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TL;DR: Teacher wants to invest in my company 😲
So, just this morning as I headed to class (still in school, 17 years old, from Germany) someone tapped me from behind - a female teacher whom I've only seen a few times (She is a really nice and friendly teacher who teaches economics)
She asked me: Aren't you the young businessman? I've seen your interview, fantastic! (Background info: I recently founded my second firm (Webdevelopment, Design and Marketing) and was quite often in the media (local newspaper, television, radio))
Quite unsure, I responded: "yeah, right".
Promptly she asked: "Is there some way I can invest in your company? Perhaps in stocks?" (Of course we can't offer stocks, we're just a small local company lol)
Me: "There always is a way I guess?" (I was extremely grateful but didn't know how to respond)
Her: "Great! Would you mind sending me an email with your contact info?"
What the fuck just happened. 😂15 -
Today I discovered that we have a CSV export button for an order transaction system, on a page which is completely disconnected from the rest of the website.
It is only being called by an internal server, used by our Data department.
They run selenium to click the button.
Then they import the CSV into a database.
That database is accessed by an admin panel.
That admin panel has an excel export button.
Which is clicked by our CFO. But he got bored of clicking, so he uses IFTTT to schedule a download of the XLS and import it in Google Sheets.
That sheet uses a Salesforce data connector.
Marketing then sends email campaigns based on that Salesforce data...
😒11 -
Worst thing you've seen another dev do? Long one, but has a happy ending.
Classic 'Dev deploys to production at 5:00PM on a Friday, and goes home.' story.
The web department was managed under the the Marketing department, so they were not required to adhere to any type of coding standards and for months we fought with them on logging. Pre-Splunk, we rolled our own logging/alerting solution and they hated being the #1 reason for phone calls/texts/emails every night.
Wanting to "get it done", 'Tony' decided to bypass the default logging and send himself an email if an exception occurred in his code.
At 5:00PM on a Friday, deploys, goes home.
Around 11:00AM on Sunday (a lot folks are still in church at this time), the VP of IS gets a call from the CEO (who does not go to church) about unable to log into his email. VP has to leave church..drive home and find out he cannot remote access the exchange server. He starts making other phone calls..forcing the entire networking department to drive in and get email back up (you can imagine not a group of happy people)
After some network-admin voodoo, by 12:00, they discover/fix the issue (know it was Tony's email that was the problem)
We find out Monday that not only did Tony deploy at 5:00 on a Friday, the deployment wasn't approved, had features no one asked for, wasn't checked into version control, and the exception during checkout cost the company over $50,000 in lost sales.
Was Tony fired? Noooo. The web is our cash cow and Tony was considered a top web developer (and he knew that), Tony decided to blame logging. While in the discovery meeting, Tony told the bosses that it wasn't his fault logging was so buggy and caused so many phone calls/texts/emails every night, if he had been trained properly, this problem could have been avoided.
Well, since I was responsible for logging, I was next in the hot seat.
For almost 30 minutes I listened to every terrible thing I had done to Tony ever since he started. I was a terrible mentor, I was mean, I was degrading, etc..etc.
Me: "Where is this coming from? I barely know Tony. We're not even in the same building. I met him once when he started, maybe saw him a couple of times in meetings."
Andrew: "Aren't you responsible for this logging fiasco?"
Me: "Good Lord no, why am I here?"
Andrew: "I'll rephrase so you'll understand, aren't you are responsible for the proper training of how developers log errors in their code? This disaster is clearly a consequence of your failure. What do you have to say for yourself?"
Me: "Nothing. Developers are responsible for their own choices. Tony made the choice to bypass our logging and send errors to himself, causing Exchange to lockup and losing sales."
Andrew: "A choice he made because he was not properly informed of the consequences? Again, that is a failure in the proper use of logging, and why you are here."
Me: "I'm done with this. Does John know I'm in here? How about you get John and you talk to him like that."
'John' was the department head at the time.
Andrew:"John, have you spoken to Tony?"
John: "Yes, and I'm very sorry and very disappointed. This won't happen again."
Me: "Um...What?"
John: "You know what. Did you even fucking talk to Tony? You just sit in your ivory tower and think your actions don't matter?"
Me: "Whoa!! What are you talking about!? My responsibility for logging stops with the work instructions. After that if Tony decides to do something else, that is on him."
John: "That is not how Tony tells it. He said he's been struggling with your logging system everyday since he's started and you've done nothing to help. This behavior ends today. We're a fucking team. Get off your damn high horse and help the little guy every once in a while."
Me: "I don't know what Tony has been telling you, but I barely know the guy. If he has been having trouble with the one line of code to log, this is the first I've heard of it."
John: "Like I said, this ends today. You are going to come up with a proper training class and learn to get out and talk to other people."
Over the next couple of weeks I become a powerpoint wizard and 'train' anyone/everyone on the proper use of logging. The one line of code to log. One line of code.
A friend 'Scott' sits close to Tony (I mean I do get out and know people) told me that Tony poured out the crocodile tears. Like cried and cried, apologizing, calling me everything but a kitchen sink,...etc. It was so bad, his manager 'Sally' was crying, her boss 'Andrew', was red in the face, when 'John' heard 'Sally' was crying, you can imagine the high levels of alpha-male 'gotta look like I'm protecting the females' hormones flowing.
Took almost another year, Tony released a change on a Friday, went home, web site crashed (losses were in the thousands of $ per minute this time), and Tony was not let back into the building on Monday (one of the best days of my life).10 -
Time for a rant!.
Got a client I've just built a website for and they went live 2 weeks ago.
This morning he sends me an email saying that the website is not good enough because it's not making any sales or getting any traffic.
I send an email back asking if he has a marketing / SEO company... The response was I thought you do that as you said the site would be SEO friendly!!!.
I'm a developer! Not a marketer, fuck off.2 -
I'm going for longest rant. TL:DR; version here:
http://pastebin.com/0Bp4jX9y
then:
http://pastebin.com/FfUiTzsh
Twat Client,
As per our conversation, here is an invoice for the work you requested on behalf of U.S. Bloom. I realize that you ended up going with another designer, but you did request samples of what my take on the logo design would be. The following line item is indicative of 1 hour of graphic design consultation as per your request via Skype.
As I recall, you mentioned that this is not how Upwork "works" but considering it was you who requested that I converse with you via Skype instead of via the Upwork messenger, and since there were no clear instructions on how to proceed with Upwork after our initial consultation, It is assumed that you were foregoing Upwork altogether to work with me directly, thus the invoice from me directly for my time involved in the project. I would have reached out to you via Skype, but it seems that you may have severed our connection there.
After spending a little time researching your company, I could not find current information for Basic Media Marketing, but I was able to reach out to your former partner Not A. Twat, who was more than helpful and suggested that he would encourage you to pay for the services rendered.
It is discouraging that you asked for my help and I delivered, but when I ask for compensation in return for my skills, you refused to pay and have now taken your site offline and removed me as a contact from Skype.
{[CLIENT of CLIENT]},
I am sorry that I have bothered you with this email. I copied you on it merely for transparency's sake. I am sure that your logo is great and I am sure whatever decision was made is awesome for your decision. I just wanted to make sure that you weren't getting "samples" of other people's work passed off as original work by Twat Media Marketing.
I can't speak for any of the other candidates, but since Twat asked me to conduct work with him via Skype rather than through Upwork, and since he's pretty much a ghost online now, (Site Offline, LinkedIn Removed or Blocked, and now Skype blocked as well) one has to think this was a hit and run to either crowdsource your logo inexpensively or pass off other artist's work as his own. That may not be the case, but from my perspective all signs are pointing to that scenario.
Here is a transcript. Some of his messages have been redacted.
As you can clearly see, requests and edits to the logo were being made from Jon to me, but he thinks it's a joke when I ask about invoicing and tries to pass it off as an interview. Do you see any interview questions in there? There were no questions about how long I have been designing, what are my rates, who have I done work for in the past, or examples of my previous work. There were none because he didn't need them at this point.
He'd already seen my proposal and my Behance.net portfolio as well as my rates on Upwork.com. This was a cut to the chase request for my ideas for your logo. It was not just ideas, but mock designs with criticism and approval awaiting. Not only that, but I only asked for an hour of compensation. After looking at the timestamps on our conversation, you can clearly see that I spent at least 3 hours corresponding with Twat on this project. That's three hours of work I could have spent on an honest paying customer.
I trust that TWATCLIENT will do the right thing. I just wanted you guys to know that I was in it to do the best design I could for you. I didn't know I was in it to waste three hours of my life in an "interview" I wasn't aware I was participating in.
Reply from ClientClient:
Hello Sir,
This message is very confusing?
We do not owe your company any money and have never worked with you before.
Therefore, I am going to disregard that invoice.
Reply from TWATCLIENT's boss via phone:
I have two problems with this. One I don't think your business practices are ethical, especially calling MY client directly and sending them an invoice.
Two why didn't you call or email Jon before copying my client on the email invoice?
Me: Probably because he's purposely avoiding me and I had no way to find him. I only got his email address today and that was from a WHOIS lookup.
Really, you don't think my business practices are ethical? What about slavery? Is that ethical? Is it ethical to pass of my designs to your client for critique, but not pay me for doing them?
... I'LL HAVE TO CALL YOU BACK!
My email follow up:
http://pastebin.com/hMYPGtxV
I got paid. The power of CCing the right combination of people is greater than most things on Earth.14 -
Got a marketing email talking about the "No Code" revolution. They're talking to the wrong girl here.
12 -
I received an email from marketing manager requested me to extract all the emails from the all the application and compile it into a CSV and make sure that CSV doesn't have duplicate email's. She wants to send newsletter to all those email's which we don't have permission for.
I permanently deleted that email.3 -
MARKETING FUUUUUCCCKSSSS!!!
The fact that I publish a contact email address on my GitHub profile for email about my fucking GitHub doesn't justify sending me unsolicited shit!! I get that you want your product out there, I get that you don't want to pay for.. you know, regular fucking advertisements, just like everyone else, because your product is entitled to special treatment, right?!
Let me tell you something, Yaren Sahin. Just like with Clark from InVision and the Chinese motherfuckers with their injection moulds from earlier, this is a clear reminder for me to avoid your unethical business like the plague! Fucking piece of shit!!
(better quality screenshot: https://i.imgur.com/ZL3ebFZ.png)
Which by the way I'm actually legally allowed to upload, because this email was unsolicited. You know, because unlike those marketing people I happen to know the laws a bit.
4 -
I created an Android app for a client. An intern at his company who is responsible for content updates sent me this email:
Hi,
I'm including a photo of an Android displaying the app on screen, in our latest marketing email.
Will the Android's screen in the photo update itself if I update the content of the actual app?
Best,
Intern
*facepalm*7 -
After returning back from the company we were purchasing a new phone system (hardware+software, $100K+, kind of a big deal)
VP: “I need the new phone system software integration for our CRM by next week. I need to demo the system for the other VPs”
Me: “No problem. Were you able to get their API like I asked?”
VP: “Salesman didn’t know for sure what that was, but he said all the developer software documentation is on their site.”
Me: “Did he give you a URL? Their main site is all marketing mumbo-jumbo. I assume there is another one specific for developers.”
VP: “Yea, he might have said something, but I don’t understand why you need it. The salesman said the integration would be seamless. He showed me several demos.”
Me: “No, I mean I need to know, is the API a full client install? a simple dll? is this going to be a web service integration? How will I know what to program against?”
VP: “I think I heard him say something about COM? Does that sound like an API?”
Me: “It’s a start. Did he provide you anything, a disk, a flash drive, anything with the software?”
VP: “No, only thing he told me was our CRM integration would be seamless and our development team would have no problems.”
Me: “OK..OK…I get it…he’s a salesman. Is there an 1-800 number I can call? A technical support email address? Anyone technical I can reach out to?”
VP: “Probably, but I don’t understand what the problem is. I need the CRM integrated by next week. I gave the other VPs a promise we would get it done. I do not break promises.”
Me: “Wait…when are we installing the new system?”
VP: “Well, the purchase order will be cut at the end of the month’s billing cycle, the company has about a two month turnaround time to deliver and install the hardware, so maybe 3 months from now? Are you going to be able to have the integration ready for next week?”
Me: “If we won’t see any of the hardware for 3 months, what exactly am I integrating with?”
VP: “That API you wanted or whatever it is. COM…yea, it’s COM. I was told the integration would be seamless and our developers would have no problem. I don’t understand why you can’t simply write the code to make it work. Getting the hardware installed is going to be the hardest part.”
Me: “OK, so I have no documentation, we have no hardware, no software, and no idea what this ‘seamless integration’ means. I’m afraid there isn’t anything I can do right now. ”
VP: “Fine!...I’ll just have to tell the other VPs you were not able to execute the seamless integration with the CRM.”
Which he did. When the hardware+software was finally installed, they hired consultants (because I “failed”). I think the bill was in the $50K range to perform the ‘integration’ which consisted of Excel spreadsheets (no kidding). When approached with the primary CRM integration, the team needed our API documentation, a year’s development time and $300K. I was pissed off enough, and I had the API documentation, I was able to get the basic CRM integration within 3 days. When an agent receives a call, I look up the # in our database, auto-fill the form with the customer info, etc. Easy stuff when you have the documentation.
The basics worked and the VP was congratulated by ‘saving’ the company $300K. May or may not have been bonuses involved, rumors still out on that one, but I didn't see em'. Later my manager told me the VP was really ticked that I performed the integration ‘behind his back’, but because it was a success, he couldn’t fire me.10 -
This happens when your feedback is too important.
'I’m sorry I didn’t read your marketing email within 2 minutes of getting it. Please forgive me."
2 -
Every day I feel like Dr. Leonard McCoy.
"I'm an automation expert, not a ..."
* DBA
* ElasticSearch administrator
* Kafka Architect
* Email marketing specialist
* SEO Analyst
* Front end developer
* Doctor
* Project manager
* Accountant8 -
The state of the web in 2020:
discussion sites as a medium are dying. chalk that up to censorship.
reddit is an echochamber. twitter is mostly a marketing platform disguised as (anti)social media. instagram is a self promotion/wannabe eceleb site, and youtube is the new hollywood..quickly becoming irrelevant.
facebook is where I (dont) go to (totally not) ignore all the people important to me.
and email is where I go to send letters bordering on hatespeech to my various local and federal "representatives", in between borderline cyberbullying people stupid enough not to automate their spam marketing in 2020. or talking to left/right self-help grifters about the state of society.
in the grim dark future of 2020, the last bastion of intelligent conversation, free speech, and civility, the one shining icon of hope in a dark world..
is the comment section of pornhub videos where a women got stuck under a bed for the 50,000th time. And all I can think is "wow I never knew how easy it was to get trapped under a bed. They should look into fixing this safety hazard."
newsmedia has jumped so many sharks, the fonz now spins in his grave so fast we could hook him up to a generator. meanwhile people hide in their homes for a disease so deadly you have to be tested to know if you even have it.
while ever more car commercials
are released, set to somber but hopeful piano music to the tune of "in this time of social distancing its important to stay close even when we're apart."
Im beginning to think media has become a poison on society, both television and the internet, and like an ersatz cargo cultist worshipping the great-charles- manson-in-the-sky we should all take a page from the unabomber and smash our televisions with hammers before going outside and sawing down the telephone polls.
I jest of course. But there is no denying the inherent appeal of moving from the unsettling uncertainty of complex societies, driven by expertly manipulated fear cycles, to the beatitude-esque simplicty of pastoral protestant style living, sans witch burning and shoe buckles.
And against the reckoning of utopians who are still fresh from the womb as it were, wet behind the ears and smelling of their mother's pussy, I reject the notion that "up" is a synonym for "forward."
Were it the case, every drinking binge, followed by throwing up, would bring us, with each vomitting, one step closer to heaven. Rather the state of affairs is what it is, and what it is, like most of nature, is a cruel master and a harsh teacher. And while we may binge on digital delusions of grandeur and a greater society, rest easy in the nihilistic and sobering thought that we are little more than 200,000 year old cave men wielding magic bricks, and atomic bombs.
..where water flows more readily from metal tubes in our houses than it does from the nile. where food comes to our door at little more than our beck and call.
where we may bath, and sleep, and *shit*, cleanly, comfortably, and safely, wrapped in the (failing) bubble of delusion we all tenaciously grasp collectively, the thing we call "civilization".
an empire of needful things, wanton and fragile.
if we have not gone mad from boredom, I have no doubt we one day will.
it becomes more and more obvious to me every day, had war never existed, it would have been necessary for man to invent it just to have something to do, that didnt include farming, fucking, or building.
And so enters "political idealogy."
How would we ever have enemies if we were allowed to speak our piece instead of being given the means (and reflex dogwhistle training) to silence and destroy one another?
give a man a gun, he'll rob a bank. give a man a bank, he'll rob the world.
give him a media empire or a tech platform, and he'll lie about the theft and convince one half of millions of lemmings to hate all the other lemmings.9 -
Um.. yea I've published a GDPR contact email on our website, for issues about our privacy policy. Not sure if you Chinese marketing fucks behind the GFW know what this regulation is about though. I'm not interested in your stupid moulds.
Perhaps that firewall of China could use some further tightening... 😒
4 -
My fellow coworker dev just sent a staging site link to our CFO to review some new functionality...
CFO clicks on our corporate HQ link in coworker's email signature instead and berates coworker for sending him the wrong link...
This person is somewhat largely in charge of making decisions that affect our digital marketing, website budgets, and strategy.
I can't make this shit up.6 -
CompanyYouNeverHeardOf sends you IrrelevantNewsletter512... so you hunt for the unsubscribe link, which you find buried in the boilerplate crap at the bottom of the mail, rendered in #eee on a #fff background, in 4-point type, and click that. End up on a web site that asks you like 8 times if you're sure you want to leave and please, reconsider, we're nice folk really, blah blah blah. And then you get *another* email from them saying they received your unsubscribe request, and *then* yet another to confirm that yes, you unsubscribed, and please feel free to re-sub anytime (as if!)
GOD I HATE MARKETEERS!!!1one10 -
I love it when unethical companies' marketing chaps assume that I care about their SMS garbage more than I get pissed off by it. Damart, I didn't even know about your existence or what the hell you do as a business (selling woman clothes apparently.. am I a woman?!) until you shoved your ad crap into my face, and Unigro I really don't have a pending contract with you so kindly fuck off with your reminders (that are in French but am I a Walloon? No!).
Makes me wonder though, with email I usually just give everyone a different email address to deflect spam - since I can reroute email to any particular address straight to /dev/null on the server if so desired. With SMS and SIM cards that isn't really possible.. hence why I'm always so hesitant about sharing my phone number. In email the addresses are scraped off the internet.. but phone numbers? How do such shitcompanies even obtain those?! Their level of pushiness and unethical behavior boggles my mind.8 -
Never write your email adress on a building. And it you do, don't use web.de (basically German and more shitty version of yahoo). Spoted in a fancy business district in central Berlin.
7 -
Disclaimer: Long tale of a tech support job. Also the wk29 story is at the bottom.
One time I was working tech support for a website and email hosting firm that was in town. I was hired and worked as the only tech support person there, so all calls came in through me. This also meant that if I was on a call, and another one came through, they would go straight to voice mail. But I couldn't hang up calls either, so, sometimes someone would take up tons of time and I'd have to help them. I was also the "SEO" and "Social Media Marketing" person, as well; managed peoples' social media campaigns. I have tons of stories from this place but a few in particular stick out to me. No particular order to these, I'm just reminiscing as I write this.
I once had to help a man who couldn't find the start button on his computer. When I eventually guided him to allowing me to remote into his computer via Team Viewer, I found he was using Windows XP. I'm not kidding.
I once had to sit on the phone with a man selling Plexus Easy Weight Loss (snake oil, pyramid scheme, but he was a client) and have him yell at me about not getting him more business, simply because we'd built his website. No, I'D not built his website, but his website was fine and it wasn't our job to get him more business. Oh yeah, this is the same guy who said that he didn't want the social media marketing package because he "had people to hide from." Christ.
We had another client who was a conspiracy theorist and wanted the social media marketing package for his blog, all about United States conspiracies. Real nut case. But the best client I've ever had because sometimes he'd come into the office and take up my time talking at me about how Fukushima was the next 911 and that soon it'll spill into the US water supply and everybody was going to die. Hell, better than being on the phone! Doing his social media was great because he wanted me to post clearly fake news stories to his twitter and facebook for him, and I got to look at and manage all the comments calling him out on his bullshit. It was kinda fun. After all, it wasn't _me_ that believed all this. It felt like I was trolling.
[wk29] I was the social media and support techie, not a salesperson. But sometimes I was put in charge _alone_ in front of clients for status meetings about their social media. This one time we had a client who was a custom fashion-type person. I don't really remember. But I was told directly to make them a _new_ facebook page and post to it every day with their hot new deals and stuff. MONTHS pass since I do that and they come in for a face-to-face meeting. Boss is out doing... boss things and that means I have to sit in with her, and for some fucking reason she brought her boyfriend AND HER DAD. Who were both clearly very very angry with me, the company, and probably life. They didn't ever say anything at first, they didn't greet me, they were both just there like British royal guards. It was weird as fuck. I start showing them the page, the progress on their likes goals, etc etc. Marketing shit. They say, "huh, we didn't see any of these posts at home." Turns out they already had a Facebook page, I was working on a completely seperate one, and then the boyfriend finally chimes in with the biggest fucking scowl, "what are you going to do about this?" He was sort of justified, considering this was a payed and semi-expensive service we offered, but holy shit the amount of fire in all three of them. Anyway, it came down to me figuring out how to merge facebook pages, but they eventually left as clients. Is this my fuck up? Is it my company's? Is it theirs? I don't know but that was probably the most awkward meeting ever. Don't know if it comes across through text but the anxiety was pretty real. Fuck.
tl;dr Tech support jobs are a really fun and exciting entry level position I recommend everybody apply for if they're starting out in the tech world! You'll meet tons of cool people and every day is like a new adventure.2 -
So... I’m sitting here doing pretty much nothing, just reading through some rants when all of a sudden I get a wave of emails.
Pinterest!
We noticed a login from a new device or location and want to make sure it’s you.
Device: Firefox, Windows 8
Where: New Jersey, United States (Approximate)
OhhhhhKay then... so there’s a couple of problems with this, 1 I didn’t even know I had a Pinterest account, 2 I don’t have Pinterest in my password manager either.
So I follow the link and fair enough it’s actually pintest, so I attempt to login, to no avail, oh maybe it’s a social login..., ok let’s try google, nope that wasn’t it, deletes account, logins with Facebook, oh here we go, checks logins, 1 random jersey player, deletes account, swaps to Facebook, changes password (this fucker was already 100+ characters) and adds 2FA and contains no new logins 🤔
Ok... so what the fuck, either someone managed to get through a long ass password or something phishy is going on, the email for FB logins is seldomly used (maybe a handful of services at best) as I have another for all the junk and spam bullshit I expect from today’s “marketing”1 -
Wow, I just realized the marketing teams of most of the companies I have been dealing with are some cold sociopaths.
Every other letter that pops in the mailbox is filled with dark patterns trying to guilt me into opting in to their continued spam:
Subject: Most awesome husky puppy!
Look at this beautiful husky puppy. Isn't it beautiful.... It would be sad if something happened to it... But I am afraid... Something will happen to it...
If you don't opt in to our email message... I am afraid we have no choice... We have to kill this puppy. End it's life... We have no choice. I wish we did! Nothing would please us more than keeping this beautiful-beautiful puppy living and playing....
But if you don't opt in... We have to cut it's throat. Leave it lying on the ground, bleeding out as the life slowly fades away from it's pretty blue eyes...
And Remember: it's not us who killed it... IT WAS YOU! YOUR ACTIONS LEAD TO THE DEATH OF THIS PUPPY! YOU.... YOU FILTHY MURDERER!
Pls opt-in ok, then we are all good. Puppy lives! Just opt in. Ok? Yeah, you know what you have to do.3 -
If I uncheck your, by default checked, checkbox to recieve your marketing bullshit emails on your website.
Don't fucking send me an additional email asking me to subscribe.
Fucking cunts!1 -
So I'm on vacation right now to visit family. I received an email from the head of department that, due to our department getting 7 new hires in one day, the seating arrangement has been changed.
My new seat is next to this one developer who's old enough to be my dad. He's a very nice guy and all, but the problem is he burps ALL. THE. TIME. I've never met anybody more gassy. His burps don't stink, thank God, but they're loud enough that it's seriously jarring.
You know how us devs can be completely in the zone until some marketing dickbag taps you on the shoulder and asks you to check your email or help with something that is absolutely not your job and you completely lose all focus and have to start over? Its exactly like that, except it happens every 10 minutes.
Another thing is, my back is now facing away from the wall, towards the rest of the office. The nearest section to mine is management. That means that anybody, including the CEO, can walk up right behind me and see what I'm doing at all times.
I really hate that. Id much rather be next to the wall to have some sort of privacy. Somehow sitting next to burpy guy is still the thing I'm most annoyed about though.
I tried to ask for a different seat, but my manager effectively said that I have no choice but to sit there because that guy is part of my team, and teammates should sit together. He forgot about the fact that, while the work him and I do is indeed related, I've been working on a solo project for the past few months and I don't need to be next to anybody in particular because I'm the only one working on this thing. Theoretically, I could sit in the toilet with my laptop and get my work done just fine. Maybe when I talk to him face to face in the office I can convince him to have some mercy on me.
The bright side is I'm very excited about meeting those 7 new hires I mentioned. They seem to be smart, capable people so I look forward to working with them and learning from them. Every cloud has a silver lining. 😊7 -
Marketing sends an average of 3 newsletter per week all year round, and 4-5 per week on Christmas.
Mailchimp makes this so damn easy for them...
We have ~500.000 subscribed customers.
They discovered the new chrome push notifications API and I 'refused' to build anything for it because I already find the amount of email they send unacceptable and I am pretty sure they would abuse of it.
I'm already imagining like 10 push messages a day...
Am I wrong? What would you do?7 -
Ever fuckinn "townhall meeting" at previous workplace. It was such an utter waste of time that even after leaving that place I still rage when thinking about it.
Every 4-6 months they would setup this useless crap of a meeting that drags on for over 1-1.5 hours of execs talking themselves up and trying to convince how great they are. And since they were cheapskates they would send out an email asking everyone to not join from their desks but congregate in the conference rooms to save on the dial-in. The conference rooms didn't have adequate chairs, vantilation or good enough aircon to handle twice/thrice the capacity of people standing in the room.
The marketing exec would go on and on about how great the media visibility is, how many views/likes they had on a linkedin post last month. The sales exec would blabber on about how their team is great and that the customers themselves are lining up and there is no competitor. Straight after the CFO would lecture on how the year is still difficult financially (in disguise justifying the peanuts of pay). The last exec, no matter who that is would specifically raise a point that the previous speakers didn't mention his/her team while thanking others.
This is also not a small company, the total headcount was just over 900 and roughly 500-700 people would be attending these townhalls. Imagine the amount of man hours wasted on that shitshow.6 -
Kinda all other devs translate incompetent with a lack of knowledge
i would go with not able to recognize his lack of knowledge
Story 1:
once we had a developer, whom was given the task to try out a REST/Json API using Java
after a week he presented his solution,
2 Classes with actual code and a micro-framework for parsing and generating JSON
so i asked him, why he didn't use a framework like jackson or gson, while this presentation he felt pretty offended by this question
a couple of weeks later i met him and he was full of thanks for me, because i showed him, that there are frameworks like that, and even said sorry for feeling offended
- no incompentence here -
Story 2:
once i had a lead dev, who was so self-confident, he refactored (for no reason but refactoring itself) half the app and commited without trying to compile/run test
but not only once, but on a regular basis
as you may imagine, he broke the application multiple times and blamed the other devs
- incompentence warning-
Story 3:
once i had a dev, which wanted to stay up with the latest versions of his libraries
npm update && commit without trying to compile/testing multiple times
- incompentence warning-
Story 4:
once i had a cto
* thought email-marketing is cutting edge
* removed test-systems completely to reduce costs
* liked wordpress
* sets vm to sleep without letting anyone know
- i guess incompetent alert -2 -
me vs marketing guy, again
me: yeah, the database server is not responding, so you cannot log in to post your blog, wait for it to get online.
MG: But, the website is online.
me: web host and database server are two distinct things, they are not the same, *share a screenshot of the error*
MG: Oh okay.
Literally 3 hours later this fucking idiot sends an email and I quote.
"Hi Dev,
@CTO FYI, Someone has removed this code So there is some tracking issue on it.
Please add below google analytics code on the website.
Note: Copy and paste this code as the first item into the <HEAD> of every web page that you want to track. If you already have a Global Site Tag on your page, simply add the config line from the snippet below to your existing Global Site Tag.
<!-- Global site tag (gtag.js) - Google Analytics -->
<script async src="https://googletagmanager.com/gtag/..."></script>
<script>
window.dataLayer = window.dataLayer || [];
function gtag(){dataLayer.push(arguments);}
gtag('js', new Date());
gtag('config', 'UA-xxxxxxxx-1');
</script>
"
The fucking issue was of him not being able to post his shitty blog, and he shares an email like this, FOR FUCK'S SAKE!2 -
An online shop ... something like Amazon Shopping for South East Asia keeps on sending me their newsletter even though I have already unsubscribed. I wish they'd hire me to take care of their email service.
Although I doubt this is a bug and perhaps one of a schemes of the marketing department and they are already aware of this. Sneaky corporate bastards.
5 -
Welcome to Part III of WHY WOULD I WANT TO WORK WITH YOU?, a saga of competence, empathy and me being dick, even tho I didn't want to be one.
This is a follow-up to: https://devrant.com/rants/2363551. It's title is: "Mt 13:12".
We left off the story in the very moment I had received feedback from 3 companies that decided to interview me. A, B and C. We won't talk about A from now on, since I refused their offer to offer me unpaid internship.
It's December 20, 18:00. I am returning home. Earlier that day I emailed guys at C that I need some time with my decision, because I have another offer that suits me better. It was awaiting response from B, obviously. That day they called me and offered me... full-time job. As a fullstack. On a project for a big company, that they described by something like: "They may not be one of the famous X of the market, but they're probably X+1, yeah". Needless to say, that was some bad marketing. I googled them up later tho. Anyway, my response didn't change, altho thing seemed a little big better for me. Except that I was a little suspicious of them too. Were they *that* desperate for a worker?[1]
It is December 24th. 10 am. My phone rings. It's guy from B. He tells me "saito, the recruiter guy is still sick. Since I don't know if we can hire you for sure, it may be better for you to accept another offer, if you got any. I'll keep you updated." That was pretty cool of him. Remember the quote from part II? That's the empathy part. He called me, even tho he didn't really have to. If you read this, monsieur, you're the best. Back to the story now. I emailed guys at C that I am willing to start the job anytime. They told me that CEO is back January 7th, 2020.
It is January 4th 2020, 10 am. Unkonwn number calls. It's actually a guy from B, but the other one. The one that was sick previously. He tells me that he wants to talk about my employment. He talked with the senior dev and he just wants a talk and a small code test in typescript. He told me that it's no prob that I don't know typescript, since it will be entry level and I have time to learn the basics. And so I do. We decide to meet at January 7th. Later on that day guys from C email me that they want to sign the contract n January 7th.
And here we get to the culmination and the lesson of those posts. What should I do? On one side I have a job that isn't 100% comfirmed, but I'm pretty positive about it. The people at B are great, I love them. During my interview I learned some stuff about the project I would participate in, so I didn't go in blindly. It was my field of interest. I was hyped for the possibility itself to work with that senior dev. On the other hand guys at C had their contract ready. They finally were ready to start. I still didn't know for shit what would I do. I knew that I would need to learn basics of data science and stuff. Their interview and CEO left me with a quite bad impression. I didn't really like them. But it was a job.
What I did I consider the best thing I could do for myself. I told guys from C to meet someday later. I visited B yesterday, January 7th. I've done the test. It had some code refactoring and implementing some React elements. Basic shit indeed. I am almost positive I would do it even if I didn't visit typescript docs during the weekend. We then talked about it. The dev told me what he would change in the solution, but didn't consider it bad. Then they told me I'm hired. And I emailed C that I can't accept their offer. The guy was pretty pissed. I can understand it, they seemed to be ready to start with me and I pulled out last day, in the evening. I am truly sorry for that. But also I feel no regrets. I have chosen those whom I trusted more. I've chosen guys who took notes of my CV and talked about it in my interview over people who didn't even get that I applied for a frontend positin. That's competence for you. I've chosen guys who actually wanted to talk wih me about me making music over people who sat me down at a computer and told me: "code". That's empathy for you.
Dear recruiters. If you want to attract best candidates, show your competence and empathy.
Dear recruitees. If you're looking for a good job, it may take some time. Also, knowing people helps a lot.
1 – Actually, I wouldn't be surprised, if they really needed someone to help them out on their projects and they didn't get a lot of attention. Why? Well, their webpage was unfinished and kinda sucked, their interview sucked also. I still don't know whether they're a startup or what. I just can't help but feel bad seeing HR and Marketing that bad. Because the guys actually might do a lot of good stuff, and their potential employees didn't get to know that.4 -
Oh boy, this is gonna be good:
TL;DR: Digital bailiffs are vulnerable as fuck
So, apparently some debt has come back haunting me, it's a somewhat hefty clai and for the average employee this means a lot, it means a lot to me as well but currently things are looking better so i can pay it jsut like that. However, and this is where it's gonna get good:
The Bailiff sent their first contact by mail, on my company address instead of my personal one (its's important since the debt is on a personal record, not company's) but okay, whatever. So they send me a copy of their court appeal, claiming that "according to our data, you are debtor of this debt". with a URL to their portal with a USERNAME and a PASSWORD in cleartext to the message.
Okay, i thought we were passed sending creds in plaintext to people and use tokenized URL's for initiating a login (siilar to email verification links) but okay! Let's pretend we're a dumbfuck average joe sweating already from the bailiff claims and sweating already by attempting to use the computer for something useful instead of just social media junk, vidya and porn.
So i click on the link (of course with noscript and network graph enabled and general security precautions) and UHOH, already a first red flag: The link redirects to a plain http site with NOT username and password: But other fields called OGM and dossiernumer AND it requires you to fill in your age???
Filling in the received username and password obviously does not work and when inspecting the page... oh boy!
This is a clusterfuck of javascript files that do horrible things, i'm no expert in frontend but nothing from the homebrewn stuff i inspect seems to be proper coding... Okay... Anyways, we keep pretending we're dumbasses and let's move on.
I ask for the seemingly "new" credentials and i receive new credentials again, no tokenized URL. okay.
Now Once i log in i get a horrible looking screen still made in the 90's or early 2000's which just contains: the claimaint, a pie chart in big red for amount unpaid, a box which allows you to write an - i suspect unsanitized - text block input field and... NO DATA! The bailiff STILL cannot show what the documents are as evidence for the claim!
Now we stop being the pretending dumbassery and inspect what's going on: A 'customer portal' that does not redirect to a secure webpage, credentials in plaintext and not even working, and the portal seems to have various calls to various domains i hardly seem to think they can be associated with bailiff operations, but more marketing and such... The portal does not show any of the - required by law - data supporting the claim, and it contains nothing in the user interface showing as such.
The portal is being developed by some company claiming to be "specialized in bailiff software" and oh boy oh boy..they're fucked because...
The GDPR requirements.. .they comply to none of them. And there is no way to request support nor to file a complaint nor to request access to the actual data. No DPO, no dedicated email addresses, nothing.
But this is really the ham: The amount on their portal as claimed debt is completely different from the one they came for today, for the sae benefactor! In Belgium, this is considered illegal and is reason enough to completely make the claim void. the siple reason is that it's unjust for the debtor to assess which amount he has to pay, and obviously bailiffs want to make the people pay the highest amount.
So, i sent the bailiff a business proposal to hire me as an expert to tackle these issues and even sent him a commercial bonus of a reduction of my consultancy fees with the amount of the bailiff claim! Not being sneery or angry, but a polite constructive proposal (which will be entirely to my benefit)
So, basically what i want to say is, when life gives you lemons, use your brain and start making lemonade, and with the rest create fertilizer and whatnot and sent it to the lemonthrower, and make him drink it and tell to you it was "yummy yummy i got my own lemons in my tummy"
So, instead of ranting and being angry and such... i simply sent an email to the bailiff, pointing out various issues (the ones6 -
Hello fellas! 👋
I recently told you that I’m planning to pull out Chaaat – a fully open source messenger that doesn’t track you and doesn’t share your data: https://devrant.com/rants/1549251/....
The project is also mentioned here: https://devrant.com/rants/1570178/...
So, I’m here to tell you good news – a great developer, @not-a-muggle, decided to join me, and now we made a team!
I also made some conversations and acquired “chaaat” name from another team on Heroku, so now we have consistent domain name on both Heroku and GitHub Pages.
We have Trello board with very well described tasks almost anyone can do. We also have Slack to have both business and free conversations.
If you’re seeking a place to contribute and gain some NodeJS / React / PWA / WebRTC experience with detailed code review from experienced developer, just mention me here or shoot me an email on hello@miloslav.website. Provide your email so I’ll be able to contact you.
Our main goals are:
1. Have fun and some experience
2. Make it to Chrome Experiments mention
Marketing/advertising help is much appreciated.
Feel free to email me anytime!8 -
When scammers want to follow GDPR regulations - the worst SCAM ever 🤦♂️
Long story:
I have just received a SMS message, informing me that my phone number is in several marketing databases. It also had a link to the website called stop-sms.pl, where you're supposed to be able to unsubscribe from those lists. At this moment I felt a little bit confused - the SMS seemed suspicious, but on the other hand who doesn't want to get rid of all this SMS crap. So I carefully followed the link to see the website with a form to fill with personal data - phone number included 😆 If that is not enough to realize that this is just a lame scam website, just below the input where you enter the phone number there are Terms and Conditions where it directly states that: "By filling the form you agree that your personal data (name, email, phone number) will be used for marketing purposes." - WTF?!
Who the f... gets fooled by such crap?! 😂😂😂2 -
We rolled out yesterday a new update out to our Desktop application. The goal was to do it last weekend but we failed for reasons. The update is a success and now we (devs, project manager, QA, COO, support) got an angry email from our CEO, he mentioned:
- He is very disappointed in the whole process
- we released it without a coordinated marketing campaign
- That the devs should have communicated to the customers
- That the devs should have communicated internally more
- That support is getting a lot of new support tickets. I asked support, they counted 0 for this product in the last 7 days.
- Asked us to self-reflect how we can improve.
My project manager (who is currently on paternity leave) responded with an angry email to defend the dev team and pointed out that the CEO fired the marketing guy (again). The deadline is here for months, that the CEO literally ran the update locally and sold the update to new customers. He also called the CEO "lack of self awareness" and "not understanding the update process" and "disappointed in this approach". He also said that he asked the developers not to respond to the email.
Love me some drama between higher-ups2 -
How to make those marketing staff of x service stop sending you an email when they don't have unsubscribe link:
1. Reply back asking about the free tier/plan
2. Profit!
2 days and no word from them after spamming me daily about the service3 -
Listen, i really understand you want to know how much a certain resource is downloaded/viewed and so on. But what gets on my nerves is to sign up my email address every fucking time i want to see your semi-tech-but-actually-selling-you-a-pile-of-sperm-fermented-shit whitepaper . yes i know there is something called disposable email adresses and such... But if stuff is 'free' as you say you have, then make it available free!
Every time i think 'hey, this is actually relevant to my interests, let me read up more on that...' i hit the fucking 'insert your email for a free download'
Fuck off! Put your fucking form in the pits of hell and seal it in a fucking fucking dome next to fucking research subject akira with 99 fucking layers of fucking nuclear blast proof wall domes! I dont want you to fucking send me your fucking spam mails about every ideafart your sales dept has fired becausz they were high on computer cleaner spray tubes and thought 'let's trick those stupid people into our marketing scheme', go and fucking jump into a barrel of highly concentrated radioactive waste!
The only thing you manage to do for me like that is to fucking close the tab i had a slight interest in and never look back again!
Am i the only one getting angry about this?2 -
I finally get the go ahead to push an update to a client site into production. Client then sends out marketing email about changes later that afternoon. The next day the client decides they are not ready to start fulfilling orders from one of the new products I added. Now I have to rush a change to remove the product links from the site.2
-
Got one right now, no idea if it’s the “most” unrealistic, because I’ve been doing this for a while now.
Until recently, I was rewriting a very old, very brittle legacy codebase - we’re talking garbage code from two generations of complete dumbfucks, and hands down the most awful codebase I’ve ever seen. The code itself is quite difficult to describe without seeing it for yourself, but it was written over a period of about a decade by a certifiably insane person, and then maintained and arguably made much worse by a try-hard moron whose only success was making things exponentially harder for his successor to comprehend and maintain. No documentation whatsoever either. One small example of just how fucking stupid these guys were - every function is wrapped in a try catch with an empty catch, variables are declared and redeclared ten times, but never used. Hard coded credentials, hard coded widths and sizes, weird shit like the entire application 500ing if you move a button to another part of the page, or change its width by a pixel, unsanitized inputs, you name it, if it’s a textbook fuck up, it’s in there, and then some.
Because the code is so damn old as well (MySQL 8.0, C#4, and ASP.NET 3), and utterly eschews the vaguest tenets of structured, organized programming - I decided after a month of a disproportionate effort:success ratio, to just extract the SQL queries, sanitize them, and create a new back end and front end that would jointly get things where they need to be, and most importantly, make the application secure, stable, and maintainable. I’m the only developer, but one of the senior employees wrote most of the SQL queries, so I asked for his help in extracting them, to save time. He basically refused, and then told me to make my peace with God if I missed that deadline. Very helpful.
I was making really good time on it too, nearly complete after 60 days of working on it, along with supporting and maintaining the dumpster fire that is the legacy application. Suddenly my phone rings, and I’m told that management wants me to implement a payment processing feature on the site, and because I’ve been so effective at fixing problems thus far, they want to see it inside of a week. I am surprised, because I’ve been regularly communicating my progress and immediate focus to management, so I explain that I might be able to ship the feature by end of Q1, because rather than shoehorn the processor onto the decrepit piece of shit legacy app, it would be far better to just include it in the replacement. I add that PCI compliance is another matter that we must account for, and so there’s not a great chance of shipping this in a week. They tell me that I have a month to do it…and then the Marketing person asks to see my progress and ends up bitching about everything, despite the front end being a pixel perfect reproduction. Despite my making everything mobile responsive, iframe free, secure and encrypted, fast, and void of unpredictable behaviors. I tell her that this is what I was asked to do, and that there should have been no surprises at all, especially since I’ve been sending out weekly updates via email. I guess it needed more suck? But either way, fuck me and my two months of hard work. I mean really, no ego, I made a true enterprise grade app for them.
Short version, I stopped working on the rebuild, and I’m nearly done writing the payment processor as a microservice that I’ll just embed as an iframe, since the legacy build is full of those anyway, and I’m being asked to make bricks without straw. I’m probably glossing over a lot of finer points here too, just because it’s been such an epic of disappointment. The deadline is coming up, and I’m definitely going to make it, now that I have accordingly reduced the scope of work, but this whole thing has just totally pissed me off, and left a bad taste about the organization.9 -
How our MIS/IT department handles problems...
Once upon a time a long time ago, a C level suit opened ransomware from an email with a link in it via Dropbox.
Two years in, even the marketing department, who are all using iMacs for digital media creation, inbound marketing, and website development, and alsohave more common sense than the lowly Excel minions, are still blocked from using Dropbox.
Thank god for Socks5 Proxying and an SSH tunnel to our web server. ;) I can has all the things.
1 -
Hmm I have created marketing application. and when it goes live the client comes with approxx.. 10M mails to be sent at once :( Everything worked smoother But client does not have patience to wait.. So he went to the boss.. boss told us heyy you process email one by one .. instead create batch of emails and then sent.. my whole application flow has been changed.,.....
Its like am on 0 to start again
crying in corner ... :(10 -
You may not like GDPR but it will change one important thing - american companies will stop email spam. Srsly, in Europe you always had to check box that you want marketing spam. USA companies always worked in opt-out mode, which is soooo annoying1
-
Brave Browser.
There’s a reason why brave is generally advised against on privacy subreddits, and even brave wanted it to be removed from privacytools.io to hide negativity.
Brave rewards: There’s many reasons why this is terrible for privacy, a lot dont care since it can be “disabled“ but in reality it isn’t actually disabled:
Despite explicitly opting out of telemetry, every few secs a request to: “variations.brave.com”, “laptop-updates.brave.com” which despite its name isn’t just for updates and fetches affiliates for brave rewards, with pings such as grammarly, softonic, uphold e.g. Despite again explicitly opting out of brave rewards. There’s also “static1.brave.com”
If you’re on Linux curl the static1 link. curl --head
static1.brave.com,
if you want proof of even further telemetry: it lists cloudfare and google, two unnecessary domains, but most importantly telemetry domains.
But say you were to enable it, which most brave users do since it’s the marketing scheme of the browser, it uses uphold:
“To verify your identity, we collect your name, address, phone, email, and other similar information. We may also require you to provide additional Personal Data for verification purposes, including your date of birth, taxpayer or government identification number, or a copy of your government-issued identification
Uphold uses Veriff to verify your identity by determining whether a selfie you take matches the photo in your government-issued identification. Veriff’s facial recognition technology collects information from your photos that may include biometric data, and when you provide your selfie, you will be asked to agree that Veriff may process biometric data and other data (including special categories of data) from the photos you submit and share it with Uphold. Automated processes may be used to make a verification decision.”
Oh sweet telemetry, now I can get rich, by earning a single pound every 2 months, with brave taking a 30 percent cut of all profits, all whilst selling my own data, what a deal.
In addition this request: “brave-core-ext.s3.brave.com” seems to either be some sort of shilling or suspicious behaviour since it fetches 5 extensions and installs them. For all we know this could be a backdoor.
Previously in their privacy policy they shilled for Facebook, they shared data with Facebook, and afterwards they whitelisted Facebook, Twitter, and large company trackers for money in their adblock: Source. Which is quite ironic, since the whole purpose of its adblock is to block.. tracking.
I’d consider the final grain of salt to be its crappy tor implementation imo. Who makes tor but doesn’t change the dns? source It was literally snake oil, all traffic was leaked to your isp, but you were using “tor”. They only realised after backlash as well, which shows how inexperienced some staff were. If they don’t understand something, why implement it as a feature? It causes more harm than good. In fact they still haven’t fixed the extremely unique fingerprint.
There’s many other reasons why a lot of people dislike brave that arent strictly telemetry related. It injecting its own referral links when users purchased cryptocurrency source. Brave promoting what I’d consider a scam on its sponsored backgrounds: etoro where 62% of users lose all their crypto potentially leading to bankruptcy, hence why brave is paid 200 dollars per sign up, because sweet profit. Not only that but it was accused of theft on its bat platform source, but I can’t fully verify this.
In fact there was a fork of brave (without telemetry) a while back, called braver but it was given countless lawsuits by brave, forced to rename, and eventually they gave up out of plain fear. It’s a shame really since open source was designed to encourage the community to participate, not a marketing feature.
Tl;dr: Brave‘s taken the fake privacy approach similar to a lot of other companies (e.g edge), use “privacy“ for marketing but in reality providing a hypocritical service which “blocks tracking” but instead tracks you.14 -
Marketing material for a RasPi-based device that, supposedly, secures all your traffic from hackers by (translated) "encrypting traffic to your router" and "sharding and dispersing your data, so nobody can read it".
Stay tuned to see what it actually does (waiting for an email reply from it's creator)
6 -
Why do these e-marketing companies always have some kind of manager/consultant/strategist/marketeer/whatever to handle emails between me and their devs. Instead of emailing with another technical person and quickly fixing the problem I end up sending one billion emails to someone who has no clue on what needs to be done to fix te problem. From now on my emails contains a part called "to your developer:" explaining the technical part of the email.
And no - I don't want to plan a conference call... just let me code dammit! -
Worst disturbance: me, with an ANC headset, listening to some music or documentary.
Then a burst of laughing coming through all this sound engineering – the VP marketing, discussing by phone with some 1K-followers "influencer".
Yeah, the same VP that says that she needs silence to focus on the email she's writing when the intern ask her some important question. -
So, I just recieved a welcome email from bit.ac, with my email and a random generated password. The fact is that, I have never registered on this website. Did someone just registered with my email? Or maybe it's a new marketing strategy, to collect emails from another databases and send them emails, "reminding" them their email and a random generated password, so that who recieve the email, to be confused and to access the website to see what is all about,resulting that the company gets more traffic & eventually new possible customers?
7 -
What is it with non-technical managers, especially those in sales, thinking that the solution to all problems is to "just pick up the phone and ring them?" This was *always* his opinion, whether the web service we were using wasn't accepting a valid request (apparently this was best "explained over the phone", I kid you not - have you ever tried speaking JSON?!) or whether we just needed a simple request going in to increase the API limit. I mean I could send an email or log a ticket in a few minutes tops, but you want me to spend 2 hours on hold to a support department only to be told "ah we don't take those requests over the phone, here's the URL, log a ticket."
Then it's always a case of "I don't understand why they're like that, all the guys I speak to are happy to help on the phone". Yeah, beacuse you're in sales & marketing you muppet. Blathering on to each other so you can stroke the egos of yourselves and your companies is kinda in the job description.
Grr. This was all a while ago, but I thought of it just now and the pure concept just annoyed me, so here it is. I really hope he's not doing the same thing to guys under him now (but let's be honest, he probably is.)7 -
Sooo as of January of this year, I have a new boss, this dude basically acted as my “mentor” for the last year so he’s already tried micromanaging me but bc he wasn’t my boss, I could push back.
Long story short, he is now my manager, he’s the global marketing leader and I’m the marketing director for the Americas (been doing this role for two years) yet he treats me like I’m an idiot, in his words he wants to make sure I’m in control of my team before he lets me lead fully while simultaneously telling me that I need to step up and lead.
I politely asked him to let me lead and stop attending all my team meetings, stop delegating tasks to my team directly and instead consult w me so then I can delegate, and basically to respect the fact that clearly I’ve been successfully doing the job for the last two years.
He said no, that he won’t leave my meetings until he feels I have full control of my team, continues to over involve himself in all my projects, pulling my team in a bunch of directions w new projects and ideas left and right, and burning us all out.
To add insult to injury, he sent me a very “helpful” email detailing how I need to work better and faster and how he expects me and my team at full speed, my team is made up of me, two new hires that are a month old, my marketing manager, and I’m currently hiring for another team member. (This after he led a company restructure of my previous team that resulted in me losing 4 team members in December so I’m rebuilding my team).
I’m already overwhelmed and demotivated, pretty sure he wants me to quit and he has a proven history of bullying his staff, he was actually fired from our parent company for this exact reason a few years ago, he also happens to be European so not sure how rules work over there, but he was rehired by my company. My European colleagues hate him too, but they’re too scared to speak up.
I used to love my job and now i dread it, I drink every day after work and I get anxiety everytime he emails me which is at all hours if the day. Is it worth it documenting his bullshit for HR or should I just cut my losses snd leave?
Appreciate the advice!3 -
So I get this email from google for my development account about these new general data protection regulations and what they're doing with admob and all that good stuff.
I didn't dive too deep and there's nothing crazy in it but it definitely feels like it's spawned on by this "selling you data to advertisers thing."
We live in such a weird society where it's like outrage after outrage. I've never known anybody who has NOT known that their statistics and data was sold to third party for marketing for EVERYTHING they do on the computer or phone. For a DECADE or longer. It always seemed to be such a second hand thought but now out of nowhere everyone has their panties in a wad for something they ALREADY knew.
Are we like that miserable/bored/no hobbies/unsatisfied with our first world life that we have to just flip out about dumb crap all the time? -
!rant
I learned something new while trouble shooting an email template today.
There was a weird margin at the end of my template and I have no idea where it came from. I inspected elements and found a 1x1 image.
Turns out it's a tracking link being loaded as an image.
Now I get why they call it a tracking pixel. It's literally 1 pixel.9 -
Thanks google for creating the illusion of an option to change the shipping address for a repair order. You even mention the new address in your notification email, but when I click on UPS tracking, I can see that you sent the shipment to the old address, which is in a different city where I can't quickly go to pick up my repaired phone. After charging an extra 95,- Euros for additional damage supposedly not covered by my warranty. Lucky you that my old phone had connection problems with the shitty Vodafone station wi-fi router, which is one of the few reasons that I still even want to use a google hardware product. Thanks google for just being slightly less wretched and mediocre than your competitors, that might grant you some more years before you will be buried in history forever. Pixel phones are just like Macbooks: high quality product and good marketing, good enough to make your customer accept everything else being bullshit. Google search is even worse, but based on the same concept: just suck a little less than your competitors but don't waste any effort trying to actually be really good at anything.3
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100th email of the day with the same subject...revised from marketing. Just sort it out and send me the last one
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don't you just hate, when this happens? translated from Slovak we call this "the system of the falling shit" you know this under "hot potato"
email:
from: marketing coworker
to: senior dev 1
* asks for a lot of stuff, deadline yesterday, high priority, on a site for which the jenkins build is crashing every once in a while, because we are migrating all the time so some folders are already deleted or not created yet and the build config is really strict *
forwarded from: senior dev 1
@senior dev 2
forwarded from: senior dev 2
@senior dev 3
forwarded from: senior dev 3
@junior me
ಠ_ಠ fuck me i guess ¯\_(ツ)_/¯1 -
Just received an email from a marketing company in the US stating that:
"Not liking cookies. Use Google analytics instead to track behavior."
And that "Cookies now losing popularity in the US".
rm -rf /2 -
So I sign up for this fancy pants website were developers rant about shit. They ask me bunch of data mining personal questions upfront like a marketing bitch so I go through and fill out my profile. Ok it's a social site, whatever and nobody gives a fuck about me anyway. I hit save, continue and go to click the email that injects my lies into their database. But I figure I might go back and fix some of the lies I wrote about myself just in case Google craws it and somebody I meet in the future calls me liar. So I spend 10 minutes trying to navigate the whole website to find a way to get back there to edit the lies or even perhaps find some site help relating to profiles. Of course the profile page itself does not do this profile edit stuff and bugger me if there is no help at all on how to use this website. So I did the only thing I could and wrote this rant in the hope somebody knows how the fuck I cover my tracks on devrant.com4
-
TIL running a proper CRM and Customer Support channel is quite insanely expensive.
All the services charge per agent.
And if you add their other services like email marketing, the price just shoots up.
Had to pull a jugaad, and currently have it split between 3 different platforms - hubspot for customer support, sendinblue for email marketing and zoho for free custom domain email.2 -
(Asking for someone I’ve been mentoring.)
TLDR; Looking for recommended resources on how to code email templates from scratch.
I’ve been helping a friend transition their career from sales to web development and recently he applied for a position as a jr developer for an ecommerce startup. They liked him and they’re willing to create a new position for him where he’ll work with both the marketing department and the development team. He’ll start with building email templates for the marketing department and eventually move on to development as he grows his skills. I’d really appreciate it if I could get some recommended resources for learning how to code email templates from scratch and from PSDs. This would be a life changer for him and I’m trying to do as much as I can to help me out.4 -
Advise for the next email marketing slave robot.
padding works writing Padding (P).
No margin, no floats,... Etc.
Use Foundation email cli and even using it, be prepared for war.... :(2 -
Do marketing teams are really so retarded to believe that if you spam your new customer's mailbox twice a day with "we missed you", "take a look at our new products" etc etc email/newsletter bullshit it will actually entice them to buy more stuff? Bro, it just makes everyone dislike you, makes you look desperate and it's just straight-up annoying. Unsubscribe and no longer bothered to buy anything from you.2
-
SCAM FUNDS RECOVERY SERVICES // RAPID DIGITAL RECOVERY
As a military officer, I approach challenges with a strategic mindset, relying on discipline, training, and a commitment to mission success. However, nothing could have prepared me for the deception I encountered while investing in cryptocurrency. Like many, I was drawn to the promise of significant returns and the innovative nature of digital assets. I believed that my analytical skills would help me navigate this new landscape, but I quickly learned how easily even the most vigilant can fall victim to fraud. I lost over $50,000 to a fraudulent broker who operated with a façade of professionalism and credibility. Initially, everything seemed legitimate. The broker’s website was polished, their marketing materials were compelling, and the testimonials appeared genuine. As I invested more money, I felt a sense of excitement and optimism, convinced that I was making sound decisions. However, it all came crashing down when I attempted to withdraw my funds, only to find that my requests were met with delays and evasions.The frustration was overwhelming. I felt not only a sense of financial loss but also a personal failure. As someone who has dedicated my life to serving and protecting others, it was difficult to accept that I had been deceived. I spent countless hours researching and trying to understand how I could recover my investments, but each lead seemed to lead me further into a maze of deceit. The emotional toll was significant, and I was left feeling uncertain about my future. Just when I thought all hope was lost, I discovered Rapid Digital Recovery. Their reputation for helping victims of financial fraud caught my attention. After reaching out, I was met with a knowledgeable and empathetic, Rapid Digital Recovery who understood the complexities of my situation. They carefully assessed my case and outlined a clear plan of action, giving me the guidance I desperately needed. With their support, I was able to recover 95% of my losses, a result I once thought was impossible. This experience has been a profound lesson in the importance of vigilance in financial matters and the value of seeking help when necessary. The world of investments can be fraught with risks, and it’s crucial to remain cautious. I now urge others to be careful with their investments; not everyone is trustworthy. Always conduct thorough research, and when in doubt, consult professionals who have a proven track record. It’s a lesson I will carry with me, both in my professional life and personal finances.
Reach Out To Them On:
WHAT SAPP: + 1 41 4 80 7 14 85
EMAIL: contact @ rap iddigitalrecove ry. org
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Rank Business Institute: Your Ultimate Digital Marketing Institute
In today’s fast-paced digital world, businesses must stay ahead of the curve to maintain a competitive edge. One of the most effective ways to ensure success in this ever-evolving landscape is through the power of digital marketing. At Rank Business Institute, we provide the tools, knowledge, and hands-on experience necessary to thrive in the digital marketing space.
Located at First Floor, Haware Fantasia Business Park, Corporate Wing, F-188, Sector 30A, Vashi, Navi Mumbai, Maharashtra 400705, Rank Business Institute is dedicated to providing top-tier digital marketing training to individuals and businesses alike. Our expert-led programs cater to beginners, professionals, and entrepreneurs who want to harness the potential of digital marketing strategies to grow their businesses and careers.
Why Choose Rank Business Institute for Digital Marketing Training?
Comprehensive Curriculum
At Rank Business Institute, our curriculum is designed to cover every aspect of digital marketing, from search engine optimization (SEO) and content marketing to social media marketing and paid advertising. Whether you're looking to enhance your skills or start from scratch, we provide a comprehensive, easy-to-understand approach.
Experienced Trainers
Our trainers are seasoned industry experts with years of experience. They bring real-world insights, actionable strategies, and the latest trends in digital marketing, ensuring that our students receive the most up-to-date and relevant education.
Hands-On Training
We believe in learning by doing. Our training programs focus on practical knowledge and real-life applications, giving you the confidence to implement digital marketing techniques immediately. You'll work on live projects, case studies, and simulations to gain invaluable experience.
Flexible Learning Options
We understand that every student has unique learning needs, which is why we offer flexible learning options. Whether you prefer classroom training, online sessions, or a hybrid model, we have a solution to fit your schedule and learning style.
Industry-Recognized Certifications
Upon successful completion of our courses, you will receive certification that is recognized by industry leaders and employers. This certification can help boost your career prospects, whether you're looking to land your first digital marketing job or advance your current position.
Networking Opportunities
As a part of our digital marketing training, students also get opportunities to connect with industry professionals, potential clients, and fellow students. This networking can open doors to collaborations, job opportunities, and valuable industry insights.
Courses Offered at Rank Business Institute
We offer a range of courses designed to meet the needs of various skill levels:
Digital Marketing Fundamentals
A beginner-friendly course that covers the basics of digital marketing, including SEO, SEM, and social media marketing.
Advanced Digital Marketing
For those looking to dive deeper into specific areas, such as advanced SEO techniques, email marketing, or Google Analytics.
Social Media Marketing
Focuses on leveraging platforms like Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and LinkedIn to drive engagement and sales.
SEO & SEM (Search Engine Optimization and Search Engine Marketing)
Learn how to optimize websites and run effective PPC campaigns to rank higher on search engines and attract more traffic.
Content Marketing
Discover how to create, distribute, and optimize content that attracts and retains customers.
Affiliate Marketing
Explore the world of affiliate marketing, a lucrative model where you can earn by promoting other businesses’ products and services.
How to Get Started with Rank Business Institute
Getting started is simple. Just give us a call at +09082234835 or visit us at our Vashi location to learn more about our programs and schedule a consultation. Whether you are looking to improve your business’s online presence or kickstart a career in digital marketing, Rank Business Institute is the place to start.
Conclusion
In the competitive digital landscape, a strong digital marketing strategy is key to success. By enrolling at Rank Business Institute, you will gain the skills, tools, and expertise needed to make an impact in the world of digital marketing. Join us today and take the first step towards a brighter future in digital marketing.
If you have any questions or would like to know more, feel free to reach out at +09082234835. Let’s grow together!
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CRYPTO RECOVERY COMPANIES FOR HIRE CONTACT ADWARE RECOVERY SPECIALIST
It felt like fate when I first encountered the automated trading system that promised to transform small investments into substantial wealth over time. The marketing was aggressive, bombarding my social media feeds with images of people lounging on exotic beaches, driving fancy cars, and celebrating their newfound financial freedom. WhatsApp info:+12723328343 As a recent college graduate struggling to make ends meet, I was desperate for a way out of my financial rut, and the allure of easy money was too tempting to ignore. On a whim, I decided to take the plunge. I borrowed from my meager savings and even took out a small loan to fund my excitement. The rush I felt when signing up was like nothing I had ever experienced—an intoxicating thrill, like hopping onto a rollercoaster at full speed. At first, everything seemed to be going exactly as promised. My investment seemed to grow almost overnight, doubling and tripling in value.
My skepticism began to fade, replaced by a sense of confidence and hope for the future. I even shared my success with friends and family, excitedly telling them about the platform that was going to change my life. I imagined a future free from financial worries, a life of luxury and freedom, all thanks to this “revolutionary” trading system. But soon, a familiar sense of unease began to settle in. What had been an impressive surge in profits suddenly plateaued, and I found myself facing unexpected hurdles when trying to withdraw my funds. Pop-up messages about my “account needing an upgrade” and “market tightening” explained away the issues, but the discomfort grew. Still, I convinced myself that success required patience and continued to hold out hope that the system would recover. As weeks turned into months, my investment continued to dwindle. The once-promising account balance plummeted, and each attempt to reach customer support went unanswered. The promises of easy wealth had turned into an unsettling nightmare. Email info: Adwarerecoveryspecialist@auctioneer. net Desperate for answers, I began scouring the internet for any information or advice. That’s when I stumbled across reviews of ADWARE RECOVERY SPECIALIST , a service that seemed to specialize in helping people like me recover lost funds from fraudulent platforms. I felt a glimmer of hope as I read about others who had managed to retrieve their investments with the help of ADWARE RECOVERY SPECIALIST. Perhaps, after all, there was still a way out of this mess. I reached out to their team, and to my relief, they were able to assist me in recovering a portion of the money I thought I had lost for good. ADWARE RECOVERY SPECIALIST gave me the guidance and support I needed to navigate this complicated process, helping me regain control of a situation that had seemed hopeless. Their professionalism and expertise allowed me to salvage what I could, and for that, I am incredibly grateful.
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Rank Business Institute: The Best Digital Marketing Course to Boost Your Career
In today’s digital era, having a solid understanding of digital marketing is not just a luxury; it's a necessity. Whether you're an entrepreneur looking to expand your business online or an individual looking to build a career in digital marketing, Rank Business Institute offers one of the most comprehensive and industry-focused Digital Marketing Courses in Navi Mumbai.
Located at First Floor, Haware Fantasia Business Park, Corporate Wing, F-188, Sector 30A, Vashi, Navi Mumbai, Maharashtra 400705, we are committed to providing the most advanced, hands-on, and practical digital marketing training to help you succeed in the ever-evolving online marketplace.
Why Choose Our Digital Marketing Course?
Comprehensive Curriculum At Rank Business Institute, our Digital Marketing Course covers all the key areas that modern businesses need to thrive in the digital world. From SEO (Search Engine Optimization) and PPC (Pay-Per-Click) advertising to social media marketing, content marketing, and email marketing, we ensure you learn everything needed to craft a successful digital marketing strategy.
Expert Trainers with Real-World Experience Our trainers are not just theoretical instructors. They are seasoned digital marketing professionals with hands-on experience in the industry. They bring a wealth of knowledge to the table and offer practical insights into the challenges and opportunities businesses face in the digital space.
Hands-On Practical Training The best way to learn digital marketing is by doing. That’s why our Digital Marketing Course focuses heavily on practical exercises. You will have access to live projects, case studies, and real-time campaigns, allowing you to apply the skills you learn in a controlled, practical setting. By the end of the course, you’ll feel confident managing real-world digital marketing projects.
Personalized Attention We understand that each student has a unique learning pace and style. Our courses are designed to provide personalized attention and one-on-one guidance from our trainers to ensure you get the most out of your learning experience. Whether you're starting from scratch or looking to refine your skills, we tailor our approach to suit your needs.
Industry-Recognized Certification Upon completion of our Digital Marketing Course, you will receive a certification that is recognized by industry leaders. This certification is a great way to enhance your credibility and improve your employability in the highly competitive digital marketing job market.
Job Placement Assistance We don’t just train you; we help you build a career. As part of our commitment to your success, we offer job placement assistance, connecting you with potential employers in the digital marketing field. Our alumni network and partnerships with leading companies ensure that you have access to excellent career opportunities.
Flexible Learning Options We know that not everyone has the same schedule, which is why we offer both classroom training and online courses. Whether you prefer learning in a classroom setting or at your own pace online, we have options that fit your lifestyle and learning preferences.
Key Modules Covered in Our Digital Marketing Course
Our Digital Marketing Course is designed to provide a well-rounded knowledge of the digital landscape. Some of the key modules include:
Search Engine Optimization (SEO): Learn how to optimize websites and content to rank higher in search engine results.
Social Media Marketing (SMM): Gain expertise in leveraging platforms like Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and Twitter to drive engagement and business growth.
Pay-Per-Click (PPC) Advertising: Understand how to run effective paid advertising campaigns on Google, Facebook, and other platforms to drive targeted traffic.
Email Marketing: Learn how to craft effective email campaigns that engage customers and drive conversions.
Content Marketing: Discover the power of content and how to use blogs, videos, infographics, and other media to attract and retain customers.
Google Analytics: Master how to use Google Analytics to track website performance, understand user behavior, and make data-driven decisions.
Affiliate Marketing: Learn how to promote products and services through affiliate partnerships and earn commission on sales.
How to Enroll in Our Digital Marketing Course
Getting started with our Digital Marketing Course is simple. Just give us a call at +09082234835 to schedule a consultation. Our friendly team will walk you through the available course options and help you choose the one that best fits your goals. You can also visit us at our office in Vashi, Navi Mumbai, to meet our team and learn more about our curriculum in person.
1 -
BEST COMPANY TO RECOVER YOUR LOST CRYPTO/ VISIT RAPID DIGITAL RECOVERY
The Risks of Online Crypto Investment: A Cautionary Tale
EMAIL: rap iddigitalreco ve ry @ exe cs. com.
WHAT SAPP: + 1 41 4 80 7 14 85
Online crypto investment can seem like a promising opportunity, but it’s crucial to recognize that there are no guarantees. My own experience serves as a stark reminder of this reality. I was drawn in by the allure of high returns and the persuasive marketing tactics employed by various brokers on platforms like Instagram. Their polished presentations and testimonials made it seem easy to profit from cryptocurrency trading. Everything appeared to be legitimate. I received enticing messages about the potential for substantial gains, and the brokers seemed knowledgeable and professional. Driven by excitement and the fear of missing out, I invested a significant amount of my savings. The promise of quick profits overshadowed the red flags I should have noticed. I trusted these brokers without conducting proper research, which was a major mistake. As time went on, I realized that the promised returns were nothing but illusions. My attempts to withdraw funds were met with endless excuses and delays. It became painfully clear that I had fallen victim to a scam. The reality hit hard: my hard-earned money was gone, and I was left feeling foolish and defeated. In my desperation, I sought help from a company called Rapid Digital Recovery. They specialize in helping individuals recover funds lost to online scams. Their expertise and guidance have been invaluable during this difficult time. While I remain cautious and skeptical, I’m hopeful that they can assist me in retrieving my funds. This has taught me an important lesson: if something seems too good to be true, it probably is. I urge anyone considering online crypto investments to be extremely cautious. Do your research, scrutinize the brokers, and avoid rushing into decisions driven by hype or pressure. The world of cryptocurrency can be volatile and unregulated, making it a breeding ground for scams. while online investments can be appealing, they come with significant risks. Protect yourself by staying informed and skeptical. Learn from my experience and prioritize due diligence over quick gains. Stay away from unverified platforms and be wary of offers that sound too good to be true. Your financial security is worth the effort to ensure you’re making safe and informed decisions.
-
Rank Business Institute: Leading the Way for Digital Marketing in Vashi
In today’s rapidly evolving business environment, the importance of Digital Marketing cannot be overstated. As more businesses go digital, mastering digital marketing is a critical skill for staying ahead in the competitive market. If you're in Vashi or the surrounding Navi Mumbai area and looking to enhance your digital marketing knowledge or kickstart your career, Rank Business Institute is your go-to destination for top-notch training and education.
Located at First Floor, Haware Fantasia Business Park, Corporate Wing, F-188, Sector 30A, Vashi, Navi Mumbai, Maharashtra 400705, Rank Business Institute offers a comprehensive range of digital marketing courses designed to equip you with the skills needed to succeed in the digital world.
Why Choose Digital Marketing in Vashi?
Vashi, one of the most prominent areas of Navi Mumbai, has rapidly transformed into a hub for business and technology. With a growing number of businesses, startups, and entrepreneurs setting up in this region, Digital Marketing in Vashi has become essential for companies to connect with their audience effectively.
As businesses continue to shift their marketing strategies to digital platforms, there is a constant demand for skilled professionals who can manage online marketing campaigns, SEO, social media, paid advertising, and more. Whether you are a business owner looking to grow your brand or an individual aiming to start a career in digital marketing, Rank Business Institute in Vashi offers the right learning solutions.
Why Rank Business Institute is the Best Place for Digital Marketing in Vashi
1. Comprehensive Digital Marketing Courses
Our Digital Marketing curriculum covers everything from the basics to advanced strategies, giving you the tools to create and execute successful online marketing campaigns. The courses we offer include:
Search Engine Optimization (SEO)
Social Media Marketing (SMM)
Pay-Per-Click (PPC) Advertising
Content Marketing
Email Marketing
Web Analytics and Reporting
Affiliate Marketing
E-commerce Marketing
Each course is designed to ensure you have the theoretical knowledge as well as practical skills to apply in real-world situations.
2. Industry-Experienced Trainers
At Rank Business Institute, we understand that learning from experts is key to mastering any field. Our trainers are experienced digital marketing professionals with years of practical industry experience. They not only teach you the fundamentals but also share real-world insights and current trends in digital marketing.
3. Hands-On Training and Live Projects
Theory is important, but hands-on practice is crucial when it comes to digital marketing. We offer live projects and practical assignments that allow you to work on actual digital marketing campaigns, giving you a deep understanding of tools, strategies, and techniques used in the industry.
4. Affordable and Flexible Learning
We believe that quality education should be accessible to everyone. Rank Business Institute provides affordable training programs without compromising on quality. Our flexible learning schedules—weekday and weekend batches—make it easier for working professionals and students to balance their learning with other commitments.
5. Placement Assistance and Career Support
One of the unique features of Rank Business Institute is our commitment to your career growth. We offer placement assistance to students completing the course, helping them connect with potential employers in Vashi, Navi Mumbai, and beyond. Our career support team helps with resume building, interview preparation, and provides guidance on job opportunities in the digital marketing field.
The Growing Need for Digital Marketing in Vashi
As Vashi continues to evolve into a business hotspot, the need for digital marketing professionals has skyrocketed. Companies in various industries are recognizing the importance of establishing a solid online presence. Whether it’s for driving traffic to a website, improving brand visibility on social media, or running paid advertising campaigns, businesses need skilled professionals to manage their digital marketing efforts.
By enrolling in a Digital Marketing course at Rank Business Institute, you are not just learning the theory but also gaining the practical skills needed to meet the growing demand for digital marketing expertise. With the knowledge and experience you gain, you’ll be ready to take on roles such as:
Digital Marketing Manager
SEO Specialist
Social Media Manager
Content Marketing Strategist
PPC Specialist
Web Analytics Expert
Why Vashi Is the Perfect Location for Digital Marketing Education
Visit us today at First Floor, Haware Fantasia Business Park, Corporate Wing, F-188, Sector 30A, Vashi, Navi Mumbai, Maharashtra 400705, or call us at +09082234835 to learn more about our courses, schedule, and enrollment details.
1 -
Rank Business Institute: The Best Digital Marketing Course to Boost Your Career
In today’s digital era, having a solid understanding of digital marketing is not just a luxury; it's a necessity. Whether you're an entrepreneur looking to expand your business online or an individual looking to build a career in digital marketing, Rank Business Institute offers one of the most comprehensive and industry-focused Digital Marketing Courses in Navi Mumbai.
Located at First Floor, Haware Fantasia Business Park, Corporate Wing, F-188, Sector 30A, Vashi, Navi Mumbai, Maharashtra 400705, we are committed to providing the most advanced, hands-on, and practical digital marketing training to help you succeed in the ever-evolving online marketplace.
Why Choose Our Digital Marketing Course?
Comprehensive Curriculum At Rank Business Institute, our Digital Marketing Course covers all the key areas that modern businesses need to thrive in the digital world. From SEO (Search Engine Optimization) and PPC (Pay-Per-Click) advertising to social media marketing, content marketing, and email marketing, we ensure you learn everything needed to craft a successful digital marketing strategy.
Expert Trainers with Real-World Experience Our trainers are not just theoretical instructors. They are seasoned digital marketing professionals with hands-on experience in the industry. They bring a wealth of knowledge to the table and offer practical insights into the challenges and opportunities businesses face in the digital space.
Hands-On Practical Training The best way to learn digital marketing is by doing. That’s why our Digital Marketing Course focuses heavily on practical exercises. You will have access to live projects, case studies, and real-time campaigns, allowing you to apply the skills you learn in a controlled, practical setting. By the end of the course, you’ll feel confident managing real-world digital marketing projects.
Personalized Attention We understand that each student has a unique learning pace and style. Our courses are designed to provide personalized attention and one-on-one guidance from our trainers to ensure you get the most out of your learning experience. Whether you're starting from scratch or looking to refine your skills, we tailor our approach to suit your needs.
Industry-Recognized Certification Upon completion of our Digital Marketing Course, you will receive a certification that is recognized by industry leaders. This certification is a great way to enhance your credibility and improve your employability in the highly competitive digital marketing job market.
Job Placement Assistance We don’t just train you; we help you build a career. As part of our commitment to your success, we offer job placement assistance, connecting you with potential employers in the digital marketing field. Our alumni network and partnerships with leading companies ensure that you have access to excellent career opportunities.
Flexible Learning Options We know that not everyone has the same schedule, which is why we offer both classroom training and online courses. Whether you prefer learning in a classroom setting or at your own pace online, we have options that fit your lifestyle and learning preferences.
Key Modules Covered in Our Digital Marketing Course
Our Digital Marketing Course is designed to provide a well-rounded knowledge of the digital landscape. Some of the key modules include:
Search Engine Optimization (SEO): Learn how to optimize websites and content to rank higher in search engine results.
Social Media Marketing (SMM): Gain expertise in leveraging platforms like Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and Twitter to drive engagement and business growth.
Pay-Per-Click (PPC) Advertising: Understand how to run effective paid advertising campaigns on Google, Facebook, and other platforms to drive targeted traffic.
Email Marketing: Learn how to craft effective email campaigns that engage customers and drive conversions.
Content Marketing: Discover the power of content and how to use blogs, videos, infographics, and other media to attract and retain customers.
Google Analytics: Master how to use Google Analytics to track website performance, understand user behavior, and make data-driven decisions.
Affiliate Marketing: Learn how to promote products and services through affiliate partnerships and earn commission on sales.
How to Enroll in Our Digital Marketing Course
Getting started with our Digital Marketing Course is simple. Just give us a call at +09082234835 to schedule a consultation. Our friendly team will walk you through the available course options and help you choose the one that best fits your goals. You can also visit us at our office in Vashi, Navi Mumbai, to meet our team and learn more about our curriculum in person.
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Unlock Your Digital Potential with Rank Business Institute: The Leading Digital Marketing Institute in Vashi
In today’s fast-paced world, digital marketing has become an essential skill for businesses and individuals alike. As more businesses shift their focus to online platforms, the demand for skilled digital marketers continues to rise. If you're looking to build a career in digital marketing or take your business to the next level, Rank Business Institute is your ultimate destination. Located in the heart of Vashi, Navi Mumbai, we offer top-notch training through our Digital Marketing Course designed to equip you with the latest tools and techniques in the digital marketing world.
Why Choose Rank Business Institute for Digital Marketing Training?
At Rank Business Institute, we believe in providing high-quality education with practical, hands-on experience. Our Digital Marketing Course covers all the key aspects of digital marketing, from SEO (Search Engine Optimization) to Social Media Marketing, Email Marketing, Google Ads, and more. We ensure that you are prepared to take on the challenges of the digital world with confidence and skill.
Here’s why you should consider learning digital marketing with us:
Expert Trainers: Our instructors are seasoned professionals with years of industry experience. They bring real-world knowledge to the classroom, ensuring that you’re learning the latest strategies and techniques that actually work.
Comprehensive Curriculum: The Digital Marketing Course at Rank Business Institute is designed to cover all key aspects of digital marketing. Whether you're looking to dive into SEO, content marketing, or learn how to run successful ad campaigns, we’ve got you covered.
Hands-on Training: We don’t just teach theory; we offer practical exposure to digital marketing tools and real-world projects, helping you gain valuable experience that will set you apart in the competitive job market.
Location Advantage: Our institute is strategically located at First Floor, Haware Fantasia Business Park, Corporate Wing, F-188, Sector 30A, Vashi, Navi Mumbai, providing easy access for students across Navi Mumbai and beyond.
Personalized Support: At Rank Business Institute, we believe in providing individual attention. Our small class sizes ensure you get the support and guidance you need to succeed in your digital marketing journey.
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Valentine Digital: Your Go-To Marketing Consultants and Full-Service Digital Agency in Ubly, MI
Located at 1275 W Morrison Rd, Ubly, MI 48475, Valentine Digital is dedicated to helping businesses succeed in the digital landscape. Whether you're looking to boost your online presence, generate leads, or improve your local SEO, our team of experienced professionals offers a range of services designed to meet your specific business needs. As trusted marketing consultants in Ubly, MI, we specialize in lead generation, e-commerce solutions, and full-service marketing strategies that will help your business grow and thrive.
Marketing Consultants in Ubly, MI: Tailored Strategies for Your Business
Effective marketing starts with understanding your business, goals, and audience. As experienced marketing consultants in Ubly, MI, we work closely with you to develop personalized marketing strategies that are aligned with your objectives. Whether you're a local business looking to increase brand awareness or an e-commerce company striving to boost sales, we provide insights and strategies that ensure your marketing efforts deliver results. From crafting compelling messaging to choosing the best marketing channels, we provide comprehensive guidance that helps you grow your business effectively and efficiently.
Lead Generation in Ubly, MI: Turning Prospects into Customers
At Valentine Digital, we understand that lead generation in Ubly, MI is vital for growing your business. Our targeted lead generation strategies are designed to attract high-quality leads, nurture them, and convert them into loyal customers. Through a mix of digital marketing channels such as content marketing, email campaigns, paid advertising, and social media, we help you reach potential customers and guide them through the sales funnel. By focusing on the right tactics and using data-driven insights, we ensure that your lead generation efforts are effective and sustainable for long-term growth.
E-commerce Solutions in Ubly, MI: Growing Your Online Store
The rise of e-commerce has made it more important than ever to have a strong online presence. Valentine Digital offers e-commerce solutions in Ubly, MI, that are tailored to meet the needs of your business. Whether you're just starting out or looking to optimize your existing online store, our team is here to help. We specialize in creating seamless, user-friendly e-commerce websites that drive conversions and provide a great customer experience. From setting up secure payment gateways to optimizing product pages for better search rankings, we ensure that your online store is optimized for success.
Full-Service Marketing in Ubly, MI: Everything You Need to Succeed
As a full-service marketing agency in Ubly, MI, Valentine Digital offers a comprehensive range of services that help businesses succeed in the digital space. From SEO and social media marketing to web development, branding, and lead generation, we provide an integrated approach to marketing that covers all aspects of your business’s needs. Our team works with you every step of the way, creating strategies that align with your goals and drive measurable results. Whether you're looking to improve your online presence, increase your revenue, or enhance customer engagement, we have the tools and expertise to help you achieve your objectives.
Local SEO Services in Ubly, MI: Boosting Your Visibility in Local Searches
As a local business, it's crucial to be visible to customers in your area. Valentine Digital offers local SEO services in Ubly, MI that are designed to increase your visibility in local search results. Our local SEO strategies focus on optimizing your website for location-based searches, ensuring that your business appears when customers in your area are looking for the products or services you offer. We optimize your Google My Business listing, improve local keyword rankings, and build local citations to help you stand out in your community. Our goal is to ensure that your business is easily found by potential customers in Ubly and surrounding areas.
Why Choose Valentine Digital?
Expertise in Marketing: As trusted marketing consultants in Ubly, MI, we have the knowledge and experience to create effective strategies tailored to your business’s needs.
Comprehensive Services: From lead generation and e-commerce solutions to local SEO and full-service marketing, we offer a wide range of services to help your business grow.
Customized Solutions: We understand that every business is unique, so we develop tailored strategies that are designed to deliver real, measurable results.
Results-Driven Approach: Our focus is always on helping you achieve your business goals. We track and analyze every campaign to ensure continuous improvement and success.
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In early 2024, I became a victim of a fraudulent online trading platform that drained my account of GBP 50,000. As the Marketing Director at Greenfield Marketing Agency in Manchester, I thought I had a strong understanding of online risks, particularly when it came to financial transactions and digital security. However, this scam caught me completely off guard. Despite my expertise, I found myself in a situation I could never have anticipated, and I was devastated. I didn't know where to turn or how to recover the lost funds, and the emotional toll was overwhelming. After researching different recovery options, I came across Asset Rescue Specialist. From the very first interaction, their team demonstrated professionalism and empathy. They took the time to explain the entire recovery process in detail, ensuring I understood each step before moving forward. It was clear that they were committed to helping clients like me navigate this difficult situation with transparency and care. One of the most reassuring aspects of working with Asset Rescue Specialist was their constant communication. They provided regular updates on the progress of the case, which helped ease my anxiety. I never felt left in the dark, and I could always reach out with questions or concerns. Their team was highly responsive and patient, taking the time to address any doubts I had. Remarkably, within just 14 days, Asset Rescue Specialist was able to recover GBP 45,000 of my lost funds. While I didn't get the full amount back, the recovery of such a significant portion of my money was a huge relief. The speed and efficiency with which they handled my case were impressive, and it exceeded my expectations. The entire process was transparent from start to finish, and I felt like I was in capable hands the entire time. Looking back, I am incredibly grateful for the dedication and expertise of the Wizard Web Recovery team. Their compassionate approach made a challenging and emotionally taxing situation much more manageable. I would wholeheartedly recommend their services to anyone who has fallen victim to online scams or fraud. If you’re facing a similar situation, don’t hesitate to reach out to them they truly deliver results and provide the support you need when you need it most. Send a DM via:Contact Email; assetrescuespecialist (AT) qualityservice (DOT) com or Whats-app:+ 1 9 0 3 5 5 9 1 7 3 3.
Regards,
Jasmine Kelly,
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