to sublime text 3; select all lines; add to each:
gitk --follow [filename] > src/.notes/herewegoagain/[filename].diff
*examines....
Me: It's -10% done. you'll know I'm almost done when I enter the fugue state. You'll find me at this address. Give me this USB stick and a 4 pack of redbull and I'll do the merge.

Now my facebook messenger app does it's updates inside the app without my consent to install an apk.
I'm scared

When you have to stay awake at nights just to support more timezones and chat..:/

$age = 21;
$age++;
echo "Happy Birthday! You are $age yrs old now";

Leave developers in a room long enough and they'll drop verbal communication in favour of irc/slack/discord

When your rant crosses 500 ++s mark.... Yipee....
*rich rich*

My password manager!!
I use passwords I can never remember, stay logged in, next time I need to log_in I use the passqord forgotten button, reset it with my e-mail or better phone

Freenode. Come and join

Working on Sunday because deadline is next week.
P.S. We got project yesterday.... Wish me luck.....

today I spent an hour and a half (30 mins past my paid hours) explaining go my boss that I'm not just being rebellious; that the time I'm taking to do the job right is appropriate and the only way to end up with a piece of software that they'll be able to request features for without adding on to the absolute shit pile frankenkrakken that is their mutated 13 year old OSCOMMERCE dumpsterfire.

I convinced him.

The only programming joke I know is my code....
(I am already laughing while writing this) 😂😂😝

My first Project is finally ready to be deployed on prod server.... Nervous.... How u guys cope with this stress?

The best way to predict the future, is to invent it...

Anybody else use IRC around here?

That moment when your rant has gone so viral that you have to force close devRant app. Coz your phone is buzzing every half an hour....

DevRant algo is awesome....

in the early 2000's I started installing Firefox on my high school's computers. about a month later it was being deployed to every one of them

Tech head fires a mail few days company is planning a hackathon. Overnight at office, with food, music and home drop offs in morning. We devs feel excited we will get time to work on our personal projects and complete them.

Yesterday, tech head fires a mail about the topics. Guess what? The topics are projects which company needs to scale up... Image recognition and text extraction. Selenium. Esign.

Now I am searching for an excuse to skip the hackathon...

Windows 10 latest update feature.

I miss IRC violence every now and then. Nowadays the internet is just way too supportive and condescending. I mean, what has become of RTFMs :'(. We're ourselves spoiling the next-gen of idiotic programmers, re-filling the rant machinery.

Software developers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problem.

3 database SQL walked into a NoSQL bar. A little while later, they walked out. Because they couldn't find a table.

If the box says:
"This software requires Windows xp or better."
Does that mean it will run on Linux?

Frustration Rant!

Because old hardware means learning the hard way sometimes, I've had to purchase more goodies.

On my last update, I installed the rs232 shield which may have inadvertently been wired backwards for Tx/Rx from what im used to. I assume it is backwards to most db9 serial ports because most Arduino or other projects you would do with a pi have serial "in" connections like old routers and devices that would be "controlled" rather than the other way around. Anyway, according to a video on youtube showing a guy turning an old machine into an IRC client via raspberry pi, this shield may be swapped. That means that instead of interfacing with the old machine via a null modem crossover cable, I need a straight cable with male db9 on both ends. I unfortunately tried using the null modem crossover cable which was reversing the reversed pins all over again. I hope these next few days are more fruitful now that I've bought a straight cable and db9/25 adapter.

The good thing is that I managed to get the pi to recognize its new serial port. I also dusted off my DOS skills and my serial card in the 5150 seems to work.

I literally banged my head after nothing worked. Im hoping that the tx/ Rx is solved soon.

Oh and that AT to PS/2 adapter will allow me to use by IBM original Model M Keyboarf rather than the fun model F.

I love IRC. It seems more fun than forums. You get to talk about programming without people hating you for whatever reason. (Unless you do crazy colors with blinking letters.)

Is there any good IRC channels out there?

float integral = 0;
float dx=float.minValue;
for (float x = a; x<=b; x+=dx) {
integral+=f(x)*dx;
}

A classmate just literally wrote this and he believed it was the proper way to do it.
I asked him to integrate f(x)=1 on 0<x<1.

Terminal IRC for Developers/ Enthusiast

Webmin because why not ✓
Lamp stack ✓
Dynamic DNS client ✓
PhpMyAdmin X

Dear DigitalOcean. SINCE WHEN do you consider a PMA installation
without Https SECURE?
And why the fuck do you make me install an aptitude package that skips both file system AND Apache config cleanup on purging?
It's just a raspberry, but if it runs lamp I want PMA, and if it runs anything, I want Https. Is that too much to ask for from a tutorial source otherwise so reliable that I do anything you say without a questioning thought?

That one case ruined everything...

If it fails put water...

I have been coding for 2 years, 1 month at a company

Teammate1 has been coding for a year, a genius, learns everything in a week, knows all major js frameworks, refuses to adhere to any rules except no rebase on pushed (luckily)

Teammate2 has been coding for a year, learns slowly, very reliable, has no common sense at all

Teammate3 the designer, really has the skills but always busy, never has time for a meeting, gets very mad if it looks different from her original plan.

We're all college students short of money so they all want to work for clients. I don't have the leadership skills / charisma for this.

This is my reply to @rozina 's question of what got me interested in programming. Long and boring story coming up:

My best friend at the time(2000) was one of the first kids in our neighbourhood to get an expensive consumer desktop PC with an ISDN connection. I was fascinated by his interest in learning C++(i had no idea what he was talking about other than the commands themselves),he had piles of books on computers and programming in general. He introduced me to HTML and thanks to him, a few years later i became something of a legend in a local IRC community for creating templates for user profiles for free using CSS.
My interest grew towards computers around 14 years of age and i was actively using a junkyard PC my father had put together. I also used it for learning OS installations, mainly various Windows versions. I took an interest in digital graphics and image creation and this completely overtook my interest in creating via code. It wasn't until a decade later my original passion for coding resurfaced as part of my journey through learning the GNU/Linux environment and all of it's aspects.
And now here i am 16 years later, learning web developing and Python 3, since that one summer of 2000 when i was introduced to the amazing universe of code.

In freshman year at college, 1992, I met a guy with a fancier computer than I had. The dude was awesome as a C coder and already had a job as one. He let me use it to play around with Persistence of Vision Raytracer which was an open source 3D scene generating language/platform. His computer was also what I used for accessing BBSes and IRC chat rooms for the first time. I was hooked from then on.

I have to install windows for this project because I usually work in spare half hours and the virtual machine takes 15 minutes to boot.

I tried to Google what to do if my only windows machine has space on the secondary disk only, because the install media creator requires 8 gigabytes. The only answers were mocking the op for buying a 50 GB SSD. I didn't even start working and I already hate the windows community.

Create a bug-free compiler for a Lang like c# but a little less overcomplicated and a lot faster. I don't believe a strictly typed and garbage collected language needs to be much less than half as fast as c++.

Htop says that the first three processes together take up more than 200 CPU%

My first exposure to computers was when i was 7 in 98. Hp Palvillion with windows 98. Got it from walmart and it cost around $1100. Brought it home and i hooked it up on my own on the living room floor. First program installed was "who wants to be a millionare", fitting that a game be the first thing installed since it was for homework. I lived 16 miles from town at the time so i really had no friends and the isolation made it hard for me to adjust in school to the point that i was a loud kid seeking attention. Then we got dialup and i found invisionfree forums which my first programing experiance with javascript started. And no I'm not talking about jquery I'm talking about the real thing.

Fast foward a year. I find an opensource arcade and learn php while writting an arcade from scratch that uses curl to mitm login to verify the user. Later that month i create a small project that dynamicly creates a signature image for the top 1000 posters on a coding forum i liked.

Then all hell broke loose when i found osdev.org, thought i was going to be a badass and make the ultimate operating system that would combine linux, windows, and mac where it could run anything. Reality Check hit me like a semi and train hitting at full force trying that and made me look into hacking. Spent alittle while breaking windows in so many ways and talking to others on irc until i was about to turn 18. Switched to ubuntu 12.04 my senior year while that was occuring.

Been using Linux for about a year, now starting to customise it. Since it's full of Gnome garbage, I'll test out everything and then do a fresh install. Deadline is September 3rd, if it does not work fast and reliably till then I'll have to get Gnome because I need it for school.

Let the race begin.

Yesterday was a horrible day...
First of all, as we are short of few devs, I was assigned production bugs... Few applications from mobile app were getting fucked up. All fields in db were empty, no customer name, email, mobile number, etc.
I started investigating, took dump from db, analyzed the created_at time stamps. Installed app, tried to reproduce bug, everything worked. Tried API calls from postman, again worked. There were no error emails too.
So I asked for server access logs, devops took 4 hrs just to give me the log. Went through 4 million lines and found 500 errors on mobile apis. Went to the file, no error handling in place.
So I have a bug to fix which occurs 1 in 100 case, no stack trace, no idea what is failing. Fuck my job.

Give me a second to get my todo list.

- get a office/server room built
- setup a home kubernetes cluster
- create an open-source ActivityPub whatsapp clone
- unify existing ActivityPub implementations where an account on one can be used on others
- finish dockerssh
- create an irc bridge for signal messenger.
- find a way to fully provision linux workstations fully unattended

For a unit amount of staying awake I lose less energy now than I did an hour ago.

I just said that.
To an actual human being.
Science is dangerous.

Jesus, I'm SO fed up with this mindless application of CRUD. This application would literally be less than half its current size if we weren't implementing crud for fucking broken device reports and repair offers, stuff that should have many states, a create action strictly bound to a user type and view/field wise edit phases bound to a state-usertype pair.

Damn, I love IRC

When a Google image search on your company name turns up more images of "ME" than the co-founders... Amazing feeling... One of the perks of working in start ups...

I had a question:

If I do -- (downvote) on @dfox rant, will he ban me?

When you help someone on a site besides SO and you don't get any added reputation!

Doing a talk on 'Security in PHP' and live demo on web attacks and safeguard tips this Saturday. Any tips fellow Ranters...?

# NEED SUGGESTIONS

I am working on a secure end to end encrypted note taking web application. I am the sole developer and working on weekends and will make it open source.

The contents you save will be end to end encrypted, and server won't save the key, so even I can't read or NSA or CIA.

So I wanted to know if the idea is good? There are lot of traditional note sharing apps like Google Keep and Evernote. But they store your stuff in plaintext. So as a user will u switch to this secure solution?

Just found out that I have been reassigned to maintain an in house shitty project... It's full of crap code, no documentation, has lot of duct tapes to keep the project together and 20+ open bugs and issues...

I am so happy with my current project. But my manager is always pissed off at me for no apparent reason.

Fuck this shit... Any excuse or advice to dodge this BS project? Can't quit job, I am getting payed alot here.

Today I wrote a python messenger bot which listens to only one command;
get ip
It then replies with its public IP address. I figured this would be the easiest hotfix until I fix my dynamic DNS client.

Now thinking of it I could also make an "update domain" command for doing the API call, and then link the two with a loop and minute delay. Marvelous.

Have a good day. But not today...

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

That awesome feeling when you launch your application on prod server....

*after 5 mins*
Customers start calling about dashboard not working....

Anyone else in the habit of having a PuTTy window signed into a personal server, for stuff like IRC, because it looks too much like work for the boss to question it?

Completed 1 year of experience in web designing and development today...
I haven't even passed out yet. I am still in 4th year computer engineering....
Hands on experience teaches me more than college lectures....

The first Computer experience i can think of is when i was ~4 years old i used to draw things on paint I could print them as well, i think the computer was running windows 98 or 2000.
A few years later i remember my uncle showed me a irc server for pirated software, the client was a CLI so it looked all hacky but i had no idea what was irc,i thought it was just a search engine like google but for piracy stuff.

Asp.net core. There's a page with the users list and invite form. The invite form opens automatically on page load, if the viewmodel isn't valid. So the invite button opens the quack'th page of the table.

There should be a garbage collector for IRC channels. If there's no activity for a given period of time, then just cancel it from above...

I had most fun with my first project that got me into programming:
Simple IRC bot in python, that crawled info about DJ, Artist and Title from internet radio and post it into IRC every time something changes. It took me about month or two since I had to learn everything from zero and I was so excited that it worked.

You know you hit rock bottom when can only comunicate with a chat bot.

Went on a Hackathon with two friends. They didn't do shit. This week, they told me that they only knew c#, so we should switch to that. (I use Linux so I shouldn't have accepted that) Just learned that they are going to a maths camp this week and the deadline is next Sunday. Dotnet core CANNOT PARSE FUCKING JSON. I'll rewrite it in node.js, and hope that I can type fast enough to finish in time. Fuck me, fuck my lazy friends and especially fuck Microsoft for saying that they support Linux while providing a dotnet for Linux published in 200-fucking-5

For the new/aspiring developers:
1. If you are still looking to learn more, but you don't know where to go, start brainstorming. Make a list of projects you could make and sort them by difficulty. Put the ones you could do now at the top of the list, and the ones you aren't sure how to do yet, at the bottom of the list. As you go through them, if you want to do something but aren't sure how, just hop onto an irc chat and everyone will be glad to help. As you go through the projects, your logic and program design skills should improve, as well as your knowledge of programming.
2. Put comments in your code. Seriously. If you are working on a project and suddenly stop working on it for a week or more, you will go back to look at that code and be extremely confused. If you are making something open source, its even more important. If people can understand the code, they are more likely to contribute to it.
3. Try not to focus on code for too long. The longer you work, the more tired your brain gets. Eventually you get tired and make really stupid decisions in your code.
4. Don't code while tired (look at #3)
5. If you are writing code as an assignment, make sure to rename all variables to proper names before submitting it. The instructor will likely not be pleased to see variable names with the f-bomb in them.

Use Windows coz I am too lazy to install Ubuntu...

Do any of you still use IRC ?

I am trying get back in to from a 5 year break. I want to know if bots, bouncers are still relevant and updated. Also since privacy is important how to maintain a sufficient degree of anonymity?

P.s. not looking for alternatives like slack or discord

Wifi not working at my home.... What to do with my life??

Competing on different subjects while in school have taught me how to work efficiently under pressure. My teachers have given me a systemmatic approach to problem solving, from divide and conquer (math), careful reading and analysis of the problem, as well as good documentation (physics).

And last, but not least, I learned to type fast, which is really helpful in speedy expression of thoughts. And for that, I gotta thank IRC.

Here are some:
1. email filters for crap
2. know wtf is your current task and stay on it with minimal context switch
3. get a bot to automate some of your work (build, deploy, health, run tests) inside slack/rocket.chat/otjer-irc-like-software

How does everyone get their team members to shut the fuck up and use IRC once in a while? I don't mind talking but if you're doing it *all* the time, *even when I have headphones on* I don't have any time to do actual work.

When the recruiting company mails you about new jobs along with your PASSWORD!
Dude, you have a fuckall dev and u will help me find a job... Thanks, but no thanks.

People have been thinking about creating an IRC channel for live ranting. Why not just do it?
Feel free to join #devrant in freenode IRC

We devs are installing adblockers. Meanwhile, Google shareholders are clicking all ads to increase Google's revenue...

It's working locally and on Dev server. And not on staging server... Horrible day...

Put my laptop on my lap.
Now it smells like burning plastic and is slow af.
Fuck me.

Too much division fellow devs.

We will never know world peace until 3 people can look each other in the eye...Simultaneously

Youtu.be/UjVoJn7BWdY

When someone keeps on talking when they shouldn't, I always say SIGKILL. It's useful because everyone understands it or at least shuts up.

7 little bug reports jumping on the bed, one got patched and approved
8 little bug reports jumping on the bed...

Just give me a webhook to sighup myself

IRCs are really helpful.
Thanks to helpful people out there.

!rant
In the past 2 days I worked a lot, now I slept 12 hours straight. I don't have any tickets left, and the manager told me to have fun. I haven't felt such freedom in a while.
(The project will be late by a year in February, so until now I always had at least 2 urgent tickets related to topics that I've never heard of before.)

Fellow social skeptics, I need to vent. Flew back into RI for the family, not the various holidays. Fuck christmas. Fuck the societal norm that's been programmed into me and all of us. "Merry Christmas", "Happy holidays".

Yeah that doesn't play so well for my family after your brother dies the night of the 24th.

Even my best friends slip up with it, and even I'm regurgitating the phrases when I'm in public and need to be socially fucking acceptable. It's fascinating to me just how muscle-memory it is. Does that make it hollow in the first place? Is the well wishing the point and the sounds and message secondary?

Whatever it is, I've never felt comfortable in these social situations anyway. If I didn't have to travel to see my family, this would just be another day. So here's a big fuck-that to social obligations and gatherings. I just need a good intellectual conversation or a project to dive into.

devRant reminds me of the good old bash.org except for code instead of IRC

Would you rather use slack or irc to monitor / receive notifications from a server?

I wrote my first proper promise today

I'm building a State-driven, ajax fed Order/Invoice creation UI which Sales Reps use to place purchases for customers over the phone. The backend is a mutated PHP OSCommerce catalog which I've been making strides in refactoring towards OOP/eliminating spahgetti code and the need for a massive bootstrapper file which includes a ton of nonsense (I started by isolating the session and several crucial classes dealing with currency, language and the cart)

I'm using raw JS and jquery with copious reorganization.

I like state driven design, so I write all my data objects as classes using a base class with a simple attribute setter, and then extend the class and define it's attributes as an array which is passed to the parent setter in the construct.

I have also populateFromJson method in the parent class which allows me to match the attribute names to database fields in the backend which returns via ajax.

I achieve the state tracking by placing these objects into an array which underscore.js Observe watches, and that triggers methods to update the DOM or other objects.

Sure, I could do this in react but
1) It's in an admin area where the sales reps using it have to use edge/chrome/Firefox
2) I'm still climbing the react learning curve, so I can rapid prototype in jquery faster instead of getting hung up on something I don't understand
3) said admin area already uses jquery anyway
4) I like a challenge

Implementing promises is quickly turning messy jquery ajax calls into neat organized promise based operations that fit into my state tracking paradigm, so all jquery is responsible for is user interaction events.

The big flaw I want to address is that I'm still making html elements as JS strings to generate inputs/fields into the pseudo-forms.

Can anyone point me in the direction of a library or practice that allows me to generate Dom elements in a template-style manner.

Making the scarab from Halo 2 a working vehicle in Halo Custom Edition

I need a task queue for my life. A 'The Sims' style set of icons om desktop OS that breaks down into details, checklists, related pages I've visited/researched. cross platform so I can keep track on my phone.

I'm not to big to admit I need skynet to keep me on the tracks

Allo app stole devRant icon for notifications in top bar.... So much confusion....

What is something I can make as a hobby to learn go better? I've made software like a text editor in python, games in Java and c++, software in c, and irc bots in ruby.

Is go used for anything that I can make as a hobby? I'm not in college or out of it yet so I don't have a job as a dev either.

Thanks

After 2 days i have successfully installed an IRC server on my raspberry :-D

Yeah, that's the API for traffic info in the capital city of Hungary.

Y'all panicking about act 13, but I'm happy because the developing dictatorship that I call my home had finally been accepted illicit. I'm talking about Hungary and Victor Orbán, the angry gnome.

Finally after 3 fucking months, 15-20 fucking meetings, I got sign off for a feature release. The development took 3 weeks and was completed in March end.

I know being a financial institution and feature was regarding system handling funds, business guys need to worry a bit as any mistake in code can mess up the funds disbursal. But fuckers took 3 months to give sign off.

However, it's finally released and I can relax for now. #peace

Closing the IRC-Window

To not get fired. I'm a student at the best high school in my country, so it's really unusual that I work besides school. I want to prove that it's not only possible but beneficial. I already learned a lot, but if I won't get fired, I'll be close to senior level by the time I start working full-time, which will help a lot with university.

Multiplayer 3D engine architects:

While building the inital engine of your team's renderer and network systems, what were the most helpful things members of your team could provide?

Awesome feature by devRant...
You can't post your password in rants or comments... See:
My password is ***********

Try now! When you post you can see the password, but others will only see '*'.

-If you fell for this, u r a noob.

The sticker would look amazing on my laptop, too bad i'm not going to get one soon 🙁🙁

Management that understands and respects the true virus like nature of technical debt. Considers the implications of bolting on more features. Gives me a place at the table in decision making regarding these matters.

Don't settle for any less.

PHP gurus / masochists.

I've been using Symfony components for new, isolated features in a legacy php application for awhile now. the time has come to integrate using the kernel, and routing for new endpoints while existing endpoints use the existing apache means of loading pages.

It's not my first rodeo doing this, but I'd appreciate any wisdom/resources/patterns you followed for anyone who's had to do the same.

My clients don't have the means to do hire the appropriate ammount of devs to do a proper port, so this is a long path towards modernization by ceasing to bolt on features to existing code and instead, when working on something, updating it to the new design pattern and then extending that, with a spec, documentation and code coverage.

Discovered yesterday that my company blocks IRC ports... Sad day. Why, why would you do this?! Oh the humanity! 😭

Hey guys, perhaps some of you might be able to help me out.
My current task in my job is to implement an OAuth2 client in Android. I know there are a lot of out-of-the-box solutions for like Twitter, Facebook, Google etc. but I need to make it work with a generic OAuth2 server.

So I tried several frameworks for Android like AppAuth, Scribejava, etc. and most of them are buggy/outdated or aren't working with the Android version I have to use (API 24, Nougat).
I already asked for help in the android-dev IRC channel, but to no avail. Also looked up dozens of repositories on Github.

I'm rather desperate right now, because I'm running out of time :(

Any help/pointers are appreciated!
Thanks!