Today we interviewed a _very_ good Angular1 Dev, by chance we showed him the forked ngRouter module we use, after some debate he explained that we were using it incorrectly.. I asked if he'd used it before to which he responded:

"Yeah, I'm the guy who built it"

😅

Today I broke a record 🎉

..in the production database 😅

Me: IT call center.

Lady: Hi! I cant access the shared folder!

Me: Ok. I'll try and help you out. Whats happening when you click on it?

Lady: ok ok... {clicks}... Now it's asking me to entered my password. Should I enter it?

Me: Do you know it?

Lady: Yeah.

Me: yeah try entering it.

Lady: YES. That worked! Thank you so so much!!!

Me: No problem. Have a good day!

Recruiter: And I found your devRant account, it’s @brod right? very interesting stuff.
Me: ...

Me: I need a Windows PC to test my code on.
Server dude: We don't have any free, but I can setup an old server for you.
Me: 🤔 .. I'll take it!

We will no longer be accepting contracts which have an internet explorer or edge support requirement.

All of the front end devs are going hysterical and celebrating 😂 🎉🎉

Got a couple laughs at an interview for the software listed in my resume:

"Sublime Text 3 (unregistered)"

😉

A client who I freelance for just asked if they could invest in one of my side projects.

This is the best day of my programming career 😊

The worst one I've seen

I think I just broke the (only) USB C port on my MacBook so I’m racing to push about 30 git repos before the battery dies forever

Put headphones on when I got to work at 7:30am.. it's 3:10pm and I just realised I never started playing music 😑

Just saw an ad:

"I learned to code in 2 months thanks to X School and now I'm working at Google!"

Seems like now is the right time to dump your Google stocks.

Holy crap, just consulted with a company who wanted to fire the entire 6 person backend team because:

"They don't produce any tangible work or add value to the company."

Initially I didn't catch on, went to chat with the devs and realised the dilemma. Took 3 hours of (almost heated) debate before the higher ups understood the the value and purpose of backend devs.

This is a kitchen appliance company who recently moved into IoT 🙃

Me: **posts 🔥rant**
Me: **gets flood of devRant notifs**
Coworker: "What push API are you testing?"

😉

Still true

Expectation: arrive at work, everyone in awe of devrant swag, social status++

Reality: arrive at work, prod failing, get blamed, employment status--

Found a pretty cool company asking for job applications via POST request 😎

..almost incorrectly formatted my JSON 😅

Do any of you guys or gals sit outside and code?

Since 2009 this has been my primary work place (even in the cold and rain), I go to the office for mostly non-coding work and have a pc inside for serious sessions but I'd say 80% of my heads down dev time is spent sitting here. A little quirk is when people call or Skype me they'll immediately say "I can hear birds in the background, where are you??".

Anyway, I'm moving soon and thought I should share while I still can ☺️

Just had a JS guy try some Visual Basic, learning about types.. finally he got the error:

Stackoverflow: (...)

His response:

"Oh! Like the website! That's so cool! Hey Brod, look what I did! 😀"

It was the cutest reaction I've ever seen to a error.

lol, nice cookie banner 🤫

At the Apple Store in my devRant hoodie and got noticed by an employee..

Her: what's your username?
Me: brod 😬, what's yours?
Her: julia! Have you seen the new MacBook Pro?
...

Turns out, there's no @julia, now I have a $2,800 MacBook that I didn't need (nope, not the pro, just the shit one).

Programming as fast as you can because of deadlines

If programming languages where weapons...

1. C is an M1 Garand standard issue rifle, old but reliable.

2. C++ is a set of nunchuks, powerful and impressive when wielded but takes many years of pain to master and often you probably wish you were using something else.

3. Perl is a molotov cocktail, it was probably useful once, but few people use it

4. Java is a belt fed 240G automatic weapon where sometimes the belt has rounds, sometimes it doesn’t, and when it doesn’t during firing you get an NullPointerException, the gun explodes and you die.

5. Scala is a variant of the 240G Java, except the training manual is written in an incomprehensible dialect which many suspect is just gibberish.

6. JavaScript is a sword without a hilt.

7. Go is the custom made “if err != nil” starter pistol and after each shot you must check to make sure it actually shot. Also it shoots tabs instead of blanks.

8. Rust is a 3d printed gun. It may work some day.

9. bash is a cursed hammer, when wielded everything looks like a nail, especially your thumb.

10. Python is the “v2/v3” double barrel shotgun, only one barrel will shoot at a time, and you never end up shooting the recommended one. Also I probably should have used a line tool to draw that.

11. Ruby is a ruby encrusted sword, it is usually only used because of how shiny it is.

12. PHP is a hose, you usually plug one end into a car exhaust, and the other you stick in through a window and then you sit in the car and turn the engine on.

13. Mathematica is a low earth orbit projectile cannon, it could probably do amazing things if only anyone could actually afford one.

14. C# is a powerful laser rifle strapped to a donkey, when taken off the donkey the laser doesn’t seem to work as well.

15. Prolog is an AI weapon, you tell it what to do, which it does but then it also builds some terminators to go back in time and kill your mom

All credits go to Vicky from damnet.com

Anyone else here ever used a bit of bluff to land a job?

Friend: pls come out on my yacht, you can work from there..
Me: what about power and wifi?
Friend: it has 240v and 4G
Me: 😦😁

A software engineer was smoking...

A lady nearby asked him: "Can't you read the warnings? Smoking is injurous to health!"

He replied: "We are bothered only about errors, not warnings!"

Just got asked "How much experience do you have with the current JavaScript standards? I'm talking ES6 and ES7" in an interview with what I assumed were technical people.

I chuckled and said "I'm comfortable with ES8" as a joke but everyone just nodded and moved on..

Let me guess. I can't touch this?

Co Worker: "Your computer is missing a mouse!"
Me: "I require less dependencies to use a computer"

BBUUUURRRRNN

Fucking useless languages that compile into other languages but provide no real benefit other than some trendy syntax crap.

Stumbled upon this work of art this morning 👍

Was told not to use uuid‘ for security reasons. Just shipped to production.

Got some good news today, Australia's PM (Malcolm Turnbull) doesn't want a backdoor in encryption! All he just wants is "support" from companies to "access" their users encrypted data.

See the difference?

I don't 😒

Just reduced 900 lines of horrible code into 106 lines of less horrible code..

QA: do those 106loc really do what the 900loc did ?
Me: yes
QA: really?
Me: yes
QA: are you sure?
Me: NO. I was lying. Maybe it does. Maybe it doesn't. Maybe you should run it and find out.
QA: *immediately releases for prod*

I have lost a bet:

I, Brod, admit that, C++ is superior to Javascript in every way possible.

😒

- Wife logs onto uni website Saturday at 11pm to drop an elective, drop deadline is Monday
- Goes to course list and chooses course to drop
- "Course modification is available Monday-Saturday from 6am to 10pm"

😑 are you kidding me..

Like 😡😠 websites don't have business hours! Servers don't need nights or weekends off!! It's ridiculous to think that someone had to code this block for these hours, more effort than just leaving it always available.

Mechanic: How many km’s have you done?
Me: 21 😊

PM: Hey Brod, I know your really busy refactoring to ES6 but I think our Ruby app broke, could you fix it?..
Me: Ask Tom, he's the only one here who knows ruby he wrote the app..
PM: I didn't want to interrupt his Skype call.
Me: he's not on Skype, that's his face, he's taking snapchats.
PM: oh, well I don't want to really interrupt that either.

SAY YOU HATE ME. JUST SAY IT.

I took two days off and they figured hiring a wizard was the next best alternative..

When you didn't forget

> gets rejected from upwork
> builds alternative to upwork
> gets funded by old client who uses upwork
> origin story complete

Why did the developer quit his job?

Because he didn't get arrays.

I’m hopelessly brand loyal at times but after a day with Vim I’ve decided to jump ship. Ciao sublime ✌️

Has there ever been a devRant community hackathon? If not, let's have one!

Oddly satisfying devRant +1s

new office with an old friend :)

Just hit 1000++

..all I want is 175..

Asking a frontender to build sql queries. This company...

"Can you fix my computer?"

Left my phone in the car and proceeded to downloaded MacBook updates on hotspot 😒

PM: I spoke with x client, they really like x feature and want to continue.
Me: great, I'll let the team know.
PM: Yeah, I told your team already.
Me: Oh. What did they say?
PM: They all told me to tell you first, so you can tell them.
Me: 😏

lol, kms.

At first I was like :/ but then I remembered I actually bought undefined.host..

Just got a brand new car coming from a 1999 Honda CRV and holy shit the tech in these things is insane.. basically drives itself on HWY's, can start it from an app, does all sorts of weird stuff.. obviously it comes with risks of being hacked and all that but damn new cars are wicked these days.

Lead Dev: Just use jQuery, it'll save us from adding a whole new directive in Angular.
Me: 🤦‍♂️
Coworker: 🤦‍♀️

Fuck recruiters! I told them i want to work in a bigger company and my JS are not the best.

I just drove a freaking hour to a company who wants a diehard JS'er and exists of 4! People.

Assholes!

Sent HTML to google translate server side to support multiple languages.. actually worked pretty well but it made me feel dirty for weeks.

Our PM found a contractor, results as expected..

Contractor: "The file you supplied is corrupt, some areas are greyed out and damaged"
Me: "😐, do you mean the comments?"
Contractor: "I'm not sure what you mean 'the comments'"
Me: "Does the file work as expected?"
Contractor: "Yes"
Me: "Strange! I'll have a chat with our PM and get this issue resolved right away 😉"

...

if(!contractor) {
return Promise.resolve()
}

It would be nice if everybody could just leave me the FUCK alone and let me work.
Goddammit!

Kinda cool working on a project where you can talk to the team as you develop/test it 👍

Client: "What's our strategy for migrating from Angular1 to Angular2?"

"Start at 4am" .. they said
"Nothing will go wrong" .. they said

WELL YOUR COFFEE MACHINE IS BROKEN AND THE MAINTENANCE GUYS GET HERE AT 7 😡

Suddenly it hits me.
It’s 01:20 here but i get it.
It’s ALL a budget thing.

No dedicated tester means less expenses.

No personal parkspot?
No expenses!

And no good staging or testing environment? Less expenses!

Meanwhile every developer can setup, work on, and maintain about 20 websites on their shitty local Windows machine, that doesn’t even have a proper SSD installed, and we are setting impossible deadlines to figure out who will sink and who will swim.

Ow, here is a SSD.. Figure out the installation yourself because we have no IT knowledge or budget for people that do.

You want a challenge? How about 40 other people that are distracting you all day long.

Meanwhile everybody has to improve their skills in js, react, html5, ccs3, angular, .net and razor so money can made faster.

It would be nice if you could build apps as well.

You had a question? Sorry, no time. Expect some feedback 14 days later.

You finished the site?
Great!

But here are 101 bugs to solve before next week.

All hail their crazy company!

Goes to first job interview. Great interview but, can you send some code?

-Sure-
Sends requested js, css html files.

Great code, we want to speak to you again!
Goes to second interview, waits 15m, meets the sales department. Sales? Wtf?
Great interview but, can you send more code?
Errr?
We need some native JS to really make sure you can write code.

You could've emailed this request before the interview b*tch. That way id save time hurrying in rain and traffic jams!

If i'd get a penny for every time i typed backgorund instead of background i'd be so rich :)

Clearing the cache.
Tried clearing cms cache
Tried restarting iis
Tried browsing incognito
Tried deleting browser cache...

WHY U STILL SHOW OLD CSS?!?!

Apple knows so much about me 😄

..except the fact I use the metric system 😒

Client wanted to add "password usability" features such as:

Password1 === pASSWORD1

Him: Facebook and Google do it
Me: You're not Facebook or Google
Him: Well sure, not without this feature
Me: 🤔

It's always fun to compare webdesign to car sales.

Client: We want a car with 2 doors.

We: Here is you car with 2 doors.

Client: Why does the car only have 2 doors? This is very limiting and i think 4 doors work way better.

We: Okay fine, here is a car with 4 doors.

Client: Could you please check on the brakes, i think there is something wrong but i don't know what.

We: Ok we checked the brakes and they are working ok. So here is you car with working brakes and 4 doors.

Client: Why didn't you check on the exhaust? The car is generating big black clouds now...

It's never enough

Let's do some more of that epic coding! *Puts on Star Wars music*

Was in a meeting today with a team I just joined, I asked what they used to write tests.. they said they don't write tests because no one would see them..

This is crazy right?

The other day we had a little celebration because a website went live.

It’s weird

Somehow it’s easy to spent €100 on celebration food and drinks but it’s hard to sign a €90 paper and allow me to upgrade my computer just a tiny bit.

I'm a web application developer and work for an abattoir.

On slow days I sometimes I go out and pick a cow, give it name, scan its ear/rfid tag, lookup what farm it came from and how much it cost, then monitor it passing through the various production lines.

Yup.

Oh shit, grandma got a drone!

Any commbank developers in here wanna fix your stupid car loan application process where I need to know the VIN number of a car that isn't even built yet?

I got in an argument with a co worker, she says that mass surveillance programs are "none of my business" and I shouldn't care how they operate.

ACTUALLY, ACCORDING TO GOOGLE IT IS MY BUSINESS.

HN these days.. might as well be buzzfeed.. what a waste.

1. Keep your rythm: 7/8 hours of sleep each day and DON'T take your work home. Unless you have your own business ofcourse. Still: don't wear yourself out!

2. Put on music. Me personally like fast punk when i'm struggling with a deadline. Makes you want to go faster.

3. Close ALL communication like chats, mail etc. Hell i even thought of a sign "do not disturb"

4. Coffee. Lot's of coffee

5. Use a time tracking method like pomodoro

Just got made redundant 😒

Anyone need a web dev in Melbourne?
I have desirable skills such as working myself out of a job..

Setting up my latest regretful purchase and lol'd at this

Just had my first demo here. The resolution of the screen was set at 150% screwing more up then i hoped for.

I didn't dare to show the iPad version. I had seen enough bugs in those 10 minutes.

Don't put this developer in the center of attention. Please.

Great start to Friday

For a moment I thought I really fucked up

PayPal.

Found a nice method that does what you want? DEPRECATED.

Finally got that adaptive payment workflow all figured out? BREAKING CHANGES.

Want to use that new feature with your langs library? UNSUPPORTED.

Braintree isn't much better.

Saw this on Facebook and couldn't help but share here! 😂

A young woman submitted the tech support message below (about her relationship to her husband) presumably did it as a joke…
The query:

Dear Tech Support,

’Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as: Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as: NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and House cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.
What can I do?

Signed,
Desperate

The response (that came weeks later out of the blue):

Dear Desperate,

“First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Please enter command: I thought you loved me.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)
In addition, please, do not attempt to re-install the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend: Cooking 3.0.Good Luck!’

Good Luck!

Client came in this morning. Not even angry about the results so far even though deadline was a month ago. It's good to see a client as passionate about his product as this one

@dfox @trogus Was there any discussion about not displaying usernames within the feed? (eg, "posted by brod")

I reckon it's one of the best _features_ devRant has.

Im working on a big project with a coworker that is working remotely. Basically we chat and call every day.

Today he is in the office.
Comes in, doesn’t even look or say hi.

Nice working with you pal.

Fucking idiot lead dev who’s 10 years younger then me doesnt know fucking respect. Dumbass comes with every new framework there is:
- ow we should try abc.js
One week later
- now we should totally get in def.js. It’s soooo much better then abc.js!

Screwing up projects, asking for an extra pair of eyes and then asking wtf is this code.

Im out of here if we’re hiring toddlers for lead developers because they are willing to work 50 hours a week. I better get that raise soon.

Me: "I try to keep it under 400 watchers unless there's a really good reason"
Them: "Oh yeah, cool. So what's a watcher?"
Me: 😦

I just got asked to print out last weeks production data in the "pristine squiggly brackets format".

😐

WHAT DO YOU MEEEEAAAANNN!

When you see your rant in the Algo

I don't get paid enough for this.. 😔

"This page seems a little unresponsive 🤔"

So, 5/10 minutes of discussion about a class i need in the code. This was with the backender.

Ofcourse the designer hears this, joins the discussion and causes another 10minutes of explaining that a photo is different then a video...

Meanwhile i took a piss and got coffee because i’m fucking tired of these discusseion. You’re a designer, why care about code other people write. Go draw something

Apple has the best UX:

"Type your password followed by the verification code shown on your other devices"

Louie approves 🐺

Did a code test at an interview, had to aggregate data from a db. They stored cities with population count and users referenced cities.. 6 cities had a higher user count than population 🤔

They were a little taken back and suggested the population data must be outdated 😉.. it got a bit awkward

Getting the first job, after that you numb the pain with the money. 😔🤑😣🤑

Old, bad quality and not mine. Still just had to share

That feeling when.. 😌

This whole week I’ve been writing Java (for the first time) and I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s a horrible language, written by horrible people, for the purpose of making other people’s lives horrible.

Fuck Java 🙂

Don't need a cat as an avatar. I already have a real one!

Just had the shittiest job interview ever. Had to do two tests. And since i was nervous as fuck and can't do proper JS i obviously failed!

Never used Gradle before but first impression is it's absolutely trash.
What used to take a couple dozen milliseconds now takes hundreds of THOUSANDS of milliseconds..

When the company spamming is also the service provider but fails to gracefully handle requests on their service 😒

I remember buying this and it's still sealed lol

Working as a new employee: no wifi. No work. 10 new tools to get familiair with. 41 new people to get to know. No workstation. No desk. No signed contract.
So far so good.

'Nuff said

@dfox & @trogus

Any thoughts on allowing people to buy their avatars (and others) as stickers? I understand I can just download the pic and get my own made but a built in feature would be cool - it'd be a nice way to say "hey! I really like your rants!"

Just throwing it out there 🙂

Warning deadline over due!Warning deadline over due!

Brace yourselves, long code nights are coming!

So yesterday i solved 7 tickets on my own for this project while the teammate was "testing".

Solved nothing and checked fb or new everytime i took a look at his screen.

Can comeone please fire this guy?

Tech Dept set all company phones to the same iCloud account and didn't turn off iMessage..

Boss + HR + random works all just realised they'd been sharing messages.

🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

Why does every designer has to be a complete asshole? Wtf is up with them? You take a day on your fucking design, i implement your fucking design, and then when you see it, you want it completely different again.

Yeah i applied for a job once without much js experience. I got invited for an interview and a couple of tests. The interview went well. I think the cognitive test wasn’t bad either.

However they wanted to see funky js shit i hadn’t ever done or see before and also was totally useless skill wise.

I asked if i could google answers (who doesn’t in their daily script job?) but i wasn’t.

I tried for like 5 or 10 minutes and then blurted out to the major CTO super tech savy master degree microsoft-o-worthy, that my js skills weren’t up for the task.

He gave me a couple of links to pdf’s with programming basics teached at a high school. Totally cool and understanding.

I walked away ashamed and probably red as a tomato. Excused myself for wasting his time and left as quickly as possible.

Started a new job a month ago. I’m the only real frontend developer here. I come from a company with 10+. Now i’m working with a old ux guy. Mr. UX teached me the usage of a styleguide. This styleguide is a fucking mess. The legacy code is a fucking mess. They way of working, up for improvement.
I have a dream...

Me to coworkers tomorrow: best wishes.
Me to boss tomorrow: Go f*ck yourself

me no speak the english

Anyone looking for a "try not to cringe" challenge.. Apple's got you covered!

So i had the second talk with this company today. The backend developer somehow expected me to know all four benefits of jQuery. What the hell dude?

Nobody knows everything.

I’m not a big fan of jQuery period.

Spent most of the day adding cute stuff to 404 and 5xx error pages..

Now to test user feedback 😉

God Apple, why tf does the Fill Screen / Fit Screen button only turn bright / change glyph sometimes ☹️

They hired a new person to come and help put with the project. This guy graduated a freaking year ago. Common guys wtf?!

Saying he is a full stack developer but unable to get a database running :’)

The competition for "coolest tech/dev mug" is heating up

99 IT recruiters on the phone, 99 IT recruiters.
Take one down and pass it around, 99 IT recruiters on the phone.

Ow how badly i want to punch the designer in his face

Why are my projects NEVER done?

Anyone else been lightly formatting rants and comments with **markdown** hoping for it to be implemented?

_I know I have_

How bout instead of "Disrupting space-time continuum" or "Moving satellites into position" .. you just launch your crappy app.

When google crashes your website with an IPv6 address but you can still see the error log..

I was in a meeting with the designer, the backend guys and a marketing person this morning. They talk about a frontender like i’m not even here.

I have a job interview this week so hopefully this will soon indeed be the case.

A primary investor in the company I work for drops by every few days and always smokes cigars in the coffee room and shuts the door..

My coffee and his cigar routines have never collided before today, I'm now trying to figure out the lowest impact server or utility I can shutdown that will cause enough panic to get him out.

I was just in a meeting. Making notes on my phone. Appearently coworker thought i was on FB or something and asked if i could focus. I was just making notes?!
He felt pretty stupid :)

Company is celebrating new awards. Whole dev team basically says fuck you we have better things todo and isn’t attending for champagne.

So i already worked 40 hours this week and i have still 8 more hours to go.

Made a shift from 08:30 till 23:30 and wannabe lead had the guts to tell me i could work from home.

Maybe it's not a bad idea to leave the office.

And fucking quit

Setting up a local website here takes a couple of hours at least. Worst case scenario is 2 or 3 days.

I have to do it in 30m and the pc didn’t even had IIS or Sql Server studio.

Socalled Sr Frontender... doesn’t close div tags. Common dude. You are as junior as they come XD

I was today years old when I realized I could unzip with 7zip a excel, word, ppt files. Which then lead me down a rabbit hole of finding other OLE type files.. altium schematic files, brd files etc

Last week: "let's build this page this way!"
Me: styles page
One day later: "no, that's build the wrong way, let's build it this other way!"

-_-'

If i can make all buttons on the website manageble.

Haha just asking for 300 changes in a single issue. Wtf

So, i helped solving 168 bugs for this website. Ofcourse, doubting every step since i'm still new here. Yesterday there was a meeting with the directors. Appearently they where happy a graded the site with a 8.5.
I finished my education with a 6. Not taking credit for any of the above...

So far i've been asked at least three times this week if i like it here.
I consider this a disadvantage...

Can someone explain what's so wrong with CSS?

My only issue is you can't set media query variables - which is totally not an issue with cssnext or similar..

Why do recruiters keep thinking they can contact me 5 months after i last spoke to them? Look at me LinkedIn. I have a job!

My iPhone has two pages for apps, the main page and not the main page - none start on the main page and few ever make it. DevRant has made it to the main page 😊

We had some PR’s this morning. Colleage rewrote an app. Restructured everything. Broke some things. Not a single comment and merged to master.

I get questions like: WhY dO yOu PuT a BuTtOnPrEsS aNd A mOuSeCliCk HeRe?

FOR ACCESSIBILITY ASSHOLE!!! SOMETHING YOU OBVIOUSLY NEVER HEARD OF!!!

I find it so frustrating that i have to do my frontend coding in the same sprint the designer is working out what i’m suppose to create.
This isn’t working people!
I have got jackshit to do because all i can do is wait for the design but mr. Designer is pixelfucking his ass off.

Seriously, i’m working here for a couple of months but already looking around for vacancies.

Had to demo i18n working to client with 45m notice..

Google translate the whole page server side and pray CSS behaves.

"artificial intelligence !== conscious intelligence"

If the brain is just a biological computer that statement is incorrect right? 😟

Are _we_ the robots?

Lead developer about Project X:

“Focus on responsiveness. That will probably take you the rest of the week”

The next day:

“Focus on functionality Y”

MAKE UP THAT MIND FFS?!

Started this day great with the mention that a coworkers contract isn’t suspended.

In August?

Thats in freaking 6 months. Workload is already fucking insane, and STILL you fucking decide to fucking fire another fucking person from YOUR fucking company.
This has been the 5th i think and my contract is due to July. If it is prolonged i’m thinking of screwing this company over my going away myself. Bunch of mother fucking idiots.

Ended the day great as well.
Heard that a new person is going for lead promotion. Haha.
He has been here for only two months. :,)

Left and right projects are exploding meanwhile i’m in the middle trying to cut the right wire!

I'm wondering if recruiters are just as irritating everywhere or that this is just the shitty situation we have in the Netherlands.

I was once called by an unknown number and heard a typical recruiter story. Since i never heard of or spoke to this person i kindly asked where he'd get my information from. Since mr, Recruiter didn't answer and just kept selling his great position i hung up.

He called back.

I picked up the phone again and he told me there were connection issues. I once again asked where he found my number. And again he just acted like he didnt hear me and sells his great position.

Hangs up and blocks the number. Go f(...) yourself damn recruiter!

Best wishes for the new year. Happy 2017 fellow devs!

Don't be afraid to make mistakes. Making mistakes is the only way to learn from them and grow. F*ck sh*t up and build it back up again but better. Fall seven times stand up 8!

Every time i got fired. So thats 6. At least in the past ten years. Every time i saw colleages get fired. So double that. Every 10nth job interview i went to. Maybe i should say i doubt my dev future every single fucking day.

Another fun thing. This morning one of the first mails i read was a issue about a bug in our software.

This was a bug i mentioned months ago but there was nog evidence where i searched like mails chats or tickets.

If people would just listen to me this bug was solved months ago but back then i got a reaction like: "works over here" while i tested it on two different instances with buggy results each time.

Just writing this because i’m stressed as fuck and i’m currently having my second sleepless night in a row...

Like i mentioned earlier i have 4 projects on my name. Two are on a real tight deadline, the other two are smaller, more support like issues.

Last week i got asked basically to get about 20 storypoints done in two hours by my Scrum master. Ehh no. Impossible. Wish i could do magic...

Yesterday i had to make a quick hotfix between the two bigger projects. Tried to reject this but had to do this any way. (It was basically the clients fault/content)

Also, f’d it up because there are current changes that are ready for deploy but haven’t been approved yet.

Do i get a f’ckin email this morning about how the progress wasn’t followed and the git permissions aren’t right.

You fucking twat! If i i did have ANY freaking minute in my planning to actually take the time for this damn hotfix this didn’t happen any way! You’re fucking restrictions only make things harder you goddamn motherfucking morron!

Developing a clothing shop and being bored. Adding clients like Napoleon Bonaparte with the comment that this person is missing a hand.

Recruiters have gone fucking mad! They are offering me a job in Brussels haha, this is at least a two hour drive away!!

Unless this job comes with a personal helicopter service, hell no!

I just realized i have a great talent for saying wrong things in a job interview.

Without any proper JS knowledge careeroptions are very limited... and i won't be able to pay my rent without a job :/

This guy... starts at 11. Ends at 16:00... And i’m supposed to work with him while my day is 9-17. No communication whatsoever. Great. Fucking great. Im boring my brains out meanwhile.

@devRant, we both knew this was coming..

I told myself for 18 months things like; ‘im being here, working here, and i like it here’.

Also when others left, nothing could break my confidence.

Present moment i’m happy to leave this place. This madhouse. This stressed out place where everybody keeps licking clients asses. Fuck this shit, i’m much better off elsewhere!

I am dreaming of leaving this company while the building burns. Or just before leaving, throwing my pc to pieces.

I wish i could scream: FUCK *company name*!!!

Appearently on of my coworkers is working while having a day off. Boss answered the chat with the request to shut the pc because he’s off today :)

In a team with 7+ Frontenders. Only one is vhecking my Pull requests. *sight*

So stress is back on. Justed wanted to work. Computer crashed.

Deadlines with Windows 10 isn’t a good combo. Booting takes between 15 and 30 minutes ofcourse. Site needs to go live monday.

Joy...

Crawling around in a legacy project. Need to rewrite 500 lines of SCSS, to regular CSS. Fuck it. Runs compiler, beautifier and copy paste that shit.

So, i started at this company about 4 months ago. So far i mostly worked in existing project and legacy code.

We started a new project for a pretty big client, and i'm the one who's responsible for setting the project up. The last two days i've been struggling with database issues. Finally got the site running locally about an hour ago.

And now i am running into troubles because i don't know how to set up a project yet since i only worked in existing projects.

Great. Can't say i'm not challenged here!

I have seen a developer implement lots and lots of breakpoints. For basically every pixel resolution a new one. Yes, it’s literally pixel perfect. No it isn’t maintainable in any way

I got my evaluation today. First time in a year that i had a talk longer 30 minutes. 1,5 hours was a bit too much maybe. After an hour i just wanted to get over with it.
Verdict: average
Meanwhile i could’ve improved my project...

oh fuck 😖

Rejections flying left and right and i’m getting tired of it. I’m already applying for a month and have been to 10 companies, made multiple assignments but it’s the same fucking story every single time.

Time for a goddamn careerswitch. Maybe riding a bus or a truck or so.

PC was slow as shit yesterday, but this is taking 1,5 hours...
So far for productivity

Was struggling today with some form elements and asked a coworker for help. Coworker start interupting immediately and doesn’t listen to any explaining at all. After trying to get a couple of points a cross he suddenly says: ok, i’m gonna let you finish your sentence...

Thanks twat! Next time show at least a bit of respect and start with that!

Heard yesterday this is my last week. I have 5 jobinterviews this week. Go!

Coworker and dev lead had a discussion about newsletter implementation last friday.
I told them, i’ve tried the setup before, it’s not gonna work, it’s behind an ip-block and they need a backend person.

Lead was convinced it was possible and started drawing stuff.

End result: wasn’t possible.

People really need to start listening around here...

Updated my Linkedin status last weekend. The recruiter hell is already starting. Everybody wants a piece of me.

Mondays: the amount of typos os too damn higg!

Working on a bug that in my opinion never worked. “Sr. Dev” dares to say the function has worked before. I’m a 100% sure it never did.
“Yes but everything is being tested before we go live.”

Dude, we have a monkey testing our stuff are you serious!?

Xcode and xamarin! Been busy for weeks to get the ios app aligned in each screen

I was promised a new pc with SSD in 2017. I got my own slow but complete pc back in 2018.

The progress is stunning in this company!

Since i hard problems with a slow harddrive i've been asking for a SSD. It took 6 weeks for a SSD to arrive.
It has been laying on my desk for another 4, because busy projects etc.
Last friday i decided to install it. I have to do everything about the install myself. No IT support nothing.
I've been trying to install windows on the SSD For over a day now. And now im fucking done with it. FUCK THIS SHIT. FUCK THE SSD. FUCK THE FUCKING PROJECT AND FUCK THE FUCKING CLIENT. Goddamn morons around here.

Last week i had a talk with my boss. Actually he more had a talk with me. Why i wasn’t able to finish my work the sprint before. I told him i had to run not one, but two project at the same time and on top of that had to show a new coworker around.

Some how i keep thinking about quitting this shit.

Also: Windows Updates are breaking my solution. Goddamn you Microsoft. Burn in hell!

This is getting kind of annoying now. Everytime i am planned for a (small) project, there is less to no briefing and nobody has a clue what to do.
Then how the hell am i supposed to?

Shoutout to any CommBank developers, I've been dreading going in to a branch to open an account - turns out it's only a 3 minute exercise using the website 😌👏 👏

Yeah he was officially free today but he still managed to come a couple of hours. Fucking asshole go fix your fucking code damn idiot. This whole site is broken. Thanx mr wannabe a leaddev. Hope you crash with your damn racecar

For the past days i’ve mentioned that i need a backender to create me an extra page in the solution. No attention was given. Backenders where too busy. Today we started a new sprint and i got asked what i’m gonna do.

I told them for the fourth time, i need backend work done to continue.
I got pissed.
Backender got pissed.

And in the end nothing will be done for this cause.

Fucking great.
Fuck my life.
Fuck these people.

Because i had some problems on sites in the past that were iOS specific i configured one of the leftover Macs here as a test device. A week later this laptop has been kidnapped and until now it is gone. I can start installing everything again on a new one because one of the fellow workers here is stupid as fuck

So ive been on this project for months. Project lead did not have a role anymore and now they decide this other guy is the new project lead. This while i am the one having to deploy everything and answer questions from mr Free Lance.

Holy crap i gotta find myself a new job, these people are going nuts.

Name a more 2018/2019 New Year’s Eve.. We used a new emoji in a commit message and it borked the CI pipeline.

Got a call by a recruiter for a function i already applied at and already got rejected as well.

That was a very fast call!

The procedure of introducing new coworkers here is still not clear to me.
I hear a new person is introduced behind me, so i thought i had to shake a new hand soon. But no.

I probably get an impersonal email in about a week when he/she has been working here for 4 days.

Yes and we recently opened a new office in Amsterdam. Because because from Amsterdam only want to do business with people from Amsterdam.

Well great. You think i want to go over there? My company has an office in Switserland. And the previous one in Curacao. I got here because i can bike or even walk this distance if i wanted.

Wow! My rights to merge work is just revoked. This is fucking bullshit. Whenever i want to merge my work the project lead has to do it. And when he’s sick ill have to go to the fe lead, who is in meetings 24/7. Fucking great

I was told to be more inclusive.
So from now on, i (void *) everything and compile with -w

Im done here with the discussions about the capabilities of a senior person. They are looking for a senior frontender and everything being said makes me feel less welcome by the day. Being a frontender myself.

Mark my words: they are looking for a replacement and i’m fired this summer.