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Devs who argue that their favourite language is the best and other are not good enough for anything. Different tools for different jobs dammit!4
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Me: So why did you drop the db?
Intern: I couldn't rename the Model I've just created.
Me: Your CV says you're a prolific Rails Dev.
Me: How many days you have left working here?
Intern: 3Months
Me: Just take 3 months off work.13 -
pushed an error ajax to production: alert( data + "form not submitted you cunt"); I forgot to remove it. 😂😂4
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new !Rant();
Found this on Reddit and can relate to code. Show me what you have done and I'll see what I can do for you.
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This had me laughing out loud this morning, my wife just looked at me funny as I tried to explain it to her.
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git reflog, git reflog...git FUCKING reflog!!!! Ah fuck this, I'm taking the kids out. 3hrs later.... Oh shit, i was in the wrong directory. A good fresh air clears the mind.2
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How. The. Fuck...do these people has a job:
Me: How much to repair my Nexus 6 screen? It's not full smashed.
Tech guy: We'll need to see the phone
Me: Why? I need the screen replaced
Tech guy: Ok...send us a screen shot. it could be a cheap fix
Fucking me side ways! Really?1 -
I can repair an electronic item, write code and debug. Has a degree in CS so why do I have to ask the wife "baby, how do you operate the washing machine?"5
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Anyone that tries to solve my Stackover flow question, gets down voted 😂 What's worst, I got down voted after 20mins. Worst, it can't be solved! Fuck! Guess no sleeps tonight19
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It's not just the fucking money, it's my fucking time. U wanted Polymer but now React?!! Fuck me sideways!4
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This was last year. "Guys, guys, we need to convert everything to ES6." Our mainly users were elderly people with old devices. So we did. Many resigned shortly.6
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Side project is swift. Loads of feedback! I'm happy. Fucked up part is the users who wants it uses Android. Oh well, time to learn React Native2
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Closed MBP and left. Returned to office. Head to a very quiet Starbucks. Open MBP lip. Greeted with a woman's moan. F-ING COWORKERS!
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Woke up 4am today to push my first iOS app. Took me three phucking hrs to realise apple is down! Their FUCKING dev stats website says all is green! Fuck u xcode1
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When I got X up and running at 1am for the first time on my first computer, 486 SX 25MHz with 8 MB or ram.
The program SuperProbe is probably depicted now, but it got me up and running back then. -
Just got upset with a coworker due to not understanding the code written, logic, lack of documentation, comments. Nothing!
Other coworker: But Dave, you added that feature last December. Remember?
Me: So what are we working on today? -
Hello World! Told my son to press "ok" for all questions. So now, I have to look for backups of projects. Not sure id git push
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I was copying data from a failing zfs drive with rsync and I noticed that it spent a long time on the file ~/.local/share/Baloo/index
du -h index showed a 500ish MB file which didn't seem large enough to take this long.
I recalled that du shows disk usage, not file size and since I was using zfs compression they could be quite different.
so I added -A for apparent size:
du -hA index and it comes back with 1.7E
The file was 1.7 exabytes...6 -
!rant
I was given a 42in 4K TV; I already have one. Should I use it as a monitor or sell it? I really need a monitor for my MBP. Would it be toooo huge for a monitor?
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So I'm required to take an intro Java course at my university, and can't test out...
My professor actually just described constructors as classes, not analogous to, or metaphorically. He said they were classes. All of the students are now confused out of their minds. Should I say something?7 -
Working with jquery:
When I was there, all was perfect.
Came from vaykay, nothing works!! In my comments it said, DONT NOT CHANGE ANY `${anyNastyWord}` CLASS NAME!!!1 -
Sometimes I feel like giving my client a Craigslist-frontend website. Saves me shit load of time to pretty up.
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website: fill in all fields
user: john doe
kill blood, texas, 751454, usa
me: when the website says street name, we meant the name of your faking street! -
Format must be png so we have a transparent background and image must be animated.
Me: Do you need to pause on mouseOver?
Dumb fuck.3 -
Months ago, created sophisticated func. Left URL as a comment for ref. Need to add more lines to that func so I clicked the link to remind me how/why but website page is no longer!
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I'm logged into my box at home via ssh and coding in vim.... On the bus, using my phone.
I need more spare time, I get to sit down in front of my computer for maybe 1-2 hours a week.1 -
PO: Sure, use any tool to get the job done. You recon within 2 weeks to have a working demo?
Me: You bet ya
****1.9 weeks later****
PM: PO says to use another tool for this project.
Me: 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬4 -
I begin to develop the irresistible urge to break open everything I see and reassemble them, be it software or hardware.1
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When you 3D touch too hard wondering why it's not working. Now iPhone screen is cracked. Oh my bundle id was a typo? Fuck me!
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So a couple of months ago I had some stability issues which seems to have caused Baloo go crazy and create an 1.7 exabyte index file. It was apparently mainly empty as zfs compressed it down to 535MB
Today I spent some time trying to reproduce the "issue" and turns out that wasn't that hard.
So this little program running on FreeBSD with a compressed (lz4) zfs dataset creates an 1.9 Exabyte large file, nicely compressed down to 45KB :)
#include <stdio.h>
#include <fcntl.h>
#include <unistd.h>
#include <sys/limits.h>
int main(int argc, char** argv) {
int fd = open("bigfile.lge", O_RDWR|O_CREAT, 0644);
for (int i = 0 ; i < 1000000000; i++) {
lseek(fd, INT_MAX, SEEK_CUR);
}
write(fd, " ",1);
close(fd);
}3 -
When react says "Module Not Found" then you realise that you have to add a period infront of the forward slash 😒
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Today is bank holiday in the UK. Fucking boss slacked me to say he needs graphql n mongodb wired up by tomorrow. I almost tell him to fuck off, today is not work, bitch1
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6hrs trying to get a static and dynamic cell working in Swift. Xcode crashes and not a fucking thing was saved! My git commits make no fucking sense!4
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Is it just me or is python community's dependency management a bit unreliable?
I just can't seem to easily install any python programs without missing dependencies. Updates have caused libraries to become incompatible, which in turn causes the application that used to work to just produce a stack trace.
Is this the state of python or am I doing something wrong.3 -
Reading the source of a message queue system I'm planning on extending.
I don't see myself as a rockstar programmer or anything but the construction of arrays from hash tables, sorting those arrays and then a nested for loop to find matches really irks me. Luckily not on the critical message processing path but the stats collection thread. There are mutexes in play though that would probably delay processing a little bit when stats are collected. -
Has OSS Projects build systems become more complicated lately?
I took a stab at building concourse ci on FreeBSD. It being written in go, I expected it to be rather straight forward but no.
To "compile" the web UI assets, yarn (an alternative nodejs package manager apparently) was required. (Are js and CSS really compile targets now?)
Installed yarn and ran yarn build, it complained about lessc not being installed, so ran yarn install lessc which then told me that I was running an unsupported operating system.
I can compile the actual consourse binary just fine, but without yarn doing it's thing the assets required for the web UI does not get compiled in and therefore doesn't work properly.
Maybe I compile the web UI assets in Linux, and cross compile my FreeBSD binary...5 -
Employees of companies that are so protective of their intellectual property that they don't allow any to be transfered outside of the workplace, how do you work from home?4
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I've gone from a "no early returns" guy to a "return as early as possible to maintain the happy path indented as much to the left as possible" guy.
Looks so much neater now. -
Asdfghjkl keys does not work! Not git push, no save! Oh fuck my screen was locked so no on-screen keyboard! Mother fuck! Is this a quick solve for MBP? New keyboard cost £14.99 on eBay.2
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For testing, I added an override environment variable in some C# code so I can set it in the projects debug properties when I run it.
Turns out that while it's possible to do this in C++ projects, MS decided that they don't want you to do that for C# projects as there are other ways that they want to do it.
So it's not possible to modify your environment for C# projects within visual studio.
*Bangs head against the wall and surrenders to the Microsoft way of doing things*1 -
Silicon Valley. Imaging you burst ur balls to build your company. Burst ur mother fucking balls, and clits, to be big, best algo rhythm etc then the fucking board tells u ur fired???? Believe me, my company will have no mother fucking board members. Fuck. That!2
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Linux noob... just accidentally made myself (not root) owner on all files. seemed fine for a while, but I couldn't sudo or even ssh. had to rollback my server nearly a month to fix it 😭
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Been building a Shopify app for 2 months now. Every time I look at the code, Im adding more feature. Fuck. At this rate I'll never have people telling me how shit of an app this is to make it better.
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The sound of kids arguing when you told your client you need one more day to finish up. Tomorrow you'll repeat your self.
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@dfox I actually thought I could force touch, on my iPhone 6S/7 to upvote. No? Feature coming soon? Great! Can't wait! 🤓1
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Has anyone forked (not fucked) a github project/gem just because the owner no longer gives a fuck to make those PR's?2
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