Linux doesn't need viruses people fuck that shit up themselves

HTML: Hate This Meaningless Life
CSS: Can't Style Shit
JS: Just Shit
Java: Just another vicious asshole
PHP: PHP Hates People
Go: (the "fuck yourself" is silent)
.NET: Now Everybody Thinks (they can code)

I really should find a more productive thing to do on my breaks.

Don't ever try writing code on a long flight. People LOSE THEIR SHIT.

only elon musk is smart enough to realize there are smart people out there who can get shit done without a goddamn fcking degree

How to confuse the shit out of people

I fucking hate people,

I provide a free service for people, and some decide it is a great idea to abuse the shit out of it.
Fuck you

wife: why don't you react to things I say (she means why don't I go crazy when she says crazy shit)
me in my head: after 7 years in IT I have learned not to react when people above you say crazy shit.

When people say: "All you do is sit in front of your PC doing stuff. Get a life"
Me: This is my life!

You know what I hate? When people don't listen to me.
You know what I love? When shit blows up in their faces because they didn't listen to me

I'm creating a website and I'm thinking: Wow, I use html, css, javacript and python, I'm awesome! Then I see what other people know: shit, I'm not awesome...
Programmer: the more you know, the more modest you become...

OCD people losing their shit in 3, 2, 1...

Gave a talk in front of 150 people today. For first 5 seconds my brain was like wtf, fml
Managed to not shit myself for next 30 mins
Fuck! Should stay introvert

This is the shit I have to deal with in school. Teacher told us to review each others code. This is one of the gems i found so far. Some people just wants to see the world burn...

Apple at WWDC 2018.

"Now we added this all new feature!"

"Gallery view on finder"

Sheeps: YAAAAAAAAY

Wait! Whaaaaat! This shit was back there in Windows XP. People, this is Filmstrip view!!! 😂😂😂

Why the fuck do people do shit like this?
Fucking dumb people 😟😟

I'm so fucking tired of all these "teach kids to code" and "everyone can code" shit.

It's genuinely not for everyone. Some people are not meant to code, so stop trying to force it down everyone's throat because we're going to end up with a lot of people doing it because of a nice job and shit, not because they want to.

I get many of these programs and shit are to expose people to it and all, but fucking hell stop trying to make everyone fucking programmers

Sometimes when I meet new people and they ask "What is your job?" I want to answer "I'm a plumber" 😄

Because I'm so sick of reinstalling Windows on people's laptop's and other shit like that 😔

Finnaly a place to complain about developer shit and have people actually understand :-D

rant;

WHY DO PEOPLE DELETE STACKOVERFLOW QUESTIONS WHERE I AWNSERED THEM IN DETAIL WHAT TO DO AND WHY IT BEHAVES IN THE WAY IT DOES. THIS SHIT JUST WASTED MY TIME AND DOES NOT BENEFIT ANY USER WITH A SIMILAR ISSUE. THESE FUCKERS NEED TO GET THEIR EGOMANIAC SHIT TOGETHER IT IS NOT ALL ABOUT THEM AND STACKOVERFLOW IS NOT A FUCKING FREE OUTSOURCING COMPANY.

tl;dr don't awnser people on stackoverflow if they don't mark their past questions as awnered. It is a waste of time.

Where dafuq is the tabs or spaces?!?!?

They are trying to teach people to code... But they don't use any tabs or spaces in their examples. Wtf. You are breeding shit coders.

Reading programmer stuff on reddit:

"C# onlY woRkZ on MicRoSoft aNd m0n0 suCks"

Someone else:

"Dude, .net core has been out for a while what are you talking about?"

Them:

"OMg I diDNt Kn0W thaT!!"

Really guys?? Its been out forfuckingEver....

this is the thing. People talk shit, spread misinformation, and just looo amazingly ignorant without trying to figure shit out properly first.

So, some time ago, I was working for a complete puckered anus of a cosmetics company on their ecommerce product. Won't name names, but they're shitty and known for MLM. If you're clever, go you ;)

Anyways, over the course of years they brought in a competent firm to implement their service layer. I'd even worked with them in the past and it was designed to handle a frankly ridiculous-scale load. After they got the 1.0 released, the manager was replaced with some absolutely talentless, chauvinist cuntrag from a phone company that is well known for having 99% indian devs and not being able to heard now. He of course brought in his number two, worked on making life miserable and running everyone on the team off; inside of a year the entire team was ex-said-phone-company.

Watching the decay of this product was a sheer joy. They cratered the database numerous times during peak-load periods, caused $20M in redis-cluster cost overrun, ended up submitting hundreds of erroneous and duplicate orders, and mailed almost $40K worth of product to a random guy in outer mongolia who is , we can only hope, now enjoying his new life as an instagram influencer. They even terminally broke the automatic metadata, and hired THIRTY PEOPLE to sit there and do nothing but edit swagger. And it was still both wrong and unusable.

Over the course of two years, I ended up rewriting large portions of their infra surrounding the centralized service cancer to do things like, "implement security," as well as cut memory usage and runtimes down by quite literally 100x in the worst cases.

It was during this time I discovered a rather critical flaw. This is the story of what, how and how can you fucking even be that stupid. The issue relates to users and their reports and their ability to order.

I first found this issue looking at some erroneous data for a low value order and went, "There's no fucking way, they're fucking stupid, but this is borderline criminal." It was easy to miss, but someone in a top down reporting chain had submitted an order for someone else in a different org. Shouldn't be possible, but here was that order staring me in the face.

So I set to work seeing if we'd pwned ourselves as an org. I spend a few hours poring over logs from the log service and dynatrace trying to recreate what happened. I first tested to see if I could get a user, not something that was usually done because auth identity was pervasive. I discover the users are INCREMENTAL int values they used for ids in the database when requesting from the API, so naturally I have a full list of users and their title and relative position, as well as reports and descendants in about 10 minutes.

I try the happy path of setting values for random, known payment methods and org structures similar to the impossible order, and submitting as a normal user, no dice. Several more tries and I'm confident this isn't the vector.

Exhausting that option, I look at the protocol for a type of order in the system that allowed higher level people to impersonate people below them and use their own payment info for descendant report orders. I see that all of the data for this transaction is stored in a cookie. Few tests later, I discover the UI has no forgery checks, hashing, etc, and just fucking trusts whatever is present in that cookie.

An hour of tweaking later, I'm impersonating a director as a bottom rung employee. Score. So I fill a cart with a bunch of test items and proceed to checkout. There, in all its glory are the director's payment options. I select one and am presented with:

"please reenter card number to validate."

Bupkiss. Dead end.

OR SO YOU WOULD THINK.

One unimportant detail I noticed during my log investigations that the shit slinging GUI monkeys who butchered the system didn't was, on a failed attempt to submit payment in the DB, the logs were filled with messages like:

"Failed to submit order for [userid] with credit card id [id], number [FULL CREDIT CARD NUMBER]"

One submit click later and the user's credit card number drops into lnav like a gatcha prize. I dutifully rerun the checkout and got an email send notification in the logs for successful transfer to fulfillment. Order placed. Some continued experimentation later and the truth is evident:

With an authenticated user or any privilege, you could place any order, as anyone, using anyon's payment methods and have it sent anywhere.

So naturally, I pack the crucifixion-worthy body of evidence up and walk it into the IT director's office. I show him the defect, and he turns sheet fucking white. He knows there's no recovering from it, and there's no way his shitstick service team can handle fixing it. Somewhere in his tiny little grinchly manager's heart he knew they'd caused it, and he was to blame for being a shit captain to the SS Failboat. He replies quietly, "You will never speak of this to anyone, fix this discretely." Straight up hitler's bunker meme rage.

Coworker on the phone:
"There. There's the bus. Right over there. The bus full of people who give a shit.

What? You don't see it?

How *odd*.. "

Typical day at work with people who knows a shit about computers

When you do some cool shit at work but exactly zero people outside of it will understand

Hands up, who actually uses this shit?

Seriously, this is one of the most innovative apps I've used in the past year. The developer must be having fun torturing hundreds of people every day. But fuck this shit, it works (and most alarm clocks didn't work for me)

I hate when people give me shit for using a Mac. You can use whatever you prefer, let me use what I like.

Pet peeves as a programmer and ex hobbyist hacker:

1. People who press F12, change a colour and consider themself a hacker or/and programmer.

2. People who pick up someone's phone, guess their passcode and post shit saying 'hacked' at the end.

These people can kindly fuck off to the hellish dimension they came 👌

It really irritates me when people don't use gitignore and just push any shit.

Oh god, my first proper rant...

Ok, I am finally fucking sick of all these people shit talking game engines because some people make shitty games with them.

What does it matter what game engine someone uses, unreal engine, game maker, unity, it doesn't matter what you use.

If you think an engine is shit, make your own engine from scratch with all your code, Jesus Christ people -.-

Man I really need to get this off my chest. So here goes.
I just finished 1 year in corporate after college. When I joined, the team I got was brilliant, more than what I thought I would get. About 6 months in, the project manager and lead dev left the company. Two replacements took their place, and life's been hell ever since.

The new PM decided it was his responsibility to be our spokesperson and started talking to our overseas manager (call her GM) on our behalf, even in the meetings where we were present, putting words in our mouth so that he's excellent and we get a bad rep.

1 month in, GM came to visit our location for a week. She was initially very friendly towards all of us. About halfway through the week, I realized that she had basically antagonized the entire old team members. Our responsibilities got redistributed and the work I was set to do was assigned to the new dev (call her NR).

Since then, I noticed GM started giving me the most difficult tasks and then criticizing my work extra hard, and the work NR was doing was praised no matter what. I didn't pay much attention to it at first, but lately the truth hit me hard. I found out a fault in NR's code and both PM and GM started saying that because I found it, it was my responsibility to fix it. I went through the buggy code for hours and fixed it. (NR didn't know how it worked, because she had it written by the lead dev and told everyone she wrote it).

I found out lately that NR and PM got the most hike, because they apparently "learnt" new tech (both of them got their work done by others and hogged the credit).They are the first in line to go onsite because they've been doing 'management work'. They'd complained to GM during her visit that we were not friendly towards them. And from that point on if anything went wrong, it would be my fault, because my component found it out (I should mention that my component mostly deals with the backend logic, so its pretty adept at finding code leaks).

What broke my patience is the fact that lately I worked my ass off to deliver some of the best code I'd written, but my GM said in front of the entire team that at this point "I'm just wasting money". She's been making a bad example out of me for some time, but this one took the cake. I had just delivered a promising result in a task in 1 week that couldn't be done by my PM in 4 weeks, and guess what? "It's not good enough". No thank you, no appreciation, nothing. Finally, I decided I'd had enough of it and started just doing tasks as I could. I'd do what they ask, but won't go above and beyond my way to make it perfect.

My PM realized this and then started pushing me harder. Two days back, I sent a mail to the team with GM in cc exposing a flaw in the code he had written, and no one bothered to reply (the issue was critical). When I asked him about it, he said "How can you expect me to reply so soon when it's already been told that when anything happens we should first resolve within the team and then add GM in the loop?" I realized it was indeed discussed, but the issue was extremely urgent, so I had asked everyone involved, and it portrayed him in a bad light. I could've fixed it, but I didn't because on the off chance if it broke something, they'd start telling me that I broke the tool, how its my fault and how its a critical issue I have to fix ASAP, etc. etc., you get the idea.

Can anyone give me some advice of how to deal with this kind of situation? I would have left but with this pandemic going on, market being scarce and the fact that I'm only experienced by 1 year, I don't think I qualify for a job switch just now.

"ThE FIrsT ThiNg a Pr0GraMmer saYs whEn hE iZ b0Rn iZ HELlo w0Rld"

Damn, that is

So
Fucking
Funny

I wonder. Do the people that find this shit amusing are just discovering what programming is? Shit is so fucking cringey man.

I want to vomit everytime rich people in upper management says stupid shit like "working for money in this company is a sin. Work for higher reason"

Hello, if only I get paid as much as you earn just by talking random nonsense in every meeting, I would be glad sharing the same shit quote like that to other employees in the company.

I honestly don't understand why some developers like to shit on other's preferences.

Don't like PHP? Fine, but don't give shit to somebody else for liking it or coding in it.

Not a fan of Javascript? That's cool, but do realize that there are people who enjoy coding with it and don't appreciate you talking shit about their preferences.

Don't like a certain framework? That's okay, but again, there are people who code with it so don't tell them that they shouldn't.

MFW people keep starring my shit college project on github.

Just heard a sales girl in IT store telling a customer that some screen has much better "smoothing of sharpness". OMG

So, Twitter fired the entire Indian team (or almost, Im not so sure) and one person posted on LinkedIn that went like, "If you've been laid off, just learn something new and Upskill yourself."

Like yeah, no shit Sherlock.

I imagine this is the same kind of people who tell depressed people, "Oh, you're depressed? Just Cheer Up!"

People complaining about Microsoft pushing MS-Edge are clearly not using the YouTube mobile app, this shit pushes their premium shit and YouTube music every fucking day. MS you get ONE pop up when you change default browser and they are done! Also Google products one concurrent browsers ? You get that nice yellow message telling you you're not using chrome but people just like to tell shit about MS like it's the national sport or something well fuck you and fuck Google

A list of Stux's !dev pet peeves.

1) Slow walking (elderly or visibly injured dont count most of the time) people in busy grocery stores. Like please move. I've got shit to do.
2) Thot bots on Instagram.
3) people who leave 2 or 3 car links between them and the car in front of them at a stoplight. I'm not saying you need to be touching their vehicle, but move closer damn.
4) People that say shit like "if you believe x, then unfollow me." Grow up and get over yourself. People are allowed opinions you asshat.

My name is Stuxnet and thank you for attending my TED talk.

I created an app that would let people in software development and general I.T related fields to bitch about shit and just rant about stuff.

But two glorious assholes stole it from me. So no startup.

When you're trying to support a legacy product and you come across this goldmine. Stupid shit like this is the reason I want to murder people

(Read the order of the parameters)

Random profesional behavior reminder:

The fact that you're obviously from a minority doesn't automatically make you non-racist. Specially, it doesn't give you immunity for being racist towards other minorities.

Just saying! Be racist outside of office hours, if you can. Or just... Keep that shit to yourself. 💩

Why are we still having degree vs autodidact arguments/debates?

It's fucking 2018, who gives a flying fuck how you learn?

Stop giving a shit about how people learn and give a shit about their abilities and skills.

I'm tired of people from both sides (people with degrees and autodidacts) acting like they're better than the other. Stop being arrogant cunts.

Some people have the self control and motivation to teach themselves.

Congratulations! That's fucking awesome.

Others don't and could use a structured environment like University to motivate and encourage them.

Hey it happens. At least you're trying.

My god. Just stop with this shit already. It's annoying and unnecessary.

If you made it this far, how's your week been going?

The quality of my code and how often people reuse may be directly correlated to how shit it is.

Tried javascript coming from Java and C++, i know not a lot of people agree with me but holy fucking shit i hate non-typed variables they introduce so much ambiguity it drives me insane!!!

Why do we backend people have to be born handicapped for creating anything that doesn't look like absolute shit.

I'm trying to pick a primary color for my landing page for about three days now and I'm starting to lose my shit.

Can we all just start using fucking CLI apps and be done with the whole design thing.

Whenever I'm trying new tech at work I don't keep interrupting people ta help me with error messages because ITS A FUCKING NEW TECH AND NO ONE WORKS WITH THAT SHIT!

WHY THE FUCK YOU KEEP ASKING ME FOR HELP WITH YOUR FUCKED UP NODE SHIT AFTER I TOLD YOU THAT I DON'T LIKE IT? STOP IT!

A new online store for custom PC has opened in Switzerland.

For overclocking they want CHF 10 (around 9.50 $) more for every MHz.

I know that some people gonna buy this shit and pay for that. If that people knew that you only need to access BIOS/After Burner for it 😂😂😂😂

#BestSpendMoney

Can people just fucking stop using "hacked" as a synonym for "my password has been found out"? Even devs do this shit! Devs should know better about what a "hacked" account is.

This sort of shit really pisses me off, yes PC has a higher market share, but I had to comment. Mobile gaming dwarfs PC so should we even bother with PC?

And people are agreeing with his point, it's fucking stupid, people should be able to enjoy something no matter what platform, linux, Mac, windows or anything else...

Fuck heads...

!dev

Sucks how the society pressures people into to stupid, irrational shit.

For the last time, I DO NOT WANT TO HOP THE BANDWAGON.

while(1) {
head.bang(table);
}

Got a complaint from users of my project. It’s finally happened: people give a shit to tell me I’m doing a bad job. Let’s fucking gooooo

I swear...in enterprise...doing things right is almost pointless. First off they punish you for it by insisting you use shitty outdated libraries and resources, making every request painful and a week long, and telling you "don't use any design patterns or good practices because the over seas third party people we hired won't understand it".

And ultimately those third party people are going to get a hold of your code and turn it to shit. So really...other than having pride and standards...just pile more shit on top of the other shit because it will all be shit soon enough.

!rant
Damn github is da shit.
I'm sure all of those people who ranted about committing their passwords and keys will be happy
PS. I don't know if this is new but I'm happy either way :D

Shit that annoys me: People use the store (insert google play/apple/other) rating with one star to ask questions instead of fucking filling the stupid contact form or send an email to tech support.

I like how (almost) everybody is positive about the layout/design change here, whenever any site changes even the slightest all my non-tech-friends lose their shit because normal people can't handle change.

I think we need a separate Internet where you get a fucking lifetime ban for mentioning chatgpt. It's like NFT thing but worse. People have verbal diarrhea. IT WRITES SHIT CODE, WE GET IT, SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY

devrant made me realise there are people out there that go through the same daily shit I do.

Thank-you devrant

On call just started at 2100 last night. Phone rang at 0230. Going to be a long rotation.

Similar call from a few weeks ago that took 13 hours to resolve. Oh boy.

DevRant is a more aggressive Dev Twitter where people can post shit without getting cancelled.

> Best part about working from home?

"People don't give me as much shit for having a wank during standups" - not me, but I wish it was

Hey im gonna take pip and shove it up my fucking asshole along with the people who made that piece of shit (:

Me on drugs at work: *focus as fck*
Me at work: shit, what the hell people around me talking about

Damn i love herb

Oh for fucks sake on a horse raping twat of a week.

It’s like everything that could go wrong did go wrong, from people fucking up, to orders being fucked up in multiple systems to me wanting to break someone’s fucking nose for being a complete dumb fuck. Seriously how do people that do a job, day in and day out go completely fucking brain dead and fuck things up beyond fucking repair over hundreds of orders.

Sorry but FUCK this shit, it can wait till fucking Monday you cunt rash of a shit.

unpopular opinion: javascript has broken standards, and nobody corrects it. people use these frameworks and shit with 600 dependencies, then can't figure out how to update their application when things go out of date. now people are expecting you to use NPM to make a - - > static <- - website

It is kinda sad to see some software that looks quite promising, and when I check how-to-deploy crap it is only;
"Copy and paste this shit to make it work"

People are not learning anything.

sometimes we try to make things better and realize people just want the same old non functional bloated shit...

It will never stop happening... people who don't know shit about code, assuming some conclusion and giving their opinions on software.

I fucking HATE when people tell me:
"Oh you are using Unity? What kind of dumb shit uses Unity! Isnt its only purpose to make shovelware and shit?!"
THIS MAKES ME FURIOS AT MOST POINTS! AND I WANT TO PUNCH THOSE DIPWIT COCKS WHO ALWAYS THINK ANYTHING OTHER THAN UNITY IS GOOD, IN THE FUCKING FACE! TWICE!
unity isnt just for SHOVELWARE and CHEAP SHITGAMES, it has some really good potential when in the RIGHT FUCKING HANDS!! FOR FUCK SAKE!
(If you want an example look up dronethegame.com currently in crowdfunding) FUCK THESE PEOPLE...

FUCK

Worst part about the people I know IRL knowing I’m a white hat Hacker - “Hey, so and so was taking shit I need you to hack their Facebook.”

*rolls eyes* I’m not your personal keyboard warrior nor do I give a shit who said what. Take care of it yourself. You’re an adult.

Incompetence of people around me drives me mad. I see a piece of shit code and I can’t stop myself from improving it.
Also better developers around me. I need to find out how they’re better and beat them

For all those people with some great app ideas , visit play store just to find out other 69 fucking similar apps for the same shit you've been pitching me for the past hour.

A people person is only a people person to another people person. I fucking hate them. Most sales people I see don’t really have any skills per say. They think they do by claiming to be a people person. The entire sales community is like this. Fake as shit. They pay thousands to learn something that has been written in Medium or you could just Youtube. I think I can pretty much get the fact if you wanna make a video do well, you need a good title. They speak everything on the surface. And they claim to a be a layperson. Well, no. Fuck you. I not giving you an average. You are stupid as shit. They can’t write a proper fucking email. I have to go through kubernates and monads and they still make more money than devs via commission. They are too sober and fucking pretentious too. Fuck em fuck em fuck em.

People like to shit on Java when it really wouldn't be so bad if Eclipse wasn't the 'default' Java IDE.

Seriously: Eclipse is garbage.

Jesus Christ Almighty fucking Instagram is a real shit show lately.

So many fucking bots. The porn bots than spam comments and DMs, the bots people tag in comments that get you a lot of likes and then just people that use bots to comment on posts.

Like fucking hell bruh can y'all fix your shit?

I can't consider myself as a programmer anymore. All I do at work is debug the shit other people produce. It might have been more than a month since I implemented a feature.

I shit you not people! This advertisement is for an internship, from LinkedIn!

!dev

The more I interact with people on Reddit, the more I realise that the world needs a new plague.

People ranting about xcode, how about stop using Mac and apple products there all dog shit. Or just use another IDE or editor problem solved.

What is wrong with people. I put in hours of my time every day and it hurts to see some annonymous person complaining shit about something that doesn't even exist.
😤😤

When people think you're addicted to gaming, but you're just really keen on developing that next feature. People just don't understand the underappreciated life of an add-on developer. We're shit on by the game developer, and users alike.

People distressed the fuck out of me today.

So now, 2:18 in the morning, I'm in bed, wide awake. Because anxiety is shit.

... And I have to be up early to do the work that I didn't do today.

Smh...

Why do people have to be such dicks?

Know your shit people!

just remembered watching a video where a little shit wannabe programmer was interviewed by another shit wannabe it professional "hacker" and the first shit claimed he designed a new language that is better with a compiler 10 times faster and better than gcc when he demonstrated his language it was nothing but a header file with couple of define statements for different C function.
and this dude was in the news and was glorified by people and shit
#justturdworldstuff

I'm glad i left "my" country

I like coding in a way that anyonr who comes into my code base can understand whats going on. That way more people can maintain the code base.

However, I HATE having people in my code base. Since they leave shit undocumented, and have 10 variables called "data" "items" "o" "p" and another 20 methods called "processData" "convertItem".

There is special place in hell for those people who don't comment their shit code.

i got my account perma-locked on twitter over a joke the other day and the only presented option was to delete my account. Apparently you talk about cool shit all day and 2 people see it, but you make a joke about a bad neighborhood and 700 people flag literally every tweet and reply you've ever made.

Ok, Why tha Fuck does everyone bitch about javascript, like seriously why?
Its a damn great language and i have fun working with it. sure some people prefer other languages but it seems people who haven't even tried JS properly talk shit about it.

!dev

What kind of a motherfucking city is this! (Mumbai) Every fucking road has a shit ton of traffic and no one gives a shit about people walking nearby. An asshole drove over my foot while I was crossing the road, motherfucker. Traffic signals not working, no traffic constables to see anything. And people talk and keep telling this is the spirit of Mumbai. Shitty infrastructure is the spirit of Mumbai. Fuck everyone!

There's this one lead dev in our dpt who keeps posting pictures to our company's Teams 'general' channel with shit in the toilet after someone forgot to either flush or use the brush.
Caption usualy says "I don't mean to cause nausea to anyone, but we are all adults here and should know how to flush / use the toilet brush".

Does every company have this guy or are we the chosen ones?

I want to start a community of advanced cli devs, but, idk.

Y'know, a bunch of people who make shit like spotify-cli, devrant-cli, pornhub-cli, the sort.

Now I feel bad for calling myself a programmer as a highschooler after seeing so many people shitting on the younger people. Goddammit I picked up programming because I thought it was cool and fun not because I want money or shit. I'm not the retard kiddies that overstate my ability. I like coding, I just like coding.

Now I wanna quit.

Some people write unreadable horse shit pretending to be code it even puzzles the computer.

It’s so fucking ridiculous that business people that knows jack shit about programming are the ones that promise features within a specific impossible deadlines to the customers

how about that Linux coming to Windows business? i know normal people couldn't give a shit. what about you guys? +1 if you think it's awesome, comment why if you think it's bad.

Fuck how people are excited about experiencing the same shit every year

I want to propose a toast for al the people who is right now sitting on a shitty meeting listening to shit that has nothing to do with their job

I don't wanna hear anyone dismissing college education, specially from people that can't do asymptotic analysis and have no clue what a pointer is. It's not fine. What do you think people spend 4+ years studying for? For this shit? There's a reason why a diploma has a weight, it's not just decoration.

I get it that the american educational system is fucked up and you guys have to pay a shit ton of money for it, but you can't just pretend it's worth nothing.

How diminishing it is to hear people shit on a life long struggle to get where i am today. I had to study a ton to get into college, and I'm still pouring my blood and mental health into my studies, only for some random to say that a youtube tutorial is worth the same.

i wish i could half-ass work, but instead I'm a huge nerd who does a good job and people are giving me more shit to do now

Why do people feel so compelled to create their own custom components when the component library you're already using HAS ONE ALREADY?!

You can change the styling and animations using CSS and props. Stop building buggy shit from scratch.

These mfers writing blog posts about basic shit are always the ones to drop gifs of people having their mind blown.

How fucking simple can you get?

People say, "Yarn is faster", blah blah blah and so on. So, I thought, I should give it a try. So, I tried and Holy Fucking SHIT! It took almost half an hour to download the dependencies! :|

What I learned from devrant:
There is someone, somewhere, that will upvote the stupidest shit.

Which I find both terrifying and humorous. This is not a criticism nor a putdown. I find people fascinating. I also realize that my definition of "stupidest shit" is very subjective. This is definitely the most "fun" forum I have been on in a long time.

I kinda feel like people trying to call Facebook "Meta" is just as awkward as people trying to use correct pronouns when a person announces that now their pronouns changed.

A person, however, deserves to be understood.

Meanwhile, Meta is just Facebook. A new name won't solve that shit pile of ethical problems and sketchy business practices that just keeps growing.

I swear to God there is a special place in hell for people that ask for updates on shit when they are not even paying.

And this shit is supposed to inspire people into coding? Dear God!

Some people don't know shit about blockchain but behave as if they know everything. 😂😂

Razer, Corsair, Das Keyboard, all ignore ISO 9995, and it drives me fucking nuts! The fucking backslash goes UNDER the fucking pipe!
This shit will fuck people up.

It's oddly satisfying to see other devs rant about the shit they go through. And yet, I can't deal with the shit that people rant on non-dev related on Facebook.

I'm shit tired of dealing with people. Especially on online. I wish I can live a life without internet.

I try not to be toxic on Social Networks (except dR) but man, some of the shit people post..

When a marketing / sales person says in a meeting with executives that our current infrastructure can handle 300.000 new customers easily. (We're at 90 ATM).

Mfw I'm the techie in the room and aware of our non-scaling mysql DB.

Talking in buzz words is just a substitute for wanking, but without actually creeping the shit out of people by pulling out your wank organs.

Why apple is a peice of shit..? Why even people love it.. It makes apple to grow more.. Although they don't deserve it.. They don't deserve the trillion dollars.. Why don't they fuck them self..
In a year they release a peice of shit and people are like applauding on it.
Are you fucking serious people?
The people who called as "apple fanboy" please go fuck yourself.. Tell me one reason to love apple..
I am not talking about the price issue. I am talking about they think that they are the best.. But no they are not. They are a bunch of asshole who are working to make money.. They don't need to respect.

Apple Sucks!

Fucking tutorials that simply skip thing completely.

Like how the fuck am I supposed to know how to run that that shit when you don't even mention how to build it and jump straight to the fucking debugging section.

Fucking hell, relate yourself to the people who'll read your shit, you non empathetic scum

I'd just like to say that people who enjoy shit like this probably match the laugh track while watching The Big Bang Theory.

I don't understand how you see so many people talking shit about php and when you click their profile they are php developers

I have 3 different people trying to say that their last minute shit is priority. I have a headache, they put a meeting during my lunch hour. Fuck today.

You know how companies pay people to scan your Twitter for anything "problematic"?

Can I get the same shit run on them before I follow them for tech stuff and they start posting political bullshit?

You know your company is in shit when the only products that their customers are using are all written by people who has since left the company.

I guess the first ones to leave are the best developers.

Been on a Android dev meetup yesterday.
Guy in front of me started solving exercises of Graph Theory on his laptop.
I took a peek to see what this shit is all about(I have never studied for a CS degree).

Holy moley this is some scary shit. How the fuck you people study this.

WTF C++?! I liked you, I defended you, I told people about you. Then you go and do shit like this:

int main(int argc, char* argv[])
to
auto main(int argc, char* argv[])->int

Seriously C++ WTF?!

"Don't fall for the hype. A lot of ideas, groups and methodologies are basically cults trying to advertise their consulting services. While I have no problem with that, just remember that when you run into one of these guys and they are quick to shit on the alternatives to their way (and those who built them) to always be very suspicious."

Context:

We had the opportunity to meet 2 very bright people who were heads of their respective communities in a similar area. They were both talking a lot of shit, and getting kinda harsh.

A brilliant dev I worked with, who knew both people for years, took me aside and told me this.

Some cults have cool shit, just don't drink the kool-aid

Just css'd the shit outta this Web app... by css I mean aggressively copied people on codepen til I patched together my idea of design

Devrant is getting more boring day by day. Everytime the same shit. Some people see things that are already rated, and just rerant it. Boring.

So if anyone has visited slant.co they will know the website is overrun with this shit...

What the flying fuck is wrong with these people?

When your Boss openly refers to projects as Micro-sites to the client, devaluing the scope of work, and being completely unaware of the actual scope of work, which is essentially a twitch platform, to be built on wordpress, with integration to Power Point Dock, and a live chat queue

When two people who don't know shit about computers start trying to troubleshoot each others' problems

So, a spaghetti legacy code, written by some dude that obviously hates his job, needs update and we argue about spaces vs tabs....

Learning JS in 2018 is like asking programming advice from sales people. What the fuck is going on man? Halfway through trying to convince the company to use all these new shits, I felt stupid as shit.

You know what really grinds my gears?

Executive bathrooms. They get gold and marble and all kinds of fancy shit and the rest of us get a linoleum shit box. Who do they think they are? Are they too good to shit and piss with their developers. You know...the people who make the shit that makes them money?

Executives are just overpaid suits who do next to nothing while the rest of us carry their fat asses across the finish line and they are too good to take a shit with us common folk.

Tired of older generation developers teaching people not to use the back button. Make your application not garbage and let the people use the browser as intended for shit sake.

People who dont know shit about technology and dont know how much work is required to make a product are commenting on how software should be made. (Pure management background people not even senior level).
- PS. Im fine with management people with tech background.

How to mess with Github Copilot:
1. create open source repo with MIT license
2. create generic functions that solve specific problems
3. put violent, racist, sexist, phobic, political, etc phrases in the code
4. get other people to fork the repo and make their own versions
5. watch as people get upset over copilot being evil and putting shit into their code

Jeez I am so bored of this shit life, people are fucking rude and mean. I am wasting so much time waiting for people or things to happens, I spend my free time trying to solve shitty problems and waiting for updates to end.

why is it always Indians or people from Spanish speaking countries shit posting memes?

People on election day: "OMG a subset of the machines are not working!!"

People who work in IT every single day: "lol no shit."

Feature to spam people everywhere. A frigging set of apis where you can spam sms to people based on their habits. I am sorry for this shit. Even I'm not safe from this.

I've seen a bunch of people criticizing the people who repeatedly criticize/hate windows.

Lemme stop you right there.

Now, hating on something just because it IS that something is stupid, I'll grant you that much. But when windows does stupid shit, I am going to complain about said stupid shit.

Deal with it.

Getting real tired of people posting meetings only for you to join when they end. How hard is it to have you meeting at the time you set it for? Holy shit!

I Fucking hate people!!!!!

Im not a nazi but i hate people.!

I hate every one! White， blqck， yellow， beige， purple and dont get me started on the orange ones!!!

I hate people woth physical disabilities， i hate people with mental disabilities， hell i hate people who hate disabilities.

I hate people.

I hate people who are isually good but only occasionnaly bad， i hate people who are bad， i also hate people who are nice bur dont know shit about coding.

I hate emos as well even if i sound like one.

I juse hate people and for that i hate myself....

Makes me want to listent to tayler swift no shit.

I dislike ignorant pricks that insult others while being wrong.

I dislile people that feel the need to insult others based on their choices or prefferences for products, music and stuff like that.

I dislike people that are so blatantly arrogant that they refuse to acknowledge being wrong because of some weird made up status in their head (i.e i have a phd...i cannot possibly be wrong)

I really dislike teenagers that think that they know shit. They never do, suprisingly we have many of them here...

I dislike people that find ways to justify being assholes to others.

I also dislike people that hide behind a keyboard.

I dislike people that tend to follow trend opinions: "lolz mac suckz i kan du errthing in LenIXxX" shit like that irrititates me, also the php hate wars, I see people bitching about not having a job or experience in the field because they wont hire them for whatever hipster shit they are not using.......yet they make fun of people with php skills that have been on the industry far longer than what the haters have known how to use a computer....ah and some of them here are also on their teens....

All in all. I hate assholes really. I see many of them in this industry, and even tho I have seen a couple of them in here the great majority of the user base is absolutely amazing.

:) y'all beautiful people have a great weekend!

People hear talking about shit like "*high level stuff* SUCKS. YOU *big tech company* FUCKTARD." And I'm just here trying to graduate without failing a CS course because my teachers want me to mug up the code and not understand it! Needless to say, I don't mug up but it's just so fucking irritating when people in your class are mugging up the code and definitions like it's Redbull and scoring stellar grades. FUCK THIS SHIT!

Who the fuck invented the glorified pile of shit people call laravel? Is this actually used in PROD for anything else than load testing a monitoring server by creating loads of error messages?
OOP exists for a reason, not to create bazillions of classes with static methods.
Dump that shit ffs!

the feeling when people talk shit about ruby and you are 85% in a ruby on rails course :(

I don’t give a shit about boycotting Mulan, I paid to watch this movie

And the movie is shit, so I genuinely ask people to not waste the money to watch it. It’s just so shit and such a waste of my time

Being a junior dev sometimes sucks. People always gotta second guess your work and make you feel like shit. And never apologize when they realize they were wrong. 🤬🤬🤬

What the fuck is wrong with people!?
When I produced somewhaz high quality Videos, Ive gotten like 10-20 views a day...
Now... I made A FUCKING 10H EDIT OF SOME GUY SAYING SHIT AND SHIT AND SHIT... AND I MADE 181 FUCKING VIEWS IN A SINGLE FUCKING DAY!!

FUCK THIS.

Fucking hell WordPress is shit. I don't know how people use it. I had enough with it.

Thomas had never seen such bullshit before (Insert name of that guy, who thinks Apple is hyped, and needs better password resets).

Honestly, when people say Indians are shit devs and write shit code, I could not really relate to that. I am an Indian, and I see pretty well educated, telented devs around.

Now I know why everyone else feels so.

I am sorry for his doings, people like him are the reason everybody hates us

You work in a phone shop.

How would you, as a developer, in your own words describe the "like" function from Facebook to elderly people who ask you what it means - and don't know shit about computers?

Man, i love drivin around @ nite, whole lotta gang shit happen and its so fun to jus sit in a car and watch people gettin popped

If people don't end up putting "Coronavirus Survivor" in their Twitter bio's after this shit is done, I'll be very surprised.

I know a lot of people disagree with modern art, but fuck me, at least we got away from this ugly shit.

Why do people like or even use Discord?

It is the same people behind OpenFeint and Discord - which has some lawsuits against it because the app installed shit on mobile phones without users consents

Worthless people. Goddamnit I've had enough of this shit. If you're not going to contribute, get the fuck off my team and take a job that's more in line with your qualifications.

Today someone took a shit and didn't flush...

Normally you have your typical candidates, who are pissing standing in the stalls although there are free urinals, people who don't wash their hands after pissing or just splash like 3 fingers with water. Even not washing hands after taking a dump, which is pretty disgusting... But today? Some dude in the stall next to me took a shit, wiped his butt... and went away... No flushing no washing hands... Wtf is wrong with people?

How was your day?

Mine wasn't bad. Seems like the project I am working on gets on track, I mean my team (squad) is able to do good things, I really like all the people I have on board. We all are in the same miserable but sometimes funny world.

Shit happens all the time, but at least there are other people we can share the shit with.

Can people stop using Kubernetes and over engineering shit for services which get like, 10 users at most ? Thank you.

I hate CakePHP! it sucks. And most of the people who like this shit are cunts with long hair. They love shoving this garbage framework down your throat as they high five each other.

Why are people praising macbook keyboards is beyond me, this shit terrible, feels like cracking a touchscreen on every press

Been put on debug duty, shit fucking SUCKS ASS.

Demotivating as hell seeing other people implementing cool features while you're doing this stupid shit trying to reproduce bugs that appear in production. Fucking hell.

I didn't realise just how retarded people are when they call tech support.

Working combined line 1/2 tech support and people just describe shit in the most unhelpful way ever.

someone on discord asked me "why do you code for such shit computers? they can't even play games and you can only do one thing at a time, just program for new computers"

because if i'm gonna suffer in the name of curiosity i'm gonna make shit for other people to look at thx

back to suffering from a 1KB RAM limit

why is every auth provider utter and complete shit?

why are docs and tutorials that try to teach auth so complete shit?

No wonder there are so many security holes everywhere, nobody bothers to make it simple for the next person.

Next time people that cry about security/bad auth, and work in that field, this one is for you:

SVN sucks a Lot. Why the fuck people still using this shit instead of git? FML

Other people.

Seriously how you wrote that shit I have to implement/maintain.

So i'm working with people from another team to bring about a feature. I was wondering, "how come they're churning out so much shit in so little time!?"

Apparently, they make code, merge request to the release branch, and then do unit tests later.

How do people, in good conscience, think that they can skip unit testing for extremely vital components???

i swear to GOD i am so fucking productive, happy, full of life, thankful to live, WAY MORE PRODUCTIVE, WAY MORE NORMAL, WAY MORE PHYSICALLY BEAUTIFUL, WAY MORE MENTALLY STABLE, i get WAY MORE SHIT DONE, i appreciate people, i help people, i ACTUALLY BECOME SUCCESSFUL, i am actually WILLING TO LEARN ADVANCED SHIT THAT ARE BEYOND MY UNDERSTANDING *BECAUSE* IT IS SOMETHING I ENJOY TO FUCKIN DO, WAY MORE FUCKIN POSITIVE, WAY MORE FUCKIN SOCIAL, all of this --- when i do NOT fucking study or go to the fucking cuckold college.....

Microsoft for creating typescript, and google for maintaining angular and forcing people to learn typescript before learning dog shit angular

Starting.

Because you build the same boilerplate over and over again.

People recommending me shit I didn't ask for in 3...2...1...

“Your code is so shit I could use it to torture people.“ - Some random kid from my Computer Science class (No, it wasn’t directed to me)

Youtube UX on iPhone. Fucking annoying! In fact google or alphabet have completely disengaged with the user on virtually everything. It's not a game, people have to actually use this shit.

Why did people upgrade to windows 10 its such a piece of shit, sticking to windows 7 then if i feel like i need to on linux it is.

It takes me about 10 minuted to get into social media or any forum in which regular people can post shit and have a voice to wish for a plague or something.

Fuck man....starting to wish for a regulated internet. So much shit everywhere.

People behave so precious and try best to avoid working on other's code.
I'm naive to think that being "developer" entails reading and understanding other's code(a.k.a shit)

License files.

People don't read them.

They are longer than they should be.
Mostly to hide evil shit the developers are doing.

I am now going to start including the complete works of Shakespeare in my license files.

This means it will have evil shit other people have done included in the file. Will most likely make it meaningless. Nobody will read it anyway.

At the very end I will just write: Don't be a dick.

How can I fucking plan a software AFTER I implement it??? People want to shit without eating first....

Just got home to finish daily work and meetings and now there’s an ice cream truck outside playing shit music as loud as possible.

I think I hate people.

Couple of advices from the QA guy

1) Don’t do the bare minimum bc the PM asks that. The people that write up the tasks/requirements don’t know their shit sometimes. Or even worse, they just copy paste what the client asked.
2) Confront the PM and ask more time to build something robust and scalable. When shit don’t work, people will blame the devs which is not fair. Is not easy but put your foot down when you’ve being asked to build shitty stuff bc the client want it ready now.

How the fuck do classes work in Python? Why, exactly, do people make them for themselves? I get doing it for like making modules other people will use, but just for your own shit...?

I don't understand why people are so preoccupied with new languages and scared to try them out. At least half of the language features are a rehash of the same ideas and the other half are 2-3 ideas. Seriously. I find it distasteful that people in my co are so scared of learning new shit. NEED To GTFO.

btw boobies because hair color and because sometimes I speak about myself in feminine gender just to mess with people (and because mentally I am probably a woman even tho physically I look like a man - shit happens)

I am evolving as a Software Enginner by doing the work of the other people around me that don't do shit.

- First company that have female CEO and female CFO
- First female position got that

IS THAT A THING NOW?

and all of those shit are shared by erogant stupid people who claim that they are not gender picky bustards..
just work and let people work without being hypocrite double-faced

This lead is an asshole, I'm the only who gets shit. Even if other people have the same issue.

To me: "The purpose was to have it done now."
To others: "Well, at least you have it mostly done."

Holy fucking shit.
Can people not break my shit mid deploy once, fucking once is all I am asking. 2 weeks of this shit.

S3 down. People also over the world kissing their shit

I just cannot hold myself laughing at the most serious moments in meetings. People say the funnies/stupidest shit and they go unnoticed!

1. Make it so IT teams are only directly managed by people who know their shit about IT
2. Make nvidia opensourxe their linux driver, so we can have some real improvements
3. Make me able to rm -fr people and tasks from the command line.

That I'm responsible enough for people to just entrust shit to me and irresponsible enough to fuck up very important things for very stupid and easily avoidable reasons. Rarely enough to not happen a lot, but serious enough fuck-ups that it can't be considered inconsequential.

And when I tell people not to trust me with shit without supervision they refuse to believe me and think I'm just being self-deprecating. Bitch I'd accidentally let you die if that was a responsibility of mine, I have no brain, only butterflies.

1. Microsoft shit on linux (Visual Studio, WPF and WPF like frameworks)
2. Non-tech people understanding my achievements
3. Dragon (Most likely to happen)

Sometimes people ask me for my Favorite song,
I'll always Awnser,
Middle Finger by CoCoon
Because this song describes my Life...
AND IT DOES IT REALLY FUCKING WELL AND I FUCKING HATE IT THAT SOME GAYFUCKERS ALWAYS ASK ME THIS SHIT OF AN QUESTION! GODDAMIT PEOPLE! LEAVE ME A FUCKING LONE! AND NEVER ASK ME THIS BULLFUCK AGAIN! OK?!

#NoHomo