So, this random teen on subway asked me if it was 9GAG I was scrolling [i was on this app ofc]. I said it's better than 9GAG.
He went on like this "oh cool, does it have the the NSFW section too?"
...
Me: a...No, but can learn coding stuff
Him: hacking?
Me: hacking is not what you thin... [He interrupted me]
Him: Damn cool, I wanna learn hacking, it's my stop nice meeting you tell me the name of the app
Me: a...9...ha...ck, 9hack!
Him: cool, thanks. [Gets off]

(Um...Some people just don't deserve DevRant, if you know what I mean)

I'll just leave this here......

BF: If you were a database, I would join with you.
Me: Left or right?
BF: Inner.

(there are no words)

We should have a NSFW category for stuff like this *nerdgasm*

Thanks google

A client wanted me to make a website that compared the users face to that of a wrestler. We had done a lot of work, but now he wants to switch it...

to pornstars.

So, I guess the next week of my work is gonna be scraping porn websites. NSFW, for work.

Me, trying to create a LaTeX document: *googles "latex string comparison"*
Customer and boss walk in.
Google: *shows NSFW results*

I.. Let...- Let me explain, it's not what it looks like!

When people ask me whats the difference

What a guy actually wants

A customer called me in a stressed out state and asked me if I could get it up.

I kept my composure but politely told her to give me a little bit more to work with..

This is how recursive functions works

*me seeing rant with stress ball in the pic*
Me to gf:"look babe!!! Streeeeesssssballllllll :D I want one"
*gf points at shirt*:"these are your stress balls ;)"

So a videotron in my country has been hijacked, or self proclaimed hijacking idk

I misclicked an nsfw channel on discord and I got a dialog asking my age. I wasn't interested in loading the channel and you cannot close this dialog - it even reappears if you restart the app because the channel will still be selected.

I input 0 years just to cancel, which lead to an instant account ban and an email about scheduled deletion. In order to retain my account I need to send in selfies of myself holding my ID.

That's... a surprising user flow from a misclick. May I suggest a little x in the corner, as we professionals call it.

Am I the only here who get so much PUSSY when encountering bugs in code?
P - panic attacks
U - uncontrollable anxiety
S - suicidal fantasies
S - sadness
Y - yearning to death

please don't use company email address to register on a porn site

The state of the web in 2020:
discussion sites as a medium are dying. chalk that up to censorship.

reddit is an echochamber. twitter is mostly a marketing platform disguised as (anti)social media. instagram is a self promotion/wannabe eceleb site, and youtube is the new hollywood..quickly becoming irrelevant.

facebook is where I (dont) go to (totally not) ignore all the people important to me.

and email is where I go to send letters bordering on hatespeech to my various local and federal "representatives", in between borderline cyberbullying people stupid enough not to automate their spam marketing in 2020. or talking to left/right self-help grifters about the state of society.

in the grim dark future of 2020, the last bastion of intelligent conversation, free speech, and civility, the one shining icon of hope in a dark world..
is the comment section of pornhub videos where a women got stuck under a bed for the 50,000th time. And all I can think is "wow I never knew how easy it was to get trapped under a bed. They should look into fixing this safety hazard."

newsmedia has jumped so many sharks, the fonz now spins in his grave so fast we could hook him up to a generator. meanwhile people hide in their homes for a disease so deadly you have to be tested to know if you even have it.

while ever more car commercials
are released, set to somber but hopeful piano music to the tune of "in this time of social distancing its important to stay close even when we're apart."

Im beginning to think media has become a poison on society, both television and the internet, and like an ersatz cargo cultist worshipping the great-charles- manson-in-the-sky we should all take a page from the unabomber and smash our televisions with hammers before going outside and sawing down the telephone polls.

I jest of course. But there is no denying the inherent appeal of moving from the unsettling uncertainty of complex societies, driven by expertly manipulated fear cycles, to the beatitude-esque simplicty of pastoral protestant style living, sans witch burning and shoe buckles.

And against the reckoning of utopians who are still fresh from the womb as it were, wet behind the ears and smelling of their mother's pussy, I reject the notion that "up" is a synonym for "forward."
Were it the case, every drinking binge, followed by throwing up, would bring us, with each vomitting, one step closer to heaven. Rather the state of affairs is what it is, and what it is, like most of nature, is a cruel master and a harsh teacher. And while we may binge on digital delusions of grandeur and a greater society, rest easy in the nihilistic and sobering thought that we are little more than 200,000 year old cave men wielding magic bricks, and atomic bombs.

..where water flows more readily from metal tubes in our houses than it does from the nile. where food comes to our door at little more than our beck and call.
where we may bath, and sleep, and *shit*, cleanly, comfortably, and safely, wrapped in the (failing) bubble of delusion we all tenaciously grasp collectively, the thing we call "civilization".

an empire of needful things, wanton and fragile.

if we have not gone mad from boredom, I have no doubt we one day will.

it becomes more and more obvious to me every day, had war never existed, it would have been necessary for man to invent it just to have something to do, that didnt include farming, fucking, or building.

And so enters "political idealogy."

How would we ever have enemies if we were allowed to speak our piece instead of being given the means (and reflex dogwhistle training) to silence and destroy one another?

give a man a gun, he'll rob a bank. give a man a bank, he'll rob the world.
give him a media empire or a tech platform, and he'll lie about the theft and convince one half of millions of lemmings to hate all the other lemmings.

"NSFW" -
I *always* read it as New South F***ing Wales.

That moment when you're watching something NSFW on the internet and your boss enters the room.

And that moment later when you click the minimze button and the browser freezes for five seconds.

Badass: playing Exploding Kittens NSFW edition... at work.

"So, just show me the dirty and nasty things in this 'internet' thing...I mean, this nsfw stuff...c'mon..."

"How about the source code of my last project?"

<silence>

😂😂NSFW

I was just waiting for it to happen. The gaslighting charade finally crumbles.

Tldr: was strongly asked to work overtime again for no reason, refused it (weakly, but it is a start).

(Boss isn't actually my boss, just my unofficial lead at the moment.)

1.4 hours after regular work hours:

Me: boss, this issue is still not resolved but I am out of ideas for it. Already shared my last resort idea twice with you but you don't agree to it. If you are available I can meet you for a short call before logging off for the weekend.

.
10 minutes later, just as I am about to log off.
.

Boss: let's meet. The problem implies something wrong with your code. Let's check.

Me: [ugh] okay

.
Boss then rambles on about a juvenile nsfw joke to describe the situation and I force a laugh, we get to the topic. I manage to explain the situation despite the interruptions from him. Then he shares his genius idea. We agree it might work but the implementation will be slightly tricky. It is now 2 hours outside of work hours.
.

Boss: can you try it out and let me know if it works?

Me: sure, I'll try it out on Monday and keep you posted.

Boss: Monday?!! Look, it is getting on my nerves now, this has been going on for too long (false, since the issue is from a day before not a week before and I had asked for help multiple times before today).
I don't even know what big boss is going to be like. This needs to be done.

Me:. ...
[ You manipulative asshole, I'm not doing overtime for you, I owe you nothing and don't give a shit about your senile nerves. Fuck you and your shit codebase and clusterfuck development environment which makes the hairballs in a public toilet look well engineered.]
Look, it is difficult for me too...

Boss: If not now, I can accept weekend. Because I don't know how big boss will take it. You understand right what I'm saying. This needs to be done.

Me: [Fuck off scum chod! Take your acceptance, fuck it hard, and take it away with you! ]
Hmm. Let's see what can be done.
Thanks for your help.

Logged off.

I can't express the tone of his righteous rage in words.
I have never had to face such revolting attitude before from people at work. I just don't get how people can be so ridiculous. The whole team is filled with chodebags of different sizes.

You know you've been staring at code for too long when you see a function called getInitial(), but it looks more like a NSFW term.

I found this abomination.

Considering their habit of asking things with deadline 1 inch away from their ass, I have come to a conclusion that "majority of my clients are fans of anal love".

So I'm making money now...

Well, I'm still in 1981 Hell as far as serial connectivity goes, but we got boobs on the screen, because when we're working with DOS 5.00.2 BETA and 4 colors at a time, why the fuck not?

It ain't gonna code itself!

Teaching a relatives boyfriend VBA so he can edit macros in excel, he has an interview next week as a junior data analyst and this a requirement. This is his laptop keyboard. Pay close attention to the placement of ctrl, shift etc. and the lack of a backspace.

I went to flwater.com and it is not a website about Florida's water.

It redirects to this change.org petition? It's incredibly strange. NSFW banner btw.

[NSFW] This is how linus expends his free time

ah yes, i'm a VERY kinky Java dev

my favorite NSFW act is naming my java variables shorter than their data types

Do you guys have private chat community among your workmates?

Here at the company in working in, we have an official WhatsApp group created by our boss. That group is practically dead and boss is the only guy who occasionally posts anything. That is expected.

Then we have another WhatsApp group among us employees and boss or someone of that level is not invited in it. It's pretty active and fun group.

Then we have guys only group which is intended for guy talk and nsfw happens to be a part of it. Nothing surprising about that.

Similarly, girls also have their own exclusive group for their own stuffs.

I think it's inevitable and customary that such chat groups would be formed among workmates or classmates.

Anyway Just wondering, is this case same for you?... esp for people in US?

Have IR in your smartphone? You must try this.

Go to the nearest bar or a place where there is a TV show/match going on. Turn the TV off and run :D. (Order pasta run fasta)

That moment when you're dragged to a meeting with a group planning a dating app with custom avatars, discuss about what art style to use (realistic vs cartoonish) and the guy in the suit casually mentions he doesn't understand how there are people attracted to "hentai" and its related art styles.

😨

(NSFW) Some of the elite hackers I've met online

Employer uses IBM Software, which forces me to use Eclipse. I hate eclipse. Hate is a hard word. I'd never say, I really 'hate' a person. But eclipse, eclipse is what I hate. I can look at my smartwatch and see my heartrate rising, just thinking of how the fuck any developer on this crappy planet would ship that bullshit IDE. That saying, I'm totally fine with some bugs, using windows and so on, but eclipse... Is this a get-more-contributors strategy? Holy moly it really kills me. Hey, let's just open that maven Proj.. Oh, crash. Hey, let's install that "bug-free" version of the maven-integratio... Oh, crash. Let's do a global search over my worksp.. Oh, freezed. Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! How can this be legal? I mean, seriously, most junoir devs I know, just use Eclipse, because they don't know of any other "better" IDE (VIM would be better, even notepad). Is there anyone sucking professors cocks / vaginas to get them introduce that crap IDE to students?

polymorphism is the hookup that wallfucks you hard until you achieve maximum inheritance orgasm

suggestion:

by adding nsfw to your tags it should prompt a user that visits your rant with a confirmation screen detailing that this post contains mature content and whether they want to view it or not

I was telling MisterArie how to get into the productive mode and this analogy pop in my mind.

Getting into a productive mode is pretty much the same as having intercourse.

You just have to successfully start the first push and the rest will eventually follow along smoothly.

// Disclaimer : this analogy is from male perspective only since I'm one.

At work, do you ever start with a plan for your day, get dragged into some other 'urgent' task and then into another, and your plan becomes a sweet distant memory?

I was really tired 2hrs ago.... but then I found some motivation.

So basically I wrote an image viewer app (also has a scraper and a downloader).

The Viewer component loads each image 1 at a time... but these are like 4MB each so there's like 5s lag...

It's now 11:30PM and I have just finished implementing a cache so it pre-loads N pictures before and after the current one.

Now moving between images is so fast and smooth...

TLDR.... girls can actually motivate you to code some amazing stuff... even when you're tired.

I clipped just the top as well... the rest is NSFW....

[NSFW]
What are the odds of a game studio's co-founder starring a R18 decensoring GitHub repo? Welp. Today one did. And I saw because I found his GitHub after Googling (I switched to Duck in September). Welp. This is gonna be embarrassing for the guy. Whoops.

Repo is DeepCreamPy btw if you're interested in "researching how it works".

I kind of just came to an insight that my computer is sort of my partner in crime.

I "teach" it how to do something that I'm probably better of not doing or should do in moderation... But then it gives me access to so much of the stuff, I spend a lot more time doing it... more effectively.

So I actually don't save much time because it makes it easier so I now do even more...

I would post some screenshots but its uhh..... NSFW... at least this one is.

kinda NSFW

When you open a video from a friend, turns out to be NSFW, but it's okay cause you're at home, but when the video ends you realize you were still logged in to the company's Google account...

That moment when PM writes "click on learn more" on the whiteboard, but the 'c' and 'l' are too close together and it seems like one letter 😂

Oh my damn god,
I just found the remote-server plugin for vsCode and holy fuck balls, it's the one thing I've wanted from vsCode since ever.

When you dev in VMs and are forever working with remote code using SFTP and git on a remote servers, it's a pain in the ass.
But this, god damn this solves all of that, and with connection specific plugins, I think I just came.

So I just had this thought that nlegs.com (NSFW) kinda feels like a test.

When I first found it, and it still is, the front-end/layout is basically a BootStrap grid.

It was super easy to scrape.

Then over time, the owner made small tweaks and changes which felt like "oh you guys are still here.... let's make it a bit harder and see who drops out next"

So it got more and more tricky to scrape or fool the site.

But it never became completely unfoolable. I figured if he signed up for Cloudflare, that probably make it impossible to scrape....

Well I was curious today so did a whois.... And one of the things it mentioned was Cloudflare...

So now I'm like.... Hmmm.... What???!!! Ok.... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Am I the only one who's always scared out of my mind that there is gonna be some real hard ass purno blasting through my laptop speakers whenever I open it at work in the morning?

My room in my apartment: Gaming desktop PC, big monitor, privacy... cuz uhh.... I sometimes code NSFW apps like these past few days.

When you just gotta code...

Naaarf

Refactoring the whole day.

Someone who prefers while(list(...) = each(...)) or for($x=0; $x < count($array); $x++) wrote the following code, too.

if ($indexed == null || $indexed == "0" && $row[$x]["indexed"] == 0 || $indexed == "1" && $row[$x]["indexed"] == 1) ....

It's buggy. Why does this not surprise me?

This stuff. Whole day.

My brain feels foggy.

Probably i should just jerk off to her voice

- ok so I said I had to touch little bit of nodejs. It's a messenger like chatroom. Users data and the rest are stored in mysql. Chat messages are stored in mongodb. Found a funny issue. (Funny as in annoying that you just bang your head with your head while laughing funny) one mysql query in the node app is giving different order by result when you run it. I thought it was async issue. Turn out it's not. Said query works fine when running on phpmyadmin and the likes.

- I watched end game yesterday. And I'm sad. It's an end of an era. But also hopeful for various possibilities Marvel can do for future films.

- have you ever had such a great sex that afterwards she got serious headache and had to vomit?

If I have existing code stored in a local folder/git repo. What is the easiest way to upload it into Gitlab?

I'm thinking of SourceTree for the upload.

GitHub is sorta my professional profile. I want one for the old, unused, and nsfw stuff.

A few years ago:

Installing Visualstudio 2008 on Xp.

Pc is laggy as f.
Start browsing nsfw to kill time and boss comes over. Try to close browser and not working. Start to panic a bit. Boss comes over looking at black boxes.

Pictures didnt render. I was so lucky

I was just ordered by PM to remove my class wrapper and explode the massive contents into a function....
Why do I feel like I just had a dirty discussion with my parents... Perverted methods.....

Sorry I'm a bit late to the party, what's up with reddit right now?

People are mad because they want money if you use their platform? Like wtf? Of course they do so.

One comment I read had me screaming internally. "I'm deleting all my stuff, I don't want them to make money with my intellectual property!" Thefuck. They make money with the fact they give you a platform for your irrelevant opinion you asshat.

Tbh, I'm just afraid of all the porn I might be unable to access in the future. Does someone archive all and everything tagged with NSFW please?

The MS-Teams bot works.
Every ten seconds a random meme from some subreddits will be sent into a specified channel.

It's fucking glorious.

Only problem will be the NSFW filtering as it's my school's organization.

Yes, I know I there's my name in there but I do not mind.

Chinese remainder theorem

So the idea is that a partial or zero knowledge proof is used for not just encryption but also for a sort of distributed ledger or proof-of-membership, in addition to being used to add new members where additional layers of distributive proofs are at it, so that rollbacks can be performed on a network to remove members or revoke content.

Data is NOT automatically distributed throughout a network, rather sharing is the equivalent of replicating and syncing data to your instance.
Therefore if you don't like something on a network or think it's a liability (hate speech for the left, violent content for the right for example), the degree to which it is not shared is the degree to which it is censored.

By automatically not showing images posted by people you're subscribed to or following, infiltrators or state level actors who post things like calls to terrorism or csam to open platforms in order to justify shutting down platforms they don't control, are cut off at the knees. Their may also be a case for tools built on AI that automatically determine if something like a thumbnail should be censored or give the user an NSFW warning before clicking a link that may appear innocuous but is actually malicious.

Server nodes may be virtual in that they are merely a graph of people connected in a group by each person in the group having a piece of a shared key.
Because Chinese remainder theorem only requires a subset of all the info in the original key it also Acts as a voting mechanism to decide whether a piece of content is allowed to be synced to an entire group or remain permanently.

Data that hasn't been verified yet may go into a case for a given cluster of users who are mutually subscribed or following in a small world graph, but at the same time it doesn't get shared out of that subgraph in may expire if enough users don't hit a like button or a retain button or a share or "verify" button.

The algorithm here then is no algorithm at all but merely the natural association process between people and their likes and dislikes directly affecting the outcome of what they see via that process of association to begin with.

We can even go so far as to dog food content that's already been synced to a graph into evolutions of the existing key such that the retention of new generations of key, dependent on the previous key, also act as a store of the data that's been synced to the members of the node.

Therefore remember that continually post content that doesn't get verified slowly falls out of the node such that eventually their content becomes merely temporary in the cases or index of the node members, driving index and node subgraph membership in an organic and natural process based purely on affiliation and identification.

Here I've sort of butchered the idea of the Chinese remainder theorem in shoehorned it into the idea of zero knowledge proofs but you can see where I'm going with this if you squint at the idea mentally and look at it at just the right angle.

The big idea was to remove the influence of centralized algorithms to begin with, and implement mechanisms such that third-party organizations that exist to discredit or shut down small platforms are hindered by the design of the platform itself.

I think if you look over the ideas here you'll see that's what the general design thrust achieves or could achieve if implemented into a platform.

The addition of indexes in a node or "server" or "room" (being a set of users mutually subscribed to a particular tag or topic or each other), where the index is an index of text audio videos and other media including user posts that are available on the given node, in the index being titled but blind links (no pictures/media, or media verified as safe through an automatic tool) would also be useful.

NNNNNOOOO!!!!! NLEGS (NSFW) GOT SMARTER!!!

I give up... For tonight.... But not a simple fix :(

[NSFW]
nH recently shut down their API due to it causing problem with their front-end (paraphrase of their latest tweet (hopefully latest)). Lemme tell ya mate that front-end is **infested** with pop-up ads that will quite literally pop up at every interaction except scrolling. Pretty sure the shutdown is to ensure their ad revenue rather than making sure the apps doesn't over request (although there can be apps that over-request due to poor coding, in which case I'm sorry).

Kinda justified? Since the page doesn't have the paywall nor anything to grab your money so...kinda justified? Still.

And that's the story of how I became pretty much the only one beside the dev that give a shit about an app for nH on Android.

Girls and software development are not different, you fall in love with their front-end, then end up realizing all you just wanted is to screw their back-end.

So it turns out the site my app scrapes for those NSFW pictures actually scrapes another site.

Now it just seems to mirror that site like a proxy though doesn't work well... pictures not loading, links not working.

But then at the bottom there's like a Copyright tag which shows the other site's name.

I wonder if perhaps he got tired of playing cat and mouse with me and just said ah screw it... I give up, here's the source, go scrape them.

Find an error on line 69... start to giggle....

In dutch a "line" as in "error on line .." can be translated to "regel"

And in dutch "regel" can have two meanings.
Line and Rule.

Error on line 34.

Reading out loud in Dutch: "Error op regel 34"
translated to:

Error on rule 34. Launching out loud and thinking of the possibility.

Will i ever mature...

NSFW headphones, if you're not been hired trough them

git pull ; git push ; alias git-fork="git clone"; git-fork. Only gitters will understand