I play a game to decide if I'm going to do work today.

I roll one dice. If it lands, I do work.

One day, someone at Google decided that what their search engine was really missing was a dice rolling tool, complete with text that says 'Rolling...'

Stocks are up 600% since then.

int getRandomNumber() {

return 6;

// Guaranteed to be random. I used a dice.
}

Do I look like a guinea pig to you, dice tester?

getRandomNumber... :)

Seems legit

OH FOR HEAVENS SAKE!!!

*I* take care of my food in the department fridge, *NOT* you!

And start to fucking realize:
IT IS CALLED: "Best Before End"
and ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NOT: "Guaranteed To Be Deadly From"

Next time you throw away my perfectly fine food, I'll dig into the reflog, throw a dice and throw away 3 random commits of yours claiming that THEY EXPIRED!
YOU ARSE!

Holy shit balls it works (so far)

-
So I’ve been working on a project... well feature for the past year (yes 12 whole fucking months - anti agile I know)
And today I got to merge that bitch of a pull request into the current working branch and deploy it to UAT - no conflicts 😵I think I need to put the lottery on tonight!
And some how, by some stupid lucky roll of the dice it just works.

I have never felt so afraid and delighted in my life!

Programming Languages are Like Cars:

Assembler: A formula I race car. Very fast but difficult to drive and maintain.

FORTRAN II: A Model T Ford. Once it was the king of the road.

FORTRAN IV: A Model A Ford.

FORTRAN 77: a six-cylinder Ford Fairlane with standard transmission and no seat belts.

COBOL: A delivery van. It's bulky and ugly but it does the work.

BASIC: A second-hand Rambler with a rebuilt engine and patched upholstery. Your dad bought it for you to learn to drive. You'll ditch it as soon as you can afford a new one.

PL/I: A Cadillac convertible with automatic transmission, a two-tone paint job, white-wall tires, chrome exhaust pipes, and fuzzy dice hanging in the windshield.

C++: A black Firebird, the all macho car. Comes with optional seatbelt (lint) and optional fuzz buster (escape to assembler).

ALGOL 60: An Austin Mini. Boy that's a small car.

ALGOL 68: An Aston Martin. An impressive car but not just anyone can drive it.

Pascal: A Volkswagon Beetle. It's small but sturdy. Was once popular with intellectual types.

liSP: An electric car. It's simple but slow. Seat belts are not available.

PROLOG/LUCID: Prototype concept cars.

FORTH: A go-cart.

LOGO: A kiddie's replica of a Rolls Royce. Comes with a real engine and a working horn.

APL: A double-decker bus. It takes rows and columns of passengers to the same place all at the same time but it drives only in reverse and is instrumented in Greek.
Ada: An army-green Mercedes-Benz staff car. Power steering, power brakes, and automatic transmission are standard. No other colors or options are available. If it's good enough for generals, it's good enough for you.

Java: All-terrain very slow vehicle.

Attempting to access my colleague's NFS directory on his VM, don't know the VM's IP address, hostname or password:

- 2 minutes with nmap to narrow the possible IPs down to ~30

- Ping each and look for the one with a Dell MAC prefix as the rest of us have been upgraded to Lenovo. Find 2 of these, one for the host and one for the virtual machine.

- Try to SSH to each, the one accepting a connection is the Linux VM

- Attempt login as root with the default password, no dice. Decide it's a lost cause.

- Go to get a cup of tea, walk past his desk.

- PostIt note with his root password 😶

FYI this was all allowed by my manager as he had unpushed critical changes that we needed for the release that day.

Everyone seems to have a stress ball, I have a stress dice that says "Yes", "No", "Take a break", "Tomorrow" and "Maybe". It's good for whenever I don't know I should just quit or throw the PC through the window 😅

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )

Fun fucking story time so buckle your dick holsters.

My Windows partition died the other day. Like totally fucking died. Not recoverable at all. So I decided "Oh it's okay, I'll just boot up a windows USB and reinstall it."

I remembered I had ordered an m.2 ssd so I waited for that to arrive for the sick speed boost. All went well, it arrived and I realised my peasant MoBo doesn't support NVME at all. "No problem, pcie adapter bruh".

Inserted and started again. "Ruh roh raggy!" Fucking BIOS cant find the NVME. "Never mind I have a spare SSD. I'll use that and move shit around later." STILL NO FUCKING DICE. THE FUCKING BOOT USB WORKS BUT WHEN THE INSTALLER TRIES TO RESTART WINDOWS TO FINISH THE INSTALL IT FUCKING LOADS THE USB AGAIN AND WITHOUT THE USB IT FAILS.

The fuck do I do here? I've been sat all fucking day trying to sort this shit to no avail so now I have a very fucking expensive door stop while I try to solve the ever fucking great riddle of "I need the usb but the usb fucks the install that needs to usb to finish".

Such fucking bullshit.

Fuuuuuuuuuuck!

I wrote "git stash clear" instead of "clear".

Was attempting to clear the console, and had done a git stash list before, so my brain got confused for a moment.

I had a very important stash that I had made a day or two ago.
Im trying some "git fsck" commands to recover, but no dice yet. It's showing a looooot of stuff and I havent found the one I need yet.

I guess I should've commited the work, even though it was partial, and not ready.

int getRandomNumber() {
return 4; //chosen by fair dice roll.
}

Gaddammit. My night was going great. Skimming a Dice article, my eyes caught the following: "...to be considered, a language must be Turning complete..."

It's like fingernails on a chalkboard.

Turing complete, motherfuckers, get it right.

Programme that simulates the rolling of the dice when playing the Risk board game.

No more dice that fall off the table. No more dice that throw the figures into disarray.

Ever since i was a little boy, i was fascinated by the stars in the sky and what made them shine. I used to wonder how our universe came in to being. What made it what it is today. What will happen to it long after we re gone. Will it die? Will it live forever? How big is it? Why is it big if it s big and why is it small if it s small. "God did it" was never a satisfying answer for me. God does not play dice as Albert Einstein said. So many questions went through my 10 12 year old mind. Until someone recommended to me the book, "A brief history of time". The book answered a lot of my questions and gave birth to more. Computer science is like my crush. I love it as a friend. But Astrophysics, its the true love of my life. It not only quenches my thirst, but it satisfies my curiosity, while making me more curious. Its an endless cycle. It teaches us that we came from the stars, we go back in the dirt, and only to be returned to the stars again.
Stephen Hawking, his work, his books, taught me so much. Inspired me. Made me more curious. And today the world has truly lost, one of its greatest people.
You will be missed Sir Hawking. RIP.

So, idiot me decided it would be a good idea to never get around to configuring my UPS to gracefully shutdown my server after a powercut lasting more than x duration...

Long story short, we had a powercut that lasted 4 minutes or so longer than the battery in the UPS could keep the server up for...

UPS died, server went pew, and after rebooting itself once the power came back on, my raid array wouldn’t mount anymore...

After Googling around, it seemed like running e2fsck would solve the problem.

Didn’t seem to do the trick... and tired me at 3am decided it would be a good idea to poke around.

Pretty sure I ran a command wrong, or two, because now I can’t even mount the fricken array in read only, and fsck complains with a shit ton errors...

Been researching for hours, and no dice...

Test Disk shows the ext4 partition, but fails to list any files...

I may have destroyed the tables or something... I’m a noob at this point.

I’m able to access files with the RStudio tool, however this doesn’t help with file names and directory structure 😭

Is it all over for my 5 years worth of photos and other bits and pieces that I don’t have any backups of ? 😂😭😭

If any of y’all are pros with data recovery and can help a fellow boi out, I’d be more than happy to pay for ya time !

When i was younger, lesser experienced and more naive than now; i got away with a lot of things. By lot of things i mean security flaws in my applications and overall architecture. I realise now i could've so easily been pawned.

Not that i claim to be totally secure even now, or would ever. It is a process, slow and painful one - Learning.

What i wish to point out is the role of favorable probability (non believers would call it luck). Security is so much about it. You get away with so many things for so long. And bang one day the roll of dice is unfavorable. On such rare occasions, just look back and wonder - damn i should've been breached long ago.

Front-end web development in 2018 is a fucking dumpster fire. 4 month old blog post guides are out of date, hipster toolchain APIs change monthly, npm can't find a module that is literally right there in its entirety in the fucking node_modules directory. JavaScript is love. JavaScript is life.

Fuck Java and its related build tools.

Decided to throw caution to the wind and actually try to build a Java project, from scratch.

Install intellij, except it keeps complaining about the missing JDK, openjdk is installed but it doesn't like it.

Ok, whatever, I read that it's supposed to come with its own and so I point at that, no dice.

Ultimately I stumbled upon a stackoverflow post saying to just download the tgz JDK and just use that, I knew I could do that, but I wanted to use the tools the P environment suggested, but gave up.

Ok, so now I've got intellij and JDK installed, and I want to start my automatically generated project.

Except I now need gradle, fine, whatever, and now gradle complains it can't find the JDK...

Fucks sake... I was happy using Lein and Clojure, I didn't realise how fucking complicated it is to set up a Java IDE these days...

Fucking Webpack. This article is already out of date.

*sits at work*

Other dev has a problem, Visual Studio keeps crashing etc.

*Senior dev comes over*
asks what she's struggling with.

she explains it to him, saying it's possibly a port problem.

senior dev goes "ah, yeah that's just gonna take a second"

*senior dev sits down and rolls a new port with two actual dice*

I fucking died.

Customers API is like:
A: I get no input to the API, check your code.
B: My code works fine, just your API returns nothing.
A: I see, let me adjust it. Does it work?
B: No.
A: And now?
B: No dice.
A: But now it should work!
B: I am sorry, nope.
A: Ok, I try to turn off the firewall. Does it work?
B: Yes, it works...(and this is why I do overtime -_-)

Can anyone recommend a nice set of DnD dice for a gift? It's for my boyfriend's younger sister. She's just getting into it and we're all playing on her birthday.

There's cheap sets everywhere and I'd like to get her something of nice quality.

Who of you play/like Tabletop RPGs more than computergames RPGs?

I personally hate it when i dont have the freedom to be the character I want to be in a digital RPG.
So I started looking into Dungeons and Dragons a few years back and finally decided to start playing Pathfinder because it was gaining more and more popularity.

So do you play tabletop RPGs, if so how did you get introduced to it?

Here I go again, bitching about my job.
Might help though, I'm in a bleak and dark pit right now. Metaphorically, not actually.

I've had good times and bad times as a dev, same as anyone else doing pretty much anything else. Lately, it seems like there's a lot more bad than good though. I'm getting tired of the constant stupidity, bad communication, and frustration that comes with the territory, and I've been thinking of getting out of development altogether. Unfortunately it might be the only marketable skill I have. It could also be that I'm just a totally abrasive dickhead, and I'll inevitably be unhappy doing anything, but I can't be sure. Gotta account for the common denominator.

What I can be sure of is that in the last four months, my development team has gone from three people to just me, and very few people are applying to my company (we have a 1.8 rating on indeed last I checked, with some very illuminating reviews). Those that are applying end up rejecting whatever low ball offer the company makes them. We've gone through at least a couple of people in interviews so far.

Meanwhile, I'm the bottleneck through which every single piece of actual work passes, while the five non technical, non dev yes-man leeches in the dept sit on their asses and throw impossible timelines at me. That includes my boss. He doesn't back me up on anything. Ever. Still, I don't half ass anything. Intentionally. The work that I do is mostly quality.

The worst part is that it wasn't always like this. I absolutely loved this job when the workload was distributed, and I had friends to work with. I didn't even know about the bad reputation we seem to have, but I seem to have a gift for finding places like this. Tomorrow morning, I have a meeting about why my work has been slowing down. No idea if I'll be fired or not, but whatever. All projects will be at an indeterminate standstill if they cut me loose, so maybe that's "security"?

Anyone else been in and survived a situation like this? Did you stick it out or roll the dice on another job?

When you get the big enter button & can't stop slamming your fist on it.

So I'm a junior candidate & keep getting senior , way senior job reqs. There's no way you can put job preferences on Dice so I had to put "Jr/Entry Level only" at the end my name lol & still keep getting these.

I think they don't even look at your resume. Just blast out emails hoping they get something.

Its like shooting a rifle in the sky all over & hoping you've hit the target.

One of the constants in my live is that I cannot type in dreams, no touchpad or keyboard will ever output more than three coherent logically keys before it turns into gibberish. Other interaction works, but no input for computers or phones.

Today I dreamed of assisting a guy to shutdown the Linux Server I set up, via remote. The dream totally derailed and was a bit boring. My dream characters realized that something is up and used a different keyboard. No dice. Visually it looked like Thai or so without the appropriate fonts.

Sometimes I am really wondering what my dream director is thinking.

With a recent HAProxy update on our reverse proxy VM I decided to enable http/2, disable TLS 1.0 and drop support for non forward-secrecy ciphers.

Tested our sites in Chrome and Firefox, all was well, went to bed.

Next morning a medium-critical havock went loose. Our ERP system couldn't create tickets in our ticket system anymore, the ticket systems Outlook AddIn refused to connect, the mobile app we use to access our anti-spam appliance wouldn't connect although our internal blackboard app still connected over the same load balancer without any issues.

So i declared a 10min maintenance window and disabled HTTP/2, thinking that this was the culprit.

Nope. No dice.
Okay, i thought, enable TLS 1.0 again.

Suddenly the ticket system related stuff starts to work again.

So since both the ERP system and the AddIn run on .NET i dug through the .NET documentation and found out that for some fucking reason even in the newest .NET framework version (4.7.2) you have to explicitly enable TLS 1.1 and 1.2 or else you just get a 'socket reset' error. Why the fuck?!

Okay, now that i had the ticket system out of the way i enabled HTTP/2 and verified that everything still works.

It did, nice.

The anti-spam appliance app still did not work however, so i enabled one non-pfs cipher in the OpenSSL config and tested the app.

Behold, it worked.

I'm currently creating a ticket with them asking politely why the fuck their app has pfs-ciphers disabled.

And I thought disabling DEPRECEATED tech wouldn't be an issue... Wrong...

Look at this amazing chaos game fractal.
Three vertices of an equilateral triangle and a random point p between any two vertices are taken,then we generate a random integer between 1 and 6 (just like throwing a dice) .if 2 or 4 comes on the dice we draw a point between the random point p and the vertex v1.similarly if 3 or 4 comes on dice , we draw a point between the previously drawn point and vertex v2.for 5 or 6 the vertex is v3.after a few iterations we get to see this amazing pattern

I'm studying Python at the moment and I'm looking for some easy projects to do in order to gain hands on experience. After having written the code of a dice simulator for Risk!, I'm now thinking of a Twitter bot as my next project. Has anybody done it? Would you reccomend doing it?

Since joining devRant I've felt much more motivated to progress in learning Python and if it felt really rewarding to play Risk! without rolling the dice, it also thanks to you all. Sorry for ths cheesy nuance and for this not being a rant.

Dear recruiters just because I apply to a specific job online (dice) does not mean I want to be called about jobs in ducky places I would never relocate or in the town I would like to move from.

Real, seriously honest feedback wanted.
What do you do when you are stuck at a place that has potential but it is being run by someone with the wrong idea?
For example: not to toot my own horn, but I shine at front end Development. Not just slicing up designs, but seriously creating amazing user experiences. And honestly, there is no shortage of work for that ... every client we have has an expectation that their site or application will look awesome. And we have some very big clients.
That said, the manager truly believes that we are all inter-changeable and should have no preference. As a result, John Doe over there who has zero ability in front end gets tasked with building the front end of what should be an amazing app... while I eventually get tasked with some sitecore bullshit that I have no interest in.
And it goes on and on and on.
It is no coincidence that anytime the dice land on me for front end, it wins an award and always ends with an awesome thank you from the customer.

I am not sure what to do, because it just makes no sense to me. And this is just one example of the mismanagement.

Any help?

Meh. FFS. Thats how this shit starts.

Get a call to say 2018 Bank Holidays not showing on legacy web calendar.

/me looks for bank holiday code in PHP file ..... no dice.

/me finds a dBase table that holds all Bank Holiday info. Not ideal, but I can work with that.

Enter all Bank Holidaya into dBase. Sit back, relax, wait for page to reload to show me Banks .... no dice.

Huh??

Read code more closely ......

Included file (inline, half way through PROCEDURAL FILE FFS) and notice that the linked file has all Banks hand formatted into Calendar events, and minified.

If I ever meet the old dev in the street, so help me god. 🤬

You haven't lived until you've experience the sheer power of a CRT monitor, hooked up to a 286/12, with a 2600 baud external zoom for m00fing the shit out of other users in chat, so your friends with leech accounts can help download the 38 pkzip files via ZMODEM.

Shit... gotta go! iCE just released the latest pack on Sanctuary, and my ANSI art is being featured as the welcome screen on Pair O' Dice.

305, bitches!!1one

Indigogo is to retail what ICOs are to he financial industry.

- some random people think of an idea (ICO = token, IGO = magical dick cream)

- they both rely on well made but completely horse-shit marketing material

- they both spam your sites with the same repetitive ads

- they both offer discounts for getting in early (aka give us money before we have designed or built anything)

- they both make outlandish and sometimes illegal product claims (ICO = Visa is a partner, IGO = magic dick cream does magic things)

- in the end most of both options ends up giving you nothing at all and just running away with your money

- best case scenario they both deliver a product that is utterly worthless and meaningless

- everyone is hunting for that one coin or product that is a not a total scam.

I don’t hate indigogo but they certainly are shady as fuck. I’ve rolled the dice on then 4 times and got scammed on 2 of them. It’s basically a crap shoot.

Synergy

So here's where I'm at:
I was just offered a position as employee #5 at a small startup in my area with stock options. I've never experienced this before and I'm unbelievably anxious. On the one hand I genuinely believe in their solution/product and can see it being successful. On the other hand I know there's a huge risk associated with joining the company at that stage. Heck, they're still only going for their seed round in Q2 of next year! Meanwhile I'm working comfortably in an intermediate full stack dev role with 150+ people where I feel that I can be as much/little seen as I want. In other words I could probably coast for several years (and maybe slowly move up) without any trouble.

Has anyone else gone through this before? The opportunity could be huge but it feels like I'm rolling the dice... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

First time linux user feedback

Linux lovers are probably gonna eat me alive but I don't give a flying fuck
Maybe its a little lenghty or boring, tell me what you think

Backstory:
I work for game extension company. We work with WinAPI and such. I've been using Windows since forever and I'm happy with it. But I thought to myself "hey, if I wanna be a good dev, I should give Linux and OS X a try, too"

I downloaded Linux Mint couple of months ago to start with. I was unable to boot it from live CD no matter what I tried, even in recovery mode. Apparently, Mint 18.3 was based on Ubuntu 16.04 which doesnt support UEFI
Wait, what the fuck, all modern PCs have UEFI so what, do all Mint users have 10 y/o laptops and PCs???

Anyway, when I heard about Mint 19 being released I thought to give it another try and I did. What a surprise, it booted successfully from Live CD. I saw the Linux desktop for the first time in my life, yay! I then installed it, GRUB appeared, my Windows was still there and wasn't broken so I was happy SOMETHING was working. I configured timeshift and applied dvorak layout system-wide. Realised dvorak layout is fucked up big time and applied normal layout for just desktop environment. Everything was really nice until couple reboots later Cinnamon stopped launching (kept returning to login screen). Okay, lets use timeshift

First big what-the-fuck was when I found out system restore can only be done using GUI??? This is absolutely retarded and I couldn't believe it is true. Login screen has a reachable console but I can't login there since I can't type the password. Fuck, fuck, fucking drovak layout was there.

Recovery mode - I've spent 20 minutes trying to type "timeshift --restore" having to press all keyboard buttons just to progress with one button. I've had another what-the-fuck when I saw "error: can't restore timeshift - partition already mounted"
Okay, this is too much. Why the fuck would you bundle a recovery mode if you can't restore a snapshot from there.

I have spent 3 hours now googling and trying to remove this fucking keyboard layout. No dice. I am making another copy of the live CD now. I'm gonna reinstall the whole shit now. I have the desire to create a custom Mint version without this abomination of a keyboard layout.

It's okay. Windows has taught me to be patient.

Fuck Dvorak, I dont know who the guy is but his keyboard layout can eat my dick

Day one of my first big project.

It felt weird but a little easy to grasp discord.py but I felt like I was just copying people as I read or watched tutorials on how to use things and how they work and while I was getting started In general. But I got the dice function working great. I had an error but I fixed it.

After I got it working I uploaded it to my friends server and they messed around with it and it felt so great because they were enjoying it and complimenting me and I’m not even done with it :)

I’m learning a lot but I’m also struggling with certain areas like finding good documentation or feeling like I’m just copying.. but I’m gonna keep doing these update things because I feel cool and official as I write these :^)

Production code 😂 nice to see other people having fun