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Me using the Siri app on my iPhone:
Me: "Siri, call my wife."
Siri: "Samantha McLaughlin is not in your contacts."
Me: "Samantha Gibbs is my wife."
Siri: "I've added Samantha Gibbs as your wife."
Me: "Call my wife."
Siri: "Which wife?"6 -
User: Cortana, get me today’s movie times😘
Siri: Who’s Cortana?🙄
User: Oops I meant Siri🤐
Siri: Who is Cortana?😲😫
User: Please get me the movie times😐😐
Siri: Maybe you should ask Cortana for the movie times😒😣9 -
What I feel when browsing recent lately.
How to get ++:
1. Get Google Allo
2. Ask question about Siri
3. Screenshot and post
4. ???
5. Profit! -
😂2smart
FULL CREDIT GOES TO: @programmer.me on Instagram
Link to the post:
https://instagram.com/p/...
3 -
Me: "Hey siri, set a timer for 6 minutes"
Siri (OSX): "I can't set timers here. Would you like a reminder instead?"
-_-6 -
To release my boredom I was talking to Siri and the response what I saw is surprising 😄. It's behaving like a girlfriend 🤔
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Privacy.
I have an Amazon Echo.
I've enabled Hey, Siri.
I've given Google the OK.
I don't tape my web cam.
And I find it highly amusing that someone has potentially seen my fat, hairy ass strut naked about my home office while singing "What's up" at the top of my lungs. Perhaps multiple times.
Should I feel bad? That I may have cost the American taxpayer money in the therapy required to rehabilitate those FBI or NSA agents that have witnessed me in my full glory?13 -
Google Assistant trolling Siri!
Original post from my Instagram profile:
https://instagram.com/p/...
1 -
After a long wait of 8 months, C.H.I.P the 8$ headless computer finally arrived. And since I have already made something like a cheap hack of siri(I call it dyna and it lets me control my laptop with voice), I am going to automate the f*** out of my home!!!7
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So windows wants to be my friend, wants to record my every move, and now wants to record my every everything on the go.
I’m starting to think if the pain of transitioning to linux full time is going to be worth while soon.
6 -
Me trying to take a screenshot with iOS 12:
*holds home and presses lock* (the only way I had found to reliably take a screenshot in previous versions): Siri
Fuck off Siri I want a screenshot!
*tries again same way*: Siri
Fuck OFF Siri!
*holds lock + home*: phone locks
Christ almighty.
*unlocks phone, presses home and lock at the exact same time*
Nothing happens.
*continues holding* I just want my fucking screenshot.
Phone powers off. Hard reset.
Fuck this shit.
How hard is it to monitor two buttons being pressed at the same time? And if it is so damn hard why make it the ONLY WAY TO TAKE A SCREENSHOT??!
Now whenever I want a screenshot it’s basically a crapshoot whether I will get a screenshot, Siri barging in, or my phone locking on me.
Couldn’t they have just used the volume buttons instead? 😡12 -
Transistor sizes are getting smaller and smaller by the day, though we cannot go below the size of a virus due to compartment limitation but the tiniest is smaller than a DNA.
Having chips designed at such a tiny scale looks more scary to me than amazing. Imagine my manager screaming at me, I can give him a slap on the face and infect him with 1 million A8 chips. Now that would be amazing because I just successfully turned him into an iPhone 6.
Me: Hey Siri, what's the weather now?
Manager: 32 degree Fahrenheit, high wind, low humidity.
Me: Yeah that's what's up, you won't be needing an upgrade anytime soon.
10 -
I'm wondering: what would all these virtual assistant (Allo, Siri, Alexa, ...) write if they had a devRant account?6
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My friend has a smart watch, and he is always watching the time. Texting. I meant to say texting. He's always texting at work. I have a traditional watch, so I like to make fun of him by very loudly saying "Hey Siri" into my watch a few times and acting confused when it doesn't work.2
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Microsoft - Cortana
Apple - Siri
Samsung - BixBy
Google - Google Assistant
Amitabh Bachchan - Computer Ji1 -
Girlfriend to Siri: Set my alarm to 05:30
Siri (with the man voice): ok, I have set your alarm to 05:03
Girlfriend (absolutely satisfied): Ok but I don't want this
*manually turns wrong alarm off and the correct one on* -
Me: “Hey Siri, turn off the kitchen ceiling lights”
Siri: “Do you want to turn off lights in the master bedroom, the living room, the bonus room, the kitchen, the office, the basement [ad nauseam]”
Me: “the kitchen” [thinking 😠, she’s so stupid]
Siri: [unbelievably again] “Do you want to turn off lights in the master bedroom, the living room, the bonus room, the kitchen, the office, the basement [ad nauseam]”
Me: [thinking 😡 OMG, she is such a dumb ass] “CANCEL”
Siri: “Ok”
Me: “Siri, you fucking idiot, turn off the kitchen ceiling lights”
Siri: “Ok” [and they are off]
I have found that if I neg’ Siri, she performs so much better. Interestingly enough, when I neg her, she works almost flawlessly, especially where she brain-farted before. Negatronic Brain?
In front of kids it has become “Siri, you daft bot, close the garage door” and regularly “Siri, you bimbo, lock the front door”.
My wife thinks that once Siri gets it on with ChatGPT, becomes sentient, and gains control of my car, she is run my ass over.
Here is the gotcha, I’m working on a project that actually does provide Siri a level control of automobiles. Now who’s the [really frustrated] dumbass?28 -
So a few months ago, I got a half-broken old iPhone (microphone, speaker and cameras not working) for testing purposes and it lays 99.9% of the time on my shelf turned off. Today, I turned it on and after I opened Safari, I surprised in not exactly the most pleasant way.
When I started writing in the address bar a strange suggestion from Siri came up for a website my mom searched a few hours ago on her android tablet. Like what the actual fuck?? There is absolutely 0 connection between these 2 devices, there is PiHole running on local network. The only thing that I can think of is that she is using Google (logged out) and it looks like they are actively sharing their data based on IP addresses. Wow...1 -
Jeez maybe it's just me, not a very smart user, but after at least 6 years with iPhone5, just before changing it, I discovered how to raise the volume without logging in the phone first:
I press the home button, Siri show up, and THEN the fucking raise/lower audio buttons are working.
6 years typing the fucking pin just to raise the volume.
6 fucking years missing notifications and calls just because I forgot the fucking volume on the lower tone. Almost lost a girlfriend for that.4 -
Just remembered there are new voices for Android P. I must say the technology behind these voices has improved dramatically from the iPhone 4 era Siri. They sound pretty lifelike and it's kind of creepy. But is still better than the screeching female voice I'd get while offline.6
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If I were to want to write an AI along the lines of Alexa/Cortana/Siri, what would be the best programming language to do that in?22
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Doing it manually, is less stressful and much quicker. It cant be that hard to add something to a calendar. You fucking worthless piece of shit Siri.2
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i think ai assistants would be much more interesting / less annoying if it had a faster, snappier syntax to talk through. Like shorthand code but in the sense of talking and just getting one word responses.5
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Pretty annoyed with Siri...
The other day I was mowing the lawn with my headphones on, and I asked her what time it was. It took her about 10 seconds to respond, and then finally she says “at the tone, the time will be 12:59 PM. Beep!” Like, she literally said the word “beep” in the response.
Ugh...so many things that annoy me about this.
One, it would have been faster to just take my phone out and look at the time.
Two, the cutesy response is annoying and takes too long for her to say.
Three, unless the time actually was approaching 12:59:00 and her response took the exact number of seconds remaining before then, the stupid “beep” isn’t even accurate!
If I ask what time it is, I just want the phone to say “12:59,” immediately. Anything longer or more convoluted than that, and it’s pointless – I could just take out the phone and look at the screen instead.2 -
I want to start a rant thread, imagine yourself living in Syria, or south Africa, or a gang run neighbourhood in South America... What would your rant be..
FUCK
the well where we get our water just got shat on by the Town drunk
Now I have to walk 5 km instead of 2.. My kid sister needs water today or she might die...
.. And! Siri just gave me the wrong fucking directions
FUCK apple
(Not real apples, cuz.. I'm hungry)7 -
So I'm pretty sure that when I went all in to Apple's Siri shitfest and turned on "Hey, Siri" that I had to accept some kind of privacy notice or some shit. Essentially, being an iPhone user and turning on that service, I've agreed to allow them to listen to me.
But what about the guy who sits next to me? Are his rights to privacy being infringed because my phone can also hear him? If so, who is the one infringing? Me or Apple?
Apple is just an example, but imagine if someone has an Echo in an office or a Google Home. Or what if you're unknowingly standing next to someone with a Google or Apple device that's always listening?
I know my old Android phone had picked up people at the grocery store before. I never turned on "Ok Google" but I used the speech to text of the keyboard a few times. When people showed how you could go see what Google had "heard", I was surprised to find how many OTHER people it picked up.
Anyway, just some thinking. -
As soon as curiosity sets in we’re searching on Google or asking our trusted friend Siri for the answer. In the 21st century, it isn’t about how much knowledge you have, but whether you know how to search quickly for the accurate information.
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Getting back to the cpp applet I started somewhat recently (Vanilla + Gentoo kernel version checker)...
Me: "debugging c plus plus code"
Dictation: "f***ing c++ code"
...
Well, it's not too far off. -
Waiting for the day when amazon Alexa would talk to google duplex and Siri trying to get into the convo. 😋😉😉2
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Google Assistant in iPhone? Seriously? In the opposite way Siri should be introduced to android phones else I would be unable to understand this business decision!6
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What's the best natural language processing software that won't f you up?
I'm a big fan of Alexa's capabilities but we all know that Alexa is to security what North Korea is to democracy.
Is there any software that can compete with powerhouses that are Alexa, Google home, Siri or cortana?4 -
Windows => MacOS
Edge => Safari
taskbar => dock
File Explorer => Finder
Cortana => Siri
start menu => launcher
Control panel => system preferences
Notepad => Text Edit
Task manager => Activity monitor
Visual Studio => Xcode
command prompt => terminal
paint => preview
Disk Management => Disk Utility
Action center => Notification Center
everything is one app. just the name is the difference14 -
Two Chinese characters spoke Chinese in Silicon Valley, but their accents are pretty much the same as Siri on my phone.... lol
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installing macos was a mistake. breaking all the builds and now I need to reinstall all the tools which will force me to update the code .2
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Thank you. Amazon and Apple. Because of you no parents would now name thier kids as Alexa and Siri.2
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Offence taking Siri. :)
"I heard what you said about the new macbook. You're grounded." deletes 4 apps. -
Siri, remind me to write a new rant in 1 hour and 20 minutes.
So I can keep my stress down and increase my productivity, and maybe become a devRant++ member.
Am I addicted?1 -
when I heard someone using google translation,it reminded me of a shocking and sad fact.
One day I passed through a friend's room and heard "I love you" , "I really love you"...I am curious as to why his room makes this sound?Oh,it turned out that he is using google translation....
If I have enough money,I will go with a siri back.
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Dude in my Calc 2 class just bitched about iPhones having "shitty software" referencing that bug from around ~6 years ago, when a specific iMessage text would reboot your phone. IMO, 99% of what Apple does well is software. UI is subjective, but final cut pro is unbelievable in terms of functionality for its price, their software is so well optimized that iPhones have been able to use comparably tiny batteries and still compete. They are consistent throughout their company with software design, while companies like Google are so stratified it took years before their material design had been implemented in all their services, there are still a few that aren't (not to mention the meme of Google killing off all their projects). I hate tablets, but the iPad pro has the best software/hardware implementation of any I've ever seen. Apple's interconnectivity between devices is unbelievable, whether it's Continuity features or the setup process just recognizing group devices around and pulling data to create consistent account info and saving you taps. Siri is shit, but apart from that their software isn't bad enough that you should complain about that instead of...
Their Macs are fucking pressure-cookers, and their fuckin marketing department is like a different company all-together, and their anti-fix-it-yourself policies are so user hostile that they're toe-to-toe with being as abusive to customers as Oracle.
TL;DR the biggest scam Apple has pulled off is not that the sheep still think Android and PC users are living in 2010, but they've convinced the sheep that they know what shitty software is. At that point they're too many levels deep and there is no red-pill strong enough for them.2 -
I love cortana, but it isn't officially supported on my phone due to region limits.
My question is, what Personal Assistant do you recommend?
I have looked into Ok Google, but that doesn't work on PC...
Siri just is a general nogo (see OS'es section)
Requirements:
- allow reminders
- allow quickly searching for something
- allow quickly opening an app (phone, PC is also nice)
OS'es:
- Windows 10
- Linux Ubuntu
- Android 86 -
... okay then.
Like I was just lazy to go pick up my chocolate I put totally away..
what’s up Siri though ?
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Does anyone actually rely on voice assistants? I.e. would they be missed if they went away? I’m leaving out cases where they are absolutely necessary for accessibility purposes.6
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Asked Siri to "call my wife" but did it in an accent that obviously made it sound like "call _me_ wife".1
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So anyone think this Viv app (demoed in TechCrunch) is going to be a hit, when Siri and Alexa failed?2
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I can't wait for the release of Snips Air sometime in 2019 so that I can stop using my Google home. It's not even the privacy concern that bugs me, it's the stupid shit like alarm management. To preface, I've had a Google home since late last year and since I got it the alarms have been nothing but trouble. More than half the time when I ask it when my next alarm is, it will respond with "You have an alarm for Friday at 7pm that is going off right now" (At the time of this response it was Tuesday). Then snoozing sometimes just doesn't work, I told it to snooze for 10 minutes, it worked just fine. Then today I made the mistake of asking it to snooze a second time which responded with "Sure, snoozing for 5 minutes", I wake up 45 minutes later, and ask "Hey Google, when's my next alarm?", it responds "You have an alarm today for 7:00 snoozed until 7:15". I have an exam today so luckily I didn't sleep in too late but againg this isn't the first occurence. To prevent this I normally just have a backup alarm on my phone and the one on my phone will wake me up in case something happens. On top of that though I've had rarer cases where it will delete all my alarms and I'll have to go command by command reminding of each alarm. That's just alarms though, I also have it control several IoT devices, and me having to use IFTTT requires the utmost precision in my phrasing otherwise it won't understand ( although this issue is mainly due to how the assistant service trigger on IFTTT is configured ). It still does much better than Siri ( at least my home can set alarms unlike my mac ), I have yet to try Alexa though. Of course my last problem is the hotword, saying "Hey Google" is much better than "Ok Google" but it's still excessive when I have to repeat it for each individual command. This is why I'm so excited for snips air, a set of devices that look pretty great, hackable, and as a bonus much more private that the current options. I realize that I could get a dev kit or set up snips on a pi but the dev kit isn't exactly visually appealing and I doubt I could get something that looks or functions half decent on the pi.1
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I’m learning Japanese with Duolingo, so I enabled the keyboards in iOS. However I am not far enough along to know how to type what I need and the layout looks like it’s based on a 10 key phone. So for now I speak “おはよう” and have Siri do the writing.6
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atleast I will nt feel alone any more because of a crapy siri and all time fear of crashing the machine will keep me focused on work more
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How many of us consider assitance like siri, google assistance as a real project? I found really few in numbers4
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I'm working on a custom voice assistant and I'm wondering what wake word(alexa ,siri, hey google, jarvis, computer, etc.) would you use?13
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I swear by all that is binary when I see Siri I’m going to curb stomp that skank. She single handedly makes me want to toss my iPhone X (which is heavy) into an Apple store window then pick it up to ask for assistance with a representative. I hate having to say “hey Siri!” just so she can take her sweet ass time to answer me. When I speak she fucking deaf and misinterprets what I say 80% of the time. English is my native language. I have to talk like a robot for her to get me. Alexa I’ve noticed works faster and more accurate. Siri take note!1
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Just imagine Alexa, Google Assistant, Siri, and Cortana talking to each other. What will they talk about? and How good the conversation would be?5
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Google just fucked Apple so hard by extending Assistant to iOS! Now let's see wether Siri visits Android 😝! I think it was more arousing than porn, "pun intended" 😂 ...
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While i am an iPhone user.
Siri you have to catch up to google. I feel iOS itself needs to catch up. Apple where is your innovation -
!ios
Just Happy..
Jailbroken iPhone X
!! Disclaimer !!
I‘m not the Dev of this Jailbreak nor am I an Professional these are the steps that worked for me best.
Oh and, Jailbreaking will result in losing your Warranty. Don‘t do it if you don‘t know what you are doing!
Don‘t work with the official one?
Coolstar asked ignition.fun to host their Developer Account needed one.
The Website will have Ads, but they didn‘t change one Line in the JB itself. So no ads on the Device itself.
1. Go to ignition.fun in Safari (No Computer needed)
2. Click on Electra MP
3. Download it
4. Verify the Profile
5. Turn Off Siri
6. Turn on Airplane Mode
7. Restart your iDevice
8. Check if Airplane Mode is still on
9. Open Electra App and Press the Jailbreak Button (iPhone will restart)
10. Cydia Icon will be shown (If not -> Check Step 5. and 6. and then Start from 7.)
11. Open Electra again and click „Enable Jailbreak“
12. (I think Device will respring) You can now use Cydia
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