My girlfriend is amazing:

After a long uphill battle trying to finish a huge open source project I started months ago. She noticed I was getting a little deflated.
So she donated a small amount to the donation page to lift my spirits.
She wanted to do it secretly but didn't know that it wasnt anonymous.

The little things spur us on.

Manager: How come the intern does way more tickets than you?

Dev: Because you told me to only give him the easy ones since he either can’t do them otherwise or takes too long on the hard ones

Manager: Well how is he going to learn if we only give him easy ones?

Dev: That’s what I told you when you orig—

Manager: Assign him ALL of the hard tickets on your board immediately!

*Tickets closed per day drops significantly*

Manager: WHAT IS TAKING SO LONG ON THESE TICKETS!!!!!

Dev: …

Manager: THE SERVER IS DOWN THE SERVER IS DOWN!!!!

Dev: Ok I’ll look into it

*5 mins later

Dev: Wow these are really strange logs, it’s like config values are being changed all over the place while I’m looking at it

Manager: Well I figured while you were looking into it I’d go i to the server settings and change everything I could find in order to try and get the server back up again. Two sets of hands are better than one, Is it up yet???

Dev: …No.

Manager: I THOUGT YOU SAID YOU’D LOOK INTO THIS. I NEED ANSWERS NOW. WHAT IS TAKING SO LONG?!?!?

Dev: …

Hey, Root? How do you test your slow query ticket, again? I didn't bother reading the giant green "Testing notes:" box on the ticket. Yeah, could you explain it while I don't bother to listen and talk over you? Thanks.

And later:
Hey Root. I'm the DBA. Could you explain exactly what you're doing in this ticket, because i can't understand it. What are these new columns? Where is the new query? What are you doing? And why? Oh, the ticket? Yeah, I didn't bother to read it. There was too much text filled with things like implementation details, query optimization findings, overall benchmarking results, the purpose of the new columns, and i just couldn't care enough to read any of that. Yeah, I also don't know how to find the query it's running now. Yep, have complete access to the console and DB and query log. Still can't figure it out.

And later:

Hey Root. We pulled your urgent fix ticket from the release. You know, the one that SysOps and Data and even execs have been demanding? The one you finished three months ago? Yep, the problem is still taking down production every week or so, but we just can't verify that your fix is good enough. Even though the changes are pretty minimal, you've said it's 8x faster, and provided benchmark findings, we just ... don't know how to get the query it's running out of the code. or how check the query logs to find it. So. we just don't know if it's good enough.

Also, we goofed up when deploying and the testing database is gone, so now we can't test it since there are no records. Nevermind that you provided snippets to remedy exactly scenario in the ticket description you wrote three months ago.

And later:

Hey Root: Why did you take so long on this ticket? It has sat for so long now that someone else filed a ticket for it, with investigation findings. You know it's bringing down production, and it's kind of urgent. Maybe you should have prioritized it more, or written up better notes. You really need to communicate better. This is why we can't trust you to get things out.

*twitchy smile*

Just got this little stinker added to my board this morning….

Ticket Title: Weird shit going on in app

Ticket Description: (blank)

Attachment: <Screenshot of app logo>

Manager: Well what do you think is causing it?

Dev: Causing what?? This ticket doesn’t describe anything at all

Manager: Well it’s a bunch of different things! The ticket is just a high level summary. Now how long do you think it’ll take to fix?

Dev: …

A story about the shittiest boss I ever had.

We were a consulting company, I was leading the dev team. We're on the phone with a client who needs a change to the software we're maintaining for them.

Boss (mouthes at me): How long?
I (hold up 3 fingers, mouth back): 3 days
Boss (to client): You have it by tomorrow. *hangs up*
I: What the actual fuck?
Boss: You said 3 days, 3 times 8h is 24h, better order some pizza and Red Bulls for your guys.

He pulled stunts like this all the time and yet genuinely seemed surprised when I quit.

SUPERVISOR: You wrote this 140 lines method, it's too long. You should split it up, it's not readable
IHateForALiving: Bruh be serious, this is a single switch-case; I can't split it.
SUPERVISOR: Fine, I'll do it.

HIS CODE: He split the 140 lines method into 2 methods: the first is 4 lines long; it's a try-catch surrounding a call to the other method, 136 lines long.

Interviewer: We keep having devs take off for other opportunities after a short period of time. We need someone loyal who will be sticking around for the long haul. Oh wait, you only have one dev company you’ve worked for on your resume? Yeah that’s not good, we only hire devs who have worked for lots and lots of companies.

Dev: …

> make a change
> PR gets rejected
> IHATEFORALIVING! YOUR CHANGE IS NOT WORKING! EVERYTHING BREAKS!
> 3 hours long debugging session
> We find out a whole bunch of bugs
> Suddenly, everything works
> None of the bugs had ANYTHING to do with my change. In the instances where the app broke, my code wasn't even being called at all.
> My change was literally the one and only working thing

I wish life was like in The Office, when you just stop what you're doing and you drop the Jim stare at some camera

ARE YOU KIDDING ME.

I've got a client that is complaining a long sentence is on multiple lines on a mobile device.

You literally cannot make this stuff up. They are literally saying, "move this specific word up to the line above."

Manager: I don’t understand! How come you take twice as long to do tickets as anyone else but your PRs are stuck in QA for half the time as anyone else??

Dev: …

I’ve had a complicated relationship with my mother for as long as I remember and made the decision years ago to more or less cut her out of my life. I thought if anything happened to her, I’d be okay, that it wouldn’t affect me.

But my mum died on Sunday.

And I’m not okay.

I feel like devRant is now a study experiment to test how long a software can run without maintenance and how long people are willing to keep using it.

Can someone explain why weekends feel only 2 hours long in comparison to the rest of the week? I feel like I’m only beginning to relax and it’s a Sunday night.

I got an alert for a job and decided to apply for it.

First, it forced me to make a new account on their HR site. Strike one.

Second, it forced me to upload my resume to then make me re-construct my work history from scratch because these stupid resume import systems never get anything right. Strike two.

Third, it requires me to provide a PHONE NUMBER for EVERY employer I've ever had!? Over a 26-year career? When half those companies either no longer exist or the people I knew phone numbers for, and their phone numbers, are LONG GONE? Get outta here!

Three strikes, you're out!

Everything is a fucking priority.

According to the management, everything should be done yesterday already.

Gave me a single designer and developer while asking asking me to deliver long term and short term initiatives at the same time.

Morons.

I was working with a guy 3 years ago, he was junior web developer. Lazy for work, watching YouTube and game streamers all day long at the office. Sometimes i was fixing his crappy code.
And ... one week ago I was surprised seeing this guy come to my current work office as senior web developer.
Im also new at this office and i had good impression i was working with professionals before this happened. Guess what... This guy hasnt changed much. Still writes crappy code , no idea of clean code at all.
I got concerns about my work place now :/ thinking to change it.

less than a month left until a 365-days-long uptime of my laptop

Didn't notice the low-battery light glowing amber while watching Netflix

FFUUUCCCKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Legit can't remember. I've been driven by anxiety of deadlines for so long (and also, had no real vacation) that I only can work if a deadline is approaching fast.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I don't know man.. I know it's !dev, I just wanna share with ye how beautiful my first Tomahawk steak turned out..

Relatively stressful week with requirements doing U-turns and 5 requirements all becoming first priority, I had my first feckup in a while (nothing bad, just wasted a couple people's time) and now I started off into the weekend with this beauty..

100% Irish grassfed beef with a glass of Redbreast 12. Now I wanna sleep and digest.. OR drink much more whiskey. Not sure yet.

Enjoy the long weekend guys 😬

I recently left a company where we had 2 hour long standups. I was so tired of them because half the time was deprioritizing what we prioritized yesterday. Everyday there was something more urgent coming up. It was a startup with 6 engineers. Sometimes the conversations were just random stuff that could easily take 45 minutes.

Now it feels so nice doing 15 minutes standups and then having the time to do the actual work.

Exercise devs, exercise, exercise and then exercise a little bit more

I've been coding for a long time and tbh programming is a very fiscally stale labour/hobby and even if your mind is rushing looking for answers, jumping from one place to another you are not moving that much, yes adjustable desks for programming while standing up are good and having breaks also helps but nothing like running, jumping, climbing or any sport.

During my lifetime I've seen the long and short term negative effects of sedentary jobs, back problems, liver problems, hormonal imbalance, overweight, depression, and anxiety.

I've been fiscally active for a long while but when I stopped, the first symptoms I had were weight gain, anxiety and depression, one night I even broke a tooth from stress teeth grinding.

Ive seen that people here might be having this issues and think it's normal, but try it out, start with a walk or jog sprinkled on your weekend.

that really killed me today when i sat in the office

how good can you rant with your colleagues? i don't think i would survive long without this kind of therapy xD

This may or may not be an old meme but this is the first time i ever saw it and all i can say is

THANK YOU to the original creator, whoever he or she might be!

I had this insecurity for a long time as i always portrayed myself as more of a thinker than coder. I have to go over everythibg before i got to write even one single line of code, and for this reason i tought i might not be made out to be a programmer after all :s

It's truly reassuring to hear that your short comings are actually quite normal 😥

Sorry for the long post on a joke tagged post 😁

I'm going to talk to my supervisor about redoing their code base.
It will take time, it will suck a bit but I think the long term investment in doing this right will be worth it.

Wish me luck in convincing him 😂🤞

Jesus titty fucking Christ people are stupid. I hate everyone in the software development lifecycle that isn’t a developer or isn’t technically minded. Everyone else seems to be a fucking goofy arse mother fucker.

I just got in trouble because I fixed a defect that never should have been fixed, even though in yesterdays standup they brought it up and asked me what the status of it was. Apparently I was just supposed to estimate the defect and see how long it would take to fix. Why the fuck wouldn’t we do that in a grooming session or a sprint planning session, you are just begging to confuse the devs. Absolute mud sharks.

Beautiful Sunday morning, still no snow here (😒 mother nature) and I realized that I am... Googleable. Like, my name is now out there because of publications. Like, I have been protecting my identity for a long time now, so it's very annoying that I finally have been exposed.

Anyways, how do y'all deal with online fame and recognition?

Anyone else does this?

I can't for the life of me maintain focus during long boring meetings about new designs etc. For 2 years now I've gone by doing all kinds of stuff during meetings and only ocassionaly join in when I totally disagree with something.

Often I only need to chime in at the end anyway, either meeting notes get shared or I ask someone what was discussed the previous day.

Makes me realize how much time gets wasted

Fucking hell with the password fields.
Why in the fucking hell you can't tell me what's the max characters count? Why I have to deal with auto-truncated passwords after the fact?
Go eat exquisite shit, peasant punks, pussy cutters.

We have a new manager who wrote in his bio that he is into astrology.

At least we will no longer have to answer to "How long will it take?", because it is written in the stars XD

Wish me luck. I HAVE to launch 10 websites (yes, ten) this week and half if not all of the clients don't know their DNS accounts or log ins. I foresee a lot of long nights in my near future. Story of our life, right?

Twitter should be connected to a health tracking device so that users would only be able to reply to tweets as long as their pulse and blood pressure is still on a relaxed level. This could prevent dysfunctional "social" media "discussions" a lot.

I'm glad I handed in my notice. So long, client-database-update.xlsx. I will never again have to suffer your absurd inconsistencies

The course is 1 page long and has a giant poster that says don’t be an asshole.

long time ago....
Feature request: We want an android backup solution in Our app!
UI guy has already developed it, you just need to see if his solution is solid!
Ok then - lets look at the UI: Nice progress bars, that turn into green checkmarks. Looks good.
Now lets look at the code: ... Ok. loading some files into memory.... and... dafuq? does not write to a file?

Backup to RAM. With no restore. 🤦‍♂️.

I just wrote 80+ lines of tests for a 30 line module and I was really mad at myself for wasting my time like that, until I remembered that while writing those tests I did actually catch several really tricky bugs and it didn't even take that long.

To anyone asking for tips and tricks to start programming or become good at it, here is your ultimate golden advice: learn how to google and stop asking stupid questions like this before doing a quick research.

Reasons why:

1. You will most likely to learn better if you do your own research before asking for help. Even if you can't solve problem, you will be better and better at googling over time.
2. It is instant source of information. No need to wait for response (except response from server of course).
3. It takes only YOUR time.
4. Much more possible solutions/answers to your problems/questions.
5. Your quality of life will be improved over time. Not only your dev life but your daily life too.

There's nothing like cleaning out a cupboard of stuff you have long since moved on from only to find this hidden in the corner.

I once had a Mac, it's still a piece of shit and I'm not convinced Apple ever made life easier to use one of these 😅

how often did this happen to you?

- fix a bug
- think, now that i'm here, let's smuggle in some refactoring, just this aspect, won't take too long
- spend more than half a day refactoring, finally finding yourself entangled in a spaghetti nightmare
- stash / shelve and revert all your refactoring changes
- continue on your other tasks and talk to noone about it ._.

I forgot this app existed, it’s been so long!

At a previous company we hired an 18 year old guy and father from a minority and without a high school degree. He could write enough code to get the job. However, he took 3h long lunches, came in late to work and apparently had a problem taking orders from women. At one point all the juniors got an earful because of his attitude and he got let go, not long after. It still saddens me because he could have made a really good career if wasn't for his attitude.

Now I have checked
Twitter
Instagram
InterNations
LinkedIn
Telegram
Reddit
devRant

It's time to seize the day

i don't know graphql

but the schema.graphql file is over 100 000 lines long and lags intellij

how bad is this?

it wasn't really useless but i spent months of my internship making a software that was shelved because "it was taking too long to be made". half of my year in the trash

Ive been sitting on toilet for so long that my legs are numb and i cant feel them

> asks for better pay
> starts trying to evaluate the quality of our efforts
> complains about doing things that are not good in the long run
> spends time mastering best practices
> unemployed

I recently got into an interview where the interviewer made a huge mistake:

R: “what’s your resignation period?”
Me: “well, long story short I’m working on a contract so it’s actually short, just 1 month”
R: “mhhh could you make it 2 weeks somehow? We may really need to start sooner”

This is a sentence you shouldn’t say as a recruiter as now I know:
- You are desperate to find someone
- You have a time urgency
- You failed to find someone before
- You basically confirmed you want me in

Did you know chrome on Android has a dark theme????

**gasps**

Why didn't anybody tell me that? I missed out for so long!... Actually how long has this even been out?

Either way, good discovery!

Years ago we hired a new employee in our department, her first week was kind of slow, she had training materials to get through but otherwise didn't have much newby work for her. I noticed she was missing one day, she wasn't at her desk or in the area training, I found her hiding behind a door playing a video game and texting on her phone. She didn't last long there. She should have asked for something to do, or asked what she could be doing, instead of sneaking off and playing on her phone.

Are you ready for the only really useful advice on devRant that is not judgmental, simple, and instantly applicable?

Here it goes. If you have hiccups,
1. Inhale your full lungs until you can’t inhale anymore
2. Hold your breath as long as you can
3. Exhale carefully

This will “reboot” your breath cycle, and that conflict between breathing and other things that causes hiccups will go away.

Repeat if needed. Breathe slowly and carefully after you finally exhale.

!rant Stood outside talking to my next door neighbor (who I hadn’t met yet) for over an hour yesterday.

In the middle of the day.

In Texas.

Not in shade.

When I lack the ability to tan.

It’s been so long since I was stupid enough to be outside for that long that I forgot just how much sunburns suck.

#regrets

I am so mentally drained from having to deal with the intern who I have to literally spoon-feed every single thing. My previous posts illustrate the situation...

The language and cultural barriers are too much, and I am too afraid to open my mouth because of the sensitive nature of my country's history and I'll get labelled as some horrible person.

I told my manager today that I'll stick it out until end of January (thankfully I am on vacation for most of December and January), but I cannot work with her. She was supposed to move to the data team end of December, but my manager told me if she can't even properly grasp this HTML and CSS stuff, then she will not be able to do the other tasks they have for her.

This was a disaster of an experiment and I'm somewhat traumatised ( I am sure the intern is too) and I never want another intern again, nor do I want to manage people. I never said I want to be a people manager, I just want to quietly code at my desk.

This company sells MBTI psychometric assessments and they damn well know my preference, so I'm seriously annoyed that they threw this horrendous surprise on me and kept ignoring my requests for revisiting this intern's role, because I noticed a long time ago that she was struggling with basic concepts and all they did was make her do Udemy courses.

I told them multiple times that she seriously needs computer literacy training because she will not survive in this industry if she still struggles to understand how files and folders work. Other employers would have fired her a long time ago.

She's just too slow for this job. I feel sorry for her, but I do not have the capacity to do this anymore. I'm tired, it's been a long year.

!dev
I used to read.. A lot. Long and complicated stories, where the plot would only unveil itself after a long time. I used to dig myself into a book, learning about the writer's thoughts and mental image, reflecting on our differing viewpoints on the question at hand. I didn't expect action or beauty, merely thoughts which, by themselves, constitued a value to me.
But pulp and especially social media had lowered my attention span to the point that even reading through a short story without getting sidetracked takes a lot of effort. I still value what I used to value, the only thing that's changed is that I no longer have the patience and I feel discomfort due to the lack of sensations.
What do I do? Had anyone solved this problem before?

RIP in peace @Frederick

Long live District05!

!rant, TL;DR at the bottom

Holy fuck, Yesterday, I got absolutely schooled by a literal newbie.
And I mean, NEWBIE newbie, the dude just started a Computer Science degree, and has been learning Java only for a MONTH. He has 0 prior experience with code or anything of the like, and he's somewhat of an Ars(Israel's version of a Gopnik).
So I was helping him with some stuff he didn't understand, and lo and behold his code was probably the most aesthetically pleasing and organized code I have seen in my 8 years of programming(I know 8 is not much, but It's at least above beginner level). The dude's a perfectionist, so I was like, "Okay, very impressive, but makes sense for perfectionism"(I straight up told him: "Damn, I've seen people with years of programming experience who can't learn to write this well, and you do this by default? I envy whoever's going to work with you"), and then I saw the way he writes checks(as in, methods that return a boolean) and I think I came.
The code was:
[First method in the picture]

And I know, it doesn't look as ✨ WOW✨ as I make it sound, but in my personal opinion this both looks much better and is much more readable than what I normally write:
[Second method in the picture]

and whenever there are longer or more complicated checks it makes it look like a simple puzzle that just fits in all the pieces nicely, for example in a rectangle class we had to write an 'isIn' method, this is how I wrote it:
[Third method in the picture]

His way of writing the same thing was:
[Fourth method in the picture]

Which I think is soooooo much better and readable and organized,
It's enough just looking at the short return statement to immediately understand everything that's going on.
"Oh, so it just checks if the SW(South West, i.e. Bottom Left) corner is above and to the right, and if the NE(North East, i.e. Top Right) corner is bellow and to the left"

Point of the story? Some people are just fucking awesome. And sometimes the youngest/most inexperienced people can teach you new tricks.
And to all of you dinosaurs here with like, 20+ years of experience, y'all can still learn even from us stupid ones. If 8 years can get schooled by a 1 month, 20 years can get schooled by a 1 year.
Listen to everyone everybody, never know where you might learn something new.

TL;DR: Got schooled by a local "Gopnik" who only started learning programming a month ago with 0 prior experience with his insane level of organization and readability.

After having worked at my current company for about 9 months, I finally feel like I'm contributing and less like a complete moron (at least less often).
It's nice! This week has probably been my most productive in a long time.

"Yesterday "
Client: ''Perfect! How did you do this do quickly? "
Me: "I used a library"
"Today "
Me: "I'm still debugging. It will take some time"
Client: "well, It has already taking too long.... I can hear Mozart in the background. Maybe you need to go to a library to get some quite and get it done fast. Visit the one you used yesterday. "

Me: "library?Ahh... I meant plug in like.... Code, a library is a bunch of packed code. "

I'm so tired of finding great repos and then discovering that they're just abandoned. 0 response to PRs or issues.

How long is appropiate to wait for an author to respond before you can consider your own version to be the 'new fork'?

Fuck product managers.

Just the other day I was discussing our progress so far and this product manager shows us the timeline and his vision for the project.
Ngl, I haven’t seen such an ambitious fuck for so long. He doesn’t know how to do anything other than fucking spreadsheets. The only problem with his plan is that we don’t even have the team, just 2 pity devs carrying it.

I still don’t get it, why the fuck would a company with 2 devs need a product manager?

What I learned from devrant:
There is someone, somewhere, that will upvote the stupidest shit.

Which I find both terrifying and humorous. This is not a criticism nor a putdown. I find people fascinating. I also realize that my definition of "stupidest shit" is very subjective. This is definitely the most "fun" forum I have been on in a long time.

It has been a long long time since I posted, a lot has happened the past couple of months.

I lost my grandfather, I got a nice dev job and God I miss ranting here. I finally published my side project and all I have to say is

AWS is a b*tch! But beautiful at the same time, had to learn a lot the old way (trial and error).

I don't have any anime pictures as I've changed phones recently but I find this picture just as awesome.

Hope you are having a great day ranters.

Things that are obvious to me when I talk are not at all obvious for the people around me. Not at all. Whatever I say, people hear something else, and I have to elaborate.

There are two possible reasons.
A) 95% of people around me are fucking stupid
B) Long chain of conclusions I encounter and decide to skip is not evident, and is an example of lateral thinking. I have to be more specific and tell the whole chain when I speak.

Music. Music teaches you numbers, creativity, patterns, structure, and basically primes your brain for math and creativity in that space. In addition, it teaches you how to think both within a structure and outside the box, as well as the importance of repetition, memorization, and learning a new language.

Music really was my second language, and the ability to read/write it fluently is a skill that takes a long time to master. I really believe that it increases your brain plasticity so much.

what this.

imagine losing your mind over this.

especially after filling long a** form

Currently literally sitting in a meeting about meetings. Like for real, the topic the last 15 minutes has been what the difference between 3 of the daily team meetings is.

Then the dumbass who booked this for two hours says about one of the others "an hour is long"

Last week, after ransomware hit. Whole week (including the weekend) just to sleep and get back to office.

The director's words still give me shivers "This is taking too long, can't you just write and pay them already?"

computers are really expensive around here, so I've been using the same laptop for 6 years. a couple months ago it perished (rip).

me and my bf got all new parts and made a reasonably priced pc. it's been the first in a really long time that i enjoyed using a computer lol. it's a huge difference in my mindset knowing things won't take 3 min to load and that it won't crash every 2 secs

GIRLS PRANK
Omg I changed her lipstick with one of a slightly different color I'm so random she'll go CrAaAaAzY

BOYS PRANK
Use Tampermonkey to transform your colleague's pc into a chinese botnet and redirect him to some PCC website on every click forever

Yeah long story short that's how my previous firm blocked access to domains hosted by the Chinese government.

Recruiters who cold e-mail me get hard and specific questions before I ever give them a resume and phone number. Been doing this too long to just randomly hand a resume and contact info to whoever. YOU came to ME. Make it worth my while.

I have adhd and anxiety which means I cant smoke, drink coffee or drink alcohol because that fucks up my sleep and short term and long term memory badly for few days in a row. ADD symptoms become unmanageable. Fuck my life. I guess I will have to cut all stimulants if I want to be abe to function as a decent dev. I will have to cut most of my social circle because they wont understand me not going out for drinks... Fuck my life....

Boss: How long will it take to finish the project?

Me: (Gives date for finishing dev and deployment.)

Boss: great, sound reasonable.

Me: ...

Boss: wait. Aren't you on vacation the two weeks after that.

Me: jup.

Boss: yeah we are not doing that again. Client can wait another two weeks.

Before someone says no Boss/PM is like that, he was/is a developer too so discussing deadlines and efforts is usually pretty relaxed since he knows our codebase and how long it takes to do things.

OK, end of massive fucking 1 year long Dunning-Kruger wave. Time to learn C and algorithms. Looks like I'm Learning the curriculum in reverse order but nothing too bad.

The older I get and the more perspective I have on my career, the more I cringe at the times I thought I was awesome but I really wasn’t, especially in the eyes of or in comparison to others I’ve worked with who were much better at this than I am. In that respect, I have very few stories that _aren’t_ embarrassing. I sometimes wonder how I managed to stay employed this long. And whether any stories here on DevRant are about me.

Positive story ahead.

Had to try and make a new system on my own in a company with no tech staff. I was scared shitless of the responsibility. About a year later we got 2 new devs and people are somehow paying for our very flawed and incomplete mvp.
It's fulfilling and fun. Taking something from zero and suddenly having an actual application with customers.

The other 2 engineers are fun and we talk shit while coding and teaching each other. We also study new tech every day to keep getting better.

I'm even getting some stocks soon.

Long road ahead but honestly, life's good.

I was in Singapore last week for a conference. The speaker, who I met a long time ago and was our contact at Meta/Facebook, was promoting FB/Instagram reels and even gave pointers on best practices when posting reels.

She was one of the 11,000 employees that Meta let go one week later. Ouch.

However pathetic it may sound, I haven't. I've made good acquaitances, yes. But friends...

Last I had friends was in my first uni years. Long, long ago. After that - they went on their path and I - on mine. Work, family, personal projects and sometimes moto rides - that's my life now. Not really much time for friends. Not really much time to make any. Not enough time in a day to think/worry about it, not to mention reconsider my priorities/choices.

Dear app developers
The purpose of toasts is to report a few words in response to a single and repeatable action. Don't put long error messages resulting from submitting an 8-page form in a toast.

Hello everyone, I've returned and hopefully start ranting again.

I took a long needed break to think about a lot of shit and I'm back with a much healthier mindset and plan for myself.

Aside from the world going to hell what's new?

Just...Macbooks

(sigh)

The entire day wasted having to install a new OS to install a new Xcode to export an app, only to find the xcode was installed under a different user (who has long since gone from the company) to then have to look up what to do, to then just sit...........and....................wait.............for Xcode to download again.
And I know when I try to export my app (which had zero problems being exported to Android) I'm going to hit an entire day tomorrow of bug fixing for ios sh...stuff

Please just let me cancel my 1-year subscription for the end of that one year NOW without only giving me an option to cancel everything right now and still pay 54 € fee, that's not only silly, it's what makes customers shout FUCK YOU Adobe! Long gone the good old times, who needs your outdated stuff in 2022 anyway?

I swear to god "old school" C++ devs are menace to humanity

Why yes let's make this one line long function, that could even be constexpr, and make it a macro.
Why the fuck not, let's make compiler errors worse by foregoing any type checking. Let's throw away namespacing as well, great.

Fuck you.
I shouldn't have to dig through 4 levels of nested macros just cause "muh performance" and "we've always done it like that".
Shit yourself.

This was a long time ago, when I was an 18 year old junior dev in my first job and still studying at college part of the time.

The lead programmer saying things like “we [meaning the experienced devs] are alright if this project goes wrong but you need to prove that you can deliver because you could be out of a job”.
Thanks. Mofo set me right up for lasting confidence issues.

Less than two years later I was killing it when the language they used became object oriented. That asshole couldn’t understand any of the concepts.
That feeing of being out of my depth has lingered though.

Is it a bad sign when you sit in your car for as long as possible before going into your office building? Asking for a friend.

Java is a DSL to convert XML files into long stack traces.

The list is long... Very long.

*Anxiety is seen smirking in the background*

I'm doing a tiny project in c++ to teach myself, its infuriating. Forgot the pass-by-reference ampersand and spent a full hour trying to figure out why the program took so long...

Currently reading through a long GitHub issue thread. For some reason people started quoting the entire message they are replying to.
The last post has 9 nested messages and the quote section is 1600 pixels tall. Who needs @mentions anyways.

long gone those days...

If only this button could make this shitty work week end & launch me in to paradise. I've had it up to here with PMs, clients, sales and stupid people. Any one else? 😖🙋🏼👋🏼

!rant
...i realized i can actually pattern-match like this (as in, sequence of elements (including "whatever") instead of just head::rest in F#...

...from watching a talk about prolog.

like "wait... prolog can do this when pattern-matching? that seems very useful. i think i tried to do that in F# but it didn't work, which seems stupid... I'm gonna go try it again".

and sure enough =D
i think i really am gonna like F# if i find the time and resolve to break through how its different mode of thinking stretches my brain in ways it hasn't been stretched for a long time =D

> phone rings during worktime hours
> "Yeah, I was contacting you on behalf of YADDAYADDA, I just found your CV in our database and I wanted to know if you were open to work for us"
Excuse me, how long ago did I submit my application?
> "Mmmmh... it says 2020"

What exactly am I even supposed to answer.

I haven't been here for a long while but I wanted to peek in because of the dev ducks, cause I thought they would be a great gift for someone and now I found out they're sold out - my disappointment is immeasurable and my day is ruined.

But now I decided I'm just gonna buy. a rubber duck and DIY it.

Sometimes it takes too long to fix it :(

"Hey can you make this excel report for me real quick? Here are the columns, you gotta get them from this table in the database. Shouldn't take long."

Alright, sounds easy enough wait where is the data. I have to join how many tables? What is this bullshit data? I want to strangle the guy who modeled this piece of garbage.

Me: *changes a long and complex calculation to fix old mistakes*

Program: *keeps outputting the same wrong result*

Me: *goes mad for a good hour trying to discover the problem by debugging it like a angry rat*

Also me after one hour of debugging: *discovers he never changed the output source of the function and it's still outputting the old result*

Had to fire two good developers and a decent QA engineer due to financial reasons in the company :(
That was the painful part, but moreover GUESS WHO'S GONNA GET MORE RESPONSABILITY FOR THE SAME WAGE?!

So long and thanks for all the fish. I'll see you in valhalla

Two evolutionary traits that would've made us decent animals if we never got smart:
1. Running. On the African continent, there are hardly any animals that can outrun humans. Yes, cheetahs and whatnot are faster in a short run, but humans sweat and can cool down their bodies efficiently in a long run. Human can chase down pretty much anything. You can't run away from a human.
2. Throwing. Humans are the best throwers in the animal kingdom. Monkeys can throw too, but because of their long arms, they lose balance and can throw objects nowhere near as far and strong as humans.

These days are long days...

Not yet fully burnt out. Soon tho. And I am really looking forward to taking a few months off between this degree and the next and traveling a bit. ( That is, if I finally manage to finish this damn degree... )

Intern - adds commit message like "added two files"

Me - Hey Intern, I've added commit lint, please don't disable precommit hooks.. so let's follow standard commit message format

Intern - commits like "feat(app): fix changes"

*later*

Me - Hey Intern, please commit with short meaningful messages like what actual changes were made

Intern - commits like feat(app): whole long story of what he couldn't do and some changes..

Me - 🤦

My boss thinks database = table
I hope it doesn't bring problems in the long run.
Any "web dev for CEOs" material you recommend?

god... why is the stupid "tAbS oR sPaCeS?" still around, it's like some stupid ass HR person got it long ago and it's never gone away. nobody has used tabs to write or format code since like the 1950s when there were mechanical fucking typewriters! and if you use them today in your editor, you're WRONG

I will die on this hill.

I've been putting off my gamedev project for a while... while the golden age of free open source game development has long ended, I believe that a renaissance is long overdue!

Forget most useless feature, an entire, year long product. Me (at the time very junior) and a principle engineer, wasted a year bundling our product as a plugin in a third party app. 3 years later, we'd sold 2 licences. It was a buggy pile of hell.

After 20 minutes of recording a coding tutorial video in Quicktime, I clicked the "stop" button and waited for the file to write to the desktop. And I waited....and waited....and waited....and....nothing. Short test videos I had created saved fine, but not this long one. I've tried all the recommended "how to recover Quicktime recording" tutorials, but no joy. Does this ever happen to you? If so, were you able to recover any recordings and how did you do it?

Hi devrant. Super-long time lurker, (years), but now introducing.

Expect the Spanish (ranting) inquisition.

Even as a green dot, I post in joke/meme just to not annoy innecesarily with non-rants.

Fuck off git!

Why the fuck is a simple "git status" getting stuck? Is it even gonna return something by the end? How long am I supposed to wait?

Ffs 😡😡😣

Hi, how y'all doing?

Okay I'm doing the whole leetcode bs, interviewing with a faang like company.

I'm genuinely curious to see if their engineers are actually any good. It seems backwards to me to hire someone based on something they most likely know by heart.

It's like trying to stress test an API by calling a cached endpoint. It will look fast AF, and it will be, but it won't compute shit.

Anyway, if I get the job and the engineers aren't crappy, then I'll forever stfu about how lame this is. But if I get the job and the devs are crappy, oh boy you'll hear me for a long time.

Are retros and reviews usually 2 hours long? 🚩🚩

I just love how companies would go to any length to motivate you to work more!

As long as it doesn't cost them more than peanuts..

Key to long term career survival as a developer: learn to ABI (Always Be Interviewing).

Build times are kinda long. Guess I'll waste some time on here in the mean time...

After very long time I am amazed again with the technology. AI is really unbelievable

PO1: Hey, PO2 just told me that he experiences a lot of crashes in our iOS app!

Me: Whoa! The app hasn’t had any crashes since ages. The testers haven’t reported crashes either. (Me in panic mode). I will ask PO2 about some details about the crashes.

Me to PO2: So, can you please describe me when the crash happens?

PO2: (long story about error messages and UI quirks and how he force quits the app to make them disappear)

Me: OK thanks for that info. Those are definitely valid problems that we have not encountered yet. But none of them are crashes. So are there any other problems that cause crashes?

PO2: Yes and no. (Long story and more problems)

Me: ok we need to investigate that. But are there crashes?

PO2: (Something that doesn’t answer the question)

Me: I need to ask explicitly again: Are there actual crashes where the app closes itself automatically?

PO2: No, that has never happened.

Sifting through a React class component that is over 1000 lines long.

When was this written? Not in the 1950s like you might think. Just over 3 months ago.

Kill me.

!rant

Sooo not so long ago, i was saying something about my recent first interview. I passed it and it felt so good and that kind of made me proud. But now it is even better! I just got my first peanuts as a developer and i must say "boy, it felt good" !

Thank you all, members of the devRant community for always giving me not only courage to try, ideas to research and reasons to laugh, but the most importantly: some insights of how things are out there. For a introvert like me it is really great to not simply step into the darkness, blindfolded 😁

Cheers to you all! 😘

Business: how long would this pile of vague tasks that are not fully defined, and whose requirements we don't even know, take to finish?

Was working on an algorithm a few months back. I was not liking how long it was taking to process some data. A colleague of mine said: "Just throw out the data that is past a certain distance. You don't need it." At first I was shocked. Throw out data... Seemed so wrong at the time. He was correct, and it made sense. What was I saving it for? Posterity?

An iterative process of "plan, do, test, improve" shouldn't leave an engineer's head. If we outsource "plan" to a manager, "test" to another blabbering idiot with a corporately purchased donut hanging off his mouth, the cycle becomes too long to actually work. Multiplied by an engineer's despair because he's obviously clever enough to see the whole picture, this is a recipe for disaster.

Throwing man-hours in there won't solve anything.

I made that request a month ago or so, not long after i started to use devrant more often than any other app, and i can say only that i am glad that i pressed "install" that time when i found it in the GoogleStore.

Thank you all for making this community more like a family than a refuge!

Truth is i feel a little bad now for doing that but i might be able to repay the founders and all mambers of this community somehow, someday. And i am looking forward to do it 😁

Cheers!

"Task took a long time. Should have been more persistent in chasing person."

I honest to god don't give a crap.

I don't think it could be more .net core than this: Several parts of the application ended up failing because of a too long URL. For example we used a List to store selected items in an array and they each looked like this:
&model.selectedIds[n]=true
The server side made more sense but we were running late with the project so we just went with it and hoped no one would use this feature.

Hi. Im new to programmings on computer. Im learning css programming its so difficult. How long do i need to learn css programming so i move onto html programming ?

Stepping through the source code of a no-code-graphical-programming-tool (or however you call that) to understand why my stuff isn't doing its thing or at least see what it wants from me.
Very intuitive

Why does the content of my comment have to disappear when I accidentally click next to the post button?!

So many times I wanted to comment something, lost the content and said 'fuck this' because of it.

Just keep the string for as long as I'm on the same rant and not reply to a different person..

Is there a scientific term for *that* window of time where you feel totally unproductive before or after a call/standup? How long is it for you?

Your life is a line. You don’t decide how long it is, but only you decide how wide it is.

Hey guys, i joined a new company a week ago. In the offer letter they mentioned the working hours from 9:30pm to 6:30pm but today an HR told me to be online till 7:30pm. I refused. Guys i really cant sit for so long in front of the computer. 9:30 to 6:30 is a good time, but i cant sit for more than that. Also after 6:30 i meet my friends everyday. I dont know what to say to them the next time they ask me to sit for so long. If they want employees to sit for so long then why dont they mention it on offer letter?

Burned out! Taking a fucking long ass weekend break next week. Let’s gooooo

- hanging my brain on a nail and drying it watching Netflix

- stroll/hike in nature (park, forest, by the river, etc.). At least 1 hour long

- warm seasons: riding around the city on my e-scooter at max speeds (works amazingly well!)

- warm seasons: gardening

Video social calls are the absolute worst. I have a shitty Intel 11 series chip in my laptop; which is a waste of sand. My laptop often slows to a crawl on calls, so I can't work on things, and I have to listen to them all prattle on about kids and things I don't care at all about. Sometimes we play games, which is tolerable. My company is international and 100% remote, so this will never end so long as I work for them.

You know what fuck github , anyone remember when git cli was easy and straight forward to use

Now i have conflicting master branches because the remote is main and git automatically defaults to master.

Git still asks for a password while github can't wait to inform me how I have to go through the very long process of setting up an auth_token.

Apparently https remote origins for some reason don't work anymore, why because apparently i need to change them into ssh, good luck with the public key errors

This sucks , fuck github and fuck politics

Taking a class at my local university for fun where the point of the class is to build some kind of project for local companies. The teacher talks a lot about Wordpress and how great it is... He's not a dev, and has only worked as a business consultant/pm.... It's gonna be a long semester, but at least he's funny and has good choices in tv shows to include in his lectures.

brew install librsvg

...three hours later...

what?

🤡🤡🤡

You

know

what

I

love

?

When

rants

/

posts

are

really

long

and

devRant

makes

me

scroll

down

on

the

front

page

every

time

I

come

back

from

a

rant

.

Not sure if this will actually
show and sorry, kinda~

Forget SaaS, long live the AaaA — AI-as-an-API!

How long can you work in a role with no potential that bores you shitless but pays an astronomical amount?

Shall I compare thee to summer's day?
No, a summer's day isn't a 20 lines long method.

I just transformed a sorting command that was seven lines long into an ungodly abomination that was about 70 lines.
We don't do these things because they are easy, we do them because we thought they are easy.

I will always remember that phrase and might never find out who came up with it.

This fucking company man. Implementing a simple feature (just a couple settings in the android app) is taking me 4 fucking weeks(feature was done long time ago, but not in the way that. they wanted, even though I followed existing implementations). I have like 60 comments in my code review from which half feels like it's just purely nitpicking. I already have 2.5 years experience and I just want to kill myself or quit the job if every code review here willl be like this.

Client has decided to buy another server because the old one is too slow

Manager: how long will it take to move our apps to the new server
Me: maybe 3-4 hours

15 hours later
Manager: why isn't it finished yet?
Me: because I have to install a lot of missing things on the new server, and I have to google a lot to find them
Me (thinking): because your 15-years old apps suck big time

I woke up set on finishing this project today. Woke up at 7.30, started working right away (almost... ok I checked reddit).

So far all I finished is the list of things left to be done.

It's gonna be a long day

Going to long trying to figure it out myself before asking for help.

Friday, forced deploy day for last & current months work. Been stockpiled due to holiday.

Yesterday boss demoed the product to clients so they expect to test today.

Early o'fuck this morning, a coworker managed to drop all secrets and env vars from CI pipelines and trigger a deploy leaving production broken...

It's gonna be a long and busy Friday...

After how long do we delete the commented code

For a long time I could not understand how do people put up with watching ads in Android apps. Then it dawned upon me: they grew up like this and they never had a proper classic old-school desktop experience. Back in the day it was unimaginable to have intrusive ads. I will never put up with intrusive ads. I despise it

Now even developer tools have ads, like Docker or NPM

Yesterday, the Project Manager forwarded an email from a staff member who worked on a donations campaign. Staff member was confused about a Cloudflare challenge that appeared before the user was sent to the donation page. It’s a less than 5 second JavaScript check. He thought it looked fishy.

I had to explain that it’s a security measure that’s been up for almost a month. PM knows this but left it to me to explain because ownership of the site is on me. The donations page and api gets hit by a lot of bots because it’s a public api and there are no security measures like captchas to deter the bots. I’m inheriting this website and I didn’t build it.

Staff member says other staff want to know if the Cloudflare page can be customized so it looks more legit. Um, Cloudflare is a widely known legit service. Google it.

A few thoughts pop into my head:

1. Engineering communicated to stakeholders about the Cloudflare messaging a month ago.

2. Wow, stakeholders don’t share relevant info with their staff who aren’t on these emails.

3. Woooow, stakeholders and staff don’t look at the website that often.

I like the clicks of mouse, the taps of keys, sound of central cooling, the low tone conversations but if someone near me is in a long meeting and constantly talking, I NEED my headphones with music blasting

Guys i had a question...do people managers get more salary than developers? If they do then would i ever earn more than them in future and how long will it take for me to earn more money than them? Dont get me wrong, i dont have anything against them, i just want devs who do all these stressful complicated stuff to have more salary than people managers...your thoughts please, thanks

Not sure how to feel.

Just landed on a stackoverflow querstion. Originated by myself 5 years ago. With a long discussion and a solution.

Sooo how the fuck I don't remember it at all ?

Learn Rust and Elixir because of my hopefully new and exciting role. I want to become production ready developer for these languages as quickly as possible. But more than anything I want my new role not making me hate my profession.

And also I would like to start a long duration relationship. Can’t have it all though.

Nearing the end of the year, and all I'm thinking is that I'm just making bad decisions left and right. And these are like long term decisions, that don't show results until much later.
It's making me really depressed and it's not good.
There are a bunch of should haves all littered throughout the past 3 months and it's really fucking with me.

I cycle between games I play. I am now back to Minecraft. Playing FTB OceanBlock. It is progression lite. Less of a grind with short and long term rewards. It is like a skyblock, but you can start on an actual island. I am really enjoying the mods FTB developed just for this modpack. The modpack has plenty of tech in it to satisfy my need to build something purely for fun.

The Berlin rental market is so bad that I have to spend my long weekend figuring out how to write a bot to send applications for me.. (or keep hitting F5 all day and still be too late)

I just solved a 3 or 4 month old bug. Dont even know how long I've been struggling. But im tired. I had to hire people off upwork. Over 20 developers failed to solve this problem. 4 months later this one guy solved it within a day.... Fck u flutter

Want to ask on how you guys overcame your burnout from coding, i think its been so long since i really got into coding like i used to before.

Any tips for a long flight (15hrs) ?

How long is this at the duckduckgo corner?

Well, seems working in toxic corporate environments for too long has had an effect on me

"Please ask permission the day before when you have do something in the morning that will make you late" I wound up not being late after all but anyway

Sorry I come from a place where the only to get that kind of stuff down was by being cagey with information and leaving things as vague as "I have to run an errand" at the last possible minute

FAANG is dead, long live Moana:
- Meta
- Oracle
- Alphabet
- Netflix
- Apple

Why are we having long scrum meetings on a “no meeting” day

I'm convinced that the PRODUCTION servers can smell your long-awaited salary appraisals from a mile away.

#FML

I know we are supossed to complete tasks fast.
But god I hate it when they ask for a "simple fix" that they have no fucking clue how to even begin to do. Clients obviously don't have to know this, but my boss can't code an if statement yet feels as though he can say what's easy and what's not and how long it'll take.

Completely forgot to update what was going on with my potential role shift. Long story short, it was approved by the damagement. That’s nice.

I only have to get to a major milestone in my current giant of an IaC project and transfer enough knowledge to leave it in my current team mates’ hands. Looks like we’ll be there pretty much next week and I can switch at the start of 2023. Life’s good.

> be me
> " It's Sunday, time for some battlestation housekeeping"
> " Oh easy, every git repo should do 'git clean -dfx'"
> Goes to ~/.rbenv
> Executes 'git clean -dfx'
> A whole 15 minutes long my drives go in overdrive...
> Removed 37 ruby versions and their gems, 104GB space freed up

I should do this more often

And I should now pull in all new versions and other things...

<"Perfect is enemy of good"
>"Excellent! I keep my enemies very close"

I do believe it possible that one can find at least one perfect counter to every stupid folk saying that startup-for-brains suit bags love to parrot.

2)
<"We must fail fast"
>"I already did it!"

3)
<"We must have a long tail of offerings"
>"Can we offer focus on our core strengths?"

-3)
<"We must focus on our core strengths"
>"Isn't our core strength 'having a long tail of offerings'?"

4)
<"We must use agile methods"
>"An agile habit does not make an agile monk."

5)
<"We must be flexible and adapt"
>"Is it a law or more of a rule of thumb?"

6)
<"We must avoid bureaucracy"
>"Can I have that in writing?"

I’m sooo excited when any new frontend JS framework is available. Angular, React, more recently Vue, Svelte. Bring ‘em on. I wanna try them all.

Just kidding…
As long as the tools at hand allow me to get the job done, keep clients and end users happy, I don’t give a fuck.
This meme is actually the epitome of what I hate with a lot of web developers I’ve encountered

I have, once again, figured out why I keep dropping C as a language. The answer is because the errors are incredibly unhelpful and actively want to implode your brain.

Examples currently being spat out by gcc for my driver:

`error: conflicting types for ‘block_read’; have ‘ssize_t(struct file *, char *, size_t, loff_t *)’ {aka ‘int(struct file *, char *, unsigned int, long long int *)’}`
`note: previous declaration of ‘block_read’ with type ‘ssize_t(struct file *, char *, size_t, loff_t *)’ {aka ‘int(struct file *, char *, unsigned int, long long int *)’}`

`error: initialization of ‘ssize_t (*)(struct file *, char *, size_t, loff_t *)’ {aka ‘int (*)(struct file *, char *, unsigned int, long long int *)’} from incompatible pointer type ‘ssize_t (*)(struct file *, char *, size_t, loff_t *)’ {aka ‘int (*)(struct file *, char *, unsigned int, long long int *)’}`

Go character by character for those types as listed, and tell me where they differ, because I can't find it.

My stupid body sweats when it's cold and doesn't when it's hot. I sleep in a long oversize sweatshirt. But during the day, it's the opposite, except for my fucking feet, this is why during the summer I wear t-shirt and stuff but with heavy winter socks.

Can you suggest a patch for that?

How has weed affected your ability to code short term and long term? And is there anyone who codes while high? What about CBD?

I fucking love the hypocrisy about even the smallest is considered a monopoly and can be fined.

But its totally the opposite when it comes to patents, i swear you can have the stupidest patents on dumbest things. Also that fact it seems like you can get a patent on just a way to implement that idea or techonology even you you had nothing to with inventing it.

I know in some cases and fields patents would be needed. But hell no in techonology, its even more ridiculous to thinking about you can have pantent on standards.

Remember being anti-competive (in diffrent ways though) is good so long you pay for it.

3 weeks ago
Client: when can we go in production, we want x and y
Boss: 13/12

Absolute Silence

Today 8/12
Boss: how long will it take for bringing this in production on 13/12?
Me: I'll do my best to get it ready on time
Boss: Why will it take 2 workdays?
Me: because client asks x and y
Boss: so?
Me: x and y is not ready
Boss: x and y can' t take two days, it must be ready now
Me: You said 13/12?
Boss: client wants to test before production
Me: ... 😡

Where did things go wrong here?

I know I'm not gonna work somewhere for long when they make a typo in my fucking email address

godddd you know this all would have resolved itself a lonnng ass time ago. a LONG time ago. if punishment would just come to these idiots.

....death to React

Long Live Svelte!

How long has GitHub been rendering Jupyter notebook files? That's slick.

StackOverflow gatekeepers: "Voting is already communicating." Maybe it is, but in such a minimal way like an error message saying "an error occurred". Sadly this is current UX as well as long as nerds are in charge. Sometimes I feel ashamed to be a developer. Are we human or robots?

I can build my .aab, upload it, have it approved, and release it on Google Play before my stupid .apk IS EVEN DONE PROCESSING ON APP STORE CONNECT

WHAT ARE YOU DOING APPLE FIX YOUR STUPID S3 BUCKET OR WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING WITH THE BUILD THAT IT TAKES SO LONG TO EVEN GET IT IN TESTFLIGHT AAAAAAAAAA