This happened few hours ago.

Client: I received an email which says that I won 1 million dollars. They gave me a link in the email, when I entered my credit card details nothing happened.
Me: Wait what? You entered your credit card details.
Client: Yes
Me: That was a scam, you didn’t win anything. They stole your credit details. Contact your bank ASAP and let them know about this.
Client: You guys are handling our email servers, why can’t you guys keep it safe. What type of security do you guys provide.
Me: Wait what? We host your website application not email.
Client: Damn it. My son said the same thing, but I didn’t listen to him. Anyways Cheers.

I know it wasn't ethical, but I had to do it.

Semester 4 started this week, we all got to vote which day we wanted the lecture to be held on. There were quite a few options. My preference was Monday at 7:30pm.

So I entered the poll, as I have every other semester. But I noticed something, this particular poll didn't require any form of identification. Not even a Student ID.

I dug deeper, found that it used local cookies to store weather you'd voted or not, this is obviously a security problem, so I opened up Python and wrote a simple Selenium program to automate this process.

I called it the "Vote Smasher". First it would open the webpage, then it would choose Monday 7:30pm and vote. Then it would clear it's cookies, refresh and do it over again.

I ran it fifty times.

Can you guess what the revealed vote was for UCD SP4 IT was?

I heard my lecturer mutter:
"The votes aren't usually this slanted..."

I could hardly contain my giggles.
My vote won by about fifty over the others 😂

Let me just say, it was his fault for choosing such a naive poll system in the first place 😉

I know I should not be naming names but WalmartLabs Hackfest 2016 was actually a fuckfest. It was supposed to be a 14 day online hackathon followed by an offline event for top teams. I got in top 6 among the 4350 participants.

In the offline event:

1. They didn't allow us to give live demo of the project. Instead they asked us to present a ppt. The HR idiot even asked me to take screenshots of my cli app and put that in instead.

2. 4 out of the 6 teams actually presented their startup products. It was supposed to be a 14 day hackathon for fucks sake. How can you present some shit that you were working on for the last 1.5 years! This one team literally had "Copyright 2015" mentioned on their product page. This another team had 100,000+ downloads on his app already. Of course Walmart didn't care about it. They didn't listen to my complaint. I wish I had created a scene there :( Another team was boasting on stage about how they got selected in the FB startup accelerator and how they won 3 more hackathon (evidently equally shit) using their shit. This was met with praises from the judges.

3. The results were declared after 3 fucking months! Don't organize this shit next time if you don't have any interest, bitch.

4. The code was supposedly never checked. Other teams kept working on their shit for the 3 months in between. In the live presentation, this guy even had photoshopped a feature which wasn't even present there (and he boasted about it later on).

5. Hackerearth (platform for the hackathon) was equally incompetent in this mishap of a hackathon. One of the teams which won had one the previous hackathon (Pluralsight hackathon) as well on Hackerearth using the same fucking product. What pieces of shit >.<

6. The hackathon was supposed to be tech based and all the categories were like that. Instead the teams presented business models and shit like that and judges focused more on that. They were not concerned about the technical aspects at all. The more noise you made, the more lies you told, the better chance you had to win it.

7. They were supposed to give prizes in 4 categories but silently reduced it to 3 on the event day. They still publicised it as 4 prizes until now.

All of the above is true and I am willing to testify if someone asks for it. I am going to write a nice blog post about it and post it to their idiot HR.

Hackathon: WalmartLabs Hackfest 2016
Team name: psyduck (which is just me)

Sorry for being too salty but it was indeed a fuckfest.

"You make websites?! I need a website! For a great client like me, it would look great on your portfolio! So you wouldn't want money right?!"

Yeah mate, cause communism won the war and I can live off kindness, puppies, and rainbows.

So my school got invited to this coding competition for high-schoolers and among them, I was a part member and part mentor along side our CS professor since I was the most proficient coding stuff (although most of I do were JS and Python stuff although i can read other code)

Then this guy showed up.

He was picked by the faculty to take the WebDev competition. He knows how to use Photoshop for Photo retouchings and stuff but here's a problem.

He can't code nor make a proper website design.

So being the kind person I am, I volunteered to teach him what I know about frontend and HTML. This goes on for 4 weeks of nonstop practices, coding sessions and finally, Code In The Dark-style practice (which involves the person to code a full website for only 15 minutes).

When he was able to finish and mastered some of what I taught. I gave him the go signal and we were on to the road to victory.

Unfortunately our first try, we won nothing.

He said after the competition "I give up man, I can't take this!" but I said, "Just because you lost a f*cking competition once, doesn't mean you're a motherf*cking loser in life. There's still one more chance."

So I pressured our WebDev guy to be more better, taught him about mockups, JavaScript and etc.

Then the second attempt a year later, me and the WebDev guy won and moved on the finals. However, he didn't win the finals and I was the lone champion reprsenting our school.

Although he didn't win, he was happy I carried the torch and win the prize.

Prior to that, he asked me "Hey, how to be like you?"

I only answered, "Achievements are just gold with cloth and paper. Wear it lightly".

Fast forward to today, he's now the school's head design coordinator and layout designer for their newspaper column. He also practices his coding skills by frequenting on our coding sessions even when the competition was over.

But whenever someone asks "who taught you this?" he would only look to me, smile and say "that person right there".

Oops. I... I did... I did not... solder... ahh, you won.

I recently joined the dark side - an agile consulting company (why and how is a long story). The first client I was assigned to was an international bank. The client wanted a web portal, that was at its core, just a massive web form for their users to perform data entry.

My company pitched and won the project even though they didn't have a single developer on their bench. The entire project team (including myself) was fast tracked through interviews and hired very rapidly so that they could staff the project (a fact I found out months later).

Although I had ~8 years of systems programming experience, my entire web development experience amounted to 12 weeks (a part time web dev course) just before I got hired.

I introduce to you, my team ...

Scrum Master. 12 years experience on paper.
Rote memorised the agile manifesto and scrum textbooks. He constantly went “We should do X instead of (practical thing) Y, because X is the agile way.” Easily pressured by the client to include ridiculous (real time chat in a form filling webpage), and sometimes near impossible features (undo at the keystroke level). He would just nag at the devs until someone mumbled ‘yes' just so that he would stfu and go away.

UX Designer. 3 years experience on paper ... as business analyst.
Zero professional experience in UX. Can’t use design tools like AI / photoshop. All he has is 10 weeks of UX bootcamp and a massive chip on his shoulder. The client wanted a web form, he designed a monstrosity that included several custom components that just HAD to be put in, because UX. When we asked for clarification the reply was a usually condescending “you guys don’t understand UX, just do <insert unhandled edge case>, this is intended."

Developer - PHD in his first job.
Invents programming puzzles to solve where there are none. The user story asked for a upload file button. He implemented a queue system that made use of custom metadata to detect file extensions, file size, and other attributes, so that he could determine which file to synchronously upload first.

Developer - Bootlicker. 5 years experience on paper.
He tried to ingratiate himself with the management from day 1. He also writes code I would fire interns and fail students for. His very first PR corrupted the database. The most recent one didn’t even compile.

Developer - Millennial fratboy with a business degree. 8 years experience on paper.
His entire knowledge of programming amounted to a single data structures class he took on Coursera. Claims that’s all he needs. His PRs was a single 4000+ line files, of which 3500+ failed the linter, had numerous bugs / console warnings / compile warnings, and implemented 60% of functionality requested in the user story. Also forget about getting his attention whenever one of the pretty secretaries walked by. He would leap out of his seat and waltz off to flirt.

Developer - Brooding loner. 6 years experience on paper.
His code works. It runs, in exponential time. Simply ignores you when you attempt to ask.

Developer - Agile fullstack developer extraordinaire. 8 years experience on paper.
Insists on doing the absolute minimum required in the user story, because more would be a waste. Does not believe in thinking ahead for edge conditions because it isn’t in the story. Every single PR is a hack around existing code. Sometimes he hacks a hack that was initially hacked by him. No one understands the components he maintains.

Developer - Team lead. 10 years of programming experience on paper.
Writes spaghetti code with if/else blocks nested 6 levels deep. When asked "how does this work ?”, the answer “I don’t know the details, but hey it works!”. Assigned as the team lead as he had the most experience on paper. Tries organise technical discussions during which he speaks absolute gibberish that either make no sense, or are complete misunderstandings of how our system actually works.

The last 2 guys are actually highly regarded by my company and are several pay grades above me. The rest were hired because my company was desperate to staff the project.

There are a 3 more guys I didn’t mention. The 4 of us literally carried the project. The codebase is ugly as hell because the others merge in each others crap. We have no unit tests, and It’s near impossible to start because of the quality of the code. But this junk works, and was deployed to production. Today is it actually hailed as a success story.

All these 3 guys have quit. 2 of them quit without a job. 1 found a new and better gig.

I’m still here because I need the money. There’s a tsunami of trash code waiting to fail in production, and I’m the only one left holding the fort.

Why am I surrounded by morons?
Why are these retards paid more than me?
Why are they so proud when all they produce is trash?
How on earth are they still hired?

And yeah, FML.

Wrote my friend Sam a letter when I was still working in support. I think it still holds up today.

---

Dear Sam,

I understand that you will join us in our overseas office. Congratulations on landing that job. It’s good steady work. I’ve been doing it for the last ten years.

Your still young so maybe I can give you some little wisdom that will help you in your working years to come.

Let me begin by shedding some light on phone calls.

I try. I really do try Sam. But it is getting so hard for me to hold back the rage that builds up during certain phone calls. Especially the ‘Sorry, I just don’t know anything about computers! -giggle-’ ones.

Those are the times that I have no access to what they see. I’ve no team-viewer, can not take over that screen in any other way. And why-oh-why can I not take over that terminal session dear Sam? It’s because the caller can not double-click an icon or find a terminal session number.

And what is the reason for this? Because they ‘just don’t know anything about computers! -giggle-’. This is a sort of get-out-of-jail-free card. Beware of these callers Sam.

There is nothing so nerve-wrecking then finding yourself at the mercy of people describing Internet Explorer (do not even get me started) as ‘the big ‘E’, if they use Chrome for their webmail then they most likely will say ‘Mail’ if they mean Chrome. There is no logic Sam. That is just the way these people work.

They will suck all enjoyment out of your work. They will make you want to hunt them down in dark office hallways and show them your tears Sam. Because cry you will.

Sure, I understand that not everyone can be tech savvy. Why, if everyone would be, where would that leave us? No. I love the technologically challenged. They put the fiber in my internet. They make me LOL for real. After the initial anger subsides anyway.

But just below that well-willing folk, on the other side of that border… there they dwell: Management.

Nice cars, suits and iphones Sam. First thing a new manager will require is a brand spanking new business-card. It will hold his/her new title. Then an iphone or overpriced android model will follow suit.

Then they will barge into your office, holding it like it’s the next best thing since sliced bread.

Any manager will automatically assume that you will drop anything you are doing at the present moment to acknowledge the presence of greatness. Failing to do so will result in awkward yet fulfilling situations. I recommend that you do not take your hands of the keyboard and give only the slightest of nods after 5 minutes of complete silence and glaring.

Well… you feel the glare. You do not glare yourself. You do not break eye-contact with the monitor. It does not even matter if you are typing for real or not. I once clicked away happily for 5 minutes. I just typed ‘he is still there’ over and over again. Do not break down Sam. This moment will decide your relationship with this individual.

After the nod there will be a flood of words aimed in your general direction. You can disregard anything that is said. It boils down to ‘can not operate device’.

You then take the device from this person and put it next to you on your desk. You’ll ask the name of this simpleton, write it down on a sticky-note, slap that on the phone. Then you’ll write a random date in the not so near future on another sticky and hand that to the bewildered person in front of you.

It will usually utter some incoherent words about ‘needing, time or but’ (I find that ‘but’is a word they like. They tend to use it three or four times consecutive before you usher them through the door).

Now you’ve won Sam. Well… not really. But it will feel good, I can guarantee that.

This must do for now. A new suit is glaring at me for the last five minutes.

Felt good to do something productive with this time.

Take care,

Baltasar

P.s. I just noticed that there is some foam around his mouth. So if you encounter this, don’t worry: it seems to be perfectly normal.

Actual rant time. And oh boy, is it pissy.

If you've read my posts, you've caught glimpses of this struggle. And it's come to quite a head.

First off, let it be known that WINDOWS Boot Manager ate GRUB, not the other way around. Windows was the instigator here. And when I reinstalled GRUB, Windows threw a tantrum and won't boot anymore. I went through every obvious fix, everything tech support would ever think of, before I called them. I just got this laptop this week, so it must be in warranty, right? Wrong. The reseller only accepts it unopened, and the manufacturer only covers hardware issues. I found this after screaming past a pretty idiotic 'customer representative' ("Thank you for answering basic questions. Thank you for your patience. Thank you for repeating obvious information I didn't catch the first three times you said it. Thank you for letting me follow my script." For real. Are you tech support, or emotional support? You sound like a middle school counselor.) to an xkcd-shibboleth type 'advanced support'. All of this only to be told, "No, you can't fix it yourself, because we won't give you the license key YOU already bought with the computer." And we already know there's no way Microsoft is going to swoop in and save the day. It's their product that's so faulty in the first place. (Debian is perfectly fine.)

So I found a hidden partition with a single file called 'Image' and I'm currently researching how to reverse-engineer WIM and SWM files to basically replicate Dell's manufacturing process because they won't take it back even to do a simple factory reset and send it right back.

What the fuck, Dell.

As for you, Microsoft, you're going to make it so difficult to use your shit product that I have to choose between an arduous, dangerous, and likely illegal process to reclaim what I ALREADY BOUGHT, or just _not use_ a license key? (Which, there's no penalty for that.) Why am I going so far out of my way to legitimize myself to you, when you're probably selling backdoors and private data of mine anyway? Why do I owe you anything?

Oh, right. Because I couldn't get Fallout 3 to run in Wine. Because the game industry follows money, not common sense. Because you marketed upon idiocy and cheapness and won a global share.

Fuck you. Fuck everything. Gah.

VS Code is pretty good, though.

Professor in college: We have our fest coming up. We need some volunteers for technical team to build website and android app.

*She says that and looks towards guys. Some guys raise hands saying they were interested.*

She didn't look towards girls even though some girls were raising their hands too.

Then she looked at girls finally....and she said "Oh you girls are interested too? We have cultural and decoration team. You can join that. "

I was triggered to next level.

I stood up and asked "Can't girls be part of technical team?"

She said "oh...yeah sure...." With not much hope that I would get into technical team.

But I ended up passing the screening round and got into technical team. She realised at that time that I knew my shit.....

There was even a time when I was in HODs office and she pointed at me and went "She is my student." trying to take credit for me being so Awesome ;)

LOL!

She was my guide for final year project too. We ended up writing a research paper and won best project award as well.

This was a year back. I have graduated and now I am working....
Just remembered....

Guys, Guys, Guys!
I've just won employee of the month! And you know what is even better? The elders of the internet allowed to lend the internet to me to use it in my speech! I couldn't be happier (they even know who I am!)

Wife - Lets go for a dinner tonight.

Husband (HR Manager) - Ok.

Husband - Should we go to a cheaper restaurant ?

Wife - No. Let's go to Royal Palace hotel.

Husband - (silence for a minute) - Ok, See you at 7.O 'Clock.

On the way, around 6.30 pm...

Husband - Once upon a time, I had pani puri competition with my sister and she ate 30 pani-puris(Search in Google, It is the most delicious chat) and defeated me.

Wife - What's so difficult in it?

Husband - Defeating me in Pani-puri eating competition is so difficult.

Wife - I can easily beat you.

Husband - Please leave it. It's not your cup of tea.

Wife - Let us have that competition right now.

Husband - So you want to see yourself defeated?

Wife - Let's see.

They both stop at a Pani-puri stall and start eating...

After about 30 Pani-puris the husband gave up.

The wife was also full, but to defeat her husband, she ate one more and shouted, *"You lose."*

The bill was Rs 50/- and wife was back home and happy as she won the bet.

Moral of the Story...

*Main aim of a HR Manager is to satisfy employee with minimum investments. Winning attitude with less investment, ensuring strong Return On Investment!* 😃😜😀😄😆😅😂😝😎

!rant

So I have been recently hired at my current job for leading a product team. We're a small team working in a big company which have other teams working on other projects. I like my work and I have been appreciated for my work which I did since my stay here.
So I and my manager were discussing about how more can we automate our workflow to reduce the time to get the final builds. It was late in night. Suddenly someone asked, 'did I hear automation?'. We turned to see our CTO listening to our conversation. He told us that he's having trouble with automation in his project. I was new, so I didn't know what did he work on, so I asked.
Me: So what did you guys work on?
CTO: well, we work on automating stuff for clients and save them money. We earn 100x revenue than your product (In a more humble tone). I am currently looking for someone who can lead a team of developers for handling the automation scripting part. *Provides description of the candidate* Do you guys know someone like that?
Manager: (pointing towards me) It looks like his description.
CTO: I want him in my team then.
Manager: That can't happen, he's required in very important stuff and you're not allowed to poach.
CTO: I think I have the right to poach 😉
Me: OK, so how much raise am I going to get to switch teams (to the manager) and how much am I going to get to stay? Whoever gives me more I am theirs.
CTO: I like this guy

It's day three, I am still awaiting for one of them to tell me who won 🙁

PS: They both are friends with each other.

I won that shirt at a typing contest. Can you BE more nerdy?

TL;DR: Tech companies. Don't ask for loyalty if you don't care about your people.

> I'm a gud Dev (and a gud boi).
> The company assing me a cool project.
> The company promised pay me the training. about that suite. They didn't.
> I finish the project and i'd accomplish the task with more effectivity than excepted.
> My company won an interview about "the success case of the implemented software and its integration with our software". They denied me the chance to fly and go to the meet. Instead they will send another guy...
> I asked for a "salary adjust" cos I'm finishing my engineering degree and my good work. They declined.
> Next day I'd present my volunteer job resignation within 15 days (because laws demands that). I have a better job option with +20% my actual salary and a lot of benefits. And they needs me ASAP.
> Everybody look at me shocked and if I am a traitor.

What the f!$-k they did expect?
My unconditional loyalty?
🤣🤣🤣

!dev && feelsbadman

I don't know what to think.
All I know is that I just went reaaaaal close to a disaster.

Friday morning, my "scariest" manager (as in, if you have to meet with him, it's usally for something serious) told me that he needed to see me on monday (so today) with the lead dev, the project manager and the dude who recruited me.

The meeting was like an arena of 4 vs 1, where they all 4 had problem with the work I do, as in I make a lot of small but stupid mistakes that wastes everyone's time. As an excuse, I suffer from sleep apnea so I wake up as tired I am when I go to sleep, and I snore loud as fuck. I've heard some records, it's not even human. (I'm 1m85-ish for 125 kg, it's BIG but with my morphology it's not like I'm a ball of fat)

Anyway. And since it's not the first time they're reproaching me this kind of stuff, they were all... really angry. Because I'm a nice guy, competent and all but not productive enough and easily distracted.

So, when the manager asked me to meet me, it was to fire me. However, during the lunch break, the lead dev found a solution: I get out of the current project I was in until this morning, and I write all the functional tests for all the projects, because they all lack quality and we sometimes deliver regresses.

They proposed me this in a way I could refuse, and I'd get fired because they had no other options. Obviously, I said yes, I'm not stupid enough to decline a possibilty to avoid a monstruous shitstorm that would have cut me my studies, the money for taxes, and a lot of fun to find a job as fast as possible.

But what surprised me the most is that they were genuinely glad I accepted, like, even though I made my shit ton of mistakes, they weren't pleased at all to get rid of me.

And in a way, I'm the one who won in this story, since I don't have to work with Drupal anymore, excepted to parse the website to write my tests, but my nightmare fuel is finally gone *.*

I don't know where to finish with this rant, but I needed to vent this whole thing, to write it somewhere so I can move forward.

I wish y'all a nice week.

Do you guys have "principles", like a moral law you won't ever break ? Such as never working for a start-up, a specific CMS, etc?

I'm deeply anti-military for personal / historical reasons (plus you'll get hard time to find a dude that is less patriot than me), and yesterday my company announced that they won the call for tender that have been made by the french defense ministry, this is the biggest contract my company got, and obviously they take it seriously.

So it means that in about two weeks, we'll start a new project and work with the army to understand their needs and stuff. And I can't leave because I haven't finished my studies yet...

I feel like I'm betraying myself...

You know what REALLY PISSES ME THE FUCK OFF? Two pupils in my school won a local IT award FOR CODING A FUCKING PHP VOTING SITE WHICH DESIGN WAS SO FUCKING UGLY I WANT TO VOMIT. THE SITE IS SO FUCKING SHIT THAT YOU CAN VOTE AS MANY TIMES AS YOU WANT AND THERE ARE NO IPS LOGGED TO PREVENT IT. WHAT THE FUCK. THE QUESTIONS ARE FUCKING HARDCODED AND THE RESULT NUMBERS ARE STORED IN A TXT FILE THAT IS ACCESSIBLE WITH THE RIGHT URL

Fuck ISP. Just moved to nz. Explain to this company im working at home on the internet. Need it fast.

Takes 8 days to get the 📦 in a country of 5 million people. Wtf.

Box does not contain all default connections for box to work in a default house hold.

Call them. Tells me i have to go get it myself because i didnt request it. Fuck you or did you just fuck me.

Pay 100 dollars (this is in new zealand even though it feels like afghanistan. Not trying to offenecse any on here btw) a month for unlimited internet and phoneline.

They forget to put on the phone line.

Pay their fucking stupid 4 dollar cable insurance because new zealand has houses built for fucking cave people with 0 insolation and prone to dampness.

First day connections dont work. Well is that not fucking beautiful. I actually payed 4 worthy dollars.

WRONG YOU MOTHER FUCKER.

They tell me i didnt take the insurance.i go mayhem tell them how useless they are. So they send some one 8am the next mornin while activating the insurance. Ho yeah they also told me they forgot to include landline in my account.

Now 2 days in everything works im happy. Wake up to “your account has been suspended because you went over the max 200$ of your credit. You owe us 250$ before you can re-activate your account....

Inside boiling. Rudness and caps just won`t help.... I need some blood.... Some ISP blood....

Heh, so I was working in tech doing the physical side of the department (going and moving computers or hardware fixes etc.)

Anyways since I got that job I noticed some of our recurring systems tickets are time consuming so I wrote some scripts to speed up the parts that I could.
(Like getting us all the useful information for hunting down missing machines or machines that haven't been able to be backed up in a while)

So yeah, made the scripts and some higher ups were like great you should submit them to our repo so they don't just disappear. Do it and get told by one of the like cto kinda guys that, "instead of doing a script to do what the original script should do, maybe go in and fix our original one."

So I told him, I don't get paid enough to fix your guys scripts, I don't know perl(which is what those ones are in) and honestly it's not my department for fixing those scripts, it's yours.

I had made a big post about what my scripts did and gave access to them and what they could have fixed in an hour they argued with me for months about just fixing their originals instead.

So now I've just actually gotten promoted out of that dept and into another where I will finally get paid to do more code, so I was closing my last tickets and the "trying to add my scripts to their repo" was one. The guy had denied my PReq Esso I closed the ticket thinking meh.

This guy re opens and again says just fix the scripts. Luckily I had done a personal repo for the scripts so others in my (now old) dept can keep using them. So I said I'm not in that department anymore, I made them available to the others and I still don't know perl. Not sure what your wanting me to do...

Got a laugh when he replied "oh yeah, just heard about the promotion... Congrats.. Where's the repo?"

I feel like I won finally

When the impostor syndrome hits me, I try to remember my achievements :
- I won a national coding contest when I was 18,
- I made and still maintain a complex app for 15 years, still actively used,
- I cannot count the number of languages I know; too many of them...

Not bragging here, btw. It's just important to actually enumerate your achievements.
If you get hit by the IS, just remember what you did 😉.

An ancient legend goes that there exists sacred knowledge that enables anyone possessing it not to turn one’s career into a constant uphill battle with the management.

I sought this knowledge, I travelled the world, to no avail. Once upon a time, I climbed the Mount Fuji and met the wizard in his pagoda on the mount. I won in a CSS-golf battle with him, and he revealed the sacred truth: one need to chose companies that do business instead of constant backroom deals and dick-measuring contests.

Like Prometheus, I give this knowledge to you. An ancient scroll says that for this I’ll be chained to the mountain of PHP legacy code, and HRs will peck my brain for eternity, but I found Arachne, the queen of HRs, and exchanged the keto-diet secret for freedom.

The whole Microsoft office suite is being rewritten in React.js

This. Is. Not. A. Joke.

This also includes Skype, Ms teams, all office programs on all platforms, AND, VS Code....

Guys, we have trully peaked... gg....

Maybe it's old and well known, but somebody asked, so here it goes:

A shepherd is quietly grazing his sheep on the fresh village pastures.

Suddenly a shiny new car stops by. A cool guy, very well dressed hops out and asks him: "Good man, If I guess exactly how many sheep you have, can I win one?"

The shepherd, puzzled, accepts.

The cool guy, opens his laptop, download a satellite picture of the area, run a NASA algorithm for image recognition and in few seconds answers "you have 1342 sheep"

"Wooow" says the shepherd "you won, take one"

The cool guy is about to live when the shepherd approaches him:

"Ehi, Young man, I bet all my flock against your car that I can guess what is your job"

The cool guy, (he likes to bet after all) accepts.

"You are a consultant" says the shepherd.
"WTF! how did you even..."

"Well, easy" says the shepherd "you came out of nowhere, well dressed and smart looking, you answered a question nobody asked you, you told me something I already knew, you want to be payed for that and in addition, you don't understand shit about my business."

"Now", adds quietly the shepherd "please, give me back my dog"

(for @LOLjustCoding)

If you ever feel like you won't achieve anything in your developer career just remember that Suicide Squad won an Oscar.

I know it's not a story and also not a joke or meme but then also I want to share it because this gives me goose bumps

This photo won award for best photo and led the photographer into depression.

The cheetahs chased the mother deer and her 2 fawns(baby deers), the mother could've easily outrun cheetahs but instead she offered herself to cheetahs so that her kids can manage to run safety.

In this picture she is looking at her babies running safely as she is about to get torn into pieces.

She is about to get torn to pieces but she is dosen't look a bit hesitated.
That's mother for you!!

When your customer says "I'm sure it takes little time to do it" and you know you just won another two weeks of work...

So I finished my first semester in NYU as a CD master. During the first semester I took a class called heuristic problem solving. Every week a competitive game will be introduced to us, and will be played in two weeks. And trust me, the games aren't easy. I teamed up with another guy who I had no idea was and named our team as we don't know. At the end of the semester we won seven out of nine games, and by won I meant that we beat the whole class in the match. And my teammate became a really good friend.

By telling this story, I want to make a point. I love problem solving, and not problems in a algorithm book where you apply an algorithm and do some trick to solve it, but real world problem where you hope for the best and anticipate, predict your opponent's move. However, American's school system doesn't teach that.

When I applied to graduate school, no school wanted me because I have an average GPA of 3.6, and no outstanding achievements. I can solve problems in my dream becaus I have an active mind, I can propose solution to a project one month before my teammates realized they essentially were doing what I told them the solution should be. But so what, I can't write those on my application.

One of the professor told me that my professor shared the story of my team during a faculty dinner, and they were very impressed by our achievement. So I guess I'm not dumb. But after all, companies and schools will look at your transcript and decide who you are.

I love myself for having random thoughts all the time that can lead to innovative problem solving. But I also hate myself for not able to study like the good kids are.

Was at school the other day and met a dude who was told by an acquaintance that I'm a "computer guy".

Dude comes up to me and jokes that the acquaintance was spreading rumors about me being a programmer. I was a bit confused and tell him that I do in fact program, and then he asks me what I've done, to which I explain what languages I've dealt with.

Next thing he asks me: "Have you made an OS?"

BREH

He tells me about how he went through Linux From Scratch. I have no idea how in-depth that book goes, if someone who has read it could enlighten me that'd be nice.

Acquaintance mentions that I won an app contest. (At this point, I'm internally telling acquaintance to shut his face.) I explain what I made(an Android app that helps sort Lego pieces) and he promptly tells me that I just used an API and barely wrote any code.

After (hopefully calmly) going back and forth with him, I just say "So I write bad code. What's it matter to you?" He stopped talking right there.

He apologized later. Yeah right, I'm sure you're sorry.

JavaScript is the ugly girl freshman year with glasses and acne. Typescript is the beautiful women she became senior year and won prom queen. Hate on JavaScript all you want because it was a language written in 2 weeks but the new releases with es6 and now typescript are a far cry from the js people were written back in the day. The times they are a changing -Bob Dylan.

ok ok I'll move it to inbox Google, you lazy ass company can't you make your won mail service to it by it self -.-
Must admit, those spam emails are getting funnier by the day

My job sends out emails with things like "You won a prize!" In the subject line with embarrassingly vague reasons to click the links in the email. If you do, the links take you to a site where they slap your wrists for clicking an unknown link and teach you about the dangers of phishing.

It's fake spam. Ironically enough, though, it's the ONLY spam I ever get. It's more annoying than real spam because it never gets blocked by the system like an actual phishing attack would...

It is driving me crazy having to delete these stupid messages every day and they're clogging up my otherwise clean inbox! I don't even know who to contact about this bullshit because they're so "haha we got you!" about it, there's no department claiming responsibility. They're creating their own spam trying to prevent spam. What the hell?

(tl;dr at the bottom)
one day, an old "friend" asked if i would like to be part of a project with their friends to create a site, we had plenty of meetings, my partner and i were excited with this project until we realized that those girls literally wanted a copy-paste from another site, and i mean, exactly the same but translated in google translate. We even asked other developers for their opinion and they said the same, that it was a copypastarino.
so my partner and i talked to them about how we didn't want to be part of a copied project. Those girls went angry and we drop off that.
Yesterday, after almost 7 months, I found you that those girls won an "startup contest" and that they will be traveling to sillicon valley soon to meet a founder and start the business.

ooooh boy...
what would happen if we send an email pointing out that copied-googleTranslated project?
is the industry really that dumb or lazy? i mean, how is that even possible that they haven't found it out?

tl;dr
some girls just google-translated a site, my partner and i didnt want to be involved and now, 7 months later, they are going to sillicon valley to meet a founder and make it real.

Checkout this random bullshit code I found:

this just happened a few seconds ago and I am just laughing at the pathetic site that is Facebook. xD
4 years ago:
So I was quite a noobie gamer/hacker(sort of) back then and i had a habit of having multiple gmail/fb accounts, just for gaming, like accounts through which i can log in all at once in the same poker room, so 4/5 players in the game are me, or just some multiple accounts for clash of clans for donations.
I had 7-8 accounts back then. one had a name that translated to "may the dead remain in peace "@yahoomail.com . it was linked to fb using same initials. after sometime only this and 2 of my main accs were all i cared about.even today when i feel like playing, i sometimes use those accs.

2 years ago.
My dad is a simple man and was quite naive to modern techs and used to hang around with physical button nokia phones.But we had a business change, my father was now in a partnership in a restaurant where his daily work included a lot of sitting job and and casual working. So he bought a smartphone for some time pass.
He now wanted to download apps and me to teach him.I tried a lot to get him his own acc, but he couldn't remember his login credentials.
so at the end i added one of my own fake ID's(maythedead...) so he could install from playstore, watch vids on youtube and whatever.

The Actual Adventure starts now
Today, 1 hour ago:
I had completely forgot about this incident, since my parents are now quite modern in terms of tech.
But today out of nowhere i recieved an email that someone has JUST CHAINGED MY FB PASSWORD FOR ONE OF MY FAKE ACCS!?!??
what the hell, i know it was just a useless acc and i never even check my fb from any acc these days, but if someone could login into that acc, its not very difficult to track my main accs, id's, etc so i immediately opened this fb security portal and that's where the stupidity starts:

1)To recover your account they FUCKIN ASKS FOR A PHYSICAL ID. yeah, no email, no security question you have to scan your driving license or passport to get back to your account.And where would I get a license for some person named "may the dead remain in peace"? i simply went back.
2) tried another hack that i thought that will work.Closed fb help page, opened fb again , tried to login with my old credentials, it says" old password has been changed,please enter new password", i click forget password and they send an otp. i thought yes i won, because the number and recover mail id was mine only so i received it.
when i added the otp, i was first sent to a password change page (woohoo, i really won! :)) but then it sends me again to the same fuckin physical id verification page.FFFFFFFFFuck

3)I was sad and terrified that i got hacked.But 10 mins later a mail comes ,"Your Facebook password was reset using the email address on Tuesday, April 10, 2018 at 8:24pm (UTC+05:30)."
I tried clicking the links attached, hoping that the password i changed(point<2>) has actually done something to account.NADA, the account still needs a physical license to open:/

4) lost, i just login to my main account and lookup for my lost fake account. the fun part:my account has the display pic of my father?!!?!
So apparently, my father wanted to try facebook, he used the fake account i gave him to create one, fb showed him that this id already has an fb account attached to it and he accidently changed my password.MY FATHER WAS THE HACKER THE WHOLE TIME xD.
but response from fb?" well sir, if you want your virtually shitty account back , you first will have to provide us with all details of your bank transactions or your voter id card, maybe trump will like it"

Just because YOU can't seem to get a grasp on the language doesn't mean the language inherently sucks and that literally the entire rest of the world is crazy for using it. It won because it's Good Enough(tm) and that's all it ever needed to be (and many of the things you see as flaws are actually big parts of what makes it exactly that).

Like, I'm not gonna go out of my way to defend a damn programming language 'cause that just feels stupid... but your constant bitching about it is tiring as hell, ESPECIALLY when the complaints you constantly state clearly indicate that you just don't have a solid grasp of it.

So, the answer isn't for everyone else to "wake up to how shitty it is", it's for YOU to either expend the calories to understand it, or simply shut the fuck up with your constant whining about it. I'm good either way, but pick one already!

Rant r = new Rant(Rant.TEAM_PROBLEM);

Three months ago, a senior, one year older than me, decided to join me in doing startups. He said he's good at finance stuff (his parents are fund managers), and he is interested in startups just like I am. He treated me very nicely, so I gladly accepted him.

I'm currently working on many projects, and some of them won me quite a few awards, most notably on the national competition. I also got invited into startup incubator programs, met some awesome people and offered free scholarships at universities in my country.

He frankly said he joined because he wanted to learn about startups and have those "privileges" too, and I'm cool with that.

Anyway, the problem is that I'm the one doing all the work. He's really nice, doesn't claim anything whatsoever, but the thing is he doesn't have any skills whatsoever except soft skills like communicating. So, I'm horribly tired from working alone.

My tasks mostly involves full-stack development, such as planning the specs, designing and developing frontend for mobile apps and progressive webapps, developing microservices for the backend, up to deploying and maintaining the servers. It's a lot of work for a single person to handle in such a short timeframe.

Not only that, but I'm also the one handling the business/marketing part, albeit I'm still learning. From doing paperworks, pitches, business models, up to creating advertising materials for the product.

I'm obviously not the smart ones like the people out there, but I keep focusing on improving my skills.

So, he said he could help me, and I let him try. What did you think he did?

He made pitch decks using default fucking PowerPoint themes, shooted a demo video with his phone cam in 320p potato resolution and expect me to "add some effects", gives me loads of requirements when all we needed was a simple feature, copying and pasting prior documents in my paperworks which doesn't make any fucking sense at all, and quite a lot more.

Also, he said I should stay in the developer zone only while he maintains the business, whilist he obviously can't do much in the business part either. Seriously...?

I'm okay with his lack of experience, considering he's nice and all, unlike the other business guys I've met in the previous rants. However, I keep questioning myself why he is here in the first place when I'm the one doing everything anyway.

What should I do? Maybe just keep him and recruit more experienced people to join us, as he's not that much of a burden? What do you devRanters think?

Thanks for reading, fellow devRanters! 😀

I am thinking about leaving this platform. To be honest I don't get anything out of it anymore and the only thing keeping me here is the less-rant'ish content like @devNews or the stories.

I am actually a bit disappointed, the quality of devrant really did degrade alot in the last few months. Don't get me wrong but I feel like people have become "normies" over here. I don't mean that in an edgy or degrading way but let me explain. When I started here I had a very high opinion of the people here. Everyone seemed like a passionate / knowledgeable individual from whom you could hear interesting stories or learn. Maybe I just saw it like that because I was still a very inexperienced dev and was looking for a dev community. But nonetheless I think devRant transformed into a place of mediocrity.

Dont get me wrong I wouldn't think of myself as aspiring or generally "better" than anyone else on here, but the content over here got a little stale.

I am not the kind of person who would "rant", in the first place, so I may have a different mindset and to be honest "ranting" has always been a thing I looked down upon. It just does not support my style of thinking. I totally get that people sometimes need to "vent" their feelings but there is nothing productive to gain from ranting, like you ain't not improving your situation by doing it. The more passionate raters over here call people things, I would never even dream about saying to people. Don't worry I'm no sjw or something like it, I don't care if you do it. If it helps you sure, why not. But there is a point where you corner yourself so much that you stop respecting your colleagues because they wrote that shitty code, instead of helping.

Some tech sure is bad, but it is not getting any better by insulting it.

Another thing I use to notice are people, thinking so highly of them selfes / being so close-minded - that they only accept their own views as true. These are the people that I always try to avoid, but that is getting harder and harder as time goes on.

Collectivism and group thinking are very strong on devRant making it really hard to defend a unpopular opinion - I get that devRant is not the kind of platform that would support actual proper arguments/discussions - but I still feels like some people shove opinions down another people's throat with no reasoning behind it.

Arguments on devRant are always won by the person coming up with the most witty response. Having another opinion is always seen as offensive. That's not exactly the definiton of open-mindedness.

Another rather annoying thing are what I call the "non dev, dev's". See: As a developer you should aspire to understand what your doing - I won't get into this too much but one sentencd: How are things like serious "Semicolon memes" a thing? I am as much into memes as the next guy, but debugging 3 hours, just to find out its a typo. I mean come on...

I sure get that devRant is not the kind of place where you would find the people I am looking for, and that's why I am leaving.

My whole post may seem super negative of the platform - and it is to an extend - but I sure also had a good time back in the day - devRant as in "the platform" surely is not at fault, but a forum is only as good as the people on it. Maybe I changed, maybe devRant did. All I know is that it is not for me anymore.

I won't delete my account and I probably will not leave completely, but all I will do is the "once a week" checkout.

So, some years ago, my old firm was bought by a much larger company.

A couple years later, my CTO resigned, as he needed a week deserved break. I acted as interim CTO for half a year, with the full support of the CEO.

But then higher management removed my CEO for a politician 🤡. His first move is to ask my ex-CEO who to consider for CTO.

He adamantly vouches for me, but in the end, I'm not "political" enough. (Sure I admit I'm not the most organized person, and do not sweeten arguments to suits, but I had won the full trust of my previous superiors *and* fellow devs, and had people to cover for organizational stuff, and have successfully navigated situations with the world's biggest tech orgs).

So I'm again a dev, and they hire this new CTO at twice my salary. But as you can probably guess, who ends up still doing all the CTO work on top of his dev work? Yeah.

That drove me to quit, not because of the demotion, but for a denied minor raise when I was doing the work of someone with twice my paycheck.

As could be expected, once I quit, the CTO barely lasted 6 months.

Fun part is, I've been freelancing (successfully) from them on, and I've been contacted by this CTO, trying to hire me to do some work in his new company...

I'm torn whether to tell him to bite me, charge him a shitton of money or any other funny ideas.

Mind you, I don't dislike the guy, and he's not particularly annoying to work with, so I guess this doubles as a rant against corporate clowns, and a bit of advice seeking.

That happiness after you are so close to open the closest window and throw the pc, but you manage to fix the problem.

FUCK YOU GRUB I WON!!!!!!!!!!!! SUCK IT!

I explained last week in great detail to a new team member of a dev team (yeah hire or fire part 2) why it is an extremely bad idea to do proactive error handling somewhere down in the stack...

Example
Controller -> Business/Application Logic -> Infrastructure Layer

(shortened)

Now in the infrastructure layer we have a cache that caches an http rest call to another service.

One should not implement retry or some other proactive error handling down in the cache / infra stack, instead propagate the error to the upper layer(s) like application / business logic.
Let them decide what's the course of action, so ...
1) no error is swallowed
2) no unintended side effects like latency spikes / hickups due to retries or similar techniques happens
3) one can actually understand what the services do - behaviour should either be configured explicitly or passed down as a programmed choice from the upper layer... Not randomly implemented in some services.

The explanation was long and I thought ... Well let's call the recruit like the Gremlin he is... Gizmo got the message.

Today Gizmo presented a new solution.

The solution was to log and swallow all exceptions and just return null everywhere.

Yay... Gizmo. You won the Oscar for bad choices TM.

Thx for not asking whether that brain fart made any sense and wasting 5 days with implementing the worst of it all.

Company has a severe lack of fresh blood.

"let's recruit everyone who has an IQ over room temperature and barely passes the mark".

Me protesting bloody murder cause I know that the idea is not just profoundly dumb, but frustration from high staff turnover takes a toll on *everyone*.

"nah can't be that bad".

Then the discussion started who could do monitoring and mentoring, so we can sort out the bad apples *quickly*.

Me reminding again that this is exactly what leads to a high staff turnover, as this is nothing else than "hire, hire - quickly fire".

Guess who won the award of being the mentor / monitor ....

*drum roll*

Come on, I know you would NEVER expect this.

Let me surprise you: M E.

Yeah. They chose the person that was absolutely against this idea...

Because that person is "most qualified for the task at hand and has the necessary qualifications".

Today was the first 4 h workshop with a new recruit.

The Lord has had zero mercy on me.

I started to mute myself after 30 minutes in regular intervals to just scream and curse the world.

How profound dumb a person can be amazes me.

Person has had a "very expensive 6 month boot camp course".

I was close asking if the boot camp course was in watching porn and wanking their brain cells out....

Git... Yeah he knew what he was doing...

Except that he messed up every commit by either not sticking to the companies format or - what I found funny the first 2 times, then not so much anymore - just writing a git commit message like a 15 year old teenage girl would write to their diary.

Programming. Oh yeah. He should be a programmer.

He had much Bootcamp.

Bootcamp expensive. Bootcamp good.

If someone is unable to iterate over an iterator... And instead starts creating an integer based array of a map's key name to then fetch the map value in an for loop based on the created key array.

Yeah. Bootcamp much good.

Creating DTOs...

It took an hour to write a DTO with him... Cause constructors are hard and it's even harder when you have to explain primitive datatypes in Java, null safety, constructors, NPEs, final, ...

Like really no experience at all.

The next week's will be amazing.

Either I get a valium drop or I'm gonna blow my head off, cause mentoring will drain the last bit of hope I had left in me.

Note that I do not blame the recruit (yeah he's dumb. But he has ZERO work experience, so it's not unexpected), I'm just too fed up with getting the poo crown despite being against the whole process.

I think the recruit could make it..........

But that I got the shittiest job ever is really haunting me.

I dunno how I survive the next weeks.

And this is just the first recruit... There will be more.

Handshakes are not contests. You successfully grinding my knuckles to dust doesn't mean you won or that I'm a dead fish. It means I didn't want to injure you the first time we meet.

*leaning back in the story chair*

One night, a long time ago, I was playing computer games with my closest friends through the night. We would meet for a whole weekend extended through some holiday to excessively celebrate our collaborative and competitive gaming skills. In other words we would definitely kick our asses all the time. Laughing at each other for every kill we made and game we won. Crying for every kill received and game lost. A great fun that was.

Sleep level through the first 48 hours was around 0 hours. After some fresh air I thought it would be a very good idea to sit down, taking the time to eventually change all my accounts passwords including the password safe master password. Of course I also had to generate a new key file. You can't be too serious about security these days.

One additional 48 hours, including 13 hours of sleep, some good rounds Call of Duty, Counter Strike and Crashday plus an insane Star Wars Marathon in between later...

I woke up. A tiereing but fun weekend was over again. After I got the usual cereals for breakfast I set down to work on one of my theory magic decks. I opened the browser, navigated to the Web page and opened my password manager. I type in the password as usual.

Error: incorrect password.

I retry about 20 times. Each time getting more and more terrified.

WTF? Did I change my password or what?...

Fuck.

Ffuck fuck fuck FUCKK.

I've reset and now forgotten my master password. I completely lost memory of that moment. I'm screwed.

---

Disclaimer: sure it's in my brain, but it's still data right?

I remembered the situation but until today I can't remember which password I set.

Fun fact. I also could not remember the contents of episode 6 by the time we started the movie although I'd seen the movie about 10 - 15 times up to that point. Just brain afk.

Devops (By Azure) is so stupid.... (I won';t even start of YAML, it will be a 10pages rant).

me : Ok I have 5 projects, each has it's own Azure conexxion for deploy.
Me : Can I do just ONE shared connexion ?
Devops : Yes. You need to click 150 buttons and it's done !
Me : Ok. /* doing actions */
Me : Ok ready !
Me : Project 1 do your release pipeline !
project 1 : Sure, just wait 5 minutes.
5 minutes later
Project 1 : All good.
Me :Ok now sharing test ! Project 2 : do your pipeline !Project 2 : Sure ! It's strated !
Me : Ok I'll go take a beer
... 1 hour later..
Me : project 2 ? PROJECT 2??!!!
Me : fine... going into logs.
Message : You must accept the shared conexion from Project 1 before pipeline can run
Me : WTF ? I literally just SHARED it to project 2,3,4,5 !!!

Why that idiot check ?!

One thing is sure, I hate devops more than I hate JavaScript.

Don't you love it when your computer mouse tells you with a creepy dark voice "Congratulations, you've won a trophy" really fucking loud?

!rant

I would like to present you the story that I tell everyone who is afraid of expectations, stressed to impress interviewers etc. Story about how I got my first job.

A little of backstory:
I always was good with computers, not like expert, but good. Of course parents were against giving me admin rights, so I just played games or such. When time came to choose my path throgh life, I've chosen to go medicine-related way, and chosen high school with such profile. I did my exams terribly, cause I never cared about marks, so I applied to uni for Information and Communication Technology course. I've learned basics of coding there, much stuff I don't really need right now, but in the end it was the best choice I've made.

With that way too long prologue...

I had to do internship for my uni and decided to try and find some year earlier. There was a lecture about multiplatform coding held by company my uni had partnership with. I've filled a questionare and few weeks later they invited me for assessment - event where they will choose who is good enough.
Of course I didn't believe in my chances to win an internship (1st place got full time job). There were 3 stages:
- solo coding (C/C++ own implementation of list)
- group designing (UML and presentation according to specification)
- interview (talking about code from stage 1, some questions, theory)

I failed 1st stage miserably... so I decided to don't give a shit and bravely presented our group project. A guy asked why we did not included a thing on UML, so I told him that it was not in specification - he was suprised but took it as big +. We "won" that part. When it came to interview... I was myself, cool headed, admited when I don't know things.

I thought that was it.

Few weeks later I received email - they invited me for internship.

They put me into Python project, language that noone in our trainee team knew. Told us 2/4 will be hired. At first I was not interested, wanted to finish my degree. But they convinced me. Now I'm here +2 years.

I am aware there are not many companies like that. Here, the people matters - you don't have to know everything, as long as you are getting along with others.

My tip for you though is: BE YOURSELF, NO MATTER WHAT THEY SAY 🎶

And I wish us more companies like that.😉

Recently I won a Qwiklabs speedrun with global rank 1.They gave me a $25 starbucks Egift card ! Nice right!?
NO.
Supposedly this can be only be redeemed in US.
Its always super irritating when you win some swag or voucher but always end up not able to get it due to residence in a Different Country.
P.S They are trying to resolve it. Its been forever since.

Teammate has been slacking since a week: not joining standups, not joining calls, stuff like that. Upon asking , he does give info which is needed from him, over slack. He is a pretty good engineer and has won a company award this year.

Today manager scolded him pretty harshly. No direct slangs, but very rude tone and sentences like ‘do you need special invitation to your house to join this meeting?’ , ‘If you don’t want to work, just fuck all this shit’ and things along this line for 10 mins. Basically manager lost his shit completely.

I didn’t like the way he was treated. What options does my teammate have ? We’re based out of Hyderabad, India.

It wont go down, he said, it can't crash he said,
several DDoS later
You won your coffee and honor,
Touchè

Windows has just asked me the password to my Microsoft account to fucking access my computer.
... Do you mean that if I didn't have Internet access I couldn't use my won fucking computer? WTFF!??

Worst interview experience was a marathon. 3 interviews in a day.

I asked the recruiter to assemble them like that after I had to remind her I was still employed and could go about having interviews all week. I took a day off and departed.

The first interview was with a company that had moved fro their previous address. Since the recruiter obviously checked that, I got to the right place late and with little mojo left.

The second interview was with a company that explained to me how they actually did not need my expertise.

The third was with a company that had just won Apple's Best of the Year award:

Me: So how is it having received the award?

Him: Nah, it's just another one. You get used to it.

[A little more interview]
[We wrap things up and stand up to leave]

Him: Well, thanks for stopping by and talking to us. And sorry we had to do this at our ping pong table. You know, the CEO and I are always playing. He says he's the best, but I always beat him.

All of that sprinkled with a very energising bellyache I had to take to the toilet every now and then (no idea what I ate the night before).

After the marathon, I told the recruiter the third company seemed the most promising, although I couldn't see myself working with someone that pretentious, to which she replied "I thought you had very similar personalities and you have a lot in common".

WHAT?! I've never said anything like that my whole life and now you're telling me you know me from the three fucking phone calls we had?

From that moment on, I've moved away from recruiters and towards networking.

As a 0.1x programmer, I realised an important lesson today :
You can win school coding contests by plagiarizing code. No one cares, and no one will know.

Because the dude who won the contest was literally copying from Google and stackoverflow and they didn't caught him 😭

Damn. I am so blessed to have friends that i have. 90% of them don't even care if you live or die (60% of them would be the first to throw me in fire if that's benefitting to them) remaining 10% would be someone that slightly care, but will move on pretty quickly.

But the best thing about 1 of them is that he is bluntly honest , and willing to share his opinion.
Today we were just talking about stuff when i see this placement offer in my mail.

I have been recently feeling bad about my grades, my choice of persuing android , my choice of leaving out many other techs (like web dev or data sciences , whose jobs are coming in so much number in our college) and data structures, and my fear of not getting a good career start.

This guy is also like me in some aspects. He is also not doing any extreme level competitive programming. He doesn't even know android , web dev, ai/ml or other buzz words. He is just good in college subjects. But the fascinating thing about him,is that he is so calm about all of this! I am losing my nuts everyday my month of graduation , aug2020 is coming . And he is so peaceful about this??

So i tried discussing this issue with him .Let me share a few of his points. Note that we both are lower middle class family children in an awful, no opportunity college.

He : "You know i feel myself to be better than most of our classmates. When i see around , i don't see even 10 of them taking studies seriously. Everyone is here because of the opportunity. I... Love computer science. I never keep myself free at home. I like to learn about how stuff works, these networking, the router, i really like to learn."

"That's why i dont fear. Whatever the worst happens , i have a believe that i will get some job. Maybe later, maybe later than all of you , but i will. Its not a problem."

me: "but you are not doing anything bro! I am not doing anything ! So what if our college mates suck , Everyone out there is pulling their hairs out learning data structures, Blockchain, ai ml , hell of shit. But we are not! Why aren't you scared bro? Remember the goldman sach test you gave ? You were never able to solve beyond one question. How did you feel man? And didn't you thought maybe if i gave a year to that , i will be good enough? Don't you too want a good package bro? Everyone's getting placed at good numbers."

Him : "Again, its your thoughts that i am not doing things. I am happy learning at my own pace. Its my belief that i should be learning about networking and how hardware works first , then only its okay to learn about programming and ai ml stuff. I am not going to feel scared and start learning multiple things that i don't even wanna learn now."

"My point is whatever i am doing now, if its related to computers , then someday its gonna help me.
And i am learning ds too , very less at a time. Ds algo are things for people with extreme knowledge. We could have cleared goldman sachs if we had started learning all this stuff from 1st year, spend 2-3 years in it and then maybe we could have solved 2 -3 questions. I regret that a little, but no one told us that we should be doing this."

"And if i tell you my honest thoughts now, you ar better off without it. You are the only guy among us with good knowledge of android , you have been doing that for last 2 years. Maybe you will get better opportunity with android then with ds/algo."

"You know when i felt happy? When we gave our first placement test at sopra. I was thinking of going there all dumb. But at 11 am in night i casually told my brother about this ,and he said that its a good company. So i started studying a little and next day i sat for placement. And i could not believe myself when they told me that am selected. I was shit scared that night, when my dad came and said " you don't even want that job. Be happy that you passed it on your own". And then i slept peacefully that night and gave the most awesome interview the next day."

"Thus now i am confident that wherever my level of skills are, it is enough to get into a job . Maybe not the goldman sachs ,but i will do well enough with a smaller job too."

"Bro you don't even know... All my school mates are getting packages of 8LPA, 15LPA, 35LPA. You see they are getting that because they already won a race. They are all in better colleges and companies which come there, they will take them no matter what (because those companies want to associate themselves with their college tags). But if worst comes to worst, i won't be worried even if i have to go take 4lpa as job offer in sopra"

Damn you Aman Gupta. Love you from all my heart. Thanks for calming me down and making me realise that its okay to be average

A client wanted his site to be finished earlier. The boss said ok if the client would pay more, and he did. However, a FE dev got sick (virus infection he said) and would have to rest for an extended period of time. The PM came in yesterday and said, "Alex (me), we are running out of time so you will have to take (FE dev's name)'s position because you said that you learned basic html/css when you were in high school." The PM left and close the door before I can turn my head away from the screen and say something (I was like WTF?). One of my BE colleague, who had been asked to do similar sh**t before when a FE guy got sick, pat on my shoulder and said, "Alex, you have won the lottery this time." Q.A.Q..I have just finished a navbar with 4 tabs using Uikit, it took me 90 min already.

Well at least he added the time....

My Drafts section is looking pretty nice now huh? :)

@dfox is the # of hours between posts now dynamic as well?

And perhaps its time to think about getting outside funding and help. Seems growth is now exponential? and I'm kind of feeling this is like the Facebook/Twitter for Developers.... but prolly not sustainable with just 2 devs who are also footing the bill.

In startup speak I guess validation is over and you have won!

out of curiosity, what phone do you have? 📱

I myself have a One plus one, first generation (w/ cyanogen logo on the back), won via a Python script that I wrote 😎 I also use the TugaPower ROM 🇵🇹

Congratulations! You WON "The Game"!

I once wanted to make easy money by becoming a professional poker player. I did this by programming a poker simulator and calculate chances with certain cards and stuff. To assure you have 6.**% winning (mathematical chance calculated) of a hand takes around 3k simulations to cancel out the luck. So don't trust to much on your math.

That went well, but that wasn't all that there was to learn, you could even consider a small start. Long story short, I became quite a good player and won a lot with Appeak Poker (Great app! No adverts!). Now, I opened a while ago an account at the Holland Casino to make some money. But they were playing on such low wages that it was just not interesting and I quitted. Today I realized I had still an account with money on it and thought "let's get over wit it" so i did aggressive betting on red (1:st 40% all in, lost, 2nd 100% all in won) in a roulette game. In the end I had a few euro profit so the gambling adventure never costed me money.

Another reason the poker carreer ended is because I realized it's not a quick way to make money at all and the gambling factor was too high. I expected poker a bit to be more strategy.

I even consider the best poker spelers maybe to just be lucky bastards in some cases. Poker stars is fun to see on youtube tough, they're bullshitting a lot.

I consider gambling for losers. Poker, you can become really good in it, but still some luck is required. Not bad luck at least. You can lose with a multiple of quite good hands.

Fact: one of the best poker players is actually a software developer

WTF?

TL;DR Integration between software failed so hard I lost 20% of my progress in one hit. Yay! /s

I, being a Fool, signed up to do NaNoWriMo this year (50k words in 30 days of November). I've won it before, and failed it before, and this year was especially stupid as I've got a bigger pile on my plate than usual, what with getting as quickly up to speed on c# and React as I can in prep for starting the new job in December.

I started on a high - 4k on day one, woohoo! To my delight, my writing software Scrivener now had an integration feature to let you update your total word count straight to your account instead of manually entering it. I added my credentials, hit the button, refreshed the page, all updated. So far so good.

Then, on day two, I wrote 1700-ish words. Still good, well ahead of target, took me over 5k. Updated through Scrivener, checked it updated the site, still good.

Then, yesterday, I logged in and added a tiny tiny number of words (brain went blah), and was horrified to discover it had taken 1900 words off my count!

Cue panic as I frantically searched for the missing words, trying to find any evidence of where they'd gone. Gave up after half an hour of futility, bashed out enough to squeak back over 5k, confirmed it had updated.

I'm not unfamiliar with the general stupidity most organisations have on integration - they don't have it, or it's an afterthought, or it's just plain terrible - but this was a ridiculously simple thing to do, I'd have thought? Passing one fucking number and some date/time tracking?

This is what I get for trying to do too many things at once, I guess!

I really like coding for scientific purposes. It unites my big passions (natural sciences/engineering/coding). And I like the feeling of empowering someone to do research. BUT BESIDES DEALING WITH DUMB FEATURE REQUESTS, THERE IS NO WORSE PAIN THAN HEARING PHD CANDIDATES FUCKING SAY RETARDED STUFF. HOW DID YOU EVEN WON THE SCHOLARSHIP FOR THE PHD YOU DENSE SON OF A BITCH (NICE JOB ACADEMIC ENVIRONMENT BTW). YOU LACK KNOWLEDGE OF HIGH SCHOOL LEVEL EVEN ON YOUR OWN SUBJECT. THE BEST RESEARCH YOU CAN PROVIDE TO THIS WORLD IS THE FLUID DYNAMICS OF AIR WHILE YOU JUMP OFF A SKYSCRAPER MOTHERFUCKER.

Did I ever tell you guys about that time I got a whole monitor for 1 Zar?

Probably but I shall again.

"twas the same auction at work where I got the R100 laptop. There was an LG Flatron W2243S listed with no reserve price. It had description "Faint line down middle of screen"

Figured what the hell, bid R1, mostly to see kif anyone else would. I won it. Literally just swapped out the vga cable and did a factory reset. All happy now. Only downside is that it's vga only but hey, what else are you gonna do with R1?

TFW you realize you only have 2 days left until your school-leaving exams.... I'm so fucking nervous right now... Aaand apparently our city has won a soccer match, I can pretty much hear everything that's happening at the stadium... there also seems to be some big rap concert somewhere in the city... I can't open the window otherwise I'll have to listen to all that noise.

Last week-end I went to a hackathon organized by Microsoft Innovation Center, that was great ! I didn't win anything unfortunately but the guy from there said to my team "we want your project" before we leave. So we didn't won anything but you want our project ? Wtf guy ?

So I saw something funny today (in C++ forum):
C++ is Rust--

The topic was not Rust in any way. So I lost the "Can I go one day without hearing about Rust?" game today (You won The Game btw).

What I find funny about this is the obsession of Rust devs have with C++. I get it, C++ is the competition in a way. But isn't it a low bar to define your language as "better than C++"?

If I had never seen C++ (and had used other languages) and saw Rust syntax I would not be impressed. If it was the first thing I learned I wouldn't know any different I suppose. I wonder if I had seen C++ later I would think differently about C++. It is not pretty, but I am used to it I think.

This gets complicated as the C++ committee is influenced by trends in CS of how to better do things. So C++ is a moving target.

I don't really have a point other than the amusing observation. I find it equally amusing when people get bent out of shape over Python syntax.

Yeah, sex is great, but have you ever got nerd-sniped but actually won?

Story of my first successful project

Being part of a great team, I've shared in a lot of successes, one I am particularly proud of is my first attempt to use agile methodologies in a deeply waterfall-managment culture.

Time was June/July-ish and we applied for a national quality award where one key element in the application stated how well we handled customer complaint resolution.
While somewhat true (our customer service is the top-shelf good stuff), we did not have a systematic process in resolving customer complaints. Long story short,
the VP lied on her section of the application. Then came the 'emergency', borderline panic meeting (several VPs, managers, etc) to develop a process to better manage
complaints before the in-house inspection in December.
As most top priority projects go, the dev manager allocated 3 developers, 2 DBAs, and any/all network admins we would need (plus all the bureaucratic management that wanted their thumb in the pie).
Fast forward to August, after many, many planning meetings, lost interest, new shiny bouncing balls, I was the only one left on the project. The VP runs into the dev manager in the hallway and asks "Is my program done yet? If its not ready before December with report-able data, we will not win the award."
The <bleep> hit the fan...dev manager comes by...
Frank: "How the application coming along? Almost done?"
Me:"No, haven't really started coding. You moved Jake and Tom over to James's team, Tina quit, and you've had me sidetracked helping other teams because the DBAs are too busy."
Frank: "So, it's excuses. You really think the national quality award auditors care about your excuses? The specification design document has been done for months. This is unacceptable."
Me: "The VP finished up her section yesterday and according to the process, we can't start coding until the document is signed off."
Frank: "Holy f<bleep>ing sh<bleep>t! No one told you *you* couldn't start. You know how to create tables and write code."
Me: "There is no specification to write to. The design document is all about how they plan on reporting the data, not how call agents will be using the application to serve customers."
Frank: "The f<bleep> it isn't. F<bleep>ing monkeys could code against that specification, I helped write it! NO MORE F<bleep>ING EXCUSES! This is your top priority from now on!"

I was 'cleared' to work directly with the call center manager and the VP to develop a fully integrated customer complaint management system before December (by-passing any of the waterfall processes that would get in the way).

I had heard about this 'agile' stuff, attended a few conference tracks on the subject, read the manifesto, and thought "I could do this.".

Over the next month, I had my own 'sprints' and 'scrums' with the manager (at the time, 'agile' was a dirty word so I had to be careful of my words and what info I shared) and by the 2nd iteration had a working prototype.
Feature here, feature there (documenting the 'whys' and 'whats' along the way), and by October, had a full deployed application.

Not thinking I would get a parade or anything, the dev manager came back from a meeting where the VP was showing off the new app to the other VPs (and how she didn't really 'lie' on the application)

Frank: "Everyone is pleased how well the project turned out, except one thing. Erin said you bothered him too much with too many questions."
Me: "Bothered? Did he really say that?"
Frank: "No, not directly, but he said you would stop by his office every day to show him your progress and if he needed you to change anything. You shouldn't have done that."
Me: "Erin really seemed to like the continuous feedback. What we have now is very different than what we started with."
Frank: "Yes, probably because you kept bothering him and not following the specification document. That is why we spend so much time up front in design is so we don't waste management's time, which is exactly what you did."
Me: "We beat the deadline by two months, so I don't think I wasted anyone's time. In fact, this is kind of a big win for us, right?"
Frank: "Not really. There was breakdown in the process. We need better focus on the process, not in these one-hit-wonders."

End the end, the company won the award (mgmt team got to meet the vice president, yes the #2 guy). I know I played a very small, somewhat insignificant role in that victory, I was extremely proud to be part of the team.

LinkedIn, if you have the nerves to send me an email, how about you also have some guts and tell me what that "notification" is about. Not that I care in the first place, but generally whenever I see the notification after logging in, I would think the same every time: That was a waste of time to read, even if it was in the email subject.

Like I care about some recruiter and his PHP shit when I've clearly stated as technology I want to avoid, have been deployed for 2 years and am using the tools I prefer.

I also don't care if I appeared in a search.
"Holy fuck, you appeared in that shitshow of a companies shithead recruiter. You better start celebrating like you won the fucking lottery and put your hips in a submissive position like a good boy"

"Thank you for using linkedIn, have you considered giving us money?" - automated bot of linkedIn stuff every now and then.

Is there some kind of fetish I'm missing that makes this an enjoyable or endurable experience?

So how long before someone like @Jumpshot44 or our won @dfox reaches a million +1s on their profile?

@dfox @trogus what is the datatype you guys used, in other words, how much can fit?

I hate developers that don’t apply logic to non programming concepts. Like when someone declares what they don’t want instead of what they want. For my sake just say what you want to see.

I’m thinking of an animal. Guess what it it is not. Congrats you probably won.

I’m thinking of an animal. Guess what it is. Sorry you probably got it wrong.

The most excited was probably when I had to write a Visual Basic program with a try/catch statement that took user input and would send a “You Done Messed Up!” Popup Error message in the catch. For some reason it was sending it anyways even after the input was correct. Took me an hour of debugging to find out it was my logic that was wrong. Finished the assignment 5 minutes before it was due. I celebrated as if I had just won the World Cup.

Client used IR35 as an excuse to not say thanks for helping them win an award. Been working on a contract for a firm for 3.5 years. I single handedly architected lead, recruited a front end dev and built the site (along with that other contractor).

The other day they won an award for the site. I didn't expect to be on the official thank you list (they named and thanked everyone involved) but they even excluded me and the other contractor (who granted was short term) from the internal email. Their reasons? IR35 and they're protecting me.... My rates are now being adjusted for the work I actually do!

Friendly reminder for hackathons, a great idea is better than a great app.

I saw amazing creations, from a virtual reality rowing machine to a camera that read a Connect 4 game into a AWS server live.

Yet, the hack that won the popular vote was an app that would tell your friend, through texts, where you were when you're heading over to pick them up.

A simple concept to implement, but a great idea.

Probably the first time I actually wrote a poc exploit for something we didn't write but were trying to win the maintenance contract for. I remember being In a pre-tender meeting showing it off to the potential client. Their face was amazing as my little script exported their database by exploiting some very shady search functionality.

PS. I had permission to do it, don't break systems you don't have permission to break, we also won that contact 😁

So there is this project from hell that ive been working on for 6 months...

We have won an award for it. First reaction when i heard it was nominated was: Do you think i’m happy with this? This project has taken blood sweat and tears goddammit.

But today the actual piece of glass came in. I can’t help but to feel proud.

Congrats! You won!

Snapchat is now showing ads mixed in with, and at the top of the list of, your contacts. That’s in addition to the un-removable “Team Snapchat” contact, and a ChatGPT-2 model “My AI” that is permanently fixed to the top of your contacts list and once told me that some completely random politician, who was not even in the race at any point, won the 2024 general election.

Snapchat, I realize your business model was never designed to be profitable but FUCK you for dying in such an annoying way.

Ordered something techy from the US and A, because it looked like what I wanted, smelled like what I wanted, and I thought it'll taste like what I wanted.

It arrived today and ooooohhh boy was I wrong.

It's kind of like if you won a car.

But you have no drivers license.
And it is so futuristic, it runs on unicorn piss.
Good luck getting that anywhere.

Another tech-brick on the wall.

Well i could write some tech publications to give them a chance to cover it in depth first, since everyone else will be gaged by NDAS until like q2 2019.

Naaaa, I probably wouldn't even respond to myself if I wrote.

"Nice try kiddo, did hell freeze over?"

A completely technical observation.

When I was out in a bar the other night, I watched someone play a poker machine, and it dawned on me, Poker machines haven't been adjusted for inflation.

20 years ago if you won 5 quid, it may have bought a round, but now you would be lucky to buy a pint with 5 quid.

I can still beat the machine myself, I thought it was interesting that there is less of a payoff for any coin you spend, so much so that it looks like a rip off.

I used to hate seeing guys throw their entire wage packet into machines on a Friday night.

Every ten years, a new social nexus, from Usenet to Reddit. Every day, a flame war. Every year, a great leader that wins flame wars, convinces people to follow them. The question is, what happens next? What do you preach to the gullible masses you won over?

Every single time it gets to politics, and then, to philosophy. Yet, there are no large strides in sight to world peace.

You've seen that meme where everything is just applied math. Well, math is applied philosophy, and philosophy is a product of misunderstanding the language.

In the end, the flame war you won never mattered. Archived threads, Wayback Machine, inactive Usenet mirrors. Acres upon acres of human thought, passionately expressed in computer text, roamed by no one but web crawlers. Give them three days, and they'll forget what you taught them.

WWI had shown us that we couldn't improve the masses with art and education. There is no vaccine against stupidity.

Life on Earth is hell. People are hell. Living among people is hell. If your life isn't hell, you're fortunate enough to be paying criminals that are stronger than other criminals around them, for protection.

Only the habit of systematically denying yourself pleasures your inner animal wants, plus a healthy dose of doubt, can make you human. Without restraint, a man is merely a greedy beast.

Hello coders!
I'm a student expected to graduate in about two months.
I (Allhamdolillah) already have an offer for a job in a company with good repo; they usually work in web (python technologies)
As of now, I'm doing an internship at a totally new company (separated from a famous company too but not very famous itself) as an ERP technical consultant (internee). They also have put forward a job offer.
I am hell confused to decide one.
I joined it coz I was curious about ERP. But their offer is a lot less then the other one.
I have decided two pathways.
1) Python web > Cloud > Data Sciences
2) ERP (either NAV or AX)
Any suggestions from the experienced? What should I prefer? A good company? A good package? Take risk?

Things that might help you guys to help me:

I like python a lot, it was my best selling gig on fiverr. But (apparently with no practical knowledge) I'm not much excited about web as of now.
ERP is a gooood field I know that.
It's fun sometimes irritating though.
Though sometimes I feel like I will get stuck in that field...
I have a strong technical background and have won many programming competitions(university level/national level/even stood runnner up, 2 times in ICPC regionals).

No, they didn't supported and infact are source of major problems in my dev and college career. Just granpa and dad, they wanted me to go for government jobs. Whenever they saw me with laptop they will say things like, you are ruining your future, this won't be asked in exams etc. They are good at manipulation too and sadly they won. Forced me to take civil engineering as it makes you eligible for most government jobs. I didn't knew what was going on my mind back then, and why i listened to such peices of shits. Real bad decision.

Why isn't Gooogle buying Atlassian to stock up G Suite with Wiki and Slack, then piss off Microsoft and win the Market over with better products?

Im reading everywhere now that MS Teams has the hugest Userbase and so much features to come bla bla bla

Fuck MS Teams, it's shit, looks like it and it's software so I can't smell it. Thank god for that, else it would smell like the afterback of a diaarhetic horse.

Every fucking Tecnician at my company is arguing, that MS Teams is better, because more users are active. WTF Poopface, they have more user, because it comes included with O365???

Our people are so stupid, I bet they won the IT Certification in a Lottery or flew to Turkey to buy it at a Bazaar.

And who the fuck are the Product Managers at Google, gonna hit them a couple of times with a broom to wake up. You fucktards are missing a huge market.

The half-abandoned town of Chrysler, Arkansas (population of 3), was swiftly decommissioned as I noticed a characteristic bright yellow birthmark on her hand. “You have to choose” — I said, “unavoidable and painful death, or decommissioning and relocation. You live in a charred shed anyway.”

Prince The Elephant caught steelpox in 1937. It was alone in its compartment, locked out, as the evil fungus was slowly and painfully turning its body into cast iron. Rusty but ornate, 19th century metal throne was there too. The Throne was talking to Prince. When it spoke, it could put its words into your head as commands, as if there were your own thoughts. It did it so authoritatively that it seemed like the language itself was different, but it wasn’t.

The throne was coercing Prince into fusing together, cast iron to cast iron. Every day we heard Prince’s screams as steelpox was mutilating its body, as well as awful banging as Prince was stomping on The Throne, trying to silence it. The Throne didn’t budge. It just kept talking. Over the course of four months, it won Prince over.
Prince’s final agony was unbearable. As its throat and eyes were ironified, [dream fragment lost].
French public was largely empathetic. Throne-Prince was definitely still alive, although differently.

The American public, however, nicknamed it The Iron Freak.

#Suphle Rant 3: Road to PHP8, Flow travails

Some primer: Flows is a feature that causes the framework to bypass handling the request now but read it from cache. This cache entry is meant to be populated without warming, based on the preceding request. It's sort of like prefetching but done on the back end

While building Suphle, I made some notes on some chapters about caveats and gotchas I may forget while documenting. One such note was that when users make the Flow request, the framework will attempt to determine who user is, using authentication mechanism defined on the first module (of the modular monolith)

Now, I got to this point during documentation and started wondering whether it's impossible for the originating request to have used a different authentication mechanism, which would result in an empty entry for returning user. I *think* it's possible cuz I've got something else called "route mirroring", where web based routes can be converted to API routes. They'll then return JSON, get served under defined API path, use JWT, all automatically. But I just couldn't connect the dots for the life of me, regarding how any of this could impact authentication on the Flow request

While trying to figure out how to write the test for this or whether it was even necessary (since I had no use case), it struck me that since Flow requests are not triggered by an actual user, any code attempting to read authenticated user will see nothing!

I HATE it when I realize there's ambiguity or an oversight, after the amount of attention and suffering devoted. This, along with a chain of personal troubles set off despondency for a couple of days. No appetite for food or talk. Grudgingly refactored in this update over some days. Wrote some tests, not all passed. More pain. May have to convert them to unit tests

For clarity, my expectation is, I built this. Nothing should be impossible for me

Surprisingly, I caught a somewhat lucky break –an ex colleague referred me to the 1st gig I'm getting in 1+ year. It's about writing a plugin for some obscure forum software. I'm not too excited cuz it's poorly documented and I'll have to do a lot of groping, they use arrays instead of objects etc. There's no guarantee I'll find how to implement all client's requirements

While brooding last night, surfing the PHP subreddit, stumbled on a post about using Rector to downgrade a codebase. I've always been interested in the reverse but didn't have any incentive to fret over it. Randomly googled and saw a post promising a codebase can be upgraded with 3 commands in 5 minutes to PHP 8. Piqued my interest around 12:something AM. Stayed up all night upgrading it, replacing PHPSTAN with Psalm, initializing the guy's project, merging Flow auth with master etc. I think it may have taken 5 minutes without the challenge of getting local dev environment to PHP 8

My mood is much lighter than it was, although the battle is not won yet –image tests are failing. For some weird reason, PHP8 can't read generated test images. Hope I can ride on that newfound lease on life to study the forum and get the features working

I have some other rant but this is already a lot to digest in one sitting. See you in rant #4

This is what being an arrogant asshole looks like.

I really like devrant. I met a community of like-minded people and i had a lot of fun here. But then I also notice a pattern of people who are seeking to insult and hurt.

But I'm not going to a website to get insulted.

@aviophile
@FastNop
@Lensflare

You won. I'm just a dumb frontender / webdev or whatever. i don''t have a degree in comp. sci. I should go flip burger

RIP my 8 years old account. RIP too my support to devrant.

I hope it worth being a scumbag to protect your technical purity, assholes.

Why do you people give a fuck about politics?
Please don't explain to me why and which politician you hate, picture you have won your struggle and tell me what makes you spend your time with this, what is your expectation for the effort that you put in it?

Rant and geniune question:

How can a group of 'devs' make 2 functional(enough unfortunately), many active users, phone apps, not just basic af, over a few years... but apparently not know how to make a working referral link of any kind???

Am i missing something like referral code link logic being extremely hard for typical devs to understand? Or some odd or trending reason for for forcing manual, explicit, referral code binding instead of a simple (imo) link that attributes the new user account to the referring user's? If you dont believe me u can check either/both of their actively running, decent/moderate size user base apps, claw eden (on play store) and/or claw party (possibly only via finding an apk... at least not on google play).

They have legit rewards, relatively very fair/honest policy... etc... i get 60+ items won/delivered a month (i have paranormal crane game skills #AutisticSuperpower) which i donate the vast majority of to charity (1 of 3 reasons the IRS reeeeally dislikes me).

Im just baffled by this apparent inability.

When you finally find that one working coupon code and feel like you just won the lottery.

WHYY , are you fucking fucking complaining, mother fuckdr yyuo fucking won

You completed our mission objective successfully

You fucking did it mother fhcker and what ur asking from me after all of thus shit weve been through for the past 7 months is beyond our primary mission objective ,fucker

Obviously as you can fuckin see from the 7 months of suffering we can not repeat the same objective twice, just like u cant be born or die twice, fucker

Shit happens once and thats goddamn fuckin it motherfucker move on to tje ffckin next mission objective that i command u to go towards

NO FAILED MISSIONS. I ONLY BROADCAST SUCCESS. BUT SHIT HAPPENS RARE.

So forget about her u motherfucker, you told me what you wanted to achieve, i planned out the whole scenario, i organized the mission objective for you and you have took the fuckin risk and and action and guess what u fuckin succeeded. My mission objective has never failed you. What you are trying for these fuckin past 7 months is not my mission objective and it is out of scope, unplanned fuckin shit and that is why u fell back into fuckin depression i told u to fuckin stay away but u aint to me listen fucker

Stop.

Breathe.

Worry no more about the shit that is irrelevant and out of your fuckin control.

U got friends at college. Hang out with them ull feel better. Whwnever u think of that fuckin whore goo mothrrfuckr and meet ur goddamn fckin irl friends. Text them. Shit man.....

Good luck

So as a personal project for work I decided to start data logging facility variables, it's something that we might need to pickup at some point in the future so decided to take the initiative since I'm the new guy.
I setup some basic current loop sensors are things like gas line pressures for bulk nitrogen and compressed air but decided to go with a more advanced system for logging the temperature and humidity in the labs. These sensors come with 'software' it's a web site you host internally. Cool so I just need to build a simple web server to run these PoE sensors. No big deal right, it's just an IIS service. Months after ordering Server 2019 though SSC I get 4 activation codes 2 MAK and 2 KMS. I won the lottery now i just have to download the server 2019 retail ISO and... Won't take the keys. Back to purchasing, "oh I can download that for you, what key is yours". Um... I dunno you sent me 4 Can I just get the link, "well you have to have a login". Ok what building are you in I'll drive over with a USB key (hoping there on the same campus), "the download keeps stopping, I'll contact the IT service in your building". a week later I get an install ISO and still no one knows that key is mine. Local IT service suggests it's probably a MAK key since I originally got a quote for a retail copy and we don't run a KMS server on the network I'm using for testing. We'll doesn't windows reject all 4 keys then proceed to register with a non-existent KMS server on the network I'm using for testing. Great so now this server that is supposed to connected to a private network for the sensors and use the second NIC for an internet connection has to be connected to the old network that I'm using for testing because that's where the KMS server seems to be. Ok no big deal the old network has internet except the powers that be want to migrate everything to the new more secure network but I still need to be connected to the KMS server because they sent me the wrong key. So I'm up to three network cards and some of my basic sensors are running on yet another network and I want to migrate the management software to this hardware to have all my data logging in one system. I had to label the Ethernet ports so I could hand over the hardware for certification and security scans.

So at this point I have my system running with a couple sensors setup with static IP's because I haven't had time to setup the DNS for the private network the sensors run on. Local IT goes to install McAfee and can't because it isn't compatible with anything after 1809 or later, I get a message back that " we only support up to 1709" I point out that it's server 2019, "Oh yeah, let me ask about that" a bunch of back and forth ensues and finally Local IT get's a version of McAfee that will install, runs security scan again i get a message back. " There are two high risk issues on your server", my blood pressure is getting high as well. The risks there looking at McAfee versions are out of date and windows Defender is disabled (because of McAfee).

There's a low risk issue as well, something relating to the DNS service I didn't fully setup. I tell local IT just disable it for now, then think we'll heck I'll remote in and do it. Nope can't remote into my server, oh they renamed it well that's lot going to stay that way but whatever oh here's the IP they assigned it, nope cant remote in no privileges. Ok so I run up three flights of stairs to local IT before they leave for the day log into my server yup RDP is enabled, odd but whatever let's delete the DNS role for now, nope you don't have admin privileges. Now I'm really getting displeased, I can;t have admin privileges on the network you want me to use to support the service on a system you can't support and I'm supposed to believe you can migrate the life safety systems you want us to move. I'm using my system to prove that the 2FA system works, at this rate I'm going to have 2FA access to a completely worthless broken system in a few years. good thing I rebuilt the whole server in a VM I'm planning to deploy before I get the official one back. I'm skipping a lot of the ridiculous back and forth conversations because the more I think about it the more irritated I get.

So today was going to be the Sunday when I finally connected my smart TV though my raspberry pi to access my network and have it connect to the internet.
My TV is 6 years old, so it doesn't have built in wireless, it does not recognize normal Wifi dongles so you have to buy a LG special one for ~120$ to get hat to work, so my previos solution: screw that, one chromecast + 1 osmc raspberry pi3 and I can do more than what the software build in the TV could do.

But my wife really wanted to be able to play netflix directly on the TV without using her phone so I thought:
If I connect my TV via LAN cable to my raspberry pi it should be able to forward traffic via the built in wireless on the raspberry and be able to have internet connection.
OK, its Sunday, my wife it out, I haven't done anything with iptables in the last 5+ years but I have google and should be able to figure it out eventually:) time to start this home improvement project!!!
OK, lets just check online if there is someone else who had similar idea as a place to start.
... quick google search:

Hmm, in your OSMC, go to teathering, "wifi to ethernet" and enable.
I try it and it works!
5 min and one short ethernet cable was all that were required.

It feels like I cheated and won the game without any effort, and what should I now do with the rest of the day?

Oh my gosh, no one really knows here what is programming. Even teachers, which claim to be professionals in the subject doesn't know shit except for the basic theory. Nothing in practice.

It was evidenced by the largest job skill competition of Finland (Taitaja) that's for my-aged students (18). And yeah it's not higher education studies, just second degree, but that's where you should get the necessary practical skills for your work life.

The category I participated was website development, which is the only software development category.

It was a public event that is focused on showcasing different jobs. Well, what do programmers do, a viewer may ask. Even the responsible teachers and juries couldn't really answer properly. They just showed the specs we were following to create the crappiest of websites the short period of development time.

So we consume coffee and produce HTML, is that accurate representation of the whole industry?

All the other winners of different categories get a lot of job offers from companies when they win. I won gold last year (bronze this year) and I didn't get a single offer. Who would be interested in human HTML generator who can only make static websites anyway?

Programming is about problem-solving, not about graphic design and writing content.

And just to give you an idea the scale of the competition: last year I made a total of ~2000€ for the victory. And it is super easy if you just know what you are doing. That being graphic design and the making of a static page with a pinch of functionality.

High school football games are the best. You stand in the student section cheering whenever you get a touchdown. And my school's team sucks so it's even better when we win. Like tonight. I'm writing this right after our team just won 15-14. MAKE SOME NOISE!!!

"being gifted is a curse. You are f*cling crippled, you believed you were gifted, but you have been crippled the whole time."

I never could agree more to these words (healthyGamerGg, a youtube therapist specialized in people with issues related to videogames)

If you read my last rant you may in fact know i have a lot of issues with the implications of our jobs and truth be told, it all boils down to my iq.
Or better: to the fact i have a decent skill for abstracting stuff (iq is so freaking generic)... It can be a blessing while solving issues, but it feels awful when you realize that no matter the amount of money, you will still need something else to be happy the first day of work.
Sometimes I really wonder if I am an a-hole, stupid or if i think these 2 things to deny the fact my reasoning is correct.

On a side note table top games are very easy to enjoy: as soon as I sit at the table my brain goes: "the game is gonna be very boring if you play normally, at the best you are gonna learn a new strat, at the worst you are winning and it'll be just an ego jerk off... What if you play stuff you feel like to play and enjoy the ride and the conversation without planning to win?"
Except cards against humanity and yogi. Those two must be won!
(Yogi is a game where you play cards which give you restrictions e.g: "keep an index on the tip of the nose for the rest of the game" or "place this card on your head for the rest of the game" you lose as soon as you fail any of the cards you played or if you declare you can't draw)