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*click "Empty Recycle Bin"*
*removing 134.389 files. Time remaining: about 15 minutes*
Me: What the fuck is happening?!
*open Recycle Bin*
*see there is 3 node_modules folder*
Me: oh, okay sorry. Thats pretty normal.16
Other people : she said yes :') :')
Me: the client accepted the first draft without asking for changes :') :')2
My boss thinks once the UI is made , the backend and integration shouldn’t take more than 15 minutes.
I want to kick him on the dark side of his moon11
Girlfriend call me while am at a meeting.
I mute my phone...
She calls again and again for the 3rd time back to back. I leave the meeting stating this might be important..
I answer the call...
Me: hey babe , all okay ?
She: you’re busy ?
Me: yeah sorta , tell me wassup ?
She : if you’re busy then it’s okay we can talk later
Me: it’s all right . Are you okay ?
She : yes, but if you’re busy we can talk later ..
Me :(FUCKKKKKKKK THIS FUCKING FUCK WOMEN LOGIC, HOW THE FUCK DO YOU EXPLAIN THIS)
The above statement was said internally
Me:(in reality) you sure babe? I’ve left the meeting so I can talk..
She: nothin much I was suppose to be in your area in a couple of hours so wanted to know if you could meet26
*login screen appears*
*windows says "Welcome"*
*You have entered wrong password*
Are you fucking serious? Can't you even handle simple login flow? Why the fuck you display welcome screen before validating my fucking password? What the FUCK12
Boss man: your code has issues , you should strive to have lesser bugs.
Me: GTA was made due to a bug in the their code.
*mic drop, leaves office, clapping heard in background*
Making fun of a skinny/fat person working out is like making fun of an uneducated man trying to learn7
I started a nee personal project few weeks ago. I named it SelfVPN. Its simply a VPN client that lets you create DigitalOcean droplets and install vpn server without opening DigitalOcean panel. You just need to add your api key in application.
It takes like 5 min to create new server and deploy vpn server. So I am paying hourly usage of vpn! Even if I don't destroy droplet it wont cost more than 5$ a month.
I am thinking to open source it. But code is too messy 😅 Here is the first look of it29
This dude is using 4 screens for work. When I asked for another screen at work,
I can't convince my boss for 2, FML
To the dude who got 4 screens, congratulations, and sorry I used your image without permission. BTW
You lucky bastard14
Nose picking manager.
I mean this fucker picks his nose even when he’s talking face to face,
And am not talking about just cleaning it,am talking about putting the finger in all the way and probably trying to dial a number...6
So my CEO wants me to move to architecting systems!!!!!!!! My dream since a kid !!!
It seems like a mad job where you're a crazy scientist 😂
What should I read or do to be better ?
People here are arguing about a guy using MS word as a HTML IDE,
My boss once showed me how blind people read "colors" by running his fingers over the phone screen.2
Me:(kills the CTRL +S buttons saving something)
Boss: what are you doing ?
Me: nothing much, saving a document.
Boss: is that the best way to save it?
Me: no, it got saved the very first time, the rest is to convince my heart I saved it.
Boss: ... ... ... fair enough.5
What kind of dumb fucks are making these job application forms, initially I thought asking my “sexual preference” was weird but then I saw these !!!!
How does my earlier financial condition or what my parents did when I was 14 help my job application when now I am 28 !!
I feel like a e-hoarder, I keep tabs and sublime windows open and worry about closing them as they might contain important code...
Yesterday a friend of mine asked if I could help her with an assignment. The goal was writing shortest path agorithm in excel. I told her I don't know excel or VB but I will look into it. I didn't even know that we can code in excel 😅 After 1,5 hours of research and coding I writed a well documented code that does the job (with n^2 complexity of course). I feel VERY motivated after this. Because I did well job at an unexperienced environment with a language that I don't know!
Tldr: my new favorite ide is excel.3
Get projects from companies and let students compete to complete those projects ,
Projects could be basic , but the students would get a good chance to see what is being done in real projects what tech is used.7
I... can't... fucking... stop... adding... new... features... to my... personal... projects... Help.9
Finally got time to share my new laptop. I love its rgb backlight keyboard. I will buy a NVMe SSD and second monitor asap.7
- Arrrg! Lets try cleaning first.
- What the FUCK! How does the clean fucking project fail?!? Just delete fucking output you pile of shit!4
*recieves notofication from tinder*
*"somebody likes you. Swipe to find who blah"*
*swipes everyone to right*
17 minutes without single break. That was longest nightmare for me. I had to write 6 lines of code... You know how that feels. My fingers were bleeding and my eyes were burning. Oh maan, I don't even want to remember that hard days.
CEO : this Facebook app has this great feature .
Me: yep, it’s really useful
CEO : can we make something like this in ours too ?
Me : we can sure try using this(x) method.
CEO : cool, I’ll add this into the sales team memo , and btw, it needs to be done in 2 days,
Me : but... but ...2
* User disables notifications *
* Windows gives a notification about disabled notifications *
Fuck you windows! We were watching a movie and windows accidentally restarted and started to update. I HATE YOU!3
*Creates a rest api that runs on localhost:8080*
*Creates React front end that runs on localhost:3000*
*Sends a GET request to api*
*Cross-Origin Request Blocked: The Same Origin Policy...*
Thats my fucking dev environment and its my local fucking host! Let me just send a fucking request to my own fucking machine you piece of shit! Why the fuck they didn't add an exclusion to fucking localhost?!?11
$ npm install ...
$ added 10 packages from 7 contributors and audited 21813 packages.
I realized that after some point you don't even think about your project dependencies growing. Because even adding 10 packages, it looks like it doesn't even changes the total number of packages. 21813, 21920, 21980... Does it even matter? Fuck.7
I couldn’t get a dev duck ,
So here comes Dev Spider-Man!!!
Well he’s obviously good at coding , cos you know , he works on the web 🤣3
As a person who takes a lot of tech interviews everyday, here are a few thoughts
1. You DON’T need to know everything, it’s okay to say you don’t know things. Trust me, we know when you’re lying
2. Rule of thumb, the more the number of questions, the more we like you
3. We don’t mind you saying what you’re thinking when we ask a logical question. It might help us understand your approach to the problem and guide you.
4. Don’t google during telephonic interview, your stutter tells us the truth10
Tldr; my "this is not bug, its a feature" moment actually turned my bug into a feature.
Today we were presenting a project which has imposible deadline. I am developing this small project alone (which is probably good). I implemented core features first but I know project still have bugs and a lot of tech debts. Another friend started to presenting our demo and a wild bug appeared as expected. He was adding rows to a table. To add a new you gotta open new modal by clicking + button and fill the form. One of the fields had a bug. When you add row by clicking Ok button, the value of the field stayed there after you open modal again. So its basically a state problem in React. I forgot to clear previous state of modal. When they see that and my friend said "oh we got a bug there". Then I enabled my mic and said "thats not a bug, thats a feature. I didn't want to enter that field again and again when I adding multiple rows and made it persistent." and you know what? They liked the idea! They requested to add that bug to two more fields. I was just joking and my "this is not bug, its a feature" moment actually turned my bug into a feature. Instead of fixing it, I'm creating more of this bug. LOL!5
*logs in to pc*
- Your password will expire in 3 days. Consider changing it.
+ yeah sure...
*tries to change password*
- Your password must be different from your old 25 passwords
+ What the fuck?!? I mean, really, what the fuck is this bullshit? You force me to use EXACTLY 8 char long passwords and this? Fuck you!5
What the fuck Visual Studio? Last day my app was compiling succesfully. I DID NOT CHANGE ANY SINGLE FUCKING THING BEFORE I LEFT OFFICE. Today it refused to compile. It didn't even show the source of error, just says missing a reference.
- Clean solution, rebuild. Compile error
- Close VS re-open project. Compile error.
- Restart computer. Compile error.
- Close VS re-open project. Compile succesfully.
WHAT THE FUCK DID JUST HAPPEN? I could't believe it if it didn't happen to me. Is this shit compiling just by luck or what?6
I had an interview with a company that works offshore (works for a big silicon valley company) for an internship program. I liked their bosses vision and how he treats his coworkers. After 1 hour technical interview I asked how much they pay for internship and they told me they are not paying anything. And they said hey we are teaching you how things works. Wait... What? Atleast you can pay my transport and food fees. Fuck you and fuck your company. If you don't pay me a single fucking penny, I am not working with you. There is local laws to pay me some money. If you don't care about laws, I wont care about your fucking company. Burn in hell.5
So I wrote code to show the FUNCTIONALITY of my module , which has temporary variables and temporary code.
Boss after verifying : so it's done right ?
Me: no the code needs to be written .
Boss : but it's working...
Me : yeah , but this is a test environment , I need to put everything in place and test .
Boss : so it'll be done in 15 minutes right ?
Me : ...
Today a tester asked me to make a modal smaller. I read the code and saw modal size was explicitly set to "large". So I was about to set its size to default but I asked myself "what if I enter a random string there?" and I set it to "not-so-big". UI framework handled it well and actually set its size to default. I'm keeping the code that way for future laughters.8
Learning to use Lightroom,
The hardest part about editing photos is to not oversaturated them even when you feel warmer colours look better . I guess I overdid it
P.S. that’s me in the picture enjoying the sky pissing on my face (sarcasm intended)5
Me after working on a complex UI given by the designer
Me: it’s done
Designer: the underline is off by 1px
Me: yeah , that how the css accommodates according to smaller screen , it’ll still look like the UI you gave on the bigger screen.
Designer : it hasn’t come out as expected , let’s change the UI and try something new here
ME (inside): YOU PEICE OF SHIT , you should have either spoken to me before designing the UI to know what could be done , or either be happy with the 1% different in the real UI and your “photoshop image”
Me(outside): as you say4
“You want to know the answer to that” is the answer I got to my question about a piece of code...
I guess he thought he’s too good for the job.
The dude had decent amount of knowledge but was arrogant as fuck.
Every time I asked him a question he would react as if I was making him work without pay that too on a Sunday (it wasn’t)
P.S. fucker got rejected2
Wondering who the fuck decided to create expandable menu for a single item. Thats fucking disgusting.4
Story from when game disks were in fashion
I asked my best buddy to burn a disk of GTA vice city so that I can install it on my desktop.
The next day when I receive the disk and insert it into my PC I almost fell of my chair laughing cause that douche bag had copied the icon from his desktop to the disk and burned it .
I almost fell laughing not because what he did , but because he did so when he was in his final year of his IT degree 🤣🤣🤣3
So today I saw someone using that retard units and I get a little bit frustrated. Then a side project idea popped out; a website called something like retard units to non-retarded units. It would simply convert between units and have a clear message that suggests stop using any retard units. Then I hit google to check if similar website exists and boom! I found this:
ITS SO FUCKING BEAUTIFUL. Also it has a feature that blocks you from converting metric units to retard units. A wonderful masterpiece!6
More than 3GB ram is useless on android phones. Change my mind.
I bought cheap lg g5. It has 4gb ram (my old phone had 1gb ram). I have opened chrome with 4 tabs, an AAA game, devRant, Instagram, a vpn app, android settings and I'm listening music. There is still free 1,2 gb ram. Also this is not my everyday usage. I use maximum 3 apps at same time.22
Seeing Mark Zuckerberg multibillionarie. I am poor af (Still student btw). Also looking Linux kernel at GitHub.2
I’ve been given the liberty to choose my job title by my HR,
Can you guys suggest a good one
My current title is Sr. Product Engineer.
They have suggested product manager or technical manager , but I feel these sound bossy
Any recommendations are welcome
As much as I love using a mechanical keyboard ,I fucking hate the taps it makes when others use it
It’s like this constant hammer,
FUCK YOU BITCHES , don’t fucking hit it likes there’s no tomorrow !!!5
FUCKING FUCK ANGULAR!!!!
LIKE FUCK IT IN THE ARSE AND BURN THE MOTHERFUCKER WHILE LAUNCHING A MISSILE ON IT TO BE SURE!
(ﾉ≧∇≦)ﾉ ﾐ ┸━┸
So I am making something on angular and I got everything running in ng serve(development environment) , after handling all issues and showing it to my boss man he approves and asked to put it up on prod for a demo , doesn’t sound like an issue , I make the prod build on cli and BAM! 16 errors ? No issues right?, I’ll just google the issue. Googles.... there aren’t no clear solutions to it as the angular version keeps changing and nobody knows what broke it, I mean people have the issue,but like 100 reasons that can cause it,
HOLY LORD RELEASE A NEWER VERSION AFTER MENDING THE OLD ONE
Angular Dev:We fucked this one, lol what should we do boss man?
Angular boss man: lol just leave it, we need to build the new version with newer bugs,
P.S. I like angular, but it’s like a underdeveloped framework, too many issues and too many changes2
After working for months , I've understood that we should overestimate the time that will be taken to complete a task
But now it's getting annoying , I mean It's been a week I finished my project and am ideal ,
Btw, the project timeline was a week , ( I finished the work in a day )
Theres atleast one fucking bastard that writes comments like "2018?" "2018???", "september 2018?", "still listening in 2019??" in every fucking song video in youtube. Fuck you braindead useless pile of shits! Yes its fucking 2018 and why the fuck you just write it there?? Why the fuck somebody even cares and likes that kind of trash comments?!? Fuck you bunch of wasted human cells. I want to kill all of those fucking fuckwits. STOP FUCKING COMMENTING DateTime.Now.Year IN EVERY FUCKING SONG YOU MOTHERFUCKER CUNTS!5
I get anxiety when I have no work for days,
I am like the fuck is wrong with you body. You’re suppose to be chill, not a monster that wants to work all the time.5
This is not something new but I want to say it loud again.
With all my heart, fuck you internet explorer. Windows should release a FORCED update (sorry for that) and remove it from every fucking version of windows and antivirus programs should detect it as a virus. It should be removed from existence and browser lists and also saying its name should be crime. Also, please remove it and any releated memories with it from our brains.
1. I feed my creativity addiction.
2. I solve my personal problems with automation mostly.
3. Money and food.
Detox for a couple of weeks.
Have been avoiding social media apps like Instagram and Facebook.
It’s day 3, already feeling positive and less stressed
Only downside is what to do in free time8
Just an update : never fucking install windows 7 on a new desktop without first reading , fucking piece of shit won’t detect my SSD , tried different solution over the Internet to no success, after 3 hours of nerve wrecking debugging I read a post on the Internet that “some”(not sure which) versions of windows just don’t detect an SSD,
Finally done by installing windows 10,
But nooooooo will windows let me die in peace, noooooooo
Every fucking time I restart my PC “ windows is installing updates
I mean fuck you , how fucking many bugs do you squash in a day.
Probably some engineer at Microsoft will be “ oops o dropped a donut on my keyboard, let just press ctrl + z” to undo changes and upload , lol “8
Every month I re-evaluate the code I had written previously to compare my progress in coding standards...
Turns out I need a time machine to go back in time and slap myself1
Now I know why companies with shitty managers don’t grow
Me conversing with my senior as to how to make one of our functions scalable which around 10k devs would be using.
Manager walks in
Manager: how’s function x going
Me: great , will be done soon
Manager: you need to finish it by today
Me: can’t do it , too many sub functions need to be reconfigured( which was his job)
Manager: take *insert some managers asslicker’s name*’s help
We will finish it by today , but everybody know how “robust” the output will be
P.S. I didn’t argue because I’ve done that before and it’s like hitting your head on a wall. If you have read my previous rants, you would know1
Due to lack of time, I named all the variables in my project without logic,
Like temp1,str1, function dojson etc
Lord be with the dev who's gonna work on that project
PS I am not a bad person, it is the time that made do such things
Finally , dual monitor , too bad am going on a vacation tomorrow.
Been cribbing about a single monitor since ages (1 year)5
To all those geniuses who keep a finger on my screen to show me what they wanted to be changed ,you need to remove your fucking finger first so that I can see what you are talking about. I fucking can’t see through your finger.
Worst part is when they have huge palms that cover most of the screen2
A home designer ( a.k.a Interior Designer )
Ever since I got my home renovated 5 years ago, I love finding ways to make the houses look and feel better.
Fucking fuck !
I work with a senior Dev,
It’s pretty much like am working under him....
He’s like a great Dev no doubt about it
He’s a fucking dumbass when it comes to working in a team. He makes changes in my code without telling me. He says He forgot to tell me , every single time
When I ask him how a piece of code works , he says it’s pretty much obvious and acts like even a 6 year old kid Would know this ,
He doesn’t think 2 steps ahead before solving a problem usually creating another problem !
We were once working on a language which we weren’t very good at , so I suggested him to ask another Dev in our company about inputs on our code structure to which he completely Disagreed saying they really won’t know much and that he knows more than them..
Fucking dumbass thinks he knows more than most ...
I have tried confronting him multiple times but he feels but he just won’t listen...1
This cat is looking at me like how my manager looks at me when I say am gonna work a few extra hours of work because I like what I do...
Am the one who gave her the milk 😅1
Don't blame the teachers, they don't know the latest technologies themselves, they are mostly graduates, who have almost no work exp, so they might not know latest technologies or how to use em, neither do universities fund them to learn them
P.S. Not a teacher, just put yourself in their shoes2
Forgetting to switch the git branch from master to back to Dev after committing. If I had a penny!4
So if you’re planning on going to Antarctica sometime soon, well then don’t ,
I just want to thank Steam for making steam guard key in all caps. So I dont need to fucking think about if its uppercase i or lowercase L. It would be much better if they do it on all captcha services or just fucking dont use i l o and 0 characters. These are pisses me off. They are so fucking annoying.1
How the fuck do Jr devs end up doing things someone specifically asks not to do.!!!!!
Fucks timelines up
So I asked my Jr Dev to leave a feature as it might not be required in this release and rather concentrate on the thing that is gonna make this release work , the “SAVE” button.
I mean how had is it to understand,
This dude goes ahead and “utilises” days on the thing that isn’t gonna be released(a dropdown) , and no, the dropdown still doesn’t work.
I understand the spirit of solving the bugs first. But what’s the point of solving it if it doesn’t fucking “save”
P.S. I’ve done this too as a Jr Dev :p7
If anyone can help
I need to copy 2000+ DVDs in 3 days. What are my options?
He’s ripping the national archives to make it freely available , he has the legal access but lacks the equipment.
Any help would be appreciated1
Devrant should have a "preview" image option for images uploaded on a rant. You could just end up uploading images of you and your vacuum cleaner doing some "cleaning"
Heads up , not a tech rant
So I now know what you should say if your kid asks what kind of person you should or should not be
So in the picture (sorry it isn’t clear , was taken late night after work) was a common parking area , the bikes parked you see are parked leaving space between at least for 2 more bikes. The owners usually park it that way cos they are too lazy to “properly park”. I confronted them last month and they said they’ll look into it , they have been contacted by various people from my area about this mattter , but it seems they don’t think it matters
So kids , learn to be considerate and not a douche bag , learn to listen and act , not act and listen , and last of all , learn to be a better person , that’s what humans have been trying to do for hundreds of years1
I have started to hate stackoverflow
How stupid can some dumbasses be? Yes a similar question was asked and answered
The duplicate post they’ve marked used to work,USED to , that code doesn’t work anymore.
I mean come on I’ve specifically written I tried that and it doesn’t work anymore. But some fuckers just want to look cool by downvoting other.4
Just ordered my first Alienware laptop.
As much as I want to be excited , I know devices and laptops don’t last that long like they used to years ago5
The best part about working on Someone else's UI bug fixes is that you get to look like a hero when you fix the bugs and make all their work look like a sham - asshole 101
*plays song list of a singer in spotify*
*dislikes and immediately closes after 5 seconds*
Spotify: wHo liKeS ThaT sInGeR AlSo liStENs tO tHiS PoDCasTs!
What the fuck spotify?! I DIDN'T LIKE THAT SINGER. In fact, I didn't even listened to a single podcast. Now every fucking day, I have to see uninteresting podcasts on my fucking homepage. And I cant even disable that recommendations or click something like 'I am not interested'
Spotify: Do you like these podcasts?
Spotify: DO YOU WANNA LIKE IT?
FUCKING NO! JUST STOP! Its been 1 month and that recommendations still hangs on top of my homepage. I had to deal with this and I played somewhat related podcasts to my interests. And you know what? That fucking podcasts are gone! I still dont listen to the podcasts but at least It started to recommend something releated to my interests. Oh god... I hate when you can't customize software you use.9
Just started working on Alexa skills ,
And I must say , feel like a dog lost in a pool of balls plastic balls, while am chained to a pole. So much I can do.. but there’s no documentation as to how things work
All the docs available are old, and I didn’t really understand how things are working5
I am done with this county where people are soooo radical and yet sheepish that they believe what’s shown on news.
Too many things to point out but won’t help .
So I am taking suggestions for countries to move.
Preferably Europe cos US is tiring to shit now22
!! WORST CUSTOMER SERVICE!!
So my Xbox one broke down and I want it to be replaced, since it is out of warranty , I don’t mind paying for a replacement(I heard somewhere they have an offer where you pay a small amount for a new one)
But those fuckers aren’t human, not metaphorically, I mean literally , you can’t call/chat with a human , the only time you can contact a human is after 7:30 fucking PM.
Royal fuck in the nuts witha hammer, you’re Microsoft , not some porn company which is only in one country ,please have a “working” customer service, recommend you guys, before going to buy a Microsoft product , just try to connect to microsoft , you’ll probably end up buying something else
P.S. the image below shows how the only time I can connect to a human is after 7:30PM - 7:00 AM, and no emails too don’t work5
So yeah, I am officially a product manager now!
It’s a hate love relation becoming a manager from a developer6
If you’re having a bad day , always remember , Poseidon loves you..
Reference - kiss of Poseidon
Fixing bugs is like scratching balls , if you're at it for too long and it hurts ....
It's probably time to try a different approach ....
How do I tell my “senior” co-worker that he’s a shitty person while working in a group , I just can’t tell my manager cos they both are good friends, I’ve tried confronting him but it didn’t make much of a difference. This is really frustrating me because I am always seen as the person who doesn’t know shit cos the senior co-worker keep changing the back end and my code 😓😓😓1
What if parallel universe is real and all of us are just a copy of one person with a small differences just like parallel universe.
Food for thought17
I recently un-boxed a pixel 2, though great on the specs side, I wouldn't buy it because of the looks and weight,
It just doesn't feel great in the hand, I mean if am spending that much, I should feel am holding a premium device at hand, but It feels like a dummy,
Camera might be great, but the bezel was too big
I’ve a raspberry pie 3B.
The pi boots up with the OS previously installed on it, theHDMI port works perfectly,
The problem is , I can’t get the USB ports to work, nor does the LAN port works. And the wifi also doesn’t connect automatically donno why , not sure if the wifi wasn’t setup or the chip is gone bad, just need to know what I can do with it4
I was working so hard on debugging a code that I started writing semicolon at the end of a sentence instead of full stop
Need some advice on RAM,
So I’ve a laptop with 8GB ram and I am planning on a upgrade, now if I remember correctly I CAN add a 16Gig stick and it’ll be 24gig, but is it a good call to have different sized ram.
PS. Suggest a ram
Current RAM : HMA81GS6AFR8N-UH
P.P.S - I’ll obviously add RAM of the same frequency10
Anyone here from the UK.
Need a few answers about doing MSc in computer science and job prospects after that in United Kingdom. Any insights would help
I’ve 4 years of work ex
Hi, so I’ve made a site where I upload small(very) projects I work on in my free time, they aren’t huge animation based rocket ships , rather small but handy stuff like basic light-weight alert boxes.
Now am thinking if any one of you guys have some amazing plugins or things you wanna show, but are feeling too lazy to upload, I can give you a sub domain like awesomesheet.simplecode.in(you’ve to upload the files somewhere like 000webhist)
Just let me know in firstname.lastname@example.org
So here it is.
This was made in 2-3 days, so please be kind.
The place is still under construction2
Is there a desktop widget to monitor my websites if they are down, slow.
I know I can have web services for that to receive emails about down websites
But I really just want a simple widget with a simple ui that tells warns me when my website is down4