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Search - "it department"
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Secretary of the IT department stated in a meeting that she was "overqualified to babysit a group of 40 grown-ass men who are unable to communicate with each other"
... all devs had a huge grin on their faces because we knew that she was absolutely right, management was furious 😂
She submitted her resignation on the same day, best secretary we've ever had!1 -
I once brought my Kali Linux laptop to school. (Because normal had dead battery, waiting for shipping)
MFW someone from the IT department is called in to fix teachers projector and he sees I still have the default dragon wallpaper on it.
MFW when recognises it it's Kali.
MFW he calls the police and my laptop gets taken away because 'its dangerous' and I get questioned in school.
The police came back a week later to check my laptop again. 'uhh we gotta check the logs'.
IF I WANTED IT TO BE DANGEROUS YOU'D BE FIXING A LOT MORE THAN JUST THE FUCKING PROJECTOR!
Also, wuddup devrant!13 -
My first job was a statistical program that i wrote during a trainee at a local IT department.
My boss liked it and told me I could keep the sources and the copyright.
Then he made some phone calls and helped me to find my first clients.
Since that time I am working on the same program.
I founded a software company and have a good life now.
My old boss retired some years ago, but some of the team are still there.
From time to time I visit the department having a coffee with old friends.
That trainee was nearly 30 years ago.12 -
Each month my department compiles a 4M row 150 column data table for compliance with a federal agency. Before submitting, we check it against about 400 rules.
The existing system was simply 400 queries that ran in sequence, table-scanning 4M rows each time, taking upwards of 6 hours, which is a huge bottleneck, especially if you have to make changes and rerun. Plus the output was rather one-dimensional.
I built a proper normalized database and created a sort of rules engine, running all 400 rules in one table scan. Not only does it complete in 30 minutes, but the reports generate automatically, and the results can be filtered on several dimensions to aid with root-cause analysis.
Management was pleased.4 -
The marketing department is right next door to my office, and to make room for their new intern, a very high end, large, and noisy printer was 'temporarily' placed in my office. I'm a reasonable person though, and didn't mind this. The salespeople figured out that it makes commercial grade printouts, so for their various presentations and whatnot, they'll print enormous numbers of pages on this thing, and basically use my office as a motherfucking water-cooler. After a few weeks of this, I logged into the printer from my computer, and set it to disallow all connections from MAC addresses other than those in the marketing department, who print far less material on their own, special, dedicated printer. Absolute fucking chaos ensued. Grown men were brought to tears, ultimatums were made, and blood was shed. The hardware guys were down here for over an hour, making up absolute bullshit as to why it wasn't working(which really surprised me).
Long story short, cut off access to printer, sit back and watch the true face of humanity emerge. Seriously, fuck those guys. They have their own goddamn printer.7 -
CEO hired graphics designer without HR help after first meeting and that person first day of his work borrowed money from people and that’s not end of story.
Same guy came back at night and robbed the workplace with his friends, didn’t came back to work. Company bought couple of big iMac for new graphics department back then, all gone.
When company reported incident to Police it turned out he travel and steal from companies all over the country and they’re trying to catch him for a year.12 -
Years ago I was an application developer at a medium sized corporation and was also responsible for support for an HR department. This occurred early one morning shortly after I arrived at work.
User: My app doesn't work.
Me: What's wrong with it?
User: I just get a blank screen.
Me: A blank screen? What happens when you hit a key?
User: Nothing.
Me: Do any apps work?
User: No, I just get a blank screen.
Me: Is your monitor on?
User: Yes, I turned it on.
This type of witty banter went on for several minutes when the answer suddenly hit me.
Me: Is your computer turned on?
User: Do I need to turn it on?
Me: Did you turn it off before you went home last night?
User: Yes.
Me: And do you normally turn it on in the morning when you come in?
User: Yes.
Me: Then why didn't you turn it on this morning when you came in?
User: I didn't know I needed to.
It was at this point I heard the programmer over the cubicle wall from me burst out laughing. He had been listening to the conversation and couldn't take it anymore.
The really sad part is that this was not an isolated incident. This kind of stuff occurred on a semi-regular basis with this individual's department.10 -
Our company got attacked last month by what i believe was a code time bomb from a ex employee. And it was brutal, website hacked, email server not responding, locked out from database servers. The IT department asked for my help and I was more than happy to do it. Long story short I got every thing back working smoothly. The IT guys ask for a favor to not include this in my monthly progress report. Fine by me. But then they went out and tokd the top management that they are teaching me about the networks and servers so thats why I was working with them last month. Fucking assholes. Not going to help them any more.4
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FBI: FUCK!! We just lost our connection to all those civilian routers we were monitoring
FBI IT Department: Did you try turning them off and back on?
FBI:5 -
This girl from financial department pissed me off so badly I took 15 minutes of my private time to slightly modify CSS and JS for her user in our intranet panel, made everything pink and blue, animate all the buttons to randomly barrel roll and made the mouse cursor explode colourful star particles with each click.
She *liked* it, said it was *sweet* and *apologized* for being an ass. Robbed me of all the satisfaction. :(7 -
So our company hired a new COO few months ago, and he oversees digital department as well
recently he called the digital department into his office to talk about a new campaign for a client, and client's mascot is a ladybug, so he goes like this
COO: So i was thinking, we need to make people more aware about the new branch opening
COO: I have a creative / innovative idea, we probably can get an award for this and I'm sure client will be really impressed with this. Why don't we put ladybugs on Google homepage, just walking around flapping their wings and stuff, i mean everyone visits Google right ?
Our Team: awkwardly looking at each other
Me: 😐😐😐😐
( I was confused what to think )
Then our designer calmly explained him why it wouldn't work while we were trying our best not to laugh
how the fuck someone like him manage to stay alive all these years and become a COO, i mean he doesn't have to know it all but damn this is common sense10 -
IT department created a risk assessment system and asked us to fill out the form.
I found that the form is vulnerable to XSS and possibly SQL injection so I told them and their response was:
"Oh, shit. Please don't tell anyone!"
Of course, it never get fixed :/7 -
At age of 20, I got hired as junior dev at a mobile gaming company. We were 2 junior devs hired at the same time and one of our senior colleagues made a prank: he came in the office before us and rearranged our offices in a "funny" manner.
Two days later I waited for him to go home. I opened his PC case, removed the power button cable from the motherboard and then re-arranged everything back to normal. Well, I couldn't resist...
Next day he came into the office and, well, surprise... the PC was not starting. He went to the IT department and they spent 4 hours trying to figure out why it was not working. They replaced the CPU, RAM memory, including the PSU.
I had to go and tell them: "maybe it's the power button jack?!".
I got into some problems for that prank. Indeed I crossed a line, but what the hell... that was a bad IT department.19 -
Perhaps not "best", but certainly most amusing, so what the heck!
Years ago as an intern, I applied to a large pharmaceutical company. On part of the application form, you had to enter the code of the department you were applying to.
What I *should have* put down was "IT", which is the department that houses all their devs. However, I didn't actually read any of what the codes meant, assumed that was the department for helping people with how to mail merge, and put down "COMPSCI" instead. This was computational sciences - loosely summarised as computational data analysis on various druggable molecules.
I do *not* have any sort of biology or chemistry background, so the interview was rather... interesting, and I muddled through on the basis of getting some more interview practice assuming it was a no go.
To my amazement, got a phone call saying that they'd been thinking they wanted someone more technical on the team, and despite my lack of scientific experience they thought I'd be a good fit. I was unsure as to whether I should accept for a while, but then decided to just go for it - and had a fantastic internship there, working on a great variety of stuff, and learning tons all under a supervisor who I'm still in touch with to this day.
tl;dr - Applied for the wrong job. Coincidentally got it anyway, and miraculously had a fantastic year working there.8 -
when your boss tells you they hired you just to save money, and the job should actually be done by a team of intermediate/senior devs, but they thought one junior dev could do it in the same time span4
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Customer is always right.....
Committed to sustainable productivity..
Misunderstanding between the IT Department Staff member and the Finance Department Staff member in one of the establishments...
User: Hi, our printer is not working.
IT Service: What is wrong with it?
User: The mouse is jammed.
IT Service: Mouse? Are you sure it’s a printer, as they don’t come with a mouse?
User: Do you think I’m stupid? I’m telling you it’s the printer!
IT Service: I'm telling you, it can’t be the printer! They don’t have a mouse!
User: Oh really?... Mmmmm... I’ll send you a picture.
Scroll down...
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The customer is always right.
Listen to him/her and believe what he/she says.
Don’t jump into conclusions!12 -
A quick note about node.js security.
Decompiled Discord, a widely used chat app. Found 5 vulnerabilities (that are now reported.) Why? Severely outdated dependencies.
Cloned Mattermost, a business communication app like Slack, but open source, and (from their site) the Department of Defense uses it. Found 10 vulnerabilities (that are now reported.) Why? Severely outdated dependencies.
I get that some versions conflict, and in a fast moving enviroment, that is a huge risk - but update your damn dependencies.14 -
Someone replied to the Christmas party invitation using REPLY ALL... his family personal details sent to hundreds of people. Wait, it gets even worse: he works in the SECURITY DEPARTMENT.6
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!rant.
I've worked for about two months at my (first) job. Its amazing.
We create audio/video software for the products we make.
There are 9 programmers besides me, I'm the only junior. And I'm still learning my way around the code, but they still value my input.
We only do stand ups for 5-10 min, like it should.
One if my colleagues helps me often when I have questions, so I've nicknamed him ducky.
My pm is awesome, he's great at coding and a great manager.
When we work overtime, the department pays for delivery food and drinks.
And we've already gone on 2 trips with the department, mountain biking and a BBQ.
I love my job and I hope that I'll soon be good enough to ask less questions.3 -
I've been doing programming as a hobby since I was 10 years old, I've always found my teachers are good at IT but not that good in Computer Science and programming, this year a new teacher joined the IT department who has actual experience in programming etc.
Our school uses two services, a rewards system which for some reason can also show our timetable, and another service for displaying our homework. In my spare time I made a project which combined these two services and showed it to him. As the first teacher with actual programming experience he was impressed and now I get to 'pitch' my project to the teachers higher up.
TLDR; It's good to have a good teacher -
Sooooo me and the lead dev got placed in the wrong job classification at work.
Without sounding too mean, we are placed under the same descriptor and pay scale reserved for secretaries, janitors and the people that do maintenance at work(we work for a college as developers) whilst our cowormer who manages the cms got the correct classification.
The manager went apeshit because the guidelines state that:
Making software products
Administration of dbs
Server maintenance and troubleshooting
Security (network)
And a lot of shit is covered on the exemption list and it is things that we do by a wide fucking margin. The classification would technically prohibit us from developing software and the whole it dptmnt went apeshit over it since he(lead developer) refuses (rightfully so) to touch anything and do basically nothing other than generate reports.
Its a fun situation. While we both got a substantial raise in salary(go figure) we also got demoted at the same time.
There is a department in IT which deals with the databases for other major applications, their title is "programmers" yet for some reason me and the lead end up writing all the sql code that they ever need. They make waaaaay more money than me and the lead do, even in the correct classification.
Resolution: manager is working with the head of the department to correct this blasphemy WHILE asking for a higher pay than even the "programmers"
I love this woman. She has balls man. When the president of the school paraded around the office asking for an update on a high priority app she said that I am being gracious enough to work on it even though i am not supposed to. The fucking prick asked if i could speed it up to where she said that most of my work I do it on my off time, which by law is now something that I cannot do for the school and that she does not expect any of her devs to do jack shit unless shit gets fixed quick. With the correct pay.
Naturally, the president did not like such predicament and thus urged the HR department(which is globally hated now since they fucked up everyone's classification) to fix it.
Dunno if I will get above the pay that she requested. But seeing that royal ammount of LADY BALLS really means something to me. Which is why i would not trade that woman for a job at any of my dream workplaces.
Meanwhile, the level of stress placed my 12 years of service diabetic lead dev at the hospital. Fuck the hr department for real, fuck the vps of the school that fucked this up royally and fuck people in this city in general. I really care for my team, and the lead dev is one of my best friends and a good developer, this shit will not fucking go unnoticed and the HR department is now in low priority level for the software that we build for them
Still. I am amazed to have a manager that actually looks out for us instead of putting a nice face for the pricks that screwed us over.
I have been working since I was 16, went through the Army, am 27 now and it is the first time that I have seen such manager.
She can't read this, but she knows how much I appreciate her.3 -
When I was 10 years old, all kids at my school got access to school emails. The email address book contained everything in my city, like fire department, all pupils of all schools etc. So I decided to "test" the system by sending out a mass email to everyone in the address book (about 3k) with the question "Hi, how are you?".
The sys admins apparently didn't think very far as I got some responses saying like "You have crashed a server in the capital city" and "I have contacted your local IT admin".
So I went to the IT admin and told him the situation. His face turned red of anger and I remember him almost screaming at me.
Who the fuck doesn't set up protection for this and gives out access to 10 year olds? This was 15 years ago, I really hope sys admins are smarter today!6 -
From the director of the department within a large investment bank: "We will be looking into converting all Java code to Cobol because it is easier to work with".
Needless to say I started looking for a new job that night.6 -
I work for my highschool's IT department (the money I earn goes directly towards my tuition), here is a picture of my workstation. It's a Lenovo ThinkCentre, it has an Intel i5-6500 vPro, 4GB of RAM and runs Debian 9.4.16
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So I was applying for a research position in linguistic department, and had the interview today.
Prof: So you know excel right
Me: (show a project to him to prove I at least know csv file)
Prof: Ok so you know excel.
Me: Yeah kinda.
Prof: Ok that's good. Cuz right now we are using amazon Turk, and the data they returned, which are excel files, are not really the way we want it.
Me: Ok sounds like a parser can fix it......
Prof: Yeah.... the students in the lab are doing it manually now
(Dead silence)
Prof: Ok move onto next matter7 -
Mgr: Do a talk about that library you're using.
Me: Sure but I'm just learning about it now maybe when I have a better understanding of it.
One week later.
Mgr: I booked a department wide mandatory lunch and learn this Friday for your presentation.3 -
Dear recruiters,
if you are looking for
- Java,Python, PHP
- React,Angular
- PostgreSQL, Redis, MongoDB
- AWS, S3, EC2, ECS, EKS
- *nix system administration
- Git and CI with TDD
- Docker, Kubernetes
That's not a Full Stack Developer
That’s an entire IT department
Yours truly #stolen10 -
So the battery of our YouBot died, and since it's deprecated we had to ask the EE department to manufacture one for us. When a member of my group asked them for the custom battery last year, it took them 5+ weeks to get it.
Today I went there, and threatened the engineer to cry daily outside his room until it's ready. He already ordered the parts and said I will have it assembled by Tuesday.
I am totally in love with the terrifying effect a crying female has over male engineers.17 -
And it is official: I am not a project manager anymore.
My Boss has just created a new Automation department of which I am the only employee. So, now, I am an Automation Engineer.
More tools, maybe code and almost no contact with clients anymore. But I am gong to miss a few of them. :)2 -
Okay, just because I'm the only one under 35, single, and only white/hispanic guy on this team doesn't give you the right to interrupt me mid sentence IN my meeting. No disrespect to the developers from India and this may just be a culture conflict where I am outnumbered in my company but I don't understand the how some of these guys can't just be polite or respect others opinions(this is just from my experience with 90 or so developers from India and I don't believe in blanketing all Indians as this way just these 90 plus I do love the food).
Don't hijack MY meeting and then completely derail where I was going and disregard my solution without listening to the whole thing for an idea that isn't even solution but adds more work for both parties involved. You may have been working here for 5 years, but I worked in the actual department where we're building the new process and solution to a problem I've worked on. I understand the user since I WAS ONCE THAT USER for a good 8 months. And on top of that you can barely code efficient, or complex SQL statements. You're nothing more than fucking script kiddies and this whole IT department is joke. I apologize if the rant isn't really that coherent, I'm not very good at typing rants with my adrenaline running hot.14 -
TL;DR Setup computer for new guy @ office, he got mad about software he was missing that we weren't told he needed, so he complained to the director above our department and got us in trouble.
I work for a small company, in which the I.S. Department is 8 people (Manager Included). We do everything from setting up computers and fixing printer problems to writing custom software for in-house use. Kind of a "Renaissance Department" if you will.
So a few weeks ago we were asked to set up a computer for a brand new user, meaning he would need email setup, a domain account, etc. We were also given a (very) small list of programs he would need to do his job. No problemo, took me 30 minutes, and he was good to go.
Last week I met the guy because he was training at the general office and his training computer lacked a few tools. Since I was called to remedy that situation, I introduced myself, told him if he ever had any problems to let me know and I would get him fixed up.
Now today, 5/5/2017, 15 seconds after walking into the door of the department, I am pulled aside by my boss and asked if I setup up the new guys desktop, to which I proudly replied yes. Come to find out the (very) small list of tools we were told he needed was incomplete, so he was missing stuff (how the fuck were we supposed to know that). So what does the new fuck do? HE COMPLAINS TO A DIRECTOR ABOVE OUR DEPARTMENT SAYING THE IT GUYS DIDN'T SETUP HIS COMPUTER PROPERLY! Like holy shit dude, why not send me a fucking email like you did before telling me you needed stuff? I would have GLADLY fucking helped. Now I hope your computer catches on fire. Or you get fired. I'll take either one.2 -
!rant
Observed a full deployment the other day and discovered it's extremely inefficient. I proposed an idea to fix it, and was shot down by a senior dev on the team. I was ranting about how asinine the process was and how my process could reduce the amount of time and training required to do deployments with out any additional cost or overhead. A senior dev from another department over heard me, found my workspace and told me (in a nutshell), "write up a document about why the current process is garbage and how yours is better, and how it works, I'll review it and we'll get it worded and formatted right. When we finish the document, I'll forward it to the CTO of your department with your name on it and my recommendation for review." Fuck yeah. 😈😎7 -
So the Marketing department want me single handed recreate an app exactly like Alipay in 2 days? WTF? I told him that this is impossible ... he told me to "Use Template." He said he can even use wordpress to do it .
The problem is they need android app and ios , (nnon-webview)39 -
Client: I need a Website, You have "complete freedom" to choose an apt design, it should be professional and creative.
Designer: Ok.
~ Makes a top-notch Demo inspired from Apple Website ~
Client: It is not professional at all, you should use yellow color for header background. Matching the yellow in the logo, text should be in red. Use blue borders. "Make it more professional!"
Designer: Ok.
~ Client is King. Does exactly as client said ~
Client: Change the font of the website, use something like this (shows Monotype Corsiva). Reduce the image sizes to stamp size. Give a zoom effect to the headings. Increase the text font size to 16px.
Designer: Ok.
~ Client is King. Does exactly as client said ~
Client: Now it looks more professional!! You should hire me to your design department! And now, as I did the major design part you are only eligible for half the payment......
Designer: <<< what will you say? comment it below.. >>>11 -
I started a job as a developer on Monday for a large retail company. There was no computer available for me because of the IT department but I'm told it will arrive later in the day. It doesn't.
On Tuesday I get told that the PC is coming and later in the day a keyboard, mouse, monitor stand and two monitors arrive but no computer.
Today, Wednesday, I get into work and find that I now have a PC. Woo! I load windows, log into my user account with my new user and pass and go to install VSCode only to find that I don't have admin privileges and can't install almost anything. I'm told that IT will add me to the admin user group soon(tm). I wait. All day. They don't do what they are supposed to do despite us pushing them to do it.
I hope that tomorrow I can actually dev, but at least I've been paid three days wage for doing nothing lol
Anyone have any shitty IT department stories?12 -
I got a urgent call from a lead dev in another department. Needed data and services and her deadline was yesterday. I never heard of it, but worked late and got it done in 2 days. Delivery success, they had cake, speeches and praised my work apparently... I wasn't invited and didn't get any cake.5
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Went to an introductory session for the new version of the lousy CMS my organization uses and on the second slide of the presentation WRITTEN BY THE BIG BRITCHES OF THE IT DEPARTMENT they informed us that the CMS removes the necessity to learn languages for web programming like HTML, CSS, and Java. My first thought is "huh why would I need Java for... wait..." You could see the thoughts crossing my mind.
"Wait a minute... Who writes Java applets anymore? Java isn't.... but what if... no... they wouldn't..."
For the holy love of Bill, YOU ARE THE IT DEPARTMENT. Please don't tell me you misguided cactus-heads just mixed up JavaScript and Java on an official document you're using in presentations for everyone using the system? It hardly did anything to inspire overwhelming confidence. And even if it was handled by somebody whose entire job is to write PowerPoints for these things, who reviewed this thing? Dilbert's boss? And that wasnt even the only soul-scorching error. Sweet mother of Tux, people, I'm a student using your system, your professional presentations shouldn't make me cringe.3 -
So our IT-department decided it was a good idea to block all outgoing ports at my school. Resulted in no internet for a day. Then they fixed that and the mail part but I still can't connect to any of my servers with SSH :/14
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tldr: My school created 1000 Microsoft and Google accounts without our permission and we can't even use the services they provide.
A few days ago I ranted about our schools IT department blocking all outgoing ports.
A few days ago we also got Enterprise OneDrive accounts to store all our stuff, sound wonderful in theory.
The thing is OneDrive doesn't work without outgoing ports either...
So our School created both Microsoft and Google accounts in our names. This is against the law. You can't just register 1000 Google and Microsoft accounts in some else's name, like bruh wtf.16 -
Finally it was my turn to receive a call from the now infamous Indian "Windows Technical Support Department" from a spoofed out of service 1-888-425-6866 number. My wife and I are on vacation we had just gotten back from the beach and she was taking a shower so I had all the time in the world to play along with them. It is too long to type out but it was extremely entertaining especially the bits that happened after I finally informed them that I own a Mac. The final thing he told me on the phone before hanging up was to go fuck my sister and I felt I must have performed well to deserve that.6
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OH FOR HEAVENS SAKE!!!
*I* take care of my food in the department fridge, *NOT* you!
And start to fucking realize:
IT IS CALLED: "Best Before End"
and ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NOT: "Guaranteed To Be Deadly From"
Next time you throw away my perfectly fine food, I'll dig into the reflog, throw a dice and throw away 3 random commits of yours claiming that THEY EXPIRED!
YOU ARSE!5 -
My university has impeccable data management. I needed to ssh into their Linux server for an assignment but it refused to accept my login. Which was weird because I could login to the same account on one of our websites just fine. I typed my password into a text file and then copy and pasted it into both logins. The Linux one failed but the website succeeded. After some experimentation it turns out that the Linux server only recognized my username if I typed it in all lowercase, even though when I created the account it had uppercase characters as well.
So let me walk you through the sloppiness that had to have occurred for this to happen. When I first created the account it must have ignored what I entered and just saved the username in all lowercase without communicating that to me. Then the websites that use this account must either ignore case for usernames or lowercase the user input before querying the database. Finally, the Linux server, despite knowing that all the usernames are lowercase, is case sensitive and won't recognize the username as I originally typed it in.
Can you guess what department manages the account, website and Linux server? The Department of Computer and Information Science. Incredible.2 -
We were doing a project for uni in which we had to make a game in Java, we were on my department the night before working the last bits, it was working perfectly, until two hours until we had to turn it in, when I ran the code on IntelliJ it worked but the .jar file I exported didn't work and I didn't know why... I had to carry the my desktop PC I was working on because my laptop was broken at the time and we didnt have another computer on hand with IntelliJ and shit, I could swear I could see my friends laughing...
Two hours later from presenting the project I realized someone changed the file of a name from spritebatch1.png to Spritebatch1.png...
Changed it back, worked in an instant...
They were all behind me and started laughing like the best joke in the world was told...
I almost killed them all, but laughed along them afterwards...7 -
"Lawsuit Alleges Facebook Favors H-1B Visa Workers and Other Temporary Visa Holders over U.S. Workers"
And no one was surprised. Not that this will make a dent in the labor arbitrage problem, but at least it's evidentiary confirmation it's happening. If it goes through it'll likely mean a slough of follow-on lawsuits for the thousands of companies doing the exact same thing, and a cottage industry to find new creative ways to continue being predatory assholes.
https://justice.gov/opa/pr/...18 -
Its been 1 month and still no reply from my university IT department after i inforned them the login was transmitting usernames and passwords unencrypted over http and that the password field was case-insensitive for some fucking reason.
Might have to break out the sniffer and setup a script to automatically email them different students account details until they fix it, i should cc the dean 😂8 -
Where I work we develop drivers and command-line software for embedded systems. The contracts we have with our customers tend to be in the £100k-£500k range and are usually completed in 6 - 9 months; our team is made up of 20 developers. You would think that it would be worthwhile investing in the department. But no, instead we have to deal with >10 year old build servers on their last legs; limited numbers of development boards with wires soldered on so that we can keep up with new board revisions; no room for R&D into new products; and to top it all off, not one of the executives has a laptop on par with the placement students in the next department. It's like the company is trying to kill the department, we've seen our staffing dwindle with no new graduate (or higher) positions being made available in the last 3 years while we've lost at least 5 people to other places. I just don't get it!3
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New position at work. Lots of power in regards to tech stacks of my choice.
I feel like Neo.
First project was finished in a week using Clojure. A basic application that would automate the process of adding our students into a particular active directory system in which many other things happen at the same time including updates to pins and other shit as well as networking and wifi permissions. Works fast as fuuuuuuuuuck, the alternative existed(somewhat) in php and while there was nothing wrong other than speed I wanted to show the head of my department what i could do.
It was anticlimactic as fuck. I thought it was gonna take me longer. It fucking didn't and i am glad as shit. It is now working like an absolute powerhouse in its own environment and being monitored by the sys admins, they loved how easy it was to deploy and how well behaved it is.
The head of the department is impressed as fuck and the board of directors got a hold of it. Reason being that I am being displayed as some sort of wizard that used ancient alien tech in the 21st century.
Fuck yes, major win.
I also get to add Clojure to my resumee. Hod even said that if needed be they will rethink my salary to add the fact that i get to use this tech where no one else can.11 -
When you ask the IT-Department of a company collab with Microsoft, why you aren't allowed to use Firefox instead of IE.
The answer is: "It's insecure because it's open source"
YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME INSECURE ??? IT IS MORE SECURE AS IE!!! INSECURE BECAUSE OPEN SOURCE? THAN LET'S USE CHROME OR OPERA INSTEAD BUT NOT IE3 -
Since the beginning of this year our IT department has a new boss. He has no idea about IT, but worked with the other departments and CEO + management on an new business strategy. The other department bosses recogniced that this guy is stupid and only talking hot air, but not the CEO and management.
The IT part of the strategy is abstract and bullshit. The IT Team (we) was not included in building this. We only got the "finished" presented.
So our Team should integrate 6 big new systems (ERP, CRM,...) within 1,5 years. No system is actually fixed and the IT boss is only saying: "Its easy, just some interfaces to connect".
Nice additional: CEO says: Either we go with the strategy or we can leave the company.
My decision is made.4 -
You know what I envy Americans about? Your .gov domain.
It is so difficult here to detect if the website is honest or a scam because our government is too dense to put all their sites as subdomains of one trusted domain. Like dod.country.tld for the department of defense or justice.ministry.country.tld for the ministry of justice.
No, these idiots buy ministry-of-justice.tld, because no scammer ever could conceive the idea of buying ministryofjustice.tld to host a scam site.
At least publish an up2date list with domains I can trust.7 -
What the F**K? Why Marketing department always think they know better than IT Department? They always tell us "What so difficult to do this thing? You guys must have templates and change a few things!"
Let me give you some insight here, that this guy is the guy who buy website templates from programmers, change things and upload the site to Bluehost or Wordpress, That's all he do.
Our Software Archictect, colleagues and I personally went from "What the f***?" to "Are you f**king Kidding Me? "
Sometimes I just want to tell him this "Hey you mother f**ker, based on your f**king statement , why would you need programmers then? You guys can just buy the templates and change things".....
F**k you Marketing Department!5 -
Most fun I had as a dev?
I'd say it was when the whole it department decided to have an Easter egg competition xD the DBA's never did find out why one of our apps kept creating dummy users called LEEEEEROY JENKINS
One of my best achievements in development xD -
know what pisses me the fuck off? when the manager of another department jumps over me and goes straight to the head of my department for a request that they want from MY department.
Currently, there are 2 stupid bitches that insist on doing this fuckery. One of them keeps getting owned by our DBA since for whatever reason she sends her requests to me, just for the DBA to remind her that I ain't giving her access to shit and bla bla
The other is the head of the human resources department. It goes like this: sends wrong data, task gets delayed cuz we have to sort her shit, gets impatient, bitches at head of department and his boss about us taking long(bitch 3 hours ain't long and your shit ain't critical) just for me to reply back with images and LOOK FUCKTARD YOU MESS THIS UP red arrows showing how what she did was wrong and I had to fix it for her.
Sends a reply back only to me saying thanks, ah no pendeja, I will forward aaaaaaall of that shit to everyone else, tried throwing me under the bus? well now ima do it to you.
And fuck those 3 applications you requested, have fun adding shit manually through spreadsheets and then go eat shit and die.5 -
Funniest meeting ever!
Some years ago, there was the regular department meeting where useless news from upper management were handed down. The team I was in was also there: team lead, co-worker and me. The team lead had a new girl and was daydreaming of their nights, my co-worker wasn't quite back from the football match on the weekend, and I was playing chess on my mobile.
Department lead was blah blah blah and when can we do this on your rig? We looked at each other and instantly realised that none had been paying attention.
My co-worker was the fastest to recover and straight-facedly turned to me: "Well Fast-Nop, that's your domain."
I picked the ball up before team lead could say something: "Sure, but schedule appointment is for our lead."
Our lead couldn't contradict us and then had to negotiate a schedule while trying to find out what it was about. *LOL*2 -
You have to integrate company A system with company B.
You look up B`s api documentation, write the necessary code, test it thoroughly. Done
__________________________________
A wild dev from B has appeared!!!
------------------------------------------------------
him > you cannot use this SDK to implement this solution. You must use a different one...
You > (coming back to him after scouring through the docs) . Ok which sdk is it then? I can't find it anywhere. Could you send it to me pls?
him > I don't kbow, my knowledge doesn't go that far. Send an email to the dev department.
After sending the email, and spending a couple of days trying to figure out which sdk was he referring to. His department answers that the sdk you should use, is the one you already used. The only one they have.
A couple of days lost, because certain smart-ass could not refrain himself from meddling in the project.
What would you do?
Note: Killing him is out of the question :)8 -
Head of department: Do we have license key for ubuntu os on our systems?
Lab assistant: Yess!!
Everyone else: No!!! It is open source
*awkward silence*
HOD leaves without saying a word after that
😂😂😂4 -
I was impressed with my latest job interview in the government (got the job).
Applied online, and they extended the application deadline because the lack of quality of applications.
I got invited for an interview. Present there were HR manager, Department manager and an employee from the regional office (opening a new dev department in the region).
Most of the interview consisted of them telling me about the company, and asking a bit about me. Nothing technical.
1.5 month later I got a 2nd interview. Present were two developers from the main office in Oslo. Again, very little questions about my technical capabilities. Mostly just repeating the stuff said in the first interview. Though I did have to send some code in for review by them.
A month later I get a phone call from the department head saying they’d like to offer me a job, but they don’t have a concrete job offer yet, as it has to be approved by a committee (gov stuff). That takes two weeks, and I finally got job offer. 42% pay rise from the current job in the private sector.
I later went and re-read the ad for the job. “Bachelor/ master required. For particularly qualified applicants, this requirement can be ignored.”
Fascinating that they didn’t give me more tests.2 -
Worst. 2 am on campus, js file for a web app project. It didn't work, no exceptions thrown, no errors. I call the assistant teacher. He calls the teacher. Teacher calls the head of department. Four of us staring at the screen for an hour, trying different browsers, environments etc
3 am, switch cases had semicolons rather than colons. Sleepy coding is the worst.7 -
Head of IT department asked me to configure Apache from phpmyadmin. There occured 5 seconds of silence after he said that.6
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So, I recently picked up this book called "The Phoenix Project". I picked it up as I thought it was a project management text book. Turns out its a novel on how this Auto parts company's IT department broke down its silos and embraced DevOps. It's even framed as a thriller - the stakes always get higher! Extremely Exciting!
My Wife, kids and I listen to the audiobook as we drive and do errands every day. My Wife has gotten a very very frank understanding of what my job is like as a result.
I encourage everyone here to get a copy of the book. -
One of my friends works in NVIDIA and slwas previously a part of the graphics department where she worked on the rtx 3070 and briefly on 3080 card. The funny thing is she gets paid very low (SDE in India) and sadly her monthly salary is less than the price of either of the cards. While she is not keen on gaming, some of her mates are in a similar situation and just dream about buying it.
All I wanted to do was point out the irony wherein people who help make the thing themselves cant afford it.64 -
My mother lives and works overseas, and she'd complain about her IT department all the time.
Wish I could get work permit to work there, but I'd have to serve in 'their' military for 2 years...
Yeah, totally makes sense. Nope.5 -
Company President: No one needs to worry about losing their job due to COVID. We’re an essential business and won’t be effected.
48 hours later
IT Director: There have been severe budget cuts and we are letting go of the two highest salaried employees from every department. You are no longer employed.2 -
Tru story:
We have a folder that we keep as shared documentation known as Javascript And PHP Fuckery made by yours truly in which I added a bunch of fixes to fuckery written in those 2 languages by previous developers.
The entire department has access to those files(as in all of IT) and I have been commended by the head of our department for my determination and uncanny ability to spot fuckery and fix it.
He says that he "thoroughly enjoys my colorful mastery of language, sarcasm and cognitive imagery when dealing with documentation regarding the code horrors done by previous developers"
By cognitive imagery he said that he meant my thought process and that he wouldn't trust a developer that does not use this language.
Fucking killing it b.
I'll let y'all(as in youse) when I am done with my Book(if anyone here steals the idea of the title as js php fuckery i am gonna sue you)1 -
After 3 years of being the first in and last to leave, of getting other people's work reassigned to me - P can't complete it on time, G doesn't like the user, A refuses to work on that module, etc... I finally blew last Sept.
In the span of 2 days, my boss brought me into a project 1.5 years in (she doesn't trust P to do the coding) and expected me to be up to speed and coding in a couple of days, told the functional dept that I would cover for one of their guys on vaca for three weeks and assigned me to take over a HUGE project from one of the other functional guys who wasn't getting it done. So basically I'm now doing Ps job AND supporting another department AND taking control of a large project from another department. I'm the idiot working 14 hour days while they're all leaving on time or enjoying their 3 week vaca to India.
I lost it. It's bad enough filling in the gaps in my own department but when I'm now taking on work for other departments, that's where I draw the line. I sent my boss my resignation - just could not take the inequity in the work load.
I'm still working here - my boss ended up hiring a consultant to handle the functional project and told the functional group to find their own vacation coverage. She's also monitoring workloads much closer now. I still habe an ongoing issue with having to complete other peoples work for them but I'm not working OT to do it. So speaking up helps. So does quitting.2 -
At my previous job I used to deal directly with a client. This client wasn't particularly tech savvy although he was the head of IT department.
During the beta testing phase of the project. The client would regularly send me emails with snapshots of his laptop with application open accompanied by some amount of text to explain what the error/problem he was facing.
One fine day I got an email with a very wierd error. It was a module for attendance of employees based on which salaries were calculated. The mail had a snapshot and some text saying that he was unable to see the attendance for the dates 22, 23, 24 and so on...
I immediately replied with a snapshot of the calendar highlighting the date, which was the 21st of the month. Those attendance are empty because they haven't been marked yet.
No reply untill the next day with more "errors" 😂2 -
So they took away our offices in favour of an open layout. This would have been fine if it was just us 3 devs and the manager, but we're sharing a space with network techs, help desk, the manager's secretary and an Accounts department all with little to no separation.
I'm now in the midst of incessant ringing of phones, idle chatter and raucous laughter with nowhere to retreat to for silence; I have no idea how/when I'm going to get any work done now. 😥😞
The organisation I work for is a f**king joke when it comes to management making any kind of logical decision.12 -
After working 3 years in my current job and my boss hating anything to do with unit testing etc, I used my spare time to refactor our Makefiles to allow for the creation of unit and integration tests. I technically didn't tell my boss about it, so my heart was in my throat when he Skyped me with 'what did you change in ...'?
After having bashed any workflow with testing in it, I showed him the new workflow and automatic testing in Jenkins and he was actually enthousiastic, just like all other employees! I was hailed a hero in the R&D department, after all this time we can finally write universal tests. :D9 -
Found this on Quora today :
Programming isn't sexy at all. In a club, try picking up a girl by telling her your heroic tale of saving an entire department by rewriting a recursive function to take advantage of a feature in the new server Intel chips to scale up their online orders.
Then tell me how it goes.4 -
My boss is the head of IT.
I am the head of software, I have nothing todo with user rights in our software, this is head of IT things...
So my boss is gone, holiday.
User T calls in: Hey, I need rights for finance software X. Now.
Me: Yeah, my boss is gone for good, which rights exactly you need?
T: I don't know. Give me admin rights.
Me: I am not going to do that.
T: I will call my boss (head of her department, same level as my boss). He will tell you to do that.
Me: I will not listen to him, he don't decide about rights. IF you talk to the head of finance and he tells me you can have admin rights in the finance software, I could give it to you. Let him write a email to me about it.
T: Okay.
2 Minutes later.
Email, Head of finance: Hey Wasseratem, I don't decide for rights for the finance software X, normaly Head of IT does that.
(CC to T)
Email back: Yeah, he is gone, he will be back in 2 days, then he can decide.
Email from Head of Department of T: Give T admin rights. now.
Email back, CC Head of Department of T, Head of finance: No I will not do that (etc. explain why)
What the fck is T joking me?
Now She will not get any rights for thursday even when she will walk into my office with a gun.3 -
Am I the only one who finds this idea ridiculous?
Github’s marketing department is jumping the shark by storing most popular repos in Svalbard mines.
https://archiveprogram.github.com
Please do not archive nodejs for future civilizations! It increases their risk of dying out, as we did by wasting fossil energy on node_modules.4 -
Today I delivered the beta of my first product to the customer. The customer is only a different department within my company, but I'm still proud of what I've built. This project was of my own design and vision and it actually landed me the position I'm in today. Now I sit back and wait for feedback as they tear it apart and find out what works for them.2
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Starting to get really pissed off with the hierarchy in my department that my manager keeps insisting ‘doesn’t exist’ but it clearly does when the other team manager is her best friend, to the point where they go on holiday together, go to each others family parties, etc.
Manager goes on holiday for two weeks and other TL gets on her high fucking horse lording over my team and uninviting me from meetings that she thinks I ‘don’t need to be in’ when the majority of the project is mine..
But my manager hasn’t appointed a deputy.....7 -
Most successful project? Probably a little tool I built to practice programming and to help with my studies in a completely different field. I didn't want to keep it all for myself and shared it with some friends at the university. I would never have expected that a couple of weeks later almost every student at our department will be using it but I'm quite happy I could help them too.
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I am currently blocked from doing my job by a firewall policy handed down from corporate that prevents WSL2 from connecting to the internet. Three days of no dev environment and counting.
We make linux software to be hosted on linux in linux containers in linux. We use linux command line tools to make it work.
"NO! WE ARE THE ALL-POWERFUL IT DEPARTMENT AND YOU MUST USE WINDOWS BECAUSE FUCK YOU THAT'S WHY."14 -
Any type of creativity what so ever. Whenever I have to design anything my mind kinda just goes blank.
Most of the sparetime I actually want to program is spend not programming because I'm not a very creative person.
Pic related, it's my webshite. Would like to make it nice, but I have very little in the department of creative talent 😭4 -
Wearing neck ties wears me out.
I seriously don't see the point of IT department having to wear ties...5 -
At my holiday job, I had to call the IT department about a printing issue. They solved it very quickly. Fucking magicians man, how they did it? No fucking clue!5
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I was underpaid and doing a job I didn't really like, I stuck with it for 6 months and told my boss about it. He didn't do anything about it. Our head of department told us at a meeting that as a young professional, you own your career path. I quit the following month and all of a sudden, my boss was ready to listen to him. I told him it was too late, I own my career path and this isn't good for it.
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Some IT person is walking to the marketing department coffee machine because one on IT is broken.
While waiting for his coffee he yells:
I want a enormous rack!
All the women instantly hide, and one guy say. “You cannot say that here!”
IT guy looks surprised and wondering what he said wrong.... -
The reporting department had a freak out because they couldn’t print to PDFs. Whole reporting nightmare and on fire.
Turns out it was printer unplugged a thousand miles away where someone fifteen years ago put a check in to ensure that a specific printer was connected before allowing physical print jobs.3 -
My university IT department fucking sucks. Nothing ever works, 90% of the website links 404 or just straight up are broken af4
-
Before the lockdown, we regularly had our client's testers in our office to evaluate the prototypes of potential features.
Some of them would just be left on their own with the software and tell is their experience afterwards. The Application is tested on our machines while the Testers are taking notes on their devices.
So one of the testers suddenly told us she had a "non application-related, general technical problem".
Well it turned out that she selected some text in the application running on our machine, then right-clicking and copied it and then unplugged her USB-Mouse, plugged it in on her Laptop and wondered, why she couldn't paste the text.
Since then, my respect for our UX department grew enormously since we very rarely get complaints.4 -
Never NEVER accept friend request from other area.
A guy from the sales department sent me 10 messages through Facebook to give priority to him because he is my friend.
S**k it Manolo.3 -
Our main server that stores everything and that everyone uses has been down for about an hour now. It's okay though I get paid by the hour. Plus, I'm working remotely today.
Probably doesn't help that we let other people other than the IT department mess with what we put on the server.1 -
My job sends out emails with things like "You won a prize!" In the subject line with embarrassingly vague reasons to click the links in the email. If you do, the links take you to a site where they slap your wrists for clicking an unknown link and teach you about the dangers of phishing.
It's fake spam. Ironically enough, though, it's the ONLY spam I ever get. It's more annoying than real spam because it never gets blocked by the system like an actual phishing attack would...
It is driving me crazy having to delete these stupid messages every day and they're clogging up my otherwise clean inbox! I don't even know who to contact about this bullshit because they're so "haha we got you!" about it, there's no department claiming responsibility. They're creating their own spam trying to prevent spam. What the hell?9 -
My boss just called me and asked to write a email informing our clients to not to download the update we pushed this very evening because Application is crashing when you will open that particular page.
What went wrong? One of our senior Developer, let's call him Mr. X, is totally against of testing the app before deploying it to clients. He believes that as i have created the application, i know exactly what to change to accomplish a requested feature or bug in application.
When a ticket assigned to him about a bug in the application, he simply make some changes in code, create the package and send it to test department. How do I know? He even boast it in front of us.
Most of the time it works but not every time like today. And I am pretty sure my boss is not going to ask a explanation about this to him.
I have great respect for him. It's okay to have confidence but testing before sending it to anybody will not make you junior. Will it? Being a senior You are making others to be careless about his job.
That's what happen today. Mr. X failed so does the testing department. So am I. I am the head of testing department as well.
I am not blaming him. I just cant. It was our job to test app thoroughly. I am feeling pretty bad now. His confidence made me vulnerable. Say his confidence made me clearly a fool. Lesson has been learned though.2 -
Place: Microsoft, Visual Studio department
Boss: we need to make beautiful changes, and make the development process more simple and beautiful.
Employee 1: let's arrange error messages to be more readable.
Boss: no, I don't need any details of error, just say there is an error.
Employee: But..
Boss: This is genius, do it now.
Me: 😭2 -
My worst experience ... and best, was when the company I worked for sent me to teach OOAD to the faculty of the Mathematics and Computer Science department of a University in Pennsylvania. There I was, a guy with no degree teaching a group of PhD's the fundamentals of OOAD. Imposter Syndrome? You bet. Nervous? Yes. My mouth felt like it was filled with cotton, and when I picked up a cup of water on the first day, I had to put it back down because my hands were shaking so badly. I could handle a room full of developers, but for me, this was a whole other league. As it turned out, the professors had a blast, and gave me great reviews, but that first day of a five day class was a doozy. After that, I knew I could handle anything.3
-
"We want you to take over the IT department, but we also want to assign projects to your team without your knowledge."1
-
My department bought a new monitoring monitor because the old one was broken.
Actually it wasn't, someone just unplugged the power cabel. *facepalm*3 -
So today I was asked by another department in my company to help them make a logo. They have meetings they have named Pulse (stupid healthcare.) So I made them a logo of the word Pulse with a red ekg then a long line after as if it was flat lining. I hope they either don't get it or get it and never ask me for such things again.
-
My coworker (the safety officer of our department) came into my cubicle today and after standing there a few minutes with his phone out, I asked him what he was doing. He responded by saying "I noticed theres a Caterpie in your cubicle. As the safety officer, it is my duty to remove it, as it is causing a tripping hazard". I thanked him and we both went back to what we were doing.
-
Not work but
Years ago when i was in middle school i wanted to mess with the school computers a bit so i made a desktop shortcut for shutdown and changed the name and icon to google chrome.
The person in charge of the it department freaked out and thought some kind of a massive virus infected everything.
Long story short turns out they had an event logger installed, figured out it was me and what i did...
I nearly got expelled 😑2 -
> Old job does away with working from home
> Half the department of ~100 quits within 3 weeks
It's almost as if IT people want to work from home 🤔🤔🤔4 -
When they announce a new feature in a video that goes live today, but the feature isn't build yet. It isn't build yet because they never told the IT department that it should go live today. So now I'm stuck hotfixing it.1
-
Colleague just found out that redislabs silently truncates passwords to 20 characters. Naturally our development department was horrified. It also explains why we couldn't access our account anymore. Who would even come up with such a thing?1
-
Hello winter depression. I showed up at work at 3pm. I should write a concept for restructuring our IT department. But I'm surrounded by people who have the misconception that design is just making things pretty. And they laugh at the idea to conduct user interviews to improve the situation. It's expected that I finish this until two weeks. Because thats when my contract ends. Job hunt starts again. I lost my motivation for everything. Let me be 😕4
-
Colleague from other department : Hey man I don't think my laptop can access to my company mail do you think you can fix it?
Me, newly working as an application programmer : Nah sorry man, perhaps you could ask that technician by the server room. He will know more hardware than I do.
Colleague : But aren't you also an IT specialist?
Me : Did you just assume my occupation? -
PM : Develop this new feature. Client needs it tomorrow. And be sure it works perfectly well.
Dev : haha how can it work without bug if it's developed in a day ?
Poor dev got transferred to support department :(4 -
So this is my first rant but I have to rant about this because I can’t take it anymore.
So I have a manager that has build the department we are in from an application he built that takes care of department metrics. I work for an ISP for a technical support department that takes care of the metrics and tools that they use to troubleshoot(not to mention that I work mostly with shitty legacy code). When I first got into the team There was no version control, no way to actually measure our work and no actual structure on anything. So when I came in I implemented TFS and GIT, so now we have at least that. The problem is that when my manager decided it would be a good idea to implement agile/ Kanban development in my team, he also decided that a methodology that was proven to work was not enough. So he started adding a bunch of useless and annoying rules on top of that methodology. Some of those rules were for example we don’t use tasks, we use backlog items as tasks and each backlog item has to take minimum of 15 minutes and maximum of 2 days to get completed, if it takes you longer you have to split it into chunks like part A and part B etc. Same thing for features which don’t represent features but represent projects which can’t be greater than 2 weeks and then Epics which can’t be greater than 2 months. But also you can only put in TFS stuff that is related to projects and nothing else. So not all the work you do is accounted in there but yet it will be used for your overall performance at the end of the year. It’s fucking wack and I can’t wait to move out of there, the environment is pretty toxic. It feels like everyone in our team except the one ass licker is just dead inside and no one gives a shit anymore. And that is what happens when you try to make a proven working thing into something “better” when you know nothing about it.2 -
FUCK MY LIFE!
MY DEPARTMENT IS IN SEARCH OF 3 PYTHON DEVS (1 expert, 2 "normal") FOR DEVELOPING AUTOMATIC THINGS!!! I would seriously apply because it's like my first dev job without having attended University.
But only for two years... After that I have to reapply for my old job.. but it's two (expert 3) salary groups up from mine...
What to do?
Also fuck python but I would learn it for God's sake19 -
(I'll give some context before the rant: I'm part if the IT department of a manufacturing company (actually I'm 1/2 of the department), and all the applications (old an new - except the ones used on production line) used in the company are my responsibility, that including most of databases too... Also, English isn't my native language so there will be some words or phrases that I'll probably write wrong... Sorry for that, if there are any corrections, I'll be glad to hear them)
So...
There will be an implementation of new "control point" on the "shipping department" which consists on a electromechanical equipment controlled by a PLC. And despite the original concept was a collaboration between 2 departments (we, IT, and Production Control), I was never taken in consideration about anything of the project... To be fair, I forget about its existence until two weeks ago.
So, a few days I learned that there are a huge delay regarding the original deadline (mainly because the supplier was delayed with the delivery of their system), and since two weeks (less, actually, because some holydays in between) I'm learning how to integrate that "P.o.S" into an existing application on a PC using a serial communication (not the main problem, as I've done that before... With another brand of PLC's) while avoiding buying any additional software (to get the communication done and in a easy way) and that sort of things... But discovering in the process that it will be necessary to acquire such additional SW in order to finish the job ASAP.
When suddenly I get the "news" that it's almost all my duty (and responsibility) to meet the original deadline, because it doesn't matter how the other departments screw all the schedule, it's the job of IT to get the shit done in time... And what is worst: they didn't said that in such straight manner, no, the implied it while making a quick test with the general manager.
I mean, WTF? Besides doing a "respectable" number of "user support" activities in a dialy basis, I also need to manage the activities of other departments? And also fix their screw ups on a schedule that I just learned days before?
And also there is a coworker (one of whom screwed up) that, almost every time she see me, is asking "how much until you'll finish?"
As I read on a meme years ago: "please, give patience, because if you give strength, I'll need bail money too..."
Damn... I don't know of the benefits of this work are worth all this nonsense -
Printer strikes again!
Boss is pissed off that the printer is not working for him but works for the accounting department. He slammed the "photocopy cover thingy" with a "putain" (which I doubt will make it work). I had told him multiple times last week that the credentials he entered is wrong and he needs to verify that first. He will hopefully eventually realise it. Till then
Printer: 01
Human: 002 -
Back when SharePoint was still foreign to me, and I didn't know the pain of administrating it, I had the idea that files were copied to my local machine. I saw no need to preserve backups from before I started, especially since they already existed on the server, so I got rid of them.
Also hooked up to SharePoint was an email handler. Whenever a case was created or deleted, an email went out to the entire department. Guess what happened when I deleted 250,000 records?
Fortunately, SharePoint has a recycle bin. Unfortunately, restoring those files generated another 250,000 emails. To the whole department.
I bought many donuts to appease the crowd baying for my blood.2 -
Okay, so there's this thing I've noticed. Whenever I find another job the old job suffers very hard very soon. So far there were these cases:
- goes bancrupt wthn a month after I left
- the department gets closed due to reorganisation next week after I left
- a sinkhole opens up right under the 14 stores building I left 2 months ago
- and today... 10 minutes before I go to a job interview on my lunch break prod db pulls a failed-hdd-and-all-data-is-now-lost stunt...
Every single workplace I've left suffered a lot. Is this some kind of a superpower? Can I fight evil with it? Should I put it on my cv? Should I let my manager know...? Or ask for a raise? :D6 -
I'm working on a banking app (Android) and I thought: "This is a bank. An important one. They will surely have a good IT department! It will be a joy to work with them"...
Never have I been so wrong!3 -
!rant
Super awesome day today.
1. Got up early to do a risky production deploy and it worked!
2. Three PRs approved before lunch.
3. Got some time to continue learning scala.
4. Coffee and cupcakes with some refugees and discussed work as a software engineer.
5. Tried virtual reality for the first time. Really fun.
6. Helped prepare our goals for this quarter and present them to the department.
7. Department meeting had free local craft beer and pretzels.
8. Went bouldering after work and flashed a 6c.
9. Curled up with my wife watching Netflix.
I really love my life sometimes.5 -
Once in a while I feel like Big Head on Silicon Valley when he was at Hooli. Guess it is not the worst thing. Maybe they will promote me to the moonshot department.
Maybe some day I will get his type of buyout. -
So some asshole keeps sending phishing emails to every student and prof in our university and the IT department is too pathetic to block it. They all come from the same email and contain the same text yet they cant filter it and just send warnings not to click it.
Im getting sick of recieving 5 of these a day, i scanned and viewed the page and its just a simple form copying the outlook login page with a redirect to the actual page after submission.
Whats the easiest way to write a script that will spam them with thousands of fake accounts? How can i fuck with these guys?7 -
Poor Mr. Squishy working as a window stopper, since some clever folks at the property management department, after months of nagging to get blinds so that the light reflected doesn’t interfere with my (light in general, not direct sunlight).
They installed the blinds in front of the window, so it can only be opened a few centimetres… Well done! Well done! I have to choose, either slightly warmer air than I prefer, or bothersome light reflection in all of my monitors.23 -
Figured I'd post for some advice here and see if anybody has had previous experience or success with a situation like this.
My team is generally comprised of full-stack developers completing front-end custom work on sites, writing back-end tools, and fixing broken sites. We are a rapid-response DEV team, and we typically turn around any custom requests in less than 5 days and fix any broken sites on the same day as they were reported. We manage almost 15,000 sites across multiple countries, and deal with very large corporations that many of you interact with every day (I'm trying to be cryptic here hahaha.) There are 16 of us on our team, and we are the only DEV team within our department of 500+ people. We are also the only DEV team taking requests from these 500+ people. The way the department works, we are the final say on whether a specific piece of custom work will get completed or not, and we are the go-to people when anybody has a question about our system infrastructure or if our system can accommodate a request, along with how to fix any broken pieces of our platform. We typically get about 150 requests per day. Lately, the entire team has become unhappy with our compensation for the work we do. We're quite underpaid, and they keep giving us more responsibilities without any sort of extra compensation. We've discovered that there are a large amount of non-developers below us that are getting paid more than we are. We've found that we get paid about $15,000 less than a comparable DEV team in a different department (let's call that team DEV_2,) just because of which department our team exists within, and how our department defined our job back when this position was created a few years ago. Ever since the position was created, our team's responsibilities have exponentially increased. We believe that there is absolutely no reason that an entry-level position below us should get paid just as much, or even more in some cases, than a developer. Of course, we're not asking to pay them less. Instead, we've decided that we're going to bring this up with our manager and schedule a meeting with him, our Department Director, and Human Resources, and voice that we believe that we should be on the same payscale as the comparable DEV_2 in the other department.
To be a good developer on our team, you need to not only have coding expertise, but also an encyclopedic knowledge of what you can do within our platform without any coding. You need this knowledge so you can pass it along to any people in positions below you, in case they didn't know that something could be done without custom code.
We're going to argue that if it weren't for our team, the company would be losing millions of dollars in clients, because people wouldn't have anybody to go to for platform infrastructure questions, broken websites, or custom work. Instead, they would need to send these requests to the DEV_2 team, which currently take about 6 months to turnaround requests. Like I said, we are a rapid-response DEV team, and these particular clients think that a 5 day turnaround time is ridiculous. If they had to wait 6 months for their request to be completed, they would cancel their contracts.
Not to mention the general loss of knowledge if the members of our team went to a different department, which would be catastrophic for our current department. Believe me, this department could not function without this DEV team. If we all went on vacation for a week, the place would be on fire by the time we got back, and many clients would be lost.
Do any of you have any experience with a situation like this, and if so, how did it turn out? Thank you!5 -
Just because my title has "Web" in it, doesn't mean I signed up to solve all your marketing analytics issues - there's a whole department for that stuff! 😡
-
Hey devs, really need some help here. This is driving me crazy...
We're currently taking issues from the company via mail. We've got a group mail that goes to the three of us at the IT department. Problem is, colleagues just forward customers emails without event trying to help, which means that we get stupid issues like "I can't sign in", and no further information. We're currently using Jira, and I was thinking perhaps we can set up a Jira Service Desk? Then we could have an internal help desk where issues could be submitted, and require some important fields, and perhaps add a checklist. Have you had any experience with Service Desk? Do you think it would be a good idea to have a "normal" person have an account there as well to filter out the normal "Have you tried restarting your computer" stuff? Is it suited for non-developers?
Any other ideas?
Yeay, messy question, but I'm fucking desperate...6 -
The IT department at my school doesn't know anything on Ubuntu or even Linux for that matter.
I asked them how I could connect to the WiFi on Ubuntu, cause I couldn't connect and they just said there was nothing they could do.
After that I spend two days to figure out how to connect and finally I got it working.
Next time I don't ask if they can help. I just ask for the settings and do it myself...1 -
I saw a rant about some department still using win98, and it reminded me, when I was in school the school library used MS-fucking-DOS, windows 10 was already out by that time...
The librarian lady was really surprised I even knew what it was, which meant she knew it was fucking ancient2 -
oh FFS my university pissed me off so bad right now that I had to wait 20 min to cool down to be able to write a rant about it...
so, one of the university department offer an email address which is the official university approved email for student packs like jetbrain's. I wanted to renew my jetbrains subscription, but for that I have to get a verification email on that address..
But since the only time I use it is this annual renewal I dont know the webmail's url..
So I search for it on the department pages, services and its nowhere to be found. Finaly I found it on a student maintained wiki page.
I try to log in.. no luck. try another password, still not it. Try all of the passwords that I remember using in the previous 3 year and no luck.
well fck it the password change is managed by a website where I can log in with a different method, so I change the password and try to log in again.
No fcking luck! And at this point I bashed my head against the wall because I found out that the password change takes them about 1 or 2 hours... hours! wtf...5 -
So I'm working our remote build/testing server, and all of a sudden my computer just turns off. No crash message, no error, just turned off. My co-worker tries to help troubleshoot the problem.
Nothing.
I take the computer downstairs to the hardware department. They plug it in and it starts no problems.
After it finishes updating, I take it back upstairs and plug it back in.
Nothing.
I suggest that it is the power cable, and my co-worker looks under his desk. Turns out he had kicked the switch on the surge protector. 😑1 -
Managed to keep the IT department happy... made friends there, getting amazing stuffs at request right at my desk2
-
Epic code fight broke out today when one developer fronted himself for leader due to having beat all the metrics by a factor of ten. Claimed he could replace the entire department based on LOC alone.
Another developer told him to fucking zip it.
After almost coming to blows someone managed to explain to him that he had to put his code into a compressed archive.
As it compressed to ten times smaller than the next smallest contribution he declared victory because his compressed better. Another developer joked better call bomb squad.6 -
I'm trying to bring some structure to the IT department, but I need help with something. I'm on my feature branch for some front-end stuff. I realize that there is some back-end missing that my colleague must do. How should we go about tackling this? Should he create another feature branch, fix the things, merge to master, and then i can merge from master?6
-
Really sad in 2016 when I have to teach an assistant manager and her underling in a different department about PEMDAS.
We deal with excel on a daily basis and the math always follows that. Had to explain in very simple steps how it works. Then was asked what an exponent was. *weapons grade face palm*6 -
Me: * gets into work in a surprisingly good mood for a Monday *
Coworker: " hey so you know that shared folder that a LOT of our stuff is on as well as a LOT of stuff in the entire IT department is on? Yeah it's gone."
Me * leaves work *3 -
In my second year of A levels in secondary school (college) we had to make a quiz game using Microsoft Visual Basic. Was my first time using the software, got annoyed within a few weeks and downloaded a template off the internet. The whole IT department thought I was some form of genius until I crashed the servers (in over 200 schools) trying to hack them 6 weeks later.
Sir if you're reading this, I'm sorry.1 -
I didn’t. I suck at it. That’s why I ended up being a manager. Not that I didn’t try, but according to a scientific test I took in college to figure out why I kept failing my math classes, I’m screwed in the math and logic department. I sure know how to read and write, though, so I guess I have that going for me.6
-
Who is the brain-damaged engineer at Samsung that decided that a capacitive touch buttons on an induktion cooktop is the way to go. As soon a waterdrop falls on any button the stove goes "FUCK IT, I'M OUT" and shut itselfs off for about 30 seconds.
How wonderful when you have 4 different pots that must have different temperatures and you must use each [+] - button sequentially because the idiot engineer was to lazy to make the input be able to handle several buttons at once!
Stupid idiot engineer and QA department!2 -
There will always be an idiot in a IT department that will ruin your Saturday, by adding a few more network restrictions for no freaking reason, breaking everything else.
-
The development department got an order to remove certain functionality from our current server monitoring solution, so that we had to use a new, still very in development solution, that is full of bugs and super unreliable.
End result? We now have to have two windows open all the time, while also hoping the new solution actually works, as it tends to stop refreshing randomly, and tends to give false positives a lot. -
Don't you just love it when a department buys a software for the company without consulting IT and Data Management departments? You know to discuss integration, flexibility, compatibility and all that?
Don't you love it even more when the users of this new software then complain about the different tools that have to learn and the workflow being completely scattered?
But hey, they work in administration, so I'm sure they know what they are doing. ⚡⚡⚡4 -
Adobe labs released one new component, I played with it after two days. Went to an interview with huge company after two weeks for a developer position, the interviewers was from different departments, they asked about one technical challenge they have, then I suggest the new component as solution, they gave me small task to implement using the component, I delivered it next day... Then they hired me in R&D department. It was great days.
-
My best dev experience this year was the success of my company intern app at work, where I am employeed since last December beside my studies.
The company founder, the CEO, the head of department and the marketing department all like my app and in January it will be deployed to all company phones 😀
Whish me luck that there won't be any serious bugs 😅 -
One of our projects migrated their file-repository to another one during a major release.
Instead of giving this task to an experienced programmer, they gave it to the head of the respective dev department due to the usual release panic.
Soo.... He wrote the migration tool. It was executed during the release. Everything seemed fine so far.
A few days later. Someone from the above project came to my team due to some "strange behaviour on the production database".
They reported that they couldn't download some of the user's documents due to unknown reasons.
After quickly analyzing the current state of the new file-repository, we concluded that the affected documents did not exist in the new repository.
Then we took a look at the so called migration tool...
Well.. After nearly 30 min. we knew the root cause for that.
They only migrated the first 4 levels of the folder structure. Due to the assumption that "we don't use deeper nesting". (Facepalm)
As the head of their department wrote it, no one seems to questioned it either. Nor did they made a code review and ended up with a tool with hard coded urls to the production db, no version control, no build tool, no ci, nothing. Breaking nearly every possible company standard.
However.. That's not it. When analyzing their migration tool we noticed another even more dangerous thing.
They mixed up the id generation of the migrated documents resulting in a random assignment between customers and documents. Which is quite bad as this contains sensitive information. E.g. passports
They offered us quite a nice amount of money to fix this until EOB. We declinded as it was simply not possible in that time, but agreed to support them with the new tool.
After some time I heard that they migrated production again. And they fucked it up again. They never talked to us after we offered them support...
The third and final migration was written by us. Not only migrated it correctly. It was also way faster. By factor 20.
In the end we haven't gained anything from this rushed project as the penalties were piling up due to this fucked up migration.
After all this time I'm not sure who is to blame. In my opinion, partly all of them.
Head of department who can't and shouldn't code.
Seniors who didn't review the code and didn't ask for help.
Release mgmt who put way too much pressure on the devs. -
All tech department was really happy when we used Github Projects - managing a project was concise and organised. We loved it.
Then one day, product pushed us all to switch to the fuckin' conglomerate mess called Jira (fuck you Atlassian), which we still hate. So cumbersome, so much unimportant crap features, unintuitive interface, slow .... yes, fuck you Jira, again.7 -
MENTORS - MY STORY (Part II)
The next mentor was my first boss at my previous job:
2.- Manager EA
So, I got new in the job, I had a previous experience in other company, but it was no good. I learned a lot about code, but almost nothing about the industry (project management, how to handle requirements, etc.) So in this new job all I knew was the code and the structure of the enterprise system they were using (which is why the hired me).
EA was BRILLIANT. This guy was the Manager at the IT department (Software Development, Technology and IT Support) and he was all over everything, not missing a beat on what was going on and the best part? He was not annoying, he knew how to handle teams, times, estimations, resources.
Did the team mess something up? He was the first in line taking the bullets.
Was the team being sieged by users? He was there attending them to avoid us being disturbed.
Did the team accomplished something good? He was behind, taking no credit and letting us be the stars.
If leadership was a sport this guy was Michael Jordan + Ronaldo Nazario, all in one.
He knew all the technical details of our systems, and our platforms (Server Architectures both software and hardware, network topology, languages being used, etc, etc). So I was SHOCKED when I learned he had no formation in IT or Computer Science. He was an economist, and walked his way up in the company, department from department until he got the job as IT Manager.
From that I learned that if you wanna do things right, all you need is the will of improving yourself and enough effort.
One of the first lessons he taught me: "Do your work in a way that you can go on holidays without anyone having to call you on the phone."
And for me those are words to live by. Up to that point I thought that if people needed to call me or needed me, I was important, and that lessons made me see I was completely wrong.
He also thought me this, which became my mantra ever since:
LEARN, TEACH AND DELEGATE.
Thank you master EA for your knowledge.
PART I: https://devrant.com/rants/1483428/...1 -
MarSecOps: "Marketing Security Operations, the idea is that security is not just the realm of website developers or the IT department anymore, but rather the marketing department has an equal if not greater interest in, and even responsibility to security."
Source: https://strattic.com/5-predictions-...
WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK? The marketing dimwits responsible for security? Whose IT competence ends at Powerpoint drivel?!
I LOLed so hard that I could have shat a cactus!8 -
Okay so i graduated last year and got a job working for a place that sadly disappoints me in their web development practices. This place uses a dead technology(my opinion)called Cold Fusion by Adobe. They do not use any form of version control like Git and their sites are very shitty and the design and development is implemented very poorly honestly. It honestly makes me sad that i feel like im smarter than my department vp. That being said i do not feel challenged here and am looking to collaborate in some open source projects via Github preferably.I dont consider myself an expert in this field but i would say im about intermediate level in web development. Im pretty comfortable with HTML,CSS/SASS,PHP,JS/JQuery, and im pretty comfortable in the PHP framework Laravel. So if anyone is interested in collaborating or starting something up, id be so down for it. :)7
-
My job. Working in a small IT department. Web programming most of the day and being able to help people with their phones, software, internet connection, and so on...
The only thing I sometimes wished for were some other devs in my company that would understand me and my problems and with whom I could discuss new technologies.
But now I got devrant. I'll be fine from now on.1 -
There are days where I just want to develop a plot of land in some forest/mountain rich area into a little farm, maybe with some silly animals like emus and alpacas.
Development is not always as stress free as I'd like it to be.
If I'd had to pick a way to spend my days and money was no issue, I'd probably only contribute to open source, and invest more time into a few projects of my own.
No boss, no sales department, no deadlines, zero pressure. Just solving the puzzles my brain wants to lock on to that day.1 -
Ok, a customer came to us saying he had a product that is just randomly rebooting. It sure must be a software issue.
I got the task and worked my way through ~10k lines of assembly code (8085 processor on board) Weeks go by, i tested every single god damn funktion they had, analyzed every vector they put in, finding NOTHING...
Meanwhile the hardware department analyzed and tested some possible culprits on the product for me. I had NO idea what the problem could be...
Then hardware department said: oh, they forgot a resistor on the FUCKIN RESET PIN OF THE PROCESSOR!!!!!
fml...5 -
College. The head Prof of the IT department tries to open a site without even looking at the networking icon, which says disconnected, meaning that the Ethernet cable was unplugged. Tries to refresh a couple of times.
Goes off to find a lab assistant.
Assistant comes is, plugs in the cable.2 -
When a national organization leaves the administrator password on a tool that manages the entire IT Department to the default password.
Also when said default password is publicly documented, known by all trained administrators of this tool, and said tool is exposed to the Internet. -
Still not sure about this new guy, not trying to be rude but everytime we're talking about code he says shit that makes me wonder how he got hired. (btw he is hanging with the IT department all the time) He's a very nice guy, but talks massive shit when it comes to bugs/new features/etc.
Should I have a look at his pc to see what he's doing when in office or is it none of my business. Help me out here, I'm really curious but don't care if he's a fake at the same time lol.8 -
Any hospital manager can manage ten IT departments simultaneously, any IT manager can’t even manage his own emails, let alone one department. Change my mind.
-
what's your expirience with business intelligence / data science? Do your company has a own department for it?
If so how does it affect you?2 -
For the past 5+ years all I’ve heard from DevA and DevB is what a mess our source control is, we should be using our own custom nuget feeds,..Monday morning quarterback this…Monday morning quarterback that.
This year the department manager gave them the green light to start from scratch. Like ‘green field’ start from scratch. If I were involved, I would have been excited with such an opportunity.
For the past two hours all I’ve heard is ..
DevA: “What should we call this namespace?”
DevB: “I don’t know, I can’t make that decision.”
DevA: “Yea, that’s a business decision. Let’s call it Common for now.”
DevB: “Yea, it’s stupid, but we can change it later.”
DevA: “What about logging project?”
DevB: “Well, how about Core? Every project should have a Core.”
DevA:”Ha ha…like .Net Core. I like it.”
On and on…it’s all I can do from throwing my chair right now.1 -
Been spending the afternoon working with our IT department helping them use the webpage they supposedly designed so they can help me with a separate issue. Turns out they were using IE...10
-
Kind of awkward for me.
Tomorrow is my last day at my current job and my department is starting to work full time remote tomorrow.
I start my new job this next Monday, and they went full remote yesterday. As of now they're shipping my laptop my way, but they cancelled new hire orientation on Monday and moved it to the following week. I haven't heard about what is expected for Monday yet, guess I'll know soon!3 -
In all the companies i worked at so far, never seen any employee (in any department) above age 50..maybe the ceo or some lawyer, but thats it.
Where do all the 50+ ppl go in tech?
I'm not sure the tech world will be what it is now even in 10 years.. but I'm just wondering do any of u guys think/worry about where we'll work when we stop being young and cool?
Looks like it's either u start your own business, which not everyone can, or..
what is option B exactly?!?20 -
The contractor/developer sitting next to me asked for a power adapter for the MacBook the company issued him (it's an older MacBook that currently connects to his monitor with one of those 2-in-1 power and display port cables).
They told him it was not company policy to provide power adapters to contractors.
They also wouldn't give him a license for a Windows VM for some Windows specific stuff he needed to work on for an outside vendor, stating it was a "security risk"
They've also talked about taking Linux off my laptop (which I run natively outside a VM cause fuck MacOS).
I hate our IT department. They're the least competent and least helpful bunch I've ever met.1 -
Memorable coworkers? It's a toss up between the guy who got fired for calling a department director a c*nt on a recorded phone line loud enough for the whole call center to hear it, and the guy who reported me to HR for not including him in a private Slack conversation because it had nothing to do with him.
People are weird.2 -
The Director of my employer's Firmware Engineering department, an older guy, sent out a department-wide email introducing a new hire. IN COMIC SANS.
Even though I am a new employee myself, I cannot let a disgrace like this pass unaddressed. So I politely and as respectfully as possible urged him not to use Comic Sans in a professional setting, and even offered rationale & alternatives.
He essentially responded, "No offense, but I'm gonna use whichever font I choose," but with that one simple sentence riddled with grammatical and spelling errors.
Shortly afterwards, he then sent out a mass email introducing me as a new hire. With my provided bio in a business-appropriate font, sandwiched between two hideous blocks of Comic Sans.
Honestly, how the fuck do people like this make it to a managerial position? >_>5 -
Email from a department mgr regarding a sharepoint site we inherited (lots of custom javascript, XLS, etc, stuff we didn't write)
Dan: "The department filter isn't showing up when I select the 'Logistics and Support' department. Was this caused by the changes you guys made? Its causing a major disruption in our processes and need it fixed ASAP."
Me: "Those changes went out almost two months ago and all the filters were working fine, at least that is what you told me when you tested it."
Dan: "I thought so, but its not working. It has probably been broken ever since you made those changes so I filed a corrective action ticket against your department for not following the documented deployment and testing processes"
Me: "Really? We've been over this. Its your department that is responsible for that sharepoint site. Previous developers hacked javacript together to make it all work, but I'm sure its something simple."
Dan: "Great. I'll start putting together a root-cause analysis to determine which of your processes we need to address."
Start looking at the javascript and found the issue..
if (dept === "Logistics & Support") {
$('deptFilter').show();
}
else {
$('deptFilter').hide();
}
Me: 'Found the issue. Did you rename the logistics department?'
Dan: 'No'
Me: 'To show or hide the filter, the code was looking for "Logistics & Support", someone changed the title to "Logistics and Support"'
Dan: "Well...I guess I did that yesterday...but I didn't change the name, just that stupid character. That shouldn't make any difference."
Me: "I can fix that right now. Are you going to need more information for your root cause analysis?"
Dan: "No, I think we're good. Thanks."1 -
public static void BackStory () {
Before i started working as a developer, I was working in tech support at a larger school environment.
In the department there was 8 employees, all youngsters like myself, so pranks was a daily thing(who needs to actually get some work done, right?).
}
One day we found a wireless mouse and decided to plug the dongle into my co-workers pc, and keep the mouse.
A couple of times a day, i would just wiggle it, click it or start scrolling.
The following weeks this guy was going absolutely insane,mumbling and ranting, thinking his computer had been infected with a virus or was about to break down. -
So these motherfuckers expect the IT guy to fix their crippled machines on a Friday evening?
Actually it's fun watching how one man's absence can throw a city into chaos.
Link ; https://mashable.com/2018/07/...
PS : A snippet attached.3 -
!rant
Guys I need your help, I'm considering the corporate life, and I have two major options
Option A:
A software factory where I would be working on maintaining existent systems and adding features, but I would learn a lot with their shadow program.
Option B:
An IT department where I would use a lot of different technologies, .Net, Java, ADF, etc, maybe even hardware but I would be paid the fifth than with A.
So what do you think?14 -
enrolled in a maaters of CS with a concentration in A I and it has all been bullshit. poorly made lectures, retarded lecturers, unwilling to help staff and just overall shit experience. Thinking about switching concentration before they ruin any hope i have for A.I before it becomes too late. legit considering if i need the mcs for anything else than job prospects for which i already have a really good paying job for which it is virtually impossible to get rid of me(i hold the entire department) man........ really want to drop out4
-
Can someone tell me why C++ and python are so widely used in the AI department? I kind of understand… you want maximum performance (plus GPU) with C++ or easy logic with Python but still, it seems like other languages would still have there benefits in AI. It just doesn't make sense to me, why isnt it like every single other part of computer science where everyone under 22 thinks "now this is what JavaScript was made for!" (I mean js is used so much in other parts of cs, why not AI). Am I missing something? Maybe the resources are missing for AI in other languages? Can someone please expand12
-
A while ago I ranted about my laptop at work which was unable to install a Windows update. After several attempts I have the laptop to our IT department, but they also weren’t be able to install these update. So it seems that I order a new laptop this year.6
-
So in my current workplace we have an IT department of... 7-8 people, with 3 developers (or 2.5, but that's debatable)
The oldest dev is old school, over 65 now came from Visual Basic, of course, and is a father of department's director - this is a story in of itself, but besides the point of this rant
Anywho, this dev is of course in this workplace way longer than me, and historically is in charge of finance and Microsoft CRM systems.
Guess the reason why Microsoft CRM was chosen at all in the company?
Because dev said he is not good with creating web forms from scratch, and apparently with MSCRM you can craft them without much trouble.
Yes, that's it, our MSCRM is used as a web application with custom forms that store data into custom DB tables that dev creates... nothing to do with actual CRM use cases.3 -
When your IT department needs to make a DNS entry for you and it's been blocking your sprint for 9 days.1
-
How our MIS/IT department handles problems...
Once upon a time a long time ago, a C level suit opened ransomware from an email with a link in it via Dropbox.
Two years in, even the marketing department, who are all using iMacs for digital media creation, inbound marketing, and website development, and alsohave more common sense than the lowly Excel minions, are still blocked from using Dropbox.
Thank god for Socks5 Proxying and an SSH tunnel to our web server. ;) I can has all the things.1 -
The heart of every software company is the development department.
Without it:
- The sellers would have nothing to sell
- Testers won't have anything to test
- Technical support wouldn't have anything to install1 -
Head of department is building a bitcoin rig with my manager friday afternoon in his office using tools from the IT one month after degrading me publicly and giving me an official warning in writing to respect working hours so cutting me off from my bonuses and promotions.1
-
When your boss calls for a meeting with the whole IT department because he is too worried about losing face by lecturing the guy who talked back to him.
-
I went to an interview yesterday and the director of IT department asked me what are the differences between mobile applications and web applications... Seriously what kind of questions is this??5
-
Some time ago at work, I verified a system design by running the whole thing in my head, bombarding it with various fault conditions in all phases in order to check whether I had forgotten anything. I had my eyes closed, and my PC was not even switched on. Right in that moment, the boss of my department came in.
He: what are you doing?
Me, without opening the eyes: thinking.
He: don't you want to code?
Me, eyes still closed: no.
He: (leaving)1 -
Client doesn't trust SendGrid. They're having their IT department deploy their own SMTP servers. This should be interesting.1
-
That time when I requested someone from a different department to include the ID row in their database excerpt. Me, having the lowest possible status in the company, did not know the who I wrote to was the boss over at the other department. So I ask straight forward: "Could you please include the ID row?"
Then a damn long email comes back stating that there was absolutely no time for stupid shit as mine. There existed no ID row and I would only waste his time. All further requests should be route via my boss.
So, fuck, he's pissed. So what he deserve? A shit load of honey right into his mouth, like he wants to.
That company had a huge ass hierarchy in job positions and I was at the bottom. So I write my oh-im-so-sorry-mail.
~I never knew what position he had and that I would of course fuck off with my stupid request.~
What was his response?
Oh, yeah, thanks. Have a look into the attachment, is that the ID row you requested?
Yeah, as one can guess, it was.
Stupid honeyfucker. Of course an ID row exists, duh. -
According to the report of Reuters : Brazil's Ministry of Justice said on Monday it has fined U.S. tech giant Facebook 6.6 million reais ($1.6 million) for improperly sharing user data. The ministry's department of consumer protection said it had found that data from 443,000 Facebook users was made improperly available to developers of an App called 'thisisyourdigitallife.' The data was being shared for "questionable" purposes, the ministry said in a statement.7
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"So, my company made a Mother's Day video, with photos from mothers around the company, with their children and stuff. A while ago they sent an email asking for replies with photos from those who wanted to participate, blah blah.
Then the video came out, and some people were missing. They complained.
HR then complained to IT Support that 'some emails didn't arrive'.
Support then replied to the ticket with screenshots of the person's own email inbox, with all the so-called missing emails.
HR then called back, apologizing for having screwed up with their own email inbox."
And this is another story of injustice with the poor IT department.
Or another story about people who can't properly manage their inboxes.
Or both. Your choice.
I just received it from a friend (I guess I should bring him into DevRant).1 -
So, someone from support department asked me to check the app as it was displaying blank information on a page.
I started debugging on the api which i found is doing the proboem. I checked and it was working a moment before but not now. Switched in debug mode to see what went wrong and it works again. This happen multiple times.
Before doing anything else i asked our api developer to check if api is working. He said it should work now and problem has been fixed.
Later i found out that he was doing debugging/changing code on production server instead of his local machine or test server. -
The time that I felt most like a Dev badass was when I had introduced an E2E test framework and added a bunch of helper classes to it so that our QA team could pick it up and write automated tests for the manual tests they had been doing for years.
Sure, the whole department got laid off after that because we had gotten a new CTO and all of my work was essentially for naught, but it made a lot of people enjoy showing up to work for the first time in a long time, and that was what mattered most to me -
Since everyone rants about interviews, I think that's the perfect time to ask this.
In a week, I'm going to have my first interview.
Its for an apprenticeship as "Fachinformatiker für Systemintegration".
For the non-german speakers, pretty much sysadmin,server-engineer, sometimes internal tech-support.
The company isn't a tech-company, but a logistics-company.
The interview will be done by the boss of the company's location and the lead of the IT-department.
So, what should I expect, what questions and such ?3 -
Customer complains about an issue after a software update. The head of department himself tested the update and got an error message.
Me looking at the logs. Ok, that's an issue, but based on hardware failure, customer should fix his hardware, no relation to the new software.
But surprisingly close to the software update, which piques my curiosity.
Me looking at older logs ... same issue. EVERY FUCKING DAY. For months. The corresponding error message only appears if a user is logged on, so quite a few people have seen it. Obviously nobody cared. Maybe we just ditch error messages, it'll save lots of work. -
So I was glad that I finally completed the project for my bachelor's degree after fixing random bugs.
Here came this shocking news which left me stunned.
Some other batch bought a similar project from a project centre(lifeline for noobs to pass university project by buying projects made by someone else).
Head of the Department sent me a message that the project done by my team(95%me) is rejected as the other batch also has a similar project. He's aware that they bought it from a project centre. He's defending them that their money would go in vain as they bought it already.
I was like WTF!! Srsly? Do you even know what it takes to make a project functional? I've no idea what I'm going to do now.
#doublestandards16 -
Fuck this algorithms course. How the fuck do you expect me to populate a 2d array of N^2 elements with data in linear time if you won't fucking let me write to more than one element at a time???
Dear CS department,
Make sure your homework makes fucking sense before shipping it off to students.
Regards,
A pissed off student
And before anyone comes at me with this "But you can technically do that if there's k*N elements and it would still be linear time" shit, fuck off; there's a worst case of needing to write to half the elements in the 2d array so it's still N^2 no matter how you try to "but technically" your way though it.3 -
I signed up for a trial of some time tracking software. Apparently the company that owns it is incredibly aggressive with their sales department. They sent me 10 emails within the first week (still sending even though I unsubscribed) and have started calling me every day. What have I gotten myself into.2
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Latest bug from our testing Department.
They think it may be a database issue why they can't save 0.00 degrees5 -
I see. They have to be geeky...mmmmh
I read a lot about biology, chemistry, physics and mathematics.
My two fav subjects are biology and math from the above. And I try to attend to as many lectures as I can.
Biology fascinates me to no end and it helps that one of my closest friends works as a resesrcher in Mexico, we are far but we get to talk about it all the time. He is more than happy to go on large lectures about the subject.
I also read a fuckload of fantasy books as well as manga. I also go on anime binged here and there.
In perspective though, i don't think anything is as nerdy as software development. SPECIALLY if it involves large portions of math(which in my case does for the things we develop for the accounting department)
( . Y . ) <--- chichis6 -
A year ago i made a binary which very quickly checks all stuff we normally check on customers PCs manually via a few WMI queries.
It worked well on 3 dev machines, so i went to my department lead, told him to execute it and the fucking thing just spews WMI errors left and right.
Even though it showed us that some very low level stuff in his Windows installation was broken it was just embarrassing as hell.
Shortly after I had all checks fitted with a secondary method in case WMI fails.5 -
Some background to get us started...
Just took over the position as IT Specialist for our local county commission back in December after the previous employee left.
Before leaving she deleted all of her emails for the past 9 years.
Included in her emails were the details for certain program licensing the county had purchased not the least of which was 200 Office 2010 professional keys.
Getting into the office this morning my boss says "Hey got a problem for you, we've exceeded the license count for Microsoft office, and the vendor we purchased from is no longer in business."
My first response was Ok, lets go with open, or libre office. Problem solved. (I'm piece by piece upgrading our infrastructure to a more dependable OS you know, Linux.) I knew the open office suggestion wasn't going to fly so I promptly got on the phone with our friends @ Microsoft.
They were as helpful as you can expect when provided with only our MAK # and sent me back to try digging around for details 9 years old with our purchasing department. Who happens to be too damn busy to concern themselves with what the IT department needs this morning.
That will be remembered the next time the internet "Quits" working as they so often like to claim when then cant get an item to add to a cart in amazon.
Sure people just because your chosen shit browser (Edge) doesnt like to play well with js all the time the internet must be broken... -
The university's IT Department has asked to talk to me asap.
I dont if I should be worried or not!12 -
I was a university student. The it company, I was interviewed at, required everyone to pass English test. I passed it with quite a good result (90 of 100, know no one with such result). So next day I had an actual interview with a head of some department.
He didn't had his own office, instead he shared it with 5 other employees. One of them was taking with someone on Skype. He told he had some work to finish, but it shouldn't take long. It took an hour.
And then he returned to me, starting asking questions about my knowledge. I am a java backend guy, but he asked me about php stuff and front-end stuff like ‘moving a button to a new position’.
Basically, this is it.4 -
I started reading “The Phoenix Project” by Gene Kim. And in the first chapter itself two people from the IT department get fired, and the author is forced to takeover the CIO position. Damn, now I’m shook. Is Tech really that much under appreciated and management that much hostile ?4
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whining
So I'm sitting here, working my ass off developing something far above my current skills.
On the opposite side of the table sits relatively new guy, working as a part of support "department". Relatively new means that he's with the company for around 1 month.
The guy started speaking to me. I took off my headphones and listened, while still reading code. He told me about how he'll have to carry out the recruitment process for the support department today. And that he was told to present himself as a leader of the department, blah blah blah.
To be honest, I stopped listening at that moment. I got really pissed. And it's not because of the absolute lack of the professionalism of the company (srsly, make a new guy do recruitment work?). It's because I asked boss to get someone to help me half a year ago. He did employ around 3 new support people (4th today). But no one for me.
And he has the balls to tell me that I NEED to work harder to make it for deadline that he imposed. That he won't employ anyone new for me because new people could stole his "idea". Because MAYBE in a month one guy, a junior like me, will come back (he's on a break to finish his master thesis).
Product I'm working on is probably the main reason other companies are even buying the system he's reselling. As a student I'm working only half-time, so those deadlines are almost impossible.
I wonder how he'll manage if I'll get accepted for the work I'm currently applying.4 -
My department was tasked with building browser extentions for Shopify to add functionality to their admin panel.
We warned the bosses about how unstable these extentions could become as there is no warning of changes to Shopify's code. If they make a small change it could break everything.
Instead of listening to us, what did they do? They doubled down and had us build this massive plug-in that adds dozens of complicated UIs and features to run the core of their business. I actually left the company over this and several other questionable decisions.
Last week I was catching up with their last remaining dev. Appearently a few weeks ago most of it fell apart and some of its not fixable unless Shopify makes some changes.1 -
Got half my college calling me "Pennywise" cause I work at the "IT" department. Thanks Saturday Night Live!
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I used to work for a consultancy that specialised in a very niche area (I won't say what – this is traceable enough already!). We charged our clients a very high hourly rate, because demand and supply. All the time I'd get calls like the following:
"Please could you just make this small change to the deployment?"
"Yes, of course. You don't have any contract hours left, so I'll just forward you to our billing department so you can sort out the payment first"
"Ah okay, please can you tell us how to do it"
[Even if I explained it, you wouldn't be able to do it – that's why you're coming to us.]
"...or better yet, just do it as a quick fix outside of work?"
[So... work for no pay? No thanks.]
While my company always had my back on these requests (obviously, they wanted payment too), they were so frequent that I got sick of it.1 -
I'm studying games development at university and as a course it may not be the best but I enjoy it. With the department courses like Computer Sciences etc run alongside and we're given the choice to swap if we want. At the end of first year a few left the class and a few came in.
Forward to now where we're actually making games. I'm in a team of 4 working on a minecraft clone using Direct X 12 (50% of the module). Immediately one asked "who actually wants to make games?" to which they all said "no... This course is pointless, I don't want to make games" . So now I'm stuck on a team with a group of people who think its all stupid and want to do bare minimum work and want to solve no problems or do anything interesting with the project...4 -
Can anyone tell me if is normal a design department earn more than a IT department??? Am I crazy or this is plain stupid???11
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TL;DR: work at the reference hospitals, we got precautions, no panic, we got this.
Well, currently my client is one of the reference hospitals in belgium in regards to coronavirus so they receive a lot of the infected patients. Although the general public is 'uneasy' to put it mildly, the IT department is not scared. We take our precautions, we already have safe working distances from each other. If the federal minister of health announces it, all non-medical or non-essential employees from the hospital will be either put on leave or work remote. Bottom line is: no panic. we got this! -
So its been around a month since I started my internship in this company. Seriously hating it. Most of the people are nice enough..but the work though..I get that since you're not really an IT company then theres no coding and stuff,sure.So, you put me in this 'IT related department' where I basically can't do anything other than be useless until you have documents for me to edit. Really?? The least you can do is just give me something challenging to work with but noooo just copy paste that stuff and change the damn fonts. "Oh you're done already? Pretty fast" well how long do you expect me to do this thing?? The only reason why it would take me a whole day to edit stuff is because your laptop's Word literally restarts itself every minute!!! How the @#$/# do you do anything with this?!!
//its gonna be a long 7 months....9 -
That feeling when the Jenkins build fails and fixing it is both out of your scope and permission.
Dear devops, you should know when a certificate expires that we use to authenticate with external web services. -
I'm getting more frustrated every day. In the past 2 months the requirements have changed dozen of times, which resulted in so many unnecessary delay.
The date for the soft launch has changed multiple times as well. One moment there is going to be a soft launch, the next week they decide to launch earlier without a soft launch.
On top of all the annoying IT related issues, our CEO is on holiday. The only person left in the company remotely capable to replace him for a few weeks is me. So beside changing requirements and deadlines, I have to deal with a lot of other shit as well.
To make things even harder, most coworkers from our support department are on holiday. Just one person is left and his wife will be getting a baby very, very soon. Ofcourse, I'm happy for him, but taking over our support department as well is not what I'm looking forward to.
The soft launch is schedule for next Monday. I'm so tired and I'm distracted every day by non IT issues. The most important things work, but there is still so much to do and I can hardly concentrate. The two other parties who are involved are far from ready either and I have to find shortcuts for their problems every morning, because they can't fix it for themselves.
Well, at least writing it down here helped my stress a little bit :) -
Most of the faculty on my college's IT engineering department aren't exactly adept with Linux, despite the fact that 10/12 labs in our building run on Ubuntu.
Last week, a really great professor (who doesn't take any classes I can attend) from the Electronics and Communications department and I wrote some bash scripts to automate updates and so on, staying back after college until late evening to try to get the PCs updated.
We'll be trying to use SSH to update as many computers as we can remotely, and trying to learn to use Cron to automate the whole updating deal.
I'm learning this stuff on the side, since it's not on my syllabus at all, and the professor isn't even related to the departments that run the labs usually.
We're not getting anything for doing this, the head of my department (who has it in for me) has no idea about this, and nobody else is bothered enough to learn either. -
Is it normal to work at a company that claims it has an R&D department (in which I work), but nobody actually does the 'R' part... like never?
I think I have potential in researching. What should I do?1 -
Project Lead: The DevOps department just got a GitLab instance installed on our internal network. We're gradually going to move all our projects onto it and move away from BitBucket and Jenkins really soon.
Me: Awesome!
Project Lead: We're still using JIRA and Confluence for issue tracking and documentation though because the higher ups said so.
Me:2 -
After 4 years of being cautious not to stir the waters it happened again. There was much gratefulness. Then there was much hate. Yesterday I accidentally replaced 17 people department with 3 scripts.9
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Our customer's internal IT department isn't able to offer a solution for a single sign-on when the user needs to navigate into one of their apps. So they just show something like this before that happens: "For security reasons you'll have to enter your username and password again during the next step." Sure, that sounds believable. Oh boy.1
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Marketing people are like
"Hey, I have a vision. I need someone to develop this Grab-like app in a few days".
Fuck that CEO, fuck your vision,. fuck your story. Nobody wants to work alone in a large scale application. You need to have a full IT department to do that job with the ability to work through time. -
The tale about our famous imbecile IT guy goes on.
After 7++ emails from the CXO and 4 emails from head of dev department, the IT guy has still, not provided the access I requested for our servers.
Do note, the head of dev department has been appointed by the Board of Directors to manage the infrastructure upgrade and merge.
The way everything has been done till now, is that one person controls everything and holds the usernames/ passwords. That’s going to change. At least 3 people will know it. And a super user will be created, and password given to the board of directors in a sealed envelope
I guess someone is at risk of loosing their job...
/me looks at IT guy1 -
My flatmate's previous flatmate left this for me. It used to belong to the CS department, but they gave away random stuff they didn't need anymore. What should I do with it?4
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My school has a completely open SMTP server. A friend today who works for the tech department just showed me how anyone could fake an email. He did this by sending me an email as the president of the school, it looked legit. He told the security dudes but they can't secure it due to legacy systems. This is madness surely!?! Is open SMTP as bad as I think? (It is at least only accessible on the schools network).3
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If anyone remember my suffering with the devops team of my company, it just got worse, the dude who knows shit about devops and development got suddenly promoted as leader of the devops department.
if that isn't luck then i don't know what is, and in the last two months hasn't been any improval at all of the "new" architecture.
for more context:
https://devrant.com/rants/3261482/...2 -
Chrome browser was installed on my new PC at work by IT as a piece of software we get as default.
I've been having an issue where certain sites seem to fall SSL.
I contacted IT and their only response was that it must have been installed by mistake and that don't support it.
When I informed them that it was on every new PC I had seen they said that's not possible and I'm the first case they had seen.
WTF, our IT department is so screwed up that they don't even know what their rolling out to our PCs.
Even worse I've been made to feel like I'm doing something wrong by using software they don't approve of, even though they installed it.
I think I'm sending tonight getting an old laptop set up with linux do I can connect to the guest Wi-Fi at work. At least then the PC is under my control.4 -
Ok who the fuck set up the test alarm of the county voluntary fire department.
Its literally a random number calling you that when you pick it up plays a police siren.
Any person who doesn't know what the fuck this is, hangs up thinking what the hell was that.2 -
So, have been working for this company for 4 years now as a warehouse associate, but over time they finally realized I can code. I was given the opportunity to work on different projects (even though the first project was a setup for failure but still prevail completing it).
Long story short, next year plan on finishing my bachelor's degree in Software Development. Once I get the degree (or during the process) should I strive to try to work at the:
Tech position (at the current job)
or
Data Analyst department (current job) ,
since I would be the only developer (for data analyst and impressed the team members at my current job,
or
should I try to find another job in software development for a new field when the opportunity come up for a fresh start in just programming and not warehouse associate work?
P. S. Close friends with the Tech department, have high recognition and have done some projects for them. They would love to see me join the team if it happens. When I am not working with the tech department during off season (needs to be approved by management to work on these projects during off season) I am literally cutting a box, wasting my skills and potential in auditing during the season.7 -
So for the past month I've been working on a new website for my department, it looks beautiful has a custom CMS and is all around great (not to tout my own horn or anything). Now my boss has taken it to the marketing department to get a final approval and they responded saying that a lot of departments are complaining about not being able to maintain their pages and how terrible the current ones look. They want to create WP sites for all the department's and make us maintain them. I know why I hate WordPress but they can't understand what's so bad about it. How do I convince them my custom solution is better than the monstrosity of WordPress?2
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Co worker who makes the sliders/ banners for the site asks how to get his form input beside on the right side... asks all three people in his department... worker with "20 years experience" says they should use "!important"
😳Ahhh best practice says DO IT RIGHT!1 -
My company used to just let anyone write code for our customers. Now I am the official development department. I knew someone wrote something very similar to a new request I got from a customer, so I requested his code because I didn't want to rewrite everything. After seeing the code I changed my mind and I want to redo it from scratch.
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We have a lot of small projects with different domains that we maintain and develop. Most go into maintainence mode now and get no new features. Now our new department lead declared us the SWAT team bc there are no new good projects. This baiscally means we get pushed to other team's projects that have issues with deadlines and support there. So basically we get to projects with fire on the roof and as reward for extinguishing, we get another burning project.
Either that or in the first department meeting where our new boss introduced himself and managed to say in the same paragraph that due to corona we "shouldn't expect any salary increases bc these are hard times" and "his department has so much money and doesn't know where to spend it" -
I went to city department yesterday and. I picked up they are still using windows 98 :O
So I am asking the clerk, why are you still using ancient OS. Apparently It seems they have software that run only on win 98 and it is no longer maintained5 -
I started working for a startup as Server Administrator/ System Integrator beside university to get some dollars with easy work and nice people.
((I Know two of the C*Os so I got a had feeling with this. Besides the upcoming story I'm still really happy with my position and career chances here. God bless my Department which has the most funny/rude guys, love you.))
tl;dr:
Guy fakes his Skillset and fuckup whole department, can´t do most of his basic tasks. I had my first and hopefully last interaction with this bastard.
Heres how everything started:
I was more and more involved in the leading processes and decisions.
Heard about a story where and why the whole dev-department was kicked out of his position because they were crappy developers. And cant just believe the stories they told me about the former Dev-Lead
Now I met the former "Development Lead"
I was brought in because we in the IT wondered why he would like to share his local machine password with colleges. After some questions he came out with the Reason.
He is doing home-office for some days a week now and wants his colleges to be able to start his "software". (already confused by that)
The "better IT-guy" in me offered help for automatic deployment CI/CD stuff so that they can use it as an inhouse service.
BIG OOF incoming:
"The code is not in git because I wanted to clean it up before"
"My IDE is the only place where my PHP crap work is running"
"The 'PHP-software' is to complex for this"
My Lead and I were completely speechless,
I understand the decision to kick this "dev-Lead" from the lead position down to a code monkey/ script kid.
Now I´m thinking about getting my Hands on the Lead position after my exams because if such bastards with no clue about basic stuff, no clue about leading, no clue about ci/cd, no clue about generic software stuff get the job I would easily be the "good IT-guy" with more responsibility/ skill.
Now I sit here, hate people that fake their skills and set back work of colleges for multiple months and never asked for help or advice.
And the little "Bastard Operator from Hell" in my just wants to delete all his files, emails account during a migration to completely demotivate the person who failed to be responsible for a team nor their projects.rant ci/cd php administrator startup script-kid i hate people unskilled skill faker lead developer devops5 -
horror stories from my old job: we had to ask to get the internet 'turned on' (of course only for a short period of time), you had to disable loading images, because otherwise you'd have to wait for fucking EVER til you could safely move your mouse and: Google had a massive lag when you scrolled. let me repeat that: GOOGLE. LAGGED. I didn't even know that was fucking possible! and the worst part: my old job was at a software dev company. not a shitty IT department at -I don't know- a bakery?! I mean, wtf?! and it wasn't even a start up. and they still exist! how? why?! I'm still not sure how I managed to work there for five months...1
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Dev c++. Our school had us use it because they thought everyone in the CS department was an idiot and needed an easy to use GUI for c++ development. It was okay until we found out it was for very simple c++ development.
Doing anything outside of making one class and printing some statements was cryptic as fuck.1 -
I'm currently doing a small personal project on JavaScript and HTML5. I ran into a problem and tried asking my teacher about it. It wasn't the JavaScript teacher but the HTML one. Anyway, his response is, "the department won't let me solve your doubts about JavaScript, only about JQuery". Because some of my classmates ranted to the department about a project that teacher told us to do in JavaScript (which is not strictly his subject) So here I am, my problem is still unsolved and I'm pissed off. I wonder if its ok to tell a teacher to NOT solve the students doubts.2
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Anyone else ever not feel like explaining something technical to someone in a different non-technical department or position, so you use a lot of techy terms and make it sound really confusing so you can move on with your life?
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My first internship.
The webdev department for a engineering company is in the basement. I was given a cubicle near the middle by the wall. The ceiling light was broken so I had to work in the dark... It was a 7-4 with no pay nor do they cover any expenses. I did manage to use the experience and got a job offer at a 'proper' software company in the end. -
Project Lead in the morning: This one story needs to be finished till 2pm for the QA department.
Me: No problem, everything is finished and there is only one test case open. It should be finished in no time.
Also me: Spends 7 hours of intensive lagacy code debugging to find out why this shit isn't working sometimes. Try to fix it, broke some other things. Retested all cases and found 3 other minor bugs. End of the day, story is still not finished.
Now: Project Lead is mad, QA guy is mad, I am mad.
Conclusion: I hate debugging legacy code and I never again trust the last open test case!!2 -
My company design floor plan and some photoshop work for clients.
One project was to resize the image to certain width and height and place it in the center of the photo with padding 40px around.
I wrote an extended script of Adobe to help the design department and process thousand of images within an hour.
My Boss was so impressed and have a meeting with me. He said: "You need to lead IT department and create a system that can detect the client's requirement and complete the drawing with Adobe Illustrator automatically".
Me: Thinking (Meh, I have no knowledge of Image Processing with my poor Mathematics, where can I die with his requirements?) -
Started a new job recently. Super cool place, awesome people and I get to do something that actually matters.
But I did get caught up in some organizational changes and have been in a bit of a weird situation. I'm employed in one department, but hired to participate in a project owned by another department. The project is sort of ongoing, but currently in a bit of a twilight zone because a new project team is being put together, and it'll be a few weeks before we're all ready.
Until that time, I am learning tons of new stuff. About the project, the technologies currently used and also exploring new tech and other ways we could go with it.
There's a lot of freedom granted to me, and I've had some good experiences and successes. But it's also a LOT to take in; starting a new job, learning multiple new technology stacks, and waiting for everything to really kick off for good. At which point things might get really hectic.1 -
Haha, I was checking a bug of something that is displaying wrong in the app that I'm currently working, reported by the manager of the IT department, and he took the trouble of taking photo of the phone instead of a screenshot XD1
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One of my collogues seems to now think Excel macros are a good thing and something that should be used on the reg.
I don't like this. Crappy in-house software is my department. And I won't use F***** Excel for it either2 -
Other dev in my department thought it was okay to comment out the latest version of jquery lib that was used in the project and replace it with about 2 year old version to make his feature work. He did not informed anybody about this and today when build was tested, blame was on me because the feature i implemented does not work. I found issue was because of old jquery lib he put.
Funny thing is, his feature does not work with latest jquery version.
I guess it's gotta be either me or him. -
*sigh* that moment when you call your provider and after 20 minutes of talking and waiting you get redirected to the IT department and a feeling of coming home rises in your stomach. *relief*
Furthermore when you instantly like someone over the phone just because you feel like being from the same kind. Anyone ever had this feeling? Or am I just a creep!? 😅 -
When your legacy IT department does everything in its power to prevent a migration to AWS because it isn’t secure.6
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Back in the days of DOS/Win3.x I was jerking around in school sending messages to my friends in other classes by changing autoexec.bat on the workstations I used.
Somehow someone mistook my messages as a virus, and the IT department closed down the workstations for weeks.2 -
Invoicing module of an old application died a few weeks back and I was sodomized into fixing it ASAP! Instead I wrote the most beautiful bit of code in history and not only half-assed a solution in thirty minutes I also revolutionized the Customs department conception of user experience.
https://gist.github.com/anonymous/... -
He wasn't really my boss, I was an "intern" at my uncle's company, I was really just messing around and running errands for people there but I helped in the IT department setting up machines an so. This guy was the head of that department, he was the coolest person on earth, super nice guy that was always looking out for us.
I would say he was more of a teacher/father to me than a boss, he helped me a lot not only with technical skills but as a person, back then I had a really bad temper.
He recently past out, hella sad. -
Project got in after months of the people requesting knowing the project needed to ve in a web form.
They didn't let my department know till right fucking now with only two weeks for launch time.
Yeh its a simple formz yeh I can do it, yeh you do own me a bottle or Knov Creek and a steak after this you son of a bitch, i got other shit to do1 -
!rant
I did just talk with a client because they tried to analyse some data we send and they fucked up. the client told me they can't fix it because they cnat access the data because they have a divious virus. xD you're the god damn IT department of a pretty big company. wtf? really how?1 -
I needed to install an extra Ethernet card on my machine at work. The process of getting it from the IT department was fairly easy, but the damn things didn't have the small screws you need, in order for the card to not hang on the PCI-E port...
Turns out finding that kind of screws is way more annoying than the card itself. :/ I don't get why they were not included, if they are essential for the operation of the card...5 -
I went to an interview and they say they will call me within 2 week if I pass the first round of interview.
They don't call me so I assume I fail the interview and life went on.
I received the call today said I pass the first interview and if I wanted to come for second interview. My first thought is Fuck Off.
My acquaintance work for that company and we have a frank conversation. What is going on is that they are overwork and the other department complain that they don't have output from IT department.
When they ask IT department why don't produce output, head of IT department said they don't have enough people. HR department reluctantly allow them to hire more people and they phone me. My acquaintance apologize for the move that their company make. My acquaintance also said that he/she will also pass my decision to their department head.
I have meet everyone is that IT department whom I am going to work with and I like them. They are not only knowledgeable but also a nice person. More importantly they value the quality of work. They are the kind of person I like working with.
What I don't like is their HR department and they only call me when their departments work stale.
Here is my problem, I like the people I am going to work with but I don't like the company that they think I am kind of "backup". The company is the reputable company and it will be easier for me to find other job if I decided to quit and apply for other job.
I know the price range that they are willing to hire me due to first interview and the probing question I asked.
I was thinking of asking for salary outside their price range and think how it goes. If they are willing to hire me despite the ridiculous salary I asked , I may tolerant to work with them.
How do you think I should handle the situation?2 -
Context: Working in a small IT department of an SME that sells wine during my uni placement year.
Having the MD come into the office cubicle without notice or even knocking and always expecting people to work long hours (when his dad was more of a _work efficiently 3h per day_ type of person) and not hold his promise on getting me to work on projects relevant to my degree and the initial contract (where I was also paid less than promised). -
Who just accidentally volunteered to go through an apps code and write down how it all works?
This guy!
Asked what I thought was a simple yes no question and have now caused an entire department to question everything they know.
On the plus side at the end of this I'll be the go-to guy for this app. And I can document it as I go.
So win win? -
!rant
I've been in technology since 2007, programming and databases since 2008. Each new company/position/department/role is a new challenge that I couldn't have attempted without doing the one before it. It takes time and energy to hone your art and skill. -
Asked to replace the Department Head of IT Operation. Didn't want to because too much responsibility and was just recently promoted to Unit Head of Engineering, said I needed more time since I'm still getting used to it. Three months later, was called by boss on a Friday then start on Monday. No freaking experience on managing people.... Ended up doing almost all the work since I'm faster doing them than my underlings. I prefer coding or doing tech stuff. Now burnt up. Quitting soon.3
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I just got this email from my university's IT department, which made my eye twitch in kind of an uncomfortable way. My options were...
0. Be cool, reply to the email, kindly asking that the accept that Chrome isn't the only web browser and ask they recommend add-ons for Firefox too.
1. !(Be cool), actually pop into the IT department and yell at people
2. Decide neither of those are worth it and rant about how Google own enough of the internet at this stage.
Yeah... 2 is the path of least resistance here.2 -
So this one dude at my school asked at a student conference, if they could swap Google for Ecosia as the search engine for all school computers. This ended up becoming an actual thing there a year after my graduation.
Imagine if a lot of other schools would do that too? Planting trees and ditching a monopoly, because one simple change from the IT department.1 -
Stupid sales department adding features to the project just to justify numbers of the quotation when the client has no need for it..
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Is it that weird to regularly (like once a day) check which rooms are booked in your department to find out what's happening in the department? As well as watching some areas in our knowledge base so I can be notified on changes/updates? Was called out on being a "stalker" by a colleague in the last team meeting...2
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I have been working on a really interesting project for the last 6 months, now they put it on hold because another department wants something else done.
Now I have to go back and work with shitty tech and horrible legacy code.
They said is only for a month or so, but I can feel that it will be more, way more.
I feel like it is bothering me more than it should, probably because the other project was mine since day one and was way more enjoyable to work with.
Part of me wants to quit because of this, part of me tells me that I need to wait and I will get the other project back.
What would you do? How can I shut up my internal quitter voice? -
New dev colleague today asked me why he cannot save his work in our automation platforms.. Naturally I asked what errors pop-up. He sent me screenshot of window which appears when you want to check for compilation errors, not saving your work. Out of frustration, I couldn’t help but laugh and asked what I’m supposed to do about it.. I still had to explain him the thing. Sometimes I feel like I’m not dev but detective in ‘stupid people doing $hit’ department
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So I don't even know if I should be mad;
person hired at the same time as me has been given a kind of manager title, they do a lot of logistical (trello, department liaison) stuff, in addition to code. Were they promoted to manager? Or have they just given a bunch of non-code stuff to do, and I should be thrilled not to be bothered with it? -
So. As some of you may remember. I got a new job. However! I didn't end up taking it. They ended up terminating my current boss and gave me his job (and salary to boot).
They then told me to begin rebuilding the department and expanding it, something my old boss was not a fan of.
What tips do you guys have for building and managing a team? I've never ran one before. So I'm looking for advice on a project management platform. We are a C# shop so If it has nice integration into VS all the better.
Thank you and rant on! I am sure I will have some ranting about hiring and junior fuckups soon!2 -
Got offered to start early in a graduate program at a major it consulting firm through a internship. While I still need to write my final engineering project and take two courses.. Gonna be a long year. But Hey.. A job in a cool department is pretty awesome.
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I've been working as a web dev intern for my college's IT department for about three weeks now. Knowing that I have the access to the cms, file server and database... Muhahahahahahahahahaha😈 but I guess I will be a good boy and only screw around in my test environment.
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Worst CS teacher experience was the prof who undermined the entire class's confidence in the CS program. Anytime the discussion turned to department business he brought EVERYTHING out, he played up what he oerceived to be shortcomings, and (at the 400-level) it made a lot of people question the value of their work thus far.
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Just realized that before i did that commit there was this guy (let's call him a friend, fucking asshole from a different department who can't see someone is working before continuing their stupid conversations) took my attention away for 15-20 mins and i being distracted didn't commit 1 file out of 7 and ended up changing (exact same file over next code merge) it.
Now Everything fails.
Sweet afternoon work is gone.
To be repeated ....3 -
Co-worker (in another department) has a friend in LA that hired someone in another country to build them an exact replica of another company's site. The developer is having trouble and he wants me to get on the phone with them for "just 5-10 minutes" to help them.
So- you refuse to support local business and freelancers to save money, then expect me to help you for free when they can't deliver. Got it.1 -
I'm working as a cnc operator. I've ask for some txt files, cos I wanted to write a small help to the job management. He said it's ok, but he can't gove me the files, cos there is some problem with the system, he'll have to call the IT department. When he clicked to the file, notepad popped up instead of wordpad and it messed up the outlook of the text. So when I've changed the default applicaton to all txt files to wordpad, he looked at me like I would be Mr. Robot...
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Another on workflow:
When the IT department thinks it's a good idea to limit the snooze function in windows update to ten minutes, and of course, you think about that half a day you'd need just restoring the workspace and get back into the groove, so you decide to postpone and remember to do so again.
Then like clockwork (literally and figuratively): within twenty minutes the machine reboots because you were too focused to notice the notification again.. And all is lost.
Ok, so windows does a good job restoring everything now, but that's Windows 10 while work uses 7. The conclusion is the same: IT department should focus on their tangled cables, things they know. -
Teamleading apprentice reporting in.
Today our new frontend employee told me our app wont start. I have wasted 90 minutes figuring out somebody installed an older node version via remote. Turned out the head of our administration thought: mhm it has been more than three weeks since they reported they had problems on the new frontend employee pc, lets check it out.
He did not inform anybody, not the user of the pc, me or the head of our IT department. -
A few years ago, while in college, a friend and I were working on a engine as a side project to build experience. 25% of the goals completed and he begins making excuses to not work anymore. I continues working on it and when the project was "competed", I showed it to the head of the department at the college where I was offered a job as a professor and sold the engine for 20k to the department of engineering.
The dude came back claiming recognition and compensation for his effort I told him sure.
When we met, I showed him legal paper stating the engine was patented under my name and I was the only owner.
In reality, I wanted to meet with him to breath his ass then show him the paper but I felt that would be too evil.
I was pretty mad that he came back after leaving but I can't hold good for nothing people. -
The Economists department where I'm getting a PhD announced a 'great' job opportunity in the State Manufacturing Federation. It seemed truly great, it was an interest job and it required every single ability I've been developing over these years: coding, database management, statistical analysis, geoprocessing and making of maps... But the salary was offensively low. That day I realized how much I'm valued in the market. *sigh*
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HP Switches are a clusterfuck of shit.
The command line interface seems to be designed in a way to ensure that HP support engineers will always be needed.
My supervisor and I figured it would be easier for our task to go and steal some Cisco switches from the other department to avoid having to deal with this giant pain in the ass -
There was a department. Long time ago their work was somewhat complicated: background checks of businesses, websites, ToSes, assuring agreement compliance, some risk management on top. They started as small 3 people team but over the years they were hiring new employees to catch up with the growing customer base. They were still struggling. Few years back we've integrated 3rd party services to help them and, finally, their backlog was gone!
In January they complained about how much more work they have since the merger so I inquired about which process was troublesome, what was the flow, etc., and it turned out to be very... Tinder-like - the issue was the sheer number of cases:
1. open a case,
2. check results in few windows,
3. if green + green + green, move right.
4. else move left.
It was ridiculous, I wouldn't stand for that. I sat for an hour, made some ghosting scripts that followed same business logic and saved results alongside their actual decisions. Last week I compared the two and there was zero difference so I green-lit it with my boss and pushed to prod.
Oh, the happiness on their faces when they heard the news, the disbelief, the tears of joy!
And then it happened. After 4 years of being cautious not to stir the waters I did it again. Yesterday I accidentally replaced 17 people department with 3 scripts. How was I supposed to know it was *all* they were doing??1 -
Soooo how was your productive day?
I kept getting interrupted by a co-worker every 5 minutes with stupid questions (like "I want to see you log into Jira so I know it work for you", I have never had issues with it), the deadline is only in 2 days, we're still missing a few features, and I'm off tomorrow btw, also I'm the only developer in my department for now
Soooo how was your productive day? -
so i did this convenient download script that worked like a charm at home only to find out internet is blocked for these kind of things at work. adding a port results in a single connection success that will be blocked on the next attempt. i get it with all the security concerns but am curious which way it-department tells me to download 3k+ files with likely dynamic filenames otherwise...2
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So awhile ago I asked my IT if i could get ubuntu on my (School) Laptop & she said that it can only be changed by the department of education, but seriously WTF It's just Linux && You could get it on all the NSW computers & it wouldn't change a thing!!2
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I have dilema..
Should I go to a small software company that use latest angular + .net core and have tech lead..
OR
continue working in large non-it mnc department where I have autonomy to do things however I want see I fit.
I think going to software house is good. The payment is good, but maybe it will cost some of my life due to I have to be fullstack.
At the large non it mnc company is better I have to do front end using Angular and I have total control. No one point out what is my mistakes.
I am young 24 and not married yet3 -
So, firstly allow me to start with I'm not one to use my phone, so the idea that I'm not allowed to doesn't actually bother me, but the threatening tone really does drive me insane. The corporate office environment here is quickly getting old. Am I wrong to be annoyed by this?
[To IT Department Group]
Remember these emails?
PUT YOUR PHONES AWAY. Next one I see I will confiscate until the end of the day.
YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
[Head of IT footer]
----
Forwarded email.
----
[To IT Department Group]
I see mobiles starting to creep out onto desks and people with heads down texting/looking at their phones.
Please stop.
What I said previously still stands.
Put them away, or I will.
[Head of IT footer]12 -
(Asking for someone I’ve been mentoring.)
TLDR; Looking for recommended resources on how to code email templates from scratch.
I’ve been helping a friend transition their career from sales to web development and recently he applied for a position as a jr developer for an ecommerce startup. They liked him and they’re willing to create a new position for him where he’ll work with both the marketing department and the development team. He’ll start with building email templates for the marketing department and eventually move on to development as he grows his skills. I’d really appreciate it if I could get some recommended resources for learning how to code email templates from scratch and from PSDs. This would be a life changer for him and I’m trying to do as much as I can to help me out.4 -
Are there any good SAML 2.0 libraries out there for Node.js or Python?
Background: I'm working with SAML 2.0 SSO through ADFS at my current job. Our application server is a Java/Tomcat/Spring beast that I'm becoming more familiar with, and disliking more each time I toy with it. I'd like to move to something I and my team are more familiar with, and can better maintain/update/enhance.
So far I've tried (for Node.js) passport-saml and samlify, but neither have great documentation. I've also used python3-saml and it worked well. We're mainly a JavaScript shop, at least in my department, so Node.js would be preferable.3 -
Started by viewing the source of basic sites to learn html. Told the IT director of the company I was working at that I wanted to get into programming and he handed me a ColdFusion programming book. By the 4th chapter I was full time in the IT department and subsequently the last one to leave when the doors shut on that business.
That was almost 18 years ago long before YouTube and Treehouse and all these coding bootcamps. -
it was all fun and games but suddenly i get a bit nervous since my software will be responsible for almost all aspects of our department from monday on 😱6
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!rant
My friend is using his brothers office laptop for his personal use. Apparently his brothers IT department gave him a new laptop but forgot to collect the old laptop.
I feel this is unethical. What do I do such that the laptop is returned to company without my name coming out? I initially wanted to delete user account but laptop has an administrator account. Any ideas?8 -
So, it has been 36 hours and my ISP still hasn't figured out why in the flying fuck I have no internet. I'm now sure that everyone who works in their technical department is incompetent.3
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That moment when you get asked if you know a language and database that your shop has never used, because an ex-employee in a different department decided to build a mission critical app on their own accord, and it just went tits up.
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Started my company with a professor of the department, a month later I get a great contract and the prof says:
"I do not allow it, you have to obey me"
Here I am, between developing the thing I love, earning a shot ton of money and the crazy ass prof who I thought was smart and would help me.1 -
During the cryptography & security lecture at the university I received an email from the university IT department with credentials to access the university cloud services. Of course, password was in a plain text.2
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I have kind of been put in charge of software development in one department of the company I work at. Only myself and a developer in the IT department have ever done programming as our main jobs and follow formal processes. The issue I am having is I don't know how to approach some co-workers assisting me part time with programming to tell them the code they wrote needs major refactoring. Just after a short review there are hundreds of lines of duplicated code and code that is duplicating features built into the framework etc. I just hate conflict and don't know how to tell them we have a lot of work to do. Any advice?2
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After getting contacted late about a change to a service for another team's deployment, giving me 2 weeks to complete, completed and the department meeting after the team thanked a lot of ppl but didn't even mention me or my team. I literally went to the hospital the night it was deployed to production.
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Years ago I worked in an engineering department at a renewable energy center. The project manager urgently asked me for a development to transform a format from one system to another, it was for the next day, and at the last hour of the day. The next day he only asked me how the subject was, I told him that waiting That the analyst of the other company arrived, that I had finished it the same day. A year later, this project manager called me to see if I had the development in question that the requirements had changed and we had to update it, six months later when I met the other analyst ......this is Spain :o2
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I absolutely hate release days..
Yes I am happy that it will never be a friday in my company but you can tell everyone at office that the page will be down for like half an hour and this a month before actually doing it and they still call you 20 times in that half hour while everyone at the IT department already knows about those important issues and we are already yelling at each other
at those days its really hard to stay strong and not start again smoking.. -
I want to make a project
student analysis system
It works as
Student will signin in the site and upload their academic detail including roll no. marks of all the semesters, and other academic details then It will give them analysis of their academic performance like what is his rank in his class, in the department, and in the whole College. It will also show that in which subject he was week, in which subjects in upcoming semester he have to work to secure good percentage and a graph of his performance till now and change in graph if he follow according to us. It will also show the placement probability.
Now my question is which tech stacks should I use to make all this?
I know HTML CSS JS JAVA CPP and a bit of REACT. Js EXPRESS. JS MYSQL.
I am ready to work with other tech stack also.8 -
Agency life where the dev department plays 3rd string to our Creative/Experience team and our Demand Gen team. Mainly because the leadership has no idea how to sell dev work?
Oh, and when dev work comes in, its on a super rushed/compressed time table where we've over-promised, and under-charged.
No margin on this project? Yeah, no shit cause you sold it for 50% of what we told you it would cost, dumb ass.2 -
Our IT department told me today that they are no longer suppose to grant us admin rights on our development laptops. I am not sure how that is even possible...6
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My university's IT department can't even install debuggers on the computers, so if we're on linux and need to debug something, we need to save the code to an usb stick, reboot to windows, boot a VM and install valgrind there (or manually install the needed .deb files, which ends up being even more of a hassle than just rebooting)1
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1. When we struggled for month with using OpenSSL, fixing our server, then bit of Sqlite3 fuck ups. Was it even right to use those libs, not write shit ourselves, if it is such a hassle to use them, or is it only us being too stupid to read the docs? Project seemed 'finished' for over a year. Really wore us out to get it out there.
2 Our board constantly announcing the success and striving of our pentester department. Makes me feel I am at the wrong place. No dynamics, growth, just too much stupid work to plow through.
3 Starting a bit with CTF's. Realizing I am hardly at the entrance of the rabbit hole. (And also is it even the right thing going down there? My Luddite tendencies also shining through...) Not mastering all this tools. -
Separation of duties.
I work in a fairly large IT department for a Healthcare company and for security reasons always having to involve application support or other teams even during development phase can be very aggravating when I have to ask for simple things like server log files. And the process to get to deploy in production is paved with bureaucracy and paperwork and emails that have little to do with anything other than just say, I approve, yet we are supposed to be trying to implement agile. -
We create home automation S/W and have it installed in the workplace.
For some reason the lights in the Help Desk/Testing department didn't turn on this morning. At the time our lead engineer was there too.
Rather then try sort it out themselves, they called R&D and got us to check the issue out. Turns out the lighting had been tripped over the weekend when the maintenance department was doing some work.
As we were investigating the issue they were just talking about their weekend so could of easily investigated it themselves! -
How bad is SAP really? I have seen so many rants about it, but it still seems to be thriving. It is used everywhere here in India. I work at IT department of a Hospital, and even they use SAP— the only complains I have heard is it’s cost, so they are slowly replacing it with Open Source alternatives like ERPNext.3
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Once again the department head fucks up my degree plan!
I'm getting my associates degree in Cyber Security. So we have to take networking courses and what not. So my institution recently became a Cisco certified teaching establishment or something along the lines of that.
The department head said that everyone who was enrolled in classes before the upcoming fall semester would have to take the new Cisco networking classes and not switch to the new degree plan. (We would take 3 Cisco classes instead of the new degree plan which is 5 or 6) so we planned and register for those classes.
Now he comes back and says we don't have to take those new classes. So it just fucks up the whole shit.
Switching to the new degree plan would add like 3 semesters to my total semester count and I'm supposed to graduate. August 2018
Fuck this new shit. Even tho I need Cisco.
I plan on taking The Cisco classes after I graduate with my associates degree while I'm going to a university for a dual degree in Software Engineering and Cyber Security