At my study's final exams, I coded a system with login and everything included.

Showed it at the final delivery:
Fake client: awesome! So how do I logout?
Me: 😐
Me: 😶
Me: 😁
Me: 😓
Me: 😭

Yeah, you couldn't logout.

Who else has the ctrl+s reflex... I do it on everything 😐

Started working in a company as an intern, they want me to do everything whether I know how to or not.

The CEO asks God:
"God, how much time do you need to create the earth?"
God: "uh, 10 billion years I think"
CEO: " You have only 7 days. Well 6, the last one is to fix everything gone wrong after deploying"

And here we are

If you're going to ask for my help

... and then do the opposite of everything i say

... and then complain when things don't work

... and continue to ignore everything i say

HOW ABOUT YOU JUST FUCK OFF

How do mobile sites know when I'm about to tap a link, and then load something and shift everything so that I tap the wrong link?

I thought somebody was hacking my laptop and recording everything I do until I discover this key which is supposed to record my gameplay and I was pressing it accidentally. Feel dumb now.

*Me using dark theme on everything*

Me: Hey, look at this, I finished that thing that you wanted me to do.

*Project partner looks at my screen*

Partner: Ugh, why do you use that dark theme? It really strains my eyes.

Me: :-|
That is one of the reasons I use dark themes

GF: Why are working so late?
Me: Because no matter what I do, everything is working correctly.
GF: What....

The only career when you have to work late because everything is working like it should (cannot reproduce an issue).

Manager: Hurry up and login, I don’t have all day

Dev: One sec I have to lookup my password for the system

Manager: How can you not remember your password? Everything requires it these days

Dev: I use a different password for each service.

Manager: Wow you really like to overcomplicate things. Just use the same one for everything like I do, it’s way more efficient!

Dev: …

Ah yes, progress...
Why do SJWs have to infiltrate everything and project their own racist views of the world onto non-problematic terms?
Slavery has existed for as long as humanity and abolishing the terms will definitely not solve slavery and opression.
I am not against Git changing the default name but I am against them doing it in the name of "inclusivity". The technical world exists by merit and not inclusivity. Why make everything about color, race or slavery level?

User: oh! An error message.

Message : Problem XY has occurred. Do YX to fix the problem.

User: Ok I try everything except what it says. ...
Ok that didn't work. I ask the IT

IT: Have you tried what it says?

User: no I didn't know ...

IT:ok do it.

User: 0.o It worked! why do we pay you if it is so easy?

Every goddamn time 🤦🏻‍♂️

Client: I have lost everything on the cloud holy crap!

Me: Are you signed into your google drive, and within the folder?

Client: No, how do i do that again? I obviously cant be bothered reading your well formated and instructional guide and would rather contact you at 6pm on a saturday night

How do I usually make a typo?
10%: I punch a wrong key on the keyboard.
90%: I do everything right and get auto "corrected".

Telling people I don't need GIT and prefer to do things via FTP for years. That is till today when I accidentally deleted everything.

sudo apt-get install git

I'm helping a friend with programming in c#
He's a beginner and wants to learn. He learns as easy as I do.

I saw his project yesterday and everything was written in one method. I thought I was dying. Then remembered my first project... he will be fine

I have multiple but one of my biggest ones:

Build an entire suite of services which can replace the popular Google/microsoft/facebook (etc) services.

Of course: privacy respecting, preferrably everything possible end-to-end encrypted.

Because fuck mass surveillance and those companies and if I can do anything to fuck them (quite literally) and help people getting to user friendly alternatives, I'll do the best I can.

Having an english conversation with a russian client.
"What do you want the info to be?"
"I want the name, adress and etc."
"Etc?"
"Yes! I attached you a picture with everything...as you can see..."
<the picture is a huge table in russian>
"But the table is in russian"
"Yes"

One thing that I really hate is experienced programmers who don't threat newbies with kindness and act like "masters of everything"... Don't do that. :/

WHY THE BLOODY HELL does everything auto play, if I wanted to see your video I would click play, DO NOT ASSUME I want o see your shitty video.

I've never been to one, but they do tend to flood the industry with people who think they're the next Bill Gates, but everything they write sucks...

...wait, was that redundant? I can't tell...

Boyz, I don't feel like Windows 10 is collecting enough information from me. What can I do about this? I want to give everything to Microsoft <3

“What do you mean undeclared function?, it’s right there”

5 mins checking everything....

“oh I haven’t spelt it right.....”

"I think my next laptop is going to be a Chromebook. I can do everything from browser and any heavy computing/coding I will just ssh to home. Sounds good."

3 days later, my Chromebook is running Ubuntu 80% of the time since I bought it.

The music I hear while coding can describe my current mood:

Dubstep and other electronic music -> chilled and focused
Movie soundtracks -> everything I do today is working fine
Anime Openings/JPop -> in desperate need for motivation
Metal -> why is that son of a code not working?!

What kind of music do you listen to while coding?

Kid: How do you know what to use in a script?
Me: I've either used it before or look at documentation.
Kid: You're silly, I bet I know who knows everything and can tell you what the answers are!
Me: Oh? Who's that, the code creator?
Kid: Mistah Google behind my browser! Just ask him and he tells you everything he knows!

The little shit will be going places...

Me: I've been using ubuntu with i3 for 6 months. Is awesome. Everything works great.
Brain: Have you seen debian or arch linux. They're better than ubuntu. Just try' em
Me: Brain shut up. I don't have time to reinstall everything + I'll 100% fuck my pc up. I'll do it another time.
Brain: Trust me. I know what's better for you. Try it now
Me: No.
Brain: Pleeeeease.
Me: Ok fine.
Me: Now windows doesn't work, debian doesn't work. I need to format my hard drive and do this shit all over again.
Brain: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. Hey. Install arch linux.

How do you survive those days of pure despair, when you just want to hide or run away, when everything you do seems meaningless? How do you find the strength to keep moving forward when the voice in your head keeps asking "what's the point?"

I hoped this would go away (or at least get easier) with age, but here I am, almost in my thirties and still haunted by the same thoughts I've had since I was a teenager.

*Working on a personal project*
Random guy:- it sucks :|
Me :- idgaf about what you think ..So please f off -__-

*Paid project*
Client :- what's this? This is ridiculous..I don't like it at all
Me:- okay , I'll do something about it .

-__- money changes everything

I've dealt with dusty computers, REALLY dusty computers, computers owned by smokers.

I've seen dead beetles and earwigs and spiders with their cobwebs in computers and dealt with them.

I've even seen live moth larvae wriggling about in a computer.

But never, have I ever had to deal with fluids. Until today.

I had to take apart a laptop that had been used as a toilet by a cat. It was still wet, but not warm.

And I had to try to get data off of it. But no, the urine was not compliant.

So, already pissed off customer was less happy about the fact that her data would still be a few days away from recovery to a new computer.

At least her frustration wasn't at us.

Client: "Here's a report that we got another company to do, showing everything that's wrong with the site."

* Report shows all suggestions that I originally made and they shot down *

Me: *facepalm*

Ironically, the face I make when a project has no documentation is the same one I make when someone asks me to write documentation.

Client(over the phone):- I want an Android app where there job seekers and recruiters.

Me:- sounds reasonable enough, ok

Client:-i want job seekers to apply for the job and recruiters to post the job.

Me(gets a bad feeling);- doable ok.

Client:- and I want an admin user who can see all the users and do everything.

Me(yup there it is):- what do you mean by everything?

Client :- you know everything, talk to recruiters talk to see everyone using the app, you know everything.

Me :- no I don't know this "everything" that you speak of, tell me more, what screens (activity) should that have and stuff.

Client (getting irritated):- everything the admin user usually does.

Me(yare yare daze):- i will show number of users in a graph.

I have a feeling this is not over yet

FUCK! It's so FUCKING HOT. GODDAMN FUCKING SHIT. EVERYTHING IS SO MUCH MORE FUCKING ANNOYING IN THE HEAT. COUPLE THAT WITH THE FACT THAT I SUCK ASS AT EVERYTHING I TRY TO DO AND I SNAP AT THE SLIGHTEST THING. I NEED THAT FUCKING DEVRANT STRESS BALL, BEFORE I THROW MY SHITTY BOOK ACROSS THE ROOM, FOLLOWED BY MY CONTROLLER, MY LAPTOP, AND MY DESK SOON AFTER.

Fuck.

I hate when someone throws at me some task all of sudden with a tight deadline.

Wednesday was one of those days.

manager: we want to remove all the offices because of our tight budget this year (multimillionaire company, lol), everyone will use office 365;

me: ahn... ok, but everything was already tested? Some macros, routines, old documents can be a big problem, as far I know (I don't use M$ at home, servers are Linux, so I really don't know about that). I can do some tests, only will need some real documents to make sure everything will do fine;

manager: yeah, yeah, everything will be fine, the high management already decided, don't worry, just remove the offices in the company, ok?;

me: alright...

*me deploys the remotion script in every f*cking machine*

48 hours later...

manager: well... everyone is complaining about the office 365, random complains, can you attend all the calls and reinstall if you can't solve the problem?

WTFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!!!!!

[RAGES INTERNALLY]

I don't get all this hate for windows, it works great, you can do everything on it and who wants to "customize" his os is just ranting uselessly...
I'm using windows to write this message and I'm not having any prob...

Fucking Windows... If you don't have enough memory for everything youre supposed to do, then kill whatever you want, but not the fucking graphics driver.

What should I do then? Close something different? Fuckin Monkeys.

that moment as a sys admin when everything is in peace and you have nothing to do.
I usually go outside and get me a nice cup of coffee at a local cafe

today its a Latte Machiato with white chocolate

Update:

I disabled every google app on my phone, installed duckduckgo and apptoide an am routing everything through tor... Yay.

are there any hidden googlemapps that still tryna get my data?

Next step : block any google services. How to do that?

When a shitty website does a bad job at preventing behavior by disabling client-side items (such as right click), I take it as a challenge, and usually do everything they don't want me to, simply out of spite.

How do you like them apples ?
Devrant style

No kidding she was looking at me while I was drinking coffee, I almost spill everything up seeing that.

Dammit apple let me have some privacy !

I eat it...

Who cares about living longer, with more money and not bzing ill? If I had a wish I'd get my oN room of hyperbolic time so I'd get to finish what I want and do stuff I know it'd take YEARS to do (i.e. read everything DC and Marvel ever released)

But most importantly, I would be able to finish my side projects.

Interviewer: what’s a fun fact about you

Me: I’m a poorly mixed bag of ambition and depression so depending on the day I can do everything or nothing at all

Scariest thing I've ever experienced...
Was compiling a mod and left my laptop alone to do it's thing while I went to the bathroom. A couple of minutes later I started to smell something burning.
Rushed back to my laptop and everything was ok.

Turns out with all the coding I forgot about my toasts...

"How much info can we get from cookies? I want to get gender, approx. age and at least first name. That's possible, right?"

Me: "that's not how cookies work.. the info needs to be stored somewhere, where we can access it. It's not in guests cookies"

"How does Google do then? They're tracking everything we do.. *bla* *bla*"

- my business partner..........

I have severest feeling of being under qualified for everything... How do you guys get over that feeling?

Apple annual conference.

Do everything that Android, Windows and linux already do almost a decade later and everything is cool again???

I seriously feel bad for the consumers. I can't believe that they get away with this every year.

I dont get people, who work in the IT business but does not have a genuine interest in it.
Everything they will do will be bad
They will not learn nice stuff
They will do stuff slowly
They ask stupid questions all the fucking time

I noticed my co-worker has been using Atom editor for everything (we do Java/Scala). I asked, "So are you using the new language servers? How are you doing code completion?"

"I don't use code completion. I turn it off."

O_o "Do you not use screwdrivers? Like do you tighten screws in by hand?"

I've know people who code Java/Scala in emacs and vim, but they still had completion, type-lookups, etc. They was a higher learning curve in knowing all the keyboard commands, but all the tools were still there. I don't get people who refuse to use tools. It's reflected in this guys works too when looking at the code reviews.

When all you have is a hammer, everything is going to look like a nail.

Why do clients send everything embedded in a word document. Can you send me the jpeg? I receive a word document. (It's always word 2003 for some reason).

Oh Apple, f*ck you. I dont want to use safari.

If I do everything in Firefox, why do I have to change to Safari if I just want to learn about ARKit STuff...

Today after working 7 days on a project. My coworker comes up to me and says he pushed everything on the server and that he cleared git to make everything cleaner. When he did I that he forgot to change some vital things. Now we have a black website running and no backup code. I was so passed at him. Luckily a stressbal works really well. I threw it at is head and felt immediately better. Sad part need to do it all over again.

spent a week on medical leave, came back to utter chaos? my boys, you can't do my shitty job for a week? lmao
everything was dropped halfway through the week, a lot of old data live, shit passing the deadline. and I don't do much, just press the freaking buttons 🤦‍♀️

How do you get in the zone?

Distraction behavior is my worst enemy. I'm productive once I'm coding, but I will do everything under the sun before I start.

Any tips or tricks you use to overrule your lizard brain?

I had a great insight today: What annoys me so about social media and society in general are these „fake insights“ everyones having.

LinkedIn and Reddit are just undoable for me lately. Everything there feels like a youtube title: „Look how I increased my productivity“ - A To-Do-List.
We does everything anybody does or thinks have to be pseudo empowering? It less severe irl but I can feel it spilling into work in my startup company.
I feel people on devrant are the least annoying online. Why is that?

Sometimes I feel people underestimate us.

During all my life, people has asked me if I can fix their *any device* because it goes slowly/something doesn't work.

But, of course, for free. Because they think the only thing we do is pushing 3 buttons and everything is done. They think everything solves itself easily.

Then is the fact that we should be able to fix everything always. Even if the hardware is broken. Even if there isn't any way to solve the problem.

I think we deserve a little bit more from society. I don't expect people to understand what we do but at least something better than the guy who formats your computer when it starts to go slow.

(Maybe I'm the only one who feels that way or it's just where I live, idk)

I guess most of the things I do are a bad dev habit?
From not commenting stuff to commenting in German to copying stuff without looking at it, procrastinating a lot, not starting at all, bad naming of variables, bad... Everything? Idk, I have a lot to learn

*looks at code from a week ago*

Why did I do it this way!?

*refactors everything*

I am that person who'll try to do everything (web dev, games, apps etc) in one programming language coz I'm too lazy to learn another language. Maybe it's because I've never had a real dev job before.

I feel we can do nearly everything when we learn C# and JS.
How do ya think?

I am not saying that Brainfuck is not useful. I love that language btw.

I was asked by developer if everything seems right on his repo. He basically cloned my setup and removed "unnecessary steps".

I love developers, I really do :D

So my company set up environment for docker and bablabla manually . WHAT? and a new employee took 2 weeks to configure everything.

So I decided to do some automation, a script to auto cnfigure, download , blablabla, all the new guy have to do is run the script (regardless of OS) and that save two weeks time. Everything configured just took 4 hours (the project is 3 GB) automatically.

omg

C is probably my favorite programming language. I use it for learning new concepts and implementing algorithms.

It's just sometimes I hate that I have to do everything myself when I need to focus on the solution/concept instead.

P.S., I hate C++ from all my heart. It's an abomination and a deformity of C.

Got home to acknowledge I forgot to pay the fucking internet bill and now I'm in a void without knowing what I'll do and everything might end with me wasting my mobile data and some whiskey

Professor: "I've been using java for many, many years and know close to everything."

Student: "How do I compile my code on the unix server?"

Professor: "uhh.... I don't know."

Let's start hiring people who actually know what they're doing.

At my first internship I always had to cleanup the lunch area (after the lunch of course) and they would leave everything... One guy even left the crusts of his bread and so I had to cleanup everything. But the same guy one time left the crusts of an crusty bread roll... I mean what, how? WHY?? Who would do something like this?

Let's talk about kids!

Do you have any?

Do you want to have any? When? Why not?

I have two kids, one girl (2 yo) and one boy (5 mo).

The loves of my life and my main motivation for everything.

My mom woke me up at 6am because the tv sound was not working..
I tried almost everything, use the tv control, mute button, menu tv configuration..
even checked different inputs using my Nintendo switch and super Nintendo's and it didn't work..
Couldnt do shit.. so I had to use the old reliable!
turned off the tv and then turned on ..
It was like magic! fuck everything!

LEGIT FUCK ME!

So I use KDE Neon RN. One day, it randomly doesn't boot. Checked logs, sddm was fucked. Reinstalled. Everything worked fine for a day, next day: fucked. Reinstalled, disabled sddm (auto login) and then a day later: basically no services start / are missing and random parts of the os randomly crash.

Wtf do I do 😢

what a great idea to do server upgrades on a friday evening...and i can do it alone...and am responsible that everything works as expected...what a great day today...and i hate every single second of this day yet.. :-/

damnit i'm a developer, not a sysadmin, just because i can do it doesnt mean that i'm supposed to do it..what about our admins? what get they paid for? rebooting the coffeemachine? fuckers already left the building

Rant r = new Rant(Rant.TEAM_PROBLEM);

Three months ago, a senior, one year older than me, decided to join me in doing startups. He said he's good at finance stuff (his parents are fund managers), and he is interested in startups just like I am. He treated me very nicely, so I gladly accepted him.

I'm currently working on many projects, and some of them won me quite a few awards, most notably on the national competition. I also got invited into startup incubator programs, met some awesome people and offered free scholarships at universities in my country.

He frankly said he joined because he wanted to learn about startups and have those "privileges" too, and I'm cool with that.

Anyway, the problem is that I'm the one doing all the work. He's really nice, doesn't claim anything whatsoever, but the thing is he doesn't have any skills whatsoever except soft skills like communicating. So, I'm horribly tired from working alone.

My tasks mostly involves full-stack development, such as planning the specs, designing and developing frontend for mobile apps and progressive webapps, developing microservices for the backend, up to deploying and maintaining the servers. It's a lot of work for a single person to handle in such a short timeframe.

Not only that, but I'm also the one handling the business/marketing part, albeit I'm still learning. From doing paperworks, pitches, business models, up to creating advertising materials for the product.

I'm obviously not the smart ones like the people out there, but I keep focusing on improving my skills.

So, he said he could help me, and I let him try. What did you think he did?

He made pitch decks using default fucking PowerPoint themes, shooted a demo video with his phone cam in 320p potato resolution and expect me to "add some effects", gives me loads of requirements when all we needed was a simple feature, copying and pasting prior documents in my paperworks which doesn't make any fucking sense at all, and quite a lot more.

Also, he said I should stay in the developer zone only while he maintains the business, whilist he obviously can't do much in the business part either. Seriously...?

I'm okay with his lack of experience, considering he's nice and all, unlike the other business guys I've met in the previous rants. However, I keep questioning myself why he is here in the first place when I'm the one doing everything anyway.

What should I do? Maybe just keep him and recruit more experienced people to join us, as he's not that much of a burden? What do you devRanters think?

Thanks for reading, fellow devRanters! 😀

COO Snake ousts CEO, fires founders, is generally clueless about tech and product and design and science (and basically everything this business is about) and expected me to drop everything else I do (rich, varied and fulfilling) and work full time as a slave-nerd. Some people just don’t get it.

HELL FUCK AND HELL YEAH AT THE SAME FUCKING TIME!
Why? Well... You maybe remember that I Posted a Rant where i said that i Stream EVERY 3D Print i do. And... That I wanted to make an Easter Bunny, that failed... Failed Horribly... and thanks to the Fact im streaming everything i could just REWIND the footage AND FOUND THE ERROR! AND IM SO FUCKING GLAD THAT I DID THIS!
GOOD DOCUMENTATION IS A MUST FOR EVERYTHING!!! DOCUMENT YOUR WHOLE FUCKING LIFE! JUST FUCKING DO IT!

Fuck. The entire day to do this shit.
The screen was my first experiment, but because of a bad module (i2c) it didn't worked.
Today I finnaly got it to work.
Starting making everything almost like in the picture, everything mounted (and lots of black hot glue, no wires showing...
Didn't work.
One hour breaking everything apart without damaging the screen... Was a loose wire.
Started again... Didn't work...
The pot is also damaged, sometimes it works, others need to turn it hard.
New pot.
New set of wires.
Soldering everything right, testing all wires so no mistakes this time... But it takes so longgggg... Making everything in modules this time (to reuse without having to sordering again. And finally... It works.
By this time I should have 3 or 4 learning projects finish (I really wanted the screen to adapt all output in text, no serial, no blinking less, everything in modules, code prepared so, when I get my 40+ packages from China I already have a prototype tester ready.
10 hours... Fuck I'm really addicted, or else I would just solder everything together :D

What the FUCK is the point of submitting a PR, if you're going to approve my code, without looking at it, and then LEAVE ME to further refactoring.

I don't mind the refactoring. At. All.

What I DO mind, is being told "yerp, looks good" and then standing aside as I break everything.

TeAmWoRk

I hate when I'm getting in my flow and everything starts clicking, but I have to stop to go do something else. It sucks having something almost completely solved but not having enough time to finish it.

What really gets on my nerves?
People that think I can fix every computer problem there is, just because I'm a developer and therefore must know everything about PCs.

What do I look like, a Tech Wizard?

Customer: Does your program do everything I specified in that mail from 2 months ago?
(btw the mail was 5 sentences...)
Me: Yes.
Customer: And does it do xyz?
Me: No, but to be fair, you did not specify that!
Customer: But that's what I've got you for! You should have known that!

🤦🏻‍♂️

My parents think everything i do on the computer is magic. Theyre too scared to toich any of my stuff because I convinced them it records live video and biometrics to my phone.

Sometimes life is good

FUCK YOU LIFE!
YOU LEFT ME 3 HOURS WALKING IN THE COLD TO GET TO MY HOME FROM MY FUCKING INTERNSHIP!
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS ORGANIZE EVERYTHING SO THAT I.E. TODAY THE BUS DOES NOT ARRIVE AT THE BUS STATION??!?!??!?!?!!
I ALWAYS DON'T HAVE LUCK. WHATEVER I DO... I (ALMOST) ALWAYS FAIL AT IT (not talking about skill-related stuff! fuck you!)

just because i want a motherfucker to sit on top of everything! lol

do you know an easier way?

just quit my job, and the last push i do is changing all the literal string contained in variable and/or stdout to base64 encoded string. and change it to call my secretely placed decoder function.

Everything is working normally guys! *walks away into darkness*

Passwords.. how do you guys manage yours? I'm one of those who often used the same semi weak password for nearly everything

I'm more than likely going to get a password manager but I have no idea which, do you use any?

So I am for sure not the best web developer but I have been working on a personal project for over a year now.
Teaching everything myself I somehow got to a pretty oldschool, stack I still use: PHP, HTML5, JS with Jquery, ...

Should I feel bad about that? I somehow can't bring myself to learning something else because at this time I can do everything I want to do with my simple setup. Am I missing out on something big?

The president and manager where I work always say: "We have to defy the status quo". But when I say "we don't need to do that in this way, we can do it this way which is more efficient". Then they say, "We can't because we have to do everything in the same way". You are just making yourself look stupid.

At home: Man I really love code and everything I can do with it. I'm a fucking wizard.

At work: You want me to copy and paste some text into the view for you? Okay... *cries into keyboard*

Me: we should take this project a little more serious, follow the coding standards and please let us use git!

Pal: Oh sure.

//made a new repo and the first commit, sent the link and prepared everything (Granted access etc.)
//2 weeks later

Me: What's up, I already got quite some commits and you haven't pushed anything so far.

Pal: Pushed? what do you mean?

Me: I'm the talking about the git repo, I'm the only one contributing.

Pal: Oh yeah git, I installed it but I have no idea how that stuff works. I opened Git gui but i don't know what I'm supposed to do. I got everything in the Dropbox tho.

Me: ... ... ... FUUUUUUUUU WHAT THE FUCK MATE ARE YOU SHITTING ME, THE HELL DO WE HAVE GOOGLE FOR AND WHY DIDNT YOU ASK, LIKE WTF SERIOUSLY I EXPLICITLY TOLD YOU TO USE GIT.

😣

I literally dont use any other code editor other than intellij. Yes not even your fucking vscode. I code frontend in intellij! I code angular and nextjs in intellij!! Intellij literally has everything anything else has plus way more. Intellisense is also much better. Theres also been a major update yesterday and everything is so much faster and smarter. And theme is way better looking. I will dick ride intellij till death do us apart!!!!

I remember I was a child trying to tinker around the only computer that we had. No one knew how to install the Windows OS from scratch with the drivers and everything else (they were installed on floppy disks) so when no one was around I managed to do it everything. I remember such joy, felt like a hacker 😂

Now I'm a web developer and I feel like a moron each time I'm sitting on a defect I can't solve so I'd say these were good times 😜

I hate it every single time my boss says: Don't we have a script for that?

Maybe in he imagination we have everything automated so anything I want to do I just need to press a button. And that's why he thinks me slacking?

Feeling so dumb right know.
I have a C# exam tomorrow (on paper) and i can't get my brain to think in code.
I can't focus, I can't concentrate. I don't remember things i normally know by heart. Is it just stress? (Everything is pretty hard atm, lots of stress, lots of problems).
What could i do? I'm pretty messed up right now...

Why the fuck do I have to work with Windows? AND WHY THE FUCK DO I NEED TO RESTART 3 TIMES TO GET ACCESS TO THE INTERNET? AND... WHY THE FUCKING FUCK IS EVERYTHING 7000 TIMES SLOWER WHEN I PUT MICROSOFT DOMAINS IN MY ROUTER FIREWALL?!

People have a hard time realizing we do have to cover (at least try) all the possibilities... Yes ma'am I do have to know everything beforehand...

aaarghh i left my laptop at home and now im bored as hell at work. i had things planned out for today and now i cant do them cause i dont have my laptop with me for 2 hours. the computers at work dont have everything i need :(

I never understood why some developers _ before their Javascript variable or functions. Do they serve any purposes? Other they just make everything look bizarre

I worked with guy who was a teacher at bootcamp for 2 years already. He was fired after 2 months of juniorship at software house, because he couldn't do anything properly. I think it tells everything.

To all the developers with a permanent job:

Do you guys still reference the web when working on a project or you know everything and code everything perfectly w/o help?

Just wanted to know if I need more practice with my skills or am I good to go.

was super tired yesterday and manager asked me if everything is ok, i ended up telling her way more than i should have about basically that I'm looking for other jobs... damn it why did i do that?!

Every fucking time I explain why we should do things according to X and instead of giving arguments I'm only presented with "that won't work here" ...
Every time we are on a hurry because we don't do X ...
Every time we are delayed because we don't do X ...

I get less and less motivated to be here...

Soon they won't hear me saying anything and will keep wondering why everything just melted after I left...

Am I the only one who does not like to use the Internal tools of company? In my company they have almost everything made by themselves.
I do not see any benefit for my skills, and above this the documentation sucks.

Of course the first thing I do when I sat at my desk is to update my Firefox. And I realized that chrome also needs an update.

I remember clearly that I just updated everything yesterday. So Google released updates on the same date as Mozilla.

Coincidence? Don't think so.

Ah good ol' refactoring summer.

*Me starts refactoring spaghetti bolognese*

- Hurrah everything can be generic and so much better. I'll just do this and this and this and this, oh and this also needs to be reworked cuz of this.

8 hours later.

- it wasn't that bad!

$ git status

- oh god

$ dotnet test

- welp.... I need something to do tomorrow.

RANT!

I still struggle to find the suitable address book software for our company. It supposed to be secure and inexpensive. But how so? It's flipping not possible to have both!
My boss answer to almost everything I say: Just do it! - in German: einfach machen! Please hulp!

So I went to some meetup with my boss.
Suddenly some old friend of mine shows up, and we start talking..
- „Where do you work now?“
„$company in $city“
- „And.. Do you like it there?“
„Now way, I hate my job.. Too many idiots around!“

The thing is: My boss was right behind me all the time and heard everything..

FML!

Here's a hypothetical scenario: what if all web-developers in the world united and collectively decided to act as if there are no other browsers except Firefox and Chrome?
I know I do. Of course, everything I ever made targeted younger audiences, so only idiots, Apple fanboys and the ocassional Opera user used anything else...

Reasons to dislike our work VPN when working remotely: Forces all traffic to be routed through it, not only the important internal stuff.

For some reason, I just dislike having everything I do potentially recorded and/or at least slowed down.

Hacking the parental control software parents which limited the access to 70 minutes a day.
The only thing I had to do was not clicking OK on the message box which was shown whenever I logged in. It was a model dialog which blocked everything else...

So after getting my question down-voted & deleted in SO, I thought of trying my luck here.

As a recent graduate and unemployed, Do you think I should focus on one web platform or I should know a bit of everything and then later on I focus on one platform when I get my full time job? or what do you think I should do?

I have experience with Laravel (mid-level) and asp.net core (beginner level).

Thank you for your time.

How I hate the moments when you realize you have wasted time during the day and want to do everything in the evening.

My god do I hate changing DNS settings. Spent an hour double and tripple checking everything and reading documentation. Was super stressed the entire time. Still ended up with a misconfiguration and 15 minutes downtime. But things seem to be working now.

How the fuck do you do a performance review?

For me, we need to do self assessments.

Part of it is what I do well, part of it is what i need to improve.

No idea what to put, since I feel like I'm awful at everything lol.

Client: I need you to clean up the database and remove all rows [with children] with a timestamp older than 5 years

Team: OK

Team [internally]: we definitely need a dba for this
Me: dba? Why? A junior dev can do that
Team: yyeeaahh, but still.. A DBA would do it better. You know, foreign keys and everything

Me: ....

What have I been working absolutely all fucking day? FUCKING PRINTERS. I am so fucking tired of printers, everything to do with the stupid pieces of shit.

Then, some fuck stain has called me 6 times in the last hour trying to get me to drop all the things I’m doing and make him priority #1... Even though it has nothing to do with the computer and everything to do with the lack of fucking skills he has to preform his god damn job.

For fuck sakes, FUCK OFF!

How do you transition from a Windows to Apple keyboard layout? OS X is good and everything but I can't get accustomed to this weird layout. All my shortcuts that I spent years memorizing doesn't work. Halp!

Installing a software on Linux can be such a pain sometimes....
This software needs a dependency, which needs another, which in turn needs another......

I mean if you already know you need it, go install it yourself. Why do I need to do everything manually?

And no. A simple apt get install won't work. You need a third party dependency which adds the package to the repository and some other stuff before you can do anything.

Why? Just why?

How do I shake the feeling that I need to know everything? As I learn more about development and its various aspects I feel like I need to master every technology and I know that's impossible but I can't help but feel it. It gets to the point sometimes where I'm paralyzed with indecision and I can't decide what to start learning

You fucking piece of shit, how do I get you to work, I literally installed all libraries, 7-zip, everything, fucking work already

::This app says you need at least 3GB RAM.

::> delete everything there, I don't need anything.

:: uaaaaa.... you can't (long pause... ) do that.

::> I don't need anything from the laptop, delete everything and make the app run.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (he had 2GB ram)

when you start a project with "im gonna do this MVC thing correctly this time" then after a few days, weeks you realise everything is a controller

am i the only one?

There are a couple of things I like to do before sitting down to code for the first time on a project. Throughout all of this I'm (sometimes unconsciously) planning out the project.

- Clean the house;
- Buy groceries;
- Buy/prepare food & eat;
- Arrange everything on my desk so that everything looks slick as fuck;
- Actually sit down to do something;
- Realize it's past midnight;
- Go to sleep.

Sometimes I wonder if I have OCD...

I came into work with a skip in my step and was actually feeling positive for once.

That all came crashing down when a guy I despise who has half the experience I do and even less seniority than I do got promoted above me before I did.

This guy is a talentless, boring, irritating hack who rides the success of others and does everything to glorify his ego. He shits on everything he doesn’t like and no one likes him. I guess that’s why he’s on the fast track to management.

I asked why I haven’t been promoted yet, despite being the technical guru on the team and having professional accomplishments that make his look silly in comparison. Their reason “well he comes in earlier than you”. Well guess what fuckers. I still get my work done and I stay later. Seriously, fuck this place.

This guy also worked with me on a past project. I use “worked” loosely because he did nothing but sit there and criticize everything while doing minimal code. When the company we were doing the work for folded he demanded to be paid his full portion, and I got jack shit despite having done all of the fucking work.

This guy...seriously...why do people who do fucking nothing get the glory? Why do I even fucking try?

Begin working on new project

Don't know how to implement a feature

A billion solutions online, understand one of them

Spend hours implementing and google-bug-fixing

Get it working

Incompatible with everything else I want to do

Mfw.jpg

$ git reset --hard HEAD~

I want to burn everything that has something to do with Drupal..

>Be me.
>Apprentice dev, first real programming job.
>Excited to start work.
>Contract comes through.
>About what I expected, i.e. we own everything you make while working here.
>Sign and send the signed pages back.
>Next day...

>READ THESE 5 20 PAGE PDF BOOKLETS, DO PENSIONS, SIGN 3 DOCUMENTS, LET US LOOK UP YOUR DICK PICS AND EVERYTHING ELSE, GIVE US YOUR PASSPORT, AND SEND BACK THE ENTIRE CONTRACT.

>...ok.

I just want to do nothing. Be a cat: eat and sleep as much as I physically can. I'm just physically and mentally exhausted and basically have no desire to do anything anymore.

Fuck everything.

The only thing which prevents me from doing that is some leftovers if common sense which tell me that it's unwise to abandon everything when you've left only 3 weeks to do shit and then it's not your problem anymore.

But even this sense cannot disarm an overwhelming procrastination.

And people. Fuck people. Only a very small minority is actually tolerable.

Thanks for listening to my TED talk.

So I have a job at a client to fix their system because the last systemadmin fucked everything up. One of the things I need to do is let the boss work from home.

No problem. I set up a vpn connection to work and everything just works. Except that the home network had the same dhcp range so that had to change.

I login on the router and literally everything is fucking locked. I call them and they send me a new router same fucking problem. So we bought an asus router so I finally can fix it.

QUESS WHAT THE FUCKING GARBAGE DOESNT EVEN HAVE BRIDGE MODE. FUCK KPN AND THEIR MODEMS.

Flutter.

Should I first write some code and learn the language and experiment with existing app projects from github

or

Can i dive deep into a real project from the start and basically keep googling for everything i dont know how to do?

Evening: I have no idea how to do it, 4 hours of programming are just wasted.

Morning: Oh, I changed couple lines in yesterday code and everything is perfect now.

I use Google for anything I don't know ,
Does that mean I'm a bad programmer?
If so , if I memorize everything I googled once , will I be a good programmer ?
How do good programmers find the solution? Do they try everything ? Kinda brute force ?

What the hell Windows !!!
I go for a 15 minutes break, and you decide to close everything and make an update??

Let me do my job you sob.

So I'm a "Web Application Developer" but I have to go out on site whilst a trained engineer sits in the office doing nothing. Everything I can do on site I can do from my office with teamviewer. Hit the M25 at 09:00 and will hit it again at 17:00 ... not a fun day

I gave up trying to use generic numbers in rust and just converted everything to f64

now I can do math

stupid system

*moves into a new language, converts language to JavaScript*

It's been 5 years this month since I started learning programming, getting interested after learning about Linux, wanting to do operating systems and games.

I started with C++, went on to C and assembly language for about 2 years and gave up on it for the most part.

Afterward did Java for two years and hated every second of it! Switched to Python instead (been using it since 2.7.5).

Now I do Haskell and JavaScript and those languages do everything so much easier I can never see myself ever going back!

when you are the one that knows about networks and computer and no one else knows about and it's my fault that it doesn't work and the ISP has a full log of everything that has been done. how about no they don't because it's just router changes not anything that we browsed to on the internet. why don't you go back and do what you do and I do what I do?

Are there people here who actually unit/integration/end-to-end/stress test (almost) everything? Or is it a common fact that nobody has time/budget and/or needs to do so?

I like to think I test all the code I write, but to be honest, I think it's closer to 1 to 5%

How about a Git for Databases?
Do your changes, delete things, create things, and then when you are sure push these changes to your server.
If you did something wrong like accidentally delete fucking everything, just revert and everything is like before again.
Also you can view history and blame people for doing something wrong.

Tell me what you think about this. Not clue how you could implement this tho... Also I have enough to do already so feel free to take this idea!

I don't know your view on girls coding but I love it. They're vicious, focused and can do their job and instantly they can smile at you and make you forget everything. Thank you for being around the office.

What I really hate? When a piece of code simply refuses to work. No logs, no exceptions, no sign that it even exists. HOW THE FUCK I'M SUPPOSE TO DEBUG THIS SHIT?? I drives me crazy, if everything I do changes nothing! It makes me doubt my sanity. And I like my sanity!

Father: knows nothing about programming but tells me how to do everything...mmm, ok.

Mother: a sponge for all my frustrations...prey for her.

Brother: thinks that I am Tony Stark.

Grandparents: ..well I spend my days with a typewriter and a television for them xD

Friend (Computer Science student) - Dual boot my Windows 10 with Ubuntu
Me - I will, but chances are something bad may happen. Mostly it does not. I advise you to backup everything first.
Friend - But I don't even have an external hard drive.
Me - So what do you want me to do?
Friend - Forget it. I'll figure how to do my work in Windows
Me - But how else are you going to learn?
Friend - Ain't nobody got time for that!

Right now I am hating everything, the job, the people i work with, the people I live with, the city and the people in city.

I have no motivation left in me.

All I want to do is sleep and eat pizza.

I hate colleagues calling me without informing me like WTF. Me being online on Teams does not mean I will drop everything to talk to you. Do I need to put myself to busy whole day?

I thought I had seen everything, but today a coworker tried to call one test case from another and asked me if that is an okay thing to do.

I don't know what's wrong with me..

Within one day I basically lost interest in everything I do. I just don't see the point of all this anymore.

And the bad thing is, that I don't even know where that comes from so suddenly, everything is going fine, but still.. Life just feels like pain at the moment.

Don't want do drag down someone else with me and I sincerely apologise if it's too late to mention it at this point, just hope that maybe someone here can understand what's going on or give me some advice on how to fix my situation.

I used to work in IT support during my training, this is the most accurate description of the job:
If everything just works people will be like "what do we pay you guys for?" And if something doesn't work: "what do we pay you guys for?" ...*sigh*

Ugh I hate jQuery. It's so bloated, and I can do everything I need without it. But I can't get rid of it cause WordPress absolutely needs it.

At least I can pretend it doesn't exist on my personal projects.

I lost my ability to enjoy computer games.

I really want to revisit my favorite ones (Unreal Tournament, everything made with Source Engine, also Life is Strange, Gish, some other indie games), but every time I try, I feel like alien. I feel like I don’t belong here. Every time there is nothing but sadness.

I even sold my gaming pc upon realizing that after completing Doom 2016 I haven’t played anything at all.

What do I do now?

mother fucking is this joke I work on everything and credit goes to PM. Is this is a joke? What pm will do if developer doesn’t develop then she will just blame I got bad developer.

I want to build a home automation bot but I don't know what kind of features to give it. I have hue lights and I want a smart speaker/google home mini. Do you guys have ideas? I'm open for everything.

Have you seen the new telegram "istant view"??
I like the update they are making, expecially this istant view... Telegram can became the app for everything!
What about making a template for devrant on telegram istant view?
In next weeks i will try to do it in free time!

Question:
Do we have any Ingress players around here? What do you think about the upcoming Ingress Prime? I am somehow excited, but only because I just decided to upgrade my mobile phone some days ago 😉 Now the graphics boost can come. 😁 And I really hope that Niantic does not fuck up everything when they plan to be more entry level friendly in the future.

Resistance FTW!

So... about how I fell in love with coding

I was 12 years old when I went to mom’s work because I had nothing else to do. There was an iMac. At that time I used to have a PC at home with a Windows OS. When I approached MacOS at my mom’s office I had no idea what to do. Right before my mom had told me that I shouldn’t delete anything, all the documents are really important on there. So guess what I Did? In order to download Counter Strike 1.6 game I decided to install Windows OS on the iMac which deleted everything that was on the computer! Absolutely everything! So.. my mom told me to fix this after, and then I started to do some research and somehow learned python and javascript in next two months. Thanks to my mom!

Lovely unity.

I kept building apps for android for the WHOLE day, then I just change the app version and what do I get?

No android SDK version is installed anymore, apparently.

Now I'll just have to wait like 3-4h to download everything back again.

Friday afternoon 5:00pm: everything works wonderfully fine, let's go home!!
Monday morning 9:30am: Let's do some more test on the latest code I have wr.... KABOOOOM!!!

Ah, so the great war I my head has begun. When you're a CS major in college, you can't help but realize that knowing everything about computers and how to develop everything on thrm is next to impossible. So you start to question "what will be my specialty?". "Web dev or Low-level? "swirl through my head. I work on projects when I should be writing that 5-page essay for that College Composition course I care nothing about. Then on my own time I need to openly practice and refine my craft, and studying. Sheesh, I hate time (or the lack thereof). How do you do anything major on your own these days?

Why is there so much stuff to learn and know? I just want to be able to do everything myself in a week.

I feel so overwhelmed. I feel like I'm never going to actually learn everything about programming. I feel like I'm just going to learn some new API every time I want to do some thing. I feel like I'll lose the ability to do basic programming. I feel like I need a cup of coffee.

Pretty busy day at work today.. in the midst of everything, a co worker asked me to sync their branch on GitHub since they don't know how to.

Told them to commit any changes do that there wouldn't be any conflicts.

Their response: "you should already have my latest from 2 days ago"

.....
Two questions that I should have asked:

1) what have you been doing for two days?
2) why am I doing everything else?

:\

My team has a huge, high priority project to make a very complex system a lot more simple.

It has to follow the same rules as the current system and do everything it does.

Can I kill myself now?

How the hell do I manage time as a dev and a project manager (sorry I'm new to the role of doing both and everything is hitting me all at once, any advice is appreciated)

What do people here use for blogging and hosting? Everything I can find from searching suggests self-hosted Wordpress, but I am cautious because of its reputation in the dev world and since all the guides I have found so far are directed at non-coders. Thanks in advance for any opinions 😊

If I know more UX than our designer does, I will do everything in my power to make them feel as small and minuscule as possible until they can actually contribute something meaningful and not a utter time waster to the team.

I'm fed up with my work. I am the only dev so I have to manage everything, from negotiating integration protocols to design and implementation. The field is rather exotic and I don't have much room to grow and develop my skillset. I earn literally 1/4 of what my peers make in other companies doing more interesting things...

But then again my boss (the company is real small) helped me a lot during some difficult times and I don't want to pull the rug from under him. So I'm trying to get things organized and done as much as possible so as to leave everything good for my successor, but that's hard since im the only dev and i have to do everything...

Kinda vicious cycle...

Dear windows,

you maybe protecting my privacy when you block my microphone from all apps, including discord, audacity, OBS, Skype, everything.

Why do this though? I may as well completely protect myself from everything by turning off my PC.

Thanks for telling mw btw, I thought my microphone was broken.

short: free/cheap music making software?

Can someone recommend me some neat, free (or affordable one-time payment) music composing software / Digital Audio Workstation? I don't have a MIDI keyboard, I'd do everything per mouse/computer keyboard input. Windows btw

Gonna start to learn everything I can about Networking Programming. I’ve always wanted to do stuff that requires it so I’m gonna do it. **Also foreshadowing my next project**

Hi everyone... Great to be back but not feeling so great. I keep feeling... "tired", "bored", like everything I do has no fucking meaning. Like I lost all of that fun I had when I was making my own projects. I get home at 6PM from work and it feels like time passes by so fast. I can't even muster up the enthusiasm to start my own personal projects.

What do you do when you feel like this? How can I get back my enthusiasm?

Professor: with rm -r /* you can delete everything on your pc

Me: ou boii lets try it can't be so bad🤪

Prof: pls never try this, when i say everything i mean everything

Me: ou frick what did i do 😱

Note for me: Next time do a backup

My friend has a little problem. He wants to clearly reinstall windows, format partitions and install it again. I was very surprise with question: "Do I have to remove Windows folder and remove everything else?"

"Ughh, you're such a lazy person. Why don't you finish it instead of making me do everything afger I asked YOU to do it"

I am so fucking done playing family technicman for you. I copied all of your data from your old phone to yojr new one. I set up everything except personal accounts because I respect privacy. You only need to insert your damm sim card.

And don't you even try giving me that "I tried but could not do it, it's just to complicated"

I could buy the same phone, throw it at you and pay the lawyer if I would get one cent for each time you said that.

So had a plan to do a gamejam this week seeing I had nothing planned after work but nooooooooooooooo of course everything I could ever need to do decides it needs to be done this week -.-

It's what I get for being excited I guess :-(

I hate cloud corps like GCP for pushing down our throats half-baked solutions as Datastore. Why can't i do a simple "NOT IN [list]" query ffs?! Why do you have multiple syntax for doing the same things? Where is your fkin user guide for everything your app can/cannot do? fk u goog

Fuck the organigram, I will do what I love to do, not what impresses people. Happiness over everything 👌🏻

Leaving the company in 9 days (!!!)
Any suggestions for the last week?
Any ideas for a leaving session?
I updated the Wiki and documented everything.
I did the missions no one wants to do and a lot of dev tasks.
What else can I leave behind for the team?

Me: so we've added bunch of features to our app so that everything updates live automatically and you can edit it online and sort and filter and do bunch of other stuff.

Boss: great, how do I export it to xls?

Day ruined, cos some fucker paid to do something has fucked up and delivered, 3 days late, a crock of shit. I spent fucking ages with clear instructions and everything to avoid this fucking situation, yet here we are. Fuck shit fuck tits wanker.

I try not to think about the future.
But can not not do it.

Every thing will come together.
Or apart.

Disorder will increase.
Or everything is a lie.

When everything kind of just clicked.
I was struggling with learning how to program for quite some time when I first started, but one day I'm not sure what happened but everything clicked. It all started making sense and I felt like I could do anything with code. It was on that day that I knew I was going to be a dev for life.

Is it weird that I don't wanna live to be hundred, but I'd rather do everything I wanna do as soon as possible?

Sorry to ask something like this here, but my friends are dealing with their own shit and don't wanna bother them.

!rant

Buy some colored pens. The more colors the better.

I did it out of curiosity. Ended up being a life saver when taking notes and planning work on paper. It probably cut my work in half. I spend more time writing stuff on paper and planning stuff, but when I do write 10 lines of code, they turn out to be pure gems fitting perfectly in the entire structure. I write them with tons of confidence, knowing that I had thought of everything and I didn't forget anything, because everything is right there, in color, on the diagrams that I drew.

"I heard that everybody can do that"
Yes, like everything...

I do everything to have great time management except starting early.

Basically I manage minimizing how late I am extremely well.

A sub company of the company I work for is about to be shut down. It makes me sad because I developed everything on the platform. All my work just gone.. at least I learned a lot about what NOT to do though

I can't get over how absurd this is:

a = "123456"
a = int(a)

Is it just me or do you have to let go of everything you hold dear, embrace Satan, and sell your soul to be able to code in Python.

How to protect privacy and stay sane? It feels like I have to think and do everything or it's all useless...

do you think that the new 300Mbit network interface of RPi 3B+ will be useful?

Personally I doubt....
it still need to share the bus with everything else.

If I just try another way to do the same thing my broken code tries to do, either the new version makes my mistake obvious or everything just works.

Is this debugging? It's just rewriting. It seems faster than debugging.

I'm curious, why do you guys seem to always put up with "I changed my mind, I need it by Friday" kind of requests? "I've pulled an all-nighter, because customer wanted it before the holidays" - didn't you agree to do it after the holidays? Did the customer come by with a bag of money for you to put away everything else for them? Even if you do get paid extra, do you really get that much more to make your suffering worth it?

All I want to do is thumbnail some damn images but PIL and libjpeg are being a pain in the ass and turning everything green.

I feel really stressed about everything I want to learn. Everytime I hear someone talk about some new framework or I see people here discuss languages or stuff I don't know anything about, I want to learn it. Right now the list of things I feel I need to learn is so fucking big that I've no idea where to start. Also, I need to focus on my upcoming exams, so I've absolutely no time to learn or do anything. Backend, front-end, iOS, Android, desktop, OS development, everything. So much to learn, so little time.