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Poor Dijkstra is probably crying in his grave because my professor calls him "digest-tra" 😢 feelsbadman8
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This Part 3 and finale of the tale of Mr DDTW, or the worst coworker I've ever had to deal with. I suggest you start from the beginning if you don't have the context, it's been a trip.
Part 1: https://devrant.com/rants/4210605
Part 2: https://devrant.com/rants/4220715
The problem with this man threatening to snitch on me to the professor if I didn't revert my commit was that he backed me into a corner. Letting him go at his pace with his quality standards would have ruined the project for the rest of us, and I'm not going to let three other people's grades suffer because one was lazy. I'm the PM, team lead, the guy who will ultimately be held responsible for this project succeeding or failing and the mediator of problems.
So I snitched first.
The professor knew us. He had an idea of how we worked as a team, who was enthusiastic about this subject, who was diligent, and who wasn't. It'd been half a semester and he wasn't stupid. I'd also taken the not-so-minor task of testing our software and handling all the little integration problems between components and between the professor's server. This had resulted in several calls between me and him because he'd been flying by the seat of his pants with some of the upgrades he'd been doing to the server code and as the fastest group we were the ones running into all the bugs on his end. And he'd also noted our prior complaint and seen the discrepancy in commits, author tags and hours logged. Mr DDTW had been graded significantly worse than the rest of us. So when I sent him a goddamn novel about our team's internal problems, the bomb was set. And so we get to the conference call, with everybody panicking and with no clue what any of this is about. Except me.
Dear god. That call was pure catharsis. Never have I seen a man get demolished so hard. Mr DDTW got a 45 minute LECTURE, a goddamn SMACKDOWN, about how he needs to take some responsibility for this team effort and that in the real world he'd have been fired. And the professor was so incredibly serene throughout! He could've blasted him with the rage of a thousand suns but he said it in such a way that Mr DDTW's only real responses were "yes", "I understand" and "I'm sorry". An entire semester of this useless fucking bitch being nothing but a leech on our team in three separate projects and he was finally getting SCHOOLED. And then, it gets even better. The professor asked how we could solve this problem, as Mr DDTW needs to do work to be graded but he can't hold us back.
I dropped a suggestion: As I had implemented the module in a way that worked, we could carry on using my version while Mr DDTW could work on a separate branch. Everything else was working reasonably well for an MVP, we just needed to improve and test now, so if Mr DDTW got it working we could merge it back into the main branch. This solved the team's problem of not being able to progress, it solved Mr DDTWs problem of not wanting to fail the course, and it solved my problem of not having to work with this shit-for-brains for the forseeable future. A weight was lifted off my shoulders. No more Mr DDTW. No more bitching and no more shitcode. A grating arsehole that had been bugging everyone all sememster put in his place and out of my hair.
On the way home from uni that day, I rang a friend and told him the entire story as I needed to get it off my chest. Every time I brought up a problem, an issue, a setback, an argument, he made a remark.
"Damn, if only he just... did the work."
Every time he said it it was in a slightly different way, but every time it made me laugh harder as he just didn't stop interrupting me with the same comment. If only he did the work. But the funniest part of all was how right he was. Mr DDTW had so many opportunities to just sit down, shut up, and do the work like the rest of us, but instead he decided to do fuck-all until he got flak for it and proceeded to dig his own grave. What sort of delusional entitlement, sheer incompetence or other dumbfuckery was he suffering from to make such terrible decisions? It's his last year of university and he still hadn't learned to just do the goddamn work (I would later find out that his friend had covered his shortcomings a lot and was apparently the reason why he hadn't flunked out of uni yet).
And so ends the story of Mr Didn't Do The Work the worst person I have ever had the displeasure of working with. We never did merge his branch as we ran out of time during testing. The professor passed him, possibly out of pity or just so that he wouldn't have to resit the course and burden some other poor sods. We weren't the top scorers this time, partially because of my shortcomings as PM but mostly because of the huge delays and manpower deficit, but we did well enough to pass the course with some very high grades. With one exception of course.5 -
When I die I want whoever wrote this excel program to lower me into my grave so they can let me down one more time.3
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TL;DR :
"when i die i want my group project members to lower me into my grave so they can let me down one last time"
STORY TIME
Last year in College, I had two simultaneous projects. Both were semester long projects. One was for a database class an another was for a software engineering class.
As you can guess, the focus of the projects was very different. Databases we made some desktop networked chat application with a user login system and what not in Java. SE we made an app store with an approval system and admin panels and ratings and reviews and all that jazz in Meteor.js.
The DB project we had 4 total people and one of them was someone we'll call Frank. Frank was also in my SE project group. Frank disappeared for several weeks. Not in class, didn't contact us, and at one point the professors didn't know much either. As soon as we noticed it would be an issue, we talked to the professors. Just keeping them in the loop will save you a lot of trouble down the road. I'm assuming there was some medical or family emergency because the professors were very understanding with him once he started coming back to class and they had a chance to talk.
Lesson 1: If you have that guy that doesn't show up or communicate, don't be a jerk to them and communicate with your professor. Also, don't stop trying to contact the rogue partner. Maybe they'll come around sometime.
It sucked to lose 25% of our team for a project, but Frank appreciated that we didn't totally ignore him and throw him under the bus to the point that the last day of class he came up to me and said, "hey, open your book bag and bring it next to mine." He then threw a LARGE bottle of booze in there as a thank you.
Lesson 2: Treat humans as humans. Things go wrong and understanding that will get you a lot farther with people than trying to make them feel terrible about something that may have been out of their control.
Our DB project went really well. We got an A, we demoed, it worked, it was cool. The biggest problem is I was the only person that had taken a networking class so I ended up doing a large portion of the work. I wish I had taken other people's skills into account when we were deciding on a project. Especially because the only requirement was that it needed to have a minimum of 5 tables and we had to use some SQL language (aka, we couldn't use no-SQL).
The SE project had Frank and a music major who wanted to minor in CS (and then 3 other regular CS students aside from me). This assignment was make an app store using any technology you want. But, you had to use agile sprints. So we had weekly meetings with the "customer" (the TA), who would change requirements on us to keep us on our toes and tell us what they wanted done as a priority for the next meeting. Seriously, just like real life. It was so much fun trying to stay ahead of that.
So we met up and tried to decided what to use. One kid said Java because we all had it for school. The big issue is trying to make a Java web app is a pain in the ass. Seriously, there are so many better things to use. Other teams decided to use Django because they all wanted to learn Python. I suggested why not use something with a nice package system to minimize duplicating work that had already been done and tested by someone. Kid 1 didn't like that because he said in the real world you have to make your own software and not use packages. Little did he know that I had worked in SE for a few years already and knew damn well that every good project has code from somewhere else that has already solved a problem you're facing. We went with Java the first week. It failed miserably. Nobody could get the server set up on their computers. Using VCS with it required you to keep the repo outside of the where you wrote code and copy and paste changes in there. It was just a huge flop so everyone else voted to change.
Lesson 3: Be flexible. Be open to learning new things. Don't be afraid to try something new. It'll make you a better developer in the long run.
So we ended up using Meteor. Why? We all figured we could pick up javascript super easy.Two of us already knew it. And the real time thing would make for some cool effects when an app got a approved or a comment was made. We got to work and the one kid was still pissed. I just checked the repo and the only thing he committed was fixing the spelling of on word in the readme.
We sat down one day and worked for 4 straight hours. We finished the whole project in that time. While other teams were figuring out how to layout their homepage, we had a working user system and admin page and everything. Our TA was trying to throw us for loops by asking for crazy things and we still came through. We had tests that ran along side the application as you used it. It was friggin cool.
Lesson 4: If possible, pick the right tool for the job. Not the tool you know. Everything in CS has a purpose. If you use it for its purpose, you will save days off of a project.1 -
So I went to a Linux meetup group and there was this dude wearing an Arch Linux shirt and I went straight up to him and mocked him a bit. Had a nice conversation about i3 configs and other nerdy stuff. We stayed in touch via twitter :)4
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The state of the web in 2020:
discussion sites as a medium are dying. chalk that up to censorship.
reddit is an echochamber. twitter is mostly a marketing platform disguised as (anti)social media. instagram is a self promotion/wannabe eceleb site, and youtube is the new hollywood..quickly becoming irrelevant.
facebook is where I (dont) go to (totally not) ignore all the people important to me.
and email is where I go to send letters bordering on hatespeech to my various local and federal "representatives", in between borderline cyberbullying people stupid enough not to automate their spam marketing in 2020. or talking to left/right self-help grifters about the state of society.
in the grim dark future of 2020, the last bastion of intelligent conversation, free speech, and civility, the one shining icon of hope in a dark world..
is the comment section of pornhub videos where a women got stuck under a bed for the 50,000th time. And all I can think is "wow I never knew how easy it was to get trapped under a bed. They should look into fixing this safety hazard."
newsmedia has jumped so many sharks, the fonz now spins in his grave so fast we could hook him up to a generator. meanwhile people hide in their homes for a disease so deadly you have to be tested to know if you even have it.
while ever more car commercials
are released, set to somber but hopeful piano music to the tune of "in this time of social distancing its important to stay close even when we're apart."
Im beginning to think media has become a poison on society, both television and the internet, and like an ersatz cargo cultist worshipping the great-charles- manson-in-the-sky we should all take a page from the unabomber and smash our televisions with hammers before going outside and sawing down the telephone polls.
I jest of course. But there is no denying the inherent appeal of moving from the unsettling uncertainty of complex societies, driven by expertly manipulated fear cycles, to the beatitude-esque simplicty of pastoral protestant style living, sans witch burning and shoe buckles.
And against the reckoning of utopians who are still fresh from the womb as it were, wet behind the ears and smelling of their mother's pussy, I reject the notion that "up" is a synonym for "forward."
Were it the case, every drinking binge, followed by throwing up, would bring us, with each vomitting, one step closer to heaven. Rather the state of affairs is what it is, and what it is, like most of nature, is a cruel master and a harsh teacher. And while we may binge on digital delusions of grandeur and a greater society, rest easy in the nihilistic and sobering thought that we are little more than 200,000 year old cave men wielding magic bricks, and atomic bombs.
..where water flows more readily from metal tubes in our houses than it does from the nile. where food comes to our door at little more than our beck and call.
where we may bath, and sleep, and *shit*, cleanly, comfortably, and safely, wrapped in the (failing) bubble of delusion we all tenaciously grasp collectively, the thing we call "civilization".
an empire of needful things, wanton and fragile.
if we have not gone mad from boredom, I have no doubt we one day will.
it becomes more and more obvious to me every day, had war never existed, it would have been necessary for man to invent it just to have something to do, that didnt include farming, fucking, or building.
And so enters "political idealogy."
How would we ever have enemies if we were allowed to speak our piece instead of being given the means (and reflex dogwhistle training) to silence and destroy one another?
give a man a gun, he'll rob a bank. give a man a bank, he'll rob the world.
give him a media empire or a tech platform, and he'll lie about the theft and convince one half of millions of lemmings to hate all the other lemmings.11 -
Honestly I gave Apple a chance and bought an iPhone but oh my fucking god i’m going to throw this overpriced piece of horseshit they call a phone so hard at steve job’s grave that CNN is gonna report it as a meteor strike7
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Found this in a code base I just started to work with. I'm glad it wasn't referenced anywhere. This is going to be fun...
4 -
Holy shit. Didn't know I had to vent this out before I had revisited this shit.
Storytime!
Back in May last year, I started working on a dream project (call project X) of mine. Surprisingly it's still a novel idea and shit like this doesn't exist. Made some huge incremental changes. Added all the necessary automation pipeline stuff. Added some sick ass readme with screenshots/badges/glitz/glam.
Worked my ass of for about a month or so until I got distracted by other pending projects in need of clearances. Somewhere partway in that clearance period, I receive a mail from this "GitHub user" asking me why the development of project X had suddenly stopped.
I was a bit taken aback. Firstly because my project had ZERO stars and NO user interaction. Secondly because I hadn't encountered someone with confrontation like this since my middle-school teacher asking me for my homework.
Being the good, responsible child I am, I informed them on my situation and asked them to contribute according to the guidelines and I'd be more than happy to see this becoming a joint effort by the community.
Apparently, they were quite ecstatic to learn that my development was halted. They didn't have plans to contribute. Instead they wanted me to take down the project and stop working on it entirely.
Tough luck fucko.
Their organization had been working on something similar for longer than a couple of years. A similar open-sourced project will *apparently* ruin their market impact and I can *apparently* be sued for it.
I don't know much about open-source "laws" (and I've seen laws fuck people over) but this just seems retarded. At the moment, I'm not quite sure how to continue with the project. I'll still work on it but the fact being that I started receiving threats before stars makes me question the gatekeeping capacity of toxic market conditions (I still don't blame the person entirely. It's just really hard to keep your head above the water)
This is a one off thing but somehow it has definitely hampered my drive to work on the project (combined with the sheer amount of pending project that I've dug my grave with).
On the brighter side I've got 10 anonymous stars with zero promotion. 2 new message threads with productive insights and a person who says "I'm relying on this to work out". So not everything has gone to shit.5 -
I did some grave and irreversible mistakes in my life
- Never gathered enough courage to mingle with women when I was younger and now the hope is lost
- Compromised my values and mental wellness when I met a narcissistic bitch
- Did not invest money wisely when markets were sailing low and allowed that good sum to sit in bank
- Did not plan health and term insurance at early age when premiums could have been low
- Out of fear, did not follow my gut to purchase gold because my father was acting crazy (or else my money would have been doubled)
- Did not plan my taxation well (or until now would have paid almost zero tax)
- Did not define strict boundaries and allowed people to overstep (or else I would have better friends and family relationships)
- Did not quit my job early and stuck with low paying shit with negative learning, for years (or else I would have grown exponentially)
Thankfully few things I did right are, spending more time with my mom and learning from my mistakes.
I hope I don't make such stupid life choices again.15 -
Putting chatgpt to some good use. Writing a complaint mail to the idiots maintaining my banking app in the style of shakespare.
Hark thee, App Support Team,
With grave disquiet and vexation doth I write to thee concerning thy recent update of the application. As a software developer, the option to enable developer settings on mine own mobile device is of paramount importance for mine work. Yet thy latest update hath impeded mine access to mine own bank account until I disable this setting. Upon launching the app, it doth redirect me to a browser tab, where I am compelled to deactivate the developer setting to avail of thy services.
This conduct of thine is most unacceptable and unprofessional in mine eyes. It doth seem a transgression of privacy, for thy app doth dictate what settings I may or may not have on mine own personal phone. How canst thou deny me access to mine own bank account information merely on the grounds of having enabled developer options? How doth this option interfere with thy application, such that thou must needs coerce thy users to forsake their phone settings to utilize thy app?
I beseech thee to rectify this issue with all due haste, so that I may access mine own bank account without hindrance. If thou art incapable of doing so, then prithee, might thou recommend a more user-friendly banking application to which I may gladly switch?
With frustration and discontent at this time,
A locked-out person.
Backstory : So recently one of my banking app stopped working and forced me to update to their latest version. As soon as i opened the newer version , it shut down and redirected to my browser with a shitty html page with just one message : Disable developer options on your device to continue using our app. I was extremely frustated and couldnt understand what kind of idiots were maintaining this app.So i decided to write up an email hoping to find some solution for this.11 -
I really, really, fucking god damn it REALLY need to move a legacy project from the grave yard server and get it in git, and then build a dev environment for it, so I can stop making incredibly volatile changes direct to PROD (backend, frontend and DB all at once and then test it while it’s live and being used, but fuck me if I can be bothered digging through a 10GB code base and attempting to make it work in a multi-environment setup when it’s going to be a long trip down the error logs until it works again 😱🔫2
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Gaddammit. My night was going great. Skimming a Dice article, my eyes caught the following: "...to be considered, a language must be Turning complete..."
It's like fingernails on a chalkboard.
Turing complete, motherfuckers, get it right.3 -
Let me tell you the story of how a feature request no one asked for got put in an early grave:
PM walks into weekly meeting with a single use case that one user called in about, despite never having this issue during the past year and a half that our app has been in production. PM's boss (genuinely one of the best people i have ever worked with) happens to sit in this particular meeting for no reason other than he felt like he should once in a while.
PM brings up use case and wants to devote 3 weeks' development time and another 3 weeks to test RIGHT NOW while other projects are already in motion. PM's boss speaks up with this: "Listen if this guy is really this upset, we can just tell him to build his own service. All the other end users have no problems with this, so it's not worth spending the resources on, i don't think."
And that is how i went from "this is bullshit" to "i love you" in the span of 20 minutes.2 -
Read the following in Morgan Freeman’s voice.
Okay everyone sit on down and get ready for story time. There once was a workspace that was a pain in the ass to setup. It often would take an entire day even for the most experienced devs on the team...for it was a workspace perched atop a swamp of shit that would require a whole year to refactor into something that isn’t shit.
It was inherited, passed down, stepped in and scrapped from the boot soles of every programmer that ever touched it. It was an amalgam of old, new, and third party components with a class path a mile long and no package management because the company although physically in the present, somehow maintained a temporal presence in the past. And there was nothing that the team hated more than setting that workspace. In short it was an unholy mess that made Satan cry and Dennis Ritchie spin in his grave so much that the state of California attached magnets and a coil to his body and casket to generate electricity.
Then one day the untalented clowns known as App Group decided that our IDE should be owned and configured strictly through them. They took poor Eclipse and mounted so much silly shit to it that it resembled a riding lawn mower with a fax machine and a blender duct taped to it. Eventually as everything the company touched did, it simply turned into a broken, shitty mess that not even Jesus Titty Fucking Christ could bring back the dead.
And then, every month or so the IDE would break in such a grand way that every developer had to rebuild their workspace...the very same Lovecraftian monster disguised as a code base. It was just too much to bear for old Deus. He was all out of fucks and there wasn’t enough alcohol in the world to quiet his injured soul. So he stood on a chair, carved his name in a rafter and tied a noose to it, put it around his neck and finally kicked the chair out from under himself. I am told he even pooped his pants and the post mortem shit in the seat of his pants was still better than the codebase at work. I’m Morgan Freeman. -
So I just decided I'd hotspot my phone to my laptop (as I have no WiFi) and stream a film I've wanted to watch for a while.
Turns out my shite ass mobile provider wants credit card details to prove I'm over 18.
I'm sorry, what?
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? YOU NOSY OVER CONTROLLING SHIT STAINS! THAT IS A PARENT'S JOB, NOT YOURS.
fucking hell. What is wrong with this fucking race?
Oh, and I can't torrent it because that's blocked too.7 -
Hahaha, well would you Imagine my shock?
https://pcmag.com/news/357465/...
But then again people enable this personal hell to happen
5 -
How do you guys/girls explain to potential new customers that you can perfectly work in a structured business environment and follow the rules, but also that you're assertive enough to oppose desicions being made based on bias, misunderstanding, fanboyism, or grave stupidity.
I just got informed from a freelance position that they would have hired me if it were not for my 'rebellious nature towards customers'
I don't oppose customers, i oppose stupidity unfounded.
Example from experience
> me working in a helodesk support position, all windows computer.
> new mgr comes into office, is a douche and complete mac fanboy
> wants all computers that are FINALLY working decent for some time in the entire department replaced with mac's... Back at 2010.
> whole team, even disliking microsoft themselves, are telling mgr that's a bad, dangerously dumb idea, expensive too, different OS, different software mgmt making, back then integration microsoft and apple was beyond diarhea... Several other issues the senior devs and admins pointed out
>mgr: 'but aple is soh much better, like a billion times better, hurrduurrrrr'
His decision passed somehow to the board..
> All stations from our customers get changed...we don't get a single machine to try out problems because overspending
> we are most of the time unable to help out customers because we still have pc's...
> mgr asks team why performance drops after 1 month
> we compared performance graph with his starting date of mgr, see clear drop after mgr's plan implemented...
> board stilll stands by mgr, gets praise for 'bold changes in the company', but appears to be some associate's son
> two main seniors leave after 15 years of employment, in three months, 80% of staff leaves.
> we canr fix the problems, we are not dev's , we get shit from all sides, i was still a junior in the industry so i worked as a slave inside that job.
> eventually get fired due to 'bad performance'
> mgr loses entire team... 'Hey why don't we outsource this dept to south africa, it's a lot cheaper! '
now that company is an it hellhouse where everyone get clinically depressed from sitting atbtheir station...
This is what i wish to oppose!
How to make that clear!4 -
Seems like ORACLE doesn't know how to display the grave accent symbol on websites 🤔
https://docs.oracle.com/cd/...
Scroll down.1 -
FUCK Internet Explorer
Just fuck it
Go die in a fire and burn the ashes, you outdated, flea-infested, psychopathic bastard. Then drown in your own grave and go to hell.4 -
developer makes a "missed-a-semicolon"-kind of mistake that brings your non-production infrastructure down.
manager goes crazy. rallies the whole team into a meeting to find "whom to hold accountable for this stupid mistake" ( read : whom should I blame? ).
spend 1-hour to investigate the problem. send out another developer to fix the problem.
... continue digging ...
( with every step in the software development lifecycle handbook; the only step missing was to pull the handbook itself out )
finds that the developer followed the development process well ( no hoops jumped ).
the error was missed during the code review because the reviewer didn't actually "review" the code, but reported that they had "reviewed and merged" the code
get asked why we're all spending time trying to fix a problem that occurred in a non-production environment. apparently, now it is about figuring out the root cause so that it doesn't happen in production.
we're ALL now staring at the SAME pull request. now the manager is suddenly more mad because the developer used brackets to indicate the pseudo-path where the change occurred.
"WHY WOULD YOU WASTE 30-SECONDS PUTTING ALL THOSE BRACES? YOU'RE ALREADY ON A BRANCH!"
PS : the reason I didn't quote any of the manager's words until the end was because they were screaming all along, so, I'd have to type in ALL CAPS-case. I'm a CAPS-case-hater by-default ( except for the singular use of "I" ( eye; indicating myself ) )
WTF? I mean, walk your temper off first ( I don't mean literally, right now; for now, consider it a figure of speech. I wish I could ask you to do it literally; but no, I'm not that much of a sadist just yet ). Then come back and decide what you actually want to be pissed about. Then think more; about whether you want to kill everyone else's productivity by rallying the entire team ( OK, I'm exaggerating, it's a small team of 4 people; excluding the manager ) to look at an issue that happened in a non-production environment.
At the end of the week, you're still going to come back and say we're behind schedule because we didn't get any work done.
Well, here's 4 hours of our time consumed away by you.
This manager also has a habit of saying, "getting on X's case". Even if it is a discussion ( and not a debate ). What is that supposed to mean? Did X commit such a grave crime that they need to be condemned to hell?
I miss my old organization where there was a strict no-blame policy. Their strategy was, "OK, we have an issue, let's fix it and move on."
I've gotten involved ( not caused it ) in even bigger issues ( like an almost-data-breach ) and nobody ever pointed a finger at another person.
Even though we all knew who caused the issue. Some even went beyond and defended the person. Like, "Them. No, that's not possible. They won't do such dumb mistakes. They're very thorough with their work."
No one even talked about the person behind their back either ( at least I wasn't involved in any such conversation ). Even later, after the whole issue had settled down. I don't think people brought it up later either ( though it was kind of a hush-hush need-to-know event )
Now I realize the other unsaid-advantage of the no-blame policy. You don't lose 4 hours of your so-called "quarantine productivity". We're already short on productivity. Please don't add anymore. 🙏11 -
!rant
Wish me luck. I am done with the spaghetti mess.
There is a stock management system written using laravel and jQuery. There are mistakes in database structure. There are lots of I-dont-know-what-this-function-do-so-i-should-leave-it-alone codes. There are lots of repeated and duplicated functions.
Gonna start things from scratch and will also start using vue. This week's Thursday and Friday are public holidays here. I hope I can code my ass off and finish the migration/refactoring/cleaning shit by Sunday.1 -
My final exam for Python3. I had previously failed this course, and the exam only had three questions. If I failed to answer one question I would have to take the course over, and my GPA would fall so hard that I wouldn't be able to take the course again. So I was extremely grave, and extremely anxious beyond belief.
I uploaded the two easy answers to the site.
And the last one was so baffling to me I stayed 5 minutes extra to figure it out. I nearly failed so badly.
My GPA is now 3.6 again. (😤 "Triumph" emoji)2 -
If they followed my suggestion and went straight to debugging the server issues they would have been solved it from week 1 and everyone would have thought the migration had a minor performance hiccup. In fact, we have already done such at least twice before and nobody batted an eye.
Instead they self-labelled the migration a failure on first error, setting the stage for apologizing to the client, and put themselves on the spot for a whole staging / production signoff, replication / backup worfklow, almost a blue-green "seamless" deployment reminiscent of DigitalOcean.
Well they're not DigitalOcean, and anyone who has spent any time understanding users knows they will not participate in "new system" tests long enough to find or report issues.
So of course the migration stretched out to almost three months up until the whole reason for the migration - the rapidly escalating risk of the old provider disappearing - hit like a freight train and now they have to go through the problem of debugging the server like I told them to on week 1. Only this time they've set the client mindset against it, lost any chance of reverting, have had grave risk for data loss, and are under pressure to debug other people's code in real-time.
This is why I don't trust devs to do ops. A dev's first solution to any problem is to throw tech at it.
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Here's the changes I propose to the world:
– Every grave should display the formal death cause. Like "asphyxia", "cardiac arrest", etc, not like "was shot dead".
– Every member of a firing squad that performs an execution should have real ammo. There should be no moral escape such as "at least I could be the one with fake ammo so I'm not guilty". Yes you are.
– The word "disk" is deprecated and replaced with "disc" everywhere.
Everything else in this world is fine.14 -
!rant
Me, reading the GPS for upcoming obstructions: “Man, I really gotta learn the different road signs. Because I’m 99% sure that’s not telling us there’s a man digging his own grave up ahead.”
“That’s roadwork, Amy.”3 -
holy fuck, UFOs are now moving to the "mainstream discourse"?????
yes, just like AI, world's ending, all the jobs are gone!!!
just like covid (remember that one?) world's over, we all died!
let me repeat it for you:
shut the fuck up
shut the fuck up
shut the fuck up
what the fuck went wrong with the vast majority of people along the way????
i'm going to the mountains, i'll be back...
never
inb4 "have some creativity fullstackclown!" "isn't it cool to think about?!"
shut up, using your fucking head that is a result of millions of years of evolution seems much more exciting than taking 4 grainy ass videos as truth and getting hyped up about it
show me a shred of valid evidence and i'll believe. however, evidence does NOT include:
- some big wig CLAIMING or SAYING they exist, regardless of their credentials - i don't care if fucking honest abe lincoln himself rises from the grave and says UFOs are real
- a photo or video that looks like it was taken in the 1920s
8 -
First day back at my old workplace and the guy who replaced me as storeman is going to put me in an early grave...
Literally all of the work I put in over the past year and a bit is gone...
Welp... Let's hope I can get a higher up position soon so I can fix this shit heap .-. -
Today I woke up from this craziest dream.
We were in France and there was a younger Mike Patton (who was french) speaking and apparently teaching french to an African girl.
The next scene he's in the back seat of what's apparently a taxi, and brags about how perfectly he can speak English. Besides that I see him playing the guitar.
In the last moments of the dream, however - and confusingly - the song Rusty Cage by SoundGarden starts playing loudly in the background. And that's when I found Patton is also a hacker.
Thinking about this part of the dream minutes aftger waking up, I found it to be the funniest, though not the craziest thing I ever dreamed.
Whereas I tried for hours to edit the configuration files of a tractor demolition game (some sort of Vigilante 8, but with tractors), he gets angry on a lady for an reason unknown to me, and in his moment of rage, manages to jump her houses' fence, surprisingly to edit her /etc/resolv.conf file - as if it was the most evil deed in the world.
In this final part, with Rusty Cage still playing very loudly, I find out me and my sister where watching this scene on TV (apparently patton was also an actor). After that, I comment to my sister in a grave tone: "Well, this guy is dangerous, maybe she should build a higher fence".
Then I wake up.
Although a crazy dream, it clearly addresses the fact I sometimes try to be a lot of things at the same time, and how this overwhelms me...1 -
not a rant. I like poetry. Am a poemfag.
Be very impressed. VERY IMPRESSED!
Okay, well, just cringe through it at least. Smile and nod. I hope formatting doesn't butcher this.
"A King"
a king came to me one day
and claimed you will be my son!
and fame, and fortune, and all things good
yours your cup to overflow, overrun!
happiness and princesses, acclaim to your name
a life of leisure and of ease
land rich in treasures buried,
and swarthy ships on deep seas!
All these things, of emperors and kings
Will be yours to command! Though I warn
you my fair son, it is not as it seems
a charmed life is not grand
for though the riches of this earth
at your call, at your hand,
should find you at my passing, in your wealth
it is a kings fate to be damned
wealth to grave you can not take
and princesses demanding wives are one to make
and ships in harbor soon they rot
and health in age gives way to ache
and land is lost which once hard fought
truly that is rare the happiness which can be bought!
so upon the kingly head, heavy rests the (golden) crown
and though surrounded by apparent friends
never must he let his guard down
and ease which spoiled by fear of loss
magnified by all he'd gained
weary king, my boy, tis his lot,
to die a thousand times,
but never grow old again,
so heed these words my boy
it is not the wealth, or fame, or ease
that makes a man great my son,
but his words and his deeds!2 -
Those who had the "pleasure" of working directly with clients know a thing or two about how a clumsy communication can have grave consequences.
Software developer and an Imgur user BackDoorNoBaby shed some light on these humorous situations and misunderstandings that often occur with clueless clients. Because we all have our niche interests and specializations, and it’s easy to sneer at the plebs who just don’t get it. To be fair though, dealing with unrealistic demands by clients who have no real understanding of what you do must get pretty frustrating at times, and if you work in IT, you’ll surely have come across at least one of these situations before.
What we have here are the daily trials and tribulations of an IT worker. Clients that read the latest trends in a tech magazine and want it right now. Business people who think that because they have the money, solutions should magically materialize. Clients that complain about something not functioning properly, when they clearly don't have a clue how to use it properly. We all know this kind of clients, and these kind of 'horror' stories are part of what makes working in IT so special. Sometimes humour is the only suitable response.2 -
A lot has changed over the last month for me in my life.
The cases are rising crazily now. Thanks to the stupid govt's immature and unplanned lockdown.
Now while over 20k+ cases are being reported every single day, there is no sign or plan to contain it properly.
Two weeks ago, I had a mental breakdown over the uncertainty in future plans ( was planning to get a job in remote company and ditch current job to go back home in this grave situation but it has been delayed ) and burnout from living almost same routine since mid-March. I just wanted to go back to my home state where I will feel safe even if I get infected somehow.
Me and my friends have vacated our rented apartment last weekend. I'm now at the airport to leave this city and in less than 8 hrs, I will be back to my home where I will stay 14 days in quarantine before I can go out again.
I'm glad to have a job which I can "work from home". But more importantly, I'm glad to go back to my place which I can truly call my home. 🏠♥️23 -
If anyone has read any of my posts before you may know, they're usually of a certain... Shall we say, dark, nature?
Well this possibly represents one of the darkest things I've imagined (with regards to technology and programming) I've had.
I was asked if I want to be buried or cremated when I die and they seem so... Pedestrian and I thought long and hard about what would be a fitting way to honour my life and what to do with my remains and it came to me...
I want my flesh to be only partially treated with formaldehyde so chunks of me rot away and others don't.
I want my skeletal structure to be replace with titanium rods with actuators and servo motors where my joints would have been with an internal gyroscope to assist with balance and my corpse will be installed with some sort of IOT controller board with on board wifi.
The companion smart phone app will allow my partially rotting cybernetic zombie corpse to be driven around by a bored grave yard grounds keeper while kids are doing LSD pretending they're all that.
Make them really believe the apocalypse has begun and the dead have risen.
I could be a whole thing for future corpse disposal too.
"Smart corpses, for the loved one who will be more intelligent in death than they were in life."
Although that's probably a bit too harsh...7 -
I wonder a time will come when we as software developers will be on streets protesting to the government to ban use of Artificial Intelligence for writing software.
We are digging our own grave.
Full Story - https://thenextweb.com/artificial-i...
-
TIL the ` character is known as the 'grave' character
meanwhile my 🤡 ass has been calling it 'back tick' this whole time...
🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡14 -
I love to work on very small, but completely retarded shitty projects.
It's just satisfying cause the projects are dead as fuck, only kept alive because the migrations still take too long...
Most of them only work entirely correct when all stars align, Nostradamus raises from it's grave and fulfills the prophecy of world end.
Joke aside, they really only work under very specific constraints....
.......
😈
So no one gives a damn when you just reformat the whole project, making it less of a diarrhea infested mess....
Plus add some much needed sanity by throwing refactoring fission bomb in it.
Still not works entirely correct...
... But it looks way sexier. :)
Small things that count... XD -
I will take the frustration of seeing technology not properly working in Germany with me to the grave. Ticket automat crashing if you directly select the destination, but if you follow the instructions on their piece of paper stuck to the automat to go first to the "Regionaltariff" button and then select your destination, that works. If you have to put a piece of paper explaining your software, because if you do it otherwise, it crashes, maybe you should think about the fact that it sucks.
-
Im currently working on a game, response and feedback is much appreciated.
-- idea--
I'm looking at creatures that will grow when someone that has bad thoughts or intentions.
-- story 1--
This boy grows up in a village that to his surprise, there no other kids in his village. The kids were mutilated. No one knows what happened. The ones with bad thoughts or intention will always be able to see that monster. As the boy grows up, he commits sin that are rather grave and when he grew up to 40 yrs old, he was dangerous person due to his character. His parents only saw his bright side of him and is rather unaware of it.
One day while talking to his mother, he felt rather uneasy, and went to the toilet, as he came out, she was no longer there. Thinking that she must be busy with house chores, he decide to head to the kitchen. Only to be greeted by his mother back facing him. She turned around and gave a big grin on her face that were as long as from one ear to the other. She then grew into a monster. The end
--
The story lacks a lot parts which I need such as gameplay, dialogues, and story itself.
Should I end it as the guy gets murdered? Or let the player think? Or leave as it is?
It's a 2d game though.
Ideas, suggestion or freedback is great!2 -
I had an uncle named Severin. He died just three days after birth because of lung malfunction.
His grave is long abandoned and no member of my very large family can remember where it is.8 -
Computer! I live in a state of constant mental exhaustion. What does this mean?
*BEEP-BOOP*. IT MEANS YOU'RE STRESSED, BITCH.
Interesting. How do I get rid of this... "stress" you speak of?
*BEEP-BOOP*. GO OUT, BITCH. SEE NATURE, BITCH. CONNECT WITH HUMAN BEINGS, BITCH.
Oh, fuck no, that's just not going to happen. Any other tips?
*BEEP-BOOP*. STOP USING DRUGS, BITCH. YOU DRINK TOO MUCH COFFEE, BITCH.
Well, fuck me, I can't do that either; guess I'll just take this with me to the grave. Thanks anyway, computer.
*BEEP-BOOP*. YOU'RE WELCOME, BITCH. YOU'RE GOING TO DIE, BITCH.
Yes, I hope as much. The sooner the better.5 -
My N3DS is currently on its way to its grave. I've had malloc issues since I got it, but recently buttons have begun to fail and it's begun to randomly hardlock, when it happens it's so badly locked up that even NMIs fail to get through.
Luckily, it's hacked, so I can decrypt and export everything now before it's totally toast.
Still feels bad, though... it's been the home of 2 DSi's worth of data for a while now as well as new stuff. It's got some emotional weight to it.5 -
Need some advice here.
So hello everyone! I recently moved abroad for work, for the sake of the experience and the excitement of learning how developers in Latin America tackle specific problems. To my surprise, the dev team is actually composed solely of Europeans and Americans.
I work for a relatively new startup with an ambitious goal. I love the drive everyone has, but my major gripe is with my team lead. He's adverse to any change, and any and all proposals made to improve quality of throughput are shot down in flames. Our stack is a horrendous mess patched together with band-aids, nothing is documented, there are NO unit tests for our backend and the same goes for our frontend. The team has been working on a database/application migration for about a month now, which I find ridiculous because the entire situation could have been avoided by following very rudimentary DevOps practices (which I'm shunned for mentioning). I should also add that for whatever reason containerization and microservices are also taboo, which I find hillarious because of our currently convoluted setup with elastic beanstalk and the the constant complaints between our development environment and production environments differing too much.
I've been tasked with managing a Wordpress site for the past 3 weeks, hardly what I would consider exciting. I've written 6 pages in the past two weeks so our marketing team can move off of squarespace to save some money and allow us more control. Due to the shit show that is our "custom theme" I had to write these pages in a manner that completely disregard existing style rules by disabling them entirely on these pages. Now, ironically they would like to change the blog's base theme but this would invertedly cause other pages created before I arrived to simply not work, which means I would have to rewrite them.
Before I took the role of writing an entire theme from scratch and updating these existing pages to work adequately, I proposed moving to a headless wordpress setup. In which case we could share assets in a much more streamline manner between our application and wordpress site and unify our styles. I was shot down almost immediately. Due to a grave misunderstanding of how wordpress works, no one else on the team seems to understand just how easy it is to fetch data from wordpress's api.
In any event, I also had a tech meeting today with developers from partner companies and realized no one knew what the fuck they were talking about. The greater majority of these self proclaimed senior developers are actually considered junior developers in the United States. I actually recoiled at the thought that I may have made a great mistake leaving the United States to look a great tech gig.
I mean no disrespect to Latin America, or any European countries, I've met some really incredible developers from Russia, the Ukraine, Italy, etc. in the past and I'm certainly not trying to make any blanket statements. I just want to know what everyone thinks, if I should maybe move back to the states and header over to the bay/NY. I'm from the greater Boston area, where some really great stuff is going on but I guess I also wanted a change of scenery.2 -
By looking at the prototypes and technical ideas which I fail to implements due to various reason , I got an idea.
I got an idea to have a kind of grave yard where people can bury their fail prototype and technical ideas and other people can dug them for inspiration or profits.
As the saying goes "One man trash is another man treasure."
I hope this idea of making a grave yard will not be "an actual fail idea"5 -
Today I watched Grave of the Fireflies and I didn't find it sad.
I have seen so many reviews online that people cried like a bitch. But nope, none of that for me.
Am I just a psychopath?10 -
I think I'll clearn and update my Server this weekend (since it's still on Debian 8).Wish me luck or dig my grave.
P.s.: Tips/suggestions/experiences are also very appreciated2 -
Been working long hours and 6-day weeks for not much gain these days. At this rate, I think I will likely end up poor after working myself toward an early grave. My retirement fund actually looks kinda nice when combined with family wealth inherited or that may be inherited sometime in the next 20 years. But the high taxation that’s coming, inflation, and public debt problems that will feed inflation spirals will way more than halve my net worth by the time I am old enough to retire. At that point, I won’t be suicidal but I will be praying to die before I run out of money. From what I see of the local homeless population we try to help, being dead is preferable to sleeping on the street.2
-
Fuck PHP, what a piece of shit language, have to add a fucking $ to every fucking variable wether declared or not, half the fucking functionality of a language such as Javascript with a 1/4 of the features and sometimes these features don't even fucking work properly!!! Like fucking functions requiring to have a function, WHAT THE FUCK? Why does something like javascript .find() HAS TO BE SO FUCKING DIFFICULT!!! Seriously, for all of you who swear by PHP, do the world a favor and dig yourselves a grave and bury yourselves in it. Fucking down syndrome motherfuckers.33
-
Hey guys, perhaps some of you might be able to help me out.
My current task in my job is to implement an OAuth2 client in Android. I know there are a lot of out-of-the-box solutions for like Twitter, Facebook, Google etc. but I need to make it work with a generic OAuth2 server.
So I tried several frameworks for Android like AppAuth, Scribejava, etc. and most of them are buggy/outdated or aren't working with the Android version I have to use (API 24, Nougat).
I already asked for help in the android-dev IRC channel, but to no avail. Also looked up dozens of repositories on Github.
I'm rather desperate right now, because I'm running out of time :(
Any help/pointers are appreciated!
Thanks!1 -
Anyone else planning to raise buried projects from their grave on New Year's Eve....? :P
P.S.- might come with a resolution or two while at it!1 -
I was lucky and have a mother who understands a lot of work goes into making programs work. My dad is basically a technophobe and struggles with the TV and Microwave, but would prefer me to have a job I enjoy rather than one that's going to put me in an early grave.
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