I don't know why @dfox , @trogus didn't want a username with underscore and I'm sure they must be having some valid reason for it. But how in fuck did this user have the guts to rate the app 1 star simply because it doesn't have a login with fb feature? I mean you can request for a feature but it's dumb of you to rate 1 star because it doesn't have a feature you want. This is true for any app not only devRant.

Source : One of the user reviews of devRant on the play store.

Time to rest

o.p.c.

Turkish protesters against government trying shutting down social networks

Me: "We are gonna move away from Google services."

Him: "Ok. Just make it EXACTLY like Googles services. I won't use anything with less features."

Me: "Look, I can offer you something with more privacy and security under european law. It may not be EXACTLY like Google. If I could do that I wouldn't be here obviously."

Him: "As long as I'll work here I'll not work with something less than Google."

Inner me: AAAARGHHH FOR FUCKS SAKE!! I'LL STICK THOSE GOOGLE SERVICES UP YOUR ARSE SO THEY CAN SPY ON YOUR FUCKING GUTS!"

Me: "Well, in this case I'm glad that you are not alone to decide that."

How to send accurate feedback

A few years ago:

In the process of transferring MySQL data to a new disk, I accidentally rm'ed the actual MySQL directory, instead of the symlink that I had previously set up for it.

My guts felt like dropping through to the floor.

In a panic, I asked my colleague: "What did those databases contain?"

C: "Raw data of load tests that were made last week."

Me: "Oh.. does that mean that they aren't needed anymore?"

C: "They already got the results, but might need to refer to the raw data later... why?"

Me: "Uh, I accidentally deleted all the MySQL files... I'm in Big Trouble, aren't I?"

C: "Hmm... with any luck, they might forget that the data even exists. I got your back on this one, just in case."

Luck was indeed on my side, as nobody ever asked about the data again.

5 minutes downtime: "I lost millions because of you"

$100 extra on invoice: "it's too much I don't make money"

Thank fuck I was so early at work today.

As I did walk past the server room I heard something really loud behind the door. I was still in zombie mode (It was way too early, usually I´m here 2 hours later...), so just stood there looking at the door for a while.
Needed about 3 to 4 slow thoughts to decide what the fuck is happening.

My last thought was just: Man why is it so loud here. That´s the server room. Oh fuck!

The second I opened the door this rancid burning hot air straight out of satans anus almost melted my face off.
The servers were trying to maintain their cooling by almost puking out their guts with the those poor little fans they have.

Turns out one of the air conditioners failed and the backup didn´t start. So I started it manually.

Where the fuck is the admin? That´s not my fucking job!
What the fuck am I doing here so early?

* Grow guts to move from windows to Linux
* Spend less time on memes/gaming and more on projects
* Improve UI/UX skills
* Deploy a mobile app
* Learn Python for ML
* Dive into Hacking

Does anyone remember MUDs? Multi-User Dungeons — working on those in LPC was my first experience with real programming. Before that, I'd only made simple websites.

To get permission to program in one MUD, you had to prove that you knew the world, by reaching a certain level in the game. Death had consequences, with a level being lost, as well as risking loss of your items if someone looted you or your corpse was lost. This alone was hard enough to make most players give up. I played (and played wisely) to get there, being the first of my friends. It was hard work and fun.

After months of playing every day, finally, I was a wizard! Well, first, I had to convince someone else to take me as an apprentice, which was it's own challenge, because I was a 13 y/o girl. I ended up having to wait for an older male friend to get to the proper rank and get made a full wizard himself, because anyone else was reluctant (thinking that I'd just screw up or make them look bad), and no one was very happy about it. After some more weeks, I started programming my own content for the MUD, to share with others. It was a great opportunity to learn and express myself, seeing how creative programming could be.

I got called all kinds of names for asking questions and making mistakes, and I questioned why I even wanted to work with these people who hated my guts and didn't want to teach me anything, but I kept going. As I wasn't allowed to take computer classes in school, being able to do projects on my own like this was the only way to learn. I also became more stubborn, patient, and independent, which has always been necessary for this career.

Most importantly, I saw what could be done with programming, and was inspired to keep going with my own projects, no matter how much hate that I got for it. I went on to work on more games and software, often on my own. I always explore new technology, ignore the haters, and forge ahead with my own vision.

I remember my first "Software Engineering 2" class at University. The teacher, a pompous son of a bitch that later on gave proof of his vast ignorance, greeted us with
"so ... You call yourselves programmers, right? What's the biggest program you have ever wrote? Something along the 100, maybe 200 lines of code? ..... If you've never written at least a MILLION lines of code software, you're not a software developer"
Even at that time, with my lack of experience in software development, I had that feeling in my guts telling me "writing myself a 1M lines of code software .... Brrrr that's something I hope I'll neve have to do in my life"
Turned of he was one of those dinosaurs stuck with the love for gargantuan monoliths of software like they used to do.
Just to dive you the whole picture, the course had ZERO software development and focused only on how to manage wonderful waterfall projects, how to write all types of software documentations and the final project was ... Writing a ton of documentation so boring and useless that even he didn't care to read through.
we still laugh at the episode when another group asked us to borrow one of our documents and after one day they asked "hemm ... Have you really sent this to the teacher?" "yes, why not?" ".... at page 23 someone left a comment saying 'what the fuck is this shit?'"

Could all this fucking weak sick people just stay at home instead of coming to our damn open space office and be coughing their guts out ever 20 seconds for all the office to listen! damn, have some respect for the healthy people and go lie in your bed.

# Who the fuck wrote this piece of shit static, unreusable yet globally used, inconsistent, non-standard mock that breaks whole fucking test suite and makes me cry everytime I correct one thing only to find out it breaks another? I swear to god motherfucker I'm gonna find you and fucking cut you. Fuck you you fucking idiot and fuck your entire family if you still have one though I doubt anyone would ever want you for a son. [going on for a few minutes in my head] #

$ git blame

# well fuck you "me from 2019-11-15 15:30:25 +0100". I fucking hate your guts and I want you to know it #

We were 6 devs on a big project that needed to be completed in 3 months. Probably my first project as a full-stack dev and the work was very demanding.

The senior of my team was a very sharp and energetic, but also a very "in your face" kinda guy. Like, he was cool, but sometimes a little too much to handle for some people.

Anyway, this guy "Senior dev" worked faster (naturally) and harder than the rest of us and was always willing to help if somebody had problems with a framework, tool or other technology. Also, there was this other guy also a good dev (second best I would say) that just hated the first guy's guts for being "rude and obnoxious" as he put it.

One day, the PM and the senior had an argument about a major change that the PM had agreed to (just to save face with the client) that will force the team to come to work on the weekend. In the end he saved us the trouble of going throught that and the PM had to tell the client that the change wouldn't be made. From then on it went downhill for "Sr. dev" in the company. Until one day he was told that his contract was not gonna be renewed.

Short after, he showed some of us a screen cap. somebody sent him of an email from the "hateful" dev to the PM in which he wrote he had heard that the senior guy was leaving and he couldn't be happier because he was "damaging, problematic and a stressful part of his job". That was such a dick move, we thought he should get back at the guy.

So he sent a fake email to the PM using the "hateful" guy's email ID, that read:

"Dear PM. I'm sorry I said those things about 'Senior dev', I guess I'm just mad that he's a better professional than me and mad that I was born with no genitalia".

After the senior dev left I worked on one more project with the "hateful" dev and he was let go mid project for "not being proactive and making little effort on completing the project".

On highschool I took a special major in which we learned various computer and mathematics skills such as neural networks, fractals, etc.
One of the teachers there, which for me was also a mentor, is a physician. He taught us python which he didn't know very well (he wasn't that bad either) and science which was his true passion.
My end project was to try to predict stocks market using a simple neural network and daily graphs of 50 NSDQ companies. The result reached 51% prediction on average which was awful, but I couldn't forget the happinness and curiosity working on this project made me feel.
Now, 5 years later, I have a Bsc and finishing a Msc in Computer Science, and would sincerely want to thank this mentor for giving me the guts and will to accomplish this.

I am angry. Do you know why? It's a rhetorical question, because you don't know why I am angry, which is why I'm going to tell you why I'm so. I Followed my friend, " Jane Doe" ( you don't need to know her actual name) to this store in my town. Then these 14-15 years old girls came up to me, and started asking me about my braces. "Where'd you get it?
" How much did it cost ?"
I get these questions like almost every single, and it's annoying. 😒
This one question got me angry. "What 'if' her braces are fake?" A girl said whispering to her friend.
Fake??? My braces are realer than you could ever be, jealous bitch. I said that in my mind, I don't have the guts to say it out loud, besides these girls look like they could tear me to pieces, and I wanted no conflict. I walked away as soon as my friend got her stuffs from the store.
My friend couldn't help but to tease me that I'm a doormat. I guess she's right. 🤔☹😤😟😖

this made me laugh...

I'd say one of the best advice a dev gave me, was that, I should not write duplicate code, but rewrite these parts to a single function.

And another one: If you use specific values in the code, instead of putting it in multiple places, assign it to a variable at one place and use the variable later on.

These advices sound quite trivial, but I think every beginner should learn these as eary as possible.
Boiiii have I seen shitty code from people who don't give a hobo's ass about maintainable code.

Be a good coder.
Write for quality, not quantity.
Care about your successor.

Thank you.
If not, I will fucking find you, fill your guts with napalm and light you up alive on a rusty pole while laughing hysterically.

Init and Hello. My name is git and this is my story.

I just arrived in this system recently by the apt highway. It's not the only way though. Some for example used the npm hype-train, others arrived from the ssh shore. No matter where we came from the next step on our agenda was time to introduce our self at the event destined for all new-comers to the system.
"As many of you I reside in the usr-bin district. I'm really into history and commitment! I like it when people work together, so I'm always eager to bring all branches together."
"But what is it actually good for?", asked Curl, which I already met at the bus station. Many nodded in agreement. It was odd. Somehow I felt not quite at home. All the others seemed so different based on their field of work.
"We have worked here in a really agile environment for ages. There is no need for any kind of strange bureaucracy.", said another voice.
All attempts to convince them from the beauty of history or a little bit of management were unsuccessful. It was just the beginning of a not so interesting stage in my life - to say the least.

Today was another of 'those' days. I live in this community for quiet a while now and unfortunately nothing really changed - at least for the good. I sat on my branch of the tree with all the others around and there was nothing really to do for me. Again. I mean, actually it's true. I have to admit it. There is just no work on this world for someone like me. All the others seem to be so busy, while I just have to sit around and question my own existence. Since I grew tired asking these questions to myself, I stopped it. I can't do a thing actually. That's not how this world works.
"Hey fagit, anything meaningful to add to our delightful conversation?", nginx shouted over to me from another branch of the tree. Before I was able to give an indifferent answer the voice just continued.
"Oh, sorry. I forgot that you have no purpose after all. Well, never mind!"
Everyone started laughing at me. It was not too bad by the way. Actually, this was quite ordinary. These fucktards completely ran out of creativity. If it wasn't for that mere emptiness gaping right above my guts, I'd actually be disappointed. I even got accustomed to the alias 'fagit'. Quiet sad given the fact that i really like my real name. If only someone would mind using it... First too quiet to notice but growing in intensity a rumbling emerged from somewhere deep within the tree. Out of a sudden everyone stopped laughing. The voices slowly faded while the growling from afar grew louder. It had come. Not more than a shadow reached out from the tree and faster than anyone could comprehend nginx was simply gone. Killed in an instance.

Disclaimer: This story is fictional. No systems were harmed in its creation.

That's it. I've had enough.

I lost my job yesterday (again) and the Irish cumstain who lives in the room next to me got pissed last night and kicked my door in because he thought I had his phone(?) and was ignoring him, when I was at work.

Long story short, he ripped my friends back door apart, tried to fight me (which ended with me chasing him down the street with a plank).

Police came and did a wonderful job as always by making us shake hands and 'promise' to leave each other alone.

THIS ISN'T FUCKING PRIMARY SCHOOL. DRAG HIM AWAY BEFORE I DO, YOU IGNORANT FUCKING PIGS.

Oh, and my 'friend' then had a schizophrenic episode and blamed it all on me(?!?). I then went to buy 2 bottles of vodka and decided to get pissed before trying to kill myself.

Ah, I love humans. Dirty, ignorant, blood sucking bags of sweaty meat and delicate bone. I really want to turn this Irish cunt into a skinsack of blood and guts, but I'm waiting patiently. He's going to wake up one night tied up and gagged, with me dragging him to a forest somewhere far far away...

Is it weird that I want to make him scream, cry, and shit himself at the same time?

My company has two offices in separate cities but they treat each the devs of each location very very differently.

In one office the devs get full power to experiment with whatever tech they want, they just stomp their feet and management gives em whatever they ask for, freedom of choice regarding anything they are working on, to be allowed to do greenfield work or experimental stuff

But in my office we are forced to do ONLY. Bug fixing and refactoring shitty code from over a decade a go, our tech is ancient and we are not allowed to to
Shit , anything we ask for is denied
And improvements to our process is shut down with the reasoning that whatever we got works so why meddle ??

For us , management is solely focussed on making sure we respond to support calls , deployments , configurations and little bug fixing. Basically they only care that we manage to finish for out next delivery.
No new work whatsoever!
If there is any hint of something new to to
Implemented the golden boys from the other office just stopm their feet tillmthey get it or just go off and start working on it then seek permission afterwards, with their much larger team they obviously get further than we do by the time management hears about it so they end up taking over the work since they already have more done already

My manager decided to push us to attend a company devCon to share ideas with our devs from our other location. This rapidly turned into a sour experience

Basically we do all shitty boring work which puts money on the table which goes straight to those idiots to play with...

They have the guts to laugh when we mentioned that we never get anything interesting to work on

Never seen so many of our devs looking up job sites on the bus back...
This is gonna blow up in management's face...

I attended a 2-days scientific conference last week which lasted from 9 AM-7 PM.
I submit my travel expenses today and the university adm got guts to tell me that
I should commute 6 hours everyday to that place instead of staying in a hotel.

Please people, I contribute making our research and name renown to the public. I don't even get paid doing that (did it for the sake of experience).
The least you can do is to support the accomodation. The penny pinching you did in the name of cost saving is embarrasing.

I didn't like every hour spent working in the uni, yet people still ask me why I won't continue to PhD.
No offence to all PhDs out there. It's just that my practical and money-oriented ass couldn't
stand all the free work I have to do if I do that.
I'd rather work in a supermarket, at least I'm getting paid of what I'm worth.
😕

After 10 years of thinking of getting into gamedev, I just joined a team game jam and it's going somewhere.

4 months ago I wrote a rant about how difficult it was for me to get into gamedev.

I guess I finally started because:
a) I'm not doing this alone
b) Another person takes care of the art

Regarding "a", computing, programming can be a very lonely task. I realized how much I missed the college years where I was paired up with other people to do something

There's something magical about being in a team.
You may not be a fan of your mates personalities. You may even hate their guts.

But working on something together, when everyone does the thing they should do, when things just flow... it's just magical.

When that happens, "all the bullshit goes away"™, and it's just you and your team sharing the same hope.

As for "b", I think I realized that, at least for my way of thinking, art (even in an initial, rudimentary state) is what ends up creating a game.

While I always tried to do it the other way around, first the game, then the art.

Maybe now I could dabble into pixel art and then use that as the thing that would define the game.

I was also an emotional mess for most of my 20s (and still kinda am, but not that much), so I guess that made getting into gamedev hard too.

Now, here's the negative part: the guy that does the art (and also codes) sucks balls at communicating and at git.

He takes a shitload of time to respond, doesn't address the things I state are important, doesn't join the damn trello, sometimes gives me some sass on his comments.
And he accidentally overwrote my changes on git three times.

The good thing is that he acknowledges his fuckups and fixes them.

I'm not really mad though. I'm almost 30, he's 20 or so.

When I was 20 I was a goddamn mess.
And it's just a week, and the pleasure of working with someone is far greater.

I'm an advocate of free software, debian specifically, hell my business runs on it!
But sometimes you just can't get around to use proprietry software. One of those is nvidia....

WHAT THE FUCKING MESSED UP NAGGING NARK SHIT NVIDIA!!! YOU FUCKING BREAK MY SYSTEM! YOU WONT PROPERLY COMPILE YOUR KERNEL MODULE, YOU BREAK MY X, AND ONCE I FIXED ALL THOSE THINGS MANUALLY(!) YOU HAVE THE FUCKING GUTS TO NOT EVEN DETECT MY SCREENS PROPERLY

WHAT THE FUCKING SHIT!!! NVIDIA YOU SUCK!!! MOTHERFUCKER DO I REALLY HAVE TO FALL BACK TO INTEL GRAPHICS??? FUCK YOUR FUCKING COMPANY AND ESPECIALLY YOUR LINUX SUPPORT

And no i am not planning to use ATI since they dont support EGL, what is a dependency for the gnome desktop...

a wild caterpie appears

Long story short a guy texted me on Xing, he had an interesting idea, I joined in and now we are founding a startup.

Short story long, a guy texted me on Xing. I usually don't give a fuck because there always just fucktards that want to offer me modern enslavement. No thanks you lifeless greedy hamsters! (no offense) This time was different though. It was not the usual kind of words and the idea sounded pretty awesome. So I gave it a try.

We met in a Café and talked about the idea and about my role in it. It went pretty well and we basically had a nice little chat, coffee and cake.

I was still not convinced. It sounded to good to be true. Why would something like this ever happen to me? You know that kind of feeling. It was like "Hopefully I'm not selling my soul to the devil now."

We now work on the project, already have 5 customers and are a step before the first financial investment. I'm pretty amazed how that turned out!

Now to disappoint you a bit more (or maybe to give you hope?) All I've worked so far (except that one little one-year internship) happend by, me talking to someone that had a job, me being honest about what I want and me rejecting anything that runed my guts inside out. That's it. I never really applied for something. I just get to know the people and with that comes the opportunity. Just be respectful, curious and honest. The others will notice. Chances rise that you'll find something you love todo.

The guts of Microsoft:
"Microsoft Edge is faster than Chrome
Based on a Google benchmark. Change immediately your browser"
Yes, when hell will freeze 😂

long rant;

How did I got into CS?

When I first got my laptop, I put on a password and forgot it. Nobody knew those things at that time around me (most of them, still don't) so I had to pay ₹350 (~$5) for formatting (OS reinstallation).
After a week, I again forgot the password and had no guts to ask more money from my family, because of the fear of getting scolded.

So, I took out the manuals that had shipped with the laptop, read them all. Found nothing.
But, on a very small page, a single line was written, "Insert the disc. Press F12 after pressing the power button".
I intuitively tried it and it worked (I had the OS DVD and no internet).

And I spent the next year experimenting with the windows OS (Vista).
Then tried all the other OSs.

Those were some times..2008..I guess.
Learnt OS without the internet. Nowadays people can't do it even with it.

What's your story?

I had this a while ago. Started a new project at my study (Application Development) and started working on the documentation. After rewriting parts of the documents for nine weeks (10 weeks for every project where I study) because they were not approved by my teacher because they didn't fit her 'personal preference/style', she even had the guts to tell me that I am a bad programmer because the application was even less than half complete. She only gave me one week to create the application that normally takes at least five weeks.

catch (Exception up){
throw up;
}

WordPress makes me a violent person. I just fucking hate WordPress with all my guts.
Fuck WordPress. F U C K WordPress.

I'm a student at a cyber education program. They taught us Python sockets two weeks ago. The next day, I went home and learned multithreading.
Then, I realized the potential.
I know a guy1 who knows a guy2 who runs a business and could really use an app I could totally make. And it's a great idea and it's gonna be awesome and I'm finally gonna do something useful with my life.
All I gotta do is learn UI. Easy peasy.
I spent the next week or so experimenting with my code, coming up with ideas for the app in my head and of course, telling all my friends about it. Bad habit, I know.

Guy1 was about to meet Guy2, so I asked Guy1 to tell Guy2 about my idea. He agreed. I reminded him again later that day, and then again in a text message.
The next day, I asked him if he remembered.
Guess what.
I asked him to text Guy2 instead. He came back to me with Guy2's reply: "Why won't he send me a message himself?".
So I contacted Guy2. After a while, he replied. We had a short, awkward conversation. Then he asked why he should prefer a new app over the existing replacement.
He activated my trap card. With a long chqin of messages, I unloaded everything I was gathering in my mind for the last week. I explained how he could use the app, what features it could have and how it would solve his problem and improve his product. I finished it off with the good old "Yeah, I was bored😅" to make the whole thing look a bit more casual.
Now, all that's left to do is wait.
...
Out of all the possible outcomes to this situation, this was both the worst the least expected one.
I'm not familliar with the English word for "Two blue checkmarks, no reply". But I'm certain there is no word in any language to describe what I'm feeling about this right now.
By that point, Guy1 has already made it clear that he's not interested in being my messanger anymore. He also told me to let the thing die, just in case I didn't get the hint. I don't blame him though.

It's been almost a week since then. Still no reply from Guy2. I haven't quite been able to get over it. Telling all my friends about it didn't really help.
Looking back, I think Guy2 has never realised he has that problem with his product.
But still, the least he could do is tell me why he dosen't like it...
"Why won't he send me a message himself?" Yeah, why really? HMMM :thinking:

You know what? If I ever somehow get the guts to leave my home country, I'm sending a big "fuck you" to this guy.

I. HATE. DELL. WITH. MY. GUTS.

Their low tiers products are full black plastic overpriced fuckshit, if you press too much the cover you can actually destroy your display. Fuck shitty laptops and fuck this shitty laptop in particular. It's slow. It's so slooooooow. It's everflying fucking slow motion, being on the web is like being in the matrix while dodging bullets made of wordpress plugins. The only good thing I can say is that is living right now, it has been... Three years? I only picked it because of high discount and ubuntu preinstalled (that made me think: oh, maybe they have components that are linux compatible regardless of distros. It was not). I'm enjoying Manjaro, when I'll have the skillz i'm going full Arch.

I will start university this fall. It's going to be a math major. I absolutely need something better than this anyway. I am also freaking out because I don't know which genre of software they could want to make me install and if they're windows/mac only. In the meanwhile I do photography, video, design and as you may suppose Adobe is often my go-to; I also have to build a workstation at home. I am freaking out because WELL FUCK WINDOWS 10 AND ITS PRIVACY NIGHTMARE PERIOD.

Which laptop I buy?
How well does heavy software run in a Windows virtual machine (on the desktop, not the laptop)?

I have a dev job and I earn good. More than enough at this age when I'm single.

My brother lost his business and has been sitting idle for more than 3 months now. Family gets cash but brother has nothing to do. He's into business and I don't even know what's going on in his life. I can help him with money and all but no idea how to ask, I'm younger and it will require a lot amount of guts for me to him, even when I ask I don't think he will tell me straight.

So, by a cruel twist of fate I ended up on the front line of tech support for the app we've built. It's aimed at non-IT professionals, in general people who are not expected to know too much about computers but who should have at least two neurons to bash together in their pretty little heads.

No.

It really makes me drop my faith in humanity considerably. Clicking a confirmation link is too much. Filtering an excel sheet is too hard, despite it being their technically main work tool. Tickets are basically "shit's broken go fix". What is broken? How to reproduce it? Why do you expect the person on the other side of the screen to be a fucking diviner? I recently ran all out of dove guts to search for the answers of your questions.

This rant is about people's random shit in devrant, as a matter of fact, please let me remind you of the meaning of DEV-RANT:

- Dev : technical people only
- Rant : You should scream your guts out here

Memes, Adverts, slice of life, all these weirdo contents are not made for this platform, you have instagram for that ....

So please people. stop telling us that you have ADHD or that you sell some shit because we are supposed to be DEVS RANTING, and sharing our missfortune.

Dev rant is a place where we can vent out, and be comforted by your peers ...

Fuck you spammers !

Why the fuck these managers can’t understand that you can’t build a full blown system with in a week. After building a demo driven application to show the client you can tell the client we are fucking ready to launch the damn thing . I FUCKING MENTIONED BEFORE GOING TO THE MEETING ITS NOT RELEASE READY GOD DAMN IT.

Now when I say we can’t launch this app we need to fix things . THE FUCKING MANAGER HAS THE GUTS TO SAY “one day is enough to fix the issues right ? Shouldn’t be a big deal for you to fix this” .

Kill me now 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬

Hm.

Was very frustrated from work.

Started cooking.

Simple gnocchis with tomato / paprika sauce.

Might have been a little distracted...

I've grabbed a regular sized spoon instead of a tea spoon.

I've handmade ungarian puszta.

I've added a full spoon of it to the sauce.

It's very spicy and hot.

I'll guess my guts are in hell mode for the next days.

But it's delicious.

Remember kids: always eat up what you cooked.

Even if it seems to kill you by burning your insides out.

Should I install it?

I HATE PHP.

I hate it with all my guts.
It's weirdly cobbled together, nothing fits for anything, it's a NON PROFESSIONAL TOOL. AT. ALL. PLEASE STOP DOIN' STUFF WITH IT AND REWRITE YOUR STACK IN COBOL/BRAINF**K.

I HATE IT.

I wish I were lazy and had the guts to tell people what to do. I'd make a decent manager, taking fat paychecks for taking my risks. And risks would be minimal as I'm from the tech background and I know what is what.

Now I'm neither lazy enough [I still prefer doing things myself] nor do I have the mentality to treat others as minions.

I wish I could change that about me. I really do. Maybe someday...

So i already worked 40 hours this week and i have still 8 more hours to go.

Made a shift from 08:30 till 23:30 and wannabe lead had the guts to tell me i could work from home.

Maybe it's not a bad idea to leave the office.

And fucking quit

My first job was 3 years ago.
I was tasked to create feature updates for a referral system.
There were two programmers in that project , both had left the company before I started.
There left no documentation whatsoever. They gave me a copy of user manual as my guide. HAHA!
Half of the code was in code igniter framework(wasn't even familiar with it then), the other half was hard coded.
It was a total nightmare. Wish I had the guts to call it quits then and there. XD

Important memos to future self:

If the specs the client gave you seem written by a confused pre-teen, run.
If the client says something like "this can't possibly take THAT long", run.
If the client can't pay you enough, but reassures that (in return) he won't stress you and let you work in peace without imposing deadlines: he's lying, run.
If he politely asks to do something but then when you say no he keeps insisting, Don't. Give. In. Ever.
If the project seems shitty and not likely to have success, but hey, seems also simple and easy: it's not. But it's shitty anyways.

And on top of all: trust your fucking guts, you've been right tons of times by now. You didn't want to do this but you forced yourself, because "it's still an opportunity" and stupid slogans like that. Never again.

More rants coming up.

1st

Working with a guy who I am not sure has the necessary experience to begin with.

The person who hired him told me to teach the guy for him to catch up to our project and its pace. He has some experience with Java. Which our project is being developed in java in a linux dev environment in a full stack way. So we handle front to infrastructure.

First day working with him and I saw this guy is trouble.

1st - doesn’t know effing git commands. Who doesn’t know git nowadays. Ok i can forgive him for that. But damn this guy’s learning curve is so slow. After s month of joining, he still has to look up the commands in his photo cheatsheet.
2nd - doesn’t know linux basic cli commands like cd, ls, rm. not an ounce of knowledge. He told me he is used to developing in Windows. Now this. I can’t forgive him for not knowing this shit. cd (change dir) even exists in windows command line. He even has guts to say to everyone he wants to try working in our servers. The HORROR!
3rd - not sure if knowing junit and matchers of hamcrest, if you are working with Java is a must. But this guy doesn’t understand Matchers of Junit. How the fuck did he ensure effing quality in his prev work.

All in all, seems like this guy doesn’t understand the basics of current development tools.

At 12:38 AM, I am working in the office alone on a project that I hate with my guts.

Since last month I am feeling nothing. In the morning I don't want to get up and go to the office. I do not feel any excitement in my job. Even I hate talking to people, I still have to join 4 meetings and talk to them.

As the Project Manager, I hate taking responsibility for other people's code.

Writing emails to stupid business people and talking to them at the meeting, I hate those people.

I have worked for almost 16 hours per day for 2 months to finish this project. Even worked on Sunday. The project is not finished. The scope and requirement get changed daily. The client has no fucking idea of what they want.

I have no fucking idea what I want to in my life. I just want to go home and get a good fucking sleep.

Whoever is reading this, I hope you have better time in your life than me.

And please tell them this will get better. I need to hear it.

I’m currently working with a devops team in the company to migrate our old ass jboss servers architecture to kubernetes.

They’ve been working in this for about a year now, and it was supposed to be delivered a few months back, no one knew what’s going on and last week they manage to have something to see at least.

I’ve never seen anything so bad in my short life as a developer, at the point that the main devops guy can’t even understand his own documentation to add ci/cd to a project.

It goes from trigger manually pipelines in multiple branches for configuration and secrets, a million unnecessary env variables to set, to docker images lacking almost all requisites necessary to run the apps.

You can clearly see the dude goes around internet copy pasting stuff without actually understanding what going on behind as every time you ask him for the guts of the architecture he changes the topic.

And the worst of all this, as my team is their counterpart on development we’ve fighting for weeks to make them understand that is impossible the proceed with this process with over 100 apps and 50+ developers.

Long story short, last two weeks I’ve been fixing the “dev ops” guy mess in terms of processes and documentation but I think this is gonna end really bad, not to sound cocky or anything but developers level is really low, add docker and k8s in top of that and you have a recipe for disaster.

Still enjoying as I have no fault there, and dude got busted.

I want to get your take on an icebreaker I was subjected to recently. For a 9 a.m. Monday morning training last week, the facilitator opened with, “Tell us your name, your team, how long you’ve been with the company, and a ‘scar story’. Pick a scar on your body and tell us how you got it. If you prefer not to talk about a physical scar, you can tell us about an emotional scar.” I am not joking.

As we went around the room, there were lots of blood and guts stories (gross) but people also shared really traumatizing tales, like an infant daughter being diagnosed with leukemia. The whole thing took 30 minutes of a 90-minute session. I was very turned off by the activity in the moment and even more so later after reflecting a bit.

Besides this one being in very bad taste, I find myself turned off by icebreakers in general. They feel forced and never seem to give you a useful introduction to your colleagues. I’m wondering if your readers have ever participated in an icebreaker they think was particularly effective or are these just a reality of office life we need to endure?

I was trying to book a visit to my doctor at the largest private clinic of the country... I wonder what would a normal user understand from this message? 🤣

way back in highschool, for recitation i fixed a bug in the code written on the board with a very small change. feeling proud of my work, i did a 'mic drop'-esque thing on the marker i used.

my prof apparently did not see the change i made, said to the class something about 'having guts,stagefright,etc. he thought i really did not do anything, and just erased the whole thing. i almost lost interest in programming after that.

after college though, graduating top of the class and all, the school asked me to do their website, it was kickass and the board liked it.

months after golive, i came across the same prof in a party for celebrating the success of the website.
i will never forget that "in your face" smug smile i gave him, and the obvious stumped look on his face.

sorry if its too long, here's a rant potato (:/)

go fuck yourself with your fucking communities. i went into computing because i like being left alone. who are all those fucking freaks building their communities? this is capitalism mother fuckers, everybody in the world agreed on it, on each person being an independent individual doing their job to the best possible standard, instead these low-skill low-iq oversocialised sheeple started conglomerate into communities and brainwash everybody that this is what it is about. get stuffed alright. all my life i've been introverted, just leave me alone to write code alright? take my library i don't mind i'll take yours no strings attached, just push the code and forget about it. but no, all these degenerate morons without CS degrees have occupied our safe space, pushed us out of it and just can't get enough of using the buzzword "community-driven" "volunteers" volunteer my ass assholes you can't even make software nobody in real industry needs you because you have no skill at all you learn a bit of js which is any 14-15 yo can do and now think you're some kind of prodigies, unsung heros of humanity who selflessly bring the progress. nothing can be further from the truth - because of you we don't have real software, we don't have investment we don't get no respect everybody walks all over software engineers treating us like shit, there's an entire generation of indoctrinated parasitic scum that believes that software tools is grown for them on trees by some development teams that their are entitled to automatically, because some corporation will eventually support those big projects - yeah does it really happen though - look at svelte, the guy is getting 50k a year when he should be earning at least 500k if he had balls to start a real businesses, but no we are all fucking prostitutes, just slaving away for the army of people we never see. are you out of your mind. this shit should be fucking illegal alright it's modern day slavery innit bruh, if a company wants to pay their engineers to work on open source this is fine, i love open source like java or google closure compiler, but it's real software made by real engineers, but who are all these community freaks who can't spend a 10 seconds on stage in their shitty bogus conferences without ringing the "community" buzzer? you're not my community i fucking hate your guts you're all such dumb womenless imbeciles who justify their lack of social skill by telling themselves that you're doing good by doing open source in your free time - mate nobody gives a shit alrite? don't you want money sex power? you've destroyed everything that was good about good olde open source when it was actually fun, today young people are coerced into slavery at industrial scale, it's literally impossible to make a buck from software as indie unless you build something really big and good, and you can't build anything big without investment and who invests in software nowadays? all the ai "entrepreneurs" are getting fucking golden rained with cash while i have to ask for a 5$ donation? what the actual fuck? who sanctions this? the entire industry is in one collective psychotic delusion, spurred by microsoft who use this army of useful idiots to eliminate all hounour dignity of the profession, drive the abundance and bring about poverty of mind, character, as well as wallet as the natural state of things. fucking amatures of course you love your shitty little communities because you can't achieve anything on your own. you literally have no personality, just one homogenous blob of dumb degenerates who think and act all the same. there used to be a tool called adobe flash builder, i could just buy it, then open and make a web app, all from start to finish in one program, using tutorials of adobe experts on youtube, sure it might have had its pitfals but it was a product - today there's literally no fucking product to make websites. do you people get it? i can't buy a tool that i need to do my job and have to insult myself by downloading some shitty scripts from some shitty unemployed devs and hope my computer doesn't blow up in my face in the process because some freak went off his nut and uploaded some dodgy ass exploit on npm in his package. i really don't like. it's not supposed to be like that. good for me i build by own front/back end. this "community" insanity is just a symptom of industrial degeneration, they try to sell it to us like it's the "bright" communist future but things never been worst, i can't give a shit about functional programming alright i just need to get my job done mate leave me alone you add functional because you don't know how to solve the problem properly, e.g., again adobe flex had mxml where elements had ids and i could just program to id, it was alright but today all this unqualified morons filled the whole space after flash blew up and adobe execs axed flash builder instead of adapting it to js runtime, it was a crime against humanity that set us back to 1000s

Someone's guts will be torn out tomorrow and put up on a nice clean razor barbed wire ...

I was wondering what the fucking fuck messed up my brain - till I realized that some dev mixed up the timezone on one of our servers. Dunno how the dev managed it - but the end result was not funny.

Due to the difference in time strings the newer backup had an older timestamp - and vice versa.

Which - when you want to do mass clean up and migration - is a very fucked up thing.

I had to manually check dozens of backups to make sure I got the right ones...

-.- knife goes in, gut goes out. Thx Bart Simpson.

My uncle's photos dating to 7-10 years. It was a massive collection of family photos. My brother took his laptop for learning development. Then we decided to install Linux into it. But it never came to our mind that there were that kind of a photo archive in a folder somewhere. So eventually were installed linux by removing partitions and creating them from ground. Everthing is lost. It's been more than month and we don't have the guts to tell him the truth.

I am so tired of fake ass people. Honestly, I think people should start firing more mfs in this industry, that way perfectly capable and hard working people wouldn’t have to be laid off all the time, and the harder and smarter workers can rise to the top and be way more valued. “No of course we don’t have the guts to do something sooo abhorrent as to fire anyone 🤵‍♂️“ - like shut the fuck up you rich ass bitch. I’d be willing to bet my life that your slimy executive ass has done a lot less ethical deeds on ur rise to stardom. There’s no point in rising to the occasion when it’s in vain. I’ll be damned if I put 100% into something that won’t allow me to grow…

Thank you google for not building firebase as a dynamic framework and making me loose 3 days of work. I hate your guts !

Im not involved in any projects at all anymore. My direct collegae is planned fully for the coming months. It’s clear everyone just wants to get rid of me.
If i ask the teamlead for feedback i dont get any.
If i ask the manager for feedback i get to hear he talked to the lead but he has no time to talk with me.

Giving me a compliment hurted his guts. Ive spend weeks just documenting bullshit.

All im allowed is to help out with tiny annoying tasks and i need to do them 10000% perfect. I’m a human, i’m not perfect. I accept the fact i’m not and so should they.

Anyone else bored to death with linked in but don't have the guts to break up with her?

Does the windows "optimization" feature which apparently is defragmenting in the background, and apparently "optimizing" ssd's differently of any use? The only thing I notice is that this function makes the icons of my desktop reload on a regular basis. My guts tell me it's utter bs and is just slowing down the system.
Any experiences, optinions, thoughts?

Week 1 Day 5 - Week 2 Day 5

"It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop" - Confucius

He had a lot of great quotes but I think that's one every dev who's ever worked on a personal project can get behind. It's been about a week since my last rant so I've got a lot to cover, I got a little busy so my progress has been lacking but I have two days off coming up and I plan on making all my meals ahead of time and turning my phone off to limit distractions.

So far I've worked my way through the first lesion on layouts and getting/editing views by the id. This seems pretty basic once you get comfortable with the topic. I'd like to think this will become second nature once I start to get into the guts of the course. The second lesson started working with internet connectivity and I've just started working through it. A lot doesn't make sense but at the start of the lesson one nothing made sense so I assume it'll all wrap up nicely.

I wanted to publish this two days ago (January 23) but I closed my laptop and forgot all about the rant so now it's two days later and I've made some progress, things are getting easier to understand and I'm liking it. I've also decided to start making something I've always wanted to while I work on android development. I'm going to start making an RPG I've been working on since my sophomore year of high school. I haven't written any code for my game yet but I've got the world development and story air tight. So as an ending statement, I'd like to ask anyone on devRant with game making experience how I should go about structuring my project, and some of the things that aren't going to be easy to find with google searches. I plan on, to the dismay of many other game dev's I've talked to, write it in Java because it's familiar to me and I would probably make a worse game in C++ even though that is the go to language. I'd also like to thank some of you repeat readers for silently encouraging me to keep going just by ++ing my rants every time, JoshBent and Dfox. It's been really nice seeing names pop up every single time.

Has anyone regretted wiping their Windows PC for Linux? Ive been wanting to wiped my PC for Ubuntu but I don't have the guts to do it. I keep thinking maybe I'll need Windows later.

Don't you just hate it when someone borrows things from you and they don't even have the common decency to give it back the way it was borrowed.

Like come on! You borrowed my charger and gave it back to me without its head. Then when I asked you to find it you got mad. Is your fucking head straight? You even had the guts to shout at me. Stop playing like you're the victim and get real.

So I just installed Android 11 on my OnePlus 6T with the 18.0 release of LineageOS. Screen recorder built-in that can finally record system sound and play it too (there used to be a Magisk module but that couldn't play system sound while recording it, everything else is just through the mic) and some doodads like the selection for where to blast your music into has been moved more into view... Epic.

And then comes the Scoped Storage. Oh boy were the Android devs right to hate the guts out of it. It's so fucking slow. Seriously, on that exact device with Android 10, blazing fast. That storage is far from cooked. On Android 11.. have a directory with a thousand or so files, and it takes 5 goddamn seconds to open the directory with them in it. And even with external file managers that you give storage access like usual! Except when you root your device and use a root file manager, then it's fast again. Because that's using the shell instead.

I never thought I'd be able to say this to be honest. The shell is faster than the native tools. Let that sink in for a moment. The shell is faster than the native tools. How on Earth did Google think that this is tolerable?! For security, are you kidding me? Yeah I'll just use the root account for fucking everything in all that security, to have a functioning system!

Android 10 was also initially planned to have this terrible storage system, but due to developer backlash, Google waited a release and it was optional there. That wasn't just time for developers to adapt to Scoped Storage. That should've also been time for Google to actually make it usable.

LinkedIn, if you have the nerves to send me an email, how about you also have some guts and tell me what that "notification" is about. Not that I care in the first place, but generally whenever I see the notification after logging in, I would think the same every time: That was a waste of time to read, even if it was in the email subject.

Like I care about some recruiter and his PHP shit when I've clearly stated as technology I want to avoid, have been deployed for 2 years and am using the tools I prefer.

I also don't care if I appeared in a search.
"Holy fuck, you appeared in that shitshow of a companies shithead recruiter. You better start celebrating like you won the fucking lottery and put your hips in a submissive position like a good boy"

"Thank you for using linkedIn, have you considered giving us money?" - automated bot of linkedIn stuff every now and then.

Is there some kind of fetish I'm missing that makes this an enjoyable or endurable experience?

I hate it when we have weeks of planing, i know that it is important in soft eng but yet it is too long. I rather get a prototype, test it and get real results instead of daily brainstormings based on theories.
People need to grow guts and test !

When you are right and in conflict with someone on some topic and they don't have guts to accept their mistakes but only to shame you for some reason, bring them down and fuck them up

!rant
Happy Friday "t-1h till Weekend" deployment

An e-mail told me to verify if this information for my domain is correct. Ehm I'm not sure... :D

I think I am going through burnout.
How do I deal with it?

Joined a startup with crazy work culture in Jan.
Have been working 14 hours a day for months starting march 2020, and even that was only to barely keep up with my colleagues. I have been one of the top performer in my previous jobs.

since the beginning, It always bothered me seeing people working on weekends, and falling behind if I didnt, to not have time for anything else, but I started really hating it a couple of months back.

Work has slowed down a bit now, but I just can't do it. Cant focus and get even basic tasks done. Still getting by with last minute efforts but I hate it!

Dont have the guts to leave the job, but also realise I am not doing enough and will get kicked out eventually anyway.

What can I do, to get over this?

A monitor
A lamp
A chinese pocket watch
A box with figurines, pens and die for DnD.
A box of pendrives
Ergo mouse
BT Headset
Guts of a laptop
Two identical bottles, one full of vodka, the other water
Five coffee cups
Thomas the cockroach in a sealed bottle. I found him today and I'm waiting for him to suffocate because he can fly and he's 6cm so I'm not gonna risk letting him out by opening the bottle until he's definitely dead.

Fuck... What am i doing with my life... 3years of college down the road learning android and nothing else, currently neither fully graduate nor employed. Can't make an app bigger or more useful than a fucking todo, can't use my skills to earn, Currently earning not even a penny, parents fighting everyday, struggling to make a living , am a fucking waste :'/

Those open sourcing assholes have awesome apps that i want to read, understand and fix their code, but they aren't gonna pay me shit. Plus they were the ones to have the guts to make full scale apps and open sourcing them, i can't make shit without giving them a month. How am i gonna survive 😔

The current finish of the whole network stuff is... exhausting.

We are in the finishing phase...

Like in the Simpsons:
Knife goes in, guts come out.

I've debugged today 4 h DNS...

One of the nodes - and the only node of 5 - didn't resolve one zone of many correctly.

It always tried to resolve via INet / Dot ...

So a _very_ special snowflake.

After going crazy... I decided to isolate the setup and increase verbosity for debugging.

It tourned out that the DNS server answered correctly - but was asked then again for a response by the defective node.

So I ripped out DNSSEC out from the DNS server, hoping the defective node would be fine with it.

Nope. It resolved then by itself via internet...

Well...
A lot of domain-insecure sprinkles later the defective node behaved correctly.

But why the fuck does _ONE_ single fucking stupid cunt machine decide to go rogue? Every node is equal....

It's just... Insane.

And reading the logs was insane too.

Have you ever been in that situation where you really wanted to start a pet project, but you didn’t have the energy to do it after work, but in the same time you didn’t want to work on your project you have been assigned to at your job, so you slacked all day because you didn’t have the guts to work on your pet project at your job? I’m pathetic.

The guts, i mean WTF?

Tried learning client side storage and the lord of the best practices (google) were like "WebSQL deprecated,use Indexed DB instead".. said fine,im up for skill level-up

...

That was 2 years ago and WebSQL is fully supported upto Android 7.1 yet i dont see no buzz about indexedDB, user s i have to support are mostly on Android 5.0 (which has excellent support)...come on...pick a side and leave devs out of your batshit crazy politics.

Am I the only one who hates it with his guts that most Active Record implementations infer fields from the db?

Which motherf*cker thought it'd be fun to imagine the model through several migrations, or to imagine the data types in the languague itself when looking at the database?

Let me write the model and infer the f*cking changes to create migrations, not the other way around.

Creative javascript encrypters:

((86.4E1, 0x169) > (1.116E3, 1.22E2) ? (0xE5, "k") : 0x96 >= (1.182E3, 7.74E2) ? (53, 1.56E2) : (112, 0x115))

just to write "k"

Why don't skeletons fight each other?

Because they don't have the guts!

Went to take a shit

But before i rolled my pants down i thought about having to waste time to roll my pants down waste time to sit down waste time to shit waste time to wipe waste time to get up waste time to pull my pants up waste time to back to chair and frankly.... i got quite overwhelmed already so i said Fuck off just stfu and shit inside my guts. And so i did. I refused shitting in toilet and got back to my chair to let my stomach now shit inside me and shit all over my guts. Fuck off. Dont give a fuck. Im too old and too fucking tired to waste so much time shitting. From now on ill have to hold my shit and shit inside of myself until i really really cant take the load and need to dump it somewhere outside my body

So because of that I'll literally walk full of shit. I'll be The Shit. Full of bullshit. Exactly how full of bullshit are the recruiters are the entire job market, and especially, how FULL of BULLSHIT is the ENTIRE CORPORATE WORLD

During my education there was this "Exception('Smoking hot girl')", and also very kind/sweet I used to help a lot, and tutor best practices on whatever project she would throw herself into.

(It should be noted that half of our teachers where incompetent, or flat out wrong, so we kinda had to use more than usual time helping other people)

But being a shy guy, and having the spine of a worm, I got stuck as a 'personal teacher' for a good period of time. Never had the guts to ask her out.

Not sure if it's selfish to focus your attention on one person because you liked the girl, that's a lot of time I could've used to help others. Or if I should be proud of what I did, I do believe she'd dropped out otherwise....

But nonetheless I did enjoy the time.

how do you handle the salary question among friend circles/relatives/strangers?

i come from a lower middle class background, and my friend circle's family were in similar ranges(some had richer families).

my parents struggled hard to get me into tech and fortunately tech is hot right now, so currently the today's situation is that if counting the individual's income (not the family) then i maybe the highest warner among them (1 is a lawyer , another is a teacher, another is an amazon delivery manager, plus there are a few others).

my problem with this question is that its none of their business. firstly, i am all that my family has. these guys have richer brothers, fathers and sisters their total income is way more than mine. and even if i earn more, i don't earn to be the rich spender of the group. and i neither can be their sole source of hope in case anyone ever needs any money.

and more so fucked up shit is the fact that friends are ruthless and starts discussing this stuff anywhere. like we are among the strangers for fucks sake!! and knowing the state i live in , some of these guys could follow me and burst my guts in the name of money, which i fucking don't have!

I'm new to Python and have been using PyCharm. I like it. I've tried just about every IDE on the market now excluding maybe a couple of the ones who don't have free versions and I always end up back to Pycharm.

I like how it's strict about formatting. My opinion it builds good habits. I watch a lot of tutorials on youtube among other things and I'm learning slowly but still I getting there.

My conclusion is that their seems to be a complete lack of consistency in the Python community regarding PEP and formatting standards. One person does it this way. Another does it that way. Makes it extremely frustrating when trying to learn because you have all these people doing things slightly different.

One guy says dont use camelCase another says yes. Granted some of these tutorial are a couple of years old and I know things change but I can't imagine it changes that much from 2 to 3 yeah but when you can't even be consistent with your spacing of your print functions or comments it's like nails on a chalkboard.

And thats just the beginning. I'm a tabs guy some are spaces. That's a whole other rant or whatever. Hardly the point really. Lots of different inconsistencies but I'm running out of characters.

Maybe im just not finding good videos. They all act like they know what they are doing and to an extent I suppose they do.

It takes a lot of guts to put yourself out their like they do ready to be scrutinized so you have to at least have a clue of what your doing. Some of these people have 10s of thousands of subs and I find myself picking apart every little thing they are doing and find many times they are teaching wrong standards. At least that's how I see it from the little experience I have now.

I'm just beyond frustrated and would appreciate any advice that a person wants to give. Keep in my I'm new and may just be misguided so try not to be to harsh if I've drawn an incorrect conclusion.

I just lost my rant. Luckily it's easy to recount. Whilst using Microsoft Edge to dowload and send same files without clogging up Google Chrome, after sending a file on its way, I returned to Microsoft Edge to discover my font size had been shrunk by 50% without my knowledge or consent. I decided to do something futile and useless : I composed a memo to Google: "Google, who the fuck do you think you are that you can make a small change that will anger millions of people? And when those people wish to tell you exactly why you have once again dumped unnecessary shit on them, you are unable to provide any information to help them? Fuck you, fuck your disgusting corporate ass kissing cuntery and fuckery. You are disgusting and inhuman. You make me sick, you make me wnat to puke my guts out."

time of weak blood.
a decaying sack of guts, old, bitter and dying rapidly mocks me for saying i'm lonely, stuck in the same prison, and he'll never be free, or know what being human feels like a day in his life before he dies.

Repeating story, here, isnt it? A dev dislikes a PM, a QA, a Boss. They don't understand, or have unrealistic expectations or say something "stupid"...

But it requires guts to work with other people, cause often the facts we devs have to tell isn't popular. But to lower unrealistic expectations with the bosses, isn't that part of being pro?

Wish *I* had guts...

Twitter developers will authenticate half of their endpoints with some authentication method and the other half with a totally different one (which doesn't work) and their sales team will have the guts to contact you to check if you're still interested to access their API.

My only interest is feeding your corpse to the ravens.