dude: hey could you hand me a patch cable ?

me: how long?

dude: as short as possible

me: sure buddy

😂😂

Dev: If you force this to be done in this timeframe it will fail in a month.
Manager: Do it anyway.

A month later:
@@FAILS@@

Manager: Why didn't you tell me this would happen??

FUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

Meet Ricky, my "rubber duck". Sometimes I explain my code to him. He never found a single error. 😂👍💻🐕

Probably not how it works

That late coffee was a mistake... (For the millionth time)

Now I have to sit in bed for 2 hours contemplating my life choices...
Spoiler: not good!

!Rant

Anyone else feel the need for 5 more seasons of IT Crowd?

I love it when companies expect you to care about their vision and act like the work is 100x more important than it is.

Oh yes and of course no overtime pay or decent salary that'd be too much!

😒😫🤯

while (person.isEmployedAsDev())
rant();

Say... Client centric... One... More... Time...

Why can't there be an employee centric company??

Do I have to adult today?

New Rick and Morty in 25 days mother fuckaaaaaaaa!!!!

😎😎😎😎😎

So... My company just shut down and we were all fired!

Any good place for a vacation? :D

Friday deployments:

"I'm one with the force and the force is with me"

Today was my first day at work after Easter break...

It's 22:00 and my head is buried in my pillow filled by random thoughts of violence, rm -rf / schemes and questions about where my life is going!

So... Anyone wanna open a coffee shop?
Or something involving waffles...
Mmmmmmmm waffles

So.... We spend most our lives learning languages and methodologies and best practices and all that crap while depriving ourselves of sleep because the rules said if we did that we'd make something cool and have fun doing it...

But then *any company here* comes along and says make this shitty feature in *arbitrary time here* for our stupid *product here*.
You do it working overtime and sacrificing quality to have the client say afterwards that he wants something different (from his own specs).

And then the circle repeats...

I should consider a different profession...
Hey plants don't speak... Maybe I'll be a gardener!
Clip here clip there - done. I'll be a happy fucking script

Boss asked me to work the weekend today...

Told him I have to buy some shoes and do work around the house so I can't.

In reality I'll be doing a personal project and prettying up my CV ofcourse!

🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕

P.S. this is for a project he has had me rewrite 3 times so far.

Fuck it.
Getting high on caffeine tonight and catching up on personal projects.

Guys....
He's almost here.....
I can't believe it!

PICKLE RIIIICKKK MOTHER FUCKER!!!!

"All it needs to do is keep my fucking beer cold"

So many companies could learn from Gilfoyle!!

No clients.
No managers.
No bosses (other than in-game!).
No deadlines.

I have decided. I don't wanna adult anymore. LET ME OUT!!!

#sign_out
#rage_quit

Won a new job; 50% payrise which, for a junior, is a pretty big deal.

A bigger team, with more established practices, a commitment to testing and code coverage, code reviews, and a smaller learning surface area as I go forward (focusing entirely on the js ecosystem, 80% frontend).

So this is all good.

But I *have* to go back to Windows. Windows *7*. Their infosec practices move at a glacial pace. After two glorious years on mac/linux I feel like being sick.

I hate my job I hate my job I hate my job I hate my job I hate my job I hate my job I hate my job I hate my job I hate my job I hate my job I hate my job I hate my job I hate my job I hate my job I hate my job I hate my job I hate my job I hate my job I hate my job I hate my job I hate my job I hate my job I hate my job I hate my job

The weekend is here!!!
Time to go out and have fun!!!

Nah just joking. Time to write some quality code after cleaning our company's backend (pun definitely intended) all week!

One day I will come across a bug that makes sense.

Today is not that fucking day.

finally received my swag / stress ball

arrived all the way to India

thank-you very much @dfox

Time for the self assessment for the year...

"Where do you see yourself in 3-5 years?"

Oh idk.... Maybe owner of a small coffee shop with no stress whatsoever...

Or I might fuck off to my own little mountain like Luke that'll be nice...

1. Make a plan
2. Execute the plan
3. Expect the plan to go horribly wrong
4. Improvise

Truest words to come out of the DC (or any) universe!!!

!rant

Merry Christmas to you all!!!

I love you guys/girls :)

May we all solve a few of our problems in 2018 (whatever they may be).

Hmm..... Do I have time before work tomorrow to watch all 3 matrix movies?

Screw it who cares. Marathon time!!!

Easter.
Greek style ;)

read a job requirement post says need programmer min exp about 4-5 years
language :- SWIFT,php
😂😂

Pffff...... Wanna make an app tomorrow...
Got no clue what to make....

Maybe something with big AI learning data machine. Yeah I think that hits all the right buzzwords :P

Any ideas you're willing to share?

So....
I was asked to transfer a spaghetti Android/iOS project to xamarin for a bank client yesterday because "that's what they use".

This is a crm/loyalty app that has been around for 2+ years now (you can imagine the mess). On top of that I have no knowledge of c#, .net or xamarin.

So I ask: "When is this supposed to be delivered?"

Boss: "It was scheduled for 2 weeks ago but let's say 2 weeks from now"

Me: "..... This is a huge remake it won't be even close to ready in 2 weeks"

Boss: "Let's check on the progress in 2 weeks and see how it goes"

Why is it hard for bosses to provide an actual timeframe???

He's been pulling the same crap with junior devs for years and of course they get nervous and create more spaghetti code...

Anyway long story short (not) I have an interview Monday!

Let's hope it's not more of the same!

P.S.: to junior devs: When you are given a deadline... IGNORE IT.

!Rant

Fun fact:

The SENIOR backend developer at the company I used to (as of today) work has a degree in economics and business and his only experience has been a trainee position.

No more startups please.... Seriously.... Just.... Don't... No... 😰😰😰😵😵

one step to SEO

So....
I was just told why the company's code has no documentation...

Quote: "It enforces devs to write simpler/better code"

Oh and added bonus - the whole backend is PHP with a bunch of tweaked libraries.

Jetbrains Rider is a VASTLY SUPERIOR ALTERNATIVE TO “VISUAL STUDIO 2019”

Wake up Microsoft, ffs WAKE UP. I cant BELIEVE YOU ARE MAKING MY LIFE WORSE NOW

I can get better syntax highlighting and save features on a fucking gameboy

I don’t just want to learn how to scrap together applications.

I want to become an engineer; one that can wear that badge properly.

I spent a day or two reading my peers code base in .NET Core to start learning its wizarding ways. I found myself emulating some of the patterns.

Then I found a tutorial series on putting together a correctly decoupled RESTful API...the same chap wrote an SDK for Azure CosmoDB.

THIS is what I am talking about.

I can’t believe these guys at work have twenty years C# experience between them and they are churning out this shit for more than 1.5x my salary.

I want to become this but I swear half the coding world does NOT care.

I'm seeing a lot of these rants today and I just felt jealous so...

FUCK YOU MICROSOFT!!
You can pivot to something more your pace like whittling or something...

time to leave this planet😂😂

suggest some free/ paid dev stickers to go on my lappy there is still a lot of space 😂😝

You know that coding - a primarily digital activity, is getting serious when you get out your pencil and paper IDE.

android studio 2.2 released in Google I/O 2016 keynote a lots of features like multi layout window and drag and drop layout design and 3x speed in AVD

has it ever happens to you that for whole day you kill yourself to solve error and next day you find out it was just happening because of a single semicolon

it hurts...

Having one of those moments when I question why I am a dev and why the world is such a shithole.

Fucking ears ringing and stomach doing summersaults from stress.

I hope SpaceX discovers alien life so I can go with them!

Confessions of a javascripter: C# is beautiful.

That is all.

So I have a date tomorrow. First meeting in person. I’ve got a little time to kill before hand, and need to learn Dart anyway....so I thought it would be fun to code her up something interactive. Kinda like that game Mr and Mrs. Only in the terminal, and for nerds.

Features, ladies and gentleman?

Damn you xcode...

just started IOT project on raspberry pi let's see how it goes waiting for the output

Just upgraded to Mojave and Android studio 3.2.

I am now leaving it all broken and going to sleep.

I had mentioned before I got offered a new role, with 50% increase.

I wasn’t expecting my current employer to counter, but they suddenly shat themselves and basically matched the salary, and offered promotion to software developer (sans junior). They acknowledge my role within the company is only increasing in responsibility and so far I have exceeded expectations. Its a nice response to have from them, although I do wonder how long it might have taken without the panic.

The new company have counter-countered, promising to raise salary by a further 20% of total, within the first 6 months, provided I learn React reasonably quickly (about a month), integrate with the team and start to take on my roles within the Agile set relatively independently (3-6 months). They also don’t bother with the junior role title at these pay bandings.

I currently get about half an hour a week with my lead dev on sticking issues. In this new team, I would be one of ten javascripters, working towards best practices, TDD etc. This is absolutely the realm I want to specialise in, at the first stage of my career.

I said I would stay with my current employer, before the counter counter move. Now I am full of doubt.

Has anyone landed in teams like this, only to find they didn’t offer increased learning at all? If that was a high risk for me, I wouldnt take it, despite the offer of more cash. I’d sooner get more skilled in the stuff I have been working in at my current role.

Pretty amazing how much amazing life experiences can cause anxiety. Never been in the middle of a bidding war before...

Monday....

NullPointerException: 'rant was null'

Yay Google + leaked info!!
New old news again :P

Come on people if you want something to be safe you DO NOT I repeat DO NOT send it to someone else's computer. That's it. Fuck firewalls fuck av fuck it all.

Hey here's a fun question!

If you plug an OTG enabled phone into a USB c MacBook who charges who?

😎😎🙃🙃😎😎

Just spent 2 hours debugging a volley call that wouldn't work because a header got refactored by mistake.....

😫😫😫

Frack legacy code.

Hey guys!
1st rant here after staring for hours at my company's backend....
Is there ANY advantage in scala?? Ever??

Right...

So some asshole just tried to charge me 200 euro paid to Plugin Media Group A.G.

Couldn't get pass 3ds but still...

If you have made an order with OnePlus cancel your card. Today

Without requirements or design, programming is the art of adding bugs to an empty text file ;)......!

Ok, so I need some clarity from you good folk, please.

My lead developer is also my main mentor, as I am still very much a junior. He carved out most of his career in PHP, but due to his curious/hands-on personality, he has become proficient with Golang, Docker, Javascript, HTML/CSS.

We have had a number of chats about what I am best focusing on, both personally and related to work, and he makes quite a compelling case for the "learn as many things as possible; this is what makes you truly valuable" school of thought. Trouble is, this is in direct contrast to what I was taught by my previously esteemed mentor, Gordon Zhu from watchandcode.com. "Watch and Code is about the core skills that all great developers possess. These skills are incredibly important but sound boring and forgettable. They’re things like reading code, consistency and style, debugging, refactoring, and test-driven development. If I could distill Watch and Code to one skill, it would be the ability to take any codebase and rip it apart. And the most important component of that ability is being able to read code."

As you can see, Gordon always emphasised language neutrality, mastering the fundamentals, and going deep rather than wide. He has a ruthlessly high barrier of entry for learning new skills, which is basically "learn something when you have no other option but to learn it".

His approach served me well for my deep dive into Javascript, my first language. It is still the one I know the best and enjoy using the most, despite having written programs in PHP, Ruby, Golang and C# since then. I have picked up quite a lot about different build pipelines, development environments and general web development as a result of exposure to these other things, so it isn't a waste of time.

But I am starting to go a bit mad. I focus almost exclusively on quite data intensive UI development with Vue.js in my day job, although there is an expectation I will help with porting an app to .NET Core 3 in a few months. .NET is rather huge from what I have seen so far, and I am seriously craving a sense of focus. My intuition says I am happiest on the front end, and that focusing on becoming a skilled Javascript engineer is where I will get the biggest returns in mastery, pay and also LIFE BALANCE/WELLBEING...

Any thoughts, people? I would be interested to hear peoples experiences regarding depth vs breadth when it comes to the real world.

thnx @dfox received stickers today morning thnx for the stickers

lol
are you read to get GC

There is no place like 127.0.0.1

true or false

Happy New year fellow devs!!!!

May it suck less than the previous one!!
And may we all get what we want :)

Thinking of migrating to Stockholm...
Life in Greece is pretty intolerable and only getting worse...

Any tips? Pointers? General wisdom?
Is it relatively easy to get a job there (competition-wise)?

Job hunting is so fucking stressful...
Everyone wants something different and the one company I actually might fit in does not have a position right now - great!

Oh and...why....the fuck... Does a company with a 10k downloads app need an aptitude test? :)

How many of you folks here consider yourself specialist in a certain area? Was this deliberate, and has it paid off? My lead dev is always trying to bestow upon me the advantages of being a generalist in this industry, and yet the employers I have spoken to, on the whole, seem to get most excited by “experts”. If it fits the expert they, want, of course...

fryer app written in Python on raspberry pi and arudino through touch LCD prototype can controller and tell temperature

This isn't really a rant yet but... I am... 1000% sure it will be soon!

Has anyone played around with hackintosh on an Alienware 17 r3 (6700hq, 970m, fhd) or 15 r2?

Any info you can provide is welcome.

I bought this beauty a few months back and I don't want to pay for a Mac at this point(never mind their horsepower that's a different rant!) so I have a new cheap nvme SSD coming in tomorrow to throw a hackintosh on it

Was the world always this shitty?
Was I too young to notice?

I mean... You can't even post anything on a forum without everyone going apeshit!!!

*clears voice*
FUCK EMMC AND 32BIT UEFI WITH A BIG RUSTY POLE.

Wow that helped actually...
Now then... If anyone has any suggestions on how to actually boot Ubuntu after installation on Asus x205ta I will give them my first born son.
😈😈

one thought of giving options of saving images posted by other ranters would help ;)

!Rant
So I was reassigned from Android to backend a month ago...

Meaning a poor lonely Nexus 5 was just sitting collecting dust...

Saturday night and what do I do?
Go out like a normal person?
*Laughs way too loud*
Nahhhh let's do a pwnie install and start snooping on neighbors!!!

Anyone a wine user?

I want to completely shake off Windows so I'm thinking of trying it again...

Has anyone tried it with a 970m + Wayland?

yes i think i should use linux ;)

why?.....

does anyone else received the onion dev stickers confirmation mail cause i received just now about conforming address and stickers

Colleague's thought process:

Hmm I have observables but I don't understand shit.
Hey I like listeners let's add listeners to all observables.

Should I make the method return an observable and subscribe my listener to it?

Nah I'll erase everything and pass an anonymous class listener to the method so no one can chain a few calls together.

Fuck you and I hope you're reading this!!!

Time to rerewrite 2k lines of fucking code....

So.....
Cassandra vm had a crash yesterday...
2 nodes with rep factor 1. (FML)

One node wouldnt start... Eventually found out one of the commit replays had an exception (the one at the time of the crash).

Boss trying to push me towards a fix all this time which was:
"Let's delete the vm and have Cassandra running on one vm"

There are not we enough curses in the world.
🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕

P.S. there are no backups.

Lead dev asks me to take on the restful api aspect to a new internal tool UI I have been building. Happy for the challenge, I spend the 4 days (half of that in my own time), writing out 1k lines of C# that I endeavoured to keep clean, thoroughly decoupled and something I can be proud of.

I give regular updates.

This morning he responds to my last update “we already have most of that code in place”.

This stuff happens a lot. Back of a fagpacket planning and then cries all around when it INVARIABLY goes wrong.

Does this kind of bullshit happen in a properly organised, Agile team? We are about to take on a huge project and frankly I want to save myself the ballache and go find a well oiled team if what I am witnessing isnt just how things are in software land, but as I rather suspect a product of lack of communication and organisation.

I think one of the hardest experiences as a junior is the oscillation from perceived competency to perceived incompetency.

I just spent the last 4 weeks putting together my first major UI set of components for a financial calculator. Uses Vue, Quasar, a lot of data transformation and reactive UI programming. I felt quite chuffed. Its pending merge.

Then my lead asked me to help him debug something on the flagship and legacy project; for educational purposes, not that he actually needs my help. The application is 100x the size of the one I have been working on, and monolithic. Orders of magnitude more complex.

The jump from a sense of “I might be able to do this” to “I could never do that” was almost soul destroying. Like looking back over the last ten meters you ran, realising that running is hard and you did it. Only to look ahead and realise there are easily 100 miles ahead of you.

How the fuck do you cope with that.

For those with hiring experience, or just informed opinions.

Candidate A:
1.5 years self-taught web development, primarily Javascript, but also Ruby & Golang
6 months commercial front end experience
Brucey Bonus: a significant fullstack personal project (deployed), plus lots of smaller projects. Has focused a lot on learning OOP and functional paradigm principles.

Candidate B:
As candidate A, but instead of a personal project, has made a couple dozen PRs on a big open source project (ie Mozilla’s debugger). They seem to have eschewed really dialling down into algorithms/paradigms, preferring to learn “in the wild”.

They both perform equally well in interview tests, and appear to be engaging, hardworking and approachable.

Which one do you pick, and why?

!rant

Can I please just randomly find a million euros somewhere so I can just fuck off everything?!

🤑🤑🤑

Frontend developer mainly, getting all excited by C#, net core, apis, http, databases. A new world of trinkets and hard-edged engineering. Makes me eyes glitter.

But my day job needs me to become as proficient as possible on the frontend of the stack. As we warm up to a huge application rewrite, with me as the sole frontender, it becomes clearer and clearer that, if I am not only to survive, but leave a codebase behind me that is clean, thoughtful, well modularised and built with maintenance and performance in mind, that I must let go. I have to focus.

I feel a little sad today. Somehow, right now, the frontend world does not feel as exciting. Javascript feels loose, unpredictable...my work open as well to everyone with every flavour of opinion. Because it is observable.

But I am mortal. Time is precious, and limited. I feel I need a dose of curiosity discipline and that, if I can do so, I can devote myself not to my coming and going whims of interest, but the real hard work of learning craftsmanship once that feeling of glitter has faded.

My brothers and sisters, steady my hand.

true ;)....!

Now that I know I can plug vim emulators into most of the IDEs, the idea of mastering the keyboard flow seems a lot more viable.

Team building exercises... Curious to hear your opinions....

They annoy the hell out of me personally and I can't see the value in them...

Have bonded way more with previous teams by simply working on a project together. No BS exercises, or even scrum for that matter, we just respected each other and that seemed to effortlessly let us make each other better at our work.

Developers always need
1. A laptop
2. Ethernet cable
3.empty room

;)......

The days are long right now. The company portal, that I built, is being rebuilt now that we have decided it needs to be responsively designed.

I always knew there would come times in my career, if I leant towards the front end, that periods of time would be taken up with HTML/CSS.

I just didn’t appreciate how soul sucking it can be when you are adjusting margins for 8hrs a day for a few weeks. And how much that is compounded by people changing their minds on things that cascade throughout an increasingly complex system of media queries...how you can spend ages tweaking something only to find it breaks on an another screen size...

The love I found in coding...it is not here...

1. Makes account on CodeWars to see what the fuss is about, have a bit of fun on a quiet weekend etc.
2. Does a few 7kyu challenges, feels neat.
3. 4hrs later is 10 commits into a 1kyu level challenge called PuzzleFighter.

WHY DO I DO THIS

Can anyone explain why the world sucks so bad?

I mean it was much better ~1990 am I wrong?

Seems to get worse every year...
Or maybe the cynic in me grew stronger idk...

!Rant

So... In the mood for a new lang...

Mainly Java developer but have done Scala, Python lately and a bunch in the past (C, PHP, little js, HTML5).

Thinking of .Net or node js ATM...

I'd welcome any ideas :)

Lead dev: “There’s something you have to remember: text-center aligns more than just text”

Me:

why java developer have spacks because the can't C '#' ;).......!

Our lead dev has convinced the board to move the new software suite forward into .Net Core 3. Much of his reasoning is sound, a mainstay of which is the cost and ease of hiring developers to actually make and maintain it.

My own roadmap with the company focuses around one of these products, so I am to become the core developer and maintainer. Given thats the case, given that my primary skill is with Javascript/Node and given that we have deadlines, I am going to make the case today that this product might be better built in Node.

We are going for a microservices architecture. Combined with Typescript for type safety as the code base gets bigger, I am not sure I can think of many real advantages to choosing .NET instead. It will benefit from its async I/O later too, as the plan is to build in API driven dynamic UI down the road.

He is a fierce man, and I am the junior. Wish me luck.

how many are waiting for #Google I/O on 18th may

Does anyone know a desktop widget app for Linux?

Used to have screenlets but I haven't seen it for a while...

If only I could have rainmeter...

There are two ways to write error-free programs; only the third one works.

#lol

How many Java programmers does it take to change a light bulb? ;).....

press +1 if you agree

for getting tired of BSOD

Which do you consider the best country to live/work in?

Subjective I know but I'm thinking of relocating somewhere and could use some help with the "where"!

Version 1 of any software is full of bugs. Version 2 fixes all the bugs and is great. Version 3 adds all the things users ask for, but hides all the great stuff in Version 2.
;)

Anyone have something to share about working in Amsterdam?

Thinking of migrating there - I'm an Android developer.

Any company names you can throw at me are also appreciated!! :)

To those who have worked in mad RAD solo environments, with next to no testing...

...and those who have worked full Agile, with high code coverage, code review amongst hoards of T-shaped developers...

...how much difference does it make to wellbeing and upskilling in the two?

Bonus points if you have done both and can compare in an n=1 way.

Well... mmc.exe got blocked today after an update...

Microsoft management console that is... And a bunch of other stuff with it... Like device manager....

Eventually resorted to gpedit and even so I still can't print (🙃🙃).

Getting a fucking Mac with the idiotic touchbar and the ridiculously low ram tomorrow (for real).

Love having an Alienware with a 6700hq and a 950 pro that I can't take advantage of because of the OS fucking up all the time...

P.S. Yes I also have Linux on it but you can't really enjoy the.... 👽 side of things with it!

Any Mozilla Firefox Debugger open-sorcerers active in the devRant community?

Help! Google is looking for me!!!

Can anyone suggest which songs they listen while developing your boiler plate code.....

which is best for coding sublime / atom / n++

Planning on relocating to Edinburgh, Scotland (from Greece)...
Currently researching.... everything!!
If anyone has moved there I'd appreciate any tips :)

I never finished it, but before I was working in the industry, I was coding through a book called Build Your Own AngularJS. My intent was to have piecemeal instruction/example in TDD and code way above the level of complexity I was used to. You essentially build the core of AngularJS in about 900 unit tests with total coverage. 1000pages long, its no walk in the park.

I gave it up when my time was short, and focused on higher level concepts: building apps, learning tools of the trade.

Now that I am getting plenty of exposure to that level, I am thinking my free learning hours may be better spent going down into the complex worlds shown in this book. A couple of things I found there really stayed with me and shaped how I think about problems. It was also very illuminating to see how complex algorithms work “in the wild”. I cant stand learning algorithms in isolation, generally speaking.

Has anyone seen this book? I know the framework itself is older now, but I don’t think that is much relevant for this learning use case.

I only know of one student who completed this. Took him a few months. He is an absolute machine.

Become a veritable master of front end development, and then take to digital nomadism, and wait to see which of these kill me first: the Bali heat, the opium or the tutuks

some help in butternkife and retrofit for Android apps

using butternkife for data binding in Android

Got this book soon starting to read it any comments on books are welcome 🤓😉

So all the new frontend work needs to be completed with a proprietary toolset called Telerik. Before I was contented to submit to all the frontend tasks as it won me more Vue experience, but now that won’t be the case.

Will it be harder to sell my skillset to another company? Companies only get Telerik if they pay the cash.

Has anyone here built a functioning blockchain from scratch? I’ve been poking around looking for resources, preferably eBooks, but hoping to find some that have been road tested. Language/technology neutral; more interested in the quality of the guide and result.