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Search - "bah"
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If programming languages where weapons...
1. C is an M1 Garand standard issue rifle, old but reliable.
2. C++ is a set of nunchuks, powerful and impressive when wielded but takes many years of pain to master and often you probably wish you were using something else.
3. Perl is a molotov cocktail, it was probably useful once, but few people use it
4. Java is a belt fed 240G automatic weapon where sometimes the belt has rounds, sometimes it doesn’t, and when it doesn’t during firing you get an NullPointerException, the gun explodes and you die.
5. Scala is a variant of the 240G Java, except the training manual is written in an incomprehensible dialect which many suspect is just gibberish.
6. JavaScript is a sword without a hilt.
7. Go is the custom made “if err != nil” starter pistol and after each shot you must check to make sure it actually shot. Also it shoots tabs instead of blanks.
8. Rust is a 3d printed gun. It may work some day.
9. bash is a cursed hammer, when wielded everything looks like a nail, especially your thumb.
10. Python is the “v2/v3” double barrel shotgun, only one barrel will shoot at a time, and you never end up shooting the recommended one. Also I probably should have used a line tool to draw that.
11. Ruby is a ruby encrusted sword, it is usually only used because of how shiny it is.
12. PHP is a hose, you usually plug one end into a car exhaust, and the other you stick in through a window and then you sit in the car and turn the engine on.
13. Mathematica is a low earth orbit projectile cannon, it could probably do amazing things if only anyone could actually afford one.
14. C# is a powerful laser rifle strapped to a donkey, when taken off the donkey the laser doesn’t seem to work as well.
15. Prolog is an AI weapon, you tell it what to do, which it does but then it also builds some terminators to go back in time and kill your mom
All credits go to Vicky from damnet.com5 -
A software engineer was smoking...
A lady nearby asked him: "Can't you read the warnings? Smoking is injurous to health!"
He replied: "We are bothered only about errors, not warnings!"6 -
Boss: Hey squares, I need one of you to select a new volume control, if you spot anything let me know.
Me: Say no more2 -
Fuck recruiters! I told them i want to work in a bigger company and my JS are not the best.
I just drove a freaking hour to a company who wants a diehard JS'er and exists of 4! People.
Assholes!7 -
Suddenly it hits me.
It’s 01:20 here but i get it.
It’s ALL a budget thing.
No dedicated tester means less expenses.
No personal parkspot?
No expenses!
And no good staging or testing environment? Less expenses!
Meanwhile every developer can setup, work on, and maintain about 20 websites on their shitty local Windows machine, that doesn’t even have a proper SSD installed, and we are setting impossible deadlines to figure out who will sink and who will swim.
Ow, here is a SSD.. Figure out the installation yourself because we have no IT knowledge or budget for people that do.
You want a challenge? How about 40 other people that are distracting you all day long.
Meanwhile everybody has to improve their skills in js, react, html5, ccs3, angular, .net and razor so money can made faster.
It would be nice if you could build apps as well.
You had a question? Sorry, no time. Expect some feedback 14 days later.
You finished the site?
Great!
But here are 101 bugs to solve before next week.
All hail their crazy company!2 -
Goes to first job interview. Great interview but, can you send some code?
-Sure-
Sends requested js, css html files.
Great code, we want to speak to you again!
Goes to second interview, waits 15m, meets the sales department. Sales? Wtf?
Great interview but, can you send more code?
Errr?
We need some native JS to really make sure you can write code.
You could've emailed this request before the interview b*tch. That way id save time hurrying in rain and traffic jams!4 -
Clearing the cache.
Tried clearing cms cache
Tried restarting iis
Tried browsing incognito
Tried deleting browser cache...
WHY U STILL SHOW OLD CSS?!?!22 -
Architect of this building is so stupid. The toilet lights are triggered by movement. But they are not hanging in the toilet itself. Im wiping my ass with my flashlight on now…9
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It's always fun to compare webdesign to car sales.
Client: We want a car with 2 doors.
We: Here is you car with 2 doors.
Client: Why does the car only have 2 doors? This is very limiting and i think 4 doors work way better.
We: Okay fine, here is a car with 4 doors.
Client: Could you please check on the brakes, i think there is something wrong but i don't know what.
We: Ok we checked the brakes and they are working ok. So here is you car with working brakes and 4 doors.
Client: Why didn't you check on the exhaust? The car is generating big black clouds now...
It's never enough7 -
Having a look through my .bashrc, apparently forgot about this.
Thank you bong smoking, fortune telling cow.2 -
I fucking love noise cancelling headphone. Not just to block the noise but also to dive elbows deep into focus mode with code.
That is until your partner sneeks up to you on the side you don’t see.
I’m not kidding i just had a fucking heart attack guys!9 -
The other day we had a little celebration because a website went live.
It’s weird
Somehow it’s easy to spent €100 on celebration food and drinks but it’s hard to sign a €90 paper and allow me to upgrade my computer just a tiny bit.4 -
After 9 months of my course that involved much fear, anxiety and depression, last night I had a great moment.
Learning about scrapers for my dissertation - watched 10 minutes of a tutorial video then thought of an idea and went away and an hour later had built a little program to read a restaurants menu on their website then read back what they had in the form of a poem - all in a language I hadn't used before that night.
The reason I learnt coding was that I idolised the idea of thinking of a problem and then just solving it with your own code. Last night was the first time I felt like I might be getting there.
:).
p.s. Sorry this isn't very ranty.2 -
Just had my first demo here. The resolution of the screen was set at 150% screwing more up then i hoped for.
I didn't dare to show the iPad version. I had seen enough bugs in those 10 minutes.
Don't put this developer in the center of attention. Please.2 -
1. Keep your rythm: 7/8 hours of sleep each day and DON'T take your work home. Unless you have your own business ofcourse. Still: don't wear yourself out!
2. Put on music. Me personally like fast punk when i'm struggling with a deadline. Makes you want to go faster.
3. Close ALL communication like chats, mail etc. Hell i even thought of a sign "do not disturb"
4. Coffee. Lot's of coffee
5. Use a time tracking method like pomodoro5 -
Working for a company that hasn’t fully implemented git yet.
Servers are a freaking mess.
.old
.bak
Very-very-old
Backup8 -
Im working on a big project with a coworker that is working remotely. Basically we chat and call every day.
Today he is in the office.
Comes in, doesn’t even look or say hi.
Nice working with you pal.2 -
Client came in this morning. Not even angry about the results so far even though deadline was a month ago. It's good to see a client as passionate about his product as this one1
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Fucking idiot lead dev who’s 10 years younger then me doesnt know fucking respect. Dumbass comes with every new framework there is:
- ow we should try abc.js
One week later
- now we should totally get in def.js. It’s soooo much better then abc.js!
Screwing up projects, asking for an extra pair of eyes and then asking wtf is this code.
Im out of here if we’re hiring toddlers for lead developers because they are willing to work 50 hours a week. I better get that raise soon.3 -
I used to write HTML line by line.
and then someone showed me emmet.
life has never been the same since.4 -
Nifty little fan, first time it's been hot enough to warrant opening it and I'm pleasantly surprised.6
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So, 5/10 minutes of discussion about a class i need in the code. This was with the backender.
Ofcourse the designer hears this, joins the discussion and causes another 10minutes of explaining that a photo is different then a video...
Meanwhile i took a piss and got coffee because i’m fucking tired of these discusseion. You’re a designer, why care about code other people write. Go draw something1 -
Being 25 and just now getting employable dev etc skills is really quite daunting when you learn of the old geniuses like Bill Joy, Linus, Wozniak and then hear daily stories of 16 year olds doing amazing things.
Inexperience in a field where everyone demands experience is scary. Still excited to see where I Can l can get though.11 -
I've been staffed on a old ongoing project, first day.
0. Compatibility has to be guaranteed down till IE9... ppf.
1. Front end made in XHTML+JS(jQuery)... bah, ok.
2. XHTML+JS is actually generated by PHP5.4, not a line is actually statically served... beh, funny, ok.
3. PHP files are the output of an XSLT transform of a bunch of XMLs... meh, seriously? Oooook.
4. XMLs are the product of the serialisation of a truck of stateful JavaEE6 DTOs populated magically (undocumented) with data coming from a SQL DB... WTF mode!!!
5. Session logics lives within PHP-land at point 2, front end makes ajax calls here that propagates to another WS out of our control that triggers -somehow- (undocumented) our Java backend at point 4 to generate new XMLs and then reach front end again. Kill me now.
Boss: look... it's too slow for the client, it's too heavy on our servers: fix it. Ah, and we sold 85% test coverage by October. You're the man for the job. (I'm a Node.js fullstacker and right now there's not even a testing scaffold, ofc).
Me: prod is on Linux or Windows?
Boss: RHEL7.
Me: rm -rf / as root. Done.
Boss: I know I know...
Me: ...
I think time has come...6 -
Just had the shittiest job interview ever. Had to do two tests. And since i was nervous as fuck and can't do proper JS i obviously failed!10
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So yesterday i solved 7 tickets on my own for this project while the teammate was "testing".
Solved nothing and checked fb or new everytime i took a look at his screen.
Can comeone please fire this guy?1 -
Working as a new employee: no wifi. No work. 10 new tools to get familiair with. 41 new people to get to know. No workstation. No desk. No signed contract.
So far so good.4 -
So i had the second talk with this company today. The backend developer somehow expected me to know all four benefits of jQuery. What the hell dude?
Nobody knows everything.
I’m not a big fan of jQuery period.9 -
Yeah i applied for a job once without much js experience. I got invited for an interview and a couple of tests. The interview went well. I think the cognitive test wasn’t bad either.
However they wanted to see funky js shit i hadn’t ever done or see before and also was totally useless skill wise.
I asked if i could google answers (who doesn’t in their daily script job?) but i wasn’t.
I tried for like 5 or 10 minutes and then blurted out to the major CTO super tech savy master degree microsoft-o-worthy, that my js skills weren’t up for the task.
He gave me a couple of links to pdf’s with programming basics teached at a high school. Totally cool and understanding.
I walked away ashamed and probably red as a tomato. Excused myself for wasting his time and left as quickly as possible.5 -
Started a new job a month ago. I’m the only real frontend developer here. I come from a company with 10+. Now i’m working with a old ux guy. Mr. UX teached me the usage of a styleguide. This styleguide is a fucking mess. The legacy code is a fucking mess. They way of working, up for improvement.
I have a dream...4 -
Why does every designer has to be a complete asshole? Wtf is up with them? You take a day on your fucking design, i implement your fucking design, and then when you see it, you want it completely different again.1
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99 IT recruiters on the phone, 99 IT recruiters.
Take one down and pass it around, 99 IT recruiters on the phone.3 -
They hired a new person to come and help put with the project. This guy graduated a freaking year ago. Common guys wtf?!
Saying he is a full stack developer but unable to get a database running :’)4 -
Every night around midnight my internet turns to shit, ping jumps to 1000ms ... Lasts for a few hours.
Only tech support available at that time is cheapest call center in Bombay
"Okay please sir I am running the tests now please. Nothing is wrong sir from my end"
"Oh? What's the latency from your end to my modem?"
".... Sir I am runnings the tests..."
Bah! It's whack...5 -
I was in a meeting with the designer, the backend guys and a marketing person this morning. They talk about a frontender like i’m not even here.
I have a job interview this week so hopefully this will soon indeed be the case.1 -
I drink a lot and of water so I always have two glasses by my bedside -
A full one in case I get thirsty and an empty one in case I don't... -
Company is celebrating new awards. Whole dev team basically says fuck you we have better things todo and isn’t attending for champagne.
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I was just in a meeting. Making notes on my phone. Appearently coworker thought i was on FB or something and asked if i could focus. I was just making notes?!
He felt pretty stupid :) -
When you're using any Android or Windows phone and passerby asks "Is that an iPhone? That looks like an iPhone".
😒4 -
If i can make all buttons on the website manageble.
Haha just asking for 300 changes in a single issue. Wtf -
Setting up a local website here takes a couple of hours at least. Worst case scenario is 2 or 3 days.
I have to do it in 30m and the pc didn’t even had IIS or Sql Server studio.3 -
Putting your screen vertical for coding, who does it? I never tried but am curious so maybe i should10
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So i already worked 40 hours this week and i have still 8 more hours to go.
Made a shift from 08:30 till 23:30 and wannabe lead had the guts to tell me i could work from home.
Maybe it's not a bad idea to leave the office.
And fucking quit1 -
Last week: "let's build this page this way!"
Me: styles page
One day later: "no, that's build the wrong way, let's build it this other way!"
-_-' -
Always nice to hear colleages say: great work on this website. Really neat.
Two days later: yeah, i gathered some feedback for the site…
*beware, pile of shit comments incoming*1 -
We had some PR’s this morning. Colleage rewrote an app. Restructured everything. Broke some things. Not a single comment and merged to master.
I get questions like: WhY dO yOu PuT a BuTtOnPrEsS aNd A mOuSeCliCk HeRe?
FOR ACCESSIBILITY ASSHOLE!!! SOMETHING YOU OBVIOUSLY NEVER HEARD OF!!!4 -
So far i've been asked at least three times this week if i like it here.
I consider this a disadvantage...7 -
I find it so frustrating that i have to do my frontend coding in the same sprint the designer is working out what i’m suppose to create.
This isn’t working people!
I have got jackshit to do because all i can do is wait for the design but mr. Designer is pixelfucking his ass off.
Seriously, i’m working here for a couple of months but already looking around for vacancies.1 -
I can't decide on a linux distro because all I've tried are great. Seriously.
I'd call myself a novice-to-intermediate linux user (heavy on the novice part) and since I work as a web developer it's been a great learning experience to use the same OS on my workstation as the webservers my projects run on. (Ie I started out with Ubuntu and a LAMP setup).
The thing is I distrohop ad infinitum... Feels like I've tried out every desktop environment known to mankind (I just can't stop myself when I see a new one or a new take on an old one) and I've dipped my toes in Arch territory to. Loved Antergos when that still was a thing. Found EndeavourOS this weekend, kernel panic ensued. I'm a noob with sudo and that's never a good thing. 😆 (Try out in a virtual machine first you say? Bah. Where's the fun in that?!)
So now I'm on Linux Mint w Cinnamon because why not. (Because it's sluggish and boring, that's why...) I had to just get something up and running quickly so I could get back to work. 😬
But one day in and I'm realising I actually miss GNOME. And Ubuntu feels like home. I would feel much cooler using Arch but honestly I don't think I can be trusted with it. I love tinkering with settings, look and feel and whatnot but I can honestly do that just as well in an Ubuntu/GNOME environment.
Maybe Pop!_OS... could be something for me. 😏20 -
It annoys me when restaurants provide an online form for reservations, put in their disclaimer that "no reservation = no table", but when you make the reservation things go wrong.
For starters: their infrastructure not working on weekends (while they are open on weekends), them doing manual instead of automatic validation of a reservation, them not even knowing how to manage their own reservation system (which gives me the idea that they purchased some random reservation software).
I ended end having to call them about my reservation, they had a confused voice at the phone while they were navigating their own reservation software and ended up saying "Yeah ok table is booked, bye". I understand they're stressed out but come on, I don't think this is a modern nor graceful process. If you're boasting about having a reservation form, then at least live up to it. It reminds me of another restaurant where I had made a reservation online and when I got there, they told me "Next time book by phone please, we're not used to our software". For *********** sake.
Bah.1 -
Why do recruiters keep thinking they can contact me 5 months after i last spoke to them? Look at me LinkedIn. I have a job!2
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So, i helped solving 168 bugs for this website. Ofcourse, doubting every step since i'm still new here. Yesterday there was a meeting with the directors. Appearently they where happy a graded the site with a 8.5.
I finished my education with a 6. Not taking credit for any of the above...4 -
!dev
I have this urge to get better at coding and software architecture and design. But fuck me if I'm not lazy about it.
All these crazy good books and lectures and here I am, doing jackshit to improve. Can't even finish my own personal projects. Bah.
I know how I'm supposed to go about it, how to keep engaged in a cycle of personal betterment. I lack self-discipline to do it though... Tried meditation for a time, but haven't really stuck to it. Currently trying to follow stoics (Seneca, Marcus Aurelius and some others), but the mindset is not so easy to adopt, and the practical philosophies even harder.
Oh well. Life is hard. Blah-blah-blah. Thanks for reading. Just wanted to vent, really.8 -
This guy... starts at 11. Ends at 16:00... And i’m supposed to work with him while my day is 9-17. No communication whatsoever. Great. Fucking great. Im boring my brains out meanwhile.1
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When devRant take a minute to load any page on your main optic fiber connection, and speed test says that everything is fine....😤
UNACCEPTABLE!!!!!
bah at least the 4G works properly 😧1 -
I'm wondering if recruiters are just as irritating everywhere or that this is just the shitty situation we have in the Netherlands.
I was once called by an unknown number and heard a typical recruiter story. Since i never heard of or spoke to this person i kindly asked where he'd get my information from. Since mr, Recruiter didn't answer and just kept selling his great position i hung up.
He called back.
I picked up the phone again and he told me there were connection issues. I once again asked where he found my number. And again he just acted like he didnt hear me and sells his great position.
Hangs up and blocks the number. Go f(...) yourself damn recruiter!7 -
Appearently on of my coworkers is working while having a day off. Boss answered the chat with the request to shut the pc because he’s off today :)
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I told myself for 18 months things like; ‘im being here, working here, and i like it here’.
Also when others left, nothing could break my confidence.
Present moment i’m happy to leave this place. This madhouse. This stressed out place where everybody keeps licking clients asses. Fuck this shit, i’m much better off elsewhere!
I am dreaming of leaving this company while the building burns. Or just before leaving, throwing my pc to pieces.
I wish i could scream: FUCK *company name*!!! -
Just writing this because i’m stressed as fuck and i’m currently having my second sleepless night in a row...
Like i mentioned earlier i have 4 projects on my name. Two are on a real tight deadline, the other two are smaller, more support like issues.
Last week i got asked basically to get about 20 storypoints done in two hours by my Scrum master. Ehh no. Impossible. Wish i could do magic...
Yesterday i had to make a quick hotfix between the two bigger projects. Tried to reject this but had to do this any way. (It was basically the clients fault/content)
Also, f’d it up because there are current changes that are ready for deploy but haven’t been approved yet.
Do i get a f’ckin email this morning about how the progress wasn’t followed and the git permissions aren’t right.
You fucking twat! If i i did have ANY freaking minute in my planning to actually take the time for this damn hotfix this didn’t happen any way! You’re fucking restrictions only make things harder you goddamn motherfucking morron!8 -
Lead developer about Project X:
“Focus on responsiveness. That will probably take you the rest of the week”
The next day:
“Focus on functionality Y”
MAKE UP THAT MIND FFS?!2 -
Every time i got fired. So thats 6. At least in the past ten years. Every time i saw colleages get fired. So double that. Every 10nth job interview i went to. Maybe i should say i doubt my dev future every single fucking day.5
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Started this day great with the mention that a coworkers contract isn’t suspended.
In August?
Thats in freaking 6 months. Workload is already fucking insane, and STILL you fucking decide to fucking fire another fucking person from YOUR fucking company.
This has been the 5th i think and my contract is due to July. If it is prolonged i’m thinking of screwing this company over my going away myself. Bunch of mother fucking idiots.
Ended the day great as well.
Heard that a new person is going for lead promotion. Haha.
He has been here for only two months. :,)
Left and right projects are exploding meanwhile i’m in the middle trying to cut the right wire! -
Another fun thing. This morning one of the first mails i read was a issue about a bug in our software.
This was a bug i mentioned months ago but there was nog evidence where i searched like mails chats or tickets.
If people would just listen to me this bug was solved months ago but back then i got a reaction like: "works over here" while i tested it on two different instances with buggy results each time. -
I first realised I wanted to be a developer, when my older brother told me about The Net (movie) with Sandra Bullock. He told me about the pi sign in the bottom right corner, and all I wanted to do was to make websites with secret sections that only I knew about.
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Don't be afraid to make mistakes. Making mistakes is the only way to learn from them and grow. F*ck sh*t up and build it back up again but better. Fall seven times stand up 8!
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Coworker and dev lead had a discussion about newsletter implementation last friday.
I told them, i’ve tried the setup before, it’s not gonna work, it’s behind an ip-block and they need a backend person.
Lead was convinced it was possible and started drawing stuff.
End result: wasn’t possible.
People really need to start listening around here... -
I have seen a developer implement lots and lots of breakpoints. For basically every pixel resolution a new one. Yes, it’s literally pixel perfect. No it isn’t maintainable in any way
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Developing a clothing shop and being bored. Adding clients like Napoleon Bonaparte with the comment that this person is missing a hand.
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Recruiters have gone fucking mad! They are offering me a job in Brussels haha, this is at least a two hour drive away!!
Unless this job comes with a personal helicopter service, hell no!4 -
So stress is back on. Justed wanted to work. Computer crashed.
Deadlines with Windows 10 isn’t a good combo. Booting takes between 15 and 30 minutes ofcourse. Site needs to go live monday.
Joy...5 -
I had a half our discussion the other day with a projectmanager about the menu. He wanted to have both inpage anchor links as well as normal links in the main navigation. I found it completely stupid and didn’t get why you would want this. It’s totally unexpected behaviour from a users perspective and tried for 30 minutes to convince him of his stupidity.
Afterwards i gave in, sure, i’ll make it your stupid way. The actual pages that are there now won’t be visible anymore but if this is what you reallllllly want: sure.
Yesterday he came with a remark: the pages that used to be there can’t be reached anymore.
Always trust your developer -
Bah! I am sure computers know when you are in a rush. Without fail my computer will run as fast as a snail riding backwards on a turtle every time I am in a rush!3
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Client breaks website and i’m the one trying to fix things. For two unplanned hours i’ve been trying to help and instead of a thank you i get a thanks for nothing message. I’m not responding to this client next time. Fuckn bitch2
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Without any proper JS knowledge careeroptions are very limited... and i won't be able to pay my rent without a job :/3
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Rejections flying left and right and i’m getting tired of it. I’m already applying for a month and have been to 10 companies, made multiple assignments but it’s the same fucking story every single time.
Time for a goddamn careerswitch. Maybe riding a bus or a truck or so. -
hey devs, quick question:
does rust support branchless conditionnals and jump tables, and if yes where to look for syntax?
i found no example for branchless so far and jump tables are scary in rust (and i need a library to use them, it seems).
inb4 "why in the hell/ what possible use those have?!":
i use branchless to make a looping array and jump tables whenever there's more than 4 if statements with equal probability, and the deciding factor is a numeric value, so quite often.27 -
Was struggling today with some form elements and asked a coworker for help. Coworker start interupting immediately and doesn’t listen to any explaining at all. After trying to get a couple of points a cross he suddenly says: ok, i’m gonna let you finish your sentence...
Thanks twat! Next time show at least a bit of respect and start with that!1 -
I got my evaluation today. First time in a year that i had a talk longer 30 minutes. 1,5 hours was a bit too much maybe. After an hour i just wanted to get over with it.
Verdict: average
Meanwhile i could’ve improved my project... -
Updated my Linkedin status last weekend. The recruiter hell is already starting. Everybody wants a piece of me.1
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Last week i had a talk with my boss. Actually he more had a talk with me. Why i wasn’t able to finish my work the sprint before. I told him i had to run not one, but two project at the same time and on top of that had to show a new coworker around.
Some how i keep thinking about quitting this shit.1 -
Crawling around in a legacy project. Need to rewrite 500 lines of SCSS, to regular CSS. Fuck it. Runs compiler, beautifier and copy paste that shit.4
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Friday end of work - select shut down and update, thinking PC would do those things.
My morning so far:2 -
We are not interested in your skills right now, but is it ok if we keep your details to maybe contact you in the future?
8/9 never hear ever from then again.
1/9 so i wasn’t good enough for you back then, and now that i have a job i am? Go f* yourself!1 -
So, i started at this company about 4 months ago. So far i mostly worked in existing project and legacy code.
We started a new project for a pretty big client, and i'm the one who's responsible for setting the project up. The last two days i've been struggling with database issues. Finally got the site running locally about an hour ago.
And now i am running into troubles because i don't know how to set up a project yet since i only worked in existing projects.
Great. Can't say i'm not challenged here! -
lel just noticed a pattern here:
if someone asks newbie questions on devrant about anything - gets shat on
but if that person asks about react - its all roses and rainbows
i say there's a new cult in town and theyre recruiting!11 -
So I had this Google account for all of clients social, hosting, etc.
Out of the blue client wants access to these accounts.
Unfortunately I had not logged into these accounts in a long time.
Now when I try to login Google is not sending 2f texts to my registered number, even the give code over call option is not working, my number is recieving texts and calls, so it's not a network issue.
To top it all off due to numerous attempts it won't let me try other options and my recovery email recieved security alert of the said attempts with no option of actually specifying it was a legitimate attempt.
Fuck this overly protective attempt at security and fuck the guy who thought it was a good idea to send emails about attempts but not including any option to actually do something about it.6 -
Working on a bug that in my opinion never worked. “Sr. Dev” dares to say the function has worked before. I’m a 100% sure it never did.
“Yes but everything is being tested before we go live.”
Dude, we have a monkey testing our stuff are you serious!?3 -
Used to work tech support at a school.
The sheer amount of people that would come from buildings away to ask for help with the mouse or keyboard not working was weird. The annoying part, most have probably guessed, was that it was always just unplugged. Teacher's did this too. -
I asked the designer if he had ideas on the hover or active states of the buttons. He came with a pretty flashy codepen: “Maybe something like this?”
I tried making the thing myself. It was pretty complicated since it had a background/foreground etc so i tried a couple of things with :before :after but to no avail. I gave up and decided to give it another try the next morning.
Next morning i started to copy paste the existing code from the codepen.
Quickly i discovered what a pile of shit was send to me. This button had twice as much lines then needed and above all; it wasn’t scalable at all.
I reworked the code removed everything i didn’t need and now have decent animating button. Which is flashing the eyes out of the visitors. But hey, it’s flashy!!2 -
The procedure of introducing new coworkers here is still not clear to me.
I hear a new person is introduced behind me, so i thought i had to shake a new hand soon. But no.
I probably get an impersonal email in about a week when he/she has been working here for 4 days. -
Back in the day when daily standups where still physical, i worked at a place you had to pay a euro if you where late. This money would then be used to buy the team dinner on pizza nights for example. Ofcourse everything changed with the daily standups being digital now.
How would you still implement somekind of correction for people being late unnecessary?3 -
Jesus so help me god. I just come here to rant about this FUCKING API PLATFORM. It uses doctrine, i set annotations, YET IT FUCKING KEEPS PUSHING the IRI's. IRI FOR IRITANT. What a fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck system. Bah bah... lost 2 hours because of this SHIT!
Ok, that helps. THANK YOU!6 -
Because i had some problems on sites in the past that were iOS specific i configured one of the leftover Macs here as a test device. A week later this laptop has been kidnapped and until now it is gone. I can start installing everything again on a new one because one of the fellow workers here is stupid as fuck
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This is getting kind of annoying now. Everytime i am planned for a (small) project, there is less to no briefing and nobody has a clue what to do.
Then how the hell am i supposed to?2 -
Always interested in computers, started taking stuff apart, eventually found Linux, fell in love with that a bit and through command line learnt more.
Now finished a comp sci MSc and about to start a job. All I in know is there is a huge amount more to learn before I feel competent and confident. Excited about that though. -
I was promised a new pc with SSD in 2017. I got my own slow but complete pc back in 2018.
The progress is stunning in this company! -
I have no specialty, I’m a total generalist. Frameworks and buzzword tech is only useful to me if it makes it easier to code without extraneous syntax, or if I need to know it for the job! Recruiters hate hearing this, they want someone who lives, eats and breathes react.js! They want someone with PASSION for easier (or harder due to shit design) ways to do easy things bc ITS FUTURE! React separates true developers from code monkeys! You never heard of Deno? Serverless NOSQL? BAH! Back to your cave, you bickering caveman! MY DIVINE RECRUITINESS DEEMETH THEE UNWORTHY FOUL WORM6
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Since i hard problems with a slow harddrive i've been asking for a SSD. It took 6 weeks for a SSD to arrive.
It has been laying on my desk for another 4, because busy projects etc.
Last friday i decided to install it. I have to do everything about the install myself. No IT support nothing.
I've been trying to install windows on the SSD For over a day now. And now im fucking done with it. FUCK THIS SHIT. FUCK THE SSD. FUCK THE FUCKING PROJECT AND FUCK THE FUCKING CLIENT. Goddamn morons around here.3 -
Trust me dude I can totally code but only alone and not with others around where no one can see me. Where no one can see me 🤥 Is there a Sunkist machine on the floor with my office? I'm the new senior developpah! Develll-opp-bah! Senyyyyawwww! Devel0PPA!🤪🙃
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Coworker during standup this morning: yeah i couldn't work saturday on the project because of VPN problems but i'll stay longer today.
Scrum master goes home.
Coworker, literally 8:10 hours later. Goes home.
He bugfixed another project for an hour and told me i had to work on this project instead of helping another client.
Meanwhile he's bragging about all the experience he has and telling he wants to be the lead dev.
I thought he started early but nope. First drank coffee for another 15 minutes.2 -
Yeah he was officially free today but he still managed to come a couple of hours. Fucking asshole go fix your fucking code damn idiot. This whole site is broken. Thanx mr wannabe a leaddev. Hope you crash with your damn racecar2
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Yes and we recently opened a new office in Amsterdam. Because because from Amsterdam only want to do business with people from Amsterdam.
Well great. You think i want to go over there? My company has an office in Switserland. And the previous one in Curacao. I got here because i can bike or even walk this distance if i wanted.3 -
So i had a challenge with a js slider and i wanted my coworker to think along. I was trying to explain my problem and the steps taken so far but, as always, he wants to interrupt me after to sentences. He somehow always thinks he knows things better.
Dude let me first explain my shit before you start working on your solution. This is pure disrespect asshole! -
Fucking hell my insights are late ones...
So I am working with fluid dynamics simulation. I went home fired up the laptop and started the calculations. This is how the events went:
9 PM: starting the calculation
10 PM: checking on the graphs to see whether everything will be alright if I leave it running. Then went to sleep.
2 AM: Waking up in shock, that I forgot to turn on autosave after every time step. Then reassured myself that this is only a test and I won't need the previous results anyway.
5 AM: waking up, everything seems to be fine. I pause the calculation hibernate the laptop and went to work.
6:40 AM on my way to the front door a stray thought struck into my mind... What if it lost contact with the licence server, while entering hibernated state. Bah never mind... It will establish a new connection when I switch it back on.
6.45 AM Switching on the laptop. Two error messages greet me.
1. Lost contact with license server.
2. Abnormal exit.
Looking on the tray the paused simulation is gone. Since I didn't enabled autosave, I have to start it all over again. Well. Lesson learned I guess. Too bad it cost 8 hours of CPU time.2 -
For the past days i’ve mentioned that i need a backender to create me an extra page in the solution. No attention was given. Backenders where too busy. Today we started a new sprint and i got asked what i’m gonna do.
I told them for the fourth time, i need backend work done to continue.
I got pissed.
Backender got pissed.
And in the end nothing will be done for this cause.
Fucking great.
Fuck my life.
Fuck these people.1 -
Im done here with the discussions about the capabilities of a senior person. They are looking for a senior frontender and everything being said makes me feel less welcome by the day. Being a frontender myself.
Mark my words: they are looking for a replacement and i’m fired this summer.3 -
So we’re in a completely bugge stage of the repo and ofcourse the client goes: we want this and that functionality live today. And i can’t say no so now i have to figure out if this is a smart thing to do. I guess its not
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When I first got Linux, then fell in love with diving through the system on the command line. Then I also realised I finally had the confidence to learn what I wanted, instead of what was advised to me.
Still in no way confident with programming, but I'm getting there. -
IE11 is my fucking enemy lately. We’re trying to keep up with the latest techniques here so we gave CSS Grid a try. Only works partially in IE11 but still important since our old users still use it and it’s responsibe for 5% of all income.2
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Are there other developers who have a version displayed in their test site? We have it now but as a FE i really dislike everything in my viewport that isnt needed or possible to find elsewhere. Feels like the oldschool commercial popup now being red and obvious.1
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After a big part of the day spending in Angular i decided to do something else. I went studying a bit on how to increase conversion. Partially because this was the main goal of the webdev team in the coming months. The UX designer saw it and told me if he where me he would study more code and scripting.
Like dude. Wtf. Im doing this for 1 in the 8 working hours. Get off my back asshole.1 -
Don't you just love that moment when you see shit,
Flying.
In a bow.
Through the air.
And actually just starting, just starting, to hit the fan.
Three days before your deadline.
And it is crystal clear the project is gonna end up as a mess.
Total disaster.
But the best thing of all: it's not your fault.
So, you are actually celebrating the mess to come a little, and know that you can blame the guy who isn't trusting you as a new guy, and show him, with all his more years experience, he is the one who can't be trusted.1 -
Got a call by a recruiter for a function i already applied at and already got rejected as well.
That was a very fast call! -
Lol. Because there aren’t backend resources available, frontenders are now implementing Backend functionalitiet with JS. -_-‘3
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Wow! My rights to merge work is just revoked. This is fucking bullshit. Whenever i want to merge my work the project lead has to do it. And when he’s sick ill have to go to the fe lead, who is in meetings 24/7. Fucking great2
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So, the wanna be lead FE dev came in late this morning. I asked him if everything worked out with his home. Turned out he didn't have an appointment for his home.
He decided to see a friend for breakfast.
Now... This guy is is going through a tough time with a girl but still... wtf. At least tell your coworkers about something like this. Just made up an excuse "for personal reasons".
No he just stays away and nobody knows how what or why. Like... wtf?
Anyway, he's here now. Surfing tech sites as usual. Instead of working on the project in Jira.
And ofcourse project won't be done by the end of the day
*sight*3 -
Im browsing to webdeveloper vacancies all day today. Appearently every company thinks they are working with or on state-of-the-art technology. This term is raped and abused for sure!2
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So ive been on this project for months. Project lead did not have a role anymore and now they decide this other guy is the new project lead. This while i am the one having to deploy everything and answer questions from mr Free Lance.
Holy crap i gotta find myself a new job, these people are going nuts. -
So i had two jobinterviews at a company and i was basically through for a test. It just so happens that the person who should give the test is sick for a couple of weeks. So instead they asked me to send them some code to evaluate.
Today i got an email telling me that the level of my code doesn’t match my years of experience so the process stops here.
Somehow i can’t help myself but to wish that the guy who evaluated my code now just is sick for at least
another moth!
Funfact: in one of the interviews i was told that they don’t work with junior people. I personally think everyones view on jobtitle/rank is different so i’m not a big fan of it in any case.
However this company LITERALLY has a blog describing how they hired someone without any working experience and thus being a junior.
Guess i’ll be stuck in my current deadend job for a while.1 -
Let’s start the week great with a scrum master complaining about a functionality that isn’t working, and a coworker that’s pointing in my direction.
Go point your finger elsewhere (***)3 -
I’ve always hated the pixel fucking part in a webdev project. It’s the most frustrating becausing it’s partly about optinions.
I like the pixels better over there
I want this coler greener
Can we make this animation more cool?
Now imagine pixel fucking in 16 devices and 200 resolutions...3 -
This guy! I have a week off and he decides to rewrite the videos and video popups in this site.
He made it all so general that every video is loaded in every page AND auto plays.
Whenever a user is visiting his or her orders it plays all thos videos simulteously while not showing any video.
This guy.... -
My previous employer halted my interest in CSS preprocessors for years, so I was so excited to get started using Sass this year.
But the excitement was short-lived. The limitations and weird adaptations leaves me with grey hairs frowning faces.
Bah.5 -
January is always the month of feedback and reflection. I dont mind going to the office x times a week and standing still on the highway every day. But if they are asking me to spend my own time on a course now they can lick my balls. Im already working for two years without a raise. Ik not continuing like this. I understand everyone needs to improve but if im exhausted at the end of the day by all the buzz in the office i dont have energy left for additional schooling. Im learning on the job. Deal with it1
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Hey 10 new tickets for me today. Hey all 10 are Backend. I feel like i know sh*t. Let's just not do this and be bored instead.
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We have a nerf gun in the office here and i'm at the point that whenever i here a click, there is a *duck, hide and roll* part of me triggered. I just saw a guy opening a soda can when i noticed this1
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Just received an email from a company i applied while searching for a new job. They sended me this little assigment to show my skills since they had the feeling i couldnt show them much.
(they browsed through 3 of my websites while i was there, including a check on the code)
It was a simple layout assigment. Just a responsive page with a hamburger menu (also mentioned during this interview)
It took me a couple of hours to create it and ive send it back in the hope of some positive feedback.
Feedback: assignment was pretty good but it show a lack of php experience. I was clearly more on the .NET side.
....
I just sended html, css and js files as requested. HOW THE F* DO YOU COME TO THIS CONCLUSION?!?!
Damn idiots, im glad i found people that actually do know how to hire people!2 -
Couple of years ago i was working on a custom webshop with a third party designer and a manager. The manager didnt do his job right in my eyes. Didn't have overview of the tasks and was way too busy/lazy/stressed whatever.
Eventually i could go figure things out with the designer myself because he wanted some crazy menu structure.
So crazy i knew for sure that the usability wouldn't come to good.
Eventually deadline was past due and the projectmanager got me fired.
While back the brand i made the shop for went bankrupt.
What comes around gets around eventually.2 -
today i had to teach a friend of mine that:
"we don't negotiate with the terrorists from artistic department".
plot twist: i am the artistic department:p1 -
I was in a meeting the other day which started with a introducing of the members and a basic explanation about scrum.
The meeting ended with the note form the client that the project was absolutely not allowed to cost more then X.
After the meeting a coworker asked who explained scrum to the client. And it was explained twice by two different people. -
I was already done with the company that couldn't make up their mind about JS. I got a mail:
They're stopping the procedure because they're looking for someone that also enjoys coding in their spare time. In other words: work 80 hours a week. -
When you want to ask your colleague a question and he everything he says is max speed and stressed as hell:
everythingisjustreallysimplejustclickclickclickydyclikandyouaredonesir.
Owandwhatyoudidntknowiworkonwindowastheonlyonebutthatshouldntreallybeaproblemyadybladieyaetcetera
...but but i knew halfway already where his answer was going and still he continues instead of having an actual conversation it’s waaaay better to talk as much as possible in the shortest amount of time.1 -
Contractmeeting in 1,5 hour. Its either permanent or i'm 'kicked out'. Option two would be the 4th time already. Whatever the outcome, i'll be ok!3
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Director walked in asking about the new homepage which we’re currently running an A/B test for. This page has been made and discussed by her direct colleague, the general director.
While walking though the page together with my colleage the designer the encounter a broken link.
Easy to fix ofcourse, and so we did, but shortly after he went back to hos room my colleage got an email asking who was responsible for this mistake.
It’s not one person. In first instance it’s our 6 headed web team. But after we deliver it multiple people test the page, and also the company who creates the A/B test sees tests and confirms.
This all happened during my holidays, but still i feel also responsible.
Couple of tiny mistakes, and still nobody in this whole process notices.
(At least 10 persons)
HOW THE HELL is that possible?!3 -
Im getting stalked so much by recruiters right now! Im ignoring a call every 10 minutes and writing back on mail/linkedin ever 15. Fuck offff! Please!
Im collecting all names, mails and numbers and maybe i’ll just fucking mass mail them all haha. And after that sign them up for freaking midgetporn muahahaha -
So im new here and trying to find my way. There is one colleague who's been sick for a couple of days and just came back.
Note on the appearence of this person: big, tattooed bearded, but im not scared easily ;)
Trying to introduce myself: "Hi, let's shake hands: i'm [name]"
Colleague: "Are you sure about that?"
Yeah. Great week with awkard interactions so far!4 -
So, i have that assignment about docker stuff. nifty piece of software i must say.
anyways im installing docker software on windows bc im thinking if i have something that gives me at least the correct structure and some skeletal syntax i will have a faster grasp of the thing. expecting some sort of high level ide but end up instead with what looks like a blank window, with the only obvious choice being sign into some bullshit i dont need. but thats another story
my point is:
when installing the thing it prompted me to install WSL2. which i supposedly am not supposed to have because my cpu doesnt support intel virtualisation. but being impatient (thats why i came to look for an assisted solution), i pursued the installation.
lo and behold: i end up with a shell prompt at the root of a linux filesystem!
i ran 2 or 3 muscle-memory commands and closed the prompt, i was in docker stuff up to the neck.
later on, when i go back to my project, in a virtual machine its sluggish af and screams at me that amd-v is not supported because of something something nested pages (will look up later how that one works).
dont have time to explore it some more yet, and especially experiment or even barely look at this glorious mess because i have something barely working and no time to have it fail.
but this story definitely left me perplexed.
and also : you can run WSL2 on an fx83508 -
So i had the jobinterview this morning. I got the question what my current team looks like.
Yes well, i am the team because i’m the only frontend developer here.2 -
So there is this project from hell that ive been working on for 6 months...
We have won an award for it. First reaction when i heard it was nominated was: Do you think i’m happy with this? This project has taken blood sweat and tears goddammit.
But today the actual piece of glass came in. I can’t help but to feel proud. -
So we have a demo tomorrow and it looks like i’m going to have to do it all on my own. Thats a first. I can already get a client frustrated whenever they are on the phone.2
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If i could estimate a schema issue. I looked at this site once in my time here. Don’t know shit about schema’s.
Estimating haha.
Im not asking you an estimate for example building a rocket. Right?
I don’t know this shit. -
Coworker is trying to make me look bad by posting a piece of code in the group chat...
Nobody reacts.
Winning1 -
Week before this i had to assign a task for a mailing to a coworker of mine. So i handed him the documentation (partly on paper).
He finished his part and now i need to continue the works.
I asked him the documentation. He told me he shredded it and threw it away. Thanks coworker. You are being useless like never before.1 -
So I’m the frontend developer in this company. I am the one with 10 years of experience when it comes to html, css and js.
How can it be then that I’m not invited to frontend meetings?
I checked the meetings colleages have and came across a excel sheet. My name is mentioned about 10 times in this sheet. Which was what the meeting was about. However I am not a part of this? Wtf?2 -
Dissertation is about dark net markets, was proposed as a research project but I decided to make some scrapers to add in a programming aspect.
Unsurprisingly dark net markets are a bitch to scrape.
At least I'm learning stuff :p. -
Guess who is running teo projects at the same time. F’d up planning over here. Seriously i’m bothered by 5 people at the same time. How the heck am i supposed to work like this?
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The last ten days i’ve been working on some animations for this website. Basic stuff but when you make elements move on scroll, people go wild.
The designer had a big opinion on this ofcourse.
So big she hád to scroll through the page herself.
So, multiple times a day, for the past two weeks she came over, checked animations, and gave a bit feedback on what could be improved.
She never mentioned the labels that where only appearing on scroll. Everything was just fine after 9 days.
However on day #10 i got a bug that the labels had to be appearing “just after loading the page”.
Like what?! Are people to dumb to scroll 2mm on a page? Damn ho. Wtf do you mean with “just after loading the page”. 1sec? 2sec? 10sec?1 -
Stayed for the hack-a-ton last night. Had so much fun! And everybody actually came up with a working product in a couple of hours. Amazing :).
Too bad the initiator of the whole thing went home early. Doesn't really show interest. -
Yay, starting a new job this wednesday! Really stoked! But, will ofcourse also let the option open for this global organization which will interview me tomorrow. To be honest with you: i don't feel worthy enough working for this big multinational thats active in 75 countries.
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Yesterday we got the news that another contract is ended. I’m almost looking forward to mine. I guess i’m next this summer. And on to job #6
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Im put on this project.. But i don’t feel taken seriously.
Lead dev says: go make some html templates. Meanwhile, he is building the exact same thing in the cms.
Right, so what is my work worth then? Nothing -
Applied to 4 companies last weekend. One of them didnt even have proper working contact forms (they all gave somekind of 503 error).
I even took the effort to just mail them my resumé, do i receive an answer that they are looking for someone with React experience.
I looked over the function a second time, no mention of React anywhere.
To whoever is working over there or ever going to work over there; i already feel sorry for you. -
I’m already put on “support” for days if not weeks now and i’m tired of it. Give me a concrete project instead of the usual bucket of shit please!
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My planning says i’m working on project A and B this week. Scrummaster (who also makes the planning) says i’m working on project C and D.
So much for the reliability of planning here. -
Couple of days ago i heard that the wannaB lead is going to leave us. I asked here if anyone could please fire the guy and... They actually kinda fired him...
The guy has serious skills but didn't live up to his promises.
I wonder who's next... -
So, we should be done with the redesign project for this site and a while back we got feedback from the client.
Now getting feedback isn't a bad thing, until you get 6 pages of feedback.
6 pages of feedback. It took me several hours to plow through it and check everything.
That was three weeks ago. They now want me to check the entire fucking list again, and then some more.
SERIOUSLY?!
When i started hete i was told that this was one of the easiest clients the company had. Because they see us as the experts. Haha.
Appearently not anymore.2 -
Finally the site is live. Today all stress was gone again. Still a pity that i have 7 pull requests out of 10.
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Heyho...
I tried a solution found on github to export my mails from Protonmail (it's ofc deprecated but should work... not for me 😂). Got some errors, fixed them, new errors... 🤔 None of the reported ones btw...
https://github.com/scastiel/...
The import/export app is in beta and not available for the public.
The bridge thing is still for paid users and not for linux.
IMAP is for paid users, too... bah...
Is there another way? 😢
... forwarding multiple mails at once would be nice...1 -
If havent post a rant in a while since i started a new job a month ago. It is a pretty chill company. Not sure if that’s because i’m working remote and almost don’t have communications or…
I have to work on this project. Appearently from 2018. It’s all php and Wordpress here. I don’t have major deal against it but this project..
I have flushed down prettier things then this piece of shit code. My god. And this is live. The horror! -
Nothing to do. No fucking work here and im not hired for BE. Fucking BE doesn't do shit and im here like ZzZzZz. New job interview next thursday. Screw this shit!2
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Wondering: What does define a BIG project for you?
I just noticed we're approaching the deadline and there are at least 6000 lines of css. Not my personal biggest so far in terms of lines. I think i worked on projects with 10.000 lines9 -
There is a hack-a-ton here till 23:00. The new guy i am i was thinking of staying and see where i can help...
Last couple of days i've been working on a project (my first real one yay) and at first i got lots of help to get me started.
Right now im completely stuck and everybody is busy here. No help anymore. Fml
The weather is hell atm here in Holland so, even thought i don't feel like staying anymore i think i still stay, and see if i can learn something new.1 -
This week started of so great...
Monday the client called if we can put the project live this week. Impossible since we’re already stressed out with a tight schedule .
“But what if we put more developers on the project?”
NO!
Now im busy with one of the latest pages and ofcourse the designer has a special opinion about the usability.
Asked second opinion by lead developer.
“Its all wrong and thats a learning point. So just do it like this and that”
Resulting in fucking responsive problems i already foresee.
I’m so screwed -
First dev project? In Holland we had a social media site back in the day called CU2. You could put in your own html/css and style your profile the way you wanted.
For professional work it was a landingpage for a healthcare related page. -
Designer wanted to help me making a certain part of the new layout responsive. After about 1.5 hours of struggling with a CodePen he comes back to me and says: yeah i can’t i would set it up in a totally different way.
Two weeks before that he suggested that i would rebuild it in this exact way. -
So on friday i got a super speed course on how to develop a new styleguide in Angular with Storybook. Superspeed because fellow dev went on vacation for a week. Today is monday and i forgot everything i need to know.
This is gonna be a difficult week :/2 -
Also the designer: lets change every basic style this site has. Refactor the fonts, the colors and all sections.
Sure, great idea to totally fuck up this site! -
Paycheck currently isn't compensating the current workload anymore.
I feel like we are missing 10 couple of hands while only three people are on vacation1 -
So, a new coworker started here about two months ago. He's all about talking but the actions aren't very fast.
I looked at my Pull Request and this guy is writing comments for 5. Where the hell did he get the balls from? Seriously!
Please stand next to the designer so i can slap both of you bitches. -
That was jobinterview #1. Where actually more looking for someone with design experience. Ow well, didn't click anyway. The recruiter could've known this :/1
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Another crazy project. Just 2 pages but only 3 days to build it. And everything is custom and needs adjustments from our standard. I’m stressed as fuck!1
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And here I am. All alone. Struggling with Angular. Not getting any help. Not getting any further. *sigh*4
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I can not emphasize enough as a webdeveloper how totally stunning the Apple website is. It’s at least just as amazing as their products and it doesn’t even cost any money for us to browse it and get inspired by it. Really top notch gorgeous pixels. *drool*4
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IE Edge is supposed to be the browser to hate as a dev. However over here for my new temporary PC it isnt installed at all. Windows 10 WTF?! I need this shitty browser for test purposes1
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We are getting a lot of questions about the performance of one of our site. An external bureau sended over a document with every little lighthouse point to improve. Im ok with that but if i turn that into a 3 page document with my own findings and a manager says: i dont get it maybe you should start reading the document because you clearly didn’t.
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This is the 4th day at my new job. Just got a call from Unilever. Im invited for a second interview there. First world problems of a developer. What job to choose :/
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Damn it! I just spent an hour debugging something and it was due to a copy-paste error.
Copy paste hell. Bah. -
Jeej first project. Read: 101 FE bugs to fix. In code i've never seen before. With bare minimum support. Though day. First steps with Gulp are set. yay1
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Why? Why would someone choose to wrap a hr in a container and a section. And save that in hr.php? Seriously php is so full of crap. Just add your spacing to the css this is nuts!5
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Is it just me, or are there more frontend developers that feel they are solving more bugs then actually creating pages?
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So, last week i finalized the conditions for a new contract but as of yet i haven’t seen an actual contract yet. I’m a bit worrying now if i’m ever gonna see a new contract or that this is just another company that is fully bullshitting me. Although, if they are they why go through the effort they already took?1
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alrite devs, hardmode:
i have an obfuscation algo that cannot be defeated even by quantum computing (like infinite parralelism if i got that one right [i mean understanding what is Qcompute])
how can i take advantage of it? (get phd/big money payroll/sell it)
it could be implemented as impossible to defeat ssh for instance26 -
We have a new official and probably for now final Lead Developer.
Asking questions like: What happens after is push code to bitbucket? -_-‘
Next time i’ll answer that the building will explode. -
Wanted to remove a underline from links that was seemly coming from a default cmd css.
Even with !important it wasn't working. Why? Why wasn't it just working?
30m later i found out i selected text-underline instead of decoration. -_-'
After 8 years i feel so stupid, i should just like i should apply at mcDonalds and just start flippin burgers... -
So, been working for almost 2 weeks now at the new job. Worked fairly much on one of their sites and today they have a meeting with the client regarding this site. Ofcourse now is the moment for this site to be f'd up. OFCOURSE!
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Create popout pages, all looks and works well...
Except in bastarding Internet bloody Explorer -
In IE if you use one particular dropdown list then everything moves slightly to the left... Why?
Why IE, why are you still even real? Why do Microsoft think you're worth maintaining?
Why have Microsoft given us two crap browsers instead of one normal one?
You're an utter waste of time, memory and money and I want you to go away. -
And i spoke to an old colleague who’s interested in the senior Frontend vacancy we have. So he had a tip that i told my direct colleagues about. “I expect a senior frontend developer to come with a lot more than that”. People need to lower their expectations. Seriously. Be. Fucking. Content. For. Once!1
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Job number 5. Also this contract is not suspended. I reslly starting to feel like doing a fucking careerswitch
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Talking over an assignment for an angular app a couple of months ago: responsiveness was not important and not a part of the scope. Its for internal use and nobody will do this on his phone.
Today the designer, next to me (on his iPad). With a look on his face like he sees water burning, why isn’t it responsive?2 -
When a job applicant on an assigment is asking me questions about the assigment i don’t have much hope for him/her... Maybe better next time
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As a not-freelancer, whats the amount of companies you worked for?
This was #4 and im beginning to doubt myself. Maybe i should do start some other career or something.2 -
How should i able to develop/solve bugs when there are multiple people testing and everybody has different opinions, or are looking at cached environments?!
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Aaaand yet another assignment that’s probably too technical for my monkey brains. I’ll just apply at the postoffice1
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Sat with the designer yesterday to look at the current state of the homepage and got 15 point to pick up.
Today i’m almost done, i asked him one question: got another 6 points to fix.
Fucking great. You could’ve mentioned this yesterday... -
I have to learn to work with this new cms. And me and a coworker have been struggling with custom faq templates. We told the lead dev multiple times we need help to get this to work.
Still no help.
Im gonna put this on him in the demo. -
If Wordpress gives you a blank screen of death. Do not check with your frontend developer what’s wrong. Your frontend developer does not have a clue since this is probably backend related3
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Also the designer: lets change every basic style this site has. Refactor the fonts, the colors and all sections.
Sure, great idea to totally fuck up this site! -
That moment when you are struggling for hours to get your validation working, and in the end it's just a name that had to be turned into an id -_-
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Aaaand going through recruiter hell again! Not even 1 hour later i already receveid 10 phonecalls.3
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Yes but you see this function everywhere so why is it so hard for us to implement?
Next time i’m gonna say that this function is everywhere, but why is it so difficult to design? -
It's almost a week later since i got the note i'm not welcome anymore soon in my current company.
After 6 days i figured out a reason other then: "the fe/be tranfer doesnt go well". I just don't want to blame be-guy because he was busy as hell with at least three projects at the same time.1 -
This person has never heard of the saying that there is no 'I' in team. He just focuses on the code not communicating whatsoever. F*CKtard
Meanwhile i'm trying to fix everything that broke down since yesterday 00:00.
Meanwhile other coworkers are also screaming their project is on fire...
should i quit?2 -
Last week was crazy. Major clients needed attention and we don’t have enough developers. How can someone not start to make mistakes.
Meanwhile mr manager runs off like he’s outta here and blaming us. Goddammit1 -
Back of two weeks holiday i have to readjust to being new in angular development again. The longer i work on this app the less overview i’m creating. I feel like throwing it all away and start over now.
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Do you know how epic coding sessions van become when you turn on classic radio on Spotify and LOTR comes along?
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If i’m having a hard day i tend to put on some relaxing music. Often acoustic or even just some meditation music.
If i notice i go crazy because of the chat i close it completely.
Also there are big 500ml cans of energy drinks here in the office that can come to good use -
Let's start the week fresh and reboot the PC with some updates. Also because of the while WannaCry drama.
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Ok after 10 minutes of 'waiting for profile service' i just pressed the button. Time is precious! -
doing an assignment.
me, thinking to myself: "why the heck everybody pastes over an nginx config when they want to script switching the autoindex on or off?
thats not linux at all you sed the fucker that's how its done...", feeling all smart
> type it
> test it
looking fine, as always. im born for this shit
> run it
>restart nginx
restart fails.
i check if i didnt sed any whitespaces, everything seems fine
>restart nginx
fail again.
look closer
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4 lines below intended target: "locatioff" lmfao3 -
Couple of new colleages started last year.
Working with the new Full stack dev: Your WP site is slow? Try this new shiny CMS and just start all over!
Working with the new designer:
Can you send me the assets? Can you send me the assets? Can you also send me asset A? Can you also send me asset B?
Working with the new project manager:
So is it correct that i’m planned in for five projects today?! -
Goddammit, newb here is busy in an old project of mine. I don’t have time for guidance and he’s just going to fuck things up now. Pretty sure about that.
Who will be the one cleaning up the mess next week?
Me!1 -
hey devs,
Today i stumbled on something that piqued my interest, but i couldnt find an answer on google:
intel is throttling MMX instructions on their newer CPU's.
my question is: why?
i didnt find either the response to that question nor even the acknowledgement of that fact, yet...
https://youtube.com/watch/...
(the interesting stuff starts at 8.30)16 -
Anybody else struggeling with the amount of work? Either it's crazy busy or crazy silent. What do you do in each case?2
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Scrolling numbers in Spotify on a iPad while i was listening on the other side of the office while rebooting phone etc.
Best i can do is sticking a stickynote under a mouse. Fun for 0,5 sec -
Since i started working at this company; 99% of all work was completely new for me. Every god damn time i’m being put on a project i’ve never seen before or worked on. This is so tiring and f’d up. Vacation period is on, we don’t have enough people and the people that are there are on vacation. What projectmanagement? Never heard of it. The actual project manager here is depending on the on developer who is able to keep a bit of an overview.
Can’t complain. I get paid right? And it’s a shithole everywhere. Right?
This is just temporary…. -
Typical discussion here between a fullstacker, frontender and designer: its this functionality, no its that functionality. But parents and childs. But javascript! No i want this to be this name. No that name is better. Im in the middle of this :(1