Join devRant
Do all the things like
++ or -- rants, post your own rants, comment on others' rants and build your customized dev avatar
Sign Up
Pipeless API
From the creators of devRant, Pipeless lets you power real-time personalized recommendations and activity feeds using a simple API
Learn More
-
I went to Paris for my first interview (that was 1989) for a job of Unix kernel developer. All dressed up. I step out of the elevator and see a young punk with scruffy hair and different colour shoes. I reckon he must be the pizza delivery guy. I ask him "dude, can you please point me to the CEO's office for interview". He said "sure, follow me man, I'll show you". We arrive at a desk, he sat down in the big chair and looks at me with a big smile and says "Ok dude, here we are. I am the CEO. Now let's see how good you are!"
I got the job. And 26 years latet, last week, amazing coincidence: I met him again at a trade show in Paris ... with the same coloured shoes. How cool is that!!!
29 -
Interviewing a candidate for a dev position.
Interview is over and handshakes commence.
After the interview we have a debrief in a room that has hand sanitizer in it (just coincidence).
I squirt some and it comes out like a rocket ship; getting all over one of his resumes we printed. It looks like jizz...
One of the head guys walks in a says:
“I hope he didn’t hand you the resume like that.”
To which one of our ops people, let’s call her Sara, says...
“No, leanrob just REALLY likes his resume!!!”
> I almost fucking died from laughter3 -
string excuses[]={
"it's not a bug it's a feature",
"it worked on my machine",
"i tested it and it worked",
"its production ready",
"your browser must be caching the old content",
"that error means it was successful",
"the client fucked it up",
"the systems crashed and the code got lost" ,
"this code wont go into the final version",
"It's a compiler issue",
"it's only a minor issue",
"this will take two weeks max",
"my code is flawless must be someone else's mistake",
"it worked a minute ago",
"that was not in the original specification",
"i will fix this",
"I was told to stop working on that when something important came up",
"You must have the wrong version",
"that's way beyond my pay grade",
"that's just an unlucky coincidence",
"i saw the new guy screw around with the systems",
"our servers must've been hacked",
"i wasn't given enough time",
"its the designers fault",
"it probably won't happen again",
"your expectations were unrealistic",
"everything's great on my end",
"that's not my code",
"it's a hardware problem",
"it's a firewall issue",
"it's a character encoding issue",
"a third party API isn't responding",
"that was only supposed to be a placeholder",
"The third party documentation is wrong",
"that was just a temporary fix.",
"We outsourced that months ago.","
"that value is only wrong half of the time.",
"the person responsible for that does not work here anymore",
"That was literally a one in a million error",
"our servers couldn't handle the traffic the app was receiving",
"your machines processors must be too slow",
"your pc is too outdated",
"that is a known issue with the programming language",
"it would take too much time and resources to rebuild from scratch",
"this is historically grown",
"users will hardly notice that",
"i will fix it" };11 -
The Top 20 replies by programmers when their programs do not work:
20. "That's weird..."
19. "It's never done that before."
18. "It worked yesterday."
17. "How is that possible?"
16. "It must be a hardware problem."
15. "What did you type in wrong to get it to crash?"
14. "There is something funky in your data."
13. "I haven't touched that module in weeks!"
12. "You must have the wrong version."
11. "It's just some unlucky coincidence."
10. "I can't test everything!"
9. "THIS can't be the source of THAT."
8. "It works, but it hasn't been tested."
7. "Somebody must have changed my code."
6. "Did you check for a virus on your system?"
5. "Even though it doesn't work, how does it feel?
4. "You can't use that version on your system."
3. "Why do you want to do it that way?"
2. "Where were you when the program blew up?"
And the Number One reply by programmers when their programs don't work:
1. "It works on my machine."10 -
Few weeks ago one guy has posted here something like: "Just started work at PornHub".
And now I see this:
(coincidence?..)
21 -
Scammers mann:
——————————————-
“Hello sir, you have to renew your subscription before tomorrow else you’ll be charged $299.99 from your bank account.”
Me: And what’s this subscription you’re talking?
“Your Microsoft antivirus subscription, sir.”
Me: Oh wow, and when did I subscribe to this?
“Three years ago, sir.”
Me: lmbo. Please find someone else to scam.
“No sir, it shows here that you subscribed to Microsoft antivirus 3 years ago.”
Me: Dude, I was in college three years ago. I was too broke to be subscribing to useless stuff like this.
“But sir, its an antivirus. You subscribed to protect your Windows PC from viruses, malware so that bad people and hackers don’t get into your computer to do bad things and steal your info.”
Me: Well, what a coincidence. You’re describing yourself except you’re trying to attack my bank account not my pc. And oh, I’ve been using Linux for the past 5 years and currently own a MacBook so good luck finding someone to fall for this.
“Oh, I see. Sorry.”
*Scammer hangs up.
Lmbo, like dude seriously?
Unfortunately though, someone at my work mother fell for this and had to close all her accounts and create new ones.19 -
Me: *listening to some random semi-obscure track on spotify, liking it, add it to playlist*
Come home, girlfriend playing the same track. "Yeah I've had that in my playlist for two weeks now". Our accounts are not linked in any way, and I only use Spotify on a PC at work, while my girlfriend only uses it at home.
It might just be coincidence, or us having similar tastes.
But the issue is that it's getting more and more difficult to know whether me and my girl are spiritually linked unique snowflake soulmates who are so perfectly in sync with each other, or whether an algorithm suggestively linked us both that song based on scraped location and behavior data.
And whether it matters. Maybe it matters. I don't know yet.
In twenty years maybe humans will be unsure whether it was a wonderful coincidence bordering on cosmic fate that you ran into your new love, or whether Google purposefully drove you towards the same lunch cafe at a specific time because it calculated that she was the perfect candidate to strengthen your susceptibility to advertisements over the coming decade.
Malicious AI will not come into lives bearing guns.
It will not instantly take all of our jobs and enslave us.
It will just know you better than you know yourself, it will know everyone around you better than you know them, and it will play incredible mind games. It will not be designed with malicious intent, just perfectly execute on top of the malicious systems we already have, and even arise as an emergent property within new systems.
It will rarely be clearly visible, but you will increasingly say to yourself: "That's odd, I was just thinking about that". It will detect depression from a smile, physical attraction from a glance, reliability from patterns in your voice and illness from the bloodflow in your cheeks.
It will not just make our cars autonomous, it will make our lives autonomous. It will protect us, decide for us, keep revenues and human satisfaction in a "balanced maximized" state, it will make everything feel easy, slightly abuse us, and when one of us suddenly crashes at 140 mph into depression, debt or addiction it will prove impossible to know whether the humans or the algorithms were at fault.
I'm incredibly afraid and excited about the coming 10 years.13 -
1) An increasing number of beards can be observed on the streets.
2) According to Netmarketshare, desktop Linux usage is at an all time high 2.18%.
Coincidence? I think not!
2 -
It's time for another teacher story. So grab a cup of tea and listen.
We were casually talking about Arduino programming because he told me he teaches this in another class.
Teacher: it's so sad that i can't use my java code on the Arduino. I mean the Arduino uses java so there shouldn't be a problem.
Me: *internal* HOLD THE FUCK ON
Me: you know that the Arduino uses c and not java, do you?
Teacher: but the Arduino can do java commands! How do you explain this!?
Me: because java uses the c-syntax and it's more of a coincidence that they're named the same way?
Teacher: huh. Ok. But C# doesn't use it, am i right?
How can someone this dumb be a programming teacher 🤦6 -
WTF - I discovered that wasps listen to me!
Earlier when one came in, I tried to catch it with a glass and release it, or kill it if that wasn't feasible. This year, I tried pointing to the window and ordering "get out!" just because I was too lazy to take action. Of course, I didn't expect it to work, but it did. I thought it was only a coincidence, so I kept trying it. It works every single time!
Crazy shit!21 -
*downloads Torrent that's about to die*
Oh wicked, both of my peers have the whole thing and I can just come in and let my server seed it as well!
*watches asdfmovie as it downloads*
*returns*
Peer 1: have some data man
Peer 2: fuk off, I wan ma deta for meself
Pussy.
(Quite ironically, as I'm posting this rant, Peer 2 magically sent out data again as well.. coincidence? I think not!)5 -
*wants to do some coding for once*
Stack Overflow: sorry, we're offline 😶
Classic 😑
Also it's Monday. Coincidence? Most certainly not!!5 -
!rant
Few days ago I’ve had a room in a very '80s looking hotel in Poznań. Room number 11 on 10th floor. What a coincidence in their numbering...
4 -
Am I the only one to notice the coincidence that wk143 is about dating.
When I in school, we use to write 143 in place of "I love you" (letter count) within a heart with a aroow going across the heart.
"we" excludes me.5 -
*sees how Facebook kicked me out of my Bitlbee session again*
Me: "Motherf-..."
Still there's some friends of mine on Facebook who apparently got really hooked.. can't for the love of the holy Raven seem to get them away from that shithole.
"Alright then Facebook.. your win. I'll install Messenger and Pages Manager again to at least have your shit be semi-usable again 😑"
*installs said apps*
"Holy shit that battery is draining fast, and I'll have to go out in half an hour"
*plugs phone in fast charger*
*phone while charging keeps on dropping battery level*
FACECUNTS!!!!!! 😤
*powers off phone to conserve battery life and goes off to cook a meal*
*comes back to boot up the phone again and uninstalls those Face-crapps*
*phone immediately starts raising its battery level super fast*
Coincidence? I think not 🤔🤔🤔2 -
2 days ago: *rants about HP's design choices on a laptop*
22 hours ago: *new video from GreatScott comes out, explaining all about voltage tolerances for the charger etc*
Coincidence? Maybe not 🤔4 -
Worst advice about programming...
My discussion with my company sistem admin :
Me : you must always think that users are dumb and will make mistakes (like putting letters when db saves as number)
He : users must learn, if they make such mistakes its their fault.
My claim: I learned early in school to always assume that users are stupid and will always find bugs and exploits by coincidence. So protect your code from bad imput8 -
*BSOD appears
*PC Restarts
*Windows updating (oh shit)
*Windows taking forever to finish update
*Me getting angry
*Me press Enter with Anger (while windows updating..)
*Login Screen appears immediately
Oh ok.. wish I knew that from the beginning..
or it's coincidence.. 🤔🤔
Whatever.. *Opens Android Studio*3 -
OMFG I don't even know where to start..
Probably should start with last week (as this is the first time I had to deal with this problem directly)..
Also please note that all packages, procedure/function names, tables etc have fictional names, so every similarity between this story and reality is just a coincidence!!
Here it goes..
Lat week we implemented a new feature for the customer on production, everything was working fine.. After a day or two, the customer notices the audit logs are not complete aka missing user_id or have the wrong user_id inserted.
Hm.. ok.. I check logs (disk + database).. WTF, parameters are being sent in as they should, meaning they are there, so no idea what is with the missing ids.
OK, logs look fine, but I notice user_id have some weird values (I already memorized most frequent users and their ids). So I go check what is happening in the code, as the procedures/functions are called ok.
Wow, boy was I surprised.. many many times..
In the code, we actually check for user in this apps db or in case of using SSO (which we were) in the main db schema..
The user gets returned & logged ok, but that is it. Used only for authentication. When sending stuff to the db to log, old user Id is used, meaning that ofc userid was missing or wrong.
Anyhow, I fix that crap, take care of some other audit logs, so that proper user id was sent in. Test locally, cool. Works. Update customer's test servers. Works. Cool..
I still notice something off.. even though I fixed the audit_dbtable_2, audit_dbtable_1 still doesn't show proper user ids.. This was last week. I left it as is, as I had more urgent tasks waiting for me..
Anyhow, now it came the time for this fuckup to be fixed. Ok, I think to myself I can do this with a bit more hacking, but it leaves the original database and all other apps as is, so they won't break.
I crate another pck for api alone copy the calls, add user_id as param and from that on, I call other standard functions like usual, just leave out the user_id I am now explicitly sending with every call.
Ok this might work.
I prepare package, add user_id param to the calls.. great, time to test this code and my knowledge..
I made changes for api to incude the current user id (+ log it in the disk logs + audit_dbtable_1), test it, and check db..
Disk logs fine, debugging fine (user_id has proper value) but audit_dbtable_1 still userid = 0.
WTF?! I go check the code, where I forgot to include user id.. noup, it's all there. OK, I go check the logging, maybe I fucked up some parameters on db level. Nope, user is there in the friggin description ON THE SAME FUCKING TABLE!!
Just not in the column user_id...
WTF..Ok, cig break to let me think..
I come back and check the original auditing procedure on the db.. It is usually used/called with null as the user id. OK, I have replaced those with actual user ids I sent in the procedures/functions. Recheck every call!! TWICE!! Great.. no fuckups. Let's test it again!
OFC nothing changes, value in the db is still 0. WTF?! HOW!?
So I open the auditing pck, to look the insides of that bloody procedure.. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!
Instead of logging the p_user_sth_sth that is sent to that procedure, it just inserts the variable declared in the main package..
WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?! Did the 'new guy' made changes to this because he couldn't figure out what is wrong?! Nope, not him. I asked the CEO if he knows anything.. Noup.. I checked all customers dbs (different customers).. ALL HAD THIS HARDOCED IN!!! FORM THE FREAKING YEAR 2016!!! O.o
Unfuckin believable.. How did this ever work?!
Looks like at the begining, someone tried to implement this, but gave up mid implementation.. Decided it is enough to log current user id into BLABLA variable on some pck..
Which might have been ok 10+ years ago, but not today, not when you use connection pooling.. FFS!!
So yeah, I found easter eggs from years ago.. Almost went crazy when trying to figure out where I fucked this up. It was such a plan, simple, straight-forward solution to auditing..
If only the original procedure was working as it should.. bloddy hell!!8 -
So you are having a conversation about relationships, breakup etc with your friend on WhatsApp.
Then you instantly see a tinder ad on the first YouTube video you play.
Coincidence or something else ? 🤔
(Every one has some similar experiences i, I bet)10 -
After long time logged into windows desktop and dared to open internet explorer then I seen option
"What's New in Internet Explorer 8"
So I thought let's see what's new in IE8
When I clicked on that option, suddenly my CPU fan stopped working.
There was no connection between them,
But what a coincidence!
F***U IE:D2 -
The story of how I got my dream job.
I was working for a company with a job I got just after graduating university. It was ok, not very exciting tech but I learned a lot by just surrounding myself with professional code monkeys. I was there for about a year when my company bought parts of another company and there was talk about people getting fired. This made me worried since I was the last one to get hired, so I started looking around for other jobs. I received this e-mail from a company saying they were looking for interns, what a coincidence! I adjusted my CV and sent it in.
--A few weeks pass--
It's Friday and I'm at a dinner party, it's 10pm and someone is calling me. I pick up and it's a recruiter from this company. I get very nervous but the alcohol helps me keep my cool, I pass the initial idiot test and they invite me for an interview. Yay!
I go to work on Monday and in a 1-on-1 and I tell my boss about the upcoming interview, he gives me a high-five :)
The interview is approaching and I'm feeling that I'm about to get sick, I refuse to believe this so I start taking a lot of medicine (painkillers, cough medicine etc.). I feel a bit better and thank the gods for medication.
--D-day--
I wake up, put on my nicest clothes and get on the train. I had one hour to spare just in case, which was well needed because the fucking train is late by 30 minutes. I'm still heavily medicated because of my ongoing fever. When I arrive I basically have to run there and somehow I manage to pick up a coffee on the way there which I devour in two seconds. I'm ready for the interview!
Some guy meets me in reception and the first thing he says is "My colleague doesn't speak our language so we'll have to speak english". This is fine, I speak good english but I was not prepared for this so it caught me off-guard and made me even more nervous. We get in and start talking. Things are going OK despite my numbed brain. I try to make eye-contact to make a good impression with the foreign engineer but he keeps staring somewhere which is making me nervous.
We get to the technical part on a whiteboard and this is where my brain decides to stop communicating. I'm presented a simple task which I'm struggling with finishing, and I feel the embarrassment coming over me. "NOOOOO THIS IS MY DREAM JOB, THIS CANNOT BE HAPPENING!" I'm thinking to myself. After making myself look like a complete arsehole for some time we wrap it up and just before I step out the door I say to the engineer "You should checkout my Github page, I have lots of interesting stuff there" and he says "I'll be sure to do that" but I don't believe him.
I leave the office in fury (of myself) and make my way to the train station and even though it's the middle of the day I quickly devour two beers to calm my nerves and make me feel a bit better. I was so damn disappointed in myself, I wasted the opportunity of a lifetime! I go back home to my regular (now shitty) job.
--Two days later--
I get a call from an unknown number. I pick up the phone and it's the same recruiter guy. "So how did you think it went?" he says. "To be honest, I think it went really bad", I replied. "What? Really? Because they loved you, you got the job". (this was an obvious recruiter lie) "... wat, are you sure you called the correct person?" I said and he just laughed. The day after I quit my old job the whole department gets fired - such impeccable timing.
--A few months later--
I finish my internship and they want to keep me. I'm so happy. The engineer that was in the interview works on my team. I ask him "Why did you hire me? You know as well as I do that my interview was horrible". It turns out he _did_ look at my Github profile and that's how he knew I could write code. I also heard later that for my position there was about 2000 applicants and somehow I made the interviews.
I still work there today and I couldn't be happier (Sorry for the long text).3 -
One of the soulless parasitic drones commonly referred to as a "recruiter" happened to find a good fit. Pure coincidence, as he had no clue what the company did, or what the tech stack was.
If I'm ever switching again, I'll do it on my own. Just thinking about the fact that this guy pocketed €30k for 3 phone calls makes me sad.4 -
Conspiracy Theory:
Windows 10 - suspiciously free upgrade and "pirate friendly."
Microsoft - really rolling with the hardware scene lately.
Windows 10 Updates - suspiciously destroyed the hardware in 4 laptops and a desktop I've worked on putting the owners in the market for new Microsoft hardware.
Coincidence?9 -
About a month ago I had looked up SMS gateway services.
I had checked out twilio few times then.
Today this happened. Coincidence? I think not.
3 -
I get a huge feeling a deja vu when I check devRant after I check r/ProgrammerHumor. What a coincidence! :P2
-
Fun fact: I got my first job on starting of week 77 as a developer. Coincidence! I hope not.
Even devrant syncs with my life now.2 -
I really like this book on the basis of the philosophy overall, no this doesn’t solve all problems but it’s a good baseline of “guidelines/rules” to program by. Good metrics or goals to architect and design software projects high and low level projects.
Fight Software Rot
Avoid duplicate code
Write Flexible, dynamic, adaptable code
Not cargo cult programming and programming by coincidence.
Make robust code, contracts/asserts/exceptions
Test, Test, and TEST again and Continue testing.. this is a big one.. not so much meaning TDD.. but just testing in general never stop trying to break your software.. FIND the bugs.. you should want to find your bugs. Even after releasing code the field continue testing.
21 -
I quit smoking yesterday.
By a coincidence I had a pack of cigarettes named “Kresty” – the brand from russian prison.
Just gave it to Stephen Paul Taylor. There’s no reason to smoke again, just don’t want to loose this kind of story.
4 -
The coincidence is that I got hired today only! This was my first job interview. I am a student. Not sure if it gets counted as my last job selection but i am super happy. ;)
Thanks devRant for this special topping. 😁 -
funny coincidence happened at work the other day.
One dev ask to get more ram for his pc so we sent him a link to download more ram... after all the laughs we actually gave hom more ram.
The next day, we had performance issue on our dev servers, and after checking the VM's where missing 4gb of ram each from the original setup... so i poke my dev and say see now we know where the downloaded ram came from XD. man those small things really make my day -
my CTO is on 2 week vacation, guess what he did on his last day...
installed a camera with a microphone in our office. coincidentally right near the devs...
i'm afraid to talk with my colleagues...7 -
Fucking nice, my damn PC has problems handling RAM and can't stay more than 1 minute in any OS without crashing. Windows bluescreens with MEMORY_MANAGEMENT or other bullshit. Nice fucking situation. It's either my CPU's IMC or all of the four RAM sticks. Long tests say it's not my board. Either way, I'm fucked because I haven't got any money to replace my PC yet.
What a coincidence, I got similar parts to someone on Google+ who lives near me and has this exact problem EXCEPT HE CAN REPLACE HIS PC SOON AND I CAN'T. GREAT.10 -
Of course the first thing I do when I sat at my desk is to update my Firefox. And I realized that chrome also needs an update.
I remember clearly that I just updated everything yesterday. So Google released updates on the same date as Mozilla.
Coincidence? Don't think so.1 -
I don't think it's a coincidence that my internet disconnects for a few seconds when i click link to porn sites.
Happy everytime time :/10 -
One more easter egg. What a coincidence Thanksgiving and easter egg. Is there some AI ?
https://stackoverflow.com/questions...
3 -
- So what did you do this summer ?
- I just get back from a humanitarian mission to help hungry childs and you ?
- What a coincidence! I went all summer in StackOverflow to help other people! -
I've noticed looking at the card exit of a building that most people a) just carry their laptop without putting it in the backpack because the carpark is a jump away anyway, b) that stickers on said laptops can leak your infrastructure
No idea what made me interested in that, but if you take the average of people's laptop stickers (sadly not everybody had their laptop or maybe even a laptop at all, so I've got just 20) - you could probably tell what tools and what services the company is running.
Could be a funny coincidence and I was able to verify later by googling their company, but it's an interesting non trackable way to know what services and tools need to be exploited/emulated to possibly gain access to some high security network.
I feel like somebody had to have a talk/presentation about this, so I wonder, had anybody else seen something like that? or how far could this actually go?5 -
What a coincidence. JQuery gets an update to 3.4.0 - and I removed the JQuery dependency that a mid-sized widget (15 kB minified) needed.
Rewriting the selector, css and trim stuff was easy. Each, children, append, empty, remove and extend were not too hard. Animations gave me more headache, but in the end, JS triggered CSS transitions worked nicely.
I was able to shave off the usual 30 kB over the wire for JQuery, and the whole thing seems snappier. Finally, I'm at vanilla everything!
Of course, it's largely due to JQuery's merits that vanilla JS is where it is today. So, thank you JQuery, and farewell.3 -
Last night me and my friend were on a WhatsApp call discussing how we should practice algorithms and data structures more. We texted the logistics after and he sent me a calendar invite on google. I swear to god this morning I had adds talking about data algorithms all over YouTube but I have never googled this issue in the near past 🤔 this can’t be a coincidence...9
-
I had a CS teacher in college who was constantly learning and testing himself in order to catch up. He was also my favourite teacher ever. Coincidence? I think not.
-
Now that is my rant inside someone else's rant inside my rant. Coincidence is that these screenshots are from our home feed
3 -
The residence's notice says that if you have a high temperature and have traveled outside the country in the last 30 days, you will not be allowed to come inside and will be sent to the hospital instead which is probably crowded by now due to panic. I can't imagine how it feels like for the people who can't enter their own homes.
Imagine if work places were as strict as the security here? I know quite a few fuckers who would fake the death of their grandmothers just to skip work. Pretty sure someone is faking the virus right now and because everyone is so paranoid, he/she would be taken seriously.
The coincidence is funny. I've been reading "Rant" by Chuck Palahniuk last December. It's a ***story*** about a rabies super spreader who used to get himself bitten by all sorts of animals and insects to skip school. He would intentionally get himself bitten and use the venom of black widow spiders to get an erection. When he got the rabies from other encounters, he would spread it around town by eating everyone's pussy. And since one of the symptoms of rabies is a tingling sensation on the infected area, the doctors say those he infected didn't actually "suffer" until they eventually died. :) It's a good book. I love it. That guy speaks the language of the degenerates, fucking hilarious.
I'm just glad I didn't proceed with my Singapore trip but still, no thanks, I'm working from home. My entire body hurts from training for the last two days. I don't want people to get an idea. Now where can I find someone with rabies? -
Interesting coincidence. I have stared at this shower curtain far too long.. I MUST KNOW ITS SECRETS.
1 -
So, we've been on Deutsche Telekom for about 9 months. Shitty connection in the countryside but literally not one outage.
For the last 6 weeks our internet has been dropping out with no obvious cause.
Just this week we start getting calls if we'd like to upgrade to a package with LTE...
I'm finding the coincidence just a little too convenient.1 -
Just got a job offer in a DevOps team, the cloud company is Netherlands based. But I'm worried about the Brexit because the day is a coincidence... and I'm in London.6
-
Back in grammar school we started programming in TI-Basic on a TI89 Titanium as it was part of math class (calculus and geometry). I didn't really understand much because the teacher thought it was a great idea to start with recursively calculating GCD (and we were in a sort of "linguist profile", nobody had ever touched a line of code in their lives before). I still liked it though and by some coincidence I got an old Win95 compaq notebook to play with from a friend.
I started playing around with the CMD prompt and batch files and could apply some of the things I had learned on the TI, like GOTO or If statements. I still didn't know what I was doing of course, and so it happened that I used the > file pipe when trying to compare two values. Suddenly there was a file with some code fragments and I started to get what I had done. I put the file pipe into an endless GOTO loop and was amused how those few lines filled up the whole desktop with nonsense files. I went on to refine this a little so I could control it with another file that acted as a kill switch when present. Over the next weeks I played some more with it and made it write out and start another batch file that would check whether the original script was still there and recreate it if not.
That notebook was so large and heavy I could not bring it to school, so I wrote all code by hand on paper and typed it in when I got home, that way I could still code in class when I was bored and no one would notice.
So my first ever "program" that I wrote myself was some lousy malware.5 -
So in the project I’m working on we were about to do a push to live, no major functionality just minor adjustments and nice to have stuff. One of the things I did was a reminder, nothing special just sends an email out if something hasn’t been done for 3 days and then sends an email every day following. Push to live and every thing goes fine with no issues. Day 1 there are no issues. Day 2 there are no issues. Day 3 and I’m inundated with people telling me that the emails are getting sent to practically everyone, shit. What have I done? What have I missed?
So I start looking at the live database hoping for a data problem, no such luck. I look at my code looking for something blatantly obvious but nothing. I start replicating the data but I can’t reproduce this bug and it’s annoying the hell out of me. I checked one of the emails that the client sent to us more thoroughly and seen that it was sent at 07:01. This is odd as our webjob runs at 1am so I start looking at environmental factors and started looking at release management, more out of hope than expectation. I check the staging environment and see that the webjob ran at 7:00. Coincidence I thought, the webjob gets packaged on the release pipeline and everything in the database was dummy data anyway but I’d better check anyway. The database was an exact copy of the live database, turns out a “senior developer” wanted to sanity check everything by running live data through the code so he copied the database over. It was fine for the first couple of days but the data was now 3 days out of date triggering my email code and I get hit with the shit storm. I’ve never met such an incompetent developer in my fucking life, functions 700 lines long, classes that are over 20000 lines, repetition every where and the only design patterns he’s used is when he picks up a child’s colouring book. I can live with the fact that he writes code like someone on their first day of University But copying a database because he wants to “visualise” the fucking data is absolutely farcical. No wonder the project is fucked with a “developer” (in the loosest possible use of the word) is at the helm. -
I was not happy with the way my team lead made those technical decisions. I couldn't do much about it. Hit with frustration, I switched job.
What a coincidence, my new employer is exactly his old employer. Although I liked the company with my impression from the interview, knowing this fact made me nervous. What if this is the place that bred him into what he is today?...
Turned out the reality is not cruel. I'm joining a team that is formed way after he left. And this new team is expected to bring changes to the old-fashioned existing product (or simply a revamp/remake if you call it).
And it's interesting for me to now come to understand the poor decisions he has made. I said I "understand". This does not mean I agree with him now. His approach makes sense when I look at the old-fashion product I am working on. But it still feels wrong in many ways for the product he is now in charge of.
There, I witness that someone with experience is not necessarily smart.
This is the same guy who said "That's why I don't like to catch exception."
FYI https://devrant.com/rants/2420797/...1 -
What a coincidence. This will be that day. Not as dev, but as a student. I know this place called DEVrant, but I'm really nervous right now, because of the tests today. I didn't learn and I'm gonna fail all.
But not the tests the only thing I worry about. I hate this world becouse everybody needs to work hard and there is no break. Rarely you can get some air, but one second later you're in the deep again... I don't know what to say or what to do. This will go in my entire life? This is horrible.
I know. I'm just a student. "It will be harder." you say. But I've had enough of this.3 -
Google play music "I'm feeling lucky" radio has played 3 black keys songs in a row since I started this.. Coincidence?
1 -
after a long time i discovered that my nearest neighbours' son knows about CS stuff and another direct neighbor could potentially have a job for me to offer as a developer - and that neighbours' son is working for him.
what a freaking coincidence to finally have someone to talk to about tech who is not about a million miles distance and to also get a possible job in near future
i would say win-win for all of us😎😄1 -
Created a new account on twitter. No link with any previous account, neither email, nor mobile number, dob, name or anything. But my friend followed in just 4 mins after I created. Was it just a coincidence?6
-
Either a really big coincidence, or I'm officially creeped out.
I've been looking into buying a vps, so researching that a lot. Then today, I went to work, at a monitoring station, so we have to use remote desktops to access anything other than very specific sites.
Then I looked at an article about c#, and there was a Google ad, about a vps.. Keep in my mind, I'm at work, on a remote desktop, that gets cleared every time it's closed.
I know a vps isn't the most unpopular thing, but haven't seen an ad for it before.4 -
Do cartoon characters with four fingers per hand (and assuming only two arms) naturally think in octal? Or is it just a happy coincidence that humans developed base 10 because we (normally) have 10 fingers?1
-
19 Oct: EU approves Microsoft purchase of Github
21 Oct: (see attached)
Coincidence...? 🤔
I know Microsoft have an impressive track record for taking promising and/or popular products and turning them to shit but they've really outdone themselves this time with their immediacy.
1 -
Today I came across a very strange thing or a coincidence(maybe).
I was working on my predictive analytics project and I had registered on Kaggle(repository for datasets) long back and was searching on how to scrape websites, as I couldn't find any relevant dataset. So, while I was searching for ways to scrape a website, suddenly after visiting a few websites, I get notifications of a new email. And it was from Kaggle with the subject line
"How to Scrape a Tidy Dataset for Analysis"
Now I don't how to feel about it. Mixed feelings! It is either a wild coincidence, or Kaggle is tracking all the pages visited by the user. The latter makes more sense. By the way, Kaggle wasn't open in any of the tabs on my browser.1 -
Holy shit this is creepy.
So I just got back from a team event today from a location that was a few hours away and, while we were at the hotel there was a little cardboard box on our breakfast table with an ad on it. The slogan on the ad was “Bada book Bada boom” it was really dumb and I almost forgot about it, but just now I’m listening to pandora on a completely separate network, many hours away from the location and an ad comes on with the SAME SLOGAN for what I assume was the same company.
Now I’m just wondering how they managed to do that.... I really do not believe it was a coincidence considering I have never heard that ad on my pandora before....
This is fucking creepy1 -
Real, seriously honest feedback wanted.
What do you do when you are stuck at a place that has potential but it is being run by someone with the wrong idea?
For example: not to toot my own horn, but I shine at front end Development. Not just slicing up designs, but seriously creating amazing user experiences. And honestly, there is no shortage of work for that ... every client we have has an expectation that their site or application will look awesome. And we have some very big clients.
That said, the manager truly believes that we are all inter-changeable and should have no preference. As a result, John Doe over there who has zero ability in front end gets tasked with building the front end of what should be an amazing app... while I eventually get tasked with some sitecore bullshit that I have no interest in.
And it goes on and on and on.
It is no coincidence that anytime the dice land on me for front end, it wins an award and always ends with an awesome thank you from the customer.
I am not sure what to do, because it just makes no sense to me. And this is just one example of the mismanagement.
Any help?2 -
Everybody born in 1984 must be a fantastic programmer (including me 😎), because when the year will be a power of 2, their age will also be a power of 2.
2048 = 2^11
2048 - 1984 = 64 = 2^62 -
I purchased a used 1U rack server last week, it got 8 small fans and is ALOT more silent than my other used 2U server.. I thought it would be the opposite, since the 2U got bigger and less fans.
First few days i had the 1U turned on in my bedroom while sleeping.
Is there a reason for this, or is it a coincidence?1 -
Let me tell you a short story. Back in 2016 I resigned my job and started working in my current company 1.10.2016.
One year later in 2017 I got a loan approved on the same date 1.10.2017.
Going forward to today, I resigned my current job moving on and the date when I'm starting the new job is also 1.10. and to make more interesting the load is ending on the same date. I was already thinking about that date and the coincidence and remembered that my wife's birthday is on the SAME date, now I'm afraid and have a feeling that something else will happen hahah
What do you think am I just overthinking or? :D5 -
Devranters, you should make your products available on local stores in Asia, esp India. Like on Flipkart. I seriously need a 'stress ball' 🤔. I read it can help me stress more. Hence rant more! Not a coincidence
-
Since day 0, I have been fond of computers. One of my first plush was called "DataDog" and looked like a CRT screen with dog ears around. According to my mum I was "addicted" to it.
At year 2, my dad was arranging some music on some software while I was watching him on his lap. Quick jump to the present: nowadays and since 10 years I run my own home studio with three guitars, two keyboards, one bass, three monitors, a microphone, an amp and a cabinet... coincidence? I think not!
Fast forward 5 years later (so I'm 6-7 years old), and I was playing with the legendary pinball game on Win95, as well as Flight Simulator. Then I was hogging mum's laptop to play settlers II (<3 that game), I eventually got my computer, and got into Quake III Arena being aged 10 (and had to tell my mum that game was safe for my age haha - I eventually removed the blood effects).
The Quake 3 Arena chapter is interesting: it got me into router configuration as I wanted to open a port through the router to host my own dedicated games with friends, it got me into DNS configuration (I was running a no-DNS client that allowed friends to join me through a DNS while having a dynamic IP) and eventually... to modifying .cfg files to tune my server as I wanted it. No programming here but a nice intro into :)
Then I hated the fact everybody would point their finger at me and say "geek" - I was only 13, fragile, sensitive, and I wanted everything but a bad image on me.
Meanwhile I continued on getting interested in hardware and configure my own computers, and investing myself into music production.
Then, university. "What do you want to study?" I thought of everything but IT, fleeing the image of a "geek". Turns out it was a waste of time, and at 21 yo I got into web development (well, just html and css), then learned a bit of PHP, finally got a specialized 2-year training and now here I am!
I was bound to be in IT either way since day 0, and funny fact, I've used every windows edition since Win95. -
Very Long, random and pretentiously philosphical, beware:
Imagine you have an all-powerful computer, a lot of spare time and infinite curiosity.
You decide to develop an evolutionary simulation, out of pure interest and to see where things will go. You start writing your foundation, basic rules for your own "universe" which each and every thing of this simulation has to obey. You implement all kinds of object, with different attributes and behaviour, but without any clear goal. To make things more interesting you give this newly created world a spoonful of coincidence, which can randomely alter objects at any given time, at least to some degree. To speed things up you tell some of these objects to form bonds and define an end goal for these bonds:
Make as many copies of yourself as possible.
Unlike the normal objects, these bonds now have purpose and can actively use and alter their enviroment. Since these bonds can change randomely, their variety is kept high enough to not end in a single type multiplying endlessly. After setting up all these rules, you hit run, sit back in your comfy chair and watch.
You see your creation struggle, a lot of the formed bonds die and desintegrate into their individual parts. Others seem to do fine. They adapt to the rules imposed on them by your universe, they consume the inanimate objects around them, as well as the leftovers of bonds which didn't make it. They grow, split and create dublicates of themselves. Content, you watch your simulation develop. Everything seems stable for now, your newly created life won't collapse anytime soon, so you speed up the time and get yourself a cup of coffee.
A few minutes later you check back in and are happy with the results. The bonds are thriving, much more active than before and some of them even joined together, creating even larger bonds. These new bonds, let's just call them animals (because that's obviously where we're going), consist of multiple different types of bonds, sometimes even dozens, which work together, help each other and seem to grow as a whole. Intrigued what will happen in the future, you speed the simulation up again and binge-watch the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy.
Nine hours passed and your world became a truly mesmerizing place. The animals grew to an insane size, consisting of millions and billions of bonds, their original makeup became opaque and confusing. Apparently the rules you set up for this universe encourage working together more than fighting each other, although fights between animals do happen.
The initial tools you created to observe this world are no longer sufficiant to study the inner workings of these animals. They have become a blackbox to you, but that's not a problem; One of the species has caught your attention. They behave unlike any other animal. While most of the species adapt their behaviour to fit their enviroment, or travel to another enviroment which fits their behaviour, these special animals started to alter the existing enviroment to help their survival. They even began to use other animals in such a way that benefits themselves, which was different from the usual bonds, since this newly created symbiosis was not permanent. You watch these strange, yet fascinating animals develop, without even changing the general composition of their bonds, and are amazed at the complexity of the changes they made to their enviroment and their behaviour towards each other.
As you observe them build unique structures to protect them from their enviroment and listen to their complex way of communication (at least compared to other animals in your simulation), you start to wonder:
This might be a pretty basic simulation, these "animals" are nothing more than a few blobs on a screen, obeying to their programming and sometimes getting lucky. All this complexity you created is actually nothing compared to a single insect in the real world, but at what point do you draw the line? At what point does a program become an organism?
At what point is it morally wrong to pull the plug?15 -
I don't know if its just me, but today I notice that Facebooks notification list has shrunk considerably and only displays the last 61 items, I wonder why ?
The only thing I've done differently in the last 24 hours was report two posts for harassment..
Not against me, but someone else !
Facebook responded back pretty quickly within a few hours, rather than weeks, but in neither case did they agree with my view that posting pictures of someone's underwear with derogatory comments was harassment.
So, maybe if you complain, they limit your notification list so you can't see so much to complain about..
Or it was just coincidence and they just happened to shorten everyone's notification list..8 -
Someone knows how to find key length of vigenere ciphertext effectively? I wrote a code for coincidence method to find key length. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.
Or i fucked up while implementing it?3 -
Question:
How did you discover devRant?
For me I was looking for an Android sql server to install from the play store when I found it..5 -
So I wanted to get into Lego again. I loved it as a kid and got a bit into robotics again, so I thought why not, maybe I can collect some parts for future robot builds.
I go look for videos about models and stuff and in the end I found one I liked and though yeah why not.
Went ahead to check it's model number..
It's 42069.10 -
While I was having a pre-lunch toke and just finished reading an article (about sharing screenshots) and this neat sign up form expanded from the footer.
Now this UX and marketing done right - I couldn't resist and don't even know what the newsletter is about 😂😂😂
2 -
By an absolute coincidence, my birthday just got a bit better. A guy I know wrote on social media that he had some ram to sell for ~15 USD, 16GB DDR3 (2x8).
It just so happens that today I've decided to start using my old pc again, after a year and a half of no use, which just so happens only has 8GB of RAM DDR3 :D3 -
Github starts having issues the second I try and get us to start using it instead of gung-ho edits. Coincidence?
-
Is it any coincidence that IBM's application container is called WAS. In other words their product is past tense. As in it wasn't even state of the art when it released.
-
Why those f***ers in Freescale was unable to keep architecture same across their product lines? Why has KL25Z completely different archtecture than KL28Z? Registers are renamed randomly, peripheries removed and added with different architecture... That naming is just happy coincidence not same line in their products...
This porting is gonna be fun.
FML. -
Four major network disruptions on east coast the past week. Today fiber cut in Florida effecting central Florida. Verizon, AT&T and Sprint have each had disruptions impacting many businesses and customers. Coincidence?
-
My robotics mentor who had never said anything about computers asks some of our good programmers where he can buy 20 raspberry pi zeros.
The next day the PoisonTap exploit goes public.
Coincidence? -
https://devrant.com/rants/2344429/...
My dear friend shiv wrote:
"this coming year my goal is to fill up all the holes.."
And all I could think was, what, a coincidence, thats my goal too!
What are your main goals or aims for this year?9 -
I used to be able to connect my Windows laptops to any TV with HDMI and duplicate the screen for presentations, watching movies, etc. But since about 6 months ago I can’t get ANY TVs to work with ANY Windows laptops. Everything I’m reading says it’s either out of date drivers (nope) or something to do with a crap update from MS. I’m going with the latter. It can’t be coincidence that ALL my updated machines suddenly can’t do this basic function.2
-
You know, i just finished writing my term paper, the topic was how AI won't take our jobs XD nice coincidence2
Top Tags
Weekly Rant
View