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Search - "award"
Congrats to Rami Malek for winning Emmy Award for best lead actor in a drama series - Mr. Robot. He was stunned to win over heavy competition. Must be a modest guy.4
Can we all just take one moment to convey this? Tricking people in to believing they're safe. Is this developer legit?14
So our company hired a new COO few months ago, and he oversees digital department as well
recently he called the digital department into his office to talk about a new campaign for a client, and client's mascot is a ladybug, so he goes like this
COO: So i was thinking, we need to make people more aware about the new branch opening
COO: I have a creative / innovative idea, we probably can get an award for this and I'm sure client will be really impressed with this. Why don't we put ladybugs on Google homepage, just walking around flapping their wings and stuff, i mean everyone visits Google right ?
Our Team: awkwardly looking at each other
( I was confused what to think )
Then our designer calmly explained him why it wouldn't work while we were trying our best not to laugh
how the fuck someone like him manage to stay alive all these years and become a COO, i mean he doesn't have to know it all but damn this is common sense10
I don't give a shit how many awards your website design has allegedly won. When you autostart videos or music without asking or warning me, I'll leave without even looking at your fucking 'award-winner', you fucking pricks.
Yeah, yeah, 'let's take this shit to a new level', my arse. If deafening people with videos or music that doesn't even have the faintest thing to do with your startup idea or product is your idea of innovation or progress, the only way you'll be taking shit to a new level is by crapping your pants in an elevator.
And the award for the most ridiculous article in tech goes to...
This article is an interview of the CEO of one of the biggest companies in India17
and the award for most downvotes stackoverflow post, is… well, stackoverflow. I posted this a while ago, but it got much better. -247, what a beautiful number. apparently there's a stackechange app, but instead of fixing its bugs, they made a stackoverflow app that does the same thing. go and give those cocksuckers a big, fat downvote! more pics and link in comments.8
So my fucking ex-magazine publishes MY website design and SUBMITS it to a local Press Awards.
THEY FUCKING WIN BEST PRESS WEBSITE AND DIDNT FUCKING CREDIT ME.
why this pisses me off? Because the second award they received has a mention of who in the organization is responsible for the award :)
Anyway, I'll be calling my lawyer shortly :D14
Me: Hey let's do A to help the website.
PO: Yeah that sounds good. but let's do some research about it.
6 months later.
PO: Hay let's do A to help the website.
CTO/CEO/PO's boss: amazing idea. Here's an award and some money for that.
Me: What. The. F...6
The award of fastest internet on earth goes to me :D
its just Ubuntu was not able to update date/time settings during setup cuz I had wifi turned off, turned it back on and ran apt-get update, must have started before the system was able to update its date/time settings, so ya I did not photshop :)11
Special Awards: In a previous life, I employed a South African gentleman by the name of Jack Howell. He had a thing about finding other South African ex-pats, and could often be heard asking people on the phone “Are you by any chance from South Africa?”.
Jack Howell would also do very stupid things. Like forget to come to work. When asked, he’d come up with random excuses - “It was my wife Gwyneth’s fault”, or “I was confused, I took wrong turnings”. Generally, he was a bit of a twat, and had a weird kind of smile he’d give you.
After he left the company, we came up with the idea of having an award for whoever acted the most like Jack Howell on a given day, or week. It was known as The Jack Howell Award. The award itself was whatever shitty thing we could find at the time - a construction made of folded paper and paper clips, or a weird 3 inch statue from a charity shop, or whatever really naff-beyond-belief item we could find at the time.
Where I work now, we have a shitty 12 inch statue of a woman with a dog that turned up in our office, courtesy of our Maintenance Manager. This is the new Jack Howell award. Currently awarded to a senior dev colleague who spent a day chasing a missing variable.3
That moment you write some magnificent code and everyone is sleeping so you can't share it with anyone but you feel like the room should turn into an exciting musical where you win an award. (Best code can ONLY be written between the hours of 12am and 6am)
The next day, you try to explain to your significant other (user) how amazing this new genius way of doing that "thing" was, in hopes of sharing your excitement but all you get is a "you're such a dork" instead.
You may even try to share it with a coworker or fellow programmer but somehow they just don't see how exciting it is for you.
You know what REALLY PISSES ME THE FUCK OFF? Two pupils in my school won a local IT award FOR CODING A FUCKING PHP VOTING SITE WHICH DESIGN WAS SO FUCKING UGLY I WANT TO VOMIT. THE SITE IS SO FUCKING SHIT THAT YOU CAN VOTE AS MANY TIMES AS YOU WANT AND THERE ARE NO IPS LOGGED TO PREVENT IT. WHAT THE FUCK. THE QUESTIONS ARE FUCKING HARDCODED AND THE RESULT NUMBERS ARE STORED IN A TXT FILE THAT IS ACCESSIBLE WITH THE RIGHT URL12
** Takes a deep breath **
I know I'm late for this weekly topic as well, but I needed time to get ready to confess:
Week 87: The award for the most incompetent coworker goes to... Me.
There's not a reason except maybe because I'm aware of almost all mistakes I make, and no one ever has made so many mistakes like me (that I know of).
Or just simply because I don't think I'm competent. 🤷🏻♀10
“I won it! It’s a major award!”
I’d like to thank the Academy, @dfox, and all the devRanters who ++’d my story about my boss wanting me to change the YouTube to look like our website.2
Let me just get right down to it.
FUCK YOU Hewlett-fucking-Packard FOR YOUR SHITTY LAPTOPS! Don't you even keep your customer's needs in mind when you design these things? Besides all the bloatware you stuff into the Windows you ship it with, at least make the quality of your shit better. These flimsy screens and loose hinges, I've had to get that shit replaced multiple times in just the past year.
Want to upgrade to an SSD or plug in more RAM? Guess what! I've to tear the whole thing apart! Keyboard, palm rest, all if it! What even happened to just popping a cover at the bottom to swap out the hard drive!? I have to fucking congratulate you, you fucking cunts, for making an easy process as difficult as it can fuckin possibly get. You guys deserve an award for this, preferably presented to you, shoved up your asses.9
When you tell collegue A that you are nominating collegue B for the "Bleep award" (the person that swears alot) and person B overhears some words and comes to see what's up and says.
B: what's happeneing here?
A: we nominating people for awards
B: fuck that shit
I'm actually happy with my vote now3
Take more math than you need. Seriously. Computers are made of math. Nobody ever got an award for best looking web page. People do get awards for actual science.6
When Team Lead of Design (HTML) department wins PROGRAMMER OF THE YEAR award annual award of your organization :|
And Sr Tester wins GEEK OF THE YEAR :|
No personal vendetta but what the fuck :/5
Today I gave my Network assessment (code) on an A4 sheet as told by the professor. He will later type the code and check if runs or not and award marks !!
ಠ▃ಠ 凸ಠ益ಠ)凸 Where is my stress ball?5
In order to reduce support costs, manager instructed his team to remove all logging/reporting of errors in the company’s CRM application.
Team’s support tickets went down 80%, manager received an award for his efforts, but mysteriously, DBA/support workload increased, bad/missing data,
increased support tickets in other areas of the business (shipping, etc. that relied on correct data from the CRM) and other side-affectual behavior.
Even after pointing this out this correlation, showing before/after code, no one believed the two were related and I was accused of not being a ‘team player’.
“You and the other teams need to learn from his example!”. As ‘punishment’ was I was moved to the team managing the CRM application.1
Rant mode: The guy in charge of the database were working on cannot even add a few lines of data without deleting all the data in the table and reloading it using a wizard!
And he recently got a "Best D.B.A. Award"?!
This is why I don't trust those who brag about their certificates.3
Me and my colleague where debugging an issue with a 3rd party provider we are integrating with, we received this error result:
Making the request failed (dunno why)
The award of best error message goes to those fellas T_T4
We're having a favorite hackathon projects vote at work tomorrow. Basically each team are given 5 minutes to present their project and we'll vote the most interesting project for a favorite project award.
I'll give my vote to whichever team confuse me the quickest.2
I won a Site of the day award on css winner today. I was happy for a minut and now i feel like shit. Acheving goals makes me feel empty. I hate my brain.5
GIT COMMMIT LOG VERSION 011
4cc7d0d Derp, asset redirection in dev mode
6b6e213 Lock S-foils in attack position
1e44549 I am even stupider than I thought
2f6bec9 You should have trusted me.
891851a To those I leave behind, good luck!
3367d77 Update .gitignore
46d6b0f Merging the merge
b12f6fe First Blood
9151ff4 Finished fondling.
8358c20 c&p fail
bc1e834 magic, have no clue but it works
31bb17a I don't get paid enough for this shit.
7a71610 Stephen rebase plx?
2060661 Copy-paste to fix previous copy-paste
21ac5d2 Handled a particular error.
2dedd90 pam anderson is going to love me.
c3d4c83 omg what have I done?
d38bafd Herping the derp derp (silly scoping error)
e461773 Merge pull request #67 from Lazersmoke/fix-andys-shit Fix andys shit
1faf82b Is there an award for this?
1f6e3f3 Feed. You. Stuff. No time.
6f0097d I'm too old for this shit!
133179e I'm just a grunt. Don't blame me for this awful PoS.
57d9a7c THE MEM TEST FUNCTION YOU ARE LOOKING FOR, IS HERE. SAY THANKS FOR THIS COMMIT MESSAGE
Gives an award winning VR idea to our 'Digital Manager'
Says it's too hard for us to do ( it wasn't ) , goes out and pitches it to another digital agency for 'Help', ( mainly coz of the freelance commission )
They go ahead with the idea and make their campaign with it.
we don't get anything. no credit, nothing.
I wonder how the hell someone become a manager with that much of stupidity.2
and the award for maybe not the most incompetent, but certainly most annoying co-worker goes to the one colleague who put two identical DBs onto our shared development server and named them nearly exactly the same. And then there is me nearly pulling my hair out over why the fuck I'm getting an "unknown column" SQL error for a column I just added to a table...
For fucks sake, why? Sometimes I'm the biggest fucking idiot around. I just searched for 2 god damn hours why liquibase/hsqldb couldn't find my procedure. Turns out it's neither a faulty pom.xml nor some syntax error - it's a spelling error in the classname.
Now I know how it feels to code on paper again.
It's was the forth year of my college, in the corner of the world in south India, I wanted to something to combine both medicine and the coding that I learnt, I started learning about heart murmurs, it's basically a skill based diagnosis that only 1 in 20 heart specialists can make by hearing the heart beat and listening to a small murmur that happens during the systolic cycle or the diastolic cycle. I wrote a program to learn a lot of sample murmurs and try to find (very bad hand made logic) the similarities between two wave patterns, the problem started with noise so I went out and built a new stethoscope with a carbon mic inside a normal stethoscope head and try filtering the sound at source (worked well enough at that time) I then tried to find people to test it on, but alas I was not able to find patients as doctors are not supposed to reveal them etc. I wanted to show them visually how a murmur pattern would look like and I stole some code and made a plotter for the wav file and presented everything. By that time I got a lot of close amazing friends involved and they helped me solidify the project and we won the best project award and I got my first gold medal of my life at the end of my academic life :) it was one of the best moments of my life. Second only to the joy of getting married to wife. May be third if I put getting a job in Microsoft India Development Center.
I still wish I could dig that code up and write it properly with what I have learnt today but work is never ending and I find great problems to solve everyday which I know I can make a difference, may be when I get retired I will dust out that CD with the decades old c++ code and write one last program...3
New game on steam, Middle-earth.
Showing absolutely no in game footage and asks you to pre-order for some bullwhip award.
Don't pre-order, please kill this type of behavior.
What is it even, rpg, rts?6
Worst interview experience was a marathon. 3 interviews in a day.
I asked the recruiter to assemble them like that after I had to remind her I was still employed and could go about having interviews all week. I took a day off and departed.
The first interview was with a company that had moved fro their previous address. Since the recruiter obviously checked that, I got to the right place late and with little mojo left.
The second interview was with a company that explained to me how they actually did not need my expertise.
The third was with a company that had just won Apple's Best of the Year award:
Me: So how is it having received the award?
Him: Nah, it's just another one. You get used to it.
[A little more interview]
[We wrap things up and stand up to leave]
Him: Well, thanks for stopping by and talking to us. And sorry we had to do this at our ping pong table. You know, the CEO and I are always playing. He says he's the best, but I always beat him.
All of that sprinkled with a very energising bellyache I had to take to the toilet every now and then (no idea what I ate the night before).
After the marathon, I told the recruiter the third company seemed the most promising, although I couldn't see myself working with someone that pretentious, to which she replied "I thought you had very similar personalities and you have a lot in common".
WHAT?! I've never said anything like that my whole life and now you're telling me you know me from the three fucking phone calls we had?
From that moment on, I've moved away from recruiters and towards networking.1
Idiot award goes to me. Trying to connect to my WiFi Tried to install wpa_supplicant. No other Internet connection2
Real, seriously honest feedback wanted.
What do you do when you are stuck at a place that has potential but it is being run by someone with the wrong idea?
For example: not to toot my own horn, but I shine at front end Development. Not just slicing up designs, but seriously creating amazing user experiences. And honestly, there is no shortage of work for that ... every client we have has an expectation that their site or application will look awesome. And we have some very big clients.
That said, the manager truly believes that we are all inter-changeable and should have no preference. As a result, John Doe over there who has zero ability in front end gets tasked with building the front end of what should be an amazing app... while I eventually get tasked with some sitecore bullshit that I have no interest in.
And it goes on and on and on.
It is no coincidence that anytime the dice land on me for front end, it wins an award and always ends with an awesome thank you from the customer.
I am not sure what to do, because it just makes no sense to me. And this is just one example of the mismanagement.
Team lead has no idea whats going in project , who is doing what work , nothing at all. Come to our team once a week and got award for successfully managing the project.
And the award for the least intelligent feature request on Github goes to...
The guy that wants a callback for when the QR code has been scanned successfully.
In a library that generates QR codes.
Windows store is so scuffed lul, I wanted to play sea of thieves so I downloaded the game on the Windows store since it is the only place you can get it for PC. But when I go to install it windows says "error, sea of thieves could not be downloaded at this time try again later" so I try again and again then finally I turn to the sea of thieves Reddit for some help and it turns out a lot of people have had the same issue with the exact same error code! But you will never guess what the solution is no no go ahead guess... You have to click the retry install button again and as soon as you press it YOU HAVE TO RESTART YOUR SYSTEM... WELL DONE WINDOWS YOU HAVE WON THE AWARD FOR THE MOST SCUFFED SOFTWARE STORE!
Client used IR35 as an excuse to not say thanks for helping them win an award. Been working on a contract for a firm for 3.5 years. I single handedly architected lead, recruited a front end dev and built the site (along with that other contractor).
The other day they won an award for the site. I didn't expect to be on the official thank you list (they named and thanked everyone involved) but they even excluded me and the other contractor (who granted was short term) from the internal email. Their reasons? IR35 and they're protecting me.... My rates are now being adjusted for the work I actually do!2
After the long haul of designing, structuring and finally implementing, my side project is done. The only challenge I faced was to not lose interest or get distracted :p
I made this to get a hang of haskell. It adds haskell functionality to your shell and lets you apply functions to outputs of other programs(ls,ps,df etc)
Your honest feedback is highly valued.
First time ever I put a bounty(stackoverflow) on my question. Didn't get a satisfactory answer till the end but found out the reputation does get deducted!
Now, that I think about it, it makes sense as people might not award bounties to save their reps otherwise.
Story of my first successful project
Being part of a great team, I've shared in a lot of successes, one I am particularly proud of is my first attempt to use agile methodologies in a deeply waterfall-managment culture.
Time was June/July-ish and we applied for a national quality award where one key element in the application stated how well we handled customer complaint resolution.
While somewhat true (our customer service is the top-shelf good stuff), we did not have a systematic process in resolving customer complaints. Long story short,
the VP lied on her section of the application. Then came the 'emergency', borderline panic meeting (several VPs, managers, etc) to develop a process to better manage
complaints before the in-house inspection in December.
As most top priority projects go, the dev manager allocated 3 developers, 2 DBAs, and any/all network admins we would need (plus all the bureaucratic management that wanted their thumb in the pie).
Fast forward to August, after many, many planning meetings, lost interest, new shiny bouncing balls, I was the only one left on the project. The VP runs into the dev manager in the hallway and asks "Is my program done yet? If its not ready before December with report-able data, we will not win the award."
The <bleep> hit the fan...dev manager comes by...
Frank: "How the application coming along? Almost done?"
Me:"No, haven't really started coding. You moved Jake and Tom over to James's team, Tina quit, and you've had me sidetracked helping other teams because the DBAs are too busy."
Frank: "So, it's excuses. You really think the national quality award auditors care about your excuses? The specification design document has been done for months. This is unacceptable."
Me: "The VP finished up her section yesterday and according to the process, we can't start coding until the document is signed off."
Frank: "Holy f<bleep>ing sh<bleep>t! No one told you *you* couldn't start. You know how to create tables and write code."
Me: "There is no specification to write to. The design document is all about how they plan on reporting the data, not how call agents will be using the application to serve customers."
Frank: "The f<bleep> it isn't. F<bleep>ing monkeys could code against that specification, I helped write it! NO MORE F<bleep>ING EXCUSES! This is your top priority from now on!"
I was 'cleared' to work directly with the call center manager and the VP to develop a fully integrated customer complaint management system before December (by-passing any of the waterfall processes that would get in the way).
I had heard about this 'agile' stuff, attended a few conference tracks on the subject, read the manifesto, and thought "I could do this.".
Over the next month, I had my own 'sprints' and 'scrums' with the manager (at the time, 'agile' was a dirty word so I had to be careful of my words and what info I shared) and by the 2nd iteration had a working prototype.
Feature here, feature there (documenting the 'whys' and 'whats' along the way), and by October, had a full deployed application.
Not thinking I would get a parade or anything, the dev manager came back from a meeting where the VP was showing off the new app to the other VPs (and how she didn't really 'lie' on the application)
Frank: "Everyone is pleased how well the project turned out, except one thing. Erin said you bothered him too much with too many questions."
Me: "Bothered? Did he really say that?"
Frank: "No, not directly, but he said you would stop by his office every day to show him your progress and if he needed you to change anything. You shouldn't have done that."
Me: "Erin really seemed to like the continuous feedback. What we have now is very different than what we started with."
Frank: "Yes, probably because you kept bothering him and not following the specification document. That is why we spend so much time up front in design is so we don't waste management's time, which is exactly what you did."
Me: "We beat the deadline by two months, so I don't think I wasted anyone's time. In fact, this is kind of a big win for us, right?"
Frank: "Not really. There was breakdown in the process. We need better focus on the process, not in these one-hit-wonders."
End the end, the company won the award (mgmt team got to meet the vice president, yes the #2 guy). I know I played a very small, somewhat insignificant role in that victory, I was extremely proud to be part of the team.
In my company we have some awards that are given to people doing some things for customers and doing it good. There are nominations and so on, this year my friend got one for having good relations with customers, being calm and helping them how he can best. Of course there was written something about his calm, helping others, being patitent (...). But nobody from people that he is helping ever saw him screaming like today before he knew that he will be awarded:
“HOW THE FUCK THOSE IDIOTS CAN BREAK THINGS LIKE THAT, THERE IS NO FUCKING WAY”
And he got award for being calm and patient :D4
Today's winner of the characters that made me waste hours debugging for too... Dumb roll please...
For being forgotten to be added to the webpack config so that my docker builds the prod image correctly...3
Sorry for the very long rant. I tried to summarise it. There's still more on my mind.
Have you ever woken up angry at the world for all its ignorance and stubbornness? I'm a first year computer science student who knows more about photosynthesis, DNA replication, genes, Bernoulli random variables, Poisson distribution, etc than I do about nested FUCKING "FOR" loops and classes.
How in the fuck can you tell me that informatics doesn't "fit in with computers science" and I can only have statistics... bitch, I'm the one paying, plus it's a FUCKING ELECTIVE. I don't wanna do statistics. What's the point of learning, actually, cramming something for 4 months. This shit is why people leave this country and go work overseas. And you call them unpatriotic... Really?😑
It honestly doesn't feel like I'm studying computer science. This is a childhood dream, not something I just picked up on because I thought "hacking" was cool. Majority of the students don't even know what computer science is, they just chose it because well... Programming.😕
Fuck this university for ruining my dream. Right now I'm in a bad place. Anxiety is a bitch. Depression is slowly creeping in. I'm having thoughts of quitting.
Kids are having thoughts of killing themselves because they failed something that you forced them to do and convinced them that it was beneficial to computer science when it was not. Instead of lying to people, do some actual FUCKING research and start over. Majority of us have to finance ourselves through loans. The more time we spend here, the bigger the debt becomes.
What we're fighting for is a piece of paper with your name on it and some stranger's signature on it who's going to shake your hand one day as if he's known you for a long time.
And don't fucking celebrate a QS ranking of 350-400 for computer science. It's like celebrating an award for participation.
FUCK THIS UNIVERSITY.
FUCK THIS COUNTRY'S EDUCATION SYSTEM.5
Once upon a time I worked for a startup in school as one of two developers.
I learned many technologies in this role. I built massive front end systems, debugged back end systems. They even gave me a little section on their site that was all about me and giving me credit for me work. The only actual employee was the "CEO, owner, and designer". A team of three in total.
Inevitably the company went under but the site remains. A skeleton of a dead dream. The CEO took my name and info off their website and took credit for all the work I put months into. I was never paid, never giving any recognition whatsoever for the work I did.
I'm not looking for an award or anything like that, but like bro?!?? I built your companies interface for free and you throw me out like trash.
Wtf is being a developer?!?4
Rather than stickers for +1, would it not be an idea to award for x amount of successful invites to devRant? Keep the community growing etc.3
Let`s devote a minute of appreciation to the devs that coded pr0n ads extensions. You guys deserve an award for your valuable work.