Do all the things like ++ or -- rants, post your own rants, comment on others' rants and build your customized dev avatarSign Up
Get a devDuck
Rubber duck debugging has never been so cute! Get your favorite coding language devDuckBuy Now
Search - "bnd"
If programming languages where weapons...
1. C is an M1 Garand standard issue rifle, old but reliable.
2. C++ is a set of nunchuks, powerful and impressive when wielded but takes many years of pain to master and often you probably wish you were using something else.
3. Perl is a molotov cocktail, it was probably useful once, but few people use it
4. Java is a belt fed 240G automatic weapon where sometimes the belt has rounds, sometimes it doesn’t, and when it doesn’t during firing you get an NullPointerException, the gun explodes and you die.
5. Scala is a variant of the 240G Java, except the training manual is written in an incomprehensible dialect which many suspect is just gibberish.
7. Go is the custom made “if err != nil” starter pistol and after each shot you must check to make sure it actually shot. Also it shoots tabs instead of blanks.
8. Rust is a 3d printed gun. It may work some day.
9. bash is a cursed hammer, when wielded everything looks like a nail, especially your thumb.
10. Python is the “v2/v3” double barrel shotgun, only one barrel will shoot at a time, and you never end up shooting the recommended one. Also I probably should have used a line tool to draw that.
11. Ruby is a ruby encrusted sword, it is usually only used because of how shiny it is.
12. PHP is a hose, you usually plug one end into a car exhaust, and the other you stick in through a window and then you sit in the car and turn the engine on.
13. Mathematica is a low earth orbit projectile cannon, it could probably do amazing things if only anyone could actually afford one.
14. C# is a powerful laser rifle strapped to a donkey, when taken off the donkey the laser doesn’t seem to work as well.
15. Prolog is an AI weapon, you tell it what to do, which it does but then it also builds some terminators to go back in time and kill your mom
All credits go to Vicky from damnet.com6
A software engineer was smoking...
A lady nearby asked him: "Can't you read the warnings? Smoking is injurous to health!"
He replied: "We are bothered only about errors, not warnings!"7
Fuck recruiters! I told them i want to work in a bigger company and my JS are not the best.
I just drove a freaking hour to a company who wants a diehard JS'er and exists of 4! People.
Goes to first job interview. Great interview but, can you send some code?
Sends requested js, css html files.
Great code, we want to speak to you again!
Goes to second interview, waits 15m, meets the sales department. Sales? Wtf?
Great interview but, can you send more code?
We need some native JS to really make sure you can write code.
You could've emailed this request before the interview b*tch. That way id save time hurrying in rain and traffic jams!4
Suddenly it hits me.
It’s 01:20 here but i get it.
It’s ALL a budget thing.
No dedicated tester means less expenses.
No personal parkspot?
And no good staging or testing environment? Less expenses!
Meanwhile every developer can setup, work on, and maintain about 20 websites on their shitty local Windows machine, that doesn’t even have a proper SSD installed, and we are setting impossible deadlines to figure out who will sink and who will swim.
Ow, here is a SSD.. Figure out the installation yourself because we have no IT knowledge or budget for people that do.
You want a challenge? How about 40 other people that are distracting you all day long.
Meanwhile everybody has to improve their skills in js, react, html5, ccs3, angular, .net and razor so money can made faster.
It would be nice if you could build apps as well.
You had a question? Sorry, no time. Expect some feedback 14 days later.
You finished the site?
But here are 101 bugs to solve before next week.
All hail their crazy company!2
Clearing the cache.
Tried clearing cms cache
Tried restarting iis
Tried browsing incognito
Tried deleting browser cache...
WHY U STILL SHOW OLD CSS?!?!23
It's always fun to compare webdesign to car sales.
Client: We want a car with 2 doors.
We: Here is you car with 2 doors.
Client: Why does the car only have 2 doors? This is very limiting and i think 4 doors work way better.
We: Okay fine, here is a car with 4 doors.
Client: Could you please check on the brakes, i think there is something wrong but i don't know what.
We: Ok we checked the brakes and they are working ok. So here is you car with working brakes and 4 doors.
Client: Why didn't you check on the exhaust? The car is generating big black clouds now...
It's never enough7
The other day we had a little celebration because a website went live.
Somehow it’s easy to spent €100 on celebration food and drinks but it’s hard to sign a €90 paper and allow me to upgrade my computer just a tiny bit.4
Just had my first demo here. The resolution of the screen was set at 150% screwing more up then i hoped for.
I didn't dare to show the iPad version. I had seen enough bugs in those 10 minutes.
Don't put this developer in the center of attention. Please.3
1. Keep your rythm: 7/8 hours of sleep each day and DON'T take your work home. Unless you have your own business ofcourse. Still: don't wear yourself out!
2. Put on music. Me personally like fast punk when i'm struggling with a deadline. Makes you want to go faster.
3. Close ALL communication like chats, mail etc. Hell i even thought of a sign "do not disturb"
4. Coffee. Lot's of coffee
5. Use a time tracking method like pomodoro5
Client came in this morning. Not even angry about the results so far even though deadline was a month ago. It's good to see a client as passionate about his product as this one1
Im working on a big project with a coworker that is working remotely. Basically we chat and call every day.
Today he is in the office.
Comes in, doesn’t even look or say hi.
Nice working with you pal.4
After 60+ days of being jobless i had two offers coming my way. Starting my new job next monday! So excited!2
Glassdoor.com is in hot water after federal investigators in the US sent a subpoena to unmask anonymous users who might be "third party witnesses" to certain business practices by a company under investigation for fraud.
Can DevRant (@dfox, @trogus) be forced to unmask its users (IPs, emails) in a any way, by the US government (@fbi, @cia, @nsa) or any other government (@svr_rf, @mss, @mi6, @bnd), should a similar situation arise?15
So, 5/10 minutes of discussion about a class i need in the code. This was with the backender.
Ofcourse the designer hears this, joins the discussion and causes another 10minutes of explaining that a photo is different then a video...
Meanwhile i took a piss and got coffee because i’m fucking tired of these discusseion. You’re a designer, why care about code other people write. Go draw something2
Our teacher just told us to share our code via drive or dropbox or something like that, and I was there like "hey ever heard of git?????"8
The German constitutional court (BverfG) declared many part of the law regulating the German secret agency "Bundesnachrichtendienst" (Federal Intelligence Service; BND) for unlawful and unconstitutional.
The key points:
- The freedom of press and the right for privacy are human rights, not just for Germans
- Uncontrolled and targetless, without protection for e.g. foreign journalists
- No independent control institution
- Lawmakers completely did not mention why they see a reason why human rights can be restricted, but intentionally did not respect them
- There must be specific reasons to give data to other countries' secret agencies
Sources (in German):
Just had the shittiest job interview ever. Had to do two tests. And since i was nervous as fuck and can't do proper JS i obviously failed!10
So yesterday i solved 7 tickets on my own for this project while the teammate was "testing".
Solved nothing and checked fb or new everytime i took a look at his screen.
Can comeone please fire this guy?1
Working as a new employee: no wifi. No work. 10 new tools to get familiair with. 41 new people to get to know. No workstation. No desk. No signed contract.
So far so good.4
Yeah i applied for a job once without much js experience. I got invited for an interview and a couple of tests. The interview went well. I think the cognitive test wasn’t bad either.
However they wanted to see funky js shit i hadn’t ever done or see before and also was totally useless skill wise.
I asked if i could google answers (who doesn’t in their daily script job?) but i wasn’t.
I tried for like 5 or 10 minutes and then blurted out to the major CTO super tech savy master degree microsoft-o-worthy, that my js skills weren’t up for the task.
He gave me a couple of links to pdf’s with programming basics teached at a high school. Totally cool and understanding.
I walked away ashamed and probably red as a tomato. Excused myself for wasting his time and left as quickly as possible.5
Why does every designer has to be a complete asshole? Wtf is up with them? You take a day on your fucking design, i implement your fucking design, and then when you see it, you want it completely different again.2
Started a new job a month ago. I’m the only real frontend developer here. I come from a company with 10+. Now i’m working with a old ux guy. Mr. UX teached me the usage of a styleguide. This styleguide is a fucking mess. The legacy code is a fucking mess. They way of working, up for improvement.
I have a dream...4
99 IT recruiters on the phone, 99 IT recruiters.
Take one down and pass it around, 99 IT recruiters on the phone.3
They hired a new person to come and help put with the project. This guy graduated a freaking year ago. Common guys wtf?!
Saying he is a full stack developer but unable to get a database running :’)4
So i had the second talk with this company today. The backend developer somehow expected me to know all four benefits of jQuery. What the hell dude?
Nobody knows everything.
I’m not a big fan of jQuery period.11
I was in a meeting with the designer, the backend guys and a marketing person this morning. They talk about a frontender like i’m not even here.
I have a job interview this week so hopefully this will soon indeed be the case.1
Company is celebrating new awards. Whole dev team basically says fuck you we have better things todo and isn’t attending for champagne.1
Yesterday I had another job interview. This time from home via Skype. Today I was blown off. I was not technical enough according to the company.
This company was working with an ancient cms nobody ever heard of and made Sass sound difficult and new.
Good luck in the Stone Age fellow devs. Make sure you upgrade your pc to Windows 7.7
I was just in a meeting. Making notes on my phone. Appearently coworker thought i was on FB or something and asked if i could focus. I was just making notes?!
He felt pretty stupid :)
If i can make all buttons on the website manageble.
Haha just asking for 300 changes in a single issue. Wtf
Coworker; i’m soooo busy please don’t bother me.
Emailbox: full with mails from the coworker that does seem to have time to write all those
Putting your screen vertical for coding, who does it? I never tried but am curious so maybe i should15
We had some PR’s this morning. Colleage rewrote an app. Restructured everything. Broke some things. Not a single comment and merged to master.
I get questions like: WhY dO yOu PuT a BuTtOnPrEsS aNd A mOuSeCliCk HeRe?
FOR ACCESSIBILITY ASSHOLE!!! SOMETHING YOU OBVIOUSLY NEVER HEARD OF!!!4
Setting up a local website here takes a couple of hours at least. Worst case scenario is 2 or 3 days.
I have to do it in 30m and the pc didn’t even had IIS or Sql Server studio.3
Designers! Argh. I’ve been busy with a form for over two days and STILL it isnt good enough. I told everybody this CMS is a pain the ass and every element has to be positioned manually.
THAT YOUR FUCKING CHECKBOX ISNT LIKE YOUR PSD ISNT MY PROBLEM.
PLEASE THROW YOURSELF OFF A BUILDING?!
So, i helped solving 168 bugs for this website. Ofcourse, doubting every step since i'm still new here. Yesterday there was a meeting with the directors. Appearently they where happy a graded the site with a 8.5.
I finished my education with a 6. Not taking credit for any of the above...4
So far i've been asked at least three times this week if i like it here.
I consider this a disadvantage...7
Last week: "let's build this page this way!"
Me: styles page
One day later: "no, that's build the wrong way, let's build it this other way!"
Don't be afraid to make mistakes. Making mistakes is the only way to learn from them and grow. F*ck sh*t up and build it back up again but better. Fall seven times stand up 8!
So i’m making my first Angular app here. I commited the first code setup and shot in the PR. I got 40+ comments so i’ve been fixing them all day yesterday.
A part of the comments i don’t understand yet so i ask if the colleage can watch with me and explain ehat how and why.
What does this nitpicker motherfucker do? Add more fucking comments to the PR and totally ignores my requests for explanation. Fucking anti social dick.4
So i already worked 40 hours this week and i have still 8 more hours to go.
Made a shift from 08:30 till 23:30 and wannabe lead had the guts to tell me i could work from home.
Maybe it's not a bad idea to leave the office.
And fucking quit1
So i’m looking through our backlog... and there is one issue called “gain trust”. No specifications whatsoever. Just “gain trust”. Wtf2
Every time i got fired. So thats 6. At least in the past ten years. Every time i saw colleages get fired. So double that. Every 10nth job interview i went to. Maybe i should say i doubt my dev future every single fucking day.6
Recruiters have gone fucking mad! They are offering me a job in Brussels haha, this is at least a two hour drive away!!
Unless this job comes with a personal helicopter service, hell no!7
I'm wondering if recruiters are just as irritating everywhere or that this is just the shitty situation we have in the Netherlands.
I was once called by an unknown number and heard a typical recruiter story. Since i never heard of or spoke to this person i kindly asked where he'd get my information from. Since mr, Recruiter didn't answer and just kept selling his great position i hung up.
He called back.
I picked up the phone again and he told me there were connection issues. I once again asked where he found my number. And again he just acted like he didnt hear me and sells his great position.
Hangs up and blocks the number. Go f(...) yourself damn recruiter!7
I find it so frustrating that i have to do my frontend coding in the same sprint the designer is working out what i’m suppose to create.
This isn’t working people!
I have got jackshit to do because all i can do is wait for the design but mr. Designer is pixelfucking his ass off.
Seriously, i’m working here for a couple of months but already looking around for vacancies.1
Why do recruiters keep thinking they can contact me 5 months after i last spoke to them? Look at me LinkedIn. I have a job!2
Just writing this because i’m stressed as fuck and i’m currently having my second sleepless night in a row...
Like i mentioned earlier i have 4 projects on my name. Two are on a real tight deadline, the other two are smaller, more support like issues.
Last week i got asked basically to get about 20 storypoints done in two hours by my Scrum master. Ehh no. Impossible. Wish i could do magic...
Yesterday i had to make a quick hotfix between the two bigger projects. Tried to reject this but had to do this any way. (It was basically the clients fault/content)
Also, f’d it up because there are current changes that are ready for deploy but haven’t been approved yet.
Do i get a f’ckin email this morning about how the progress wasn’t followed and the git permissions aren’t right.
You fucking twat! If i i did have ANY freaking minute in my planning to actually take the time for this damn hotfix this didn’t happen any way! You’re fucking restrictions only make things harder you goddamn motherfucking morron!8
I have nothing against freelancers but this guy... He stinks. He is literally smelly. I don’t think he owns a shower, soap a toothbrush or a shaver.
He looks and smells like he belongs on the streets. And i have to work with him :(
Worst of all is that is is owning way more then i am.2
This guy... starts at 11. Ends at 16:00... And i’m supposed to work with him while my day is 9-17. No communication whatsoever. Great. Fucking great. Im boring my brains out meanwhile.1
Without any proper JS knowledge careeroptions are very limited... and i won't be able to pay my rent without a job :/3
Another fun thing. This morning one of the first mails i read was a issue about a bug in our software.
This was a bug i mentioned months ago but there was nog evidence where i searched like mails chats or tickets.
If people would just listen to me this bug was solved months ago but back then i got a reaction like: "works over here" while i tested it on two different instances with buggy results each time.
Appearently on of my coworkers is working while having a day off. Boss answered the chat with the request to shut the pc because he’s off today :)
Updated my Linkedin status last weekend. The recruiter hell is already starting. Everybody wants a piece of me.2
I told myself for 18 months things like; ‘im being here, working here, and i like it here’.
Also when others left, nothing could break my confidence.
Present moment i’m happy to leave this place. This madhouse. This stressed out place where everybody keeps licking clients asses. Fuck this shit, i’m much better off elsewhere!
I am dreaming of leaving this company while the building burns. Or just before leaving, throwing my pc to pieces.
I wish i could scream: FUCK *company name*!!!
Coworker and dev lead had a discussion about newsletter implementation last friday.
I told them, i’ve tried the setup before, it’s not gonna work, it’s behind an ip-block and they need a backend person.
Lead was convinced it was possible and started drawing stuff.
End result: wasn’t possible.
People really need to start listening around here...
I saw the asstard just wrote his roles on his screen. Appearently he is a lead UX, and a senior Frontend developer. I wouldn’t be surprised if he thinks of himself as a designer and a brand-manager as well. This site was one big fucking mess before i started here, and this guy is taking all credits.
Lead developer about Project X:
“Focus on responsiveness. That will probably take you the rest of the week”
The next day:
“Focus on functionality Y”
MAKE UP THAT MIND FFS?!2
There are two kinds op people. People who like to help because they feel sorry for you, and people who want to help to proof themselves.
The second one is annoying as fuck. Even though i asked for help, it doesn’t mean you are better in it then me.
You should listen to what i have to say. Stuck up anti social asshole.7
Started this day great with the mention that a coworkers contract isn’t suspended.
Thats in freaking 6 months. Workload is already fucking insane, and STILL you fucking decide to fucking fire another fucking person from YOUR fucking company.
This has been the 5th i think and my contract is due to July. If it is prolonged i’m thinking of screwing this company over my going away myself. Bunch of mother fucking idiots.
Ended the day great as well.
Heard that a new person is going for lead promotion. Haha.
He has been here for only two months. :,)
Left and right projects are exploding meanwhile i’m in the middle trying to cut the right wire!
So i had two jobinterviews at a company and i was basically through for a test. It just so happens that the person who should give the test is sick for a couple of weeks. So instead they asked me to send them some code to evaluate.
Today i got an email telling me that the level of my code doesn’t match my years of experience so the process stops here.
Somehow i can’t help myself but to wish that the guy who evaluated my code now just is sick for at least
Funfact: in one of the interviews i was told that they don’t work with junior people. I personally think everyones view on jobtitle/rank is different so i’m not a big fan of it in any case.
However this company LITERALLY has a blog describing how they hired someone without any working experience and thus being a junior.
Guess i’ll be stuck in my current deadend job for a while.1
So stress is back on. Justed wanted to work. Computer crashed.
Deadlines with Windows 10 isn’t a good combo. Booting takes between 15 and 30 minutes ofcourse. Site needs to go live monday.
Last week i had a talk with my boss. Actually he more had a talk with me. Why i wasn’t able to finish my work the sprint before. I told him i had to run not one, but two project at the same time and on top of that had to show a new coworker around.
Some how i keep thinking about quitting this shit.3
Developing a clothing shop and being bored. Adding clients like Napoleon Bonaparte with the comment that this person is missing a hand.
I have seen a developer implement lots and lots of breakpoints. For basically every pixel resolution a new one. Yes, it’s literally pixel perfect. No it isn’t maintainable in any way
Crawling around in a legacy project. Need to rewrite 500 lines of SCSS, to regular CSS. Fuck it. Runs compiler, beautifier and copy paste that shit.4
The procedure of introducing new coworkers here is still not clear to me.
I hear a new person is introduced behind me, so i thought i had to shake a new hand soon. But no.
I probably get an impersonal email in about a week when he/she has been working here for 4 days.
This just crossed my mind. The company i applied at was working with the freaking Wordpress for webshops and still they think i’m not good enough for them. Next time better check the code i send better. Insane. Bunch of fuckheads3
Rejections flying left and right and i’m getting tired of it. I’m already applying for a month and have been to 10 companies, made multiple assignments but it’s the same fucking story every single time.
Time for a goddamn careerswitch. Maybe riding a bus or a truck or so.
Put on big headphones, explain you are busy, or just show that you’re not in a good mood.
No seriously, i so don’t have a problem with PMs here. If i receive 2 emails in a day i can call it busy already. Including the daily standup then ofcourse.2
Was struggling today with some form elements and asked a coworker for help. Coworker start interupting immediately and doesn’t listen to any explaining at all. After trying to get a couple of points a cross he suddenly says: ok, i’m gonna let you finish your sentence...
Thanks twat! Next time show at least a bit of respect and start with that!1
I got my evaluation today. First time in a year that i had a talk longer 30 minutes. 1,5 hours was a bit too much maybe. After an hour i just wanted to get over with it.
Meanwhile i could’ve improved my project...
So we got back the test results and there is still some work todo on the project that should already been done.
We know we have planned you in for this other project but since we have to deliver them both, can you work on two project at the same time and finish those 20 storypoints in 2 hours?
So, i started at this company about 4 months ago. So far i mostly worked in existing project and legacy code.
We started a new project for a pretty big client, and i'm the one who's responsible for setting the project up. The last two days i've been struggling with database issues. Finally got the site running locally about an hour ago.
And now i am running into troubles because i don't know how to set up a project yet since i only worked in existing projects.
Great. Can't say i'm not challenged here!
We have a external demo this thursday. We still need to merge a lot of branches and somehow get a online environment working.
It's 30C and my motivation is dropping by the hour.
At least im not the one to actually have to demo this for people in suits giving you a hard time.
But there are a lot of responsibilities open and no one is taking a lead or having somekind of plan.
Since i hard problems with a slow harddrive i've been asking for a SSD. It took 6 weeks for a SSD to arrive.
It has been laying on my desk for another 4, because busy projects etc.
Last friday i decided to install it. I have to do everything about the install myself. No IT support nothing.
I've been trying to install windows on the SSD For over a day now. And now im fucking done with it. FUCK THIS SHIT. FUCK THE SSD. FUCK THE FUCKING PROJECT AND FUCK THE FUCKING CLIENT. Goddamn morons around here.3
I was promised a new pc with SSD in 2017. I got my own slow but complete pc back in 2018.
The progress is stunning in this company!
IE11 is my fucking enemy lately. We’re trying to keep up with the latest techniques here so we gave CSS Grid a try. Only works partially in IE11 but still important since our old users still use it and it’s responsibe for 5% of all income.3
Because i had some problems on sites in the past that were iOS specific i configured one of the leftover Macs here as a test device. A week later this laptop has been kidnapped and until now it is gone. I can start installing everything again on a new one because one of the fellow workers here is stupid as fuck
Are there other developers who have a version displayed in their test site? We have it now but as a FE i really dislike everything in my viewport that isnt needed or possible to find elsewhere. Feels like the oldschool commercial popup now being red and obvious.1
This is getting kind of annoying now. Everytime i am planned for a (small) project, there is less to no briefing and nobody has a clue what to do.
Then how the hell am i supposed to?2
Working on a bug that in my opinion never worked. “Sr. Dev” dares to say the function has worked before. I’m a 100% sure it never did.
“Yes but everything is being tested before we go live.”
Dude, we have a monkey testing our stuff are you serious!?3
Don't you just love that moment when you see shit,
In a bow.
Through the air.
And actually just starting, just starting, to hit the fan.
Three days before your deadline.
And it is crystal clear the project is gonna end up as a mess.
But the best thing of all: it's not your fault.
So, you are actually celebrating the mess to come a little, and know that you can blame the guy who isn't trusting you as a new guy, and show him, with all his more years experience, he is the one who can't be trusted.1
Schoolproject teammate refuses to pull my changes in git before applying his because he thinks we're going to have conflicts ?!?!?!1
Let’s start the week great with a scrum master complaining about a functionality that isn’t working, and a coworker that’s pointing in my direction.
Go point your finger elsewhere (***)3
So the De-Cix Frankfurt operater sued the german secret service (BND) for taping into the traffic.
They are apparently trying to exclude Traffic from german citizens by filtering for .de domains... Because id never browse any fucking other websites! And not every german website uses .de domains.
The Government justifies this by saying ""If the calculated reference value (Amount of data collected) is increased only strongly enough, the BND (...) can monitor 100 percent of the traffic it really wants (" full take ")."
("Wenn die rechnerische Bezugsgröße nur stark genug erhöht wird, kann der BND (...) den von ihm wirklich gewünschten Verkehr zu 100 Prozent überwachen ("Full Take").")
When will they fucking learn, that mass surveillance is a fucking bad idea?
Article (German): http://sueddeutsche.de/digital/...2
Im getting stalked so much by recruiters right now! Im ignoring a call every 10 minutes and writing back on mail/linkedin ever 15. Fuck offff! Please!
Im collecting all names, mails and numbers and maybe i’ll just fucking mass mail them all haha. And after that sign them up for freaking midgetporn muahahaha
Got a call by a recruiter for a function i already applied at and already got rejected as well.
That was a very fast call!
So i had a challenge with a js slider and i wanted my coworker to think along. I was trying to explain my problem and the steps taken so far but, as always, he wants to interrupt me after to sentences. He somehow always thinks he knows things better.
Dude let me first explain my shit before you start working on your solution. This is pure disrespect asshole!
For the past days i’ve mentioned that i need a backender to create me an extra page in the solution. No attention was given. Backenders where too busy. Today we started a new sprint and i got asked what i’m gonna do.
I told them for the fourth time, i need backend work done to continue.
I got pissed.
Backender got pissed.
And in the end nothing will be done for this cause.
Fuck my life.
Fuck these people.1
I’ve always hated the pixel fucking part in a webdev project. It’s the most frustrating becausing it’s partly about optinions.
I like the pixels better over there
I want this coler greener
Can we make this animation more cool?
Now imagine pixel fucking in 16 devices and 200 resolutions...3
Today is the dealine for the project. Monday is D-day basically. WHY is the manager now asking to see me code? I don’t need any more stress then i already have.
Asshole, I told you if i’ll do it your way we’ll have responsive issues. Now deal with it you f*ckhead
After a big part of the day spending in Angular i decided to do something else. I went studying a bit on how to increase conversion. Partially because this was the main goal of the webdev team in the coming months. The UX designer saw it and told me if he where me he would study more code and scripting.
Like dude. Wtf. Im doing this for 1 in the 8 working hours. Get off my back asshole.1
So, the wanna be lead FE dev came in late this morning. I asked him if everything worked out with his home. Turned out he didn't have an appointment for his home.
He decided to see a friend for breakfast.
Now... This guy is is going through a tough time with a girl but still... wtf. At least tell your coworkers about something like this. Just made up an excuse "for personal reasons".
No he just stays away and nobody knows how what or why. Like... wtf?
Anyway, he's here now. Surfing tech sites as usual. Instead of working on the project in Jira.
And ofcourse project won't be done by the end of the day
So, on top of all my rants from the past... i just noticed that new coworkers, the ones that are just starting in our company are getting brand new macbooks.
Meanwhile i am frustrating the fuck out of my slow Windows machine that i rebooted twice today because it didnt do shit anymore.
I am fucking done here!
So i’m jobless and looking for something new. I had three interviews today and i always mention i’m doing a self study on React.js atm.
However after this i also got asked how i want to develop myself in the future and i’m like: wtf? Are you even paying attention here?
Three interviews is a lot. Time for beer! Have a nice weekend!5
Just received an email from a company i applied while searching for a new job. They sended me this little assigment to show my skills since they had the feeling i couldnt show them much.
(they browsed through 3 of my websites while i was there, including a check on the code)
It was a simple layout assigment. Just a responsive page with a hamburger menu (also mentioned during this interview)
It took me a couple of hours to create it and ive send it back in the hope of some positive feedback.
Feedback: assignment was pretty good but it show a lack of php experience. I was clearly more on the .NET side.
I just sended html, css and js files as requested. HOW THE F* DO YOU COME TO THIS CONCLUSION?!?!
Damn idiots, im glad i found people that actually do know how to hire people!2
One of those awkard moments you’re together with your boss at the coffee machine.
I made the mistake of showing relieve that it’s friday and almost weekend.
Can somebody just shoot me?2
Lol. Because there aren’t backend resources available, frontenders are now implementing Backend functionalitiet with JS. -_-‘3
Yeah he was officially free today but he still managed to come a couple of hours. Fucking asshole go fix your fucking code damn idiot. This whole site is broken. Thanx mr wannabe a leaddev. Hope you crash with your damn racecar2
Coworker during standup this morning: yeah i couldn't work saturday on the project because of VPN problems but i'll stay longer today.
Scrum master goes home.
Coworker, literally 8:10 hours later. Goes home.
He bugfixed another project for an hour and told me i had to work on this project instead of helping another client.
Meanwhile he's bragging about all the experience he has and telling he wants to be the lead dev.
I thought he started early but nope. First drank coffee for another 15 minutes.2
Im done here with the discussions about the capabilities of a senior person. They are looking for a senior frontender and everything being said makes me feel less welcome by the day. Being a frontender myself.
Mark my words: they are looking for a replacement and i’m fired this summer.3
So we’re in a completely bugge stage of the repo and ofcourse the client goes: we want this and that functionality live today. And i can’t say no so now i have to figure out if this is a smart thing to do. I guess its not
Part of the PR feedback was the use of capitals and the conventions. I tried to look up some backup documentation of angular in the styleguide regarding this topic. Didnt find any.
His answer was that it’s a C# convention. DUDE IM NOT PROGRAMMING IN C# AM I ?! You are mixing up conventions between ts, js, ng and now C# how the fuck am i ever going to follow this?!1
So ive been on this project for months. Project lead did not have a role anymore and now they decide this other guy is the new project lead. This while i am the one having to deploy everything and answer questions from mr Free Lance.
Holy crap i gotta find myself a new job, these people are going nuts.
Trying to figure out Material Custom Themes. Goddamn who ever came up with this was either a genius or a donkey. I cannot get a grasp of it. I need a custom palette import this in a custom theme and then make sure this theme is included in my Angular installation.
Why god why?2
Yes and we recently opened a new office in Amsterdam. Because because from Amsterdam only want to do business with people from Amsterdam.
Well great. You think i want to go over there? My company has an office in Switserland. And the previous one in Curacao. I got here because i can bike or even walk this distance if i wanted.3
Wow! My rights to merge work is just revoked. This is fucking bullshit. Whenever i want to merge my work the project lead has to do it. And when he’s sick ill have to go to the fe lead, who is in meetings 24/7. Fucking great2
More talking with manager today. If i wanted to check out the 200+ issue backlog to see if there is anything i can pick up.
I was just laughing. I already do that on a weekly basis. It’s not that i dont want to work!
So we have a demo tomorrow and it looks like i’m going to have to do it all on my own. Thats a first. I can already get a client frustrated whenever they are on the phone.2
So im new here and trying to find my way. There is one colleague who's been sick for a couple of days and just came back.
Note on the appearence of this person: big, tattooed bearded, but im not scared easily ;)
Trying to introduce myself: "Hi, let's shake hands: i'm [name]"
Colleague: "Are you sure about that?"
Yeah. Great week with awkard interactions so far!4
So I’m the frontend developer in this company. I am the one with 10 years of experience when it comes to html, css and js.
How can it be then that I’m not invited to frontend meetings?
I checked the meetings colleages have and came across a excel sheet. My name is mentioned about 10 times in this sheet. Which was what the meeting was about. However I am not a part of this? Wtf?3
I was in a meeting the other day which started with a introducing of the members and a basic explanation about scrum.
The meeting ended with the note form the client that the project was absolutely not allowed to cost more then X.
After the meeting a coworker asked who explained scrum to the client. And it was explained twice by two different people.
My gf got a new job and needs to learn some programming. Hope she likes it.
On the other hand i appear to have a bore-out from work. So sick at home now and having to visit the doctor tomorrow. Ofcourse i’ve been going through the future conversation like a 100 times.
But i don’t think it’s a good sign if you burst out in tears at your job right?5
I was already done with the company that couldn't make up their mind about JS. I got a mail:
They're stopping the procedure because they're looking for someone that also enjoys coding in their spare time. In other words: work 80 hours a week.
Director walked in asking about the new homepage which we’re currently running an A/B test for. This page has been made and discussed by her direct colleague, the general director.
While walking though the page together with my colleage the designer the encounter a broken link.
Easy to fix ofcourse, and so we did, but shortly after he went back to hos room my colleage got an email asking who was responsible for this mistake.
It’s not one person. In first instance it’s our 6 headed web team. But after we deliver it multiple people test the page, and also the company who creates the A/B test sees tests and confirms.
This all happened during my holidays, but still i feel also responsible.
Couple of tiny mistakes, and still nobody in this whole process notices.
(At least 10 persons)
HOW THE HELL is that possible?!3
There is a hack-a-ton here till 23:00. The new guy i am i was thinking of staying and see where i can help...
Last couple of days i've been working on a project (my first real one yay) and at first i got lots of help to get me started.
Right now im completely stuck and everybody is busy here. No help anymore. Fml
The weather is hell atm here in Holland so, even thought i don't feel like staying anymore i think i still stay, and see if i can learn something new.1
Applied to 4 companies last weekend. One of them didnt even have proper working contact forms (they all gave somekind of 503 error).
I even took the effort to just mail them my resumé, do i receive an answer that they are looking for someone with React experience.
I looked over the function a second time, no mention of React anywhere.
To whoever is working over there or ever going to work over there; i already feel sorry for you.
We have a nerf gun in the office here and i'm at the point that whenever i here a click, there is a *duck, hide and roll* part of me triggered. I just saw a guy opening a soda can when i noticed this1
Ok, im hired here as a frontender. Formally the designer did a bit of it. The site is shit. I want to fix everything about it basically. But, the thing is that we are working according to gitflow so someone has to check my code. But backend is like: thats frontend. And the designer is too busy and just wants to see the pixels. So who is check my PR’s now? Guess i’ll do it eventually... it’s going to test first anyway3
I started looking for something else. Send out my resume sunday, got an answer today and i’m invited.
Probably have an evaluation at the current company at the end of the month and i either want to have a plan B ,or just be gone soon because i’m the only frontender and i’m bored here most of the time.2
So i had the jobinterview this morning. I got the question what my current team looks like.
Yes well, i am the team because i’m the only frontend developer here.2
If i could estimate a schema issue. I looked at this site once in my time here. Don’t know shit about schema’s.
Im not asking you an estimate for example building a rocket. Right?
I don’t know this shit.
Week before this i had to assign a task for a mailing to a coworker of mine. So i handed him the documentation (partly on paper).
He finished his part and now i need to continue the works.
I asked him the documentation. He told me he shredded it and threw it away. Thanks coworker. You are being useless like never before.1
The last ten days i’ve been working on some animations for this website. Basic stuff but when you make elements move on scroll, people go wild.
The designer had a big opinion on this ofcourse.
So big she hád to scroll through the page herself.
So, multiple times a day, for the past two weeks she came over, checked animations, and gave a bit feedback on what could be improved.
She never mentioned the labels that where only appearing on scroll. Everything was just fine after 9 days.
However on day #10 i got a bug that the labels had to be appearing “just after loading the page”.
Like what?! Are people to dumb to scroll 2mm on a page? Damn ho. Wtf do you mean with “just after loading the page”. 1sec? 2sec? 10sec?1
Couple of years ago i was working on a custom webshop with a third party designer and a manager. The manager didnt do his job right in my eyes. Didn't have overview of the tasks and was way too busy/lazy/stressed whatever.
Eventually i could go figure things out with the designer myself because he wanted some crazy menu structure.
So crazy i knew for sure that the usability wouldn't come to good.
Eventually deadline was past due and the projectmanager got me fired.
While back the brand i made the shop for went bankrupt.
What comes around gets around eventually.2
Coworker is trying to make me look bad by posting a piece of code in the group chat...
We’ve talked to the client a couple of weeks ago that they are totally screwing up the process with changing prio’s and wanting a deploy every other day.
We are in a new sprint and it just happens again. We have this presentation and blabla it needs to go live NOW!
I’m so tired of this project...1
Nothing to do. No fucking work here and im not hired for BE. Fucking BE doesn't do shit and im here like ZzZzZz. New job interview next thursday. Screw this shit!2
Goddammit. I have like 4 projects on my name and a planner who is like; see whenever you have time1
This guy! I have a week off and he decides to rewrite the videos and video popups in this site.
He made it all so general that every video is loaded in every page AND auto plays.
Whenever a user is visiting his or her orders it plays all thos videos simulteously while not showing any video.
My planning says i’m working on project A and B this week. Scrummaster (who also makes the planning) says i’m working on project C and D.
So much for the reliability of planning here.
Guess who is running teo projects at the same time. F’d up planning over here. Seriously i’m bothered by 5 people at the same time. How the heck am i supposed to work like this?
Contractmeeting in 1,5 hour. Its either permanent or i'm 'kicked out'. Option two would be the 4th time already. Whatever the outcome, i'll be ok!3
Couple of days ago i heard that the wannaB lead is going to leave us. I asked here if anyone could please fire the guy and... They actually kinda fired him...
The guy has serious skills but didn't live up to his promises.
I wonder who's next...
So there is this project from hell that ive been working on for 6 months...
We have won an award for it. First reaction when i heard it was nominated was: Do you think i’m happy with this? This project has taken blood sweat and tears goddammit.
But today the actual piece of glass came in. I can’t help but to feel proud.
Hey 10 new tickets for me today. Hey all 10 are Backend. I feel like i know sh*t. Let's just not do this and be bored instead.
First dev project? In Holland we had a social media site back in the day called CU2. You could put in your own html/css and style your profile the way you wanted.
For professional work it was a landingpage for a healthcare related page.
So, a new coworker started here about two months ago. He's all about talking but the actions aren't very fast.
I looked at my Pull Request and this guy is writing comments for 5. Where the hell did he get the balls from? Seriously!
Please stand next to the designer so i can slap both of you bitches.
Talking over an assignment for an angular app a couple of months ago: responsiveness was not important and not a part of the scope. Its for internal use and nobody will do this on his phone.
Today the designer, next to me (on his iPad). With a look on his face like he sees water burning, why isn’t it responsive?2
And i spoke to an old colleague who’s interested in the senior Frontend vacancy we have. So he had a tip that i told my direct colleagues about. “I expect a senior frontend developer to come with a lot more than that”. People need to lower their expectations. Seriously. Be. Fucking. Content. For. Once!1
Designer wanted to help me making a certain part of the new layout responsive. After about 1.5 hours of struggling with a CodePen he comes back to me and says: yeah i can’t i would set it up in a totally different way.
Two weeks before that he suggested that i would rebuild it in this exact way.
So on friday i got a super speed course on how to develop a new styleguide in Angular with Storybook. Superspeed because fellow dev went on vacation for a week. Today is monday and i forgot everything i need to know.
This is gonna be a difficult week :/2
Finally the site is live. Today all stress was gone again. Still a pity that i have 7 pull requests out of 10.
Trying to set up a FIX connection for my project, but the guy who provides the credentials replies once a day at 11 at night. He works in the US too. I'm convinced he's a vampire now.
Wanted to remove a underline from links that was seemly coming from a default cmd css.
Even with !important it wasn't working. Why? Why wasn't it just working?
30m later i found out i selected text-underline instead of decoration. -_-'
After 8 years i feel so stupid, i should just like i should apply at mcDonalds and just start flippin burgers...1
I can not emphasize enough as a webdeveloper how totally stunning the Apple website is. It’s at least just as amazing as their products and it doesn’t even cost any money for us to browse it and get inspired by it. Really top notch gorgeous pixels. *drool*4
Getting feedback from a client like: "on mobile left is right and right is left"
Wtf am i supposed to make out of this1
Ok, im hired here as a frontender. Formally the designer did a bit of it. The site is shit. I want to fix everything about it basically. But, the thing is that we are working according to gitflow so someone has to check my code. But backend is like: thats frontend. And the designer is too busy and just wants to see the pixels. So who is checking my PR’s now? Guess i’ll do it eventually... it’s going to test first anyway2
Im put on this project.. But i don’t feel taken seriously.
Lead dev says: go make some html templates. Meanwhile, he is building the exact same thing in the cms.
Right, so what is my work worth then? Nothing
This week started of so great...
Monday the client called if we can put the project live this week. Impossible since we’re already stressed out with a tight schedule .
“But what if we put more developers on the project?”
Now im busy with one of the latest pages and ofcourse the designer has a special opinion about the usability.
Asked second opinion by lead developer.
“Its all wrong and thats a learning point. So just do it like this and that”
Resulting in fucking responsive problems i already foresee.
I’m so screwed
And here I am. All alone. Struggling with Angular. Not getting any help. Not getting any further. *sigh*4
Fucked up day. Again. Yesterday and the day before i had to build JS functionalities basically on my own. And JS is still a weak point.
Today i came to the conclusion there is still too much to do and i’m not gonna be able to fix it in time. Again.
Funny shit is; people are pushing for core JS functions and skills because of speed and such, but even the lead dev with 15 years experience is switching to jQuery constantly.
I’m not even sure about his JS skills atm.
Yesterday we got the news that another contract is ended. I’m almost looking forward to mine. I guess i’m next this summer. And on to job #6
Yay, starting a new job this wednesday! Really stoked! But, will ofcourse also let the option open for this global organization which will interview me tomorrow. To be honest with you: i don't feel worthy enough working for this big multinational thats active in 75 countries.
I asked for first design feedback in weeks. I got a pissed off answer that he is losing patience. Seriously? YOU are losing your patience? Like you are the one working on this day in day out haha. Fukkoff1
So, we should be done with the redesign project for this site and a while back we got feedback from the client.
Now getting feedback isn't a bad thing, until you get 6 pages of feedback.
6 pages of feedback. It took me several hours to plow through it and check everything.
That was three weeks ago. They now want me to check the entire fucking list again, and then some more.
When i started hete i was told that this was one of the easiest clients the company had. Because they see us as the experts. Haha.
Appearently not anymore.2
Stayed for the hack-a-ton last night. Had so much fun! And everybody actually came up with a working product in a couple of hours. Amazing :).
Too bad the initiator of the whole thing went home early. Doesn't really show interest.
That was jobinterview #1. Where actually more looking for someone with design experience. Ow well, didn't click anyway. The recruiter could've known this :/1
Wondering: What does define a BIG project for you?
I just noticed we're approaching the deadline and there are at least 6000 lines of css. Not my personal biggest so far in terms of lines. I think i worked on projects with 10.000 lines9
Also the designer: lets change every basic style this site has. Refactor the fonts, the colors and all sections.
Sure, great idea to totally fuck up this site!
Paycheck currently isn't compensating the current workload anymore.
I feel like we are missing 10 couple of hands while only three people are on vacation1
We have a new official and probably for now final Lead Developer.
Asking questions like: What happens after is push code to bitbucket? -_-‘
Next time i’ll answer that the building will explode.
They are thinking of hiring a freelancer for Senior Frontend development.
I made a quick calculation but if they want to rebuild this entire site in Angular it’s gonna cost them at least €100.000. And they are dutch *kuch* cheapskates.1
So, I’m working with Angular now since December. A bit off and on. And there is this app on my plate. And I’m f’n stressed since I don’t know Angular all that well and, things need to get done.
So I try often things by myself and often find myself staring at my screen feeling like I’m to understand Chinese.
Today and yesterday I got loads and loads of feedback and I’m trying to implement this all, and doing the best I can.
Although I’m stressed and a month ago I actually took a week off because of a burnout/Boreout.
So meanwhile, I’m doing some therapy and try and stop the negative thoughtflow. But I’m also feeling very lost and alone in this project. Because my questions don’t get answered.
We have to work from home and also we have to work less since the company is not doing very well in this crisis.
Also before the whole shithole began I was looking for another job because I lack the confidence that I will keep this current one. Still looking and two rejections further.
I’m trying meditation to cope with all this.1
If you are looking for a new job elsewhere, how open and honest about thos would you be with current company/colleages? I’m a bit tired of making up excuses about this...
Your website is slow. Your icons don’t show immediately. Says one boss to the other. Meanwhile i’ve spend already days on this issue am aware of it since 12 motnhs. But hey, since it’s the boss, let me just check one more time and make sure this is more about someones internet connection then the loading speed of the website.
Jeej first project. Read: 101 FE bugs to fix. In code i've never seen before. With bare minimum support. Though day. First steps with Gulp are set. yay1
Job number 5. Also this contract is not suspended. I reslly starting to feel like doing a fucking careerswitch
As a not-freelancer, whats the amount of companies you worked for?
This was #4 and im beginning to doubt myself. Maybe i should do start some other career or something.2
IE Edge is supposed to be the browser to hate as a dev. However over here for my new temporary PC it isnt installed at all. Windows 10 WTF?! I need this shitty browser for test purposes1
So, been working for almost 2 weeks now at the new job. Worked fairly much on one of their sites and today they have a meeting with the client regarding this site. Ofcourse now is the moment for this site to be f'd up. OFCOURSE!
How should i able to develop/solve bugs when there are multiple people testing and everybody has different opinions, or are looking at cached environments?!
This is the 4th day at my new job. Just got a call from Unilever. Im invited for a second interview there. First world problems of a developer. What job to choose :/
When a job applicant on an assigment is asking me questions about the assigment i don’t have much hope for him/her... Maybe better next time
Is it just me, or are there more frontend developers that feel they are solving more bugs then actually creating pages?
Nobody ever tells me i’m not good enough. They always say: Maybe you should talk to X, or maybe you should ask Y. Well both of X and Y are either too busy, not in the office at all and ofcourse just as incompetent as myself, so they give a short excuse instead of being helping in a pro active way.
Also 3D transform has it’s limitations and can’t actually twist a 2D form in a “organic way”. Now i’ll focus on things that do matter like the header thats decided to change colour on a smaller screen.
This person has never heard of the saying that there is no 'I' in team. He just focuses on the code not communicating whatsoever. F*CKtard
Meanwhile i'm trying to fix everything that broke down since yesterday 00:00.
Meanwhile other coworkers are also screaming their project is on fire...
should i quit?2
Also the designer: lets change every basic style this site has. Refactor the fonts, the colors and all sections.
Sure, great idea to totally fuck up this site!
I have to learn to work with this new cms. And me and a coworker have been struggling with custom faq templates. We told the lead dev multiple times we need help to get this to work.
Still no help.
Im gonna put this on him in the demo.
It's almost a week later since i got the note i'm not welcome anymore soon in my current company.
After 6 days i figured out a reason other then: "the fe/be tranfer doesnt go well". I just don't want to blame be-guy because he was busy as hell with at least three projects at the same time.1
Yes but you see this function everywhere so why is it so hard for us to implement?
Next time i’m gonna say that this function is everywhere, but why is it so difficult to design?
That moment when you are struggling for hours to get your validation working, and in the end it's just a name that had to be turned into an id -_-
Aaaand going through recruiter hell again! Not even 1 hour later i already receveid 10 phonecalls.3
Sat with the designer yesterday to look at the current state of the homepage and got 15 point to pick up.
Today i’m almost done, i asked him one question: got another 6 points to fix.
Fucking great. You could’ve mentioned this yesterday...
Nobody gives a rats ass about what i’m trying to accomplish here. Really nobody gives a fucking shit about frontend. I need to leave asap.3
Yes! Really fun meeting with the client going through all 180 bugs seeing more as we go . Client getting more frustrated by the minute. Woo! Wondering when she’ll start punching people
Anybody else struggeling with the amount of work? Either it's crazy busy or crazy silent. What do you do in each case?2
So we decided on trying some Angular stuff. I’m the only one in the team who actually took the effort of actually doing some work in Angular.
After a week i had trouble with the last 10% of this page, building in logics this is a step too far for mw right now.
Next to me is a coworker with LOADS of Angular experience. Who probably fixes this last 10% in a day. Max two.
Now I have to follow a fucking course to get this angular thing. Just to keep me busy, instead of the quick way and let the local Angular guru take a look at this shit.
My god i’m so done with this company!!!2
Last days i’m digging in the legacy of this company. As if the first styleguide i had to work with wasnt worse enough i found two others now that are using different frameworks and are not part of the deployment process.
So far i had fractal, now busy with patternlab and yesterday foundation and the latest one; storybook.
There is duplicate code everywhere how on earth do they expect me to keep any kind of overview in this freaking mess they made?!
If i’m having a hard day i tend to put on some relaxing music. Often acoustic or even just some meditation music.
If i notice i go crazy because of the chat i close it completely.
Also there are big 500ml cans of energy drinks here in the office that can come to good use
Back of two weeks holiday i have to readjust to being new in angular development again. The longer i work on this app the less overview i’m creating. I feel like throwing it all away and start over now.
Goddammit, newb here is busy in an old project of mine. I don’t have time for guidance and he’s just going to fuck things up now. Pretty sure about that.
Who will be the one cleaning up the mess next week?
Scrolling numbers in Spotify on a iPad while i was listening on the other side of the office while rebooting phone etc.
Best i can do is sticking a stickynote under a mouse. Fun for 0,5 sec
One day the full stack developer knows to explain angular in great detail really clearing things up for me. Lately he has a go f* attitude. Basically refusing any explanation at all. Not that he owes me, but he is the chosen one. The one with actual angular experience. And the only one.
Other teammember isnt doing or caring shit at all but is screaming about senior skills any way.
I need to get out.
But there are no jobs :( feel like ive seen it all and seriously thinking about a career change. Maybe start my own business. Who knows.
Do you know how epic coding sessions van become when you turn on classic radio on Spotify and LOTR comes along?
Im rebuilding a certain page in Angular. Looking at certain functionality i found out that a news subscription is broken on the current page. However i still need to implement this? But why? It’s not working?1
Let's start the week fresh and reboot the PC with some updates. Also because of the while WannaCry drama.
Ok after 10 minutes of 'waiting for profile service' i just pressed the button. Time is precious!