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Search - "uhh"
-
So the person from my previous rant actually tried to make AI in HTML.
Person: I made that AI in HTML today!
Me: Oh really?
Person: Yup. *Opens HTML site*
It was a site that
1) Used JavaScript
2) Was a prompt(), and after answering it alerts "Yes" or "No" randomly.
Me: That's not AI
Person: Uhh yeah it is. It uses a neural network to answer!
Me: Actually, a neural network is a dot product of an input and vectors that are refined using partial derivatives.
Person: Yeah! That's what Math.random() and alert() do!
I left that room as quickly as I could (yet again).30 -
Yesterday, in a meeting with project stakeholders and a dev was demoing his software when an un-handled exception occurred, causing the app to crash.
Dev: “Oh..that’s weird. Doesn’t do that on my machine. Better look at the log”
- Dev looks at the log and sees the exception was a divide by zero error.
Dev: “Ohhh…yea…the average price calculation, it’s a bug in the database.”
<I burst out laughing>
Me: “That’s funny.”
<Dev manager was not laughing>
DevMgr: “What’s funny about bugs in the database?”
Me: “Divide by zero exceptions are not an indication of a data error, it’s a bug in the code.”
Dev: “Uhh…how so? The price factor is zero, which comes from a table, so that’s a bug in the database”
Me: “Jim, will you have sales with a price factor of zero?”
StakeholderJim: “Yea, for add-on items that we’re not putting on sale. Hats, gloves, things like that.”
Dev: “Steve, did anyone tell you the factor could be zero?”
DBA-Steve: “Uh...no…just that the value couldn’t be null. You guys can put whatever you want.”
DevMgr: “So, how will you fix this bug?”
DBA-Steve: “Bug? …oh…um…I guess I could default the value to 1.”
Dev: “What if the user types in a zero? Can you switch it to a 1?”
Me: “Or you check the factor value before you try to divide. That will fix the exception and Steve won’t have to do anything.”
<awkward couple of seconds of silence>
DevMgr: “Lets wrap this up. Steve, go ahead and make the necessary database changes to make sure the factor is never zero.”
StakeholderJim: “That doesn’t sound right. Add-on items should never have a factor. A value of 1 could screw up the average.”
Dev: “Don’t worry, we’ll know the difference.”
<everyone seems happy and leaves the meeting>
I completely lost any sort of brain power to say anything after Dev said that. All the little voices kept saying were ‘WTF? WTF just happened? No really…W T F just happened!?’ over and over. I still have no idea on how to articulate to anyone with any sort of sense about what happened. Thanks DevRant for letting me rant.15 -
Holy fucking shit. I just went to my first Java class at uni (3 1/2 hour long one at that) and I havent felt so damn irritated in a while.
Some background:
So first, I only had about an hour of sleep last night and a full day of work before this class so I was more cranky than normal.
Theres only 7 students in the class, 6 others plus me. I am the only one with any resemblence of programming experience. The teacher also claims to be a linux developer.
This is a three part course series. Java 1, 2, and 3. All taught by the same teacher.
The fuckery:
-teacher spends 48 minutes talking about text editors. Not even IDEs. Just talking in depth as fuck about notepad (notepad. Not notepad++ )and atom and textpad. Those three only though, nothing on vim or emacs or ACTUAL IDEs. 48 minutes.
- I briefly mentioned learning node.js on the side and am now the "javascript girl" to my teacher. I'm probably less experienced with js than any other thing i ever practised or studied.
-professor saw linux on laptop and asked what distro. When I said arch he said "oh no you shouldnt be using that Its not really for beginners" ... Uhh what makes you think I'm a beginner to linux? Or does he not think I should be using arch while learning java? Either way its really ridiculous and irritates me that he would discourage anyone from using any software/OS/anything, regardless of what it is or skill level.
-teacher moved a bunch of content out of the course because theyre either "concepts that are never implemented anymore" or "arent critical to know to master the language". These particular topics that were removed? Multi-dimensional arrays, scopes, and exception handling. EXCEPTION HANDLING.
-he writes a hello world program and displays it on the board, proof of it working and everything. He tells the class to write the same program, compile and run it. Never did I guess we would spend the remaining hour and ten minutes of class struggling with fucking hello world programs. Especially when the correct code is on the fucking projector.
And I get it guys, everyone starts somewhere. People have to learn from square one. But these kids have no fucking interest in this. One of them literally admitted to pursuing this degree for the "lavish life" that comes with the salary. Others just picked programming because they didnt know what else to choose to get into the school. It fucking saddens me. I hope that one or some of them end up caring and finding a passion in this field, otherwise I feel fucking sorry for them having to spaghetti code their way through life to get a paycheck cause they couldnt be bothered to put in the effort. I feel even more sorry for any devs they work with in the future too.
The other annoying bit is that I can't test out of this class!! so it looks like for either 7 hours a week ill be bored out of my fucking mind with these beginner concepts or ill be helping others fix really stupid shit in their code (like putting quotes around hello world so it would actually print the string).
Fucking hell. Waste of a semester class.44 -
I once brought my Kali Linux laptop to school. (Because normal had dead battery, waiting for shipping)
MFW someone from the IT department is called in to fix teachers projector and he sees I still have the default dragon wallpaper on it.
MFW when recognises it it's Kali.
MFW he calls the police and my laptop gets taken away because 'its dangerous' and I get questioned in school.
The police came back a week later to check my laptop again. 'uhh we gotta check the logs'.
IF I WANTED IT TO BE DANGEROUS YOU'D BE FIXING A LOT MORE THAN JUST THE FUCKING PROJECTOR!
Also, wuddup devrant!11 -
WHY THE FUCKIDY FUCK DO PEOPLE THINK THAT JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE A DEVELOPER THEN YOU CAN DO EVERY FUCKING THING IN A SNAP?!
THIS ENTIRE SUMMER I WORKED FOR THIS MIDGET OF A FUCK AND THE IDEA WAS TO MAINLY DEVELOP AN IOS APP FOR THEIR PRODUCT. THAT ONE APP TRANSLATED TO THREE SEPARATE APPS AND KEEP IN MIND THAT I AM THE ONLY DEVELOPER THEY HAVE SO I HAVE TO DEVELOP IT, TEST IT AND DOCUMENT IT!! AND WHAT'S EVEN WORSE IS HE KEEPS GIVING ME DESIGNS AT THE LAST MINUTE SO I ALWAYS END UP HAVING TO CREATE NEW PROJECTS ALL THE TIME. WHEN A WEEK PASSES BY WITHOUT ANY UPDATE HE AND HIS FUCKED UP BRAIN CELLS GATHER A MEETING WITH HIS 'DONALD TRUMP HANDS-SIZED' BALLS TO ASK ME, 'WHY ARE YOU TAKING SO LONG? THESE ARE JUST THREE BUTTONS ON THIS VIEW?' MOTHERFUCKING COCKSUCKER!! GO GET YOUR MOM TO DO THIS WORK THEN IF IT'S JUST THREE BUTTONS. TO HIM EVERYTHING IN IOS WHICH INCORPORATES A TAP IS A FUCKING BUTTON! BUTTON THIS! BUTTON THAT! AND IT'S NOT LIKE HE HAS SIMPLE DESIGNS..NO.NO.NO.NO. THIS ASSHOLE-SHAPED-HEAD MUGGET DESIGNS SHIT WHICH REQUIRES ME TO HAVE TO DRAW A UIVIEW AS THE SHAPE OF A HUMAN BODY AND HEART. THEN ASIDE FROM THAT, JUST BECAUSE MY RESUME SAYS I MINORED IN MATH AND APPLIED MATH, HE SENDS ME A PAPER THAT EXPLAINS MATHEMATICAL CONCEPTS OF DATA ANALYSIS THEN WANTS TO MEET WITH ME TO DISCUSS THE SUGGESTED METHODS THEN IMPLEMENT THEM. AT THIS POINT I HAD ALREADY IMPLEMENTED AN ALGO FOR COUNTING THE NUMBER OF STEPS THAT WAS WAY WAY WAY MORE ACCURATE THAN THE SHIT THEY HAD IN THEIR CONTROLLER..
SO AS I AM ABOUT TO FINISH IMPLEMENTING JUST THE INITIAL 5 VIEWS OF THIS 'FINAL' APP, HE SERIOUSLY WALKS IN AND TELLS ME, SO I'M STARTING TO WORRY THAT WE'LL NOT MEET THE AUGUST DEADLINE SO I'M THINKING MAYBE YOU SHOULD START SWITCHING BETWEEN DEVELOPMENT. WORK ON IOS FOR 4 HOURS THEN SWITCH TO ANDROID FOR THE REMAINDER OF THE TIME. OH AND UHH IF YOU FEEL LIKE TAKING THE IMAC WITH YOU TO WORK FROM HOME, THAT'S FINE AS WELL AND I'LL BE AVAILABLE IN THE WEEKENDS AS WELL. IT WAS AT THIS MOMENT THAT I REALLY REALLY HOPED I WERE GAY! LIKE 'NO LUBE' STYLE KINDA GAY!! OH BTW AT SOME POINT HE HAD ME PROGRAM ONE OF THEIR CONTROLLERS, AND WAS ASKING IF I COULD START RESEARCHING MEANS OF WRITING AN SDK FOR THEM.
KEEP IN MIND THAT I'M AN INTERN WITH ONE YEAR IOS DEV EXPERIENCE.. THEN HE WANTS ME TO ENTIRELY START LEARNING ANDROID AND GIVE HIM TWO VERSIONS OF THIS THIRD APP IN TWO WEEKS.
HE CAN GO SUCK HIS OWN DICK WHILE GETTING FINGER FUCKED BY A FORK WITH A BLUE WHALE'S 6FT LONG DICK UP HIS MOUTH.
*** that felt good ****36 -
(sensitive parts censored)
Friend: Hey, can you hack my (some website) account?
Me: Depends... What's your username?
Friend: (tells username)
Me: (clicks forgot password?)
Friend: I will give $10 if you do it. There is 2 factor authentication enabled.
Me: (silence) Ok.
Website: Please type the class number you were in in 4th grade.
Me: Hey, did you graduated BLAH elementary school?
Friend: Yeah.
Me: Ahh, I remember. You moved to BLAH elementary school in what grade?
Friend: 4
Me: Hmmm, I don't remember seeing you. What class were you in?
Friend: 5
Me: Well, I now remember. Stupid me. (smirks)
Friend: Haha. (continues to play games beside me)
Me: (Types in 8)
Website: We sent you a password to blah@example.com
Me: (uhh, heads to example.com and clicks forget password?)
Email: Please type the class number you were in in 4th grade.
Me: (wtf is this, types 8)
Email: Please type the teacher's name when you were in in 4th grade.
Me: What was the teacher's name?
Friend: Huh?
Me: When you were in 4th grade.
Friend: Ahh! John Smith.
Me: Ahh, he was strict, right?
Friend: Yeah (continues to play games again)
Me: (Types in John Smith)
Email: Set a new password.
Me: (Types "youaresostupid")
Email: Done!
Me: (copies PLAIN TEXT password from email, logs in to website)
Me: Da-da!
Friend: (gasps)
Me: Money plz~
Friend: Nope.
Me: (wtf, then remembers i changed his email password) Fine then.
=====================
1. There is 2 factor authentication enabled. : Got it?
2. The website sent plaintext password.
3. He is just pure idiot.
4. I didn't got the money.
5. I am now a h4x0r11 -
Got a great boss!!;
Me: Hey, do we have a corporate GitHub account?
Boss: *excitedly* do we need it? We'll get it!
Me: uhh, yeah, we need it 😉
Don't care he doesn't know what it is, got his trust to get all the right tools!11 -
Client: Why did you use Vanilla JavaScript? Even my child doesn't eat vanilla.
Me: Uhh..., you realise we are not talking about ice-cream right?
Right?
RIGHT?8 -
Me: Hey Dave, wanna hear a TCP joke?
Dave: Uhh, sure...
Me: OK I'll tell you a TCP joke..
Dave: Please don't.
Me: Are you ready to receive my TCP joke?
Dave:...
Me: OK I'm sending my TCP joke. It'll be 4 words long and 27 bits large.
Dave:... Screw this, I'm going home now.6 -
I have this old lady that I help from time to time with her computer issues.
She is nice, so I feel compelled to help her.
Get a call one day.
Lady : "hello, my internet and email isn't working, I've tried everything, could you maybe help me?"
Me : "Sure, ill come over after work and check it out"
*arrive at her house*
Lady : "you see, none of the web pages load, and my email refuses to sync. Should I call (insert isp name), or can you fix it?"
Me : I'm sure I can get it, gimme a sec.
*find the issue in a sec or two, dunno how to tell her about it, she isn't totally stupid*
Me : "Uhh, I don't know if you checked, but the ether.. internet cable isn't plugged in"
Lady : *realizes the wtf moment I'm having, obviously feeling very stupid*
Me : "Don't worry, happens to the best of us"
Obviously I lied a little, most of us would probably check the damn cable. Sometimes is just better to make people not feel like its their fault. People learn better when they don't feel like something is making a fool of them.
I have helped this lady with so many things that are just straight out of this world.
The one time she tried emailing 37mb tiff files over her 315kbps network.
Another time she said her email was not syncing, so I went to her house and clicked the "sync" button.
She even once phoned me to get their wifi password.
I just like helping her, somehow it makes me feel as if we all have something to learn.6 -
PM in daily: your turn. what have you done yesterday?
me: so i finished my PR for feature x and now i'm only waiting for review feedback there, so i can close this ticket today if no major rework is required-
PM: this is not what i asked, i don't want to know what you did, i want to know what was done.
me: uhh... okay, also i started working on task x
[note: task x, a task per definition involving a large amount of research, was very coarsly defined and it wasn't even clear to the PM what he exactly expects from me, and we agreed that the scope needs to be refined in the process],
so as a first step, i started doing some general investigations to get an overview of the topic and learn about concepts a and b-
PM: again, i don't want to know what you did, i want to know what was done.
me: okay well, i have DONE basic research on topic xy and collected information-
PM: this still does not answer my question, what's the deliverable?
me: ...so uhhh.... i read papers? i researched info online and collected and prepared information and links in a presentation which i'm also planning to present to the team-
PM: okay, can you please split your jira task in subtasks so everyone knows exactly what you're working on? otherwise we have no idea what you're doing.
for fuck's sake, shut up. just shut up22 -
Happened with a friend of mine
*Before interview*
My advice: Try to ask about the company, the recruiter, the job. Look curious.
*Interview about to finish*
I: So do you have any questions?
F: Uhh, yeah, sure. Where do you work?2 -
Working in the IT Department is just funny man. Sometimes I wonder if I'm dumb, too smart to answer these dumb questions or these clients are just asking questions they already have answers to that I don't.
Client: Hey, can you please give X access to Y's Dropbox? He gets error saying he doesn't have access to the file.
Me: Uhh, you have to share a link to the specific file you want to share with X. Then only he can access it.
Client: Can you send him the link?
Me: Uhhhh, what link?
Client: The link to the file.
Me: Who created the file you want to share?
Client: My boss did. And he wants me to send the link to X. But I don't have the link so he said to check with IT.
Me (in my mind): WTF!!!!
Me: Ok, ask your boss to share the link to the file he created with you then you can send it to Y. He can also send it to Y directly himself. IT doesn't have and has no idea of what file your boss created. Only your boss knows.
Client: Ok, hold on let me check with him..
Client gets back on the phone.. "he said he deleted the file".
Me: Well, there's no file to share here.
Client: Can you find it?
Me: Call Dropbox.
Client: do you have his number?
Me: Who?
Client: Dropbox..
At this point I started laughing.. 😂😂😂🤣🤣
Me: Dropbox is a company.
Client: Ok, thank you. I'll call Dropbox.
At this point, I'm wondering. If this client thought Dropbox was person, then what did she mean by her initial question? 🤔
Can this be real life? This happened less than an hour ago, and going home now still confused about this whole situation. 😂😂5 -
Ok, so I don't work yet and so I've never had to deal with any clients but based on the rants i have read this is how stupid I imagine most of them are.
Dev: Hey, would you like a chocolate bar?
Client: Yeah, sure.
Dev: here:
*hands chocolate bar over*
*client holds it in his hands, opens it and eats it*
Client: Tastes great
Dev: Ok, nice. So about the payment of the project...
*Clients face is swollen and he falls to the ground*
Dev: uhh, what are you doing?
Client *coughing*: Were.. were there nuts in the chocolate bar?
Dev: uhmm, yes. didn't you look at it?
Client: why didn't you tell me??!?!?!? I am allergic to nuts!!
Dev: uhh, I didn't know that. But srsly, did you not look at the wrapping of the fucking chocolate bar??!
Client: I am going to sue you!! You will go to prison!
Dev: Fuck off *leaves the room*
Image of the chocolate bar:5 -
Client: I will send the design you just make it.
Me: uhh,..are you sure you can do it?
Client: ofcourse i can
*2 days later, sends this*6 -
Google Duplex: "Hi! Uhm.. I'd like to make a dinner reservation for 3."
Restaurant: "Sure! What time would you like?"
Google Duplex: "It's, uhh.. for tomorrow May the 11th at NULL POINTER EXCEPTION."
Restaurant: "Internal Exception: Invalid parameter not satisfying: time"
Btw, hi devRant, this is my first post!!4 -
During my first-ever technical interview, the interviewer asked me "Do you know the FizzBuzz problem?"
"Uhh, not really." (I was just thinking ok this problem has a name, must be some algorithm problem)
"So the problem is basically to give you the numbers 1 to 100, if the number is divisible by 3, print 'Fizz', if divisible by 5, print 'Buzz', if divisible by 3 and 5, print 'FizzBuzz'. For other numbers just print out the number itself."
After hearing the problem, I felt so many ideas popping out of my stressed brain.
I thought for a bit and said "ok, so if the digit sum of a number is a multiple of 3, then the number is divisible by 3, and if the last digit is either 0 or 5, it's divisible by 5."
Then I started to code out my solution until the interviewer said "there's an easier solution. Can you think of it?"
This stressed me out even more.
I thought for a bit and said "well, starting from 3, keep a counter that records how many iterations are done after 3. When the counter hits 3, that number would be divisible by 3 for sure. Should I try this solution?"
The interviewer said "Sure." So I started again.
However, I struggled for about another 3min until I realized this solution is a lot harder to implement. The interviewer probably saw my struggle too.
This was the point where he stepped in and asked me "Ummmm there's an easy way of solving this. Have you heard of the MODULO OPERATOR?"
In sheer embarrassment, I finished the code in 30s.
Of course, there was no further question after this, and I felt the need to seriously reevaluate my intelligence afterwards.15 -
Me: I'm going to be one of the grand finalists in the google code in challenge no matter what! I will complete as many challenges as I can per day.
Also Me: *forgets it existed after a week*
Me now: *just got reminded of it* Uhh, there's too many challenges and they are too much work... I'll try again next year.18 -
uhh interesting, bing search engine algorithm open sourced.
Will anybody have a look at it?
https://techcrunch.com/2019/05/...6 -
PM: Can we have it so the usernames are case-sensitive?
Me: uhh, sure I guess.. But thats like really pointless and adds no real usefulness.. In fact makes the whole logging in thing a tad more complicated for no reason..
PM: Well this one other product we have uses "Admin" for the login versus yours that used "admin" so it needs to be implemented.
(note that mine accepted "Admin" anyways...) *implemented it*
PM: So there's a problem with the username sort, it sorts by capitals then lowercase.. eg:
alpha
beta
Alpha
Me: Yeah, you asked for case-sensitive usernames..
PM: Well can you fix it?
Me: I could create a second field within the user data that is the username in all lowercase and sort by that. But that negates like all of the whole case-sensitive usernames thing.. OR I could drop all this actually important work I'm doing and do a whole bunch of work on a custom sort for this useless fucking feature you wanted me to put in..
*it's been 2 weeks and still no reply...* -
uhh, what the hell... I opened 3 screenshots, not massive raw files. I wonder if they made the photos app based on electron as well huh3
-
Oh, shit, someone wanted dev help or contributors after programming for decades. Shit. That is trolling. THANK YOU N()()B
(@wojtek322) >He he gooosh im sooo nu here
>Is this talk about CODING on DEVRant what you do?
(@wojtek322) >TEHEEHE!
>Maybe I'm a girl you could dig the fuck out
>Maybe not
>But I'll act like one
(@wojtek322) >TEEEHEE HEEE
>So uhhhmmm this talk of C programing language and actual concrete issues
>That's like, uhh, trolling rite?
>Not what you guys are about
-OFCOURSE NOT MAM!, OR TRAN!
-WE ARE NOT ABOUT THAT
(@wojtek322) >Teheheee ok gr8 thx!1 -
Interviewee was googling the answers to the technical questions on a Skype interview. Their CV said they had 2 years experience.
Us: "How does X work?"
Them: "Uhh...what's X?"
[clack clack clack of interviewees keyboard]
Them: "Oh.....X! [reads verbatim from the tutorial]"
We had some fun asking ridiculous questions for a while, seeing how big a hole they could dig for themselves. Once we got bored of making fun of them we ended the interview early. Much less awkward on Skype than IRL.7 -
Company: Govt says you should stay home to prevent spreading the disease. PLZ WFH.
People start to WFH.
VPN gets overwhelmed.
Me: Cannot connect to VPN.
Boss: Then go in the office!!!
Me: Uhh...3 -
Was making a text based console game last year. Had to know natural human responses. Got too tired of it and make it print "Uhh, I've never had a lot of education, please use easy words."
-
Man, most memorable has to be the lead devops engineer from the first startup I worked at. My immediate team/friends called him Mr. DW - DW being short for Done and Working.
You see, Mr. DW was a brilliant devops engineer. He came up with excellent solutions to a lot of release, deployment, and data storage problems faced at the company (small genetics firm that ships servers with our analysis software on them). I am still very impressed by some of the solutions he came up with, and wish I had more time to study and learn about them before I left that company.
BUT - despite his brilliance, Mr. DW ALWAYS shipped broken stuff. For some reason this guy thinks that only testing a single happiest of happy path scenarios for whatever he is developing constitutes "everything will work as expected!" As soon as he said it was "done", but golly for him was it "done". By fucking God was that never the truth.
So, let me provide a basic example of how things would go:
my team: "Hey DW, we have a problem with X, can you fix this?"
DW: "Oh, sure. I bet it's a problem with <insert long explanations we don't care about we just want it fixed>"
my team: "....uhh, cool! Looking forward to the fix!"
... however long later...
DW: "OK, it's done. Here you go!"
my team: "Thanks! We'll get the fix into the processing pipelines"
... another short time later...
my team: "DW, this thing is broken. Look at all these failures"
DW: "How can that be? It was done! I tested it and it worked!"
my team: "Well, the failures say otherwise. How did you test?"
DW: "I just did <insert super basic thing>"
my team: "...... you know that's, like, not how things actually work for this part of the pipeline. right?"
DW: "..... But I thought it was XYZ?"
my team: "uhhhh, no, not even close. Can you please fix and let us know when it's done and working?"
DW: "... I'll fix it..."
And rinse and repeat the "it's done.. oh wait, it's broken" a good half dozen times on average. But, anyways, the birth of Mr. Done and Working - very often stuff was done, but rarely did it ever work!
I'm still friends with my team mates, and whenever we're talking and someone says something is done, we just have to ask if it's done AND working. We always get a laugh, sadly at the excuse of Mr. DW, but he dug his own hole in this regard.
Little cherry on top: So, the above happened with one of my friends. Mr. DW created installation media for one of our servers that was deployed in China. He tested it and "it was done!" Well, my friend flies out to China for on-site installation. He plugs the install medium in and goes for the install and it crashes and burns in a fire. Thankfully my friend knew the system well enough to be able to get everything installed and configured correctly minus the broken install media, but definitely the most insane example of "it's done!" but sure as he'll "it doesn't work!" we had from Mr. DW.2 -
Sometimes I really fucking hate this company
The code is an absolute shitshow filled with static classes, untestable and duplicate code, on top of that my boss doesn’t like open source
Yeah so i’m not allowed to use a mapping library or something because “Uhhh like uhh we don’t have a contract with the company so who knows what’ll happen when the maintainers leave the project”
I understand his reasoning but it’s an absolutely retarded reasoning especially considering most of the .NET platform is open source nowadays
Writing a webapp from scratch now as well and I HAVE to use vanilla javascript and AngularJS 1.5 even though all the developers here told me they would like to upgrade to Typescript and Angular 2+ but it’s never gonna happen I suppose
Oh and he doesn’t like TDD and our only product is SAAS so imagine the amount of bugs being pushed simply because we don’t have time to write tests or even manually test, let alone refactor our horseshit codebase
AND i have to pay for gas myself which takes 200€ out of my bank account a month just for driving to work whilst I’m only getting a mediocre pay
Have a job interview tomorrow and another one on tuesday4 -
*Presents finished product to client
Client: We won't pay until you add this new feature that was never in the original specs.
*One week later after adding new feature
Client: Uhh, actually there's something else we want, do that then you get paid.
😬😬😬😬😬😬😬9 -
Im getting a bit tired of programming.
I have been struggling for years regarding programming. I did have some moments of perceived success, but most of the time it has been depressing.
I’m not sure if I dislike programming. But there are some aspects of it that make me feel not as passionate about it.
First of, programs are invisible. No one sees your program or you (assuming we’re talking about a non artistic dev job).
People can’t see lines of code executing, but even if they did it would be gibberish to them.
Users can only become aware of bad software and that kind of breaks my heart a bit.
You could write fast, stable, secure, easy to read, easy to update software. People won’t notice. Hell, even your boss/coworkers might not notice.
In fact, sometimes you try to do the good thing, you try to become a better dev, you try to write tests first, you try to i18n, and what do you get? “Uhh, that’s taking too much time and I don’t see the benefit”.
I know some people will say that people noticing bad service happens on every job.
But programming is the ultimate isolation job. No client has ever told me “hey that code you wrote was pretty good”. They can’t even read code.
I don’t know the users, the users don’t know me, and the users can only judge my program by the result, they can only judge the visual interface.
Let’s say you write a cool project at github. The code is great. Guess what, every language’s ecosystem out there is saturated. Everything is already written. GitHub is saturated. Your best project ends up being a just for yourself enjoyment.
I’m not saying you shouldn’t enjoy code for yourself. That’s how I bet most prolific coders start. I’ve been doing that for many years now. But at some point you want to be part of something with humans.
Imagine I’m stranded on an island with nothing no humans, just food, water and a computer. Would I write code just for myself, just for fun? I think I would off myself 3 months in.
Maybe I should do develop a more social talent...14 -
Oh, this PHP thing is becoming big, we must use this; *makes ASP*
Oh, oh, this Java thing is really popular, and we're not the big bois now! *releases C#*
Waaait, functional is cool now? Damnit. Dude, grab this~~~ *F#*
Uhh. So people actually like JavaScript now? A wild *~~TypeScript~~* has appeared
Why does Microsoft have a history of following trends, and releasing poor clones with no substantial improvements??9 -
I remember a few months ago at my school we all had taken the Chromebooks (our county's OS of choice) out and put them on our desks. We were in science, and we needed to take screenshots of websites for some reason. "Everyone go to the chrome store," our teacher said, with a look-how-smart-i-am kind of look on her face, "search for the 'Awesome Screenshot Extension.'" Ugh. This was dumb. I reluctantly searched it up and upon bringing up the description and about to press the "Add to Chrome" button, when I stopped, and made a decision I would later regret. Now, I don't really like this teacher, and she thought she was so fucking smart for finding this shit extension. I raised my hand, and she walked over. "Uhh… I'm pretty sure you can just do Ctrl + shift + []|| to take a screenshot" I said. She was fucking dumbfounded. She yelled out "Class, listen up! [Let's call me 'Ben' for this story] Ben just found an alternative [she was trying to make her extension not seem entirely useless, even though she knew it was] way to take a screenshot. Just press Ctrl + shift plus that box with the two lines next to it. You can use my extension or the one Ben found. Whichever is easier [she damn well knew which was easier]." Three times in the span of the next five minutes she said "just a reminder… you can use Ben's way if you want" to the whole class. Everyone kept looking at me. A few minutes later, she called me up to the computer which was being displayed on the big screen in front of class. She said some people were having trouble, so then pulled all the attention on me to come up to the front of class and demonstrate a goddamn keyboard shortcut. She was running windows 8, and I knew it wouldn't work on her computer. I pressed a few random keys on the keyboard and said "uhh, I think it only works on their computers" she let me sit back down. She couldn't handle the concept that different computers run different operating systems. I sat down and the guy sitting next to me raised his hand. He said "you could use the 'snippet tool'" Yes. Some people can. But she can't. I stopped him from doing anymore damage on their small brains by saying "uhh, it won't work on the Chromebooks, so that won't help." I hate that teacher. At lunch my friend came over to me. He has the same science teacher as me. "You know what she's been saying all day?" I was confused. "What?" I said. He almost started to laugh. "All day she's [the teacher] has been telling everyone that you found this amazing new technology in the Chromebooks. [Most of the students were smart enough to know that I didnt] she was like 'Ben, from my 2nd period found this amazing thing'" End of story. And guess what? I still hate her.3
-
Follow-up.
After getting fired last week, I went to the company today to take my papers, then the security guard asked for my government ID and refused to let me go the 5th floor to HR office, apparently because they had a meeting, then they had me waiting 20 minutes in the ground floor at the reception and when I asked if I could go to the bathroom he came in to the elevator with me and waited for me to get out to escort me back, I was so fucking furious by this point I just had it and told him who gave you the orders to take my gov ID and escort me everywhere like I'm a fucking maniac or a thief? Are you afraid of me breaking chairs or destroying offices or you think I'm gonna kill someone?
He then told me sorry sir but it's the orders, then I went to HR office and complained and called for the manager and she just came out with a bunch of BS, uhh I'm so sorry sometimes security can be a bit rude and what not.
SO YOU FUCKING MORONS THIS IS THE LAST TIME I'LL EVER BE COMING TO THIS FUCKING COMPANY AND YOU CAN'T EVEN GIVE ONE GOOD IMPRESSION FOR 30 MINUTES? HOLY SHIT!!!
Never in my life have I seen such incompetence, I just kept getting shocked to the last minute. -
>dad nagging to learn python
>i hate python
>cuz i hate snakes
>whatever
>so started learning it
>with some awesome video tutorials
>even though i like the instructor
>i find the language
>boring
>uhh
>why do u use this?
>oh and you say it is easy 4 begineers
>oh good
>then why does only
>del keyword gets highlighted in pycharm
>just to look cool i guess
>lua is way better
>hope lua is more used than python
>and more supported
>but i still like C#
Moral: C# rocks10 -
A rant about pretentious people:
So last week I walk into college and I find that a new "Machine Learning Crash Course" is being offered by a senior. Now I'm a beginner in this domain, and know the just basic concepts and math behind it. Naturally, I was super curious about this and decided to talk the student who was supposed to teach the course.
I asked him where he learned from, and mentioned that I'm an interested beginner. He just replied, "YouTube".
Okaaaaayyy?
Now I'm suspicious of this guy, so I asked him if he's worked on any related projects I could look into, to which he replies, "Not yet, but I'm working on some".
Now I'm SUPER suspicious. A guy that's got no experience with the subject, yet is teaching others about it?
Get this, at this point he rudely asks me if I have anything else to say. So I asked him a super simple question: "Do you know what gradient descent is?". He replies "Uhh, no, but I've heard about it".
I lost it.
HOW DID THIS GUY MANAGE TO CONVINCE THE HEAD OF THE DEPARTMENT AND SEVERAL OTHER PROFESSORS TO TEACH A MACHINE LEARNING CRASH COURSE?
People like him need to go away.
/rant4 -
I wrote something to make QEMU VMs with GPU passthrough easy, thought I may share.
Feel free to look and uhh help me improve it, I really have no idea how some things in QEMU works. PRs and stuff appreciated
https://github.com/sr229/nya4 -
I don't know if I'm being pranked or not, but I work with my boss and he has the strangest way of doing things.
- Only use PHP
- Keep error_reporting off (for development), Site cannot function if they are on.
- 20,000 lines of functions in a single file, 50% of which was unused, mostly repeated code that could have been reduced massively.
- Zero Code Comments
- Inconsistent variable names, function names, file names -- I was literally project searching for months to find things.
- There is nothing close to a normalized SQL Database, column ID names can't even stay consistent.
- Every query is done with a mysqli wrapper to use legacy mysql functions.
- Most used function is to escape stirngs
- Type-hinting is too strict for the code.
- Most files packed with Inline CSS, JavaScript and PHP - we don't want to use an external file otherwise we'd have to open two of them.
- Do not use a package manger composer because he doesn't have it installed.. Though I told him it's easy on any platform and I'll explain it.
- He downloads a few composer packages he likes and drag/drop them into random folder.
- Uses $_GET to set values and pass them around like a message contianer.
- One file is 6000 lines which is a giant if statement with somewhere close to 7 levels deep of recursion.
- Never removes his old code that bloats things.
- Has functions from a decade ago he would like to save to use some day. Just regular, plain old, PHP functions.
- Always wants to build things from scratch, and re-using a lot of his code that is honestly a weird way of doing almost everything.
- Using CodeIntel, Mess Detectors, Error Detectors is not good or useful.
- Would not deploy to production through any tool I setup, though I was told to. Instead he wrote bash scripts that still make me nervous.
- Often tells me to make something modern/great (reinventing a wheel) and then ends up saying, "I think I'd do it this way... Referes to his code 5 years ago".
- Using isset() breaks things.
- Tens of thousands of undefined variables exist because arrays are creates like $this[][][] = 5;
- Understanding the naming of functions required me to write several documents.
- I had to use #region tags to find places in the code quicker since a router was about 2000 lines of if else statements.
- I used Todo Bookmark extensions in VSCode to mark and flag everything that's a bug.
- Gets upset if I add anything to .gitignore; I tried to tell him it ignores files we don't want, he is though it deleted them for a while.
- He would rather explain every line of code in a mammoth project that follows no human known patterns, includes files that overwrite global scope variables and wants has me do the documentation.
- Open to ideas but when I bring them up such as - This is what most standards suggest, here's a literal example of exactly what you want but easier - He will passively decide against it and end up working on tedious things not very necessary for project release dates.
- On another project I try to write code but he wants to go over every single nook and cranny and stay on the phone the entire day as I watch his screen and Im trying to code.
I would like us all to do well but I do not consider him a programmer but a script-whippersnapper. I find myself trying to to debate the most basic of things (you shouldnt 777 every file), and I need all kinds of evidence before he will do something about it. We need "security" and all kinds of buzz words but I'm scared to death of this code. After several months its a nice place to work but I am convinced I'm being pranked or my boss has very little idea what he's doing. I've worked in a lot of disasters but nothing like this.
We are building an API, I could use something open source to help with anything from validations, routing, ACL but he ends up reinventing the wheel. I have never worked so slow, hindered and baffled at how I am supposed to build anything - nothing is stable, tested, and rarely logical. I suggested many things but he would rather have small talk and reason his way into using things he made.
I could fhave this project 50% done i a Node API i two weeks, pretty fast in a PHP or Python one, but we for reasons I have no idea would rather go slow and literally "build a framework". Two knuckleheads are going to build a PHP REST framework and compete with tested, tried and true open source tools by tens of millions?
I just wanted to rant because this drives me crazy. I have so much stress my neck and shoulder seems like a nerve is pinched. I don't understand what any of this means. I've never met someone who was wrong about so many things but believed they were right. I just don't know what to say so often on call I just say, 'uhh..'. It's like nothing anyone or any authority says matters, I don't know why he asks anything he's going to do things one way, a hard way, only that he can decipher. He's an owner, he's not worried about job security.13 -
I was at the doctor today for a bad back.
Nurse: how much weight can you lift before your back hurts?
Me: the heaviest thing I have lifted in the past year is my keyboard
Nurse: uhh, what?
Me: I mean 60-70 lbs.1 -
* How I solve a problem*
"Okay, it seems to be interesting, OK think solve it generally"
*Solved the problem manually
"Okay pseudo code is /do this and that/ break it and write Algo.
Seems like it will work,
Making all sense
Okay let's code"
*Wrote in IDE
" Hmm compile and execute"
*Expected output : Hey you!
*Actual output : F you!
Me: What the hell
"Uhh! Just gonna apply brute force"
*Somehow got the actual output = expected output
"I knew, it gonna solve it but how it worked?"
*Thinking
*Thinking....
*Thinking and it's 2 am
"Oh! I'm done, I'm going to sleep"
*4 am, while lucid dreaming
"That's how that thing worked, I got it"
*Relieved
*Next day using the logic dreamt of
*No matter how much surreal it is
*It didn't work
Me : F U!!!
..
..
...
(to be continued)2 -
Professor: "I've been using java for many, many years and know close to everything."
Student: "How do I compile my code on the unix server?"
Professor: "uhh.... I don't know."
Let's start hiring people who actually know what they're doing.1 -
Central team: No, your team must be doing something wrong. Our pipeline is super-configurable and works for any situation! You just have to read the docs!
Me: Where are the docs?
Central team: Uhh, well, umm... we'll hook you up with a CI/CD coach!
Me: Okay, cool. In the mean time, can you point me at the repo where all the base scripts are?
Central team: Sure, it's here.
Me, some weeks later: Yeah, uhh, the coach can't seem to figure out how to make our Prod deployment work either.
Central team: That's impossible! It's so easy and completely configurable!
Me: Well, okay... but, here's the thing: your pipeline IS pretty "configurable", in the sense that you look for A LOT of variables...
Central team: See! We told you!
Me: ...none of which are actually documented, so they're just about useless to me...
Central team: But, but the coach...
Me: ...couldn't make heads or taisl of it either despite him literally being ON YOUR TEAM...
Central team: Then your project must just be architected wrong!
Me: Well, we're not perfect, so could be...
Central team: Right!
Me: ...but I think it's far more likely that the scripts... you know, the ACTUAL Python scripts the pipeline executes... while it took me DAYS to get through all your levels of abstraction and indirection and, well, BULLSHIT... it turns out they are incredibly NOT flexible. They do one thing, all the time, basically disregarding any flexibility in the pipeline. So, yeah, I'm thinking this is probably one of this "it's you, not me" deals.
Central team: Waaaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!!2 -
Do not change username in win10.
Messes up ownership.
Ex) You have set your username as Loren. Used computer for a while. Installed bunch of programs.
Then you change your u.c to Ipsum. Some installed programs adapt to new u.c. others dont. New programs set the installation folder to either c://Loren or c://Ipsum making chaos.
Then the computer gets messed up.
...........
Opens Git Bash.
Ipsum-blahblah ~ git blahblah
Close it.
Open again
Loren-blahblah (uhh!)3 -
Update to: https://devrant.com/rants/1573298/
So I just had the interview. It wasn't too bad, but I caught myself stuttering and saying "uhh" way too frequently. I also kind of stumped my toe on a question about explaining a computer virus to someone.
Hopefully it'll go well in the end.4 -
!rant
Warning : This rant is long and is a rant asking for help and suggestions. If you will read and dont leave any comments, please go search other rants. Thanks.
-----------------------------------
Hi, fellow ranters. In our community, we have a tech class where teens (teens here mean 14yo -15yo) come to learn computer stuffs. Teens here are selected by a test and an interview. There are some teens who are f***ing awesome. One of them are proficient in scratch. (yeah, the orange cat) Another is awesome at PhotoShop, and the other loves windows xp. The teacher uses Microsoft Visual C++ IDE made in the 1990s. The kid sitting to my left made flappy bird with gamemaker. About 10 to 11 teens doesnt know what ctrl+alt+del does in windows and never did programming before... 3 among them always brings coke and oreos and eats super loudly. CRACK! And I bet no one knows about git.
Ok. Enough for the awesome teens. Now what we learn.
We learn C! Yes, C. We learned for, if else, switch and all those stuffs, then learned variables, which made other students who never did programming before be (―,.―).
Next class we will learn about functions in 3 hours. Then array and pointer in 3 hours. Thats it for c programming. Then we do some unnecessary stuffs and time for the finals.
We need to make a project with up to 4 teens as one team. Now I am asking you awesome ranters to suggest some projects for about 4 pros and 16 noobs can do. 10 hours are given in class and we can do in other times by ourselves in home. What should we do? I bet many of them will say to make ascii art in c which is dull and I have no thoughts of doing that.
Any thoughts will be appreciated.
Thank you for reading.
To see my skills, go to my profile page.
| Comments below
v17 -
DO NOT LIE ON YOUR RESUMÉ!
I don't understand why people do this. I understand that some shady recruiters like to "gin up" the occasional resumé, but I'm talking about the people who write that they're familiar with MySQL and can't even write a SELECT, or the people who write that they're familiar with Python and can't describe the differences between v2 and v3.
And the interviews are awkward as *fuck*.
I: "So it says you're good at MySQL, could you answer a few questions about it?"
C: "Uhh... okay"
I (sensing danger): "Why would you add an index to table that already exists?"
C: "I.. don't know"
I (oh jesus I see where this is going): "Okay, we'll skip that. How would you query across a couple of tables?"
C: "Uh...."
I ([internally screaming]): "How about a single query on a single table?"
C: "I don't know that, sorry..."
I (desperately wanting to ask why the FUCK is MySQL on your resumé?): "Thank you for your time, we'll call you."
You almost feel sorry for the guy, but come the fuck on, did you think nobody would check?19 -
I kind of just came to an insight that my computer is sort of my partner in crime.
I "teach" it how to do something that I'm probably better of not doing or should do in moderation... But then it gives me access to so much of the stuff, I spend a lot more time doing it... more effectively.
So I actually don't save much time because it makes it easier so I now do even more...
I would post some screenshots but its uhh..... NSFW... at least this one is.25 -
I do not understand people who critique Python for using indentation to mark code blcoks. I've seen multiple posts being like "Uhh in Python a missing space breaks everything and it's so hard to find it". Yeah so hard when the interpreter throws a parse error and tells you exactly which line it's on. Let me go back to a bracefest language, misplace a brace halfway through the file, and get told there's a syntax error at the end, and spend a whole two minutes finding it.11
-
So this is what a test looks like here in my school...
I really like my teacher but his test are... uhh... fucking awful.
I mean the code isn't even indented ffs! Like wtf?!? How should one be able to read this bullshit?
The questions are shitty too.
Also please add line numbers so it is easier to describe how things work in the code.
AND USE FUCKING A4 PAPERS FFS!!!
Thanks,
an experienced student7 -
if i work on PussyBranch to build up a feature, and DickBranch is my main branch so if i merge directly from Pussy into Dick and then work on Dick, and then switch to Pussy again then surely i wouldnt be able to commit to Dick because Pussy isn't filled up with the new code, right? I'd need to pull the latest code from Dick into Pussy branch. but what if i dont want to merge Dick into Pussy code? because what Dick contains, Pussy should not and that would cause anomaly and break uhh how do u call it, the purpose of the branch itself right. So if I want to work only on Pussy and commit just that segment of the new code into Dick, how do I do that? Do i have to force pushing Pussy code into Dick every time or can i do it without force command? serious answers only pls
also what alcohol is good for a more productive and longer hour coding sessions thx6 -
Had a better day with i3wm and Linux. Did a lot of futzing with config files and got it looking pretty cool. My status bar is relevant, urxvt is transparent, I'm happy with it.
I would have taken a screenshot to share with you all but uhh... I don't know how yet. :/6 -
The best happened today.
These past 2 weeks have been shit. People wronged me big time, got thrown under the bus for shit that the people behind refused to own up to it. Took that shit because I just couldn't be bothered to fucking argue.
I'm the only dev on this project and we're so close to release so I bit my tongue and took it on the chin but it's been eating me alive since then.
The tipping point was yesterday. 5 people failed to communicate shit properly amongst themselves on all channels got me forced to be the last one finishing work yesterday 4 hours after everyone left. I had every right to refuse and leave on time but again, we're so close to release and I don't want to see this project fail.
But see, I got angry. So fucking angry that nothing else has been on my mind since yesterday.
I don't take out my anger at others, that's not who I am (moslty) so today I was at work and secluded myself from everyone else otherwise I would've exploded in someone's face.
I was also supposed to meet up with friends tonight but with all this shit going on I decided not to go because I would not have been fun to be around.
Left work on time today, fell asleep on the train because I am too exhausted.
When I was about to walk into my house I noticed this little super cute puppy following me. I had no idea where or how long he's been behind me as I was walking home but he seemed way too happy when I saw him. His tail wagging like he's excited to see me even though I have never seen him. I petted him, played a bit with him. He seemed to be the happiest dog ever 😁. He managed to put a smile on my face for the first time in the last few days.
He then ran away.. I guess he got bored 😅
I am feeling so much better now all because of this little puppy 🐶. I'm so glad I ran into him because I've been smiling since then.
I wish I had took a picture of him 😥
Doggo, you probably won't read this, but thanks mate you made my month in those few minutes 🤘
If you have a dog, go pet him and appreciate how much happiness they bring in your life. If you have a cat.. Uhh I don't know... Uhh pray it doesn't kill you in your sleep I guess?
Thanks for reading3 -
!rant !dev
I was just on my way to work back from the University cafeteria when a guy in a black car - who I thought was moving the car out of a parking lot - stopped the car and asked if I had a second.
Naive me, thinking he might need directions or something decided to listen to him.
He looked older, around 60ish, with sunglasses on ( making it harder for me to read him).
He said that he had a stroke (or something) a few years ago and got damage to his brain, so that sometimes it can happen that he would faint. Therefore, he cannot go swimming unsupervised, and was asking if I would have the time to accompany him to the university lake, so that he could swim for an hour or so. He offered to pay me 40 bucks.
Me, being paranoid af, declined politely, saying I have to go to work ( which was actually true).
He goes on to say how he was a teacher, how he worked at the university before, how I look trustworthy, how I am the first person he asks today, and asked if he could have my number, so that he could call me sometime to supervise the swimming. I would just need to look out for him not to drown and if anything looks weird I should alarm the people working at the lake ( lookouts? not sure what they are called).
I kept declining politely and he backed off, letting me go without any fuzz.
Previously he also mentioned how some students are rich, others are poor, and how he would have done anything for 20 bucks back in the day. But also said that he accepts a no and won't bother me further.
He also mentioned he wouldn't lay a hand on me, that he is not a creep, since I could see his car and license plate, and if I gave him my number, I would also have his. That I shouldn't worry about anything, if I later decided to say no he would delete my number, and that he is not big on the technology and Internet so nothing would happen.
Uhh... well if he was genuine I'm sorry for him, but then you can just ask authorities at the beach to pay more attention to you, no?
Mentioning "all my worries" raised a red flag for me sort of.
Also, if you keep on fainting occasionally, even if you haven't fainted in 2 years, how are you allowed to drive? Or actually, why do you even drive then?
I don't know. The more I think about it, the more I think I should have taken a picture of the car or license plate.
And there are literal services for this kind of thing. Pretty sure you can get one of these if you are willing to pay even.
Jeez now I'm worried for the entire population of my university...9 -
when my friends call me and say let's stay in touch on facebook, me i'll be like: emm uhh sorry i quit smoking.1
-
do people not understand achievements unless you brag about them =-=
been asking AI on different examples of flexing and all of them sound like vapid LinkedIn posts
"just asked AI a question that's been bugging me for hours! it's such a nothing to have no answers still! 🎉"
one of my favourite examples: "accidentally set my kitchen on fire while trying to impress my friends with my cooking skills. but hey, I now know how to order takeout like a pro. win?"
lol what
I now wonder if I'm depressed cuz graduating school or finishing projects or... uhh ordering food? just sounds stupid to me
rewrote my code from hashset to hashmap. actually kind of re-organized some data types. brain is fog because fuck you. but everything ran so I guess rust thinks it's ok. I'm just annoyed by all that though cuz I just wish I didn't have to do it in the first place
TF is there to brag about
also if you brag about anything good everyone just wants to steal it from you
WHAT IS THE PURPOSE OF BRAGGING16 -
-4 Domain Administrators in my organization-
Me, a Doman Administrator: "Boy, I sure hope the FDIC IT Audit goes well!"
Braindead FDIC Examiner: "So let me get this straight, you use your administrator account to do things on a day-to-day basis?"
Me: "Uhh, I'm an admin so yeah, my account has admin privileges."
Examiner: *gives disapproving glare* "And your personal account has administrative rights?"
Me: "...I'm an admin... So I thought that'd be fairly obvious."
Examiner: "I'm sorry, but that is unacceptable. How can we tell which admin made what change when?"
Me: *dumbfounded* "...I'm sorry, what?"
Examiner: "You're going to need separate accounts, 1 normal user account and 1 admin account per domain admin."
Me: "You do realize that everything I do while I'm working requires elevation of SOME kind, don't you?"
Examiner: "I'm sorry, but you need to make this change. Thank you."
Me: *stares at the short pile of braindead shit as he walks away*8 -
My room in my apartment: Gaming desktop PC, big monitor, privacy... cuz uhh.... I sometimes code NSFW apps like these past few days.4
-
I hate people ranting about “Uhh thats not responsive I sent a screen how I imagined it.“
Open Screen, 1918x703 px WIDE.
Explained for an hour that thats not fucking responsive. Nobody could see or read that even if I were to implement. Responsive fucking means text breaks BELOW the damn pictures to make it readable. I will never fit that on an iphone or something unless he pays extra so i can perform dark magic to force vertical view on some devices and put 100 alert functions that the device is not supported by the site.
Im so mad fuck him and fuck me1 -
PLEASE RETROFIT THIS ISSUE TO THE BRANCH NOW! THIS NEEDS TO BE IN TODAY! NO EXCUSES!
Uhh, that would be ok if it weren't 40 commits over several JIRA issues in over 12 different modules... or if you had given me more than half a day to accomplish this task. But no. So here were are, at work at 7:30 pm spinning builds. Missing date night with my S.O.
And now the build is red.
Kill me.2 -
Me: Yea, Linux is great! Screw Windows!
*Touchpad stops working on startup
Me: It's fine, it could happen on Windows...
*Laptop fans start blasting at 100% during class
Me: It's uhh, probably just a simple thing, nothing to worry about....
*Restarts computer after updating. Screen completely black, even after restarting multiple times.
Me: Oh FFS....4 -
uhh.. sony has a new generation of noise canceling headphones wh1000xm3 with improved anc.
I just bought the second version, they're great but now it seems i have to sell them and buy the new version 🙈
https://thenextweb.com/plugged/...2 -
So this morning a guy asked me what my work was, I told him I'm a mobile developer, and what the work consists of
Then he came out with a:
"oh I heard that you developers write code, but which code? Something like Morse code or Braille?"
And i was like: "wtf, did he seriously said that?!"
So I jumped right in and replied
"No, actually I see pretty sharp"
... but I think he didn't get it ..uhh so sad :c -
Interesting...
On Friday, I was playing with the ChatGPT integration in DBeaver. I was using the DBeaver sample SQLite database. This database has a couple of tables, among them Album and Artist, where Album has a foreign key into Artist.
So, I asked it:
"give me a query that lists all albums from artists who's name starts with s"
The query I got back was:
SELECT * FROM Album
Uhh, okay.
But then, I noticed that I wrote "who's" instead of 'whose', which would be proper grammatically. So, I changed that, and then I got this query:
SELECT * FROM Album WHERE ArtistId IN (SELECT ArtistId FROM Artist WHERE Name LIKE 'S%');
Hooray, that works! I'm not sure it's the best way to write the query... I might have written:
SELECT * FROM album a, artist r WHERE a.artistid=r.artistid AND r.name LIKE 'S%'
...I'd have to check to see if one performs better than the other, and consider which syntax I find clearer, but that's a separate issue, it's just nice to see a working, reasonable query generated because that's the point, after all.
But I found it interesting that such a minor error would cause it to not work, that's my main point.
Interestingly, it seems to have learned: I just tried the same thing, and I got the right query either way. So that's pretty cool.
It's a pretty neat feature and I can see some legitimate value in it. I'm pretty good writing SQL myself... I've managed to write some truly hideously complex queries over the years... but there are definitely instances I can recall where the query didn't seem obvious at the start, and having an AI that can MAYBE produce something that is AT LEAST a starting point is definitely something I can get onboard with.9 -
During my first-ever technical interview, the interviewer asked me "Do you know the FizzBuzz problem?"
"Uhh, not really." (I was just thinking ok this problem has a name, must be some algorithm problem)
"So the problem is basically to give you the numbers 1 to 100, if the number is divisible by 3, print 'Fizz', if divisible by 5, print 'Buzz', if divisible by 3 and 5, print 'FizzBuzz'. For other numbers just print out the number itself."
After hearing the problem, I felt so many ideas popping out of my stressed brain.
I thought for a bit and said "ok, so if the digit sum of a number is a multiple of 3, then the number is divisible by 3, and if the last digit is either 0 or 5, it's divisible by 5."
Then I started to code out my solution until the interviewer said "there's an easier solution. Can you think of it?"
This stressed me out even more.
I thought for a bit and said "well, starting from 3, keep a counter that records how many iterations are done after 3. When the counter hits 3, that number would be divisible by 3 for sure. Should I try this solution?"
The interviewer said "Sure." So I started again.
However, I struggled for about another 3min until I realized this solution is a lot harder to implement. The interviewer probably saw my struggle too.
This was the point where he stepped in and asked me "Ummmm there's an easy way of solving this. Have you heard of the MODULO OPERATOR?"
In sheer embarrassment, I finished the code in 30s.
Of course, there was no further question after this, and I felt the need to seriously reevaluate my intelligence afterwards.11 -
That feeling when you compiled a large piece of code and it works, but then you make a tiny tiny change in the execution progress and you uncover that it is broken in a dark and twisted way.... Uhh its perfect..
Its so good... IT MAKES ME WANNA *#%#@£... -
Recruiter contacted me about a job via email. Being the intrepid dev, I GlassDoor'd them. Nothing but shit reviews, so I told him no thanks.
"Oh we've seen the reviews and we're really trying to get our stuff together."
"Not on my back, you won't. I'm not going from the frying pan into the fire. "
He sent me more email asking me to reconsider. If you have shit reviews and have to beg people, uhh, are you that stupid to think anyone will come work for you?2 -
Soo uhh.. I'm not getting notifications from devrant until I open the app up myself.. Now I wonder if this is a bug or if my phone is just sucking at its job again3
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Begin teaching fundamentals much earlier. For me, I learnt Java classes and some fundamentals for it, but more basic programming skills went by the wayside until 2nd year of Uni.
The course we did on logic was good both years, but stuff like data structures and algorithms (sorting, linked lists etc) should be taught first.
Something else that might be useful is maybe not learning Java initially. What annoyed me with that (and I'm sure confused some people) was the amount of
- "Hey what does that mean?"
- "Uhh, don't worry about it yet"
which while it might encourage you to go read about it, is more likely to encourage the opposite, and tend to ask less questions, even when switching language.
I can't say for other universities, but I think a larger focus should be on gaining skills in the field, rather than becoming employable through doing employability things.
I know plenty of second year students that still couldn't have completed our first semester first year assignment, which was essentially some object manipulation wrapped up in a few classes and a basic console I/O.2 -
I'm given a simple assignment to update email templates. I tot it would be a breeze.
It turn out SURPRISE! After the updating of template is done. I deploy the code in the development environment.
I tried to access the email template like how the user will see to verify all is good. It turn out i am facing error.
So uhh ok, i went to check the logs to see what the hiccups. It turn out that a table is missing. But this is production code. So my question how the hell did the production environment has the table but dev don't.....6 -
I'm in the drive-thru of burger king
can I please get uhh whopper jr with onion rings
make it a meal so I can get a drink
no I'm not finished, that's not everything
can I please get a double whopper with no cheese
I got money so I don't care how much it cost me
so just throw in some extra fries don't make them salty
all this cheese gonna make my booty drip drip
I'm lactose intolerant I don't sip milk
if I see a sight of cheese I'm gonna trip trip
I'm gonna sit on your toilet seat, doodoo then dip
so you got my little whopper jr (i didn't forget that)
and you got my double whopper (i didn't forget that)
what about my onion rings (hold on you can sit back)
burger king, they know me now, cheese I don't want that
(grrr) and I'm getting hungry now, I know you heard that
waiting for my onion rings so I don't have to turn back
burger king don't play with me, your nuggets are so trash
nuggets taste like rabbit nipples why do you even serve that
better stop playing and just give me all of my food
either I pay you right now or leave the drive-thru
gave me the bag and then I took a bite of my food
there's cheese in my mouth, I'm gonna doodooo
I'm in the drive-thru of burger king
man they just gave me a whopper jr with hella cheese
made it a meal so yes I got my drink
but why do they put cheese on everything
they put cheese on my double whopper with no cheese
ill be taking a number two in the morning
hold on, can I please be excused for a moment
the cheese already in my body, booty farting
I farted.. -
uhh im pretty sure everyone here has seen my html and css skills. ill be back until i don't make trash out of thin air. and yes. ill be learning react :) and maybe cutting off js soon. for typescript its for my own good!3
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So our teacher is telling us to join some kind of competition thing that the government creates, and uhh, when I went to the website, sign up with a separate account that I will probably never use once again in my whole life, and then I notice that when you click to the TOS link in the "I agree with the TOS", it does... nothing, yes, it doesn't lead you to an actual TOS page or anything, it just teleports you up, what?????, did you just create a fking TOS link and it doesn't actually lead to anywhere else? Then why do it anyway? Also, you can literally find a TOS template with some English keyword and then plastered it on some obscure page and then use the TOS link to lead to that one instead of blatantly do nothing. Also, I noticed that they use a authentication service called Eids Authentication. Who the fk is this guy? Why don't you just use something already popular like Auth0? They have way better UI/UX than whatever that is and supports way more platform logins like Google and Faxbook which are more familiar to us.