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I want to make a worm that recognizes when the user is using headphones and occasionally play a silent footstep sound behind them.7
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Sending a well typed professional email to your boss, but receiving a:
Sure thing
Dave
Sent from my iPhone9 -
Being a software developer automatically qualifies you to fix paper jams and wi-fi issues in the eyes of your family.5
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True rant:
A student close to my place ask me to help him install some Software.
Me: Sure this does not take long.
Over to his laptop I noticed this weird popup on screen.
he said: Oh. you just need to click that away. :)
I'm clicking it away and opens up his browser typing in the address bar the search term for the software.
The Laptop quickly copy and paste my search term into a sketchy search website with not correct results..
Then another popup came again on screen.
His response: Oh. you just need to click that away. :)
I'm already internally face palming. but continue my effort to get him his software.
tried different approach on the searching part en trying to click the install button for the software..
and again. my click is high jacketed and it downloads something completely different.
and guess what.. a popup showed up
His response: Oh. you just need to click that away. :)
Stop Molesting your laptop dude! Fix your Shit I'm out!12 -
I like it when a boss is a Dev (or a former Dev). Makes them a bit more sympathetic towards us i think :)2
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/* secret devRant script */
let joke = "why do Java developers wear glasses? Because they can't C#"
//check if rant was posted recently
if ( !recentRants.find(joke) ) {
postRant(joke)
}4 -
I love the skill requirements section of a junior Dev job advertisement.
To summarise "Basically you'll need all the skills and experience of a senior, but we are gonna pay you much much less". 😔1 -
Is it illegal to upload a malware(worm) written in python to GitHub? I'm serious :)
I've written a worm which I want to share with my friends (and possible future viewers). My intent is to share my experience. So that they can learn from it. What they are doing with it afterwards, shouldn't be my problem, I guess. (I will put a disclaimer warning in the Readme file of course)16 -
Okay guys, this is it!
Today was my final day at my current employer. I am on vacation next week, and will return to my previous employer on January the 2nd.
So I am going back to full time C/C++ coding on Linux. My machines will, once again, all have Gentoo Linux on them, while the servers run Debian. (Or Devuan if I can help it.)
----------------------------------------------------------------
So what have I learned in my 15 months stint as a C++ Qt5 developer on Windows 10 using Visual Studio 2017?
1. VS2017 is the best ever.
Although I am a Linux guy, I have owned all Visual C++/Studio versions since Visual C++ 6 (1999) - if only to use for cross-platform projects in a Windows VM.
2. I love Qt5, even on Windows!
And QtDesigner is a far better tool than I thought. On Linux I rarely had to design GUIs, so I was happily surprised.
3. GUI apps are always inferior to CLI.
Whenever a collegue of mine and me had worked on the same parts in the same libraries, and hit the inevitable merge conflict resolving session, we played a game: Who would push first? Him, with TortoiseGit and BeyondCompare? Or me, with MinTTY and kdiff3?
Surprise! I always won! 😁
4. Only shortly into Application Development for Windows with Visual Studio, I started to miss the fun it is to code on Linux for Linux.
No matter how much I like VS2017, I really miss Code::Blocks!
5. Big software suites (2,792 files) are interesting, but I prefer libraries and frameworks to work on.
----------------------------------------------------------------
For future reference, I'll answer a possible question I may have in the future about Windows 10: What did I use to mod/pimp it?
1. 7+ Taskbar Tweaker
https://rammichael.com/7-taskbar-tw...
2. AeroGlass
http://www.glass8.eu/
3. Classic Start (Now: Open-Shell-Menu)
https://github.com/Open-Shell/...
4. f.lux
https://justgetflux.com/
5. ImDisk
https://sourceforge.net/projects/...
6. Kate
Enhanced text editor I like a lot more than notepad++. Aaaand it has a "vim-mode". 👍
https://kate-editor.org/
7. kdiff3
Three way diff viewer, that can resolve most merge conflicts on its own. Its keyboard shortcuts (ctrl-1|2|3 ; ctrl-PgDn) let you fly through your files.
http://kdiff3.sourceforge.net/
8. Link Shell Extensions
Support hard links, symbolic links, junctions and much more right from the explorer via right-click-menu.
http://schinagl.priv.at/nt/...
9. Rainmeter
Neither as beautiful as Conky, nor as easy to configure or flexible. But it does its job.
https://www.rainmeter.net/
10 WinAeroTweaker
https://winaero.com/comment.php/...
Of course this wasn't everything. I also pimped Visual Studio quite heavily. Sam question from my future self: What did I do?
1 AStyle Extension
https://marketplace.visualstudio.com/...
2 Better Comments
Simple patche to make different comment styles look different. Like obsolete ones being showed striked through, or important ones in bold red and such stuff.
https://marketplace.visualstudio.com/...
3 CodeMaid
Open Source AddOn to clean up source code. Supports C#, C++, F#, VB, PHP, PowerShell, R, JSON, XAML, XML, ASP, HTML, CSS, LESS, SCSS, JavaScript and TypeScript.
http://www.codemaid.net/
4 Atomineer Pro Documentation
Alright, it is commercial. But there is not another tool that can keep doxygen style comments updated. Without this, you have to do it by hand.
https://www.atomineerutils.com/
5 Highlight all occurrences of selected word++
Select a word, and all similar get highlighted. VS could do this on its own, but is restricted to keywords.
https://marketplace.visualstudio.com/...
6 Hot Commands for Visual Studio
https://marketplace.visualstudio.com/...
7 Viasfora
This ingenious invention colorizes brackets (aka "Rainbow brackets") and makes their inner space visible on demand. Very useful if you have to deal with complex flows.
https://viasfora.com/
8 VSColorOutput
Come on! 2018 and Visual Studio still outputs monochromatically?
http://mike-ward.net/vscoloroutput/
That's it, folks.
----------------------------------------------------------------
No matter how much fun it will be to do full time Linux C/C++ coding, and reverse engineering of WORM file systems and proprietary containers and databases, the thing I am most looking forward to is quite mundane: I can do what the fuck I want!
Being stuck in a project? No problem, any of my own projects is just a 'git clone' away. (Or fetch/pull more likely... 😜)
Here I am leaving a place where gitlab.com, github.com and sourceforge.net are blocked.
But I will also miss my collegues here. I know it.
Well, part of the game I guess?7 -
When someone comes to your desk and asks "did you get my slack message".... Which they sent 23 seconds ago 😒4
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Giving functions exciting names so you can feel like a Bond villain while programming:
execute(); destroy(); fire(); isDead();6 -
Once again, another weekend I promised myself to start programming projects, only to step through a worm hole and wake up on Monday.
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Dear intern, if you really really have the urge to use fucking spaces for indentation because it let's you feel like being some Google hipster, then PLEASE AT LEAST REMOVE THE SPARE ONES WHEN YOU FUCKING COPY PASTE CODEBLOCKS!!!1!!1111!
I'm perfectly OK if people wanna use spaces if they use it in an OCD-proof manner.
Nah, let's be honest: Spaces are a filthy way to indent stuff. Tabs are in a lot ways superior and if an editor can't render tabs correctly, the editor is a piece of worm puke.2 -
Programming on a train is always interesting. I expect a minimum of one dirty/confused look off a member of the public.2
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This site doesn't load when opened from hacker news and says this. 😂
Link: https://jamie.build/how-to-build-an...
3 -
Watching IT guy on the show "How to get away with murder" explain how to hack:
"It's not that complicated, really. You just download that app from the deep web and worm your way into the phone company's main frame using basic java code. Anyone can learn how to do that."
Thats how you do it! Thank me later.8 -
Curious did any of you have a specific reason to learn how to program?
I wanted to be involved in aerospace but realised I'd probably never be an Astronaut, but i could learn how to write the software that controls the spacecrafts!12 -
One of my main hobbies is composing music. I had been in a creative funk for almost half a year when, during my vacation, I randomly discovered this little music production program for Nintendo Switch called Korg Gadget.
So far I've created 6 finished tracks, and this latest one I took a step further by giving some extra time and care.
I'm really glad to have the creative juices flowing again, especially since work has not been great lately...
Give it a listen, if you like. The other tracks are available as well :-)
New track. Sort of Synthwave. Composed with Korg Gadget on Nintendo Switch, mixed on a pc.
https://soundcloud.com/anders-bliru...
https://cloudbounce.com/zitilites/...8 -
Are any of you guys sentimental about your early programming efforts? I still have my first few simple Python programs on my computer, from years ago!
print("hello world")8 -
https://devrant.com/rants/3140022/...
So I just realised it's been a while and I haven't updated this story.
So the job mentioned in the previous post did not work out. Things were tough for a while after that but then all of a sudden I had 4 interviews back to back. I guess everyone got the 2021 budgets and suddenly knew they could afford me.
So had an interview at a small company, only 6km from my house. A week later second interview, another week later, when I had the other 3 lined up as well, third interview as they wanted to physically meet me. The first two were digital.
They also only offered me 47% of my previous salary but they said there was a salary review after probation (3 months) and another at the 6 month mark.
Another interview was for more just a general "the printer's not working" type job. I went for that interview as at the time, I'd take anything that paid enough to cover the bills. They also made me an offer for 47% of my prev salary. I turned them down as I was about to sign for the other gig. I recommended my brother and he got the job.
The monday of that week I had an interview at a bigger company. They called on 11th Nov offering almost the same as my last salary and wanted me to start on the 1st of Dec. So I took that one as it was double the other two. I then got delayed by 2 days with starting because they were having trouble getting my equipment sorted. All's well now.
It's a support job, not dev but it's internal 2nd line so at least it's not customer facing. They want to grow me into an RPA role, which I'm down for. I figure I'll kill 6 months doing that and worm my way into microservices.
The forth company, I didn't even actually for the interview, it kept on getting delayed and by the time they came op with a date, I had already signed my current contract.
Overall, the job is not what I expected but it was a godsend as I was about to sign for half as much money. Finally, I can pay all my bills, catch up on debts and even save a bit!
Thanks for the support and encouragement from those of you who have been following this story -
Finally got my MSc! 🎉
Now I can switch from part time suffering in worm and part time suffering at uni to full time suffering at work! 😅1 -
Do you guys ever feel like you lose the ability to be objective about your own work. I've looked at my website for so long now, I don't know if I think it's good or not...5
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Great mixed metaphor heard in a conference call with a client recently:
“That’s a can of worms I’m not willing to jump down into”5 -
Man collapses in the street, his wife "help, we need a doctor".
Dev speaks up "I did recently move to a standing desk"1 -
So the story. I got a job as an Android developer in a consulting company. I didn't have any certificates and even degree. Just some easy apps on Google Play which I created to combine learning and practice. After 5 Months I got my first client project and company gave me a senior with 6 years of experience so he can teach me. That guy is a complete shit and I have to teach him how to do stuff. So I am doing the most worm in the project. Sometimes I don't even manage with my tasks because I have to fix his code and explain him why so and when it won't work. As a result, the client subestimates me. Makes me work harder and I have 10$/h and him 60$/h. What shall I do ?3
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Who needs Mr. Robot or all that hacker shows, if reality is just as crazy:
https://krebsonsecurity.com/2017/...6 -
body {
overflow-x: hidden;
}
is a bit like trying to fix a broken arm by wearing a long sleeve shirt 😅 -
Can I just say, I hate migraines. There is nothing worse than trying to focus with a worm gnawing at ones eyeball. Ended up leaving work at 13:00, wishing I could teleport home. I take that back; driving for an hour with a migraine is worse. Almost 19:00 and it is finally gone.3
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Tell me you're a media-obsessed rube drone without telling me you're a media-obsessed rube drone. I'll start:
"SoFtWaRe JoB mArKeT iS hOrRiBlE aNd ShOwS nO sIgN oF rEcOvErY!!!"
hah, you mean those layoffs from that handful of frothed-over tech giants which had, I don't know, approximately ONE HUNDRED TIMES the amount of engineers they actually needed? I swear if i see this trope one more time i'm about to rage. can't wait until 2023 when this 'scare' will be but a memory. yes i'm muad'dib, golden path, worm god, whatever
but it's even simpler, you don't have to drink the spice:
- there are an estimated 205,741 people affected by the LaYoFfs (https://www.trueup.io/layoffs, actually a really cool site I just found)
- there are an estimated 3.87 MILLION software engineers, and that's just in the US, so it's safe to say less than 5% of the industry has been affected
so in short yes, you are a rube, i'll enjoy my multiple job offerings
should have been working on your craft instead of reading all those "news" articles. sheesh, i'd scare to hire anyone for a software position who can't get a grip on simple numbers anyway6 -
Fucking mobile single player online games.
So there I am, sitting on the tube, being passed around London like a unit of sweet corn taking a ride on the mud salad that decorates the interior of the common worm.
Game can't boot. Sorry, You paid but it wont start until you pay with your personal data we're trying to upload first things first.
One day some psychopath who sees what they're up to is going to find out where they live and then there will be no where that they live.
On another note. This is devrant. Vent, be angry, let it out.
It's turning into some pathetic joke.
Stop pussy footing around you bunch of pussyholes.
Have a shout, have a bout, have a laugh none of us nerds have ever had a bath because none of it is real, it's just a nerfed/gussied up forum you waste of cum.4 -
My windows defender has gone out of the window.
Now whenever i open windows security app, it shows a blank page.
There's is no tray process running and I can't find any service too.
I know it's a huge virus attack.
Can anyone suggest some methods to know what is causing this problem?
This has happened once before. That time i used DISM and checked windows files integrity. It replaced corrupted ones and then windows worked fine.
This time i want to know the cause.
I wanna root it out and rip it apart.11 -
Are people using Vim doing it for the sake of it? Is there such a thing as a Vim hipster?
I mean, nano is just nicer 😇15 -
At some point I stopped trusting anti-virus softwares for some reason. Nevertheless, I want to ask if anyone is using one on his/her Mac? Please recommend, because I got a warning today from my router's detection activity that I might have gotten worm virus ....😖2
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Y'all might wanna update your Win7, Win8 amd Win Server 2008.
RDP RCE with a CVSS pf 9.8.
https://blogs.technet.microsoft.com/...2 -
Service's like freelance and people per hour are a farce. It's just a constant race to the bottom price-wise.
'Yeah sure I can make you a blog website in 24 hours for £5' -
I don't know why... But I cringe when somebody says "coding", "coder". Maybe it's because it's an Americanism...1
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I love how our industry has invented such important sounding yet meaningless job titles...
Developer, software engineer, software architect, developer evangelist, dev ops engineer, systems analyst, quality assurance engineer, code monkey...4 -
Years ago when I was a kid I was into making things to solve problems. Earlier in my life I remember as a kid seeing a neighbor shove 120VAC into the ground to get worms to come up to the surface. I also remember taking a worm and slapping it on one of the posts and shocking the shit out of myself. Apparently that lesson did not stick.
As a teenager I wanted a device similar to this. So I wired a 120VAC plug and cord to a 1/4" audio connector. I threw this in a box and forgot about it. Years later my sister went through my things looking for a power plug for a synthesizer we had. It had an audio 1/4" plug for headphones. She told me she plugged this cord she found of mine into the synth and it started smoking. She went to pull the plug out and shocked the shit out of her. I don't think that the synth ever worked correctly after that.
Well, today I was thinking fondly about that story. I mean, who wouldn't think fondly about shocking the shit out of your sister (she didn't die, so its okay). However, it was dangerous. Really really dangerous.
The lesson I can take from this memory is this: if you know a software interface (or electrical) is not safe then don't build it. Someone will try and use that shit years later and really fuck some stuff up. I have to wonder. What kind of software traps have I built in the past that are yet to be discovered?3 -
Desk fans whirling. Sweating co-workers. An extra short stand-up.
That's right, the English summer has arrived.1 -
My own little version of moore's law:
In 1986 the connectome (the brain) of c. elegans, a small worm, was mapped. It would take decades before the research caught up to the point where we had the hardware to simulate it.
In 2024, we have successfully mapped, and fully simulated (to matching observed behavioral data) the brain of a fruit fly, a total of 139,255 neurons and corresponding connections.
Thats a 38 year period.
If the period is roughly 40 years, and the leap in successful neurons mapped *and simulated* is by an average of 461 times the prior number of neurons, then by 2062-2064 we will be simulating box jellyfish, fruit flys, zebrafish, bees, ants, honey bees, cockroachs, coconut crabs, geckos, guppys, sand lizards, snakes, skinks, toirtoises, frogs, iguanas, shrews, bats, and even moles.
By the dozens or hundreds in any given simulation.
By the year 2100-2104 we'll be fully simulating the brains of mice, quill, crocodiles, birds such as doves, rats, zebra finchs,
guinea pigs, lemurs, ducks, ferrets, cockatiels, squirrels, mongoose, prairie dogs, rabbits, octopi, house cats, buzzards, parakeets, grey parrots, snowy owls, racoons, and even domestic pigs.
And in the years between 2100 to 2140, starting immediately with domestic dogs, we will ramp up and end with the capacity to simulate human brains in full, probably by the dozens or hundreds.
This assumes we can break the quantum barrier of course.20 -
So there is this social institute I invested three years in.
Left them a record budget to play with. After being chair person for two years before and even administrating the whole 1900 of em.
Turns out they're FRICKIN' MORONS!
Instead of welcoming constructive criticism
/* which is because they can not read one single line of simple text without a fidget spinner at hand. And the second line of text, they ask their meds being upgraded! */.
They start fucking people up by spreading lies publicly!
On the fakken Web!
In so called protocols
/* which they don't manage to spellcheck before publishing. As freaking "devs" they major in */.
Just because I told them, that another institution which is conjoined to them within the universities senate, DOES NOT STAND IN COMPETITION!
They don't get it.
Is it that difficult?
Downvote if it is.
And please help me with those worm infested no brainers marrying in circles.
Its incredible how much you can achieve in some years and still so many people stay ignorant enough to start spewing their verbal vomit all over the campus thus fist fucked professors reign in, because "muh truth! no development. just money, I like money. muh moving student, not like it! not like work!".
What the hell is going on in this society?!4 -
The first 30 minutes of a working day often consist of me saying, "who broke this then?" Then a liberal use of git blame.
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Holy shit. I'm on the devrant app and I just noticed that the scrollbar on the right does this weird worm thingy.
As I scroll up and down, the scrollbar size keeps changing. It's a cool effect where it twitches like a worm.
Is that an android o feature or something or did @dfox or @trogus add that shet.2 -
Reading "duh... that link looks sketchy" time after time when attempting to nudge people in the direction of good resources, e.g., on-line manual pages, becomes rather irritating. Is typing the URL into VirusTotal or something really such a fucking hassle? Are you sufficiently special to warrant the creation of an IP grabber which is dedicated to targeting you... AFTER you posted your exact location on Instagram last week?
Similarly, some pants-shitting, worm-eating troglodytes who have the gall to claim to know anything about cybersecurity STILL think that for all Web sites k, that k's URL begins with "https" implies that k is secure. NO! Unencrypted Web sites are FINE unless sensitive information is being transferred. Are publicly available manual pages sensitive information now?
Grabbing the campaign hat and writing death threats and very personal insults is sometimes slightly tempting.5 -
Co-founder: "It doesn't make sense in the sense that it doesn't make sense with regards to our services."
Me: I'll ask again when your meds have worm off.
My co-founder is evidently on some pretty strong pain killers, when I just asked him about a logo idea for promoting our company (it's a web dev company so it's relevant here).1 -
MOBBING DICTIONARY - 4 -
Sentence (in private, outside the scope of CEO or such)
- sort it out yourself! fuck you, worm! I'll get you fired! I'll crush you with an hammer
(something very insulting, screaming)
Purpose
- to exasperate the target. So he/she will fight back, maybe at the wrong time. Or he/she will try to stay quiet, but he/she will explode inside.
- make clear to everybody that the mobber is the danger
Result
- The mobber will deny he/she ever said that. The target cannot prove it. Nobody will support the target, not even the witnesses, as they are scared. The CxO will not believe he/she could have said that, because he/she is apparently mild mannered and respectful with all directive positions.
- The target has a dilemma: or he/she denounces the words to the managers, but he/she will be considered a defamer, or worst.
Or he/she takes it in, and in such case, he/she will be slowly destroyed psychologically.3 -
Back when I was at uni, we had this group project based on data security.
At the first sit down meeting we had as a team, this one guy sat down and said "to be honest guys I'd be happy with a pass (40-50%) for this module"...
Well great.2 -
Fuck Oracle, fuck you oracle! The stupidest shittiest worst nightmare company with the most user-unfriendly, productivity-killing, illogical, stupid pile of software garbage products ever! And unfortunately I want to extends my worm-fucks to all Oracle employees and maintainers and to the whole fucking community of shit that made up oracle-community and to every conscious being who ever liked, enjoyed or have found the slightest genuine interest of any product tagged "oracle".
I installed the pile of shit a.k.a Oracle 18c and imported a dumb file locally, everything was working in the slightest amount of the word (fine) before it turns to nightmare. I created a C# client to call a stored procedure in that shit of a database engine. I kept getting error related to the parameter types, specifically one which is custom type of Table of numbers. It turns out that the only of doing this is through that shit they called (unmanaged driver), the "managed" doesn't support custom types. So I had to install another package of shit they call (odbc universal install) "universal my a$$ by the way", at that moment, where everything just crashed and stopped working. I spent 3 hours trying to connect to the fucking database to no avail. I shockingly found a folder in my desktop folder called (OracleInstallation) and all windows services related to oracle installation "suddenly" got somehow (re-routed) to that folder.
In conclusion, fuck oracle.4 -
Dreading the end of this bank holiday weekend, tomorrow I must wake up and return to working with legacy code.
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I knew I wanted to be a Dev ever since I discovered that the Apollo missions, used a flight computer less powerful than a average mobile phone.
If they could put a man on the moon with that, imagine what I could do now... -
Went to scan a file with the built in Win 10 scanner. It came up and said the file was excluded from scan. So it gave me a link to the exclusion directories of the virus scanner. I looked and it had the entire C drive as the last exclusion. I did not do this. I have specific directories on exclusion, but not the entire drive.
I got rid of this exclusion and scanned the entire drive. I didn't get any virus or worm hits.
Is this a sign of an infection?
It would have had to be changed with something that asked for permission to make administrative changes like an install. I honestly don't know what I would have installed that I gave permission to do this lately.
Is there a way to accidentally right click somehow to add a directory to the exclusion list?3 -
During my education there was this "Exception('Smoking hot girl')", and also very kind/sweet I used to help a lot, and tutor best practices on whatever project she would throw herself into.
(It should be noted that half of our teachers where incompetent, or flat out wrong, so we kinda had to use more than usual time helping other people)
But being a shy guy, and having the spine of a worm, I got stuck as a 'personal teacher' for a good period of time. Never had the guts to ask her out.
Not sure if it's selfish to focus your attention on one person because you liked the girl, that's a lot of time I could've used to help others. Or if I should be proud of what I did, I do believe she'd dropped out otherwise....
But nonetheless I did enjoy the time.1 -
Really interesting video by FunFunFunction https://youtu.be/J9OpTNk0hYc.
"Does a developer need to be nice". How many times have you guys been made to feel stupid for asking a question or for getting something wrong?2 -
Alright, I've got a confesstion. It's a confession and a question, combined, get it?
Anyway, I've been a happy Linux user for over 20 years now, and I've used all kinds of graphical envs, from tiling wms like dwm and xmonad (I didn't care for hyprland, sorry if that's weird) to full DEs like kde, cinnamon, gnome, etc.
The "question" here is why do people hate Gnome so much? It's the one environment that I keep coming back to, especially now that my main machine is a beast, and RAM usage is nary a concern. Even then, my system is sipping RAM compared to KDE (running two docker dev environments, three browser windows with several tabs - one of which is streaming music, slack, and steam is sitting on the fourth virtual desktop, chilling), and I'm still at just over 18 GB of ram.Being able to push one single key/key combo, and type anything at all that is vaguely relevant to what you want to accomplish, and having that thing be instantly available (including searching for individual files) is super nice. Easy virtual and multi monitor switching is intuitive; little to no effort needed.
Even when I want to do other stuff, like play a game, or edit a photo, video, or some of my shitty musical-aspirational material - GNU+Linux with Gnome has been and continues to be the easiest, most neato way to get shit done.
Why the hate, gnome haters? Maybe you’re using it wrong?13 -
!rant
I personally a book worm I read books from goalkicker.com , I started programme for Android application in Java. -
Pressing the provisioning profiles "fix this issue" button in Xcode... And getting roasted for being a noob by the entire office.1
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"I only started tasting the worm in this handful of worms that long ago in some forgotten design document might once have been an apple when I got a load of the character animation..."
The sadness when you realise that Yahtzee Croshaw's description of Alien: Colonial Marines is also applicable to every software you have ever developed.
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