And you can only hope you don't have to compile it yourself using alternate sources.

I put a lot of work into trying to explain to you muggles what I do all day in a way you can understand (it's hard, trust me) and you still reject it as boring nerd crap. I'm sick of it! What if you told me working at that restaurant is "putting water on plates, wiping it off, and putting meat and cheese between slices of bread" and I said "wtf is that, and who cares?" Wouldn't that hurt your feelings, that I didn't even attempt to make a connection with you, friend? That I didn't even attempt to step outside my experience to meet yours? Isn't it equally insulting how far you have to dumb it down, just for me to lose interest entirely? And yes, I know that's not your specific task. That only proves my point further.

And why, exactly? Conceptually, you handle pre-digested poop all day.
_I teach plastic to think._ Sometimes it even thinks better than you do.
How is my job less interesting?
And what's more, why does EVERYONE seem to think so?

How do you expect people like me to keep your iPhones, bank accounts, and self-driving cars working if you alienate us like an alternate species for building those things? I mean really. You people treat us with a disinterest harmonious with homophobia. "Don't ask, don't tell." Except you do ask. And then you condescend as if working with my brain makes me less worthy of your attention than your exciting minimum-wage restaurant job.

Have fun with that, by the way.

Oh, and you're welcome for <object I fixed that wasn't really broken>. Maybe next time, just google it.
I know you won't.

I'm not an iOS expert, I just wanted to get Google ads on my iOS app so that I could make a few petty dollars at the expense of my users. Is that too much to ask?

I started by following Google's instructions: install cocoapods, copy and paste some swift code... Compile failed, app broke. Carefully retrace my steps. Nothing.

Stackoverflow (praise be with them) suggests upgrading Xcode. Go to app store and click to upgrade Xcode. No progress bar, no status updates, just that pissy little spinner for several minutes. I become impatient try a few more times. It ain't happening.

Stackoverflow (holy of holies, defender of the weak) points me to an alternate source for Xcode, on the app store dev console. 4GB and some time later, an attempt to unzip gives "unknown error". Genocide of sorts.

Stackoverflow (all that is pure, all that is kind, all... I think you get it) says upgrade your OS. I tried months ago but I had issues with that pissy little spinner. Persist. 5GB and a "heavy-year" of time later (sorry), it installs. Then Xcode installs. Then bar a few errors, the app compiles.

So after almost 24 hours, life resumes. The lesson.. respond to all obscure iOS errors by upgrading. If fully upgraded, calmly acquire a baseball bat and destroy your machine. Make sure you have a good book nearby in case of either event.

Thank you for reading my rant. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to pay Apple
$150 so that I may list my app in the app store.

in an alternate universe there exists a clientRant, where clients come together and share their horror stories of dealing with devs.

A mechanical engineer, an electrical engineer, and a programmer are riding in a car.

The car breaks down and coasts to the side of the road.

"Hang on," says the mechanical engineer. "The problem is probably the engine, let me have a look at it and I'll have us on the road again in no time."

"Wait," says the electrical engineer. "The way it just stopped like that, I think it's the electrical system. Let me have a look and I'll get us going again in a minute or two."

"Hold on," says the computer engineer. "Why don't we all just get out of the car and get in again, and then see if it starts?"

Alternate punchlines:

"Why don't we open and close all the windows, and then see if it starts?"

"Why don't we remove parts from the engine until it starts successfully?"

In an alternate universe, Soviet Russia won the Race to the moon, the Cold War wasn't actually "Cold". And Russia took all of America's technology. Changed the programming languages to Russian. You're now forced to code in Russian.

Write about what you'd do, Comrade.

In an alternate universe, devs live in their own country.

They make their own rules and dictate how much they are paid. They maintain the entire world’s infrastructure.

They don’t go to work, since their entire country is the workplace and guess what? Cold beers are free(a thank you from the beer company guys for coming up with all their inventory management systems)

Pizza is free too.

There is no government (laws are passed depending on upvotes on devRant )

No racism, sexism or any other ism ending words . Devs just code.

Oh, and the state police, preferably known as keyboard warriors patrol the streets and offenders are punished by limited internet speeds. 😂. It is said some actually commit suicide because of this unbearable punishment.

Fuck yeah they have coffee farms. That’s the only thing they don’t accept as *gratitude from other nations because those sons of bitches might fuck that up too.

And everyone drives teslas 😂

Okay I have to get back to work now. That multi universe travel machine won’t buy itself.

!(short rant) && (long story)

So these last 2 months of my life have been quite topsy turvy. Everything was pretty much unexpected and now I am on my way to Banglore, which is referred to as the Silicon Valley of India.

All this started in mid Feb when one day my ceo dropped a mail to all of us saying he wants to covey something important. A little background story about my company before I go on. We were a bunch of 6-7 tech guys working on a location based analytics product and had a decent client base. I had joined them in November 2017 and I was very hopeful that I would get to learn a lot owing to the good seniors from reputed universities and their experience. Coming back to the day, the ceo called us and dropped a bomb on us that the funding is depleted and we only have enough money to pay you salaries for this month. "We didn't anticipate that this day will come but currently we are in talks with some companies that are looking to acquire us. I am very much hopeful that we will figure something out by the end of this month(Feb). Until then, I can't stop you from applying to other companies but don't reveal that we are in this situation." So, keeping my fingers crossed I was waiting for the acquisition and wasn't looking for any other opportunities.

The company work was under hold and during this time one of my friends approached me with his idea. Since I had nothing else to do, I agreed to work with him. I was living in Mumbai, the city with one of the highest living standards in India, and I was paying exorbitant rent without any income. There was no news until mid March when the ceo called and dropped bomb#2 that an Indonesian company is looking to acquire us and he had scheduled an interview for the entire team. This isn't what I had signed up for. Indonesia wasn't a country I had even considered, let alone leave the country. Still I appeared for the interview and it went very well.

No news from the company or the ceo after that. One of my friends advised me to start applying to other companies and not rely on this acquisition. Now the problem was I couldn't reveal about the acquisition in my interview, so I used to give some bullshit about me not liking the work here. The company didn't buy it because how can someone judge a company in just 4 months. So obviously I didn't clear the interviews, also partially because I didn't meet their technical requirements.

March end, I moved to my hometown in Gujarat because obviously I had started to get broke in this expensive-ass city. The friend with whom I was working with also didn't have any issue since it was just tech and coding and I could do it remotely. Comes mid-April when the ceo called and said the acquisition is done and gave me some details about it. For confidentiality sake I can't reveal the details but I figured enough red flags for me to go with it.

*Eye of the tiger playing in the background*
Now started my quest of finding a decent job. The edge I had now was that I could reveal about the acquisition to the other company. I started applying left right and center to any company I could find. Amazon, saavn and some good-ass Indian companies. The thing that now came in my way was my experience. I am 23 year old(soon to be 24) with around 20 months of experience. Everyone wanted a 3-5 year experience guy/girl. Soon, my entire optimism was draining and I even considered going back to my first company.

During this time, I got a call from this company in Banglore who were looking for a candidate which best suited my profile. I went all guns blazing and appeared for the interview. I had 6 rounds of technical interview plus 1 logical reasoning. And since I was giving the interview remotely, I had one round on each alternate working day. Everyday was a challenge and I spent the nights in anxiousness and anticipation. Meanwhile I was appearing for other interviews too, since I wasn't too hopeful about my chances in this one.

Cut to April 27, I got an offer from this company and without negotiating they offered me the package I was hoping for.

After this entire ordeal, I realised one thing. Whatever happens, happens for good. Looking forward to this new city, new company, new people and new environment.

In an alternate universe 😂

There could be an alternate universe where devRant is used to share excitement and joy about switching to Windows.

meanwhile in alternate universe I ranted on twitter about devrant being down

Windows should not exist.

Imagine what the world would look like if everyone were only using *nix like Os's everywhere.
How much technology could be more refined and advanced.

Ever open a mail with a body consisting only of "can you look into this?" before noticing a mail exchange is attached, and in it is a week long discussion about an issue new to you where someone has said on your behalf that it will be fixed by the end of the day?

If I'm lucky I might know if someone - and if so, who - is working (or has worked) on that aspect of the system by the end of the day.

There are no words in any language I know that will sufficiently describe how nonexistent the chances are in any of the infinite amount of parallel alternate universes where I implement and deploy a fix by the end of the day.

But sure, I'll look into it.

When arcane code randomly uses octal and you thought it was just an alternate way of writing hex because WHY THE FUCK would you use octal..

( There wasn't even a point with the numbers used )

I am loving this week’s topic.

So many people see their alternate profession as simply following passion and becoming an artist.

The art of teaching, or making food, or producing music, or making things, and so on..

We are so different in our artistic capabilities yet so similar in our professions.

Divided by lakhs of factors, united by love for ranting.

Let the passions not die out!

Cheers! 🥂

Here is a fun alternate history question:
If caffeine didn't exist...

My guess:
Cocaine

I just noticed visualizing git is like a timeline with alternate realities and a lot of time travel. The main branch is the main timeline and the branches are like fixes from the past to try and make the future better they merge when the future is fixed otherwise if someone or something fucked up time traveling it becomes the main timeline.

I'm a php developer.
I don't like preg functions (regular expressions) and i don't remember exactly the syntax for alternate words.
I googled, and this is what I found.

An heart attack.

"Hello, the drive of your XYZ server is getting full, would it be possible to prune some of the unused and/or old docker images and layers there please? Alternatively, we can offer to replace the drives with a higher capacity models for FOO extra per month"

"Hello, the disk use keeps growing and has reached the 95% mark, please prune some of your images to make space for new. If you wanted to choose the alternate option of disk capacity increase, we would have to do that as soon as possible, otherwise you may run out of space before the RAID array rebuilds"

"Hello, your server XYZ has completely ran out of disk space. Any changes that would require data being saved on disk may and probably will fail. Please free some space as soon as possible"

Ugh, I hate clients that just don't cooperate until shit hits the fan...

And no, we could not prune the space ourselves, its not our data to delete whenever we think it necessary.

We merely manage the machine's operation, keeping it online and its services running.

i am writing a piece of code that i already feel guilty about,
alternate is refactoring a complete module.

What if - when you want to switch off the light or anything, you are supposed to get electrocuted and die.

But instead, your consciousness switched to an alternate reality and live, and you wouldn't notice.

Jeez..I need to stop watching scifi. I wont look at switched the same again.

TL;DR Dear boss, firstly, you always get someone to review anything important done by a fucking intern.
Secondly, you do not give access to your fucking client's production server to an intern.
Thirdly, you don't ask your fucking intern to test the intern's work that has not been reviewed by anyone directly on your client's fucking production server.

Last week, the boss and one of the lead devs (the only guy with some serious knowledge about systems and networking) decided to give me (an intern who barely has any work experience) the task of fixing or finding an alternate solution to allowing their support team access to their client machines. Currently they used a reverse SSH tunnel and an intermediary VH but for some reason, that was very unreliable in terms of availability. I suggested using OpenVPN and explained how it would work. Seemed to be a far better idea and they accepted. After several days of working through documentations and guides and everything, I figured out how OpenVPN works and managed to deploy a TEST server and successfully test remote access using two VMs. On seeing my tests, the boss told me that he wanted to test it on the client network. I agreed. Today he comes to me and he tells me to prepare testing for tomorrow and that the client technician is going to give me access to one of their boxes. And then he adds, "It's a working prod server. We'll see if we can make it work on that" and left. I gaped at him for a while and asked another dev guy in the room if what I heard was right. He confirmed. Turns out, the lead dev and the boss's son (who also works here) had had a huge argument since morning on the same issue and finally the dev guy had washed it off his hands and declared that if anything goes wrong from testing it on production, it's entirely the boss's own fault. That's when the boss stepped in and approached me. I ran back to his office and began to explain why prod servers don't top the list of things you can fuck around with. But he simply silenced me saying, "What can go wrong?" and added, "You shouldn't stay still. You should keep moving". Okay, like firstly what the fuck and secondly, what the fuck?.
Even though OpenVPN client is not the scariest thing to install, tomorrow's going to be fun.

What if we were in an alternate universe where Java was a scripting language and therefore was the same as JavaScript, and all non-programmers thought they were different.

American Express is proud to be the official card for Universal Orlando. It also uses Windows XP. WHAT IS THIS? WHAT ALTERNATE DIMENSION AM I LIVING IN? Meh, still better than Windows 10.

you have an intern working in your company, who came in for 3-4 months internship in September,with a notice in advance that he will take 1 month or more of leaves for exams in Nov-dec.

He reminds you in the beginning of October that he would be going on off due to a lot of college stuff happening on alternate days , starting November.

You and he come up to an agreement that its best to free him from his role in october end and he may join gain when he is done with his college work and could come back fulltime

He works full time in September-October with dedication, leaves with complete reports and submitting his code in November.

NOW DO YOU HAVE A FUCKING RIGHT TO HALT MY SALARY FROM OCTOBER?

YOUR FUCKING HRs HAVE BEEN IGNORING HALF OF MY CALLS AND GIVING LAME EXCUSES IN OTHER HALF.

I WAS NOT A FULL TIME EMPLOYEE YOU ASSHOLES, AND YET I FOLLOWED ALL YOUR STUPID RULES REGARDING NOTICE PERIOD AND STUFF! GIMME MY MONEY :/

Why do we post here? Is this just an outlet for our intrusive thoughts? A therapy session for things we can't articulate in meetings? Being able to say controversial things we are not allowed to say other places?

It feels like this place exists outside of time and reality. It really is refreshing, sometimes frustrating, and sometimes really offensive. Things that exist here that would not be tolerated elsewhere:

1. alternate ideas of software, sometimes politics, theories of existence, people liking javascript
2. ostream (I love you man)
3. bullying
4. saying what you really feel
5. telling people to fuck off

What would we do without this place?

Meanwhile my intrusive thoughts:

Dev: We have a data quality problem. Combined with data silos, we can't trust the numbers. We need to agree on metric definitions as a company.

CTO: (Points a PM)Help him on the metrics he has defined. We'll discard any other alternate definitions inside the company.

PM: You can start with these. (Throws a bunch of metrics without their definitions. Doesn't respond to questions regarding definitions.)

After a week of generating aggregates,

PM: The numbers seem wrong.

Fuck I know the numbers will be wrong. Because you didn't give me the definitions and I'll have to deduce them myself.

Seriously guys, how do you deal with PMs who don't cooperate in the requirement analysis?

Why is it that virtually all new languages in the last 25 years or so have a C-like syntax?

- Java wanted to sort-of knock off C++.
- C# wanted to be Java but on Microsoft's proprietary stack instead of SUN's (now Oracle's).
- Several other languages such as Vala, Scala, Swift, etc. do only careful evolution, seemingly so as to not alienate the devs used to previous C-like languages.
- Not to speak of everyone's favourite enemy, JavaScript…
- Then there is ReasonML which is basically an alternate, more C-like, syntax for OCaml, and is then compiled to JavaScript.

Now we're slowly arriving at the meat of this rant: back when I started university, the first semester programming lecture used Scheme, and provided a fine introduction to (functional) programming. Scheme, like other variants of Lisp, is a fine language, very flexible, code is data, data is code, but you get somewhat lost in a sea of parentheses, probably worse than the C-like languages' salad of curly braces. But it was a refreshing change from the likes of C, C++, and Java in terms of approach.

But the real enlightenment came when I read through Okasaki's paper on purely functional data structures. The author uses Standard ML in the paper, and after the initial shock (because it's different than most everything else I had seen), and getting used to the notation, I loved the crisp clarity it brings with almost no ceremony at all!

After looking around a bit, I found that nobody seems to use SML anymore, but there are viable alternatives, depending on your taste:

- Pragmatic programmers can use OCaml, which has immutability by default, and tries to guide the programmer to a functional programming mindset, but can accommodate imperative constructs easily when necessary.
- F# was born as OCaml on .NET but has now evolved into its own great thing with many upsides and very few downsides; I recommend every C# developer should give it a try.
- Somewhat more extreme is Haskell, with its ideology of pure functions and lazy evaluation that makes introducing side effects, I/O, and other imperative constructs rather a pain in the arse, and not quite my piece of cake, but learning it can still help you be a better programmer in whatever language you use on a day-to-day basis.

Anyway, the point is that after working with several of these languages developed out of the original Meta Language, it baffles me how anyone can be happy being a curly-braces-language developer without craving something more succinct and to-the-point. Especially when it comes to JavaScript: all the above mentioned ML-like languages can be compiled to JavaScript, so developing directly in JavaScript should hardly be a necessity.

Obviously these curly-braces languages will still be needed for a long time coming, legacy systems and all—just look at COBOL—, but my point stands.

Scenario A:
Your code is working. You run again, now it's not working.

Scenario B:
Works on production. Next day it doesn't.

It is nothing you just experienced alternate universe. You probably with your manager temporarily jumped into another timeline where your code is not working.

Next time it happens tell your manager it's not your fault.

Eureka!

Had this life not turned out the way it is. Had you not been a dev, what would you imagine you would have been?

I'll go first.. i would probably have been a librarian or a security guard. Someone with lot of time at hand to read.

Boss needs certain stats pulled from database once a year for board meeting. This time I delegate it to a junior dba/sysadmin. He looks at my 3-year-old docs that I hastily jotted down and pasted and included my rambling notes with results from way back then. Mostly they were just to jog my own memory, not to be a really neat, clean instruction guide. He does the queries correctly, but in ticket for boss he pastes also all my notes from the docs. boss gets confused, "what is this other number, I don't get it?!" We have to have a meeting of the 3 of us and waste an hour or so just to figure out what went wrong, finally I realize what junior guy accidentally did. Moral of story: to avoid baffling the nontechs, always simplify, simplify, simplify. Alternate moral of story: before delegating a task that seems old hat to you, always review your notes/docs and make sure they're ready for someone else to use them.

So this one is interesting.

As I have mentioned on my site, I'd be one of the below:

1. Anthropologist
2. Archaeologists
3. Sound engineer
4. Musician or Artist of some kind
5. Travel guide
6. Museum curator
7. Or maybe own & run a Burger joint with Rock n' Roll playing all day

After spending much time in front of screen, I felt like would on field job be better for me, in terms of physical and mental well being?

My new favourite license

# The "You Can't Have It" License (YCHI)

**Version 1.0, October 2024**

**Copyright Me. All rights reserved.**

## 1. Definitions

**1.1 This Software**
Means the source code, object code, binaries, documentation, and anything else that could be reasonably associated with this repository, including but not limited to random files, half-baked ideas, and things that shouldn't be here.

**1.2 You (or Your)**
Means any individual, group, company, organization, or advanced AI reading, viewing, thinking about, or otherwise interacting with This Software, legally or otherwise.

**1.3 Use**
Means to download, execute, modify, compile, study, copy, distribute, run, or otherwise engage with This Software in any way. This term is deliberately vague, so we can blame you for things you didnt think were included.

**1.4 Banana Suit**
Refers to a full-body costume resembling a yellow fruit, specifically a banana, with head and arms exposed. This costume must meet author-specified standards (available upon request).

**1.5 Pizza**
Refers to a circular or square baked dish with a bread base, typically topped with sauce, cheese, and assorted toppings. **Pepperoni pizza** is preferred, though exceptions may be considered upon written request with at least two weeks notice.

**1.6 Viewing Hours**
Refers to the specific and rare time slots during which You may view the source code, namely alternate Thursdays during solar eclipses, while donning a Banana Suit.

---

## 2. Terms and Conditions for Use, Distribution, and Modification

**2.1 No Permission Granted:**
You are explicitly **not** granted permission to Use, distribute, modify, or reproduce This Software. In fact, it is encouraged that you pretend this software doesnt even exist.

**2.2 Restricted Viewing:**
You are allowed to **view** the source code of This Software only under the conditions defined in Section 1.6 ("Viewing Hours"). Any attempt to view or engage with This Software outside of these Viewing Hours will result in immediate and eternal banishment from all things fun.

**2.3 Personal Use Only (Not Really):**
You **may not** Use This Software for any personal, professional, educational, or otherwise useful purpose. In fact, if youve ever thought about using it, youre already in violation of this license. Apologize immediately.

**2.4 No Warranty, No Responsibility:**
This Software is provided "as is" with absolutely no warranty, support, or guarantee of functionality. If it breaks, you get to keep both pieces. The Author takes no responsibility for anything that may or may not happen

So earlier my Windows 10 machine decided to crash to blue screen on me. First time I have seen a blue screen in 4 years. I thought, this sucks. I waited for it to reboot. I logged back in and saw it was busy doing "stuff". Then I heard the hardware attaching noise.

This is what I think happened. I think because I did an update the other day that it had installed new drivers. I think there may be some sort of driver A/B testing going on. So the blue screen gave Windows enough info to know which driver. Then when the machine restarted it either reverted to a known "good" driver or switched to an alternate.

I don't know if this is true, but it is a cool feature if it is. Do other OSes do stuff like that?

How do you spend your compile time?
I alternate between pushups and hackernews

TL;DR: Microsoft updates break drivers, make unbootable. Hours wasted. Such rage.

Lol. I come home, try booting my windows desktop. Need desperately to play some videogames. Power is on. Monitor lights up. Bios splash. Windows startup spinner.

Suddenly, windows startup spinner gone, monitor shuts off. Wait 5 minutes, no change. Force power off and reboot, same behavior.

Google says it's probably a bad video driver. I don't remember installing any in the last month, but heck I don't use this computer for shit outside of games, so may as well do a full OS reinstall and hope the problem drivers are gone.

Reboot and force power off halfway through boot to let windows know something's wrong next boot. Literally no other way to get to alternate boot methods.

Run the reset. First time, percent-counter starts. I leave the room at 30% to go get a sandwich. Come back and it says it's "undoing changes". Something went wrong and I have no way of knowing what.

Oh well, I'll just try again and see what the problem was. NOPE! Completes windows reinstall without a hitch on the second attempt.

Okay, now let's get my stuff back on here. First things first, Microsoft updates for my processor, graphics card, "security". Halfway through the updates, monitor shuts off and I'm back to square one. IT WAS THE MICROSOFT DRIVER, NOT THE ONE FROM NVIDIA GEFORCE EXPERIENCE!!!!

Fucking Microsoft. To all ye who rail against Linux as a gaming platform because of its unstable drivers, observe here the stupidity of Microsoft and weep.

C# has static binding by default. Meaning methods aren't overrideable unless you specifically tag them as virtual. I love how in java you can take someone else's random class and override everything with some additional or alternate behaviour.

Debugging event driven code is "fun"

You know your doing a quick and dirty job for a diagnostic tool when every method you create in alternate namespaces is static...

Suppose I should probably stop doing that aye...

Has to be writing.

Not exactly a better dev, per se, but close enough.

I used to read books and imagine all sorts of possible scenarios to different events. One day, after replaying the Mass Effect series, I began to think about alternate ways to end it. Opened Libre Office and started hammering away. 10 minutes later, I had an outline. Never actually finished that story, but the spark was there.

I began noting down outlines and creating structures for interesting games and books; that soon carried over to my work. Before and after every meeting with my boss, I'd have outlined how the meeting was going to go, and how it actually went. Gave me a sense of order.

This in turn helped me be a better manager (I work with a team of 9), and I tell you guys, it couldn't have come at a better time. I had been promoted quite suddenly, and had been fucking up quite a bit at the start.
I had my shit in order. My team was happier and more efficient. My boss was happy. I was given bigger goals and tighter deadlines. I fucking loved it.

All this, from writing some fanfiction. (there, I said it!)

P. S: I stared at this for a solid minute, still not sure how it all came together.

Tru-lyfe CTO (CTC) stories:

I spelled a juniors name wrong in a commit message...

Am I an asshole?

P.S.: it was 100% fully NOT on purpose, it's just an alternate spelling of the name, i.e. Jakob instead of Jacob (not the name of course, for privacy purposes, just an example)

Does anyone know a single-board computer like e.g. the raspberry pi that features a physical on-board audio input as well as an output?

I know that GPIO-header-boards like e.g. the hifiberry or WolframAudio (which seems somewhat deprecated by now) exist. I could probably also alternate to an USB-soundcard, but I'm curious whether someone might know a more compact solution.

Next to a large pond / lake, trying to connect to & debug & rescue a robotic boat that had gone haywire, flipped upside down and was somehow just spinning in circles.

Eventually realised it was spinning in circles because its props were stuck at full power in alternate directions and acting as fans, so eventually decided to just use them as fans to blow it upside down back to shore.

4 really basic questions. Things you can't get through 1st year undergrad without knowing. One was testing you understand references, one testing understanding of inheritance, then exception handling... Then a bit of a tricky one: what happens when you query 2 tables in sql without a join. That took me a second because it's just not something I'm used to doing.

So yeah it's pretty basic stuff. At this point I was used to writing fairly long code snippets and quizzes with lots of gotchas that make the interviewers feel really smart. I think "ok they basically want to make sure I'm not totally useless and they're fine with training me". But noooooo. Being able to answer all that correctly is really impressive. That's never happened before. I'm a fucking prodigy.

So I got the job and I alternate between thinking I'm in Idiocracy and thinking the reception I get is some sort of elaborate joke

Started playing Skryim again. Playing a pretty big modpack with some really cool mods called: Lost Legacy. It has alternate skills like Pugilist and Unarmored. I can literally punch a bitch with a one shot to death. For some reason this is very satisfying. I wonder what level of my psyche this appeals to. Probably something really animalistic.

These two skills meld really well with playing a mage with no armor. Unarmored skill actually levels faster if you cast an armor spell. So it benefits mages. I also don't have to fumble with weapons with Pugilist.

I had to add Sofia as my follower. Her wit while I punch people to death just fits. I feel like my character is a grumpy old mage that just goes berserk and kills people with his bare hands when upset. Do not disturb my circles, bitch!

I like to name my characters with phonetic names that might mean something else. On the surface it looks like an RPGish character name. But contains another meaning, often vulgar. This character is no different. I have named him: "Rehkuuf". An old Breton bitch of a magic user. Whose only care is learning and acquiring power. I imagine this character doing anything to this cause. Definitely a ends justifies the means kind of person. I am thinking of making him notorious in at least one hold. Not sure which one. So every time I return to the hold I have to kill every guard. Punch a bitch time!

One goal I just thought of: Punch a dragon to death.

I keep seeing news story after news story talking about the progress we’re making in AI and how there are not enough developers to fill the jobs in demand for it. I tossed my alternate career choice of aerospace over two decades ago because there were no interesting career paths in what I was capable of doing (not much because I suck at math). And here I am 22 years deep into a Web Dev career that I feel is going to be completely obsolete well before my retirement age. I either need to do the impossible and get good at advanced math so I can even understand the very basics of AI or I need to win the lottery.

Question to all linux users:
tl;dr MS office alternate for linux?

I am planning on switching from Win to some linux distro. But I hesitate bc I don't know what I should use instead of MS office or how I could still use it. I am searching an office suite that has a rather comprehensive UI, is stable, can be used offline and is compatible with MS Office since I still have to use it in school.
What do you use or would recommend?

Was talking with a coworker about a fictional scenario. I described walking up to the secretary receiving desk and standing there eating donut holes. There is currently a box of donut holes sitting there. I talked about standing there eating the donut holes and just starting blankly at the secretary. If the secretary tries to engage in conversation I would just act as if nothing has been said. Just keep eating donut holes. I described this as being Aggressively Anti-Social (AAS).

I will need to add this to my ideas for a tech movie. Does anyone else think up alternate universe scenarios? These crack me up.

Imagine an alternate universe where websites are actually just raw markup and style sheets.

People read this and imagine what the website look like.

Alternate job if I weren’t a dev:

Painter (but won’t excel as much)
Bartender (would still like to try my hand on it)

Alternate job?
Assuming I didn't go to the university, probably some office job where I mostly had to organize data, I enjoy making and maintaining spreadsheets, even if at a basic level.

Apparently the universe doesn't want me+so to take a holiday. My first proper holiday in about 5 years between uni/being skint was supposed to start tomorrow, nothing too fancy, a week in southern France. Ryanair cancelled our outbound flight yesterday, rebooked and changed accommodation to Sunday, they've just cancelled that too so now slightly frantically trying to find alternate transport.

Fuck.

If your day is bad, imagine that, in an alternate dystopian universe, everyone and their mother are programming through the means of bodyfuck (real thing, look it up)..

Recruiter needs an alternate email so I'm treated as a different person.

Me: I use GMail, just put as many . in the my email as you want...

Omg they alternate crap back and forth between stupidly awful and happily stupid !

Da flying fuck !

Been using a jump drive compiled as NTFS for my sneaker net. I copied some file to it from Ubuntu 18.04. I take to Windows machine and it says there are errors (does this a lot). Usually it works fine. The files I copied are not there. They were downloaded web pages as Windows machine is not on net. I noticed the file names have characters like #, ? and ` in them. So I reformat the jump drive to exFat. I copy the files from Ubuntu plus a bunch of other files. It errors like crazy on stuff that copied fine before with NTFS. Not a solution. So I find an alternate downloader for web pages I want to copy (does not have funky characters in filenames). I reformat back to NTFS on jump drive.

So basically if I want to copy files from my Ubuntu system I am stuck with NTFS and always repairing the filesystem. Yes, all my libraries for exFAT are up to date in Ubuntu.

Is there ever going to be a better way?
When is Windows going to grow up and support ext4?
Why?

Its 2019 and we still have incompatible networks and filesystem formats.

Telling the intern that JS requires alternate semi colons (one every other line) and having him "fix" a script file...

Task on freelancer : There are (too) many adblocker detection plugins. I want you to select one, test it at your local development environment (we will not provide) that it does the following:

- reliably discovers an AdBlocker

- does not interfere with regular ad serving (AdSense) if no AdBlocker is installed at user's browser

****- shows alternate banners (coming from our servers, so they look like regular pictures instead) even when AdBlocker is active *******
OKAY Now reality was that pre thought, pondered by PM ?
anyway adblocks seems doing Acceptable ads* which might be payed for ;)

What if we have devRant on alternate universe, how do you call it?

Alternate reading, practice, and slamming my head into the wall until I could.

School helped too. I definitely learned way more on the job than I did in school.

Jesus Christ, Docker Desktop for Mac is fucking garbage.

Did you start your containers with an alternate compose file? Well, fuck you, we are goddamn idiots who don't know what the fuck we are doing and our piece of shit GUI just doesn't know how the fuck to deal with that.

When you go through your code and find a couple of lines and you have no idea what they are there for or what they do. They you find out they don't to anything at all and you can't remember why you wrote them. (I think I was trying to test an alternate solution to a problem but then walked away and forgot about it).

Those lines are still there, it bugs me, but I will remember.

I have a question for all of you (actually some of you).
Which alternate browsers do you use (less known)? How are they regarding privacy?
I have tried Epic browser, but it's kinda shitty to use

I have been trying to get fiber installed at my location for over a month now. It is really frustrating. They have been out 4 times and every time there is another reason they cannot get it installed. I finally got all my ducks in a row to make it happen and I have to wait until the 20th for the install. Great, my country is literally going full retard and now I wonder if war will stop the install now. Grrrrr......

This brings me to tethering. I have been tethering my internet right now. I have 20GB of bandwidth of 4G speeds. When that runs out I get shitty ass 300KBPS. Yes, bytes per second. You can do almost nothing at that speed. That is using the built in tethering program that comes with Android. This is where I get to the grey area of tethering.

I decided to try the ClockWordMod Tether app to do USB tethering. Apparently that is full speed 4G. So I can work and do whatever with that. I feel like I am gaming the system. Part of me doesn't care, part of me says I shouldn't.

What are your thoughts on tethering using alternate methods. Am I going to the Nether?

I am using windows 11 and my screen keeps on flickering after every alternate restart.
Plx help me :(

Event invitations sent from other people's Google calendar to my German GMX inbox: this still does not work! Google does not let my add my German GMX e-mail address as an alternate address in my account (only a red border around email input with no error text whatsoever) and any invitations to GMX end in your 404 robot page. Seriously, Google?! Seriously, GMX?! But you both have so many customers, why care about details anymore...

most complicated code till now must be the universe......
.....if you know what i mean

There could be an alternate universe where everybody is used to share excitement and joy about the BSOD on Windows. #tux_is_king

Does anyone here have experience with the eBay iOS or Android app, specifically with setting up alternate payment gateways on eBay (other than PayPal) to collect payment on purchased items? I have a client who for various reasons can no longer use PayPal to collect payment on eBay. On purchases made via the website on Desktop there are no problems with Authorize.net. But when people try to purchase via the app specifically, they are given a stupid and unhelpful message to use the desktop browser purchase experience instead. For the client it is costing about 60% of potential eBay sales.

Everything I’ve been reading on eBay’s own forums and elsewhere shows that this is an ongoing and unsolved issue for a lot of store owners and eBay seems to be in no hurry to remedy it. I’ve been over this several times with multiple eBay support reps but all I get are inconsistent and misleading answers. Or maybe I’m just not asking or searching right and the answer is out there somewhere. Any advice?