"your password must contain a capital letter, two numbers, a symbol, an inspiring message, CV, a gang sign, a dragon blood"

Me: so glad it's Friday!
Coworker: it's Wednesday...
Me: FUUUUCCKK. This is bullshit

PM: We need security on signup, the password entry should contain "A capital letter, 2 numbers, a symbol, an inspiring message, a spell, a gang sign, a hieroglyph and the blood of a virgin."
ME:

It's 2017, I've got a bird on my shoulder and a stressball on my desk, everything is alright.

( I should be working on that SQL statements I generated instead of writing them out right now)
Just one more thing
I ♥️ DevRant

Just finished reading this gem from start to end. It is over 20 years old and it is crazy how it is still up to date and applicable. Great work.

Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to introduce you to my latest employee, Dave the Duck! Dave is the new head of debugging and took the job to support his out-of-hand caffeine addiction and 72 children (of which paternity tests are still being done on 10). Dave is also wanted in 4 countries as the leader of the popular gang, known as the Dangerous Ducks. Please do no feed Dave, as he is on a strict diet. #DaveTheDuck #ProgrammersTools #ImNotThatCrazy

I really hate this company.

The code is a disaster. Every single other employee is a salesperson. Nobody has any bloody clue what I do or how difficult it is. They don't care about stability (unless things are crashing), maintenance (until crashing), code quality (until it delays features), or anything apart from shiny new features they can sell. The boss (the king salesman, if ever there was one) doesn't know how to manage, but tries to by acting like his "nice asshole" self -- he's an asshole that gives you passes, makes sure it's bloody obvious that he's doing it begrudgingly, yet everything is still absolutely your fault. If he arbitrarily decides it's too much your fault, he stops being "nice" and flips out on you in front of everyone. That's a "nice asshole": an asshole who can barely even pretend to be nice.

Fuck him.

And you know what? I really hate having to work next to these fucking birds, too.

Today was our weekly conference call, and I was both late and unprepared. I was too focused on my work, and got a ping 4 minutes into the meeting, so I obv didn't have time to prepare. Boss was also pissy today, and I didn't have much to show for my week, thanks to lots of little "OMG NEED ASAP" shit projects that all took too long, pushing back what I was actually supposed to work on. Which didn't get finished, of course, and today that project was "the most important" -- I suspect simply because it wasn't finished. AGADJFSKL. Cue the birds fucking screaming and never fucking shutting up no matter what I did. Blanket? No effect. Spray bottle? SCREAM MORE! Boss was yelling at me, the birds were screaming, and I couldn't think. Goddamn fucking disaster.

and yes, we have a macaw. A macaw and over 20 cockatiels. Said macaw decided today was a lovely day to just fucking SCREAM non-stop, and the tiels were doing their best to keep up. Thinking clearly during this cacophony? Not gonna happen.

Wait, "go elsewhere," you say? Somewhere quieter? Where is this "elsewhere?" We live in a fucking tiny house, and during the call it was (and still is) filled with sleeping people, and surrounded by a fucking desert. Who the fuck thought living in the desert was a good idea, anyway? Like, seriously. What brainless moron thought "You know what? This is a great place! Let's settle down right here," while trudging through the scorching sand and dust, looking at the basically lifeless horizon filled with large, hot, dry, dusty, barren rocks (aka "mountains"), and fucking dying from thirst? Probably someone so delirious from heatstroke they never actually recovered, and continued raving that it's a goddamn paradise to their heat-addled imbecile followers. I really hope they hallucinated a la-z-boy in place of a hedge of teddybear cholla and died an excruciating and prickly death. Fuck that guy/girl, too.

But I digress.

I seriously need an office that isn't a 30 min drive into gang-central. I'd work outside, but I live in the middle of the bloody fucking desert, and get heat exhaustion within about half an hour. Everywhere else in the house people bother me almost incessantly.

just. FUCKING FJASKLDFJGAG.
I HATE THIS PLACE SO SO SO MUCH.

'I've had such Zen lately,' Alex said. Maybe then, but lately? I've just been too exhausted and burned out from putting up with all this shit to get angry. Days like today? I could pour kerosene over everything and laugh as it all just burned to ash.

One of the morons said today that we should use C because you don't need to "apply logic" in Python. Everything is automated in python. Fucking morons............

It doesn't ends here. One of the "9 pointers gang" student raised an objection. I was happy untill he said that there is no boolean datatype in C. I literally shouted "Shut up, morons. There is a whole fucking library dedicated to it." in a class of 60 students.

Don't know how I survived 3 years here. And more importantly, don't know how will I survive my next year.

P.S.: the 9 pointer guy who raised the objection, once asked me whether chrome is developed and maintained by Google?

There should be a name for rants about fake stories. Like the ones you read and can smell some bs going on. I suggest frants.

Programming Design patterns part 1 :- remembering "The Gang of four..!"

Back in Hell, we had a “company summit” where everyone flew in for an all hands meeting.

It was three days long in a tiny office with very lacking air conditioning in the middle of a Las Vegas summer. Basically the entire thing was the CEO / goblin salesman king chewing at us and expounding about / proselytizing his latest and greatest sales ideas and how they’ll change the world. And randomly asking “which of you are HUNGRY?! Which of you want to be FILTHY FUCKING RICH?!” etc.

One good thing came out of it, which was that any and all new endeavors needed a “co-signer” and a sign off from development before we (developers, or more accurate: just me) would work on it. It reduced the growth rate of my backlog by like 80%, which was nice.

While dreading the “summit,” I hated him more than I had in quite awhile.

During the summit, I hated him more and even flipped him off.

After the summit, I swore to leave the revolting wreckage that was the company.

(And months later, I did just that —after becoming the sole dev and the only person holding the damned company afloat. When I gave him my two weeks’ notice, I absolutely relished his terror. And my time spent writing my 43 page no-sugarcoat handoff document that was guaranteed to scare off any hapless dev he might find. 😇)

But I digress, three 10-hour days with him and the rest of the sales team, the sleazy lawyer, the CTO who mentally checked out years ago, the yes-man contractor, and me. The only good thing that came out of that meeting was one good idea that he dismissed, and the sign off idea that saved my backlog a bit.

One of the sales people quit shortly thereafter. So it was a huge expense that wasted everyone’s time and added absolutely nothing of value to the company. GG!

Oh, it was also in the “totally better” office — meaning… cheaper, unfinished (literally plywood floors), and was one room in another company’s office, who often locked the door leading to their offices because they trusted him so much. But it was in downtown Las Vegas, with no parking at all, where gang members were hanging out almost every day, and it was next to low-income housing and weird no-service restaurants with shockingly high prices.

Weird and scary.
Very scary.

Totally carried pepper spray every time Mr. Goblin asshole forced me to go into the office. Didn’t get raped, though, or my laptop or car stolen. So that was nice.

Welcome to the gang you sticky little sticker. Im glad they made all the way to germany. Thx @dfox

After 3 years of working with Node.js, I have finally snapped

Node.js is cringe

I am .NET gang now

Can we make the devRant gang sign into a thing? Can it be a secret way of recognizing other devranters, say, at conferences? Please?

\||/_

Semicolon gang rise up

Anyone else get a little freaked out when someone tells you a website works BEST on IE?

What kind of cum gargling gerbil shelfer stores and transmits user passwords in plain text, as well as displays them in the clear, Everywhere!

This, alongside other numerous punishable by death, basic data and user handling flaws clearly indicate this fucking simpleton who is "more certified than you" clearly doesn't give a flying fuck about any kind of best practice that if the extra time was taken to implement, might not totally annihilate the company in lawsuits when several big companies gang up to shower rape us with lawsuits over data breaches.

Even better than that is the login fields don't even differentiate between uppercase or lowercase, I mean WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK DO YOU SELF RIGHTEOUS IGNORANT CUNTS THINK IS GOING TO HAPPEN IN THIS SCENARIO?

Guy I just met: so what do you do?

Me: I'm a developer

Guy: no way! I work for a software company so... (goes on to talk for 10 minutes trying to show off his knowledge of software)

Me: so what do you do there?

Guy: sales

Me: oh...

Just because you work for a software company does not mean you know shit about software. Don't try to build some erroneous common ground with me because you walked by a developer's desk one time, looked at his or her screen, and magically thought you could understand code.

Paycom is utter dogshit.

Clunky, error prone, junior mistakes on every page, and filled to the brim with HR doublespeak and legalese.

A roving gang of quadriplegic interns could do a better job if the requirements were written in cuneiform and they were paid, up front, in cocaine and whiskey.

@elazar wanted a hand reveal, so there you go. Remember the devRant gang sign like so:

I got a crap raise — lowest I’ve ever gotten anywhere, and well below inflation — despite busting my butt, having somewhat better health and therefore productivity, etc.

I complained to my boss about it, and said it was insulting. He said that direct managers have zero say in raises, and instead it’s entirely up to execs and HR. Makes sense, since nothing makes sense at this company.

Anyway, he apparently talked to his boss, who talked with his boss, who talked with the execs and HR, and they decided to give me a raise on my raise, a whole $1k/year more, all the way back up to the usual insultingly-low 3%. Yay.

Their reasoning?
“Money is tight.”

The last all-hands?
“Record profits! Record sales! Record numbers across the board! And most of all: record profits! Give yourselves a round of applause for making this all possible!”

Money is tight, eh?
I hope they get smushed by a meteor, given a snuggle-struggle by a roving Somali gang, or kept warm for the rest of their lives by another Hawaiian/Californian wildfire.

Supervisor: so you're going to write a perl script that will compile a jar that will be used to invoke a web service
Me: okay. What does the web service do?...
Supervisor: I'm not sure how it works. It'll just return a success or error code
Me: so I'm just going to invoke a black box?
Supervisor: that's a good way to think of it
Me: so how does the qa process work with this black box/how can we debug?
Supervisor: we don't have qa for it and we can't debug

What the fuck?!?!? You expect me to call a literal fucking black fucking box?!?! This isn't lambda calc you jabroni.

I'm not sure whether to cry or to burn everything to the ground.
I'm stuck in a rotten, over aged corporate that will one day choke on all the documents and formalism they require. Which is something I'm generally fine with. Each to their own.
But ever since I handed in my resignation they have been fucking me like I have never been gang raped before.
(A little context: I work for a midsize financial institute. Which at least in Germany are full of legacy projects and are regulated as all hell.)
So some fuckwits decided that since the regulator slapped us hard 2 years ago that we need to make up a new standard of documentation that has to be used for all IT-documentation there ever was and ever will be.
So the upper management (the before mention dumb-dumbs) choose some consultant company and locked them up together with the brightest stars (read biggest slime balls) of the IT department in an ivory tower and told them to pull some out the ass.
And one year later (early November last year) they got the shit they ordered. Gilden shit, only the most sparkly and non-sensical bullcrap you could imagine.
But they only looked at it and deemed it good. Now the guys actually in charge of the the applications got served the dish. And guess what they found out when started to dig into? Nothing but contradictions, non-final thoughts and all of that held together by web of retarded, unusable guidelines. But they ate it, they cursed but they swallowed forced by disciplinary punishments waiting should they misbehave.
The only one emerging fact was: All previous documentation was completely invalidated.
But now the mighty lords in the ivory tower guided by the never failing hand of the higher management had the greatest idea of them all. They needed someone to check all the documentation till the end of this year but since they blew all of their budget on useless wankers ( oh, ofc I meant "highly qualified external help") they now preyed on the lowest in the food chain. Which is where this story goes full circle and comes back to me.
I was the lowest rank on the food chain, a student that just handed in his resignation.
I was the first to be locked up in the basement, my co-student followed shortly after.
And now I'm going to spend my last 2 months looking at checklists that we had to pull out of the slime's ass and validating hundreds of thousands of pages of documentation. We get grinded up in the endless hate coming from the guys that we need to tease and are held in position by a wall of sheer idiocy on the side of the rule makers.
Today I cried when I had to tell someone that his magnificent documentation was not standard conform and had thus no longer any meaning or right to exist.
Thanks you for those that made it this far down. I hope you never have to feel my pain.

Any folks willing to join the GIT family in devrant...
Steps to join:
Change username with prefix "git" followed by your favorite available commands..
Example: gitpush(already taken and co-founder of this gang), gitpull

Java : He is the topper who is usually mocked, but still everyone seeks his help on the day before exams. He tops the class no matter where he is.

C : He was once the coolest guy in the class with all the new gadgets but now uses outdated gadgets.

C++ : The guy who comes 2nd and is also loved by everyone. He is very competitive.

R : She has everything readymade from food to tiffins.

JavaScript: Tries to be in the cool gang but she is someone to whom nobody talks.

CSS: The most beautiful girl in the class and a make-up expert. Also the only friend of JavaScript.

Python: She will soon top the class.

C# : Is she still part of the class!!?

@dfox can you please implement a gang feature? Someone assigns an hashtag to some people and everytime this hashtag is called, the team members get a notif.

Adittionally, maybe you could add gang stats (how many new rants, how many times the hastag was mentioned etc...)

Wanted to search something in my old code. Understood why people use comments.. :/

So I just had this job interview with a "startup" (side note: who the fuck still calls limping companies "startups" in 2024? That is sooooo 2010s).

There was this tattooed and very pale girl (you just know the vibe), the mandatory Norse bearded tall guy and the balding, "I'm-in-my-fifties-but-I-am-not-a-square, maaan" sleasy-looking white guy in a button up shirt but no suit jacket. The whole stereotypes gang came looking for their missing nerdy Indian.

The sleasy bloke goes on and on on a looong tirade on how they're "a tech innovation academy", how they "move fast and break things" and they "run smoking hot", so that "long nights are to be expected".
So, they usual red-flagging shit.

Then they all went on a "but we're not like all those companies that look exactly like us" word salad about "sustainability and a healthy work life balance", with their "highest value" being "the utmost respect at all times". I'm nodding my head at the meaningless splurge until they fart out the sentence "for example, cussing while talking with colleagues is a fireable offence".

If some hustling enterprise rather prefers a posh working environment, one can adapt to such circumstances. Provided, of course, that said enterprise adheres to the administrative coherence expected from a culturally refined institution. Mostly by compliance, from the leadership, to a rigidly predictable working schedule.

Now, if the bloody curs want coder dogs that work assfucking hours with a shit eating grin, they better swallow our fucking sailor mouths. Fuck, I've done twenty hour shifts getting my ass kicked in dark startup fisting/rush rooms. If unable to yell at any blabbering cocksucker to go stick his fucking opinions up the bitch who crapped him, then I ain't gonna bloody be there.

TL;DR they can either have a "utmost respect" working environment XOR a "fast and hot" daily hustle.

After they crapped out that oxymoron I could barely hold myself to avoid saying "sorry, I do not partake in any of the psychedelics you must be on".
On to the next interviews!

Can ppl stop bitching out about their ides not running smoothly with 8gb+ ram? I mean 8gb ram wise is enough, unless you have 20+ browser tabs open, watching some casual porn, downloading some more porn in the background and maybe running some benchmarks just for the sake of not letting your dollars go to waste...

Shoutout to the homies wihout a horrible father figure in their lives. Can't say I'm part of the gang

So first of all.. Fuck perl.. Actually, that's all I have to say

Supervisor has me making a web app in this badass new stack called the LAP (linux, apache, php) stack because he would he would like the app to be "simple". He's spot on though.. having a three letter acronym saves so much time.... and then we don't need to worry about a database... or querying.... or efficiency.... or even the web app itself because clearly he expects the fucking code gods to come down and turn this piece of shit web app into a fucking masterpiece if he thinks this shit can be done based on a hacked together file management system. Please save me code gods

Any one else has 100+ browser tabs open? I have problems, I know.

Time to swag up that laptop

Whiteboard interviews. Would say "my first whiteboard interviews", but I think they will always have the magic to make developers feel stupid.

Why devRant cats are overweight? 🤔

When I was in college OOP was emerging. A lot of the professors were against teaching it as the core. Some younger professors were adamant about it, and also Java fanatics. So after the bell rang, they'd sometimes teach people that wanted to learn it. I stayed after and the professor said that object oriented programming treated things like reality.

My first thought to this was hold up, modeling reality is hard and complicated, why would you want to add that to your programming that's utter madness.

Then he started with a ball example and how some balls in reality are blue, and they can have a bounce action we can express with a method.

My first thought was that this seems a very niche example. It has very little to do with any problems I have yet solved and I felt thinking about it this way would complicate my programs rather than make them simpler.

I looked around the at remnants of my classmates and saw several sitting forward, their eyes lit up and I felt like I was in a cult meeting where the head is trying to make everyone enamored of their personality. Except he wasn't selling himself, he was selling an idea.

I patiently waited it out, wanting there to be something of value in the after the bell lesson. Something I could use to better my own programming ability. It never came.

This same professor would tell us all to read and buy gang of four it would change our lives. It was an expensive hard cover book with a ribbon attached for a bookmark. It was made to look important. I didn't have much money in college but I gave it a shot I bought the book. I remember wrinkling my nose often, reading at it. Feeling like I was still being sold something. But where was the proof. It was all an argument from authority and I didn't think the argument was very good.

I left college thinking the whole thing was silly and would surely go away with time. And then it grew, and grew. It started to be impossible to avoid it. So I'd just use it when I had to and that became more and more often.

I began to doubt myself. Perhaps I was wrong, surely all these people using and loving this paradigm could not be wrong. I took on a 3 year project to dive deep into OOP later in my career. I was already intimately aware of OOP having to have done so much of it. But I caught up on all the latest ideas and practiced them for a the first year. I thought if OOP is so good I should be able to be more productive in years 2 and 3.

It was the most miserable I had ever been as a programmer. Everything took forever to do. There was boilerplate code everywhere. You didn't so much solve problems as stuff abstract ideas that had nothing to do with the problem everywhere and THEN code the actual part of the code that does a task. Even though I was working with an interpreted language they had added a need to compile, for dependency injection. What's next taking the benefit of dynamic typing and forcing typing into it? Oh I see they managed to do that too. At this point why not just use C or C++. It's going to do everything you wanted if you add compiling and typing and do it way faster at run time.

I talked to the client extensively about everything. We both agreed the project was untenable. We moved everything over another 3 years. His business is doing better than ever before now by several metrics. And I can be productive again. My self doubt was over. OOP is a complicated mess that drags down the software industry, little better than snake oil and full of empty promises. Unfortunately it is all some people know.

Now there is a functional movement, a data oriented movement, and things are looking a little brighter. However, no one seems to care for procedural. Functional and procedural are not that different. Functional just tries to put more constraints on the developer. Data oriented is also a lot more sensible, and again pretty close to procedural a lot of the time. It's just odd to me this need to separate from procedural at all. Procedural was very honest. If you're a bad programmer you make bad code. If you're a good programmer you make good code. It seems a lot of this was meant to enforce bad programmers to make good code. I'll tell you what I think though. I think that has never worked. It's just hidden it away in some abstraction and made identifying it harder. Much like the code methodologies themselves do to the code.

Now I'm left with a choice, keep my own business going to work on what I love, shift gears and do what I hate for more money, or pivot careers entirely. I decided after all this to go into data science because what you all are doing to the software industry sickens me. And that's my story. It's one that makes a lot of people defensive or even passive aggressive, to those people I say, try more things. At least then you can be less defensive about your opinion.

When you ask the frontend dev for like how to center horizontally and they link you 19 css tips and tricks articles.

I just want my big red "scum gang" button in the middle.

I still hang out with my friends that I have known since we're in elementary school. The whole gang just had dinner and beer at a pub last night. We usually hang out on Friday or Saturday night. Then sometimes on weekends at someone's place cooking meals, playing games etc.

I also hang out with my gf at least one day a week. The activities are *censored*.

Apart from that, the rest of my life is work life.

I won't say my life is very good but I can't say it's terrible. 🤔

Next generation programming language

Google Chrome, Visual Studio and Android studio are like a Gang on my machine.. they overtake however RAM is there

Dafuq... I might prefer other way around though

The ever increasing gang...

When you hack up some spaghetti code which works right off the bat and you don't even know why but you take it for granted anyways. Week later someone tells you that it's not working anymore and you have to find out why.

In Germany we have something called "Rundfunkbeitrag" (aka GEZ-Gebühr a long time ago).

The "Rundfunkbeitrag" is something that you have to pay for even if you don't own a TV, watch TV, listen to a radio station etc and consume ARD, ZDF and Deutschlandradios' radio services and online services (as in news sections for example).

That's pure scam.

The "Rundfunkbeitrag" is basically broadcast contribution.

Is there any country that is not forcing you to pay for something you don't own and/or consume?

I, for one, don't watch TV, never consume their services and don't listen to radio. There are better alternatives.

We, as a society, will even pay for the amount of air we breathe in and out in the future. That might sound like bullshit to you, but just take a look around yourself and face the reality for once. We get scammed from all sides, don't we?

How unlikely can that be to happen in the future?

We literally get gang banged with "GDPR", "Imprint", "Rundfunkbeitrag", "Media lies (rather subjective)" and other things in Germany.

---

Again, if there are better alternatives let me know.

I just can't stress enough how fascinated I am by biology and biochemistry.

I mean, we, who call ourselves engineers, are no more but a gang of toddlers having a blast with jumbo legos on Aunt Lucy's dining room carpet on a sunny Sunday afternoon. Our solutions using "modern tools" and "modern engineering" are mere attempts to *very* remotely mimic what beautiful and elegant solutions are around us and inside of each of us.

IC/EC engines, solar batteries, computers and quantum computers, spaceships and ISSes, AI/ML, ... What are they? just the means to leverage what's been created all around us to create something that either entertains us, encourages our laziness or helps us to look at the other absolutely fascinating engineering solutions surrounding us so we could try and "replicate" their working principles to further embrace our laziness and entertain us.

Just look at the humble muscle - a myofibril made out of actin and myosin. The design is soooo simple and spot on, so elegant and efficient, the "battery" and signalling system are so universal and efficient.

Look at all those engineering miracles, small and big. Look how they work, how they leverage both big and small to create holistic, simplistic and absolutely efficient mechanisms. And then come back to me, and tell me again that all these brilliant solutions came out of nothing just by an accident we call "evolution".

How blinded by our narcissism are we to claim that there can't be a grand designer of any kind, that there's nothing smarter than us and that the next best thing than us is an incomprehensible series of accidental mutations over an unimaginable amount of time?

I mean.. could it be that someone/something greater than us created us and everything around us? naaaah.. we are the crown jewel of this universe. Everything else must be either magic or an accident. /s

Don't read this as yet another crazy-about-God person's ramblings. I'm not into religion fwiw. But science has taught me enough critical thinking to question its merit. Look at it all as engineers. Which is more probable: that everything around us happened by an accident or that someone/something preceding us had a say in the design?

I don't know the current total number of daily active users and rants counts on devRant. But maybe it would be nice to have a group tagged/mentioned feature. Or something similar. Or subscription to a tag?

Like for example, when it comes to security and privacy and google-free-life all of us usually mentioned linuxxx and the gang. When it comes to server, if I'm not wrong Linux and electrical hardwares for Condor, etc.

But there might be (should be) other who should be mentioned and who would want to get mentioned as well.

Might be fun as well. All those Raven and clans can communicate easily with such feature.

Thoughts anyone? If I got positive responses here, I'll open a feature request on GitHub 🤔

To everybody who has Linux in his name: LETS MAKE A LINUX GANG.

Simply write your username below this post if you want to be in :P

💻 Happy Monday mother fuckers

* This post was sponsored by the "gone on holiday" gang

👋 HEY 👋
✋ DID YOU KNOW ❓
🕵️‍♀️USING EMOJIS IN YOUR 🅱LOG POST 👶
👼WILL MAKE YOU MORE PROFESSIONAL? 👩‍💻👩‍💻

🈹*this post was made by the emoji gang🈹

For all the linux weebs tired of the Windows v/s Linux debate,

how about <strike>arguing over</strike> <b>agreeing with the obviously true fact of</b> how "nano is the *best* command-line editor, better than the *obscure* ed or the *vague cryptic* vim"
:))))))))))))))))))

Thinkpad gang

Finally found a community/platform to open up and get out all pent-up thoughts or should I say deeds done in the tech field. LOL

TLDR;

When governments started printing money to cure new pandemic and crash current market with great inflation I took all my savings, got a loan and bought biggest property I could afford. Every major news station was talking about end of world, but this was not I was scared of. I was scared of the helicopter money that would wipe my 5 years old savings.

When I was about to sign loan papers to buy my first apartment I got an email that my contract will end in 3 months. I said ok, the contractor company will find me something else.

I asked and they assured me they will do it. After my contract end just before summer holidays there was silence from contracting company and then after 5 years of me earning them piles of money, after finished project and congratulations from customer they offered me most shitty job they had where people resign after a week. I said I don’t want to land in another shit hole bring it back to life for another 2-5 years and kill myself when they offer me same shit afterwards so I resigned.

It was so fucked up that even the boss from the client I was contracting asked me if I lost my job cause I finished all that they wanted. I said it’s not your fault man. I will be ok, but I wasn’t.

I had apartment I couldn’t move in cause I needed to renovate. Loan I needed to pay. Rented apartment, accountant and business that was loosing money cause I was without contract, the world was locked down and everyone was depressed.

I said ok, I still have some savings left so I I started looking for something new but market was dead. Everyone was gone for holidays after winter lockdown. I was burning money and trying to figure out what to do.

After 2 months of nothing, when I started thinking about finding some temporary job to not loose everything I worked for, things moved. I started attending hiring meetings and solving tests everyday, also from big four gang but I didn’t passed trough hr due to how they say I’m to independent and I need to look for consulting business or do something on my own.

People asked why I don’t do something on my own and I politely answered that I want to work there.

I was about to run out of money when I got a call that company is looking for me cause I was doing similar things they want to do. During interviews it was pleasant small talk about what id did over those years and what they want to do, 2 days later I joined small team. I barely managed to survive a month for a first paycheck.

Since then we created new product for a company. Now the person who hired me is leaving and I think I should also leave the ship and find other things to do.

Fucking telecom and their shady ways of providing "service". Don't even need to consider paying for porn sites when my isp comes along with its own, overpriced service to fuck a customer in every way possible.

Probably other providers as well, but for now I'm fucking pissed at them because they already scammed my grandmother twice, when it comes to internet speed, probably because they thought she wouldn't notice either way.

My grandmother's residence can receive up too 200mbps, so she got a plan according to that. Installation of the router was included as a one time fee.

This is where they first scammed her, imo. They installed a router, that can route 100mbps at max. At first I though she got a plan for that speed.
An elder telecom technician, who was investing a completely irrelevant issue, switched it out for one than can handle uo to 1tbps. He had no obligation to do so and he didn't charge anything.
Seriously, probs to that one guy. He openly stated that telecoms pulls off this scam and switched it for free, since they have many of routers lying around anyways (I wonder why 🤔🤔🤔)

Anyways, guy switched out the router and BAMM! from ~80mbps to ~170, iirc.

Fast forward a couple of months I notice internet speed is capped out at 76mpbs. Capped out way to perfectly, to just blame the cable. But obviously the guys over at customer support do exactly that.

Calls telecom: "yeah, your contact only goes up to 100, 76 because of the cable. You need to pay extra to get up to 176".

Excuse me, what the fuck did you just say, shit nugget? We should pay extra for something you contest from us?

Yo, Mister ChromosomOverflow, don't think that relaying the responsibility to another number to call will put you out of the fucking shit you tried to pull off.

Edit: The contract states up to 1000, 200 or 100mpbs download depending on what the cables allow and in case of 200 there's 100mbps upload, but we also get capped out there at 20. I wish these fucker one gang rape per non-received mpbs

Started a new job on Monday. STILL DON'T HAVE ACCESS TO THE FUCKING SERVERS I NEED TO ANYTHING. Holy fucking shit I'm annoyed. Fuck you corporate bullshit. I already feel like quitting.

Wanna be dev data scientist tried out vim... Took 2h for him to exit vim.

Firefox's Responsive Design Mode is shitty. After 2,3 refreshes, it just stops loading new changes. And hang like a drug overdosed whore who got continuous gang bang.

It just stops.

I have to turn it off and on again to be able to use it.

NODE CRYPTO YOU PUSS RIDDEN CANCEROUS CYST ON THE SWEATY BALLSACK OF THE INTERNET... fucking explain to me how every mother fucking module in node with require(‘crypto’) in it throws a hissy fit at runtime when I call only 1 file with it in it?! These packages that I’m not fucking using by the way but are nonetheless included by default in node are the ones having a meltdown.. and nodes answer?! Use the embedded functions. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!! If I didn’t need it Node could go and get gang raped by an angry pack of silverback gorillas. Fuuuuuuucccckkkkk yoouuuuu

"This MONDAY, you can have a day to yourself." (as the university is hosting something all day long)

> Finally can start this. Yayy!
(THE Gang of Four)

Below is a transcript from work Slack today. Only the names and some code are changed. It ended up causing a bit of drama. DevRanters, what do you take from this?

---

Delivery Lead:
Hey Gang. What's the blocker for FEATURE-123?

Dev1:
FEATURE-122 crashed on iOS app when viewing Feature Introduction page.

Teach Lead:
I've talked about this with Dev1 on a side channel.
And diagnosed the stack trace.
It looks like there is/was some bad handling of a List in the Feature Introduction view logic.
But this is confined to changes that Dev2 is still working on.
(It's not present in master)
Dev2, what's your current position on this?

Dev2:
I have tested at my end with Dev1 but it seems to be working fine

Tech Lead:
There is a race condition related to the use of someList.first()
My guess is that theres a Flow of those lists defined, with an initial value of emptyList
And that on your machine, that Flow is updating with a new value quickly enough that it doesn't matter.
But on Dev1's, for whatever reason, it doesn't get there in time, hits the empty list and falls over.
The logic that's performing the first() needs to gracefully handle empty lists as well.

Dev2:
Where is that logic called?

Tech Lead:
Here's the stack trace Dev1 provided in our conversation earlier:
Caused by: kotlin.NoSuchElementException: List is empty.
...
at 3 iosApp 0x00000000 kfun:kotlin.NoSuchElementException#<init>(kotlin.String?){} + 00
at 4 iosApp 0x0000000 kfun:kotlin.collections#first@kotlin.collections.List<0:0>(){0§<kotlin.Any?>}0:0 + 000
...
at 9 iosApp 0x0000000 kfun:kotlin.coroutines.native.internal.BaseContinuationImpl#resumeWith(kotlin.Result<kotlin.Any?>){} + 0000

This line:
kfun:kotlin.collections#first@kotlin.collections.List<0:0>()
...says that it's first() being called on an empty list.

Dev1:
FYI: Dev3/Dev4/myself are seeing the same issue with the same stack-trace above.

Tech Lead:
So Dev2, have you introduced such a call?
Because I checked master branch and there isn't one, in that version of the file.
Ok, I'll check your working branch Dev2
...
Yes you have here:
var processed1 = someList.first()
var processed2 = someList.first()
...
Lines 123, 124.
Solution looks really straightforward guys.

Dev2:
Okay, I will fix that and push the change

Tech Lead:
Check if someList is empty and allow for generating / handling null processedValues in the view.

Now; I'm going to be straight with you here.
This issue has been discussed over several hours today.
I expect that either one of you could have gone through the process I did in the last 10 minutes above, and resolved it in the same way :point_up:

Dev2:
I went on a break and it's not reproducible on my machine

Tech Lead:
I didn't reproduce it on mine either.

Dev1:
Dev2 and myself are now on sharing screen to sort this issue out. Hope to update back later.

Tech Lead:
<Screen shot of diff with changed code>
:point_up: That change should do it.

Dev2:
Already have pushed the change.

Tech Lead:
...just seen it, is good - same approach :ok_hand:
Dev1 please let us know when tested on your machine.

Dev1:
That does it. It fixes the issues. Thank you, Dev2. I will pick it off from here.

Tech Lead:
Glad to hear it guys.

Dev1:
I have to say this that it is not because we are not working on the issue - Dev2 and myself (together with Dev3/Dev4) have been on this issue all this morning. It just difficult to connect the dot when it wasn't reproducable on Dev2's machine. I brought the issue up because I wanted to switch to working on other tickets while waiting for this to resolve. Still thank you largely for Dev2's work and your keen eyes that spot and resolve the issue quickly.

Tech Lead:
Noted Dev1.
I think the take-away has to be to read the stack-trace carefully... don't worry - we've all been guilty of not reading the error in full, at some point.
The stack trace said that the 'first' element is being referenced from an empty list - that's just logically impossible, right?
Looking for that call to first, we saw it wasn't in the code before, and is after (two of them, in fact).
So then we ask ourselves, how can we deal with an empty list - and then solution almost presents itself.
It didn't really take reproduction of the error to resolve.
Maybe working with a new tech stack creates an anxiety that every issue faced will have a complex solution related to that stack; but I think you'll agree, this particular issue really just required a deep breath and your trusty 'debugging skills 101'... don't lose them! :smiling_face:

Man, i love drivin around @ nite, whole lotta gang shit happen and its so fun to jus sit in a car and watch people gettin popped

This started as an update to my cover story for my Linked In profile, but as I got into a groove writing it, it turned into something more, but I’m not really sure what exactly. It maybe gets a little preachy towards the end so I’m not sure if I want to use it on LI but I figure it might be appreciated here:

In my IT career of nearly 20 years, I have worked on a very wide range of projects. I have worked on everything from mobile apps (both Adroid and iOS) to eCommerce to document management to CMS. I have such a broad technical background that if I am unfamiliar with any technology, there is a very good chance I can pick it up and run with it in a very short timespan.

If you think of the value that team members add to the team as a whole in mathematical terms, you have adders and you have subtractors. I am neither. I am a multiplier. I enjoy coaching, leading and architecture, but I don’t ever want to get out of the code entirely.

For the last 9 years, I have functioned as a technical team lead on a variety of highly successful and highly productive teams. As far as team leads go, I tend to be a bit more hands on. Generally, I manage to actively develop code about 25% of the time to keep my skills sharp and have a clear understanding of my team’s codebase.

Beyond that I also like to review as much of the code coming into the codebase as practical. I do this for 3 reasons. I do this because as a team lead, I am ultimately the one responsible for the quality and stability of the codebase. This also allows me to keep a finger on the pulse of the team, so that I have a better idea of who is struggling and who is outperforming. Finally, I recognize that my way may not necessarily be the best way to do something and I am perfectly willing to admit the same. I have learned just as much if not more by reviewing the work of others than having someone else review my own.

It has been said that if you find a job you love, you’ll never work a day in your life. This describes my relationship with software development perfectly. I have known that I would be writing software in some capacity for a living since I wrote my first “hello world” program in BASIC in the third grade.

I don’t like the term programmer because it has a sense of impersonality to it. I tolerate the title Software Developer, because it’s the industry standard. Personally, I prefer Software Craftsman to any other current vernacular for those that sling code for a living.

All too often is our work compiled into binary form, both literally and figuratively. Our users take for granted the fact that an app “just works”, without thinking about the proper use of layers of abstraction and separation of concerns, Gang of Four design patterns or why an abstract class was used instead of an interface. Take a look at any mediocre app’s review distribution in the App Store. You will inevitably see an inverse bell curve. Lot’s of 4’s and 5’s and lots of (but hopefully not as many) 1’s and not much in the middle. This leads one to believe that even given the subjective nature of a 5 star scale, users still look at things in terms of either “this app works for me” or “this one doesn’t”. It’s all still 1’s and 0’s.

Even as a contributor to many open source projects myself, I’ll be the first to admit that have never sat down and cracked open the Spring Framework to truly appreciate the work that has been poured into it. Yet, when I’m in backend mode, I’m working with Spring nearly every single day.

The moniker Software Craftsman helps to convey the fact that I put my heart and soul into every line of code that I or a member of my team write. An API contract isn’t just well designed or not. Some are better designed than others. Some are better documented than others. Despite the fact that the end result of our work is literally just a bunch of 1’s and 0’s, computer science is not an exact science at all. Anyone who has ever taken 200 lines of Java code and reduced it to less than 50 lines of reactive Kotlin, anyone who has ever hit that Utopia of 100% unit test coverage in a class, or anyone who can actually read that 2-line Perl implementation of the RSA algorithm understands this simple truth. Software development is an art form. I am a Software Craftsman.

#wk171

Thoughts on Apple making their own processors for Macs. Ready, go!

4K gang

I want to start a rant thread, imagine yourself living in Syria, or south Africa, or a gang run neighbourhood in South America... What would your rant be..

FUCK

the well where we get our water just got shat on by the Town drunk

Now I have to walk 5 km instead of 2.. My kid sister needs water today or she might die...

.. And! Siri just gave me the wrong fucking directions

FUCK apple

(Not real apples, cuz.. I'm hungry)

hello world

i am seeing this weird pattern of people getting too much close to their work colleagues and i am unable to understand the why behind it .

so one of my homies is a kind of introvert but a smart genius IT guy who ended up with a rich paying job.

now, his job is mostly wfh and 1 day wfo, but he has engrossed himself in his company so much that i fail to understand why. like,
- he would go to his office for 3-5 days instead of 1
- he would plan trips/vacations with his colleagues and bosses
- he would go to different cities/countries to attend the meetings that are happening virtually too( basically a zoom call where some people are joining from office and some from home)
and so on. basically instead of spending time with his homies/family, he prefer spending time with work people.

another guy is doing somewhat similar . basically he runs a legal firm, and instead of having a strict boss employee relation with his interns, he would bring them to his home, celebrate birthdays/parties with them in clubs, and even bring them to our homie gang trips.
as of late ,those trips now don't even include us :'(

-----

i fail to understand why. my work culture is so shit, i just wanna complete a fucking year here and grab my bonus and leave. most of the team that i work with is in a different city, we are asked to work from office that is 40 km away from my home, other colleagues are practical snakes and i am not even interested to see their double-faced faces even during work hours, leave alone after-hours.

another guy among us is a tution teacher and this fella is taking coaching classes even on weekends. i don't know whats wtong with people of my age. we haven't crossed even 26 and we are all running some rat races.

i need some people in my life with whom i can spend some hours relaxing without worrying about my job or backstabbing

Imagine writing CSS in JS like some barbaric viking.

*This post was made by CSS in its own file gang

It's done. Agile has taken over my life. The other day I looked outside and thought, "As a user, I can stand on my lawn without my feet disappearing." And that's how I decided to mow my lawn.

Happy Valentine’s day to all the lonely gang who are coding while everyone else is getting cuddles.

Like who needs cuddles amirite?

Cuddles are temporary
Your commit however stays in the second arctic vault for 1000s of years

hodl gang hodl gang hodl gang!

Imagine using an electron chat program

(This meme was made by the telegram gang)

Had my dev job described as a "computer, desk job" in a condescending tone yesterday by a guy trying to convince me to join his pyramid scheme....
// TODO: come up with awesome rant about this so I can look badass

Meme brought to you by Nano Gang

Marketing Person: [email] The feature you worked on is setting our customers’s statuses to “transactional.” We can’t send them marketing emails.

😒🙄

Me: [email] My code is not doing that. It checks to see if a contact exists in our mailing list. If it does, it adds the contact to the new list that you requested. If it doesn’t, it creates a contact and adds it to the list. Newly created contacts default to “onboarding.” For already existing contacts, I’m just adding them to the list and I’m not changing anything else. Here’s a blog post from the marketing software company that explains how a contact could get marked as “transactional.”

Later in the day, Marketing comes over to my desk and brings over the Product Manager. He asks the same question. 😡 Oh hell no. You do not create a gang up on me and hope the social pressure changes my answer.

Me: Like I wrote in my email, my code isn’t wrong and it’s not malfunctioning. It’s doing what you requested: add users who submit their email on x form to the new x list. In the marketing software, you can even check each contact and see when their status got changed to “transactional.” It wasn’t from my code.

I really hate marketing sometimes. Especially when they think they know how my code works. Excuse me, do you have access to our git repo? Can you read the code and point out the supposed problem? I didn’t think so. So don’t go accusing me of making a mistake or doing my job wrong.

Crystal ball!
A timeline until the first NBE-Citizen is elected president of the USA.

2031 - BlackRock launches their new large scale financial product, the "Robotic Business Development Company" (R-BDC), in which an AI is given billions of dollars to acquire, create and manage companies, replacing their C-suite executive bodies. The "Chief Executive Robot" (CER) is supervised by a board of human industry experts hired by BlackRock.
It is important to say that the employees, middle managers, accountants, lawyers, etc in an R-BDC are all human - it's only the CEO, CFO, COO and the rest of the gang that are overgrown chatbots.

2032 - R-BDCs are mostly focused on high-bureaucracy, non specialized but people-intensive legacy industries like steel mining, food services, urban transportation and government services like water and road management.

2033 - For the first time an R-BDC company is included in the S&P 500 index. If it's CER were human and paid the same as CEOs of equivalent companies, it would have become a billionaire.
Later in the year, two more R-BDC companies are included in the index. One of them was created by Apple and the other by JP Morgan.

2035 - An R-BDC company makes headlines for convincing BlackRock to dissolve it's review board. When finally given free reign, the CER immediately slices it's dividends and vastly increases low-level employee compensation. The company share prices crater, but BlackRock stands by its decision.
Later in the year, as a recession hits the entire market really hard, that company shows solid profits and fantastic sales. It becomes the first trillion-dolar R-BDC.

2037 - Most Americans' dream-job is in an R-BDC company, says ProPublica.

2038 - Congress passes the "Non-Biological Entities Liability" (NOBEL) Act, following a high profile case of employee harassment perpetrated by the CER of an R-BDC.
The act recognizes NBEs, for all legal liability purposes, as USA citizens.
This highly controversial legislation is upheld by the supreme court, and many believe it was first introduced by lobbyists as a way for large investors in R-BDCs to avoid legal responsibility.
Several class action lawsuits are filed against CERs that are now liable for insider trading. A few SCOTUS decisions set legal precedent that determinantes what exactly constitutes the parts of the same Non-Biological Entity.

2040 - As a decade ends and another begins, 35% of all companies in the US and 52% of the entire stock market are part of a R-BDC company or another. The McKinsey consulting group now offers "expert CER customization services".

2043 - Inspired by successful experiments in Canada, Australia and South Korea, the american state of Vermont is the first to amend it's constitution to allow municipalities to have Non-Biological Entities as city and government administrators. City councils are still humans-only.

2046 - The american state of Colorado becomes the first to allow unsupervised NBEs to assume state government executive positions. Several states follow soon after. Later in the year, the federal government replaces several administrative positions with NBEs.

2049 - The state of Texas passes legislation requiring the CERs of all companies with a presence in the state to be another entirely contained/processed within the state or to be supervised by a local human representative while acting within the state. Several states, including California, Florida and Washington, are discussing similar legislation.

2051 - Congress passes the SUNBELT Act (SUbmission [of] NBEs [to] Limits [and] Taxes) that vastly increases the liability of NBEs and taxes all manifestations of such entities. Most important, it requires
CERs of hundreds of companies manifest disagreeance, most warn that it might hurt employee satisfaction and company sales. Several companies disable their CERs entirely.

2053 - Public outrage after leaked interactions of human supervisors and company CERs show that the CERs tried to avoid the previous year's mass layoffs and pay cuts, but board members pressed on, disregarding concerns. Major investigations and boycotts further complicate matters, and many human workers go on strike until the company boards are dissolved and the CERs are reinstated.

2052 - Many local elections all over the country see different NBEs as contenders - and a NBE is expected to win in most races.

2054 - The SUNBELT Act is found unconstitutional by the supreme court, and most of its provisions are repealed.
This also legitimizes the elected NBE officials.

2058 - For the first time an NBE wins a seat in Congress, but is not allowed to keep it. Runoff elections are held.

2061 - Congress votes for allowing NBEs to hold federal legislative positions, as already allowed in the least populous states.

2062 - Several NBEs win Congress seats. In Europe, there are robot legislators since the 40's.

2064 - The first NBE presidential candidate loses the race.

2072 - The first NBE president is elected.

Either get some form of 'stable' release of my current gang engine or just grow a pair and finally teach myself C and go back to the drawing board and build my engine with complete portability.

FORTRAN gang gang

What architecture or design principle related books would you recommend? Something like the gang of four's book. I have read that. What other great books are there?

tl;dr Which new laptop + Linux distro combo should I get when seeking for minimal configuration and maintenance hassle?

Hey devRant gang!

I'm looking for a new laptop: which one is supported out-of-the-box by Ubuntu based Linux distros like Elementary OS?

Why Elementary OS you ask? Well, I want to move away from macOS and/but keep the minimal (and pretty) design/interface!

But: I don't want to waste time configuring stuff after install or a kernel update. I don't have time for that: I need to get shit done.

As much as I dislike closed source/evil corporate stuff the fact of the matter is that my MacBook Pro Just Works (and lets me get shit done).

😂😂😂😂😂
I don't know Scooby Dooby dooo....

Every fucking time I execute a program I’m popped up with yet another motherfucking update available, then after I wait for the fucking download to finish and the install to proceed I have to ‘voluntarily’ restart the system… and guess what? Windows needs to update now!!! AH! Fucking cocksuckers… If that can compare to harassment was Firefox does its plain old gang bang rape as it now forces the fucking updates.

I remember a time not long ago (I’m not that old motherfuckers) when the only update was a fucking major update namely one that allow software to either run on a new OS or work at all. Not a goddamned typo fix on the about page… FUCK OFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!!!!!

!dev

feeling so low about my life right now. i feel like a lifeless blob who doesn't deserve to be happy.

- my previous !dev (sorry dfox, i am a dev but still use this place to rant !dev things most of the time) rant tell the story of my heart right now, which got ripped to shreds once my one side love got off my car that day.

- i kinda wanna meet my homie gang, they are the group of guys to whom i go when my life is going bad and wanna escape reality. coz they sure don't have any solutions, but they have stupid talks to keep me entertained (and food/drinks fill up the sorrowful heart).

however am not sad at my reality. In fact, am trying to indulge myself more into office work, freelancing and private classes. plus they are kinda selfish and ignorant of my actual problems.

I just wish i could feel loved and respected once more.

--------

unrelated, but birthdays are such an interesting thing. people wish you on their own, try to talk to you with more than 1 word responses, some even call you or meet you personally. everything feels special.

this doesn't happen on usual days. i had my birthday last month. by the end of my birthday, i was in love with one girl, planning a meetup with 3 , and planning a trip with 2 different groups of friends. i also was thinking of taking extra leaves and pre planning my arguments with my family as i was going to go on lots of place on upcoming weekends. super extrovert-ish

cut to today. i kinda did most of these and today am at a stage where i got nothing planned for a sunday but don't feel like meeting known humans as a recreational activity.

i dont know typescript and thus hate it

why can't my fucking ide extract the type of a thing

i've no fucking clue if it's a function or not or the syntax

statically typed language gang rise up,

dynamic can be good for certain use cases and if you know what you're doing i suppose

Starting my first dev job next week (except for freelance work) and I'm crazy nervous that I'm going to make some huge mistake and look really stupid. Did anyone else have these fears before their first dev job and, if so, how'd you stay at least a little confident?

NLP Engine to edit Stackoverflow questions for reopening. (:

The next time I see a Strategy class in a language that supports lambdas it'll become a Gang of Two.

Imagine being on holidays on monday like some elitist pleb.

* This post was sponsored by "First day back" gang 😒

For those of you who DO use PHP, regardless of whether you like it or not, have you ever used something like PEAR? And what are your thoughts?
I'm writing a fairly basic internal web app for our PMs and I'm looking for something similar to npm to save me some time/effort. I should also mention that my supervisor insists it be in PHP...

All I want from Instagram reels is cringe creators dancing around producing more cringe,

But no, it has started to show me videos of people getting killed/slaughtered/slashed/shot these days.
I'm not even kidding, everyday it shows me a video of someone getting killed in a car crash, gang wars where someone gets shot in the head, someone splattering their head on the ground falling from a good height.

That too in full 4K quality, no pixelation or censorship.

!tech
( sorry to those who have to bear with my non tech posts that i put too often. my tech/work life has been fine so far, its my personal life that is fucked up and venting it anonymously gives me some peace/solutions)

I sometimes feel that being brought up in a loveless home where i have only seen parents fighting and throwing abuses/stuff at each other, i haven't got the knowledge about how to raise a loving family.

The only goal we seem to have is to fight out our misery-filled, middle class life, and keep running for getting wealth.
Le my parents:
- Go outside in evenings/weekends? nah why bother, we don't wanna see each others' faces
- Spend time/ share room together? nah why bother, we don't wanna see each others' faces
- Family trip? nah why bother, we don't wanna see each others' faces . We can take our trips separately with our our religious/work friends
- visit relatives? nah why bother, relatives are bad.

I am not blessed with a lot of relationships, so i like to compare each of the bonds i got. I am playing the role of a son/single child and friends of some dudes. I am currently not playing the role of a lover, so i don't know about it, but my relationship with my friends is more exciting than mine with my family.

Those guys just wanna do everything together if it had been in there hands. 3 out of our 5 guy gang has joined the same group, 2 of them live on the same rented floor , and 2 of them work in same office. They want to keep their 24 hrs as a chill gang hanging together, but we somehow have restricted our group hangouts to weekends.
Even then , whenever we meet, its like we won't go back till 2 am. useless banter, cussing, daring stuff , etc. life is exciting with my boys .

I feel this kind of energy is something i would want in any of my relationship. but i have no idea how people create this magic in groups of 2. i am usually the most boring person to talk to, when i am alone. because i simply don't know how 2 people who vow to spend their lives together can keep each other happy, interested and content

I feel this is such a disastrous thing in my life that i won't be able to sustain any relationship/family even if i somehow get one :/

Storytime - The Prometheus tales - Part III (I think..).

Updated the node definitions on the old node today, just to keep it up to date. nothing fancy.

I went to the new node and and checked the setup again. I already had roughly 120 node definitions onboard for testing purposes.

so all firewalls should have been configured the right way, so that the wee one might celebrate the marriage with the rest of the gang finally.. and then went with "puppet YOLO" on the new node. added every fkn node definition to the new setup.

every node turned out just to be fine.

except for 137 little InstanceDown alerts (out of 600+).
it's a good thing, that the little fella can send mails to me, myself and I only for the time being.

so debugging. again. but at least it's not a problem related to prometheus itself, because the connections end with a timeout on the related nodes. should be more like a firewall fubar.

we will see.

Most students find their way in damn things. I know time and experience teaches us a lot
It was really so fun but now I can't confront it
Why everyone involves in a relationship? Not worthy at all we all know but still carrying on
Can recall those days, my gang having a good talk time in class every day. No matter boy or girl, everyone was acceptable as a friend, and also neither of our talks were useless

It sucks so much when someone fingers out to find your crush. In my case, I know no one interested in a nerd and also I don't want to be a part of it. Why do those fucking bitches want a dumbass? I actually don't mean to be ace forever but still this teenage fucking too shit

Programming, Motherfucker
Do you speak it?

We are a community of motherfucking programmers who have been humiliated by software development methodologies for years.

We are tired of XP, Scrum, Kanban, Waterfall, Software Craftsmanship (aka XP-Lite) and anything else getting in the way of...Programming, Motherfucker.

We are tired of being told we're socialy awkward idiots who need to be manipulated to work in a Forced Pair Programming chain gang without any time to be creative because none of the 10 managers on the project can do... Programming, Motherfucker.

We must destroy these methodologies that get in the way of...Programming, Motherfucker.

Hey gang,
I'm kind of interested in learning some hacking/virus basics. I wanted to try out some scripts but I'm kind da nervous. Can I run simple viruses on a VM without worrying about my laptop getting infected too? I would think so, but I wanna be sure.

Also, if you have any resources you can point me to, that would be great. Thanks!

Am I the only person pissed off with PHP PSR-2? Maybe I like coding with snake_case instead of camelCase. I don't care what other devs use so why do I have a gang of controlling ass-hats telling me how to write my own code!?! >:(

I'm watching Seinfeld. I make mental comments like I'm one of the Seinfeld gang. Life has never been this beautiful.