Hahahaha........😂😂😂. Now that's how to do it.

"Can you give me an estimate on how long it will take you to fix this bug?"

"That's like asking how long it will take to find my keys."

That's it I'm done with CSS alignment 💀

Client: how much for a face recognition system?
...
Client: well fuck you that's too expensive, I ll have my nephew do it.

That's it, I'm fucking done.

alias whios='whois'

😠

Frontend Dev: That's not possible in Frontend, we should do it in Backend.
Backend Dev: That's not possible in Backend, we should do it in Frontend.

-- CIVIL WAR --

Yes, that's how you do it...

Person: HTML is a programming language
Me: No it's not
Person: Yes it is it can compute things
Me: No it can't, and what do you mean?
Person: Have you ever heard of a script tag
Me: That's not fucking HTML that's JavaScript.

How did I learn how to program?

I didn't. I'm still learning ☺.

We will never be done learning.

That's the beauty of it all.

That's it, my days as a dev will end now.
Look what I just wrote :(

Handy guide to webpack:

1. Copy-paste stuff from internet until it works.

That's it!

Well that's just great isn't it...

Well that's one way to explain it

oh,that's it then....

Differentiate it twice...
That's how you get it... 🤓

When you're trying to optimize a process and a team members gets upset because "that's not the way we've done it before!"

No fuck. That's why we are fucking improving it.

So that's how they did it!

"And that's it !" - The biggest lie, every framework tries to tell you.

So we were doing Computer Network revision.

our teacher asks,' what is another method except GUI to send mail?'

I know it is using terminal.
'Terminal' I replied.
'No, it was something else'
'Console'
'No, not that'
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
'Command line?'
'Yes, that's it. That's what I m talking about'

FML!

Client: It works, it looks great! Thanks for everything!
Me: What? That isn't the new application, that's your old one. Your new one goes live tonight.

Notepad++: An update package is available, do you want to download it?

Me: Maybe next time

Notepad++: Sure, that's what they all say

(clicks on HTML tutorial video)
(ad starts playing)
"You need a website, why not do it yourself?!"

Arghhhhh that's exactly what I'm trying to do 😡

That's about right isn't it?

That's us 40years ago...

Guess IT was never sexy

Project Manager: You used a hash/salt to encrypt the password in our customer database?

Me: Yes.

Project Manager: That's mean we will not be able to see the password?

Me: That's the whole point. Why would you want to see what password customer is choosing?

Project Manager: Change it. Use random encryption method.

I accepted the job for Machine Learning.

I got hired todo the back end.

I actually do the front end.

My mobile phone provider called me and offered me a new contract containing more data volume.
Customer service: 'Your current contract has only 1.5GB data volume. That's not much. With this you can only send 1 or 2 pictures and that's it.'
Me: 'What kind of pictures do you use / send? 😨'

That's the only thing I use it for. 😂

AWS has identified suspicious activity on my account.

I'm using it for the first time in 2 years. That's the suspicious activity.

That feeling of when you finish a year long project, showing it off to family and getting a "huh that's it?" response. I just poured all being into this, it's okay. 😐

Oh yeah that.

That's a known bug.

It's been there for a long time now and the customer knows about it.

We ship it as expected behaviour now.

That's a new one on me fixing a website on my phone whilst on a train , internet dropping in an out

I did it 😎

Disabling pasting into a password field in 2020 with password managers, is retarded. That's it that's the rant. Doesn't matter if you think password managers are good or not. Its still retarded that there's a 40 something year old dumbfuck manager who told a web designer at EA to disable pasting into a fucking password field because he was dumb enough to think it stopped hackers or some shit like that.

damn, devRant made me miss my bus stop again...

that's what I love it for ❤️ 😁

Yes, of course! How did I ever expect this to work? I was really stupid not to see this. THIS was the logic error! Of course this couldn't possibly have worked. This will surely fix it.
.
.
.
*Still not working*

"CSS doesn't put the fun in fundamentals. But it can make it bold."

Oh my god, that's so bad is actually good.

Courtesy of Enki.

XML.

That's it that's the rant.

Websites that don't let you copy paste email addresses. Well then, I'll do it using inspector. You're not going fuck with me, that's for sure.

It's funny. Although I try to only use open source software which is free (at least as in freedom but also as in beer mostly), I'd gladly pay for using it!
But no way on fucking earth I'd pay for proprietary software.

Why?

Because I'd love to support the people behind the free software! They made something awesome and the most awesome thing is, they made it in a way that ensures that the end users can modify it to suit their needs! That's so fucking awesome!

That's why I'd never pay for proprietary software. Can it have awesome features? Yes, of course! But can anyone except for the devs easily modify it to suit their needs? No. And that's why I'd never pay for it.

I would say world peace, but that's had unlimited money and time into it and still failing, so I'll go for a sentient robot unicorn.

Who encodes a whole gif inside the main CSS of a multifolder JS app without any documentation as to what it is? My university, that's who.

Q: How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: None, that's a hardware problem.

Shamelessly copied of instagram (Obviously)
That instagram page probably stole it too, but that's non of my business

My boss when:

Conversation regarding passwords:

Me: "It should be longer than that"
Other dev: "That's what she said"

*taking note of the inappropriate-ness*

Me: "We need to get a room for us"
PM: "That's what she said"
Me: "Come on Ryan!"
Other dev: "That's what she said"
Sales Lady: "This will never end!"
Me: "That's what she said!"

Office dies for a minute. Michael Scott would be proud.

That's it. I am going to learn HTML. Like really, really learn it.
And after that, I am going to learn CSS. Like fully, totally learn it.

Nah .. I am fine.

*sees people on Facebook wanting to get Linux certificates*
Me: naah that's not how I'ma do it

*at le job interview*
Interviewer: "So you apply as a sysadmin.. what are your skills? Certificates?"
Me: "No certificates sir.. but I USE ARCH LINUX 😎"
Me (quietly): "and Ubuntu Server too but that's not as cool :v"

That's it, I'm moving to Sweden.

Friend: "if it's a CLOUD server... What happens to all that data when it rains? I don't think that's too secure.🤔"

Me:"..."

"..."

"I can't"

That's good, Windows; don't actually fix the problem, just restart it... 😐

That's a real PR BTW
And it was merged actually

Headphones on, phone's screen facing the desk, 0 shits given about the world around me. That's pretty much it.

Yep... That's probably how it actually is and why everything I get is high priority...

that's quite accurate :) ofc there are exceptions (looking at you two naughty bois, metaspace and off-heap allocations!), but it's true for the most of it :)

Well that's a nice way of fucking saying it...

I honestly don't understand why some developers like to shit on other's preferences.

Don't like PHP? Fine, but don't give shit to somebody else for liking it or coding in it.

Not a fan of Javascript? That's cool, but do realize that there are people who enjoy coding with it and don't appreciate you talking shit about their preferences.

Don't like a certain framework? That's okay, but again, there are people who code with it so don't tell them that they shouldn't.

It kinda works and that's okay

*bunch of if statements*

Friend shouts proudly everywhere : I implemented an AI!

Me : but that's not how AI works

Friend : but it works just as an AI, so it is one, who cares?

😥

Manager: How's the site going. Can I see it?

Dev: ya sure

M: what's that

Dev: that's a * it means some restrictions apply.

M: hmmmm

M: make it a diamond

If ML algorithms mess with us, NO DEBUGGING... That's it, no MERCY AT ALL!!!

Make secure be secure Happy NewYear Everyone

Every time I hear my boss say "surely it can't be that hard" or "that's what, like a 5 minute job?"
*shudder*

Client: what is a browser?
😂🤣🙃 that's it I'm gone

Problem 1: that's literally all of steam
Problem 2: they don't police it now
Problem 3: just... All of this

Q: Why isn't it working after a whole fucking day of trying?

A: Because I'm a fucking idiot. That's why!

when you're the only developer at a firm and the client wants something bc "it's super simple, that's how ebay does it, just copy them"

My friend: I think WA. is very secured that's why I use it.
Me:

Well, that's official Android bug tracker. I should definitely visit it more often.

That's so true.. when those who will actually perform the work are excluded from the estimating process !

What do you think about it?

Anddddddd that's how it goes

There are people who say that devRant stickers arive when you forgot about it. They came earlier then expected (that's what she said)

Thanks @dfox and @trogus

Q : How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: None, that's a hardware problem.

Friends' Boss: You're one of the programmers, right?
Friend: Yes sir.
Boss: I need you to fix this layout problem for me.
Friend: But sir, I'm a back end programmer, I hardly know anything about style stuff...
Boss: You're a programmer, you'll figure it out.

That's not how it works, that's not how any of this works.

I want my '+' to freeze at '+1998'. Because that's when I was born and it would look cool. Please don't ruin it guys..

Stop using the term "AI" for everything. That's it.

Now that's more like it !

Thanks @dfox you guys are awesome!

Dont get attached to your code at work! Coz it's not your code, you got paid for writing that code and that's it.

It is time. I have to admit it.

I don't understand Git.

I just memorized some basic commands: git commit, git push, git push -u origin master, git clone, git checkout [-B], git merge. That's it, that's the full list. I use them like they're some kind of magic spells that do what I need. Everything else, those intricacies like rebasing, resetting, HEAD and all that shit, is beyond me.

I'm not a real programmer. Real programmers know Git.

Idk how old this is, but that's the first time seeing it, and it's hilarious 😂

Me: Please don't commit the binaries
PM: We need to commit all the files so we can track process
Me: that's not how it works!

This is the type of coding that makes you go insane. It may be good for beginners but that's it. Also we have to use this because it's for a competition.

That's it. That's all I have for my home server setup. I don't even know why we have that sticky red thing, but today it came handy. And now I can SSH anytime I want, it's never going get shutdown 😂

Alright, that's it. I've had it with these fucking clowns.

Just got a message from a client:
"I want to do it good and fast".

That's gonna cost something man!! :')

Fuck fuck fuck 😡😠🤢🤮

That's it. No more to say.

Fuck

It's dead! The fucking coffee machine is dead. That's it, I'm going home. Fuck!

My first job was not exactly a job but a freelance project. The guy that I delivered the website to thought that I'd charge money each time I pressed a key on my laptop when we met.
Had to explain to the guy that that's not how it works. That's not how any of it works.

That's it. No longer will I play rap music while I type my alert strings; I'm about to be fired.

Q: How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb ?

A: None, that's a hardware problem.

*badum tsss*

!dev

People are a fucking disappointment. That's it. End of rant.

When someone asks me what is programming, I usually say:

— That's something like assembling Lego, but you also get paid for it.

Love it when my boss tests my projects and says "Damn that's legit"

Google Pay is about to support PayPal as virtual card (at least in Germany)
That's quite the finger to the local banks here
I like it

Document your code as you write it. Don't wait for later, you will never return to it.

That's it.

Me: what happens if you type 'echo PATH'? Pipe it to a file and send it to me
Collaborator: *sends me a 17,238 character text file of their PATH contents*

Me: that's no PATH; that's a space station

That's it. I've had enough.

I lost my job yesterday (again) and the Irish cumstain who lives in the room next to me got pissed last night and kicked my door in because he thought I had his phone(?) and was ignoring him, when I was at work.

Long story short, he ripped my friends back door apart, tried to fight me (which ended with me chasing him down the street with a plank).

Police came and did a wonderful job as always by making us shake hands and 'promise' to leave each other alone.

THIS ISN'T FUCKING PRIMARY SCHOOL. DRAG HIM AWAY BEFORE I DO, YOU IGNORANT FUCKING PIGS.

Oh, and my 'friend' then had a schizophrenic episode and blamed it all on me(?!?). I then went to buy 2 bottles of vodka and decided to get pissed before trying to kill myself.

Ah, I love humans. Dirty, ignorant, blood sucking bags of sweaty meat and delicate bone. I really want to turn this Irish cunt into a skinsack of blood and guts, but I'm waiting patiently. He's going to wake up one night tied up and gagged, with me dragging him to a forest somewhere far far away...

Is it weird that I want to make him scream, cry, and shit himself at the same time?

That's it, I'm fucking done with this fucking bullshit of a year, really, everyone is fucking dying, just end already

Beginners be like, "First rule of programming, If it works don't touch it". But experts will be like "Why does it work?". That's why they are called experts.

That's one action packed day in the life of IT ..

I hate dealing with time Zones issues fucking hate it , everything should be utc and that's it , Dammit !

Little me sees Monitor.
Monitor depicts Things.
Box make beep boop.

"Cool! But why?"

That's basically it.

Linux is hard to learn and master. That's fine with me. Windows is intuitive, but not user-friendly. Linux has a steep learning curve, but then is far more user-friendly than any other operating system. To me, that steep learning curve was far more than worth it, as I now have a desktop that does whatever I want, and behaves exactly as I want.

People come to Linux hoping that it will be easy to pick up, and then get angry when it isn't. Then they claim that the community is toxic, because Linux users are happy with something they think is broken.

Linux is hard to learn, and that's fine. That's valuable, to me. That's part of the appeal to me(and millions of others). Linux is unforgiving when you lack the knowledge gained in that steep learning curve. That's fine with me too. As its userbase grows, so too does the number of knowledgeable people who work to make it better and invent more amazing things for it.

If Linux was easy to learn, it wouldn't be as good as it is, and to me, that's reason enough to love it.

Inflation in Crypto Trading.
That's what it looks like:

Hate it seen people say 'hack' as in 'life hack'.

That's our word!

That's one way to say it.

Courtesy: @Floydian | Prismo.net

Best Linux distro for a grandpa?

I've just installed Linux Mint KDE and while it feels a little stiff, I don't know any linux that's better.

boss: *showing me the new platform*
me: "oh that looks like a good demo"
boss: "ah no that's the product! we're going to put this live"
me: "wh... there's no update nor delete function for anything! where is the user profile? where are the menus??"
boss: "that's ok, we'll take note when people start using it"

and now

boss: "we've concluded the product was bad and we're giving up on it"

Well, that's kind of ironic, isn't it?

That's how it all started ..

That's it. EU voted for universal copyright filters. Don't mind me, I'll migrate to the dark net

That's how it works 😉

Someone asked me how I learned to program. And I realized it was a series of telling a client "No that's not possible" then finding out it is, on Stackoverflow... And learning how to do it

Just wanted everyone to know that I did a find and replace all in my project and it actually worked as intended.

That's all.

>Linux kernel setup compiles right
did I finally do it?
>boots
>about 1/3 of the way through it hangs the machine
...that's about right.

Coding lessons 101, it shouldn't be that fucking hard to understand what a pointer is but that's where we currently stand

Bash and git. That's all everyone needs. Sooner they realize, the better it is. 🤓

I don't get all the amazement etc people show when they find out that I don't use services like WhatsApp, Instagram, Gmail, Outlook, Google etc, why would it be 'weird' to want control over who has/owns your data? That's not being fucking paranoid, that's being conscious about who you give your data to.

Windows. There, I said it.

3 years ago I got a Mac and it just made sense to me.

Many people don't like Mac and love Windows and that's fine by me.

"The logo and pictures are taking time to load, can you please look into it?"

That's the whole point of lazy loading you fucking moron.

That's one way to fix it.

Life is about wrangling, biologists wrangle snakes, porn stars wrangle cocks, I wrangle giant JSON objects.

I just found out about Caddy-Webserver.
That's it Nginx, I'm leaving you.

When you haven't bought the item yet but just want to inquire about it, give it a low rating. 'coz that's how the product reviews section works.

I got a rejection email today. No feedback. And that's it.

Worst part of rejection is not knowing the reasons.

"you got all that done in a day?"

that's what happens when you work *with* your framework instead of against it

Co-Workers. When I see their bad code and instantly know: "No, that's not the way to do it."

So today i thought of solving mathematical problems.

That's it.. i just thought 😂😂

I should better do coding

1 hour trying to record an image to DVD in Linux...
to find out I was using a CD, that's why it didn't have enough space.

The Bluetooth API for Android is a fucking mess.

So is WiFi direct. Good luck doing anything with it.

That's all lol

Nobody understands me
Does it matter
Not at all
I have my laptop
And it understands what I am saying
That's enough for me ;)

I wrote a Stateless module in ruby, now I can't stop looking it. I think I'm in love with my module.

That's normal? I need help?

If an error says that system is ok, system is ok and that's it!

0.1 + 0.2 ≠ 0.3

That's JavaScript.

And it caused me two days of agony and irrational bug fixing.

My first Dev job only lasted 2 weeks. That's about it.

Earn heavy money. that's it.

So.... that's it! :)
thnx, devs! ;

That's it. A year just passed, and here i am sitting in my dorm, watching from my window all those fireworks blazing, exploding, dazzling the sky.

I got no one to party. No one accompanying me.

That's all. Happy new year all!

Changing from Windows to Mac be like:
CTRL+C
***** that's CMD+C
CMD+C
CTRL+V
***** that's CMD+V
CMD+V

And so on until you get used to it 😂

My day so far:
"No, we can't just make that public."
"See this? That's a SQL injection..."
"We have output escaping, please use it..."

Some fucking users request for something irrelevant, that's just not the way it designed for

@$&#! Grrrr... FACEBOOK API SUCK, A FUCKING CATASTROPHE, TEN POUNDS OF SHIT IN A FIVE POUND BAG... !#&$@

That's it, thanks for listening, i'm out. 🙃

All I'm saying is that if we want speech completely locked down on all social media platforms, simply hire the StackOverflow mods and the problem is solved. Nobody will be able to post anything unless the mods believe it's worthwhile for everyone to read and respond to.

That's it. That's the rant.

I HATE

- charsets
- missing fonts
- timezones
- text layout directions, bidi

gnaaaaaaaarh

That's it. Thank you. 🐟

> laravel
> but also trans
> inside the fucking routes

Ok this is it that's where I cry

I'm not a Web developer, but I certainly know that's not the way to do it...

A trading bot for cryptos. At first, I just want it to do arbitrage trading. When that's working, I want to implement more complex trading strategies.

soy eating developer: * change the name of his master branch to "main" *

Me: That's it, you ended racism!

That's it. From now on I won't pay a penny for the game if it has no Linux port. No exceptions.

Lol, my boss wanted me to sign a one year contract for a shitty money, because "that's the standard in it". Well... no.

Do something completely different. Stressing about it won't help. Then when your head is clear and fresh again give it another go.

That's how I deal with being stuck.

You can save image on devRant! That's something new isn't it?

And teachers are interested in correct output. That's it.

Oh, fuck Cisco and their shitty VPNs. That's it.

Holy Mother of casts.
Just stumbled across a line that started with (((((( because it has so many casts in it...
That's why you don't use instanceof kids.

Wow. That's a new level of ratings.
Just read ratings like these below an ascii cam app(which works like it should):
"This is just a camera witu a mosaic filter, that's why you can't save the pictures as ascii"
"This is not real ascii because you can't save it as .txt or .html"

I don't think i need to say anything.

Last week: "let's build this page this way!"
Me: styles page
One day later: "no, that's build the wrong way, let's build it this other way!"

-_-'

I hate rdp (Microsoft remote desktop)

I just hate it – that's the rant

When are people going to understand that programming is not about quickly putting something together?

Programming may have its utility in helping us out building solutions, but that's a secondary function of it.
Ultimately and abstractly, as MIT professors said, it's about the imperative paradigm of solving problems.

I really dislike it when people treat programming as if it were a toolbox. It is a great engineering feat. That's like saying math is just about numbers. No, it is about concepts. We're thinkers, not doers.

"I learned C in one of my class at Uni, but that's pretty useless, nobody uses it."'
And that's when I killed him your honor.

That's it, I fucking love Ruby, I'm officially off Java (although I still use it).

Me: Hey what's the default password for this?
Classmate: password?
Me: yeah the password. What is it by default?
Classmate: no that's it. Just "password"
Me: :/

I like my job, but it might become hard to stay when another job that's closer and offering 40% more falls into my lap...

If you can't think of anyone else, does it mean that you are the most incompetent one of the lot? Huh, that's a sobering realization!

When you type date in your terminal to look up current date, that's when you make it to the nerd's herd.

C'mon CBA, get it together. If today is Friday and something happened on Thursday (AKA yesterday) that's "1 day ago". It is known!

Uhm, that's not how it works GoDaddy.

Apparantly it takes 2 hrs to bring a website back online (which went offline simply because the database was larger than 1 GB) after the DB size has been reduced... And that's exceeding my expectations!?

Well, guess that's it for the day 😊

Fam-"Woah that's pretty awesome! It sounds hard, do you like it?"
Me-"Yeah I think it's a lot of fun!"
Fam-"Good for you :) anyway, our printer stopped working-"
Me-"... I'veGotHomeworkSorryLoveYouByeeeeee"

Me - Let's drink coffee to calm down.

Brain - Umm, that's not how it works.

that's convenient...

IDK whether I should be happy it crashed or should I be worried because it knew where I was going and pretended to crash

Just finished silicon valley 1st season. That's pretty cool imo. Thanks to the rant who made me discover it 😊

That's how you do it!!

(Internal IT communication)
- Which one is the right email account for xxxx ? aaaa@ourcompany.com or bbbb@ourcompany.com?
- Yes, that's the correct one.

If it worked 20 times already, that's no reason not to back it up before doing it the 21st time.

Noo, it doesn't have to be responsive, that's not in the specs we agreed on. It just has to look&work perfe<khmm> decent on any phone and tablet.
- sneaky client

Arch Linux: the rick and morty of the linux world

except with at least 1 (one) benefit i can cite

pacman + pacaur

that's about it

Why don't managers/team-leads take into account the time that you get stuck on something that's stupid to ask but it eats up your hours :(

PM: That's a great idea. We'll look at implementing it.

... never implemented

Rule #1 about devRant... No names. Never know when they'll sign up, see it, and make the connection. That's gonna make for some awkward elevator silence.

Current life status - 7-8 hours of straight coding everyday and a half an hour brake that's it

I guess the dev community is very fierce and unforgiving. That's what I don't like about it.

Cool. I've installed a time paradox! All that's left is to figure out how to leverage it to my benefit...

"Do you know you can even download images via Google search and save it or print it? Guess what, that's the secret to my template images."

Hardware irony - clicking "eject" for an external HDD that's asleep wakes it up just to immediately send it to sleep again.

Well, that's how much it costs to hire a senior developer. I think I'll just go back to being a junior dev :-D.

"It might sound counterintuitive but that's just how it works..."
The absolute last sentence you would expect or want to hear watching a tutorial of a big & popular framework created by google.

I still don't know how I feel about programming tests here in my university being on paper. Literally, we code on paper and that's it. Teacher corrects it like a compiler.

How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?

None.
That's a hardware problem.

Employer want the software done in 6 hours. Must be robust , good quality and highly secured...

Yeap that's how crazy it is...

Just got a who is "article" in my Google feed. It's just a domain. That's it.

That's how I keep my cool in the summer.

A bit improvised, maybe a little unsafe, but it does the job quite well.

I'm very tired.

That's it. That's all I wanted to say. -v-

There are people who push code to GitHub and there are people who just fork your code on GitHub, and that's it. They don't do anything else with it.