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Search - "daddy"
Google: The SHA-1 collision is the biggest news today
Cloudflare: Hold my beer
AWS: Call me your daddy3
Roughly 180 days, 5 months and 29 days, 4,320 hours, 259,200 minutes, I devoted myself to a client project. I missed family outings with my daughter and my wife. People started asking my wife if we had broken up. My daughter became accustomed to daddy not being around and playing with her. Sometimes only sleeping 4 hours, I would figure out solutions to problems in my sleep and force myself to wake and put them into action. My relationship with my wife became very fragile and unstable. I knew I had to change but I just needed a little bit more time to complete this client project.
Finally, the project was ending there was light at the end of the tunnel. I “git add –-all && git status” everything looked good. I then “git commit -m “v1.0 release candidate && git push beanstalk master”
I deployed the app to the staging server where I performed my deployment steps. Everything was good. I signed-up as a new user, I upload a bunch different files types with different sizes, completed my profile and logged out. I emailed the client to arrange a time to speak remotely.
“Hello” says the client “How are you” I replied. “Great, lets begin” urged the client. I recited the apps url out to the client. The client creates a new account and tries to upload a file. The app spews a bunch of error messages on the screen.
The client says
“Merlin – I do not think you really applied yourself to this project. The first test we do and it fails. If you do not have the time to do my project properly please just say so now, so I can find somebody else who can”
I FREAKED THE FUCKOUT on the client!!!!!!! and nearly hung up. My wife was right next to and she was absolutely gobsmacked. I sat back and thought to myself “These fuckers don’t get it”. All that suffering for nothing!
Thanks for reading my rant….
BTW: I did finish the project, the client was amazed on how the app worked and it is has become an indispensable tool for their employees.19
Person at work, staring at my keyboard: How much was it?
Me: The keyboard? Oh it's a cheap one for around $30.
Person: Huh... I'll never get you rich boys and your fads.
Well, I don't fucking judge you for your $600 phone, or your $80 shoes or shirts, you cuntwaffle. Fuckin' asshole has the face of a horse's left testicle, is always on his phone, which is arguably fine since he's not a dev but still fuck him, and has the gall to call me bringing my mechanical keyboard to work a 'rich fad'. Oh, that's rich coming from you. Ever seen your ugly mug in your undeserved branded clothing, you unloved, shit-gobbling piece of shit?
"You type so loud." And you breathe too loud but I don't tell you to stop but maybe I ought to.
Go suck on your daddy-uncle's chode for a couple more bucks and stop hanging around me, you judgemental cum-snorting piece of shit.
P.s. it's a cheap keyboard with blue switches but the office is normally noisy and busy enough that no one gives a shit about it. Planning on buying an Anne Pro sometime next month.28
My five-year-old daughter asked me to program her Android tablet today.
Daughter: Daddy, can you make my tablet do something?
Me: What do you want to make it do?
Daughter: I want it to get games for me. I want it to pick games I like and get the different games so I can play them after I get home from school.
My daughter asked me to implement:
1. At the least, a predictive algorithm to choose new games for her based on her likes and dislikes.
2. At the most, an adaptive artificial intelligence that will learn what games she likes to play.
Current specifications are unclear. Need revision.13
Received an approval from my boss to keep my scripts running because I'm processing a lot of data and there's no way it would finish during my shift. I went offline on Skype and waited for hours listening to a horror podcast while my terminals are docked and the real horror happened.
I logged back into Skype and received a message from my favorite person: "Hi rutee07, I terminated your processes."
I'm not mad. It's chill you know. All gooood. No, I don't want to feed you with a bag of bloody napkins. Who would do that, right? Hehe. Look at me, I'm so calm.
You're just so damn cuuuute, I wanna squish your skull. 😘11
When I turn off my laptop and the mouse starts blinking because it is trying to connect to the host I imagine a young boy in the fields shouting "Papa? Daddy where are you? [Crying] Papaaa"9
Amazing feeling seeing your 9yo opening the browser, finding a programming tutorial and just start learning.
This brings fond memories to those days when we were craving for the books in 90s.1
It's frustrating when you know so many programming languages and your boss likes you to use drag and drop website builders.10
Behold, my 34 year old little baby (more like big daddy), the Acorn Electron. Still running fine but god is that BASIC awful.7
Saw a rant against "startup idea guys" and it got me thinking. A few years ago, I knew a guy. Business major, terrible at everything, but his daddy is getting him a job at a big 4 accounting firm with referrals from his frat brothers. I collect vintage watches (gotta have a hobby that isn't Netflix and anxiety,) and I figured I should make a small website, display my stuff and write a bit. He gets on board, talking about how it's gonna be the next big thing. It's not, because the market is very saturated, I mainly sell on forums and tbh just wanted to write and dick around on Wordpress. I buy our entire inventory, he blows the cash he was fronting on booze, says I "lack networking capabilities," and quits. His LinkedIn lists him as the former CEO of MY company which wasn't even incorporated enough for me to get it a business PayPal, and he is now working on a tech startup that... Wait for it... Is a social network and online marketplace for Ivy League students. I shit you not. He told me it's the "first of its kind." I signed up for lulz, and the verification email directed me to his backend directory with client logins and details in plain text 😂😂😂😂2
update of after i got fired: after the fuck developers company llc was left with no developers, there was a girl there that i didn't mention earlier because as i said: the story is more complex. she came there with good intentions but after she knew the cruel nature of fuck and shit she became notoriously mad, we're still in contact with her so it's nice to hear from her some of the gags that happen there, one of which my really intelligent ex-boss the wordpress DEVELOPER himself told her to finish one of the projects i was working on, and a friend of mine who is infamous of his coding shenanigans left it in my hands before he left as well a couple of months prior (well he was fed up before us, and when i told him to stay with us he said "dude just listen to the motherfucker's voice, i can't do this anymore", my lovely ex-boss has this equally lovely screechy high pitched voice that caused me tinnitus), it's an asp.net project, uses web forms, and a lot of apis, the database is sql server, standard shit but there's no original creation script and i fucked up the only existing database which was in a local computer he used to like calling a SERVER, now to the point: this girl is not a developer, she was however working as a reporter?? kind of like jaspersoft the human or sap crystal woman and she claims that she's pretty good at it, and she's a genuinely good person who was dragged to hell just because she wanted to be close to her daddy (she was working in a different city with more than double the salary she's given now), but she's rich and her dada convinced her to come. she's currently learning java ee on her own so she'd probably leave in the next two months, in her resume she wrote that she know php, well i know php you know php we all know php (the syntax) kind of like mr. shit who passed the sololearn php CERTIFICATE and couldn't stop telling his boss and his boss a.k.a my ex-boss goes "sweet!". going back to the punchline of this rant: she told us that he came to her and asked her to finish the project with php.15
Had to change my avatars clothes, dont want people thinking i dont wash.
Went to check my closet on the app, shit... Im a poor bastard. Dont have enough money, cough i mean points to get that new pair of shoes ive been eyeing.
Got me thinking, we are all essentially sugar mommies and daddies. I always wanted to give that a go, so far im liking it.
Long story short - thanks for this space everyone including the community
#liveLongAndProsper Dev Rant2
Moved to Australia, because it's cooler over there. Pissing on outback stones right now. Who's your daddy?17
Alright. This is going to be long and incoherent, so buckle up. This is how I lost my motivation to program or to do anything really.
Japan is apparently experiencing a shortage of skilled IT workers. They are conducting standardized IT skill tests in 7 Asian countries including mine. Very few people apply and fewer actually pass the exam. There are exams of different levels that gives you better roles in the IT industry as you pass them. For example, the level 2 or IT Fundamental Engineering Exam makes you an IT worker, level 3 = capable of working on your own...so on.
I passed level 1 and came in 3rd in my country (there were only 78 examinees lol). Level 2 had 2 parts. The theoretical mcq type exam in the morning and the programming mcq in the afternoon. They questions describe a scenario/problem, gives you code that solves it with some parts blanked out.
I passed the morning exam and not the afternoon. As a programmer I thought I'd be good at the afternoon exam as it involves actual code. Anyway, they give you 2 more chances to pass the afternoon exam, failing that, you'll have to take both of them the next time. Someone who has passed 1 part is called a half-passer and I was one.
A local company funded by both JICA and my government does the selection and training for the Japanese companies. To get in you have to pass a written exam(write code/pseudocode on paper) and pass the final interview in which there are 2 parts - technical interview and general interview.
I went as far as the interview. Didn't do too good in the technical interview. They asked me how would I find the lightest ball from 8 identical balls using a balance only twice. You guys probably already know the solution. I don't have much theoritical knowledge. I know how to write code and solve problems but don't know formal name of the problem or the algorithm.
On to the next interview. I see 2 Japanese interviewers and immediately blurt out konichiwa! The find it funny. Asked me about my education. Say they are very impressed that self taught and working. The local HR guy is not impressed. Asks me why I left university and why never tried again. Goes on about how the dean is his friend and universites are cheap. foryou.jpg
The real part. So they tell me that Japanese companies pay 250000/month, I will have to pay 60% income tax, pay for my own accommodation, food, transportation cost etc. Hella sweet deal. Living in Japan! But I couldn't get in because the visa is only given to engineers. Btw I'm not looking to invade Japan spread my shitskin seed and white genocide the japs. Just wanted to live in another country for a while and learn stuff from them.
I'll admit I am a little salty and probably will remain salty forever. But this made me lose all interest in programming. It's like I don't belong. A dropout like me should be doing something lowly. Maybe I should sell drugs or be a pimp or something.
But sometimes I get this short lived urge to make something brilliant and show them that people like me are capable of doing good things. Fuck, do I have daddy issues?25
So at school, we were supposed to do an exam through a third-party software that is supposed to block the user from searching the answers in a web browser.
We install the fucking software, lord and behold nothing works and the software keeps crashing...
The teacher insists that we are going to use this piece of shit software. One hour goes by and now the software made everyone's PC go black.
Someone suggests just doing the exam either through an ordinary browser or just by hand.
The teacher that just wasted one hour of fucking exam time lets out this big sigh and finally caves in...
And in a couple of weeks, we are going to use this shitty spaghetti-coded fuckfest called software for something called the "National tests"...
May Sky-daddy bless my classmates' souls and my own8
I usually open this account when my brain is full of shit. So brace yourself if you wanna read next. you won't get any more happier. i definitely am not.
I AM A SHIT RIGHT NOW. So fucking done with everything. a month from now and i turn 21, and look what i have achieved: shitty brain, shitty personality, ugly looks nd no income. But well, most of the people i know are more or less similar.
But what the fuck i am. so less of confidence. can't even write here without a fake account. Coz my original account has details of a cheerful, joke posting swaggy mobile dev guy with good social skills. But am I? where is the proof? I am about to go to 4th year this august, my college (of the "great" indian edu system) wants the students to do internships and fucks. But i don't wanna do that. I had done that twice already when other students were playing and roaming and enjoying their life
So here i am , a so called "dev" not doing any shit in summer.
So what i am doing? wait we wil come to that.
So how's college going? shit. Maybe i am not fooling myself and the other people around me that i am a "so good" dev that i keep my fat ass home during summer and do poorly at college with average attendance & marks. But currently everyone is forgetting me and giving me shit for being a shitty student.
Oh. So how'z family doing? Oh its Bad(even writing that word hurts) to be honest my daddy( i love him so much) was not a good businessman. We changed business from being a small grocery shop owner to water supplier to now a restaurant. mum and dad, they are now in debts that hey can pay but they are trying their best to get a settled life and safe source of income.We are at the verge of closing. fuck. Our food is liked by everyone, but here we need a staff of 7 .Those fucking cheap village labor runs off to their homes in summer. And my dad who should be manager ,has to do tasks like cleaning utensils. Yet he does, that lovely old man.
And what does their "only 21 yr old son" does? fucking sit in their home, doing no shit but sleep during the day and watching a fucking laptop screen during the night.
Its been 2 years of mobile dev. i think i know a lot of things, But i don't feel confident about it. I thought about giving a certification paper that would give me a little boost but i don't feel confident about that too. its syllabus had a lot of things that i didn't know when i saw it first, last year. There are a lesser things now that i don't know. and maybe if i give it a week or two, i would be fully equipped to take that shit.
That's what my plan of action was, this summer. That , along with many other things: To give that paper. To learn 10-12 more frameworks/technology/languages, build 2-3 production level apps ,have a solid resume and then try for companies(but clg wants to force us in getting internships and shit).Also in terms of personal goals: get in shape wake up early, sleep early , exercise,go for runs, eat right. get and learn a fucking 2 wheeler (Yup. that's right. 21 yaer old ,who doesn't have/know how to drive a scooty. family couldn't have bought it then and now i don't want it. another pin of shame on my chest). help my small 3 ppl family in its business.
But all went to this shit that i have made.
>>"Hey X, its vacations now! let's learn this new language/framework/gaming engine that we so much dreamed during our papers" "Meh. fuck it, first let me get give that paper i have been postponing" .
>>"oh yeah you can prepare for that in a week ,let's do this" *15 days passes. no shit is done*
>>"Oh X, you gotta stop wasting time" *downloads another season of oitnb*
>>"Common man. okay stop, let's leave screen, wake up early , focus on body goals" *Wakes up tomorrow, goes to park, does running,exercise, comes home. Ow body hurting. sleeps full day. wakes in evening*
>>"Oh man, you missed the whole day's study" " yeah mann. fuck the morning routine. that makes body full of pain. Let's leave body goals, we can't focus on study coz of that. and what good would a less obese sagging guy be anyway, when you are already 5'4 . fuck exercise"
>>" hmm. okay. but no more web series or sleepless nights" *Goes on watching full series in night and sleeping full day without moving his ass by an inch, while poor family goes onto their routines*
>> "ahh this is getting insane. go meet your friends, you are too lonely. How are they anyway?" Fucking great friends they are. I used to think that i overthink about friendships & othr ppl's actions and should take things lightly. So when a small prank happened and i got out of the 'whatsapp' group, i was never invited in again and am now totally cut off! in real life we are all chill, even when we DM its all gud, but mann , did we all actually chatted in that shitty group only? coz i don't see any msgs in my DM. what the fuck is everyone upto ? I keep feeling those lazy asses are talking w/o me but keep trying to tell myself to not give a fuck coz they don't.
A few days after the vacation, daddy (me) finally finished copying all the photos from the digital camera to the big external hard drive. Left it lying in the living room, in the corner where all the tech stuff frequently lies. In come my boys, and I'm not sure why, they start plugging power supplies around. Unfortunately the one from the laptop fit into the hole on the external disk, but had a different (higher) voltage. Result: 1 fried hard drive, containing all the baby photos and videos of said boys up that time.
I still believe that it's only the circuit board that is fried, and the data is still all there. I still have the hope to find a used disk, replace the board and all will be back.5
Kids of the future will one day ask their parents how they met and it's gonna be like this:
Kid: "Mommy how did you and Daddy meet?"
Mom: "We met by bumping into each other while playing Pokemon Go"1
Just logged into clients hosting account with host gator. I'm greeted with masses of adverts and up sells.
Few mins later I login to clients go daddy account. Yet more adverts and overly invasive up sells.
I hate bulk cheap hosts like this :/
Cannot wait to logout.4
Getting requirements from my dad for a brochure for his company.
"Just make a pdf, 5-6 pages"
"You can take the pictures from these other two pdfs"
"Write some good sentences"
Marketing director changes our corporate presentation and asks for my opinion. I gave him my opinion and then he gets angry and starts talking sh*t. 😐3
Working full time and going back to college......
I got my full time gig in January. This semester I decided to go back for my bachelor's because I only got my associates degree. Honestly balancing the homework and work isnt that bad. It's trying to get ANYTHING ELSE done....like getting and oil change, going to the dentist, etc. I have to use paid time off for all of it now. :(2
Looking for hosting Don’t really know who I should go through? I have used host gator and go daddy in the past and would like to try out some new hosting. What would you guy recommend? And why? Budget for the month would be around 15 usd for hosting max. I would like to host my portfolio and as many domains as possible on the hosting. Please help4
people familier with android (~~ broadcast reciever) , help me out.
I have two activities , main and second. from main , you can go to second if a broadcast is triggered. (eg if flight mode is on, you can go to second activity). I know how to make a reciever for this and the best case here should be that of a dynamic broadcast reciever.
But In the SecondActivity , i again want to implement a similer check, since anyone can turn the flight Mode on and off from the status bar.So if flight mode is on, certain layouts should be shown else not. again a reciever is required
My problem is : is static reciever a better choice, if yes then how can I interact with the reciever, like it should request changes only if either of the following activities are open and application is running..??
(And I don't know why daddy yankee's shaky shaky video is being played in the back of my head)5
Dad was (and is) a technic freak, I played as kid with electronics instead of toys.
I'm always interested to modify things to feel more individual (Own Skins in game, modding, ...)
This and the love to games (-> "I wannaa make my own videogame daddy") developed into a curious computer science student working at IBM that loves to learn anything related to it and I'm so freaking happy about it! ☺️
I remember back when I was in pre calculus I decided to take a class online. So my teacher's website was made by him and run on go Daddy, he taught precalculus, calculus, algebra, algebra ii, and computer science. I decided to penetration test his website and use a web crawler. His directory that had the tests, test answers, exams, exam answers, and homework answer's as well as all the books he's written in PDFs, was unprotected, I could access and download them all. He also had a database directory that contained all the students' phone numbers, email addresses, home addresses, and their full names.
I alerted him to this and didn't get anything in turn :P2
Mfw the CREATE TABLE statements in the SQLite database handler of my latest android app run perfectly first time
Noob alert !
Plz feed me some c# projects!!
Mayn i ve been only reading and learning from book(c# 7.0 in a nutshell) i feel like i need to implement the stuff i learned so paliz help me daddy !
Again i am noob simple uni projects would be fine!
Projects with oop datastructure and simple database would do the job!
But if you have better suggestions feed me !
Best website hosting for an dev profolio and subdomains like go daddy, but can support web apps like discourse or ruby?11
Is there how to get upload and download speeds balanced?
Will we be forever stuck as mostly consumers of internet instead of as much as producers?3
im having this subject in my academic syllabus - VHDL. the teacher was teaching its programming syntax and he didnt know the difference between a hyphen( - ) and an underscore( _ )2