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Customer: "Why doesn't the user interface have a night mode?"
Me: It wasn't in the requirements, it also doesn't have bouncing pink elephants, do you want me to add those in as well?9 -
Fuck me, big fucking security flaw with a UK internet service provider, my head has gone through my desk and hit the floor it’s that bad.
23 -
For the love of God stop having your fucking secretary make the design decisions. "Make the logo bigger"
The header looks like shit if it takes up 1/4 of the screen Karen 😡😡8 -
Shame on every developer who ever wrote a blog post about a complex topic that included only trivial examples!7
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Just found out out what people google about programmers...
the last one made my day. I think it was this feeling called "funny" haha
3 -
What the fuck Apple, I thought selling a monitor stand separately at £999 was bad, £360 for putting fucking wheels on your Mac Pro, fuck me.
I had no fucking clue how to tag this, hence why it’s got 3 categories to it
11 -
So we got our first household Alexa yesterday and my brothers have been asking it silly things, like:
Brother: Alexa sing baby shark:
Alexa: <sings baby shark>
B: Alexa sing mummy shark
A: <sings mummy shark>
B: Alexa sing daddy shark
A: <sings daddy shark>
B: Alexa sing grandma shark
A: "I think that's enough, even I have my limits"
Fucking Brilliant!!!4 -
Just had Windows pop up with a notification saying “We’ve turned on storage sense for you”. Love it how the default is “When Windows Decides”. Was that why countless users lost their data back in October 2018???
I think I’ll turn that off permanently 😂😂😂
4 -
Grr the feeling when one of your interviewers has a hard-on for trying to find ways to sink your boat.
Went to a job interview yesterday during my lunch break for a mid level dev job in central London , i have been trying to transition from a junior role.
First were two senior devs , that went quiet well...
Next up was the tech lead and a team lead, lets call the latter Mc-douche for some problem
The tech lead was fine, very relaxed and clam guy more interested in seeing the logic of my answers and questions as to why i did certain things in this or that manner....
Mc-douche, he would always try to find something wrong then smile smugly and do that sideways head waggle thing
His tech lead is like " yup that's correct"
But he would be like " yeeess but you didn't think about bla bla bla" then talk about shit not even present in the context of the question
Ah also he would ask a question then cut me off as soon as I begin to say that i didnt mention or take into account x or y even though literally my next sentence is about address those details he wanted.
let me fucking finish you dickbag 😡
Had a js question, simple stuff about dom manipulation, told not to bother with code... yet McD starts asking me to write the code for it....managed it , quite easy stuff
Then a sql and db test , again technlead was happy with the answers and the logic am approaching the question when writing my query, yet mc d Is bitching about SQL syntax....
Ok fine, i made a simple mistake, I forgot and used WHERE instead of HAVING in a group by but really?! Thats his focus ?!
Most devs I know look up syntax to do stuff , they focus on their logic first the do the impl.
Then a general question on some math and how i would code to impl a solution on paper
That was a 20 mins one, the question said they didn't expect me to finish it totally so
I approached it like an exam question.
First
I focussed on my general flow of my process, listing out each step.
Then elaborated each step with pseudo code showing my logic for each of the key steps.
Then went deeper and started on some of the classes and methods , was about to finish before it was time up.
Mc douch went through my solution
And grudgingly admitted my logic was "robust enough" it was like he really had to yank that deep out of his colon.
I didn't really respond to any of his rudeness throughout the whole interview,i either smiled politely or put on a keen looking poker face.
Really felt awful the rest of the day, skipped the gym and went home after work, really sucks to have a hostile interviewer.
Pretty sure i wont be hearing anything good from them even though the three other interviewers were happy with me I felt.4 -
I’ve only just been able to catch up with the UK news and the government missed ~16,000 cases of COVID-19 over a 7 day period due to a “technical glitch”.
The “technical glitch” was the government using an excel spreadsheet that reached the data limit.
Who the fuck thought that was a good idea long term, that’s why databases exist!!!!9 -
I'm switching companies. Gonna have to use Windows, grr. No Linux for development machines. :(
How do you guys keep yourself productive in Windows? I honestly can't in its bare state.
Best idea, for now, is just using a VM on top of Windows and ignore the Host OS.13 -
I’ve had enough of shitty ISPs. Time to shame them 😈
Here in the UK, we have a company called TalkTalk who treat their customers as whores by not giving a shit and taking all their money.
I have had an ongoing issue for about 9 months now where our internet is more unstable, but also slower. We pay for 72Mbps at which we used to get, but now our internet tops out at 30Mbps if we are lucky. It can be 20Mbps one minute and 7Mbps the next, and I’ve had it drop below 1Mbps for no goddam reason.
I’ve spoken (well, argued) argued to their so called customer service department over phone and live chat explaining the situation and all they’ve done is said “restart your router”, or “we’ll send out a new router, it’s probably a WiFi issue”, or some bullshit like “I’ve ‘changed’ something on my end”. On one conversation with a so called technician, I had to explain how networking actually worded, and and even called a 7Mbps acceptable when we were paying for 10x that!!!!!
The thing that makes it worse is they actually have systems that detect any issues with customers internet lines, but they only alert the customer to the issue through an online portal, telling the customer to call up and get it dealt with rather than passing the info to a tech department and having issues fixed without the customer knowing unless it’s absolutely necessary.
So 9 months in and I still have a fluctuating, unstable internet connection which is slow and overpriced with no tunnel in sight. GIVE ME BACK MY GODDAMN MONEY YOU FUCKING THIEVING BASTARDS.3 -
What developer/team thought that this would be a fucking brilliant option to put in this in a game?
Btw there is no VSync option, just “Limit to 30 FPS”
11 -
When creating auto incrementing integer keys on a MySQL database, please mark then as unsigned, you don’t need a negative primary key 😞😞😞4
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2nd rant this week on PHP PDO
PHP 💩:
PHP message: SQLSTATE[HY000]: General error: 2014 Cannot execute queries while other unbuffered queries are active. Consider using PDOStatement::fetchAll(). Alternatively, if your code is only ever going to run against mysql, you may enable query buffering by setting the PDO::MYSQL_ATTR_USE_BUFFERED_QUERY attribute
Me 🤬:
THATS WHAT I’M FUCKING USING. STOP FUCKING COMPLAINING. YOU DIDN’T LIKE THE FUCKING COLONS FOR YOUR FUCKING PARAMATETRS, NOW YOU HATE YOUR OWN FUCKING FETCHALL() METHOD YOU PEICE OF SHIT, AND YOU CAN’T HAVE ANY OTHER ACTIVE QUERIES AS IT’S THE FIRST FUCKING QUERY. ARRGHHH!!!!!
What the actual fuck is wrong with PDO. It bitches about everything 😡.8 -
Only just noticed that CSS has variables - when the fuck did this happen and where the hell was I when it did!!!!6
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What dumb twat decided to commit a change with the message “FUCK”. And it not just one, it’s 10 or more in a fucking row!!!!!
Thanks, that’s really gonna help me understand what was changed 😡5 -
No wonder why Google Chrome takes up alot of RAM when running, I've just seen chromiums dev requirements:
System requirements
- A 64-bit Intel machine with at least 8GB of RAM. More than 16GB is highly recommended.
- At least 100GB of free disk space on an NTFS-formatted hard drive. FAT32 will not work, as some of the Git packfiles are larger than 4GB.
- An appropriate version of Visual Studio, as described below.
Windows 7 or newer.8 -
So our city’s bus service provider has decided to update the software for their “iPoints”, I think they haven’t thought this rollout through.
7 -
Just been told by someone that they think that Megabits (Mb) is the same as Megabytes (MB)... FUCK SAKE🤬🤬🤬😞😞😞
I want to put my head through my keyboard, through my desk, and through the 3 floors below me. I’m so god damn triggered right now6 -
Why do I do this, it's 05:45 and I'm just about to leave for site it's a 3 hour drive if traffic is kind. By the time I get home it will be 20:30 hours at least. Grr long days3
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Over a year ago I posted a screenshot of chrome vs edge, and chrome had 92 processes consuming 2.1GB RAM vs edges 19 processes consuming 3.2GB RAM
Just seen this... WTF google, how can you need soooo much ram, I thought you had fixed your high memory issues!!!
22 -
Why does Windows have to be so fucking useless when running docker. Everytime i need to make a change to the NGINX container, I have to restart the docker daemon, rather than rebuild and restart the container.
I would be doing this on Ubuntu, if I could install it that is.8 -
Why does the css border-spacing have to be different in how it takes 2 values.
If you look at margin and padding properties when passing in 2 values, you pass in:
margin: (top/bottom)px (left/right)px;
However, when using border spacing:
border-spacing: (left/right)px (top/bottom)px;
I know I’m simplifying here, but it’s goddamn irritating how it’s takes in vertical and horizontal spacing the other way around. Who the hell thought that was a good idea4 -
What is it with non-technical managers, especially those in sales, thinking that the solution to all problems is to "just pick up the phone and ring them?" This was *always* his opinion, whether the web service we were using wasn't accepting a valid request (apparently this was best "explained over the phone", I kid you not - have you ever tried speaking JSON?!) or whether we just needed a simple request going in to increase the API limit. I mean I could send an email or log a ticket in a few minutes tops, but you want me to spend 2 hours on hold to a support department only to be told "ah we don't take those requests over the phone, here's the URL, log a ticket."
Then it's always a case of "I don't understand why they're like that, all the guys I speak to are happy to help on the phone". Yeah, beacuse you're in sales & marketing you muppet. Blathering on to each other so you can stroke the egos of yourselves and your companies is kinda in the job description.
Grr. This was all a while ago, but I thought of it just now and the pure concept just annoyed me, so here it is. I really hope he's not doing the same thing to guys under him now (but let's be honest, he probably is.)7 -
Why the hell does windows not feature a generell purpose interpreted language? This is horrible! Seriously, out of the box this thing doesnt support anything!13
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1. I have Animal Crossing
2. My internet can drop to 0.8Mbps
3. I have Animal Crossing
4. My internet can drop out 10 times a day
5. I have animal crossing
6. My office pc is my gaming rig
7. I have... I think you get the gist1 -
Love it when you have a SQL query that takes 6.3 seconds (which includes processing time) to execute, and you managed to convert to a process that takes just 0.072 to complete1
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Can we have a Moment of silence please
https://sebastiandedeyne.com/moment...
I only found this library a couple of months ago and instantly loved it as it made working with JS date so much easier.
Sorry for the pun btw, i couldn’t resist 😂7 -
In college doing A2’s, working solo. Building a companion app for Trivial Pursuit bet you know it edition. Laptop got hit by virus/malware, stopped me from copying files, lost 2/3’s of my project 3 days before submission.3
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TL;DR: Forwards and backwards buttons on mouse broke. Me sad!
grrr, bought a corsair dark core mouse (on sale) to use with my laptop (in school) because I got really sick my other mouse being wired. It has worked really well up until like a month ago where the fucking forwards and backwards buttons magically stopped working and will instead just type the numbers 1 and 2. This also happens only in Linux because iQueue, their driver software, is windows only.
It works fine otherwise, but goooood is it hard to live without the forwards and backwards buttons :<1 -
One of my commits today:
“Corrected a file path for view as it’s causing issues within the live environment”
What I actually wanted to put:
“Changed letter to uppercase in file path for view because live is being a fucking bitch about it”
Why do my Dev and Live environments have to differ 😞, I kept my cool though, which is a first for me 🙂4 -
I fucking hate vendor prefixes. HATE.
Got some nice JS code? Well it's about to get ugly 'cause in our browser, the API needs some special name treatment or it feels offended.
Got some nice CSS?
You're welcome, it just grew 3x in size because "ugh, I ain't havin' the same flexbox as lousy Chrome over there! I'm special, I'm -ms-!"
Fucking bullshit.1 -
Erm, instead of trying to guess my gender, just put “Dear <first name>” and leave it at that. It’s actually quite insulting
13 -
I'm at a bit of a loose end here, I'll do my best to explain and I hope it all makes sense.
I'm trying to find a way to wrap a C++ Console App in a C# Class so I can use the C++ App as a library within the C# app rather than triggering the C++ exe and providing a command to it.
The reason why I wish to do it this way is for maintainability, so I can make changes to the C++ app without affecting the C# App.
I've been looking at tutorials and stack overflow to see if's its possible, but for someone with learning difficulties, I'm struggling to find the right path to take as I'm seeing conflicting info.
Any help would be greatly appreciated, Thanks in advance5 -
Why does the Fat Free Frameworks (F3) $db->exec() method have its array count from 1 and not 0.
Instead of doing:
[$param1, $param2]
You have to do:
[ 1=> $param1, 2=> $param2]
WHO THE FUCK THOUGHT THAT WOULD BE A GREAT IDEA?
This is something that PHP PDO gets right, AND I FUCKING HATE PDO!!!4 -
Why can't I attach a fucking image to my rant!! it's making me mad. uploading and uploading..... grr 😤5
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I’ve just fired up Ubuntu for the first time in a couple of years on a laptop while doing some data recovery. I use windows and Mac in a daily basis.
I’m tempted to switch, I forgot how much I missed Ubuntu1 -
Google's "Mobile Friendly Test Tool" is shit.
It does its automated test's during it's index and points out that there are various issues with the page and IT IS NOT mobile friendly.
So I go and test the page in the Mobile test tool to see what other error's it's reporting and it comes back and says "This page IS mobile friendly".
Like WTF Google, make up your fucking goddamn mind and stop pissing me about.1 -
Can anyone suggest a good TS based stack to use with electron? I'm (hopefully) looking to make an open source app3
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Before I came along, my company was processing orders of type X by hand, taking many hours and being at greater risk of human error. So as a temporary solution, I crafted a console app to do the processing. Then, this app is needed to be accessed remotely. Because adding a newer .NET to a handful of servers was just too much to handle emotionally for management, the console app was revamped to a web app. During this revamping process, I was having my client send me an email so that I could initiate the processing myself until a friendlier UI was available. Well, I finished last night. I sent them an email explaining that it was live, gave them the address, and gave myself a high-five. A moment ago, I get an email from the client insisting that I process those orders quickly so that I don't cause a delay in shipping. FML!! Did they even READ the email I sent them?? They've been suckling at the teat for too long. Adding insult to injury, since the revamping project began, the client would CC my boss every time they emailed to have an order processed as if to hint at their frustration that the project wasn't done yet. Grr....
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Fucking hell... If I knew that PHPStorm could display the same file over 2 screens/windows, I’d have used it sooner. 😡
It is a godsend though 🙂7 -
Can this week be over now(), it's been an absolute nightmare in terms of development. I just want to sleep.1
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Why is PHP PDO such a b*tch to work with?
One minute it says it’ll accept one query via one method for one insert but then deny the next query you give it, all because of “:” within bindParam() -
There is nothing worse than trying to program while having RSI, it’s either you have your wrist support on and type slowly and hit multiple keys, or you have it off, type slowly and live with the pain3
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So we are testing slack as our new messaging platform, it states that the platform has 10k searchable messages, does that mean that you can send unlimited messages with 10k searchable, or 10k messages total before you have to start paying?5
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Had a debate with a colleague today over git commits, I had 24 outstanding and he had 15. We came up with a little game...
Who can create the most changes for a single commit. The winner is the one who can remember what each change was without looking at the changes.
Needlessly to say, we both lost 😂 -
A project where there was no templating at all and every page was independent of each other, it was that bad I started from scratch.
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Grr.
I have been struggling with schema compare and editing anything SQL related in Visual Studio for a couple of weeks now. Cursor constantly flickering, can't click on anything, and actually running the compare results in Visual Studio disappearing in puff of smoke.
I'd put it down to an update, but then this week's update didn't fix it.
Turns out it is a "feature" that Microsoft has been refusing to fix for over a year now, where none of the SQL stuff in VS works properly on a 4k external monitor. And of course I only started trying to use that stuff on my 4k monitor since I have been working from home.
Dragging VS across to the laptop screen solves the problem (and is the Microsoft fix), but I think I now need to visit the optician to get new glasses to see WTF is going on. -
Fucking Ruby.
Installed my new job's codebase on my machine and it's fucked everything.
While trying to get the database working, someone's dropped my User table, so I can't log in as 'Josh' anymore.
Now I can't compile scss assets without a fucking gem error.
I'M IN A PYTHON ENVIRONMENT, FUCK OFF!
GRR.1 -
Grr! Why is my new iMac taking forever to start up programs and load websites? I feel like it should be faster than this!9
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So apparently in MySQL, 0 doesn’t always equal 0, sometimes it can be 1, or 2, or 3...
what the actual fuck?!?!5 -
God damn it wpf I just wanna bind an ObservableCollection<string> to an itembox and then have textfields inside that item box that modifies those strings and have the modifications stay there https://imgur.com/a/Un2nk9V !7
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Sometimes, just sometimes, I need to stop programming until nearly 10pm. It cannot be healthy for the body.
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So as part of my news years resolution, I thought id build an app and I thought I would build it in vue.js and native script with a shared codebase, I've started with a fresh project and already I have an error, one that I've not caused, this is in router.js. see if you can spot it.
module.exports = (api, options) => {
require('@vue/cli-plugin-router/generator')(api, {
historyMode: options.routerHistoryMode
};
export default new Router(options);
}
When I've fixed the syntax error, I then get, the error:
/src/router.js: 'import' and 'export' may only appear at the top level (5:0)
This is when I run "npm run serve:ios"
if anyone has encountered this, please let me know how you fixed this.2 -
Trying to find a function I swear I had created to retrieve a set of counts from a database. Couldn’t find it. What I could find is the comment I had written with the function being completely overwritten with something entirely different.
I’m a complete fucking idiot and thank fuck for version control. -
Why is the prettus repository package shit at handling mass inserts. The documentation says:
$this->repository->create(Input::all())
WTF does that even mean.3 -
Sat on a bus heading home next to some guy who clearly hasn’t got knowledge of how to use a pair of fucking headphones and it sat playing a fucking game with the volume on loud, and all I can hear is the same fucking “whoosh, ping” noise fucking over and over again or he’s watching those shitty videos on Facebook
IT’S DOING MY FUCKING HEAD IN!!!!!! GET A PAIR FUCKING HEADPHONES OR MUTE YOUR FUCKING PHONE!!!!! NO-ONE WANTS TO HEAR THAT SHIT!!!!!2 -
Who knew there were so many goddamn duplicate file extensions spanning generations....
There is literally nothing to do but rate likelihood.
Does anyone know of a statistical database that tracks the appearance of certain file types and their frequency based of real analysis of active computer systems ?
Some of these types are pretty vague and fileinfo repeats some things. grr.
Of course, overthinking here, one would have to also look at what kind of files appear in the same directory in certain cases.5 -
How the fuck is this even possible Microsoft, apparently one line of code breaks web browser sandboxing on all chromium based browsers.
https://slashgear.com/windows-10-19...3 -
Can any one recommend a good Go framework for APIs with a MongoDB ORM?
Was using Laravel 6/Lumen but it’s API ability is starting to piss me off with its CSRF crap, JWT/Passport implementation and a it’s lack of MongoDB support.
I don’t need any templating engines at all, its all handled by a SPA and Mobile Apps6 -
So working from home due to UK Gov lockdown. iTunes on, and the perfect power anthem comes on... Productivity up 110%
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Why does an app built using Appcelerator, which runs beautifully on iPhone, run TERRIBLY on Android? 😡😡Camera permission issues, trapping Android back button, grr!3
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