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I tried DuckDuckGo like two years ago and my opinion was “meh, I don’t like the results”.
Yesterday @Root made it clear that the sole amount of data collected changes the whole perspective of tracking.
I went to shower thinking about that and as I was standing there enjoying warm water...
It hit me.
I liked google results and disliked DDG not because DDG was worse.
I liked google results because they were CRAFTED for ME to LIKE them. They exploited my confirmation bias, the strongest of all biases.
I took my other phone which is android, has a different sim that isn’t tied to my identity (don’t ask, this is Russia), was never connected to my WiFi and of course has no google account tied to it.
I tried googling stuff.
The results was just like what DDG gets you, the only difference was google amp were on top.
The fuck. One of the wokest moments ever.113
Trying to learn X on wiki. Immediatelly learn that you suck at everything and need to research more about Y, Z to understand the basic meaning of X.
And that goes on recursivelly.6
Oh my god, look at this beauty. Looks like aurora borealis. Too bad this setup wasn’t successful and is already lost.15
Unofficial memorial of doctors who died fighting coronavirus. It’s long. You can downvote this, I don’t care.
Today I learned Slovakia is in fact a version control system, not country.
Things you find on Wikipedia these days.. 🤔10
To power a Pihole that blocks Ubiquiti analytics from a USB port of the Ubiquiti router itself. Ironic, cynical, yet absolutely beautiful solution.
Ubiquiti can suck my dick.21
Things that still feel like they were yesterday:
- Microsoft buying Skype
- WiFi 802.11n
- USB 3.0
- Android 5.0, Material design
- Microsoft buying Nokia
- “Grid layout is an experimental technology”
Nobody even uses Skype anymore. I’m still looking for “is it support that WiFi n-word” when choosing a router. Yes it supports it. Everything that happened since 2009 supports it. Usb 3.0 was released in 2008, 12 years ago, and I’m still happy when it’s a blue connector instead of white. Android 5.0 was released 6 years ago.
I don’t understand HOW can I know that the newest but not exactly bleeding edge web specs like clamp function aren’t the newest and use them but still believe that grid layout is an experimental technology despite using it in production and FUCKING LOOKING AT CANIUSE TABLE and FUCKING THINKING THAT USB 3.0 WAS RELEASED JUST NOW while working on the laptop that FUCKING HAS TYPE C as its only port
It looks like somebody should go have his time perception module checked15
Wasn’t hired once because “we are startup and we don’t like your favorite meme that much”. Yes, this is what happened.
Their company was gone in two months.
They said my favorite meme wasn’t so nice
Their bodies are now food for the mice9
Firefox is not a “chrome alternative”. Firefox is a better browser. Even if we completely keep the chromium privacy out of question, Firefox is still faster and Firefox devtools are still waaaay superior.14
To that person who came here to weep about how his employees don’t want to work on weekends and how he’s gonna force them to and deleted his rant that was downvoted to oblivion:
Please re-evaluate your mindset. Today it’s just downvotes, tomorrow it’s your entire staff quitting and pressing charges.18
Soviet Union actually tried to fucking TURN RIVERS AROUND to fucking SHOW USA that if it controls nature it rules the world.
They seriously fucked up the ecology and flooded some cities.
Imagine being this stupid.9
@NickyBones I hope you get that PHD
@F1973 I hope you get that good position in a good company you deserve
@theabbie I hope you wake up one day and realize you’re a well-respected expert in your field
@Root I hope you... ah, already bought it
@lor-inc I hope that thing was just fatigue and not a mental illness
@SortOfTested? As one guy once said “@SortOfTested got everything figured out”.20
Goddamn SortOfTested be joking about me needing seroquel and here we go, my psychiatrist prescribed me seroquel today.31
I once observed one guy and he just... lived. Without owing anybody and himself anything. With nothing to achieve and nothing to prove. Without any kind of guilt when he chose just to stay in bed and do nothing or when he couldn’t finish a readme in more than three months.
He was just living, creating digital things he kinda liked. Without seeking for approval. Without making big plans. Like a psychopath.6
On March 10th russian government tried to block or at least slow down twitter because twitter refused to delete some posts that russian govt wanted to be deleted.
Things that were down that day in russia:
- rostelecom (largest russian isp)
- FSB (russian CIA)
- SKRF (russian FBI)
- RKN (russian FBI but for internet control)
- gosuslugi (basically the govt website for all utilities imaginable including but not limited to medical help, taxes, passports, everything)
- kremlin website
Things that were up that day in russia, operating at a regular speed:
0 == ‘foobar’ // true
0 == ‘foobar’ // false
Nuff said. Before you tell me that js also has quirks, just remember that js having quirks doesn’t make php less garbage.28
Bipolar disorder means that you can code for 14 hours straight, sleep for 4 hours and feel refreshed ready for another round. You can make art and you can express your thoughts in creative, kinda alien ways.
But here are tradeoffs that make bipolar disorder a disease:
- everyone around you is an enemy
- they’re all acting together to harm you
- nobody understands you
- they all make fun of you
- if I say what I mean, nobody will understand me. I’ll scare them
- I’m extremely aggressive towards everything: people, things, situations, problems. Computer lags so I scream, smash it, throw it out of the window and buy a new overpriced one
- constant uncertainty about whether am I acting right or not27
If you're a manager that cuts on hardware quality — listen.
When you die, I will contain your soul into the closed cube made of cheap whining SMD coils. You'll be there forever unable to end your suffering and will forever hear that coil whine until the end of time.1
I quit abusive relationship. I quit smoking. I quit vaping salt nicotine, yes, the one that vape bloggers tell you is impossible to quit. I overcame opioid drugs addiction that developed when I recovered after a surgery back in 2015.
My last addiction is sugar. Yesterday night was the night when I ate about 100 grams of it in one take, feeling like I need more and more to take that hunger away. It felt EXACTLY like when I was hitting my 50mg vape literally every 20 seconds no matter the headache and dizziness.
I’m already insulin-resistant. After I’ve eaten all that sugar I felt really thirsty and then it hit me. I don’t want diabetes. I don’t want to inject myself. And I’m already insulin-resistant. It’s not me who crave sugar, it’s my internal animal and it only understands the language of pain and fear of death.
After I quit it, I’m officially a superhuman. Addicted to nothing but self-expression. That’s what I like, that’s who I naturally am.13
Our boss has a camera in the office to "monitor" us, the developers.
He tries to monitor our movements and record the things we say.
I'm curious, do other people do this?
I find it annoying.24
Friend: " How many layers of madlad are you on?"
Me: "uhm... I made a Proot of ubuntu for a ubuntu machine once"
Friend: Watch me
[Sees him use Arch Wiki for his Debian problems]2
I miss windows xp. It was so open and so civilized. The times when you actually owned your computer.21
I don’t need productivity.
People are trying to “be productive” to do the work that they find “important”. Nigga you’re just sitting there making cruds for a company that will be gone in a year leaving no trace and making no impact. And if you’re a scientist and you do research you hate only to “push humanity forward”, remember Yablochkov. He invented lightbulb before Edison. Could his invention push humanity further? Yes it could. Was it acknowledged and recognized though? No it wasn’t.
Making an impact and remaining in history is pure luck. There is no universal meaning in what you do as long as you can’t guarantee that YOUR invention WILL make an impact. You can’t guarantee that. But if there is no universal meaning doesn’t mean you can’t introduce it. I bet significant researchers did what they did not because they forced themselves to but because they loved it and couldn’t help it.
Do things because it is important to YOU, not for someone else.
“But that means that I should quit my shitty job now and I can’t do that, if you’re homeless just buy a house, duh”
When I was in the military, I had to deliver draft orders and make sure shitty computers work. The most boring job ever, right? Instead of suffering I invented my own meaning. Draft order template wasn’t specified so I experimented with typography and learned a lot about typefaces, grids and limitations that mass production introduces. I learned about SoE automation to keep computers fresh. I learned the basics of graph theory to find the most efficient route across the city that would include 30-40 flats I should visit. I also learned basics of social engineering to get what I want even from the strictest people imaginable, the military people.
Productivity is a cuck buzzword invented to make you do the work you don’t love. They tell you about “meaning” and how another startup is going to “change the world”. fuck them. Introduce your own meaning and you’ll never need to force yourself again.
And if some manager tells you that “you isn’t productive enough”, answer with “the only thing that isn’t enough here is my paycheck”.10
I’m tired of all these profane “frontend developers” who do nothing but get cheap internet points by shitting on web technologies.
Bitch, NPM is just a package manager. That’s what it is. Anyone who ever used a package manager already knows how to use NPM.
Here on devrant, there at your workplace, people hear nothing but bitching when you open your mouth. You always need a “solid task description” and “best practices”. You always need somebody else to do your job for you. Frontend is the area where you have to constantly switch between heavy, performance-oriented coding, UX and graphic design while remaining in a dynamic environment that is called “web”, no wonder why you can’t do that. Instead of bitching, you could just present your own solution you designed with just a little bit of product-oriented thinking. But noooo, you fucking bother designers whenever you’re not sure about “how many pixels is that padding”.
You can only be barely productive (and only with a frozen spec) but can never take the lead just once.
In the 80s your kind of approaches were doubted, by the 90s they were dead. In 2020s they’re straight up laughable.
And don’t get me started on CSS. You have to be an absolute buffoon of a developer to not know how to use a DECLARATIVE tool that don’t even require real structural thinking.
No wonder why you praise php. You throw shit all over the place and tell everybody that you’re a “sociopath” and you don’t need that “stupid frontend” and “stupid users”. But you know what? Any real backend or embedded dev would’ve laughed at your face.
Because backend developers are respected.
YouTube: SPENDING 24 HOURS IN PRISON CHALLENGE (GONE WRONG) (GONE SEXUAL) (COPS CALLED)
devRant: SPENDING 24 HOURS STRAIGHT ON DEVRANT TELLING EVERYONE THAT APPLE IS BAD AND MY SECURITY IS BETTER (GONE WRONG) (DATA BREACHED) (DFOX CALLED)21
I don't know what non-German people do without ubuntuusers.de.
Without this wiki, I probably would know nothing about Linux today. I would have never been introduced to it as a child, would never been able to learn that much, play around with desktop Ubuntu, Raspberry Pis, administrate own servers...
So, thank you, ubuntuusers.de, for helping little Benedikt with Ubuntu in his mother tongue, and making me the Linux enthusiast I am today!7
I have established "Depressed Lonely Maggot" Club. Our symbol will be an ugly crying maggot.
You are invited :310
“PHP is evil” is not just a joke.
PHP is usually percieved as a language which is not so consistent and has some opinionated historical aspects but allows rapid development because it’s easy. They say PHP doesn’t focus on that “purist shit” such as concepts and “just gets things done”.
Hovewer, this is not true. PHP lures you in and lies to you promising saving time on development, but everything, and I mean EVERYTHING written in PHP is doomed to turn into a bloody mess sooner or later.
You have to be an AI to manage the growing PHP codebase and add features without breaking anything. With every feature it gets harder and harder. If you’re still a human managing a human team, you have to enforce guidelines. Automatic error preventon measures are made of code themselves so the cost of deploying them ona late stage can be ridiculous. And you never deploy them on early stage because you want to “save time”. Your people have to spend more and more time everyday checking on that guidelines. Your development process only becomes slower and slower. If you try to push things, your project will crumble to dust.
To make PHP at least decent, you have to figure out all this by yourself on an early stage. When you’re done, you spent a lot of time creating the buggy, ad-hoc, unspecified and unsupported alternative of what works out of the box in other languages. And you still code in PHP and still have all its disadvantages in your project’s DNA.
PHP is evil because it promises and never delivers. PHP is evil because it lies to you and it already fucked over so many of us.
If you want to code in PHP, do it under your pillow. Code your own silly projects.
If your project has the word “production” somewhere in its plans, PHP is not the way to go.
They call it “Personalization”, “Analytics” and “Customer Success Research”. But back in time when I was using Alcohol 120 and StarFuck just to play games we called it “Spyware”.
Like it’s only spyware when you do it, but when we do it it’s “Research”.3
When a website has a messed up certificate and it’s so bad that there is no “proceed anyway” button, JUST TYPE “thisisunsafe” AND THE WEBSITE WILL FUCKING LOAD ANYWAY
works in chrome9
I'm very dependent on my sense of smell. I always smell whatever I eat or drink. Because of some stuff about my brain that my doctor told me and I forgot, this sense is very precise.
It's so precise in fact that in a closed room I can tell whether a woman is on her period or not. But we're blessed and we're also cursed – put any kind of paint, nail polish, rotten food, so-called "car perfume" near me and I have a headache until I get a full night of sleep.
Coronavirus however fucked up that feeling. When it initially disappeared I was panicking because I felt like a cat with his whiskers cut off. Now it's back and it's strong as usual, but it's different.
Now I can't eat chicken. No matter if it's fresh or not, if I smell chicken my brain just fucking nopes out and tries to vomit.
Corona sucks. Stay safe.43
I don’t like to judge people based on what languages they like (because I like all of them). But I can’t deny the pattern anymore.
You, my friend, are not one of those people. You are VSCode-dwelling goblin who thinks lambda calculus has something to do with JS arrow function notation, is scared of reduce() and not even good at the single fucking language they know.
Insta coders and that mechanical keyboard collector dorks are not “superstars” you got to be like.11
My 13yo brother will now receive an upgrade from an old hdd to a fast ssd, ram upgrade and most importantly Linux.
Teach’em young and teach’em right11
A non-technical colleague said she bought some bitcoin on a site over a year ago.
She doesn't remember the name of the website.4
My 13yo brother started learning Haskell and latex on his own. When I was 13yo I learned C. I really want to see how his career path will go compared to mine3
in Russian the word “шляпа” (fedora) means not only the specific hat but also something that makes no sense, something ridiculous or something of low quality.
So when someone sends you some spaghetti code on a review, you can just say “That’s fedora” and I love it. You can also WEAR a fedora and point to it as a response to someone saying something that makes no sense.6
CSS quick maffs:
Using viewport units to define font size but sometimes it's too small?
Instead of font-size: 10vw;
use font-size: calc(10vw + 20px);
This will make sure that font size is AT LEAST 20 px no matter the viewport width. Treat the resulting font size like a function of viewport width and feel free to experiment with it. With calc in that case you can achieve the best typeface responsiveness possible.13
Dear intellectual crew, your double-digit IQ little shitposter needs your help.
The situation in Russia is always bad and it will always become worse and worse. In addition to that, it's illegal to have medications that can potentially cure me. Add 15 sunny days a year in my city and it becomes clear that I need to leave.
However, despite the absolute lack of sunny days, I FUCKING LOVE my city, Saint-Petersburg. When I was living in Moscow for like six months, I liked Moscow but I was missing my city every single day. Sometimes I forgot that I'm not in St. Petersburg anymore, tried to figure out what street I'm on, realized that I'm in Moscow and felt like I'm physically suffocating. I always miss my city so bad.
I'm not going to talk about why do I love it so much. If I ever start, I'm going to write a book about it.
1. Is it Stockholm syndrome? I don't miss Russia and don't identify myself as Russian. I only miss one city and I wasn't even born here.
2. How do I leave in that mental state?
This is the only problem that is holding me. Money, finding a place to stay and finding a job I can approach rationally, but my problem I can not.29
- @Root, for everything
- @SortOfTested, for “grass is greener / grass is alive” and everything, too
- @Floydimus, for being so nice to me
- @theabbie, for not cracking under pressure. I admire you and you’re an example to me
- Anonymous members I chatted with over Telegram, for valuable lessons and helping me cope
- girl who raped me
- ex who gaslighted me when I was weak
- sadistic psychiatrist who knowingly prescribed wrongful pills
- ex who abused me when I was on a devastating wrongful therapy
- boss guy who touched me without my consent
- each and every cop and military guy I’ve ever talked to, except WWII veterans
- whatever filled my life with nothing but guilt11
C is like an obsidian razor. Extremely sharp tool, immense power with immense responsibility. You can make art and you can make bloody mess.
Clojure is like a magic rainbow mist. You accept it and it's pure chrysalis, everything is good, everything is fine. You feel cared about, you feel like nothing can hurt you.
Bash is like feeling your stepdad's finger inside your asshole. Shame and shame again combined with extreme perception of wrongdoing that lead to nothing but psychological trauma.1
My arguments about Apple:
- "iPhone 12 camera can be better than anything else because it's more advanced, it has LiDAR and 10-bit codecs"
- "I can copy on my iPhone and paste on my MacBook and vice versa out of the box"
- "My Beats can seamlessly switch from playing from my MacBook to my iPhone to my Apple Watch. I can be exercising with only my Apple Watch and my Beats, no need for iPhone"
- "2K screen with nice colors in a 900g laptop is rare if you consider the price. Apple one is the cheapest one with that characteristics"
- "Apple Pay is convenient"
- "Fingerprint scanners fail with wet fingers no matter if it's ultrasonic or optical, LiDAR Face ID is objectively more secure than any camera-based unlock mechanism"
- "Stainless steel frame feels better than aluminum one"
I'm not saying Apple is the best. I'm not saying that Google Pay doesn't exist or that Apple Pay is better. I'm not saying that Apple has no downsides.
However, these are responses I get:
"But Apple IS crapple, immutably"
"Why are you even looking at apple crap if you want something good"
If you want to bash Apple, bash it for something real like that butterfly keyboard fails, unconventional AirPods shape that makes most people's ears hurt, screen coating fails on MacBooks, App Store commissions.49
Security lifehacks 101
Why pay for password managers? Just use one secure password for every service you use! Password managers are really designed for fools who don’t know that you can just use one password for every service and who are ready to pay for that shit.
The best practice is to use your name starting with a capital letter + your main credit card number + CVC code from the back of that card as your go-to password. It’s long and hard to bruteforce and you can remember everything that way! You just need to remember that one password and you’ll always remember your payment info! No need for apple’s bad Apple Pay which is not so secure after all like everything else that Apple offers.21
Can you guess where the form fields are?
It's the grey area.
Not, not that one, the other grey area.2
A typical bouba coder:
- thinks a kilobyte contains 1024 bytes
- thinks Object.assign clones an object
- codes in react.js, thinks he knows reactive programming
- “amd is better for games, intel is better for work”
- thinks that the main advantage of ssh is that you don’t need to enter your password manually
- watches porn in incognito mode
- “uhm, is it immutable?”
- thinks “persistent” means saved to local storage
- thinks designer is an inferior job because “they only draw shapes”
- thinks good accessibility is when the tab key works
- “All non-mechanical keyboards are trash”
- “C is outdated and nobody uses it anymore”
- “Zuck quit uni and now he’s a billionaire, everybody should quit”
- thinks “pointer” is a shape of the cursor53
I had anxiety regarding webcams. I need a webcam every weekday to communicate with my colleagues, so I glued my MacBook's internal webcam and resurrected this ancient artifact.
Yes, I rewired it to use type c. Yes, no thermal shrink, I actually disassembled it and replaced the whole cable. Yes it works.
To those of you who doesn’t want to do it like this or needs portability I recommend a free app called OverSight, it blasts notifications every time the mic or the webcam is enabled. I learned many new things about my apps with it :)22
You don’t hate X, you hate the word “X” because of a single bad experience with it on an early stage of your path.
You don’t know X because you banned it early and never learned it. The only thing you see is its bad part. Everything has its bad part.
The fact that X has bad apologists doesn’t mean that X itself is bad20
Today is the day when I declare that I once and for all cancel all SJW-attracting topics.
Social relations is a hard topic and it seems like people just can't live together. There is always some group that oppress some other group.
Today I declare that I don't care about all this shit. It bothers me, it weakens me, it makes my health worse. Can I live like 60 more years (I'm keeping things real about my remaining time here) without touching SJW topics? I think I can.
My life would be different. I'm quitting acknowledging SJW topics existence, I'm quitting talking about them. They don't exist for me.
For now I'm planning to focus on art.
Fuck everyone who discriminate, also fuck everyone who fight discrimination with another kind of discrimination.15
Fried potatoes with mushrooms.
In Russian, if potatoes was fried with the mushrooms, the word "fried" (жаренная) contains two letters "n".
If potatoes was fried on their own and only then you added mushrooms, the word "fried" (жареная) contains one letter "n".
You can replace frying, mushrooms and potatoes with different things, but as soon as the concept of "processing ingredients together versus independently" persists, the rule applies.11
You look like someone who unironically puts “JSON” on their resume as one of programming languages they know.
You probably have casual pictures of Dan Abramov saved on your phone.
Now go finish your top 10 coding productivity lifehacks insta tiktok, or go adjust your standing desk one more time, or go type on your custom mechanical keyboard (which probably has different switches for functional keys. Should I call the keys “functional” if a person like this is the only person who presses them though?)
Yeah, you’re a rockstar. Yeah, that next medium article you’ll write is gonna make you famous. Yeah.13
I own my grandfather's Victorinox Swiss Army Knife, probably from the eighties. I absolutely love it — it's just like the standard Unix toolkit. Minimalist, multi-purpose, efficient. This is what I have in my knife:
1. Two blades. I call them master (yes) and slave
2. Corkscrew. I call it "ed".
3. Hole puncher, but not just any hole puncher. Mine has an angular sharp edge to carve holes instead of just punching them. Super efficient for wood, plastic and thick fabric. It also has a hole so it can be used as a needle. I call it "vi".
4. Bottle opener which is also a screwdriver. I call it "more".
5. Can opener. This is my favorite one.
It can help you open just about anything. Any type of cans, closed pistachio nuts, oysters, your barely legal girlfriend's virginity — anything. When I eat pistachios, I'm holding my Victorinox in my hand opening tough ones with the speed of rm -rf ripping through your files. Oh, and it's also another screwdriver. I call it "cat".
But let's take a look at modern Victorinox. Maybe it's better? No, not at all. It's totally metrosexual featuring nail files, nail clippers, nail scissors and a flash drive (not even a good one).
Newer doesn't always mean cooler.
(I have the exact same one, photo from the internet because I'm too lazy)19
The quantity of pain is always constant. People do self harm to increase physical pain for emotional pain to decrease.
The only way to survive the pain of living is to learn how to create and contemplate.
There is no safe space. Agility is the natural way of survival. Something forcing you to “bend” doesn’t make you weak.
Things like discussions and anger rarely change anything but they take energy and tend to breed.
There is no universal meaning. There is no leaderboard at the end. This means you can invent your own meaning. I built my meaning on contemplating what’s right rather than fighting what’s wrong.7
Reject “what if they sell my emails”, accept “what if my own mailserver fails”.
Escape a paranoia by establishing an entire new kind of paranoia.10
A friendly reminder that Firefox is using Google SafeBrowsing by default. Some of your browsing data may be sent to https:// sb-ssl.google.com/safebrowsing and other Google urls.19
My younger brother is a speedcuber and I got this for my birthday.
The albino cube.
Useless, like myself.
Beautiful, like myself.
And btw it’s no shabby dollar-store piece of crap, it’s a real magnetic competition-grade cube.7
Remember when I was praising ubiquiti? Forget about it. It fucking spies on you. Not gonna even try to openwrt it, I just throw it away. I don’t care.19
While talking to hostile managers, don’t say “doesn’t work in chrome” and “works in Firefox”. Say “doesn’t work in blink” and “works in gecko”. Don’t say “we need sync”, say “we’re currently choosing between a CmRDT and a CvRDT”. Don’t say “code was slow”, say “oof, an unacceptable big-o and a huge runtime penalty”.
Their ego is too much to ask what this means. And you’re still sound perfectly understandable by your fellow tech guys.
Don’t lie. There is no need. Just present your ideas in a professional way.
Also if a hostile manager is willing to break their ego and ask and finally educate, you can make a good colleague who understands. And the knowledge and the willingness to understand the problems of “tech guys” would spread much quicker from your fellow educated manager to other managers than from you to them.
If you’re a Russian ux engineer who is present in a Russian ux community and you fucking make your form validate on change event and that leads to the situation when a user starts entering their email and your bouba form immediately throws WRONG EMAIL errors, we don’t call you a bouba.
We call you a ебанок (ebanok) — a small, stupid and miserable creature that you can only feel hatred mixed with disgust towards.
This shit is acceptable if you’re an intern making their first shy steps creating their own personal project, but if you push this to production, you’re a ebanok. If you don’t know how to do ux, just use server-side validation or display errors with alerts on submit.
You fucking ebanok.8
fdisk, cfdisk, diskpart and other tools CAN SUCK MY DICK.
I needed to restore my raspberry pi microsd from 200ish MB back to 16 GB and could find NO WAY of restoring it from my pc. maybe there is some ajbd -asdkasd -adkahdh IUYGFG_&38726283746 sdkfjksjf command that does that but I don't give a shit.
I plugged it into my camera instead. One second and my microsd was restored.
Canon doesn't care about your fancy partitions and other shit, it's just fucking blasting, it is like IN YO FACE. I love it.6
Hipsters be writing inefficient code, meanwhile me being me doing this shit in O(1), always blazing fast, always exactly one transition no matter if it's one image or one thousand. Damn it feels good to be better programmer than those guys working at Medium.
On that day five years ago, Debian creator died under shady circumstances. His twitter was gone minutes after his last posts.
The lack of coverage, heck, the lack of basic awareness about death of THE CREATOR OF FUCKING DEBIAN is astonishing.
Twitter archive (the actual archived HTML) — https://archive.vn/OPlI7
Pastebin (raw tweets text) — https://pastebin.com/yk8bgru5
Goodnight, Ian. We miss you.12
The name of the inventor of the Li-Ion battery is John Goodenough and I think it’s beautiful. His name truly resembles the exact concept of what a lithium rechargeable battery really is.
I decided I should finally relocate from Russia. As one of the people I value much once said, it’s not about grass being greener, it’s about grass being alive.
I’m not going to buy a property here. Instead, I do this all at the same time:
- fixing my health (eye surgery done, quit smoking half a year ago, quit sugar several months ago, now through dental care and an obesity treatment with newest novo-nordisk stuff and sports, so far so good)
- gaining some momentum (newsletter launched, articles and open source stuff are published on a regular basis, it all gonna assembly to make my new website and a v2.0 media presence)
- saving money. Fuck rouble, just converting everything into usd covers up all commissions and taxes and basically makes me money
I’m going to accomplish all this and finally relocate.
Being attached to my city is a bias and a mind game. I just need to leave.18
A regular russian trolleybus (electric bus, a really old and popular way of public transportation). A ticket is ~70 cents, fixed fare, accepts Apple Pay / Google pay / Samsung pay13
Sometimes I get distracted because of a very technical joke that I don't get initially, but am determined to understand.
4,000 Wikipedia articles later, I understand the joke and now know the history of the pushpin (or some other off the rails object)
– we expect you to know the concepts of immutability, persistence, software architecture and systems theory, methods of analyzing complexity beyond the big-O notation, safe parallel code execution with web workers, WASM, modern web standards including working drafts, progressive enhancement and graceful degradation, WCAG recommendations and web accessibility in general, UX strategies and modern graphic design trends. Nice 20k github stars you got there. By the way, what's your opinion on modern optimistic UX?
– I know this all but I somewhat disagree with some status-quo UX strategies
– unfortunately it's a no
– Do you know how to wipe your ass?
– *excited hysterical jumping with head nodding*
– You're hired26
The letter for my grandpa. Too bad he died the year before I was born, my grandma said he would’ve loved talking to me because it seems like we have the exact same ways of thinking.3
Vape bloggers be telling people that it's impossible to quit vaping salt nicotine but I quit successfully. Here's how it went:
1. I took my addiction to the point when I vaped three cartridges a day (that's a lot). I remembered that feeling and recalled that dizziness and urge to vomit instead of "pleasure" when I wanted to vape again
2. It's hard to quit on your own. Instead of nicorette and other shit that doesn't work (because it's also nicotine), I took Cytisine. It removed that URGE and the only thing left to tackle was a psychological addiction
3. Vaping and smoking in my head was tied to a cool moments that I experienced, like smoking with the boys after a hackaton, etc. I analyzed them and realized that they're cool not because of the fact of smoking, they are cool per se. So smoking was not necessary
In my last days of cytisine therapy I not only forgot that I vaped, I sometimes forgot to take cytisine. That means the therapy was successful. My average running distance already improved from 1.5 to 3 km.
There is a research that quitting consuming nicotine can help cure depression. I'll check on that6
Noname Russian $17 wireless charger somehow makes less high pitched coil noise than my fancy nomad charger.
Yes it’s ugly. Yes the led is blasting and yes I painted over the led with a black nail polish.
I disassembled the nomad charger and located the coils that were making noise. I’m going to either fill them with epoxy (a common technique used by gpu enthusiasts to get rid of coil noise) or replace them completely.
nomad — bouba
noname russian charger — kiki5
I’m gonna spill some tea about devrant at the comments right here. If you’re a perfectionist and/or easily infuriated by UI imperfections, don’t go at this rant comments.12
Who are you gonna “fuck”? Who do you “hate”? Who are you calling “motherfuckers” on the internet where your targets can’t see what you posting?
You look like you close the refrigerator door with your hip. I suck dicks literally and there is nothing to be ashamed of but you suck dicks metaphorically when you accept everything they require. That’s the difference between a gay and a faggot. I’m gay but I can say “no” to anything my client or my employer says without losing my job because I have the authority and I have the expertise.
You, on the other hand, have nothing. You only brave when no one can hear you and there is no repercussions.
That’s why you only act tough with delivery guys and cashiers.9
My olfactory hallucinations really made things complicated. Not only whatever I eat that is not raw iceberg salad smells like rotten flesh, I also can’t choose a deodorant.
I got nivea one and threw it away.
I got old spice one and threw it away.
Now I got chanel one and I like it and I DONT FUCKING KNOW if I like it because it smells good to me or because I’m actually hyperconsumerist no matter how hard I deny it. Does being a hyoerconsumerist make me bad? What is bad in that context? Is a kind of reasoning bad only because if everyone follows that reasoning the world will be fucked? Are there good reasonings then, but not like zen, the ones that actually lead to scientific progress. Is scientific progress a good criteria to judge?33
Finally added the info that I can help people to my website.
If you want me to help you to find a job just dm me https://t.me/uyouthe
If you’re a newbie I’ll add you to slacks where you can learn faster and probably find people who hire juniors12
Today is a “check your private banking” day.
Call your concierge and ask them to order a prostitute for you.
If your concierge refuses, your bank is a bouba and you should change it.7
Every time you buy something to “treat yourself” or because you “earned it”, you become a victim of how well modern marketing exploit your mind biases.4
When I think "the fundamental problem", the closest thing that comes to my mind is "unsolvable problem". P =/!= NP is a fundamental problem, the theory of everything is a fundamental problem.
But we actually solved at least one such problem – the fundamental problem of cryptography.
The problem was "how to establish a secure connection over a non-secure channel?" Like you can't exchange the key, it'll be exposed by definition.
We solved it with a simple yet brilliant solution of asymmetrical cypher, that thing with public and private keys.
It's fascinating to think that people died in WW2 over this, there were special operations to deliver fresh deciphering keys securely and now SSH and HTTPS are no-brainers that literally everyone use.10
Went through changing Apple ID email. I have 💻,📱and⌚️.
Felt like that horror movie moment when protagonist tries to be stealthy but makes a noise and a huge mob of zombies turn heads all at once. For what I love apple, the simplicity, in the email changing process there is none of that.
They forced me to enter my 60 arbitrary obscure characters password on Apple Watch screen.
On the other hand I felt nostalgic. When I was using Linux this all was my day to day experience no matter the distro, and I got a Linux Foundation certificate, I contributed to Elementary. Can’t imagine the experience of a user who just switched to Linux.
Windows? I don’t want to think about that, let alone talking. You only need to know that I successfully configured a SoE setup AND active directory in ad-hoc unstable network of literally rusty old computers. And I still switched to Linux back then.4
All Russian luxury brands are scam. And I mean ALL of them. No matter if it says "made in England" or "made in France" on the package, it's still a scam if it's Russian deep inside. It's just the regular shit repacked and sold at 20x the price.
Here's the algo:
1. You lookup the brand name that claims to be luxury
2. If it has something to do with Russia (Russian executives, etc) — it's a scam.
This doesn't cover the regular, non-luxury brands. AK is still a good weapon, KMS is still a good windows 10 crack :)12
If you’re a frontend developer but you don’t know when to use -, when to use – and when to use —, you’re not a frontend developer. You’re a monkey.17
This is what you get for free if you go shopping in Russia.
🎵Service is selling🎵
🎵Selling is service 🎵15
If every car in the city does have a license plate but this one particular car doesn’t, it’s not anonymous, it’s easily determined as “that one car without a license plate”.
If every request does have a source but only the CIA ones don’t, they are not anonymous because “no source huh, it’s CIA”.
For governmental agencies to be anonymous they need everyone else to be anonymous so they can blend in.
So they created a network. This network called Tor.
But no, tOr iS cReTeD bY cOpS sToP bEiNg a ShEeP
(I know that you theoretically can be tracked even if you use tor, my rant is not about this)5
Look at this guy. He can barely talk but already be messing with some tech stuff.
I remember myself from the age of five. I remember two things: how they asked me how old I was and I looked at my hand showing all five fingers and that I always knew I’ll be doing something tech when I grow up.7
I fucking trashed nomad and fucking told them why their chargers are noisy and how to fix them, I also told them all about how they make their brand appear premium but inside it’s just the same tech that you can get from wish for tenth of the price.
Look what I got today.
I also made a YouTube channel and I’m planning to post there from time to time https://youtube.com/channel/...7
I hate Sass.
When installing all NPM dependencies with npm i, it's always quick, but not with sass. Ooooh myy goood. It starts compiling. It always misses something. Your node version is always not what sass needs. It pulls out gyp which requires some native shit. The build is never reproducible, it always fails with some horrible two mile long poorly-formatted stacktrace that is just gibberish.
More than that, sass is just poorly designed tool used by frontend fuckboys to write imperative, nonstandard, non-maintainable styles. If you know shit about css, you don't need sass.
I'm so happy it's going to die along with gulp. Webpack and css modules are here.
Yes, css-in-js that has a runtime penalty is also shit. If you like its syntax but dislike everything else, use Linaria. It has no runtime penalty and looks just like other css-in-js solutions.14
stoic: drop the soap accidentally, get fucked in the ass and tolerate it <-- YOUR LEVEL
modern: polish your dexterity skills to never drop the soap
postmodern: you can't drop the soap if you don't use soap
metamodern: drop the soap on purpose, enjoy the process <-- MY LEVEL15
My quest towards privacy goes on.
Apparently TabNine AI autocomplete talks not only to api.tabnine.com, but also to serene-waters-6626.morning-tundra-7160.herokuspace.com.
Too bad I got firewall on both incoming AND outgoing connections.7
Why pay $7/mo PER PROJECT for heroku that runs on aws when you can just pay $5/mo for Linode that has opt-out data sharing and you can install Caprover or Dokku there to have the experience similar to heroku and create as many projects as your hardware allows you, $5 for all?7
Here's the changes I propose to the world:
– Every grave should display the formal death cause. Like "asphyxia", "cardiac arrest", etc, not like "was shot dead".
– Every member of a firing squad that performs an execution should have real ammo. There should be no moral escape such as "at least I could be the one with fake ammo so I'm not guilty". Yes you are.
– The word "disk" is deprecated and replaced with "disc" everywhere.
Everything else in this world is fine.14
Imagine a multi driver high quality balanced armature earphones. They have stainless steel ear channels and replaceable meshes. They’re also made by apple. Seems impossible in AirPods era?
No. Apple made them. They are really good and extremely comfortable. They are rare nowadays but here in Russia I just bought brand new pair for just $50. They sound awesome.
I listened to JH Layla and everything by Noble Audio. This forgotten apple earbuds still sound awesome.
It’s not a 3am rant. They actually exist. I have them.31
Boubas: adjusting their sleep schedule by forcing themselves to go to bed early. Result: bouba turns all over the bed for three hours straight trying to find a comfortable position, sweats, stands up to adjust windows and AC, now it’s too cold... ends up actually falling asleep later than usual, wakes up fucked, as always.
Boubas who think they’re kikis: take melatonin pills. Result: bouba can’t sleep without their bouba pills.
Me (the kiki): wear blue light blocking glasses from five o’clock on. No blue light = no melatonin burned, go to bed at 11pm, sleep like a teen girl after a rough teen sex with her teen boyfriend.
Yes I sometimes wake up at 3am but that’s because my brain is too kiki to sleep. I feel refreshed, TOO refreshed in fact.8
Today’s frontend bitches appropriating functional programming like “ancient programming secrets” is exactly like eighties con artist bitches appropriating yoga and ayurveda like “ancient well-being secrets”
Just plain wrong and laughable
Go learn cs11
Does social media make you suffer? No? You sincerely enjoy Instagram and TikTok?
Then never listen to all that "social media detox" crackpots. There is no need to feel guilty about what you enjoy.
Some people find social media detox relieving. But some people don't. Detox supposed to make you feel better. If it doesn't but you keep blaming yourself and keep going just because some ray-ban-wearing hipster told you so, stop.
Watch your TikToks. Leave yourself alone.2
Look at dat boi. He's the most poisonous animal known to humankind and he looks like THIS. He don't have to prove anything, you just touch him and you ded.
That's why I only reply to you boubas when I feel like having fun.9
Come on bitch. Fucking tell me how programmers were better in the "old times".
People fucking died because of stupid race conditions and bad practices.
Yo rate my investment portfolio! I tried to build it to ensure the best possible stability:
33% binary options
33% random cryptocurrencies
1% AT&T stock (one piece)5
Now I do frontend. I'm a very sloppy and clumsy programmer when it comes to anything that isn't CSS. But when it comes to CSS I'm the ninja, I'm the absolute killer. I go very hard on CSS, I did my very best to know it inside and out. I chose CSS to be my scalpel language, my expertise.
Terrible choice isn't it? I don't think so. Because of my CSS my websites require only a minuscule amount of JS, and JS also more prone to bugs than CSS. So 1000 lines of CSS can never cause a runtime error but even 1 line of JS can.
Client-side pseudo-routing, pseudo-random patterns, persistent state, all-declarative custom data attributes that'll translate into UI, linting and many more – I can do it all in CSS only.
In CSS the order of properties doesn't matter. In CSS you can't write bugs, they are merely glitches that are easily fixable. In CSS you can't cause a runtime error. CSS is very fast (thanks browser optimizations) and powerful yet invulnerable without JS, there is no eval(). CSS never disappointed me. It's declarative, it just does what I tell it to do, nothing more and nothing less.
I'm now at the point where I can do responsiveness without media queries and dark modes without JS, I also lint my webpages' accessibility with CSS only and no JS linter.
CS background + one language that you know at the prodigy level = you're almighty.
Bonus quick CSS maffs – quit using transition: all. https://codepen.io/uyouthe/pen/...6
Thirty birds went on a journey to find their god Simurgh whose name was set in stone. After insane challenges and hardships they found out that the word Simurgh meant "thirty birds".2
Any hospital manager can manage ten IT departments simultaneously, any IT manager can’t even manage his own emails, let alone one department. Change my mind.
Because when you built the UI and you watch how the end user interact with it, it’s like watching your kid approach their first love, or like watching moon rover landing except you designed and built the whole program by yourself.
It’s just magical.1
My image of dream career through different times of my life:
- frontend specs prodigy, css enlightenment, a member of w3c or a similar committee
- indie hacker and entrepreneur, leader of a startup community
- architecture prodigy, expert in scalability
- transsexual evangelist, popular article writer and a rockstar
- hardware engineer: Linux, C, chip and dale’s Gadget-like girlfriends, xkcd, latex, assembly, buying a radio station and a telescope
- scientist like NickyBones, papers, data, more data
- art expert
Though achieving one of this would take the entire life, I had a chance to grasp all of this. WHY does they feel so incompatible? Why do I have to choose?
Why do I feel so sad? Why do I feel like I haven’t achieved anything even though I objectively achieved what I dreamed of like five years ago?
Is it true that it’s in my nature to always seek an environment to feel like a junior in? Is feeling like a junior only pleasant to me because it reminds me of old times when I wasn’t actually this mentally ill and was still happy?
Why do I feel like that arduino and C shit is the equivalent of a red corvette?6
Can anyone tell me what’s that “cultural appropriation” bullshit is all about? What does it mean to appropriate some foreign culture?22
Now I see the big picture.
One year ago I was focused on food and things like that and I was happy. Some time later I was focusing on comfort with all that wireless chargers and fancy things, now I’m focusing on privacy.
Looks like a classic Maslow scheme to me. I think my departure to a different country is inevitable.8
So when softbank puts billions into some bubble startup that’s “disruptive” and “being a visionary”, but when me and the boys buy some gamestop stock that’s “manipulating the market”? Ffs 🤦3
Best? Clojure docs. They have disqus-like thing under every function description where anyone can submit their usage example. One example times forty submissions equals forty examples!
Also w3c specs, nuff said.
Worst? GunJS. Multiple websites that look like each other plus GitHub wiki all with the same content but idk which one should I use, also there is no complete source, you have to look up everywhere. Also NextJS, they’re too busy pitching to investors, there is no way of contacting them, you’re in your own if you choose nextjs, that’s why I banned it everywhere I have the power to ban things
When you refer to the Arch wiki and your files are different to what step one is, so you just wing it.1
I received two emails today inviting me for video call interviews at two companies I applied to.
I am supposed to select a date for this week or next week, but our office resumes work on Monday, the 7th.
I only have tomorrow and the day after (3rd and 4th) left for this week. I need time to prepare, so I am thinking of booking one for 4th and one for next week.
I am trying not to start the year by skipping work. I already skipped work in December because of a brief illness (lol).
I am thinking, if I go to work on that day, I might get summoned into a meeting and miss my interview. So, I have concluded that I will have to skip work on that day, but now I can't think of excuses.
I’m collecting the offensive words that target me personally. The more it stings the better.
I only need single words, the simpler the better. I don’t need a long burns.
Once I collect them, I’m planning to give them to my future sexual partner to call me proper names while they hatefuck me during a consensual non-consent session.
So please help me :)25
I just had a nightmare like I open the fridge and there is a cup with rotten slices of ham inside it and I look around and there is my ex with 8 hands telling me to E A T I T
and there is a feeling of complete helplessness and immense fear like I'm going to die right there. It's like suffocating in your sleep it's awful1
If something is functional and you don’t think it’s beautiful, you should rethink your definition of beauty.
— Some moron, 201711
Just realized that my abandoned dockerfile “bizongroup/alpine-curl-bash” has over 100 000 downloads1
Apparently I made a better Notion for my tasks.
I was making websites using Notion. I made https://pwagym.com this way. Deploying this kind of stuff is a huge pain in the ass involving Cloudflare hacks and sometimes researching PRs in an abandoned repo to make this all work. I still have to do this for living content like guidelines.
However there are websites that you just deploy once and forget about them. Notion is notoriously slow and has so many analytics bullshit.
So I made Potion. It's just a CSS file that you attach to your HTML and it looks like it was made in Notion. Obviously lacks live editing and stuff, but works oh so much faster. Also it's much more accessible and works better than the actual Notion on mobile devices.
Kinda rough around the edges but it's okay for just two hours of work I put in. I'm now planning to add cover images, cover emojis, make a full release and call it a project.
Feel free to use!
Friendly reminder that if you disable remote content in your email client, the feature that almost every email client allows, there will be NO WAY for all those bloody spammer corporations to know that you even opened the email. I also prefer my emails with no graphics, I find them more beautiful that way.3
2am, saving to post later because limit
I want to see a cartoon about a rabbit 🐰 and a frog 🐸 hating each other and constantly fighting over who’s a better jumper and they enter a jumping competition that is very tough for both of them and they somehow begin respecting each other over time
I love froggos. I want a pet froggo 🐸7
It’s midnight and I clearly remember having a graphing calculator with every button saying “SISTER” instead of whatever it needs to say
SHOCK CONTENT PROCEED WITH CAUTION
Star tattoos on knees means "I'll never be on my knees for cops", "I'll never do what cops say" in russian criminal culture. However, these tattoos are dangerous. Russian cops don't like them. If you're just arrived to a russian prison and they see the tattoos (and they see it), they tie your legs the way that makes you knees face the ground, then two cops hold you and drag you around the huge asphalt prison yard until there is no stars on your knees, only the naked kneecap bones or lack thereof.
I have to leave but it's psychologically hard because russia is the country that gaslighted and threatened me into becoming a slave. It's a stockholm syndrome and I want to break it.14
To all my people who don’t like to code emails (the sane people): there is MJML. It’s an easy, quick and overall the best way to create emails nowadays. You won’t need to learn quirks, you can learn MJML in a day and make pretty much any email you need.
There’s even a vscode live preview plugin, don’t know about other ides though but I’m sure there is something.
LONG LIVE MJML4
My iPhone is called “Beyond”. I can’t remember why. When my friends added me to their iMessage, I was listed there as “Beyond”. In a way, this name is associated with me.
That being said, you should taste Beyond Meat.7
It’s 1am, I’m pretty sure that even though I’m in my bed now I’m also standing on the stage telling a hostile community “and now with the help of tiny hacks we...” I can’t finish the sentence because the whole mob is screaming at me and the worst part of it is that I don’t care about them. Shame is an emotion. To feel shame you have to be alive, you have to have a personality. I don’t feel shame. It scares me.2
I know you pals know much more than me about privacy. I have these questions to you all:
- can google still know trends about me if I only use google docs and google drive to store files I share with other people and rarely update it? Let’s say I don’t use google search or any other google service ON REGULAR BASIS
- does chromium actually works as the measure to get rid of google tracking if I don’t want to use Firefox?
- how safe is apple (miss me with that Apple hate)? How bad is the fact that I let apple store my regularly updated health information and I use iPhone?
I’m not talking about triple letters here (FBI, CIA, etc), I’m only talking about collecting and selling data across companies12
You had two additional weeks to improve your project.
You could research different marketing strategies to increase revenue. You could add some new features to attract more users and ensure your existing users are satisfied. Finally, you could optimize performance to make your UI quicker.
But you’ve chosen to write some unit tests. Now that two weeks are gone, you got no new features, no performance improvements and no new marketing strategies while your competitors got them all.
Tests caught obvious bugs that can even be caught by static typing, but you by definition couldn’t write tests that’ll catch unpredictable bugs, so they are still present.
After six months you realize you have to rewrite a major part of your project because your project (surprise-surprise) has to chase market needs to stay relevant. Your tests are thrown into trash along with your old code.
“Having trouble with code quality? Write a lot of tests. And I mean a *lot*. Test every file in isolation. Mock as many imports as possible.
When you're done, your code will still be bad, but now your tests will make sure it's impossible to improve anything in any meaningful way.”12
I have an emotional conflict again.
I fucking WANT to squish a soft and warm chubby girl right now.
But I fucking FEAR women.21
Cocktail recipes list:
1. "Google's Ethics"
Take an empty glass
Cocktail is ready!
This cocktail is also known as "CPP – The Good Part", "Jumble Function Security" and "The Profit of Unit Testing".6
To be honest I expected Big Sur to run somewhat slow on my old MacBook with core m3.
It runs faster and snappier than Catalina. And oh how beautiful it is.27
I had an uncle named Severin. He died just three days after birth because of lung malfunction.
His grave is long abandoned and no member of my very large family can remember where it is.10
Being a zoomer means leaving your favorite indie musician on repeat overnight for them to earn a bit more money.
Being a zoomer means never leaving a one-star review on your Uber driver because if you do this, they fire them, put them on an internal blacklist that is unofficially shared between such bloody companies and they'll never find a job and probably die of starvation.9
I have a pill anxiety. My two medicines I need to take everyday come in 10-packs, and I have to take two pills of both. So if packs are somehow misaligned, for example there is 8 pills left in pack 1 and 6 left in pack 2, I wait until pack 2 is gone and I throw away pack 1 with two pills remaining.
So I decided to pour all my medicines into two jars so it isn’t immediately obvious how much pills there is. Pill anxiety gone.10
Futurice: we are inclusive and we are pro equality
Also Futurice: we're not gonna relocate you because you're Russian, sorry ^_^1
soft skills provide hard skills
hard skills implement concepts
concepts create culture
culture dictates soft skills3
My most recent dream:
I come to the bookstore and see the 1000-something pages book called "We are not cucks". It's about how stoicism and how to defeat biases with thought experiments. The author is a German guy named ?.?.????rreize, I can't remember it precisely.
Everyone on the internet is discussing this book and why it is important. There are hashtags, influencers and virality.
Some time later the other book is released, 2500-something pages fundamental stuff called "We are cucks" with criticism of "We are not cucks" and whole new theory about why biases can't be defeated because of some "layers" IIRC.
they say everything "old" is better, but in programming, dependencies in C was a mess. Shut up. Sometimes C is a cult enforced by those who don't even write in C. Now I build my projects with Parcel in less than a second with no configuration. It uses a full-blown AST for everything. If I want more performance with similar DX, I use fastpack, bringing build time down to tens of milliseconds.
art? charli xcx, sophie xeon, death grips, just to name a few. they made things that weren't imaginable before, ultimately pushing music forward. Hendrix is good but they're just incomparable in terms of beauty, complexity and sophistication.
literature? every old book I read feature same conflicts. they are so similar it's almost boring to read them. meanwhile, Erlend Loe delivers a complex idea without using a conflict (!) and without any character changes. that's insane.
"older is better" is getting old. it's time for you to seek for some other reusable gibberish to insult what other people create.
finally, let me remind you that you, my friend, create nothing.48
When I suddenly realize that I’m already not hungry while I’m eating, I just stop eating no matter if I finished the dish or not.
Have you ever eaten like a pig and then regretted it because you’re full to the point when you can barely breathe? Well, I never felt like that since I decided not to overeat.
Smartest decision I’ve ever made.8
you boubas use todo list apps bloated with spyware to not forget things.
I, the kiki, store my todo list right at the function body.7
Not so long ago an AI Telegram channel was launched. It learned from Russian news and generated new headlines.
Here’s one of the first headlines it generated:
“Islamic physicists will recreate the Big Bang”
For real, channel name is Neural Meduza
Spilling some tea about devrant ui again. The tea is hidden in the comments. DON’T CLICK YOU CAN’T UNSEE THIS9
If you want to never find an IT job higher than an internship, change your bio to “I enjoy learning new things every day!”.
CTO of @ostrovok_ru touched and squished me without my consent back in 2019. I still cry sometimes recalling this experience.
It took a year to tweet this.
//long rant ahead!
I need to plan a Wiki with SharePoint for not connected Sites.
Im now in dispute with my CoWorker since 3 Months, this is how the conversation goes. My two bosses are involved in this and also unhappy about SharePoint.
[C refers to CoWorker, M for me]
C: Hey, we finished SharePoint with Selfservice Storage Rooms. They even have a Wiki.
M: Okay cool, will check it out
C: Well we need to also plan the Wiki inside, I already asked our Department Head and he agreed, that you will be the one.
M: Okkkkaaayy, normaly it's your job to do such things, but welp, I will look into it, if we can work with it.
(2 Weeks pass)
M: I checked SharePoint out and tested everything. The Wiki is a Nogo, we need a other solution or programm for ourself a Wiki Integration/Engine. Did you maybe check out Confluence? It has also a SharePoint integration plugin.
C: We wont do Confluence, too expensive (already overspent the budget for SharePoint in six digits 🤬). Also we wont add to SharePoint Custom Code, it needs to stay standard.
M: Thats impossible, SharePoint Wiki is shit and also handels sites just like documents, no brain behind! Also you overspent the Budget and now it's my Problem?!
C: You need to do the best out of it.
(3 weeks passes and we get a meeting with the department heads)
M: Alright I made a UseCase and documented where the essential flaws are in SharePoint Wiki and why we cant use it.
Boss: Ok if it's impossible to use, then we will stay on our Fileserver for Documents and wont use SharePoint.
M: Thats not my Point, my statement is, as status today, SharePoint Wiki is not the right solution, code or buy software to it.
Boss: We will do a Prove of Concept, if it doesnt work then we will aboard it.
M: Well it is only some missing essentials, like hierarchy and Groups for the Pages, Example Confluence has this. If we could built in this features in SharePoint, everything would work out.
C: (angry) I told you that we wont use Confluence!
M: (calm) I said we need Features, not Confluence. Please mind the consent.
(3 weeks passes, and one more meating with bosses)
M: alright here again is a analyses, why already in Theory the current SharePoint Wiki wont work. It's already flawed in the core.
Boss: Yea SharePoint is crap, I checked out confluence and thats a real Wiki.
C: Well I dont know anything about Confluence and never looked at it. But if SharePoint is a fail we need the Proof of Concept.
M: Why do we need to do a Proof of Concept, when it already doesnt work in Theory! Thats nonsence and unlogical.
Next meeting will be in 4 weeks and I will give him the FUCKING PROOF OF CONCEPT. I will be a Bastard and build behind CoWorkers back a Confluence Wiki to show the Departmentheads how to built it right.
I hate CoWorker now, he makes a part of my loved Job a hell, I will goddamn cuk Coworker to space, that fucking Cukatron of lazyness and shit 🤬. I provide the Solutions and you just say no, how dafuq will the project advance, if you always say NO! Are you so unflexible and fixed on your Castle of Ignorancy!5
Why choose between a dist js file for a script tag and a NPM package when you can make both at the same time?
There are groups of people I’m comfortable with.
And then there are groups of people which my rational mind tells me that there’s nothing wrong with but my gut feeling tells me that it only takes a single push of a button for them all to instantly turn heads towards me, nooses then materialize around my neck and they all pull their ropes simultaneously suffocating me and ropes are too long and I’m too far away from each of them to fight
I feel like there is a telekinesis person holding me in the air and there is other person with a military flamethrower incinerating me while I’m helpless15
Citizens of Belarus, China, Egypt, Hong Kong, Iran, Libya, Macau, North Korea, Russia, Syria, Taiwan, Ukraine, and Vietnam can’t enter British Ascension Island.
Vietnamese citizens can’t ever apply for Green Card.4
So my team started creating an in-house wiki for all information about our products, methods, scrum, documentation etc. From the beginning we had settled on doing everything in English instead of native language just in case we get a foreign student intern or simply a foreign employee... And now it looks to me that nobody but my team leader and I care about it: half of the documents are either fully native (especially from other part of the team who work on a different project, they have probably never gotten the memo of language choice to start with) or the documents are in some weird-ass combination of English-native which is even worse imo.
I really don't understand why my own team doesn't adhere to the decision though: we're all at least reasonably educated and our country focuses heavily on using English as second language so that should be no big barrier. And why would you want inconsistent documents/code?!
And this is not the first time people don't stick to what is decided for things like formats and language... Getting a bit tired of it tbh...5
Manic episodes make me productive while never ending immense guilt make me constantly learn new things because I feel absolutely worthless when I don’t.
I wish all the money I have could fix this but it cannot.3
Both consumerists and anti-consumerists capitalize on your evolutional desire to be better than others.1
I’m proud to announce my collaboration with IZIPIZI France and Carl Zeiss. Enter the Antibouba Glasses!
Any successful public persona knows how important mental hygiene is. Our product is aimed at public personas who are either mentally special or not yet used to haters.
Antibouba glasses work like this:
1. You put them on,
2. You can’t see boubas and anything they broadcast.
Works like a charm with any medium including real life. Also blocks bouba-insinuations of non-bouba people.
Comfortable lightweight frame, highest grade oleophobic coating, also blocks 60% of blue light.
Dm me to make an appointment. Provide your kiki certificate to be included to the shortlist. My telegram is in my bio.15
it’s not “i am stupid” written on your forehead, it’s “i came from this guy’s forehead” written on your stupid comments6
Yester... TODAY at 4am because of another typical 4am episode
I understood everything.
And I mean EVERYTHING. Remember how I declared that I dropped the search for the worldview that suits me? Well, I somehow found it and it’s surprisingly good.
Maybe I’ll share the notion document.
K boubas bye 😘4
Previous Post: https://devrant.com/rants/1557094/...
Holy Lamas! The fucked up SharePoint Saga continues.
Lick my glory Cucumber!
2 Weeks ago, Project Department Boss:
We will put a hold to the SharePoint development. Our Proof of Concept failed, even free opensource Software provides more functions.
Me: Alright, I just told you that from the beginning, but this were two great months wasted. In this time I had more important Stuff to do. But thanks that your four workers are overpayd and do batshit, GREAT.
Meeting last week, Project Dep. Head:
We will continue the SharePoint development. We will migrate all of our Data, even if it has a lot of flaws.
We will use OneNote as Wiki.
Me thinking: That's it, we are doomed!! I will suck my own Cucumber sideways... Please just once care about the People using this Software. Why do you say I am the most crucial guy for this project and then give a fuck about my ideas?!🤬
No they only care for the payslip and the promotions, even if the Software is a Clusterfuck😭.
I wont stand if you start using over 200 OneNote Documents!! This decision will drive us straight Bollocks in to the wall. That would be data Terrorism 2.0 🤬
Honestly I will either start give a fuck and plan out my own tool or give up entirely. But I can't my superior is such a nice person and has the wish for a great tool 😥. She even appointed me to this position, because I'm more tech savy than her.
Next week I will have some talks, this cant go on. Burning Millions of Dollars for years and just presenting shit. I never had dreamed, that I would be involved in such shit 🤦🏻♂️
If I start to dev myself, I will do it private beside my job, write up all my hours and get them payd out as a dev and not as a Supporter (Yea my position is IT-Supporter). That would be 180 $ per Hour.
Then I will show the fuckfaces how it's done. This was also suggested by my superiour, she's really a great person ❤️
When Pavlova danced, she worked with the audience like no one else could.
When Ulanova danced, she completely ignored the audience and transitioned into her own world.
Both are unarguably the best ballet dancers known to humankind.
There is no "right" way to do something if you want to be really good. You can totally invent your own ways of doing things, this is how our science got to where it's at basically.6
My first Telegram stickerpack made in a collaboration with an amazing designer Ruletik!
Victor Pelevin is an iconic Russian writer. I won't describe him here (5000 characters is not enough), I just say I think he's one of the greatest if not THE greatest modern author.
Here's the tea (sorry for my bad translation):
"Some of our illusions feel more real than other illusions. A kid is urinating in perfectly real toilet when he's sleeping, he hears a perfectly real sound confirming this, yet he's still unsure.
A grown up, mature man is different only because he also shit himself.
Grown ups have no doubt about reality, that doubt that helps the kid to get closer to the truth. But grown ups have 'scientific explanations' that toilet is real because there is sound of urine, and the sound of urine is real because toilet is made of ceramic, so because of it we all should be working 24/7.
To help grown ups wake up from this 'reality', death exists."2
Look at him. Chilling there enjoying his drink looking like a progressive genderfluid lesbian. That haircut being ahead of its time by like 15 years, that absolutely breathtaking eyes. Straight up gorgeous, absolute kiki.
That’s me on this photo. On an unrelated note, have you ever masturbated on a picture of yourself?25
Greatest minds of humankind processed all that eternal questions and hard problems of ourselves and the outside world. They all formed the outcomes and conclusions into comprehensive messages.
Are they hidden somewhere? Is this some hidden knowledge that is extremely exclusive? Where is that library and how hard it is to get there? Maybe it is impossible for me?
It’s right there, hidden in plain sight and often overlooked.
It’s called art. That packages are artworks. I just realized that all that time people much smarter than me spent their lives thinking about all that stuff and I can get all their answers right now, for free.
Art is not a steal.
Art is a robbery.17
Having sex with my girlfriend calling honey swimming in money Michael Phelps
Keep my girl coming back round like solar system
I’m so fly I got arachnophobia
Skrrrrrra *drop mic* *finger guns*4
I don’t know about you but I use backticks for every string in js. I want to know that I can always use quotes and apostrophes and backticks ensure this. Also they allow templates and Babel got me covered when it comes to old browsers.
I don’t see the reason why should I use something but backticks in 2020
` — kiki
“, ‘ — boubas18
When an internal wiki document you wrote for your personal reference not intended to be used as a guide, gets used as a guide.
Like I intentionally didn't write it well , with no details or explanations, it's what just happened to work for me, on my environment.
Who knows when and if this'll come back to bite us. Hopefully I don't get blamed.
iOS 14, two thoughts.
1. It manipulates people. They added app gallery and now when you try to delete app it asks you if it should rather hide it into the app gallery, exploiting your hoarder bias so you have more apps and thus more notifications if you haven't disabled them. That's a no from me.
2. It fixed a LOT of bugs and annoyances. I quit next js because of the exact same thing being important to me — they were busy doing only the new features to constantly pitch and lure investors, they never responded to issues and never fixed anything. I'm happy that Apple realizes that it's important to fix bugs.
Overall I'm happy. My iPhone X is pretty old already (87% battery capacity remaining) but it's much faster with iOS 14 than with iOS 13. The main thing is reduced latency pretty much everywhere. Especially the screenshots, I'm barely detecting the click and the screenshot is already done. No perceivable latency if you ask me. New refreshed look is amazing, backside tap actions are cool, new music app is amazing.
People tell me that apple is forcing you to buy new gadgets with updates but explain to me then WHY my old iphone X got much faster with new iOS? That's a contradiction. If I buy a new iPhone it'll be because of dead battery (that's physics and not exclusively Apple issue) or just because I want 120hz and lidar bokeh.13
I’m contemplating switching not to a new Mac, but to a ThinkPad X1 Carbon. I want elementaryos again.7
You’re doing nothing but trying to rationalize your unhealthy viewpoints. You always pick “philosophy” that’s the least critical towards your own worldview.5
That awful distorted American anthem from LOCAL58 sounds in my head and it makes me feel terrified
Children and pets — the smallest patriots
There are no faces1
"the beauty industry uses manipulative language to pander to pseudo-liberated people while still capitalizing on their self-hatred"
Are emacs users really be like polishing their configs for years, for decades even? Emacs users of devrant, do you really end up with an ide that is more efficient than anything else? Is it worth it?2
When you hear “Haskell performance”, what comes to your mind? I was never really interested in Haskell since I had Clojure, and I thought Haskell might be slow.
Haskell with GHC is actually as fast as C or even faster. Haskell runs right on your hardware, no VM or interpreter.
When a program is small, the performance is comparable to C. Sometimes it’s quicker, sometimes not. But when a program is large, Haskell implementation would be faster if you’re not a robot that generates perfect C code.
It’s both very high-order AND very fast. You don’t need math to code in Haskell.
Too bad there are no kewl libraries.12
If transistors switched as fast as your ex left you, we’d become a galactic civilization even without P = NP.2
Dear intellectual crew,
is Ferrero Nestle? Is Ferrero evil? I read about Nestle selling candy business to Ferrero in US, and I understand nothing.6
I always sort by new.
If you have a steady job for a long time already but still sort by price ascending, you’re a bouba. No exceptions.10
Mental disorders can be quite interesting.
I cum in like 10 seconds but my orgasm itself lasts like a solid minute or two, sometimes it’s much longer
You’ll never be on my fucking level12
You need your content block to be at least as high as the viewport but higher if the content requires additional space. You use 100vh, but it works like crap on mobile devices. You need a solution. Well, you come to the right place.
I looked everywhere including epic 9yo SO thread and found all the answers to be garbage.
So I created a solution.
Should we fight RIAA? I think we shouldn't even acknowledge its existence.
Every zoomer knows where to get every type of content they want. Every zoomer knows where to get it for free. This is what I always strive for — to make walking over RIAA our culture, to walk over RIAA without even knowing RIAA exists. Zoomers really pay for digital shit only when they feel like it. If something is "taken down", zoomer still gets it in like thirty seconds, maybe two minutes maximum if the thing wasn't popular. This became the basic internet skill and oh how I like it.
For every problem they make, we invent a solution. We have the fundamental and unbreakable principle of the analog hole (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/...) AND the smartest people on our side, they only have the greediest.
We don't have to take down RIAA and others. We don't have to fight — we already won.11
Yesterday they was a designer or a developer, today they’re an “accessibility expert”.
Those kind of people are the worst, discrediting accessibility by thinking of it as a “I’m always superior because I do the right thing” card while they never really do anything but defending their own arbitrary emotional assumptions by calling it “fighting for human rights”.
If a person doesn't want sex but you still have sex with them that's rape.
If a person doesn't want sex but you spike their drink with ecstasy for them to instantly want sex that's also rape.
If a person doesn't want sex but you build trust and eventually make them among other things want you that's not rape, that's relationship.
One chemical imbalances inside your head makes you a gay person and that's completely okay but some time ago it was a crime. Other chemical imbalances inside your head makes you a pedophile and that's not okay and it IS a crime.
There is emancipation. If a child is emancipated and gave explicit consent is it still pedophilia?
Real life is a conceptual hell.18
Mayakovsky, Malevich, Kandinsky and all that art movement.
Too bad was neither bauhaus nor Aalto. My code would’ve been much cleaner but waaaay less expressive, and expression is what I strive for.
My consuming cycle:
1. An urge to buy a new shiny thing. No peace of mind if I refuse to buy it. My brain starts to generate sentences like "Treat yourself", "Why are you even living if you can't buy what you want", etc.
2. Acquisition. Immense guilt about the money spent. My brain somehow classifies any non-electronic thing that costs more than $30 as "ridiculously expensive", no matter how much money I make, no matter my reserves.
3. A short period of... no, not peace of mind. It's just an absence of that urge. I can't quite call it "peace".
4. goto 1
Hyperconsumerism is hell. I don't want my life to be ridden by guilt. I want to break that cycle, but when I try, it's just me asking that blaming questions to myself.
Somehow I probably got an answer. I should make my everyday thought process and patterns independent of buying stuff. Money shouldn't define what I do and what I think about.
Everything I need with an exception of medicines is both factually cheap and perceived as cheap, and I don't feel guilty about buying medicines.
What should I aim my thought process to? I'm tired of programming, because it provokes an entirely different kind of guilt, the guilt of "you shouldn't be resting, go write that article, go study that new web shit, go build that another open source thing (that nobody cares about)".
Art makes me a bit happier though. I studied 20th century progressive art a bit, and appreciating the ideas behind certain pieces of design, architecture and fine arts make me feel superior than other people, and also superior than my past self. I don't know if it's healthy or not, I'm just being honest now.
I think I need more art in my life. For now, I'm fine with knowing that I'll probably never create a real piece of art (aside from programming), so at least I can consume art instead of buying worthless shit that doesn't make me happy anyway.5
iOS 14 is fucking gorgeous. Lots of new things added, lots of old annoying bugs fixed.
iOS 14 is the greatest thing since iOS 13.13
why I have to be such trouble to please
it wouldn’t be me if it was easy
why I have to be such trouble to please
it wouldn’t be easy if it was me
I hereby declare Apple entered the bouba of the year shortlist.
No 120hz? Seriously? Not even 90? Not even for pro max model?
Series 6 Hermès looks good though. If a new MacBook will also be good, it’ll be good-bad-good so no bouba. But if they fucking forget about 12” again — fucking behold.23
Fellow devs, I'm looking for a CMS which has markdown support and allows authorized entry.
Basically we are working with some clients on some IP. We want to convey what we have worked up via a website. But we want the access to be regulated.
We are currently using wiki to maintain the information.
What are my alternatives?14
In Russia we have the Jewish Autonomous Region, the only official Jewish land besides Israel.
Here's its flag. Yes. This is the official flag of one of the Russian regions.
We also have rainbows on official flags of THREE cities named "The Rainbow City" (Vladimir oblast, Moscow oblast and HMAO) and on the crest of the political party called "Russian Patriots"
You babble about pure functions but your intellectual peak was when you reinvented “the stranger”.2
French wine is for pussies. Real men only drink Californian wine. Californian to French it’s like a syrup to water. Such a big dick energy.
Australian and Hungarian wine is also nice. French is overhyped, the crapple of wine.12
I tried, then I tried again, then I tried again, but harder, and after eight years of constant learning every darn day after school something clicked inside my head and I realized everything.
I never really learned that hard since because I don’t need to.
To put a tiny mechanical switch on the side of my phone that’ll turn of the Do Not Disturb mode. No, not buttons. Standard momentary buttons don’t have a persistent state. I need the state to be persistent even when the phone itself is turned off.
How hard can it be?
Too bad literally every android smartphone since the very first one has that switch, it’s like one of android’s iconic features, and crapple still can’t manage to do this. Clearly they cut on prices, I mean switch is more complicated than a momentary button.10
If the world was a LPL video, I would be the curious adolescent and you would be the gun safe that can be opened with a spoon — you can’t stop me.
In any case, that’s all I have for you today. If you like the video and would like to see more like it, please subscribe, and as always, have a nice day.
I *hate* cmd+z in Atlassian Wikis… it removes text that was written ages ago… and you never get it back… no matter how many times you press cmd+shift+z or cmd+y… 😡
One of my exes was soooo squishy. I mean Michelin mascot level squishy. If you feel it just once you start to strive for that exact thing and you’ll never be the same again.8
My double time is when I spit rhymes twice as fast
Your double time is when you work twice as long to afford jetbrains and simping3
the boy needed dick surgery..... and there was his girlfriend before surgery and she's like "don't worry it'll be alright"..... and then he woke up after anesthesia and everything went fine but there was no girlfriend......... and he asked where is my girlfriend...... and doctor told him "who do you think gave you the dick"....... this is so sad..... liek if u agree...........4
Your eyelashes: yep, decent, almost look like they’re really there, although almost nonexistent without mascara, but you got used to it
Meanwhile my eyelashes:5
In Alpro soy milk range, the original one is often overlooked. There are ridiculously tasty soy vanilla, soy almond and professional coconut. But being THAT sensitive I can always distinguish like yea, here’s the soy and here’s the coconut purée. This always prevented me from focusing on just soy and how complex it really is.
So I tried the original soy milk and yes, the purest form was hidden in plain sight all this time. It’s just soy, pure soy, like a pokimane subreddit meetup. I love it.
It’s a moment of a purist finding a pure thing. This is the IDEA of soy milk, like Prolog is the idea of a declarative language.6
Phoenix Jones lived in Seattle and was active with his female superhero partner. SortOfTested also lives there.
She was a superhero. SortOfTested is also kind of devrant superhero.
They broke up and she vanished from the net. SortOfTested? Or should we call her...