my mother brought me a external hard drive.. she asked me can i check what is wrong with it.. i opened it up and i just began to laugh

Someone steals my external monitor.
me: That's my monitor
thief: No its mine. See all my desktop icons are there.
me: speechless

My mother just referred to my external hdd bay as a computer toaster...

I remember last year in school one of my teachers had us make a little web page with HTML and CSS. She was confused when I was using an external CSS stylesheet. She thought all the CSS had to be in a style tag inside of the index.html file...

The time my sister dropped the external HDD with every single picture of our family between 2000-2009.
I was 16 at the time, and it made me paranoid like I am today.

Three offsites backups, and three local ones currently and always trying to do expand.

Manager: "How long will this take?"
Me: "Er... it depends."
Manager: "Depends on what?"
Me: "Well, if the reactive hyperflux core's external dampeners are--"
Manager: "Yeah, yeah, whatever just get it done."
Me: "You got it boss."

Google: “Your websites must load the first byte in under 500ms and be fully loaded with no render blocking and local caching of all external site callouts to even begin to rank in Google searches.”

Me: “Ok, Google. Your wish is my command.”

*Looks at Chrome’s memory usage to load a blank page*

After countless Google searches for the past 3 years, I've written a small script to get my internal & external IP addresses with one command!

My bio professor has a word doc called passwords that she keeps on an unencrypted external hard drive.

She leaves the hard drive in the room with all of her other stuff when she goes for a break between classes.

And this is why you do backups...
More pictures in comments.

If Windows 10 auto changes my keyboard to US one more fucking time I'm going to move it off my PC on to an external HDD and fuck it in a fucking volcano before moving to Linux.

SORT YOUR SHIT OUT WINDOWS, I'M CLEARLY IN THE FUCKING UK.

/Rant

The most famous ranter in devRant (maybe) rants now due to cleaning.

LG Ultrawide 29" monitor
Logitech bluetooth keyboard K380
Logitech wireless mouse B175
Rubber ducky

LG UltraPC laptop (not in pic)
- Intel core i5 7th gen
- 8gb ram
- 256gb ssd + external 1tb hdd
- NVIDIA GeForce 940MX

My teacher.

My 4th semester of college, I had a class about Software Engineering, the teacher started involving me in external projects, he actually taught me almost everything I know, now we work for the same company and he is my mentor and one of my dearest friends

Who the fuck had the idea to deliver the driver for an external optical drive on a DVD?!

Hell no!

Upgrading storage.

Windows: Replace HDD with higher capacity.

MacBook Air: Start using SD card slot as external storage.

Remember guys, when naming your firstborn child you can cause a stack overflow in the system’s memory by naming it %5E2019F% allowing you to sideload unsigned external code and run DOOM

I discovered a worker was storing files on a IoT refrigerator. He had an external hard drive duct taped to the back of it.

Just a 60 year old teachers desk and some awesome screens....MacBook pro with 3 external for work with a gaming rig when 5.30 rolls around....

My office has blocked access to all external websites. Only internal, self-hosted sites under our domain work.

P E A K. S E C U R I T Y.

Me: What's device and android version do you use on the emulator?

External developer: NuGet

Wtf?

So turns out,using my external monitor as my primary monitor and my laptop as a second was an excellent idea.

Wait... What?

Today, I reached a new level of laziness.

I lied down to watch a movie and I was too lazy to copy the movie from my external hard drive which was in the other side of the bed.

What did I do? I've downloaded the movie once again and watched.

We have a bruteforce?

[30.01.19 11:25]🧠 WARNING (EXTERNAL IP): Not Found: /a
[30.01.19 11:25]🧠 WARNING (EXTERNAL IP): Not Found: /ac
[30.01.19 11:25]🧠 WARNING (EXTERNAL IP): Not Found: /acc
[30.01.19 11:25]🧠 WARNING (EXTERNAL IP): Not Found: /acco
[30.01.19 11:25]🧠 WARNING (EXTERNAL IP): Not Found: /accou
[30.01.19 11:25]🧠 WARNING (EXTERNAL IP): Not Found: /accoun
[30.01.19 11:25]🧠 WARNING (EXTERNAL IP): Not Found: /account
[30.01.19 11:26]🧠 WARNING (EXTERNAL IP): Not Found: /accounts/
[30.01.19 11:27]🧠 WARNING (EXTERNAL IP): Not Found: /accounts/lo
[30.01.19 11:27]🧠 WARNING (EXTERNAL IP): Not Found: /accounts/log
[30.01.19 11:27]🧠 WARNING (EXTERNAL IP): Not Found: /accounts/logi

No only a skiddie who try very hard

Countless times. Here is two:
- when he said he prefers an external hdd over git
- when he said that git is just a shiny new thing, we young devs use just because it's new
- etc

Always satisfying when clients say our API doesn't work and it's shit, only to find out their firewall prevented external calls.

Recruiter:

... the bank purchased a 3rd party tool and hired a 3rd party development team to add some features to the tool. That external team hired their own 3rd party team, and now there are 400+ bugs in the system. Would you like to work as a test-automation lead on this project?

Me: Fuuuucck no.

I wrote in a rant here that I couldn't access my 1TB external hard-drive anymore because I refused to "Safely remove" it from my computer.

My brother sent me today an image with it, showing me that he managed to open it.

I can't tell you how happy I am!

The solution: if you encounter the same problem (it takes forever for windows to scan it and you can't open it/ on linux it tells you to go to windows and and properly eject it), just go to `Device Manager` and `Scan for new hardware`. This should find it & solve it

"It's faster to just use one mysql table with 300 columns then linking the data in 10 tables. 10 tables mean 10x the load time!"...

- External consultant hired for optomizing database. (He didn't make it through the day and was sent home...)

Me: Instead of doing X we could do Y, that would be better.
Boss: No, bad idea we keep doing X.
a few months later
Someone external: You could do Y
Boss: That is a great idea. lets do Y.

It happened just now.

Yes, I put "there is no need to be upset 10 hours" on governmental terminal.

#hackerman

How? Well, I discovered that it was web ui, so random menu category -> random external governmental website with Google map on it -> you know the rest.

When an external webdeveloper creating the website for the company you start working for says something is not possible in CSS and complicated Js is needed and you're like: "who hired this wannebe developer?! Give me a minute or two"

The feeling when you type "ls" in Windows CMD and wait for output. But it's say, "ls is not recognized as internal or external command".

when i was fired as an external contractor with half an hour notice, because i didn't process enough tickets. I didn't process many tickets because:
1. In the morning everyone grabs tickets just to stop the timer.
2. I worked on some complicated tasks that involved multiple third and fourth parties(not to forget an fucking dropping firewall)

them: "This external HD isn't compatible with my Mac."
me: "It is, it probably just needs to be formatted."
them: *hands me box, with HD still in plastic wrap*

So, how do you know it's not compatible?

!Rant

Hey I was wondering if anyone had any recommendations for external software I should get for coding?

I've heard good things about git?
Any suggestions?

It feels SO good to have nothing to lose on your system! Code on GitHub, pictures on an external disk, documents on Google Drive and OneDrive and bookmarks etc. on my Google Account. If my PC were to crash completely then I wouldn't be as lost as I'd normally be :D

We are taking over an Android application source code from an external company to continue development in-house...
I present to you floateger:
(one of many crimes the previous developer has commited)

My setup is basically a MacBook Pro connected to an external display😊

TIL: There are phones with 512GB and even 1TB internal storage... WHO THE FUCK NEEDS THAT MUCH STORAGE IN THEIR PHONE?!! Your phone becomes an external 1TB SSD with a touchscreen at that point...

Accidentally plugged external disk into usb2 instead of USB 3 didn't realise till half way through 60GB VM's copy.

-Hi, my PlayStation’s storage is almost full? Can you change it?
Me: yes, but why not just buy an external one....
-We can’t add games on it.
Me: ... See here. Read. It’s possible. How much storage does the PS have now?
-93GB
Me: ... Total? 500 GB?
-Yes, I think.
Me: buy a 4 TB one will last long enough.
-Ok. Can you come to install it if it’s arrived?
Me: Ok...

Can’t people just read on fucking internet how to connect an external drive to a PlayStation??
I don’t understand... I’m a software guy not fucking hardware...

Today I start a 3 years journey towards my PhD thesis. An underrated thing for a software engineer but I need an external motivation for my passion.

But what the FUCK VULTR!!!
It is the third time in two weeks that I actually have to reopen issues because your staff do not know how to troubleshoot correctly!

If there is routingproblems, please check from an external server and not from the same network!

I dont know, but Vultr has significantly lost the servicemind during this year...
Time for another host?

In-app browsers in mobile apps are so fucking pointless. People have default browsers for a reason. Why the fuck would I want to open external links in your shitty in-app browser?

- Deep-linking wouldn’t work.
- Users might not be authenticated to view the external links so they’ll need to sign the fuck in again - through your app.

Why the fuck do people do this shit?

Just another big rant story full of WTFs and completely true.

The company I work for atm is like the landlord for a big german city. We build houses and flats and rent them to normal people, just that we want to be very cheap and most nearly all our tenants are jobless.
So the company hired a lot of software-dev-companies to manage everything.

The company I want to talk about is "ABI...", a 40-man big software company. ABI sold us different software, e.g. a datawarehouse for our ERP System they "invented" for 300K or the software we talk about today: a document management system. It has workflows, a 100 year-save archive system, a history feature etc.
The software itself, called ELO (you can google it if you want) is a component based software in which every company that is a "partner" can develop things into, like ABI did for our company.

Since 2013 we pay ABI 150€ / hour (most of the time it feels like 300€ / hour, because if you want something done from a dev from ABI you first have to talk to the project manager of him and of course pay him too). They did thousand of hours in all that years for my company.

In 2017 they started to talk about a module in ELO called Invoice-Module. With that you can manage all your paper invoices digital, like scan that piece of paper, then OCR it, then fill formular data, add data and at the end you can send it to the ERP system automatically and we can pay the invoice automatically. "Digitization" is the key word.

After 1.5 years of project planning and a 3 month test phase, we talked to them and decided to go live at 01.01.2019. We are talking about already ~ 200 hours planning and work just from ABI for this (do the math. No. Please dont...).

I joined my actual company in October 2018 and I should "just overview" the project a bit, I mean, hey, they planned it since 1.5 years - how bad can it be, right?

In the first week of 2019 we found 25 bugs and users reporting around 50 feature requests, around 30 of them of such high need that they can't do their daily work with the invoices like they did before without ELO.
In the first three weeks of 2019 we where around 70 bugs deep, 20 of them fixed, with nearly 70 feature requests, 5 done. Around 10 bugs where so high, that the complete system would not work any more if they dont get fixed.

Want examples?
- Delete a Invoice (right click -> delete, no super deep hiding menu), and the server crashed until someone restarts it.
- missing dropdown of tax rate, everything was 19% (in germany 99,9% of all invoices are 19%, 7% or 0%).

But the biggest thing was, that the complete webservice send to ERP wasn't even finished in the code.
So that means we had around 600 invoices to pay with nearly 300.000€ of cash in the first 3 weeks and we couldn't even pay 1 cent - as a urban company!

Shortly after receiving and starting to discussing this high prio request with ABI the project manager of my assigned dev told me he will be gone the next day. He is getting married. And honeymoon. 1 Week. So: Wish him luck, when will his replacement here?

Deep breath.
Deep breath.

There was no replacement. They just had 1 developer. As a 40-people-software-house they had exactly one developer which knows ELO, which they sold to A LOT of companies.

He came back, 1 week gone, we asked for a meeting, they told us "oh, he is now in other ELO projects planned, we can offer you time from him in 4 weeks earliest".

To cut a long story short (it's to late for that, right?) we fought around 3 month with ABI to even rescue this project in any thinkable way. The solution mid February was, that I (software dev) would visit crash courses in ELO to be the second developer ABI didnt had, even without working for ABI....

Now its may and we decided to cut strings with ABI in ELO and switch to a new company who knows ELO. There where around 10 meetings on CEO-level to make this a "good" cut and not a bad cut, because we can't afford to scare them (think about the 300K tool they sold us...).

01.06.2019 we should start with the new company. 2 days before I found out, by accident, that there was a password on the project file on the server for one of the ELO services. I called my boss and my CEO. No one knows anything about it. I found out, that ABI sneaked into this folder, while working on another thing a week ago, and set this password to lock us out. OF OUR OWN FCKING FILE.
Without this password we are not able to fix any bug, develop any feature or even change an image within ELO, regardless, that we paid thausend of hours for that.

When we asked ABI about this, his CEO told us, it is "their property" and they will not remove it.
When I asked my CEO about it, they told me to do nothing, we can't scare them, we need them for the 300K tool.

No punt.
No finish.

Just the project file with a password still there today

Ladies and gentlemens, my everyday workstation.. at work.

i5-5300 2,30Ghz, 8gb ram and 128ssd. Bloated external screen with low resolution and even lower colour saturation.

Running VM, handling big as images, editing and a tiny bit coding.. and they wonder why I'm asking for a new setup..

(._.) ( l: ) ( .-. ) ( :l ) (._.)

Cheers ☕

I'm a graduate developer with 1 year experience. Was asked to improve the performance of a feature which was written by external consultants on £1000 per day, and in its worst case takes 2 hours to complete. I rewrote it and got it down to 1 minute 27 seconds.

Manager: "Well yeah, but can you not get it any faster?"

...

Issue reporter:
Feed from external service provider is overwriting the wrong things, pls fix

Resolution:
Service provider is sending duplicate unique IDs, you need to get with them to discuss

Service provider response:
This is a *RE-USABLE UNIQUE ID* . . . The bottom line is you should not use this UNIQUE ID as a primary key.

Why do _devs_ still use shared hosting (and then bitch about it)?

"This thing won't let me use external SMTP" - "I can't use more than 2 domains for my site" - "I can't change X in PHP config" ...

You're a dev, VPS prices are pretty much on the same level as shared hosting, and setting those things up isn't exactly rocket science either.

My colleague does not use git (well, not for much), hates all external frameworks, and when he sees my code he tells me "that's not how I would have done this", every single goddamn time. Aaand we are the only two developers in our company.

Today I was working on an issue related to adding icons to external links. I'm no CSS ninja, I never claimed to be. Somehow I wrote some really nice CSS that works well cross-browser. Now I'm scared they're gonna think I'm good at CSS.

!rant
Wish me luck! Just landed a new exciting job as full stack developer! Finally I get to do what I truly want!!!
I can't express how happy I am right now! Finally done with being a supporter!! (was originally hired to only manage Windows servers and not doing external customer support)

I've just added the possibility to connect to an external game server to my app and immediately regret it. People started sending me emails saying that it doesn't work. What they entered in the URL bar? "hi", "cunt" and a porn website...

If we had a devRant vote on the most annoying word of 2018, I'd vote for "token".
Token here, token there, token yourself in the rear!

Some project I'm currently working on has to fetch 4 different tokens for these syphillis-ridden external CUNTful APIs.
Your mother inhales dicks at the trainstation toilet for one token!

Abstract anything dealing with external services where if they go out of business, change their internal policies, or you get a wild hair up your ass you won't have to change your entire code base later.

External Dev. Job aplication website - please attach resume. CLICK. Unknown document format: (your format .pdf, acceptable format .PDF). 🤔

After months I finally received an email from the external partner's support team!

```
Please be informed that we consider your Incident "XXX: How to Y?" as closed with status: Closed.
```

Why thank you.

Today I told to my Project Manager that after one year of taking care ( explaining thousands of lines of codes) to an external team ( another company) to migrate our application from a monolith to microservices + react, that the React UI they build looks like shit.

He replied "at least it works".

Now I must find the courage to tell him that it doesn't work correctly because instead of a simple *migration* the external team rewrote some algorithms used in a bank application and now the data are wrong.

advices ?

Why 4 TB external disk only read for 3.7 TB? Where's the fahking 0.3 TB / 300gb
...?
*RIP English, sorry*

!rant

Today I cleaned my computer SSD (moved ~30GB to a 2TB external drive) and I found 12GB of lost projects.

I thought that I've lost them years ago. They were just looking at me in their big folder.

So this is my setup,
An over heating partially broken laptop with external Monitor.. 😭😭

Show yours 🤔

*packing for a school-hosted graduation celebration with friends*
let's see, first rule of packing for a trip, count on every slim chance happening...

List of things now in backpack:
3 changes of clothes (1-night trip for an all night party in <100-MILE-AWAY MAJOR CITY>)
Laptop
3DS
3x 4-port USB Hubs
10-port power strip (not fully in bag, but mostly so.)
Extra pair of shoes
3.5" external floppy drive
First aid kit
SAK
precision driver set
soldering set
multitool
pliers (1x farmer's, 1x bent needlenose)
multimeter
empty laptop HDD (250GB)
magnet in Altoids tin (can't have it trashing the HDD!)
VGA to RGB (Composite ends) adapter
Composite/S-VIDEO USB capture card
Portable USB chargers (1x 30k mAh 2-port, 1x superslim 3k mAh 1-port)
Enough phone chargers to replace all chargers within 30 miles
Smelling salts
2x 16GB thumbdrives
Boot disc set
$200
School IDs (for bag's ID slot)
3 pairs of decent earbuds (no el cheapo $1 ones because they break trying to get them out of the package)
Serial to USB adapter
Rehydration salts
Magnesium fire striker
Plenty of pens and pencils
Emergency radio locator beacon
Emergency cellular locator beacon
SD/eMMC/CF/TF/MCP(D) USB reader
external HDD reader (2.5" IDE/3.5" IDE/SATA, external power)

am i missing anything?

Got my program hooked up to an external sql database that’s ready to be fed into by PHP, hosted on an SSL website, fixed up all the other bugs with TONS of other stuff.

4:23 A.M. and feelin’ good.

A few months ago, we asked an external company to create a simple project since we lack the developers now...

I've just looked into it and the first thing we found was Evil Rick (from Rick & Morty)

My laptop is screwed. The laptop's monitor doesn't light up at all. An external monitor works with heavy artifacts.

When you spend an entire day debugging the client side halfway losing your mind, then you realize the 3rd party service API is to blame.

UUUggh!

SSD vs (external) HDD.... :(

Overconfidence​ is striking again. Some companies are really begging for it... Found this cup in the kitchen of a client. And it is the slogan of an external contractor. It says: this network is unavailable for hackers. I think this is worth at least a triple facepalm

GOD DAMN !@^@ react-native bridge to #@$^&ing objective-c bridge to an intermediate objective-c friendly #$@!ing swift class to communicate to a @$#!ing external swift framework #$@!ing POS!

And $!@# you Apple Mach-O Linker error!

How can I use a custom DNS server on my schools network?

They seem to block any DNS that isn't their own. I've tried 8.8.8.8 and the new cloudflare one. Both blocked, it's a real issue because their default dns dies for about a minute every 12/24 hrs causing my VPN to go down.

How do they even block external DNS servers?

Is it normal that IT support of a multinational bigass corporate drops the "we may need to change your PC because maybe your network card is defective" after explaining over and over that you have problems with HTTPS only when using the corporate network (whether onsite or via VPN) and not in external connections?

When the boss externalize a mobile app that it could be done internally with existing resources for 10% of the external price and at the end the mobile app experience has creepy experience and so bad reviews ... In the meeting, Boss says that we learn to our fails but I was thinking something else:

Boss: The numbers on the report don't look right. Can you check?

Me: <checks> Yep! I verified the numbers against all external data sources and they match perfectly.

Boss: OK well we need to take a deeper look because they don't look right.

Me: ... I don't follow?

Boss: The numbers... don't... feel right.

I'm installing Unity. Choosing the "sign in with Google" option, this leads to a screen asking for my Google account and password - *inside the installer*. No external browser.
What made them think it's legitimate? Why can't they just open my web browser for this? Why should I trust them with my email password?

Could probably write one myself, but fuck me I wish there was a ready plugin for vsCode or a tool that can fetch external resources into selected folders (e.g css, js, .. in the public folder) and replace it inside the code, it has been way too many times that I synced my code base and went out with my laptop, just to realize I forgot half of it has external resources like bootstrap and my mobile connection is terrible enough to call it quits.

Uh-oh I fucked up.

Not at work, but with my website where I had an email forwarder to an external address. The forwarding was everything so that I could do the spam filtering and occasional check in one place. Unfortunately, that triggered the spam detection at the external address (after some years!), and my provider ended up on a blacklist.

That got me a pretty angry mail from my hosting provider who had already disabled the forwarding and wanted to make sure that I understood the issue and would not put it in again.

I thought about whether they had fucked up because it was even possible to do that, or whether I had fucked up because I should have known. Hm yeah I opted for the latter and apologised.

The support guy seemed happy that I didn't try to argue (possibly like other customers...), and advised that I just should add another account in my email client. Sure, at least that will prevent this shit from happening again.

He also mentioned that every single blacklist issue they had experienced in this year was accidental due to external forwarding issues and that they would consider just disabling it altogether.

Which is probably a smart move, just as hint for these ranters here who work at hosting companies. Or at least only enable external forwarding if spam assassin or so is in place.

Had suggested using Workstations and external monitors for the workforce to improve the overall productivity.

Fell on Deaf Ears...

Now, almost a year later, suggestions come from the top level asking for the same !
😒

Just saw someone trying to sell an internal 4TB hard drive because they thought they ordered an external drive...

The internal drive is a server grade fucking drive?!?!

Surely you would be confused as to why the price for what you thought was an external hard drive was so damn high?!

Fuck you external API that only exists to communicate with us for refusing our connection at 1am

A few days after the vacation, daddy (me) finally finished copying all the photos from the digital camera to the big external hard drive. Left it lying in the living room, in the corner where all the tech stuff frequently lies. In come my boys, and I'm not sure why, they start plugging power supplies around. Unfortunately the one from the laptop fit into the hole on the external disk, but had a different (higher) voltage. Result: 1 fried hard drive, containing all the baby photos and videos of said boys up that time.
I still believe that it's only the circuit board that is fried, and the data is still all there. I still have the hope to find a used disk, replace the board and all will be back.

So I had my external HD connected so thought I'd back up my code...

But real into a problem... The git repo.... Currently copying 300,000 files... For just 10 projects...

Got myself this on new year. For all my data. Hope it's a good decision!

Happy New Year everyone ^_^

Western Digital, please, for the love of all things holy and not entirely shit, stop making your external hard drives flash a fucking flashlight when they are in "sleep" mode (attached to a sleeping laptop for example). I would like to sleep you beerpissers!

When a bunch of unit tests start failing locally because the AWS secret key got rotated.
oh wait...
THOSE AREN’T UNIT TESTS!!!
Unit tests do not depend on any external system, that includes AWS...
AAARRGHHHHH

Kubernetes is a breeze they said. Now I‘m sitting here for several hours trying to find out why my pods randomly fail to resolve domain names.

Coming along my adventure: broken systemd configs, systemd-resolved stub causing loops, broken k3s modules and finding out that busybox‘s nslookup is broken for versions greater than v1.28.4.

50 issues later, I figured out that the dude who setup the corporate network (where the machine in question is located) uses two nameservers: one to resolve the internal routes and one for all the external domains. Luckily, coredns randomly picks a nameserver for each request. Therefore, sometimes queries for external domains reach the nameserver dedicated to the internal network which then answers with NXDOMAIN.

I hate networking so so much...

Dear laptop vendors, stop wasting so much precious device estate on nothing!

This wasted physical space could easily fit in six USB ports, or four USB ports and two HDMI ports, or four USB ports and one HDMI and one LAN. Or four USB ports and two SD card slots.

> "Who the heck needs 6 USB ports?"

You don't need more USB ports… until the day you do need them comes.

> "HDMI and LAN are feature creep!"

It's "feature creep", until you need it.

> "Ever heard of USB hubs?"

While better than nothing, they are tedious to carry around and can hardly support more than one external high-power device such as an external hard drive or blu-ray drive, except if you have an external power adapter, which is even more tedious to carry.

Also, have fun closing programs until the operating system stops whining "volume is busy" just so you can unmount your external SSD and then reconnect it through a USB hub. Sounds like fun, huh?

You were playing audio from your external SSD? Too bad. Now you need to close the media player to be able to unmount the SSD, then later restart it and seek the last position. And all of that could be avoided if your laptop happened to have one more USB port.

Decided to learn C++ to write a server daemon for Linux. That's going to be a nightmare. I haven't managed to do anything in 4 hours. How do I use external libraries?! 😭😭

The IT policy at my company is down right ridiculous. You’re required admin rights to fucking move desktop shortcuts to the trash, all chrome extensions and almost anything you download from the internet is a ‘virus’, good luck getting driver support for external devices.

Was working on a game and I hated having to hardcode stuff I wanted to add so I started splitting it into external json files but by the end (and to an extent still learning it) learnt how to do mod support and simple user generated content, really cool stuff to learn about.

IT CAN'T BE THAT HARD

1) A CONTROLLER RETURNS HTTP RESPONSES, computed using data received from
2) A SERVICE\MANAGER\YOURMOTHER, which fetches data from a DB\external service\whatever

LITERALLY 2 FUCKING STEPS. I'LL TAKE THAT "SENIOR" IN YOUR TITLE AND CHISEL IT ON YOUR FOREHEAD SO YOU'LL REMEMBER WHAT YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE WHEN YOU COMMIT THIS FUCKING GARBAGE

Seagate: A reliable source of unreliable NAS Drives. Rest assured, that they're gonna fail way before everything else, so that you're warned, when your other drives may not last much longer too ◔ᴗ◔

I stopped laughing, when my NAS' external Backup Drive, a Seagate, started throwing I/O Errors ๏̯͡๏

Trying to develop Java applications in Windows...

sed s/Java applications/anything/g

'sed' is not recognized as internal or external command, operable program or batch file

*sigh*

Wrote a image generation api which uses a headless browser within 2 days ^^ it generates an image like the one below in around 500ms while also loading external resources like that avatar and the icons. ^^

TL;DR

Got Salesforce customised by an external company, took over the code and wanted to cry.

So my company decided to get a new crm for sales with contract generation and a whole lot of fluff. Specs included an easy to implement API to connect to our in-house software and an easy to adjust contract Wizard.

After month of checking various companies the CEO finally settled on...
Drumroll
The cheapest German based company.
Turns out the only part that is based in Germany is the sales department, development is based in Poland which made for interesting times during implementation because of the language barrier that comes with non native english speakers.

We as in our development department for told that we wouldn't need to worry about the solution because it would all be developed and maintained by the new company. As we are fairly small that was more then welcome.

Fast forward to integration day. No docs for the API available, contract Wizard is hardcoded, bunch of errors and inconsistencies. Get tickets for them.
Ok we can deal with this. Just tell the ticket writer he needs to address the problems with the external. Yep, doesn't work. External fixes bugs and introduces then elsewhere.
Fml. Ok I'll take a look into the code. Ugh, Java, I hate that shit but at least I don't need to worry about all the fluff, just the code, so it's ok.
No repository present, code is developed in the Dev environment and pushed to prod. Ugly but works. Code comes with a lot of functions but only one real class called "CommonUtilities" ... even the web API is defined in there. Meanwhile my colleague throws out the need for the API because we will just directly tie to SOQL. I'll let's check what's going on here, nice you reused Lead/Account/Contact for the branch offices of companies as well...
Is not like Salesforce has a bunch of logic tied to these objects...
Nice the required implementation of an automatic holiday import is not even there, just a custom object populated with this year's data...

Tell CEO how badly all of this was handled. Nice note this dumpster fire is our new in-house project because CEO cancelled the contract with the external.

Ok we can deal with this, let's set up a repo, define the CI/CD and get the extensions for vscode. Nice now this all makes sense. Fix all bugs and reimplement the contract Wizard using custom objects that sales can change so the contract is actually easily customizable by a non dev. Implement branches as their own object to avoid opportunities, triggers and the likes to be executed for them.
Took a whole day. Why did these 2000 lines of code that was shipped to us take 3 month to implement?

Lesson learned: never trust an external to just do a good job.
New rule implemented by company to always have a Dev check in regular intervals on projects handled by externals for standards and overall logic

10k down the drain for what amounted to 2 weeks tops (one dev) if we had handled the implementation of Salesforce and all the requirements in-house

I just want to thank Apple that has switched the Alt and Cmd keys. Every time I use an external keyboard I thank them...

Why is nothing ever simple?
I was reviewing a ticket to update the external libraries to the latest versions and ended up finding a bug in the newest version of one of the external libraries...

Use the terminal inside ide or external?

When the small display of the notebook has the double resolution of the big external monitor...

When windows update breaks external audio card 😫

Hardware irony - clicking "eject" for an external HDD that's asleep wakes it up just to immediately send it to sleep again.

Not using github and keeping my finished projects somewhere for past 10 years.

I've started when I was 13, I'm 23 now and only recently have I started saving my code on an external drive, a cloud and on some on github.

The cleaner locked my account out by placing my external keyboard on top of my laptop keyboard. And it wad holding down the enter key at the logon screen where it asks for password............

You know what you shouldnt do? Leave your bag with your work laptop at the stairs.

Woke up as normal today and helped the kids down the stairs without checking. Then I just heard how I stepped on something.

Lets say its a big crack in the middle of the screen and you see shit. But gladly it work with work with external screens so its just the screen that are damaged. So tomorrow I must either:

- Work as normal with an external monitor and simply wait to call the boss for fix until after christmas.

- Or call the boss and tell him how stupid I am and hope its okay and I van get a new one/fix this.

Right now I feel for the first one.

Just had a Skype call that explained a Skype chat about the fact that I can't do anything on a task, because we are waiting for another (external) dev do finish his work.

Time wasted for Skype chat: 10 min
Time wasted for Skype call: 20 min
Time wasted for stopping myself from doing any harm to the user: 30 min

For 2 hours I've been looking for the reason why my mouse and external hard drives suddenly stop working, just to find out that my external USB hub is junk and caused a short circuit that disabled all the USB ports on my laptop.

USB Hub (Logitech, $30) replaced with a cheap one from China ($1). Now everything works again.

TLDR filling disk space

Filling almost all c drive and buying more and more external storage.
When downloading new software, open file explorer -> my computer -> press f5 every 10 seconds to see your drive taking place.

Whoever the fuck in windows decided it is a good idea to start doing a 24h+ repair on an external hard drive which doesnt even have the OS, on boot, should burn in hell.

God. I cant handle windows and its stupidity even for the 1 hr i use it to play games.

As a student, I live in a house with friends and the actual didn't have a table in my room.
So after one month waiting for a answer of the owner I decided to buy one in second hand. All I can say is that I love it.
Any suggestions to some improvements?

PS: external drive is only temporary

Vue is amazing at all but fuck...never try to create some kind of layer on top of it or use external events inside. It is hell, trust me. I hate myself so much now. Shieet.
Now I am crying here with fucked up data flow and such complex hard to debug creature...

What the hecking heck. My Javascript doesn't work in Edge EXCEPT for when I open - only open - the developer console, then everything works fine. And it is hard to debug stuff without developer tools, especially since Edge doesn't note console.info when the developer console is closed.
(No, I'm not even using external scripts)

Server bios corruption, yaay.
Server external backups, naay.

This happened just before migration to another server. I feel stupid for not having proper backups now, and molested by a dying panda because its less than 6 months ago i got the server. It was used, but still.

Fun experience backing up my laptop drice to external hdd :

1 folder : 100 sub folders with 12000 files, size 6gb
>> Ctrl A-> ctrl C -> ctrl v
>> Copying time 55 mins , files remaining 12000
CANCEL CANCEL CANCEL!!

>> add to archive (5 mins) -> ctrl c, ctrl v
>> copying time 6 mins , files remaining 1

(*Insert hackerman meme here*)

Dropping an external hdd with my yr 12 media assessment on it.

(!rant) When starting out as a web developer, I did my first project for a external vendor for which I was paid in form of a lunch and some hope of more projects.
For the second project, I was paid one month of agreed upon amount for two months of work.

What's your story?

"Almost everything – all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure – these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important." - Steve Jobs

I was returning something at MicroCenter the other day. The guy in front of me was picking up a laptop be brought in to have fixed. They had replaced the motherboard, and put all his old data on an external drive.

"So what's this?"

"This is an external hard drive. We copied all the data from your laptop onto it and put a fresh install on it."

"So .. how do I get to it?"

"You just plug it in, over USB."

"So how ... how does that work."

This goes on for a while. Shop owner has to start his computer. Plug in the drive. There was a lot of, "So everything that was on here, is now on here?"

The guy had no basic understanding of external hard drives, USB, copying files ... thankfully while the files were copying from the hard drive to his desktop, he said he needed a longer cable to the router so he could put it on the other side of the room. It took the guy behind the desk an unreasonable amount of time to direct him to the isle with the Ethernet cables, but once he did, I was finally able to return my item.

I'm glad I no longer work in desktop support.

My 2tb portable external hard disk is messed up :( . The disk isn't spinning. It is under warranty but I am so depressed.

Personal mini-project from a million years ago which I practically don't maintain anymore, broke. External APIs are being bitches.
Made a fix, but I'm too lazy to push. (I don't think anyone else is using it tbh)
Huehuehue.

We use at our company one of the largest Python ORM and dont code ourselfs on it, event tough I can code. Its some special contract which our General Manager made, before we as Devs where in the Project and everything is provided from the external Company as Service. The Servers are in our own Datacenter, but we dont have access.

We have our Consultants (Project Manager) as payd hires and they got their own Devs.

Im in lead of Code Reviews and Interfaces. Also Im in the "Run" Team, which observes, debuggs and keeps the System alive as 3rd-Level (Application Managers).

What Im trying to achieve is going away from legacy .csv/sftp connections to RestAPI and on large Datasets GraphQL. Before I was on the Project, they build really crappy Interfaces.

Before I joined the Project in my Company, I was a Dev for a couple of Finance Applications and Webservices, where I also did coding on Business critical Applications with high demand Scaling.

So forth, I was moved by my Boss over to the Project because it wasn't doing so well and they needed our own Devs on it.

Alot of Issues/Mistakes I identified in the Software:
- Lots of Code Bugs
- Missing Process Logic
- No Lifecycle
- Very fast growing Database
- A lot of Bad Practices

Since my switch I fixed alot of bugs, was the man of the hour for fixing major Incidents and so on so forth. A lot of improvements have been made. Also the Team Spirit of 15+ People inside the Project became better, because they could consult me for solutions/problems.

But damn I hate our Consultants. We pay them and I need to sketch the concepts, they are to dumb for it. They dont understand Rest or APIs in general, I need to teach them alot about Best Practices and how to Code an API. Then they question everything and bring out a crooked flawed prototype back to me.

WE F* PAY THEM FOR BULLCRAP! THEY DONT EVEN WRITE DOCUMENTATION, THEY ARE SO LAZY!

I even had a Meeting with the main Consultant about Performance Problems and how we should approach it from a technical side and Process side. The Software is Core Business relevant and its running over 3 Years. He just argumented around the Problem and didnt provide solutions.

I confronted our General Manager a couple of times with this, but since 3 Years its going on and on.

Im happy with my Team and Boss, they have my back and I love my Job, but dealing with these Nutjobs of Consultants is draining my nerves/energy.

Im really am at my wits end how to deal with this anymore? Been pulling trough since 1 year. I wanna stay at my company because everything else besides the Nutjob Consultants is great.

I told my Boss about it a couple of times and she agrees with me, but the General Manager doesnt let go of these Consultants.

Even when they fuck up hard and crash production, they fucking Bill us... It's their fault :(

First time setting up a linux distro for myself I decided to do it on an external hard drive. Accidentally formatted the whole thing. Lost 200gb of anime.

I restored about 60% soon aftet meeting up with a friend of mine. But it was still devastating.

Note to self: Always do a dry run first when you have --delete-before using rsync.

Long story short I wanted to restore some folders from my external HDD to the home directory on my laptop XD I should have specified the exact folders 😹

Olpe:
@localhost I know I'm pretty late to the game but here is my ranting... I mean development setup. Sadly my laptop doesn't support having two external screens plus the laptop screen on.

When I was fresh out of school at my first job, we worked with an external consultant that refused to answer my emails directly since I was only a lite shit kid. Had to send all my emails thru my boss to get a reply.

!rant

For the first time, I solved a pretty serious optimisation problem in our codebase without any external input. It's a little thing, but small victories like this are part of what makes the job so much fun for me.

Currently rewarding myself with coffee and chocolate. I feel good!

React Native so far today:
1. need external dependency to load svg
2. react-native link doesn't work as it should
3. metro bundler not updating its cache

I wonder if the list will grow or that's it for today...

I have had to work on a project with a pc104 stack running yocto. I have had this since December last year and the image has always just randomly crashed 🤔. Yesterday I found out why!!
I am able to read the sensor of the cpu temp this has never been over 60/70 degrees C (yes I am English), however after running multiple tests and finally hitting my last wits I made the Kernel output over serial as no msg was shown on crash.
The company we have got the HW from always said this board won't over heat it throttles the cpu blag bla bla... And you guessed it in the mid of nothing but mess was a message "thermal_zone0 critical temp 127 degrees shutting down"
I didn't know if I was happy or about to cry as I didn't know if after working on this project for the last 6months I was back to the drawing boards as I need new HW or my gut at the start of not trusting the Company we are using!

Needless to say I have no idea what Monday will bring, I will keep you all posted as we all do care!

Much love

Jim

I actually can't really program but I did my first copy and paste program cause I wanted to annoy a friend by opening and closing his cd drive non stop... Well most people don't know what cd drives are these days anyways... Imagine it like your pc constantly unmounting the USB thumbdrive or external HDD.

Ok.... why doesn't this come in an ISO... or a more straightforward downloader.... WTF!

I just want core and maybe C++.... and it's for a future install.... I have 2015... not gonna upgrade til I have to upgrade Windows or get a new PC... Was just planning to save it on my external HDD...

Was in a rush this morning and left my coffee on the counter.

I have a meeting in an hour and a half with a snotty motherfucker of an external client.

For his sake, I need to get my fix (because an interruption to my morning routine makes me a bit less tolerant of bullshit.)

Well, I guess even googles listing of solutions on the fly from external websites doesnt always work perfectly..

I was trying out flutter because why the fuck not. I made a plan for an application the downloads an Osu!-beatmap file and extracts the infos relevant for an external music player (like background, the song file, title and so on)

So I designed a basic database scheme and decided to include the files into the database. 3 hours into development it hit me...

HOW THE FUCK IS THE EXTERNAL MUSIC PLAYER SUPPOSED TO GET THE AUDIO FILES WHEN THEY ARE IN MY DATABASE!

Guess I'll just have to replace the files with absolute paths instead. 😒

my ISP provides me an external IP address. what is the easiest way to hide that external IP and show only my local ip lets say 192.168.1.113 to the outside world?

Is there any plugin/script for chrome that allows to automatically take all device screenshots and name them accordingly? (4k, laptop L, mobile L, ..) I don't want to rely on using external services and wouldn't want to write some quick hack with a chrome wrapper.

So I have been tripoing about an idea and now is the time to start on it. I have 9 months to get money, to be able to fund myself to avoid external pressure that could scew the product.

Any ideas on raising 100,000$ in 9 months?

I'd like to make an open source data registry, with an easy to access API. For example, perhaps I'd like to list all cities and postal codes in France, or perhaps get the number of dogs in Canada. Any ideas how to structure the open source part? How can people contribute? Should it use external APs?

It's bloody annoying when the hardest part of your program is to integrate with an external API with confusing documentation.

sooo, new job. turns out they have an external dvd drive that I was forced to use! crazy spinning fun! Haven't seen those for a couple of years!

So Windows released a faulty update that broke the driver for my external harddrive. Now I don't have enough space for the update...

Argh, stupid Apple. Working from home but enough USB C cables yet to attach all my displays so stuck to only 1 external screen... Why change all the connectors all the time!

I hate naming variables.

DEVICE_INPUT

Is it input of external device or input of my device? Should I read from it or write to it? Help...

I nearly lost all pictures I had saved of my waifu because I was using an external HD at the time that I used on both Mac and Windows. I had a temp folder on my Mac that I saved into whenever I was traveling. It piled up, so I figured it was time to merge the folders by dragging the folder from my Mac to the external HD (they had the same folder name).

The only problem was.... Mac does not merge folders. It overwrote it. I cried, freaked out, asked every tech friend I could for help, and I nearly lost everything, but I made sure to not shut the drive off. A few hours later, I plugged it into Windows, and Recuva to the rescue!

So while it was a happy ending, that was a HUGE scare for me.

NOOOOO
I was in the middle of transferring a file to an external hard drive when it suddenly stopped.
I disconnected the hard drive and reconnected it, nothing.
IT'S DEAD.

The day that I was told that external contractors were used for all new project work, and employees were only used for support and operations... 😡

You gotta love it, when applications are distributed as AppImages and yet they require a fuckton of external libraries.

Manager to External : <badEnglish>We have problem with data feed, please fix</badEnglish>

External: Here's the situation <gives situation>
Me: Thank you! Here's the situation, but corrected <corrected situation>. Can we arrange a phone call on Friday or Monday?
External: Sure! whenever you like

Manager, this morning: where is the meeting for the phonecall?

Now I'm her fucking assistant. I had a glance a her calendar, it's full of full.

She'll soon ask me to cook for her and make her coffee too...

Shitty I don't have the qualifications for a proper developer job :((

I usually use external monitors. After I disconnect all monitors, why do some applications pretend it's monitor is still connected and appear outside the main screen?

Im trying to install windows 7 on my external hard drive and i must be doing something wrong as i cant login even safe mode strugles to work

A very tiny ant got inside one of my external monitor screen. How do I get it out? Also any suggestion to keep ants away from electronic stuff?

Day 2 of fetching data from external sources: someone entered an entry on 2006.41.12 (YYYY.MM.DD). People will do everything to fuck with API users

Why is it so damn hard to integrate an external api into Android in a non messy non tedious way... I mean yes I'm new to this but it's unnecessarily tough..

Networking Viva

External: how you specify the clients ip address to the server.

Me: Sir, we provide servers address to the client.

External: Where are clients IP addresses in server file

Me: Sir client goes to the server....

External: u know nthg...
😂😂😂

Tried really hard to get the external css file working and after an hour found that I had not specified href in the main html file.
fml

The moment when you short circuit a new 1TB disk because the the external disk case has on one side conductive bumpers (I think for ESD purpose) ... Who designs this shit? D:

Try linking external C++ library with Visual Studio Code, I dare you!

I feel so useless when code doesn't work do to an external library out of my control

(Protobuf support for python 3.7 sucks)

That feeling when the Jenkins build fails and fixing it is both out of your scope and permission.

Dear devops, you should know when a certificate expires that we use to authenticate with external web services.

I had fixed an issue that took me 2 hours to figure out, then committed the fix. Only to realise that I committed from an external folder (svn)
I messed up somewhere and my fix was gone.
Fuck me. Fuck externals, can't wait till we switch to git.

Fucking windows , everytime I come to use it for premiere pro and every fucking time it manages to disappoint me and waste my time . It makes me a biased hater of it.
No BG process is running neither anything is copied from the external drive . Fucking trash OS.

Managers: And now we'll just 'scale' our tech, it'll 'get done', development is just an external black box to us, let's do it iN pArALlEL and sYnErGizE splat blat barf splat splat somethingresemblingalanguage barf squelch splat barf

Devs: You are completely and totally idiotic bozos fooling around in the sandbox like a bunch of babies

Resently I was messing around with USB extender cables that I had lying around. And I made this.

And I got it to ba able to go pretty far but then I realized that I could spider man my external battery from outlet to outlet.

I am calling it spideemanning.

Why are there so many testing framworks for JavaScript? Jasmine, mocha, buster ... and for spies, stubs and mocks, there is sinon and for assertions, there is chai. And oh you can record entire external api calls with nock and whatever else I forgot. I am a bit overwhelmed by this overambundancy of libraries. Writing tests is supposed to be easy.

I needed to switch back to my laptop's keyboard (I usually have it hooked up to an external setup) but I'm instantly reminded why I don't like it...

The Up and (eph) button don't work.... can't get code or any decent typing done....

Got an empty 30gb SSD laying around. In my PC there is one 1TB HDD with Windows and one external 1TB HDD with Steam Games and stuff on it. Would you recommend installing some linux distro onto 30gb? Would prefer Mint or Manjaro.

Do you know that lady who waits in line at the grocery store for ages and when it's finally her turn she suddenly realizes that she might need her wallet somewhere from the bottom of her bag?

That's our current business analyst managing external dependencies like a boss... :D

Fuck Magento 2 and it's useless documentation. Fuck it for deprecating straightforward stuff for the reason of being to complicated with the warning that the functionality will be removed and then replacing it with a way more complex solution, while internally just using the deprecated stuff and laughing external developers in their face.
Fuck Magento, fuck Adobe.

Just had to say that....

Folks,
I've copied a folder(size: 10.7GB) to external HD, and it's occupying 154GB on external disk.

yes, the folder has a lot of small files in it. but ..

Surprisingly, the same folder occupy 10.8GB on internal HD. and that drive is not compressed.

I defragmented external HD, problem still unresolved.
* allocation unit size is default(4096B) on both the disks. both are NTFS

Plz, help me, explain me... :-(

That feel when you realise that your 3 years old laptop's microphone has problems making it hard for others to hear you clearly and that the external microphone you have is useless (probably a bad batch tho).
And most shops are closed due to the lockdown here and you can't afford getting a new one or going to a store to test microphones.

Ideal dev job would be to work on pretty/girly fashion or cosmetics websites, have drama free and knowledgeable co-workers, decent salary, great organization, external training opportunities, cute modern office, dogs, cats and a cafe on site, a dope recharge room & no talking to clients ever.

Hello everyone, once again I’m asking for your help, for the first time I’m working as a counterpart for an external development company, this project already has a few months of work but there are not any technical documentation or quality metrics.

Would you suggest to ask all the necessary stuff with times, quality and requirements or it’s already impossible to do that?

Any ideas for a python challenge that doesn't require external libraries

You mother fucking cocksuckers make your fucking external hard-drives so they fail if the mother fucking wire is moved. What the fuck !?! You fucking bastards !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

External evaluator in Final Year Project Presentation asks what does cout do in PHP?
smh

Kinda sad that the whole "seamless iframe" thing never happened. Sandboxed ads and external embeds, what a dream.

Why can't I wrap my head around laravel enough to build an authentication system I've built before 😖😡😠

External Login Service and my app would be an OAuth2 client receiving an id token...and no there isn't a third party integration for this login service

Slightly gutted that the external pentesters found a sql Injection that I didn't 😔

Why is it such a pain when I have to install all my external modules of Python for PyCharm? JetBrains products are cool, but this,... literally had to remember all the modules from scratch.

Today I tried running Plasma Wayland again after a few months...well...I tried

What did I experience?
- Mouse cursor size jumping from small to big randomly
- Can't remember fucking window positioning between multiple workspaces, so when I reboot, all windows are in the last workspace
- Random freezes with external monitor plugged in
- Firefox scrolling is absolutely terrible, 5 fps at most, but only when external monitor is connected
- Mouse acceleration can't be completely turned off? Or the setting just didn't work? IDK
- Sometime I get the infamous window trail effect known from older Windows versions, but on mouse cursor

A meeting with an external event organizer, who just so happened be a rather attractive woman. I've never had so many superfluous colleagues (all guys) show up and show off.
That meeting went long.

Taking over from/working with an external dev company on an existing project.

Listen Mr CEO, I'm not here to mess with your firm's code and undo all of your work. I'm just doing my job. Stop telling me that the only thing left to do is "data" without any context. The site that I'm here to work on isn't even finished.

I've found a bug in our api. Reading documentation for the external class we're using and see "please read these notes carefully". I think I've found where the problem is going to be...

Always fun when you leave 7-zip to run overnight then you check in the morning and it says not enough disk space. Now I need to spend most of the morning getting stuff to external drives. 7-zip why couldn't you give me that error last night so I didn't become angry when I looked.

First time making a bootable HDD partition and I've either deleted its boot sector or succeeded in making my external HDD bootable.

I wanna restart to test if it works but I'm actually really scared. Rip.

That moment when you find out, after lots of reading documentation and debugging, that the damn external library has a not yet reported bug -.-

It's 2022 and people still believe USB sticks and external card readers are a replacement for memory card slots.

They're not. SD cards have a standardized form factor and do not protrude from memory card slots, but external card readers and USB sticks do.

Just like smartphones, laptops are increasingly ditching the SD card slot or replacing it with microSD, which has less capacity, lower life expectancy and data retention span due to smaller memory transistors, worse handling, and no write-protection switch.

Not only should full-sized SD cards be brought back to laptops, but also brought to smartphones. There might soon be 2 TB SD cards, meaning not one second of worrying about running out of space for years. That would be wonderful.

Windows is so fucking stupid. Why do I HAVE to enable "Do nothing" when my lid is closed for it to be able to output to my external display while my lid is closed. Ubuntu can easily recognise that I want to use my external display and will keep my laptop running as long as it has an HDMI to a connected source.

It really fucking pisses me off I have to change my power options everyday. Seriously fuck windows. The only thing keeping me on Windows is Visual Studio, I hope they are able to port VS and the full .NET framework entirely on Linux so this shit OS can just be dead forever.

The mini heart attack when I touched my external hdd and didn't feel any vibrations as usual and then couldn't ssh into the pi it was connected to. I was ready for the worst, but a restart solved it