Slow Internet connection and people who don't follow the Headphones Rules

I am the internet...

Found this on the internet

The future of Internet of Things

GF: "The Internet is broken!"
Me: "WHAT?! Sound the horn! Raise the alarm! Call gondor for aid! The Internet is broken! Does the president know?! Save yourself fools!"
*skips away on pretend horse*

Reviewers on the internet in a nutshell

$ wget *

Downloads the Internet.

found this on the internet.

The wonderful modern day internet community (except devRant)

The secret robot internet

One of the best fucking bot on the internet

I love the internet.

How to hide your important files from people without making Hidden folders 

1. Go to Desktop and create a new folder
2. Name the folder Internet Explorer
3. Change the folder icon to Internet Explorer
4. Keep it in a corner of the desktop

Now, no one will open internet explorer :D

//Le me
*Wants to open IntelliJ Idea*

*Searches 'Int'*

*Hits Enter*

Internet Explorer to the rescue

Internet Explorer: Finally, somebody remembered me!

*Internet Explorer opens*

Internet Explorer: *opens a bajillion new windows*

Internet Explorer:
Make me your default browser plz..

Internet Explorer: *freezes*

Me: Shit

Browsing the internet part 2: USB flash drive in disguise🕵

age 11: worry about internet people finding me in real life

now: worry about people in real life finding me on the internet

The internet in our CS lab is quite good I guess..

10 years later...

A decent internet connection, at last!

Let the downloads begin!

Everything is on the internet, just copy and paste from there

I was wondering y the internet was down 🧐

Friend: Bro there's a life outside the internet also
Me: Send me the link

Eureka! The IBM 5150 is on the internet!

Meanwhile internet explorer:

Barack obama sworn in President of the United States

Guess who just got rewarded from the Internet Fuckin Bug Bounty 😎

Gentlemen, I present to you... The Internet

This is so true.. I hope the networking folks know where their manuals are 😂😁

Credits: Codechef

Me trying to fix all the bugs

Credit: Internet

I saw this on the internet.

Found this on the internet

Just found out how they generate infinite scrolling text for movies and TV.
npm install *

1998 talk: Copy the Internet

I was surfing the web on my good old windows 98 pc, a younger friend comes to my place and sees me using IE. Sudently he asks:
Friend: What is that program?
Me: It's Internet Explorer.
Fr: - What is it for?
Me: - Well, you can write something here, (url), to go to different sites, search for stuff you like, participate in foruns, etc...
Fr: - Oh yeah, I know what that is, my cousin also has that in his PC, but I don't.
...(Little pause)...
- Can you copy the internet for me? Because I don't have it.
Me: You can't copy the Internet! You need a phone connection.
Fr - But I'll give you a floppy disk, you put that program there, and then I can use it too.
Me - The shortcut won't give you Internet!

I think I ended up copying the shortcut of IE to him, just to prove my point.
The funny thing is that the link really worked because he also had IE in his machine, while not in the workspace, however it was exactly in the same folder location as mine, but obviously he didn't had a wired phone connection.

Fr - "Maybe I need to copy something more! The program opens but it doesn't show anything."

If you are poor you don't have the right to browse the Internet through https

The internet is down at the clients place, could you make the website visible on cable TV?

Shamelessly stolen meme from the internet

The internet with my inspect element is quite good I guess...

So, I found this on the internet

How to hide your important files from people without making Hidden folders 

1. Go to Desktop and create a new folder
2. Name the folder Internet Explorer
3. Change the folder icon to Internet Explorer
4. Keep it in a corner of the desktop

Now, no one will open internet explorer :D

When i get kids. They are NOT allowed to have online game accounts until the age of 14.

I'll still teach them how the internet works. i'll maybe allow facebook.

kids on the internet and in online games these days are toxic little brats.

The Internet is kind of slow today.
I'll just reboot real quick.

How to hide your important files from people without making Hidden folders?
1. Go to Desktop and create a new folder
2. Name the folder Internet Explorer
3. Change the folder icon to Internet Explorer
4. Keep it in a corner of the desktop
Now, no one will open internet explorer 😂

*opens stackoverflow*
"Oh great! The Internet is down."
*opens new tab and googles the error*

"We need the application working in Internet Explorer, fully responsive :)"

How to hide your important files from people without making Hidden folders

1. Go to Desktop and create anew folder

2. Name the folder Internet Explorer

3. Change the folder icon to Internet Explorer

4. Keep it in a corner of the desktop

Now, no one will open internet explorer :D

Comment your ideas...

The internet needs me

always.

Probably the best funny thing that I saw on Internet today. 😝

Slap other people in the face via internet.

Guys, Guys, Guys!
I've just won employee of the month! And you know what is even better? The elders of the internet allowed to lend the internet to me to use it in my speech! I couldn't be happier (they even know who I am!)

Am I the only one who genuinely hates installers that need internet connection?

Apache Software Foundation.

Because the internet would've been completely different without it.

Client: we love Internet Explorer, can you show me how the best way to use it?

Me:
Step 1: Open Internet Explorer

Step 2: Search & download Chrome.

Step 3: Close Internet Explorer

Step 4: Move Internet explorer to the bin.

Step 5: Never talk about using Internet Explorer again.

Boy, this Monday mornig was crazy...
At 7 am, as I just left my flat, I received an ultra urgent email from the CEO of a company we exchanged the fileserver for, that the network shares are not available.

I instantly turned around, went back to my flat, fired up my HAL9000 supercomputer and connected remotely.
4 levels deep (PC => VPN => Remotedesktop => vSphere Client => VM) I felt like I was in the movie Inception and tried to figure out what happened.

I don't know why, but in the logs it said that the fileserver VM was down since 4am. Holy sithlord... why?

After restarting and the usual problems with Windows Network Names, everything was back online.

My special thanks go to Mr. Coffee, who is always a great companion during monday mornings, Mr. VPN, the great fellow who invented the VPN and last but not least "The Internet" for connecting me to a world of binary, where every idea finds a listener and where Ajit Pai can be memed without concequences.

FUCK YOU Ajit. Harlem Shake is so 2013.

Safari : the new internet explorer! ❤️

Am I the only one here doing this? (especially when the internet is down)

The "Internet of Things"

The internet has become a big echo chamber.

When people have read something on the internet and are suddenly experts on the subject..

Oh the internet is a wonderful place

"Never believe anything that is written on the Internet"
- Mahatma Gandhi, 2006

The things I want to see on Internet.

How to hide your important files from people without making Hidden folders
1. Go to Desktop and create a new folder
2. Name the folder Internet Explorer
3. Change the folder icon to Internet Explorer.
4.Done

function checkBrowser() {
if(browser == "Internet Explorer") {
print("I'm sorry, you have reached the 404 error page. Please use a different browser. Have a nice day.");
}
else {
print("Thank you for not using Internet Explorer");
}
}

Make Internet Explorer the default Web browser.

No internet is pretty much the develeper equivalent of kryptonite.

# did you use internet while writing the codes for the questions?
* Yeah, I just took some help and...
# you can't take help from the internet. It's a rule. Have you not read it? Go through the rules of Toptal again and...

Rest I forgot -_-
TL;DR their rules

Me, explaining to my wife the difference between WiFi and Cellular as I explain why I need put the Pi from that other thread between our modem and router (and take our WiFi down) all so I can finally answer her repeated questions of "Where is all our data going???"

I got transferred to a new city at the client location for few months.
I got the credentials for internet access, but I was not able to get internet. I contacted the admin and after troubleshooting it for few minutes, he asked where is Internet Explorer in this laptop?

I immediately understood, why they need me here. I was using a MacBook. 😐

PS: In the end, he gave me the full access without any credential requirements.

Trick to get answer on the internet...

The very first ad banner on the internet, 1994

SEO is the Scientology of the internet.

the most interesting thing that i saw on the internet today.MIND BLOWN

This really needs a unit test.

Dear makers of the sonic movie.

Fuck off.

-The Internet.

When you need the internet

The solution to fast internet and bug free code!

How trees access the internet? They Log on.

How you can hide your important files from people without making Hidden folders...

1. Go to Desktop and create a new folder
2. Name the folder Internet Explorer
3. Change the folder icon to Internet Explorer
4. Keep it in a corner of the desktop

Now, no one will open internet explorer

‎Welcome to the secret robot internet

"Where is the internet located?"

When you at work and the internet is down ☻.

found this on the internet, thought I would drop it here, ahah

So my Internet was down the entire day
*opens laptop
*realizes no internet
*closes laptop
*repeats this the entire day

After a point it becomes involuntary. My hand just automatically goes to the laptop

Internet stopped working yesterday and the ISP company told me they couldn't send a person for a week!

I'm stuck at home, I have to have internet.

Long story short, I got no sleep last night and I may have voided my routers warranty, but I got internet.

Your old uncle : I bought an internet but Google isn't working.
You search the house and there isn't even a smell of internet connection, not even subscription line...

finally i learn more in class than the internet today

China tried to censor the internet and they failed.
EU approves article 11 & 13 and everything is now blockee in EU.

China should learn from EU parliament on how to censor the internet without the need of any firewall

I unpinned the Internet Explorer icon from the taskbar of my girlfriend's computer and told her the Internet Explorer is crap. Then she answered: "Hey, I usually use Firefox. I use Internet Explorer only when I have to open attachments from emails.". I was like: WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!?

Politician: "The internet is a series of tubes"
SysAd: "The internet is a series of '|'s"

Son of a fucking bitch I forgot to pay the fucking internet bill and now my connection is down until the fucking payment processes.

Fucking shit I can't do a damn thing without internet bruh.

EU should have their own private internet and ban the entire internet.

the slow internet explorer...

Internet went down at the office, was 10pm so probably time to stop working anyways.

Get home, Internet is down. Text friend, their Internet is down.

The isp for this entire area is offline.

The dinosaur I'm afraid of.
No fucking internet

You can't do that on the internet

The biggest LIE on the internet: "I've read and accept the terms of service."

IE is dead ?!

NOT SO FAST.

The whole singin in Visual 2022 uses... Internet explorer renderer and... doesn't work on a Windows Server 2022 because of... "Enchanced internet explorer security policy".

I'm dying inside.

The only thing I really miss about windows is the Ask.com toolbar for internet explorer 🙄

Found this on the internet. credits to the artist

Made this based on one i found on the internet the other day

Wtf bs is this? Can't governments just stop trying to control the internet?

It's literally the closest thing we have to a free and fair society on the planet and that's with all the tracking and abuse of information going on. I think we need to start applying our minds to creating a decentralised network with p2p discovery routed through our phones if we want to keep any semblance of freedom of speech or privacy around for our kids. Routing traffic wouldnt use more than 50-100mb of ram and would probably use a lot less battery than Google does listening to our conversations or transmiting our location data so we wouldn't even notice. If only we could find a cable free decentalized way to get data across the ocean no one would be able to control it again, I doubt we would be able to shut it down either.

I present you: the internet connection in a german village!

Our internet was broken for the last couple of days.
I had almost forgotten how it was to spend time with the family...

I am so glad our internet is working again...

npm i

Now waiting for the Internet to download....

Here, you are able to see a Windows installation in its natural habitat. This particular specimen is confused whether an internet connection exists or not.

(The internet was working fine on that machine btw)

When you're a web developer and the building's internet is down.

This guy measures the internet.
Measuring the internet sounds fun.

Putting radio on the Internet.

i browse the internet a lot so linux

The entire fucking internet is an unusable pile of shit. Why is it that every time I click on LITERALLY ANY link on google and I start reading, 2 seconds later the text shifts to an other location because the fucking font loads, 3 seconds later it fucking moves again because a god damn ad just loaded above it, and after all the loading bullshit is done it shoves a fucking cookie banner (that usually covers half the page) and a fucking newsletter popup in my face. This makes it literally impossible to quickly read someting on a website without interruption. It's fucking 2020 and we bout to put a fucking man on mars, yet the technology still isn't advanced enough to make the internet less fucking annoying.

"Why the website doesn't work without an internet connection?"

Stupidest client ever!!!

When your internet at home is literally 20x faster than the one at the office.

Who wants to destroy the internet with a piece of electrical tape?

Friends pitch: so it's like a podcast but livestreamed on the internet.
Me: So Internet radio?

Fuck my internet banking.
My bank just created a "new" version of internet banking which literally looks the same except it freezes my browser all the time. WTF??!!

Am I the only one who couldn't care less how my website looks on Internet Explorer? If you visit my website, you'd better damn well not be using Internet Explorer.

Some helicopter just hit the powerlines, no power, internet, mobile @home....

I remember the days when the work internet was faster than your home internet.

Rejoice! The internet isn't dying after all!

What I do everytime I accidentally click the Internet Explorer icon...

Hello [Your Name], it's me [Name] from the internet. Nice to neet ya'all

When you ask people on the internet what IDE they use for coding

My internet is offline. I can already feel the withdrawal symptoms. 😕

kill the person who suggested Microsoft to develop Internet Explorer.

So...the internet is a beautiful place..

BREAK THE INTERNET!

Please stop putting critical infrastructure to the internet. Security on the internet is a joke, and we won't be laughing the time when someone dies from a cyber attack on another pipeline/dam/weapons factory.

Today I got called by a someone saying something about my internet but I couldn't actually hear him against the background noise...

I think he mentioned something about having downloaded my internet onto their servers...?

the internet programer ....!!!

If only we could only download the entire internet and cache it in a disk at home

THEN I WOULDN'T HAVE TO FUCKING RECONNECT TO READ SIMPLE DOCUMENTATION EVERY FUCKING TIME MY INTERNET DROPS

I'M NOT DOWNLOADING A MILLION DEPENDENCIES I'M JUST READING STACKOVERFLOW, FIX THE INTERNET FUCK

I pray to the Elders of the Internet every night, before I go to sleep.

*pointing on IE icon* but does it work on the internet?

Setting my lovely grandma's new router since she now got fiber. Opening Firefox and pages load fast, still had to show that is also worked on "internet" to make her happy

Has anyone else thought, when the internet is down, that theoretically, the entire world's internet could be down, and you would never even know?

Family moves abroad.
Has trouble with internet. They called the internet company who sent a repair guy to their house.

Since they couldn't understand what the repair guy said, they have me on FaceTime to talk to the repair guy.

A friend of mine had made a virus that changed and renamed all of my icons to Internet Explorer. The worst part, the icons would have a 50/50 chance of being Internet Explorer or the actual application that I needed

>Free Cloud Services

> You need to pay at least 1$ for internet

Yeah, if you have a fuckton of donation money, at least give us the fucking internet connection for free you yellowcircle twats

So I have 1mb/s internet that cuts out every ~5 min - i had to wait for internet connection to load the speed test.

I am just outside London - internet speed should not be bad, i am not exactly in the middle of nowhere

"curl : The response content cannot be parsed because the Internet Explorer engine is not available, or Internet Explorer's first-launch configuration is not complete. Specify the UseBasicParsing parameter and try again."

Why the flying fuck do i have to configure some BS in internet explorer to use curl in Powershell? I thought IE was finaly dying, but nope!

Who else wants the technology of being able to punch someone over the internet?

3 months ago our company moved 10km away from where I live. So instead of 10 minutes to work, I now have 50 minutes. Great!

The moving was so rushed, they forgot to order a fucking internet connection.. So they panicked and bought 4x 4g modems and a 50 Mbit connection. This connection was then shared by the whole office of 50 people. The connection could barely handle our needs, and for 3 months all streaming or unnecessary use of the internet have been prohibited..

But today! It finally happened!
We got our fiber connection!
No more streaming from my phone!

Bye bye productivity!
Spotify and YouTube here I come!

Safari has become the new Internet Exploder.

Change my mind.

Superpower?
Be able to physicaly travel through THE internet

Don’t worry, I’ll comeback...
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When i need to download chrome after fresh install

P.S. not mine, i stole it from the internet using chrome

Well, time to fork the internet, PR's welcome!

Why does this even exist??😢
Translation:
Knowing the road on the Internet with Internet Explorer 9.

well played Microsoft for redirecting me to a website while I don't have internet.

Why can't I connect to the internet?

The client just complained that the website looks problematic on Internet Explorer 9. FUCK YOU!!! FUCK INTERNET EXPLORER! FUCK ALL OF THIS!!!

The faster my internet connection the better I code!!.....

😑😑😤

Plain and simple - Internet Explorer and the dickheads that still use it.

Let's rewrite the internet in Rust!

The client asked me today to include Internet Explorer to the compatibility list. After 5 minutes of continuous refreshing, Internet Explorer finally shows me in developer tools that it does not support Promises and Object.assign().

At that moment, my Promise to the client also failed.

Me: What browser do you use?
Them: I use the Internet explorer on the iPhone.

When your crawler starts to find very weird pages on the internet...

Internet explorer, the plague of internet browsers...

Map of the Internet according to xkdc.

Me: <45min explaining my job>

Grandma: "So you're working the Internet?"

It's official: Switzerland is starting to censor the internet, halle-fucking-luja -_-

Safari is the new Internet Explorer, except people are using it 🤦‍♂️

Priscilla Chomba in her TEDx talk "A free and fair internet benefits" said the following:

"We need to actively and collectively ensure that going forward, everyone has access to a free, fair and feminist internet."

How do you make the internet feminist? Call it La Interneta?

Developing tools for upgrading "the internet" to ipv6

Reddit is the worst place on the internet

The internet becomes pay per download and the entire world decides “Na” making my job obsolete

Copy and pasting from internet.

Without fully understanding the code.

User: "The blue internet icon?" ... And you know its IE9 ... /rage ;)

As if it‘s not shit enough that I have internet with the speed 1.2 Mbits, now something broke with the connection and the internet disconnects like 5 times per minute the whole day.
And now I need to wait for some technician to come and check (and hopefully fix) what‘s wrong. And I hope it won‘t take him days to do that. I need the internet now! 😣

Lebanon's internet prices. Most expensive you'll ever see! The red are in USD

I fucking hate when someone says something broke the internet! Is it fucking down? Can I fucking play my games? Read my fucking email?

If so, the pictures of Kim's ass, or Nicki's assumed sex tape didn't break the fucking internet!

I learned about this supposed breakage after the fact, from news outlets talking about how is broke!

How to tell your babe not to use ie:

Me: Babe could you please stop using the internet explorer?

Babe: why?

Me: It will destroy your internet.

You wouldn’t think that finding a home that actually had internet service would be the hardest part of house shopping in 2018...

Satellite internet does not count as internet. Also my statements apply to the US market only. Idk how bad this is in other countries.

this thing is now all over the internet..

Sometimes, people you work for are just dump.
Someone ask me this:

"Can you help me find the 'e from the internet'?"

And by "e from the internet", she means internet explorer...

The problem was, she right click it and unpinned it from the taskbar...

Ps: it's the same person who maked me do my first Rant.

A friend of mine asked me yesterday for help for his bachelor thesis.

He wants to write about MySQL internals in regards to BLOB storage / usage.

We had a veeeerrrry long discussion....

And found a loooot of scary internet pages.

It's so .... Insane....

What some people with doctor titles or higher education generate...

Isn't content. More poo...

Most "blogs" / "articles" or whatever the author named it were missing all kinds of relevant data (version, configuration, anything relevant) but full of opinionated / biased bullshit.

Highlights were:
- we store lot of BLOB data, Backups take long and require more space
(you store additional data in an database, whaddya expect???!!!!)

- interesting guesswork about locking without any reference (interesting since it was sometimes so far away from reality that it looked more like quantum physics)

- storing blobs means that _each_ blob entry will be stored in a separate file (without any reference, but if an RDBMs did that... It would end in an amazing fireball I guess)

- BLOB's bad since it can represent only the file content, the database cannot distinguish wether it's an MP3 / MPG or anything like that...

(Ehm. Yeah. And an database cannot distinguish if you store under "Name" an Name or gibberish?!)

I somehow think that some people made an doctor and post this gibberish nonsense so people stay dumb to give them a job...

Like the TV repair men who steals the batteries from the remote.

Even conspiracy theories were more convincing

The internet is down

First modem : can't connect to the internet
Second modem : can't activate the wifi
Third modem : can't connect to the internet

Please kill me

Sololearn and some random tutorials on the internet about Java and C#

Can you imagine 24h without internet everywhere in the world ?

The internet! Seriously... 80% of my knowledge I have from the internet and learning by myself. Our dev teacher was awful...

I don't know what I would do if the person who owns the internet decides to turn off the internet forever. I would probably go insane trying to figure out what happened to the internet as I have no way to read about why he did it.

Nepal's internet is the worst internet in the world

People who write open letters on medium or anywhere on the internet. Bitch this is the internet everything is an open letter

When they send you home because there's no Internet in the office.

Bought a new Samsung s7 from the Internet....

....Aaaand it's rooted.

The Internet

Install windows
Open internet explorer
Download google chrome
Remove internet explorer from existence

- this is the kind of hate ie gets

That moment when something works in Internet Explorer/Microsoft Edge but doesn't work in Chrome or Firefox...

On the left is Chrome, on the right is Internet Explorer.

The joy of watching an anime girl play doom live

Thank you internet

1. Go to Desktop and create a new folder
2. Name the folder Internet Explorer
3. Change the folder icon to Internet Explorer
4. Keep it in a corner of the desktop

Now, no one will open internet explorer 

Let's say *poof* Google is banned from the internet and it's 10years later how would the internet look would it be existing services or do you think new ones would arrive.

Anybody else hate the phrase ‘breaking the internet’ when something goes viral?

does anybody else think the internet is alive? and we are the bees building the hive?

Interested to know if anyone has ever clicked on an advert (on purpose) to buy some shit from the internet? And if so what was it? To me adverts on the internet are like flies hovering around your food, especially news sites.

I've really had enough internet for today. Maybe even for the whole week.