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Search - "java meme"
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If Programming Languages Were Girls:
Java: Your current girlfriend, you've been going steady for a while now. Things are okay.
Kotlin: The girl Java finds you cheating on, she's just amazing, and you wish you'd met her sooner.
Visual Basic: The girl you accidentally started a relationship with because you didn't know how to say no. But quickly realised your mistake and regretted it.
JavaScript: A childhood friend you occasionally hook up with. But you could never settle for a relationship with them.
Python: A bossy, manipulative girl who quickly turned things sour. But everyone else loves her because of her huge libraries.
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My and a co worker were joking the other day about what programming languages would be like if they were girls. This is what we came up with (Original inspiration: the Distracted Boyfriend meme (Feel free to add your own!)).49 -
Here's a list of unpopular stuff which I agree with:
1) I love Java more than any other programming language.
2) I love sleeping more than working.
3) I'm not a night owl. I thrive the most during daylight.
4) I don't like or need coffee. Tea is fine.
5) Webdev is a huge clusterfuck which I secretly wish that could just die already.
6) Cybersecurity is a meme and actually not that interesting. Same passes for Cloud, Machine Learning and Big Data.
7) Although I'm a huge fan of it Linux is too unstable and non-idiot proof to ever become mainstream on the desktop.
8) Windows is actually a pretty solid OS.
9) The real reason I don't use macos is because I'm a poorfag that can't afford an overpriced laptop.
10) I don't like math and I hate that people push math shit into random interview questions for dev jobs which have nothing to do with math.
Post yours.279 -
Every fu**in time!!joke/meme funny android crash ++ shower java nullpointerexception exception c++ runtime errors meme/joke4
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At least, it was honest comment by developer........
Have you ever encountered such funny statement/code ?3 -
Man, I think we've all gotten way too many of these.
Normally most interactions that I have are through email. Eventually some would try to contact me via phone. These are some:
"Hey! We are calling you from <whatever company name> solutions! (most of them always seem to end on solutions or some shit like that) concerning the Ruby on Rails senior dev opportunity we were talking about via email"
<niceties, how are you doing, similar shit goes here...eventually>
So tell us! how good/comfortable would you say you are with C++?"
Me: I have never done anything serious with c++ and did just use it at school, but because I am not a professional in it I did not list it in my CV, what does it have to do with Rails?
Them: "Oh the applications of this position must be ready to take in additional duties which sometimes happen to be C or C++"
Me: Well that was not anywhere in the offer you sent, it specifically requested a full stack Rails developer that could work with 3 different frontend stacks already and like 4 different databases plus bla bla bla, I did not see c++ anywhere in it. Matter of fact I find it funny, one of the things that I was curious about was the salary, for what you are asking and specifically in the city in which you are asking it for 75k is way too low, you are seriously expecting a senior level rails dev to do all that AND take additional duties with c++? cpp could mean a billion different things"
Them: "well this is a big opportunity that will increase your level to senior position"
Me: the add ALREADY asks for a senior position, why are you making it sound that I will get build towards that level if you are already off the bat asking for seniors only to begin with?
Them: You are not getting it, it is an opportunity to grow into a senior, applicants right now are junior to mid-level
ME: You are all not making any sense, please don't contact me again.
=======
Them: We are looking for someone with 15 years experience with Swift development for mobile and web
Me: What is up with your people not making these requirements in paper? if I knew from the beginning that you people think that Swift is 15 years old I would have never agreed to this "interview"
Them: If you are not interested in that then might we offer this one for someone with 10 years experience as a full stack TypeScript developer.
Me: No, again, check your dates, this is insulting.
===
* For another Rails position
Them: How good are you with Ruby on Rails in terms of Python?
Me: excuse me? Python has nothing to do with Ruby on Rails.
Her (recruiter was a woman) * with a tone of superiority: I have it here that Python is the primary technology that accompanies Rails development.
Me (thinking this was a joke) : What do you think the RUBY part of Ruby on Rails is for? and what does "accompanies Rails development" even means?
Her: Well if you are not interested in using Rails with Python then maybe you can tell us about your experience in using Javascript as the main scripting platform for Rails.
Me: This is a joke, goodbye.
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To be fair this was years ago when I still didn't know better and test the recruiters during the email part of being contacted. Now a days I feel sorry for everyone since I just say no without even bothering. This is a meme all on itself which no one has ever bothered to review and correct in years for now. I don't know why recruiters don't google themselves to see what people think of their "profession" in order to become better.
I've even had the Java/Javascript stupidity thrown at me by a local company. For that one it was someone from their very same HR department doing the rectuiter, their shop foreman was a friend of the family, did him the service of calling him to let him know that his HR was never going to land the kind of developer they were looking for with the retarded questions they had and sent him a detailed email concerning the correct information they needed for their JAVAscript job which they kept confusing with Java (for some reason in the context of Spring, they literally wanted nothing with Spring, they wanted some junior to do animations and shit like that on their company's website, which was in php, Java was nowhere in this equation)
I think people in web development get the short end of the stick when it comes to retarded recruiters more than anywhere else.3 -
Hot take: PHP is pretty good nowadays.
I'm a Laravel dev right now and things just get done so quickly. Every language has its problems but the meme of PHP hate seems to be made more out of ignorance these days. You could find just as many problems with any other language.
For those that say I'm biased because I work through the framework more than the language, I'd ask don't you do the same? ASP.NET, Java EE, the millions of JS frameworks, all these also make your life easier within their languages.
In the end, work with what makes you happy and productive and be done with it.16 -
Hello devRant,
I'm new in your community. Okay, not completely new because I try to introduce me in the community and now I think, I know how devRant works and what I could do here.
But who I am?
I'm David from Germany. I'm a hobby developer. I develop lots of stuff, Alexa Skills, Google Actions, Mobile Application for Android and Websites. I'm in a one team member "team"🤣. I develop the background and I "try"😉 to develop the foreground. I develop since 6-7 years and I start with HTML (I know it's not a programming language) but next to HTML I learned CSS. Now, I could programm in CSS, JS, PHP, MySQL, JAVA, C++, PHYTON and I hope I don't forget a language.
But the main question: Why I joined to the devRant community?
The main reason is that I want to see jokes meme and interesting topics. The secondary reason is that I hope I could learn English in a different way. I hope I'm not the worst English speaker/writer.26 -
Me: *running my first Java program*
Java: Error: illegal character
Me: *scared* Am I going to Java jail or what?3 -
Aight i thought the java/script thing was a meme but for the past 20 minutes a dudes been looking at my js code, consistently calling it java4
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> Johnny Johnny
> Yes Papa!
> Using Java?
> No Papa!
> Telling lies?
> No Papa!
> Open your mouth
> NullPointerException
Ref :
https://youtu.be/F4tHL8reNCs6 -
Roses are red, Violets are blue
Unexpected '{' at line 32
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.
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Please don't brag about Python now😂😂16 -
You are into too much of Java when only camel notations seems correct to your eyes. Even in case of normal words 😝.2
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I didn't posted something in a long time so...
TL;DR: FUCK YOU ANDROID STUDIO YOU FUCKING SHIT PIECE OF SOFTWARE
Thank you for your time.
I am running my own meme social network. For quite some time I wished I knew a Android developer, which could help me.
Because I know java I tried it myself, and Android studio is one of the worst programms I've ever seen.
My app crashed the whole time, just because my studio version was 1 behind. Updated studio, everything worked.
My layout wasn't showing correctly, reopened Studio, all layouts deleted.
For no good reason video views aren't resizing, so I need to use exoplayer.
One video on my platform nearly crashes the app when creating a thumbnail.
And so one....
I fucking hate Android studio...
(PS: if your a German, Swiss, Austrian you could check out my network and may become a beta tester of the app)15 -
Great googly moogly is Kotlin an ugly language.
If you are just starting out with Android or Java development in general, I highly recommend sticking with Java and avoid Kotlin like the plague. It feels like a meme language that was taken a little too seriously.
Full of little flowery nonsense that aims to make the language more human, but only serves to make it look like a child designed it.
I absolutely hate when a language doesn't require type declarations.
The "it" keyword rankles my underwear beyond belief.
Trying to build a dictionary/hashmap/hash felt like I was writing out an essay for school. In other languages it's straightforward and makes sense. Even PHP makes more sense.
I am obviously missing something here, because there is no way something so common and done the same way across different languages has such a wildly different approach in Kotlin.
I have as much experience with Java as I do Kotlin but it immediately makes more sense as a language and doesn't have all this flowery nonsense. It is verbose, which means I don't have to decipher what the code is actually doing when I read it.
I'm familiar with the enterprise Java meme, but I'm not writing enterprise Java, and that's not my style anyway so it doesn't affect me. But even so, that would be a million times easier to handle that Kotlin.14 -
I would love to change the world but they won’t give me the source codejoke/meme sourcecode opensource source code open source joke but will be useful 😂😂😂 world joke truestory true story meme java6
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We code hard in these cubicles
My style’s nerd-chic, I’m a programmin’ freak
We code hard in these cubicles
Only two hours to your deadline?
Don’t sweat my technique.
Sippin’ morning coffee with that JAVA swirl.
Born to code; my first words were “Hello World”
Since 95, been JAVA codin’ stayin’ proud
Started on floppy disks, now we take it to the cloud.
On my desktop, JAVA’s what’s bobbin’ and weavin’
We got another winning app before I get to OddEven.
Blazin’ code like a forest fire, climbin’ a tree
Setting standards like I Triple E….
Boot it on up, I use the force like Luke,
Got so much love for my homeboy Duke.
GNU Public Licensed, it’s open source,
Stop by my desk when you need a crash course
Written once and my script runs anywhere,
Straight thuggin’, mean muggin’ in my Aeron chair.
All the best lines of code, you know I wrote ‘em
I’ll run you out of town on your dial-up modem.
Cause…
We code hard in these cubicles
Me and my crew code hyphy hardcore
We code hard in these cubicles
It’s been more than 10 years since I’ve seen the 404.
Inheriting a project can make me go beeee-serk
Ain’t got four hours to transfer their Framework.
The cleaners killed the lights, Man, that ain’t nice,
Gonna knock this program out, just like Kimbo Slice
I program all night, just like a champ,
Look alive under this IKEA lamp.
I code HARDER in the midnight hour,
E7 on the vending machine fuels my power.
Ps3 to Smartphones, our code use never ends,
JAVA’s there when I beat you in “Words with Friends”.
My developing skills are so fresh please discuss,
You better step your game up on that C++.
We know better than to use Dot N-E-T,
Even Dan Brown can’t code as hard as me.
You know JAVA’s gettin’ bigger, that’s a promise not a threat,
Let me code it on your brain
We code hard in these cubicles,
it’s the core component…of what we implement.
We code hard in these cubicles,
Straight to your JAVA Runtime Environment.
We code hard in these cubicles,
Keep the syntax light and the algorithm tight.
We code hard in these cubicles,
Gotta use JAVA if it’s gonna run right.
We code hard in these cubicles
JAVA keeps adapting, you know it’s built to last.
We code hard in these cubicles,
Robust and secure, so our swag’s on blast
CODE HARD10 -
I'm having such a bad day, that an exception object passed on to my catch block itself caused a NullPointerException.1
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FREE CHEGG ANSWERS GUYS!!!
HELLO THERE, I was preparing for my internals of operating systems using chegg and i found out that my subscription will end in just 4 days, so i was wondering if any of you guys want answers(any subjects) and don't want to spend bucks on chegg so i will post the answers free of cost for you guys.please follow these steps:-
Just copy the link of the chegg questions in the comment section and i'll post the answers ASAP.
You can also help any of your friend about telling this so i can help him/her out with any chegg solution for free.
#HELP EVERYONE waiting for many links lol... THANK YOU :) -
Today I found this while filling my examination form, I think somebody gone crealess while handling production db........
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When you don't compile small code snippet and keeps on writing lines of codes and after writing large lines of code that one moment when you start compiling your code for the first time
Brace yourself for errors 😕 -
First day at programming course: I will write a game engine
Last day at programming course: Can anybody help me?2 -
Sometimes I really don't know how else to put it lmao, I'm on the level of caffeine crash and overtiredness that I literally typed in "clear" to the Windows file save dialog. I swear Python has made me suffer for longer than Java has, and that says something. Help.3
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He couldn't sleep for 2 days because he missed her.
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I couldn't sleep for 4 days because I missed a stupid ";" in my code.
#Developers7 -
I'd made a feature that call's the rest service through the java code.
Desc - Calling controllers request by normal java method. 😑
Hope you guys understand this..