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So I have complained to our landlord about a noisy neighbor who keeps blasting shitty music at midnight, and technically its against the law as well, but this bitch ass joke of a human being ignored even the most highest of authority.
Seeing I can't solve it with democracy, I finally gave up with any reasonable type of way to restrain this motherfucker (even calling police didn't help) and went full asshole with him
I know his WiFi uses WPS PIN, but I'm not gonna throttle his network, I want to piss him off so much he'll regret living beside me, or at our place entirely.
So I performed a Evil Twin attack, I had my Raspberry Pi act as a both cloned AP and a deauther. Finally the plan came to effect.
I ran the deauther in his AP, effectively disconnecting his devices, and had the devices connect to the cloned network. The primary aim of my attack is to annoy this bitch ass to the point of no return. The project I used serves a website on the cloned AP like a update for his router. I intentionally made it run overnight, blasted Lo-fi hip hop and went to sleep. Before I dozed off, I can hear their scream of rage because they can't blast their music at full volume (waddaya guess, they use Spotify).
I finally woke up the next day, and I find neighbor complaining about me, and they were trying to tell the landlord I was hacking them. It's technically true but its not as bad as domestic disturbance for a full fucking week.
Landlord asked me if I did it, I declined, she believed me (I know she does because she knows I'm a pure soul unlike this mofo). Then he left frustrated, threatened to sue me for hacking.
I just smickered, he can't really prove anything unless I was being sloppy.
Nowadays I get good sleep and finally we live in a quite peaceful place now. Now you may ask, what happened to that guy? After he threatened me, the next night he found his things outside his own room, he was kicked out by the landlord.
Moral of the story: we ain't hating on your music taste but don't showcase it like its the most important thing in the world when everyone is sleeping. Case and point, don't be an asshole19 -
I want Gordon Ramsey to start a IT program in the same fashion as Hotel Hell and Kitchen Nightmares
He'll sit at a desk with a laptop, examining code as if he's eating food, venting frustrations and screaming insults out loud
Then he'll have a talk with the team and see how they work on a day
After that he'll go into the freezer (server room) and scream at mold and cockroaches
Then comes the intervention where we discover that the PM is still grieving about the death of his original programming language and the team loves him but thinks he should move on
The next day the development studio is modernised and has a candy bar, tennis table and everyone is forced to use linux on their new macbooks
Then we experience a good day where everything is great and velocity is through the roof
Then Gordon leaves and everything is shit again17 -
The moment when you're failing the university, you desperately wish to drop out of it and your parents push you to inhuman amounts of things to get you to finish the bloody thing when not even a bachelor's degree will ever help you in anything and it seriously wasted 5 years of "studying" about things in food technology that were there in the USSR. I think you failed to notice that 26 years have gone after that. More years than my age is, basically, and the tech has moved forward so much I will never be able to utilise at least 80% of what I was "taught". Yeah, it's nice pretending you're somehow smarter than everyone else in your room when you have a degree like that, right?
I'm studying at a professional college right now and it's 11 AM to 5 PM five days of the week. How am I supposed to be able to combine a university that never helps one even fucking slightly if you have a job or something similar? And it also insists that it won't take away grades if you don't go there, but simultaneously it actually does that. I'm the type who cannot be made to do something in some cases even if there is no other way perceivable.
I just want to get a goddamn job that pays, but I need something that gives me salary of at least about 1000 USD equivalent to just be able to hopefully rent a small flat and have some money to spare.
Now I have to be going to the college. I might end up getting my PC taken away from me a THIRD time since me and my friends built it. And it's only been a bit more than a year since that :|
Did I tell you my age? 23.
And these people(my parents), think they can bitch, moan, take things away from me(the things that helped me all my life to not go insane from their actions), then scream at and even hit me if I don't act 100% the way they want me to.
AND THEY WILL SAY THEY WANT ME TO SUCCEED AND THAT THEY STAND FOR MY FREEDOM.
If there is some force that can help me out of this, I summon thee!
/endrant.
Sorry for that. I needed to have that out of my system.34 -
Once Ashish was travelling by train in A/c class. He was traveling from Mumbai to Bangalore!
He was traveling alone!
Some time later, a Beautiful lady came and sat in the opposite berth!
Ashish was pleasantly Happy!
The lady kept smiling at him! This made Ashish even more Happy!
Then she went and sat next to him!
Ashish was bubbling with Joy!
She then leant towards him and whispered in his ear " Hand over all your valuables, cash, cards, mobile phone to me
else I will shout and tell everybody that you are harassing and misbehaving with me"
Ashish stared blankly at her!
He took out a paper and a pen from his bag and wrote " I can not hear or speak. You write on this paper whatever you want to say"
The lady wrote everything what she said earlier and gave it to him!
Ashish took her note, kept it in his pocket!
He got up and told her in clear tones..."Now shout & scream!!"
MORAL OF THE STORY : *DOCUMENTATION IS VERY IMPORTANT*
😄😀😄4 -
1. I join a company.
2. I get deeply involved in "how to run the company", and get nice compliments from both coworkers & management about my skills in conveying startup/scaleup advice & necessities to upper management.
3. With my ego inflated through all the sweet talk, I think "ah, what the hell, let's do this again", and I accept a Lead/CTO promotion. I have to join board meetings, write reports on quarterly plans and progress.
4. I get unhappy/stressed/burned-out because I really just want to be a developer, not a manager/executive.
5. Upper management understands, I give up my lead position, lock myself back into my coding cave.
6. I get annoyed because the requirements I receive become more and more disconnected from reality, half of the teams seem to have decided to stop using agile/scrum, the testing pipeline breaks all the time, I get an updated labor contract from HR by mail which smells like charred flesh, etc
7. The annoyances become too much to do ANY work. I yell at the other devs outside of the entrance of my cave. There is no answer, only a few painful moans and sighs.
8. I emerge from my cave. The city has turned into a desolate wasteland. The office is a burning ruin, the air sharp and heavy with black soot. Disemboweled corpses of developers litter the poisoned soil.
Product Managers dressed in stained ripped suits scream at each other while they try to reinforce concrete barricades with scotch tape and post-its. *THUMP* Something enormous is trying to break through. "Thank God, bittersweet, you're still alive! The stakeholders! They have mutated! We couldn't meet the promised deadlines! We've lost the whole mobile app department, and that kid there is the last of the backenders and he's only an intern! You're here to save us, right? RIGHT?".
In the corner, between the overflowing coffee machine and a withered cactus, a young boy has collapsed onto the floor. His face is covered in moldy coffee grounds, clasping on to his closed macbook for dear life, wide-open eyes staring into the void, mumbling: "didn't backup the database, and It's all gone" over and over.
A severely dented black Tesla with a dragging loose bumper breaks through the dried up vertical herb garden and the smoothiebar, and comes to a halt against the beanbags in a big cloud of styrofoam balls.
The CEO limps out, leaking blood all over the upholstery. He yells to the COO: "The datacenter is completely flooded with sewage! I saved the backup tapes though", holding a large nest of tangled black magnetic tape mixed with clumps of mud above his head.
9. I collect my outstanding salary and sell any rewarded options/shares for a low dumping price, take a 5 month holiday, and ask a recruiter about opportunities in a different city.14 -
To all young freelancers in low-income countries: I want to share my experience, of 6 years working for a piss-poor country, and 6 years working in freelance, and then emigrating. Here's what you should watch out for, and what to expect:
My first salary was barely 1.5$ per hour. I lived in a piss-poor country that taught me a lot (like why it's piss-poor).
The main thing to note when you're a developer in such a country, is that you're being fucked. Your employer might scream at you and tell you how bad you are, while barely paying you. That is you ... being ... fucked. Gain some confidence with the help of friends and family, and a great effort from yourself, look at what freelance gigs you can find, and ditch anything related to jobs in your country.
Being a somewhat able developer, but with modest experience, I started my freelance gigs for 5$ per hour. Because I was lazy, and freelance gigs weren't exactly being thrown at me, I was making 100$ per week, AFTER the companies I worked for appreciated what I did and offered themselves to up my pay to 12$ per hour. Yep. I was lazy. You will likely get lazy in freelance too, so be prepared for this.
My luck changed when one of my clients became a full-time employer, at 15$ per hour, with a well organized team where I actually worked for 40 hours per week (I had already amassed 8 years of experience...). For people in first world countries that will seem laughable, but in my country I was king of the hill, getting paid more than government CEOs that ended up in the news as the "most well paid".
That was the top of the pyramid for international indie freelance, as I would later find out.
I didn't do stuff that was very difficult. In fact, I felt like my abilities were rotting while I worked there. I had to change something. So I started looking for better offers. I contacted many companies that were looking for a senior developer, and the interviews went well, and all was fine, except for my salary demands. I was asking for 25$ per hour. Nobody was willing to pay more than 15$ per hour. That's because of my competition - tons of developers in cheap-to-live countries that had the same, or more to offer, for the same rates. Globalization.
So I moved to Germany. As soon as I was legally able to work, I was hunted down by everybody. I was told that it takes a month to pass the whole hiring process in Germany. My experience demonstrated that 2-5 days is enough to get a signed contract with "Please start ASAP".
There is freelance in Germany as well. And in the US. And everywhere else. A "special" kind of freelance, where you have to reside locally. The rates that this freelance goes for is much, much higher than international freelance. I'd say that 100€ per hour is ok-ish. Some people (newbies, or foreigners who don't speak the language well) get less, around 60 or so. Smart experienced locals get around 150-200 or even more.
It's all there. Companies want good developers to solve their business problems with IT solutions, and they'll beg you to take their money if you can deliver that.
So code!
Learn!
Accummulate experience!
Screw the scumbags that screw you for 1-2$ per hour!
Anyone able to write something more than "Hello World!" deserves more.
Do the climb! There's literally room for everybody up there! There is so much to do, that I feel like there will never be too many developers.
Thank you for bearing with my long story. I hope it will help you make it shorter and more pleasant for you.12 -
I JUST FINISHED MY FIRST NEURAL NETWORK!!!
But first of all, as I know you guys, it's spaghetti code and even I as a newb see places where I used too few-dimensional array or passed useless parameters or simply wrote too many redundant lines of code. I know it. I will make it MUCH better next time. Period.
But OMFG this made me scream from happiness today!! Just these few seemingly random numbers... I'm really done.. That's why I jumped into coding year or two ago..
And for some background, I didn't study any IT school, I'm just highschooler (general grammar school) who traded gaming for learning. Also my maths teacher teached NNs on university and is very keen to teach me, so that's that.
Now I wanna make the best out of it and I'm looking forward to write some well documented and flexible library, parallelized and everything (I'm gonna learn a lot in the process of doing this) better then FANN.
Maybe I'm gonna fail(99% probability but hey, I'm programmer beginner, I still think I can code everything I want). But if there is just one moment like when I saw this screen today, I'mma trade my life for it.
Sorry for taking your time guys, I was just genuinely stunned... A lot
24 -
Once IT Engineer was travelling by train in A/c class.
He was traveling alone!
Some time later, a Beautiful lady came and sat in the opposite berth!
IT Engineer was pleasantly Happy!
The lady kept smiling at him! This made IT Engineer even more Happy!
Then she went and sat next to him!
IT Engineer was bubbling with Joy!
She then leant towards him and whispered in his ear " Hand over all your valuables, cash, cards, mobile phone to me
else I will shout and tell everybody that you are harassing and misbehaving with me"
IT Engineer stared blankly at her!
He took out a paper and a pen from his bag and wrote " I can not hear or speak. You write on this paper whatever you want to say"
The lady wrote everything what she said earlier and gave it to him!
IT Engineer took her note, kept it in his pocket!
He got up and told her in clear tones..."Now shout & scream!!"
MORAL OF THE STORY : DOCUMENTATION IS VERY IMPORTANT
😄😀😄4 -
I'M NOT HELPDESK. I CAN'T FIX YOUR BROWSER OPTIONS. I LOVE YOU TO FUCKING PIECES BECAUSE YOU STOP THE INCREDIBLY FUCKING STUPID CALLS, BUT I CAN'T HELP YOU and now I feel like a prick. Call your boss and make him do his fucking job. Please. I don't want to scream at you. I need you in my life...10
-
What's the difference between a wasp and single loose hair?
Apparently none till the wasp stings :/
Yesterday I thought I had a loose hair on my neck.. ok, I shrug it off.. later again the creepy feeling.. shrugs off..
I continue to work, sumberged in code, wanting to find the fucker (bug, not the wasp/hair).. lean in to the monitor... 10 cents away from the screen... Ok, maybe that's it! Feels the hair on my back, near shoulderblades again... shrugging again more violently to get it further down to fall out.. nothing.. ok, got the bug, threw myslef back in the chair with substential force & BAAAAM!!! Motherfucking hair bit me!! O.o
I scream in horror & on top of the lungs (it was late, after work hours so I didn't expect anyone else still at the office) PROKLETA PRASICA (roughly translated to goddamn female swine).. I previously saw some green bug flying around the office and I thought that nasty thing bit me (didn't know they bite soo, much more horror for me).. O.o
Anyhow, I jump up from the computer and see my coworker looking at me all baffled.. I proceed to franticly take of my headphones and hoodie..thinking about wtf should I do now, I cannot get undressed in front of him (not for my sake, bra is the same as top of the bathing suit for me, but still..I don't want anyone suing me for impropper behaviour of undreasing in front of coworkers..), how the fuck should I get to the toilet?! O.o
C: Are you ok?!
M: Um.. sth bit me..wtf?!
C: There was a wasp flying around somewhere some time ago.. are you alergic?!
M: um..not sure, I don't think so..we'll see soon..
I proceed to the WC, to take off tshirt & check/kill off the fucker.. on my way there (walking funny to not press the hair to my body again) I got another surprise, another coworker was working late..
C2: Are you ok?! O.o
M: yeah, sth bit me, probably a wasp..
Ok, finally on the loo..ok, do not lock self in in case it escapes and you need help.. don't even shut the door. Check.. standing between the doors I contemplate on how the fuck should I take my tshirt off without angering the fucker even more and getting bitten again.. O.O
I lifted the tshirt up my back to let it out.. nope, not there..the creepy felling of buzzing around between my shoulder blades continues.. crap.. what to do?!
I stood there & contemplated the task.. ok, roll up the tshirt to the shoulder blades, not against the body (duh) to prevent further stings..tighten the fabric, so it cannot escape, quickly remove the band from the body.. done..reversed the tshirt and straightened it.. bzzz... Fucker fell somewhere.. Dafaq?! Was it really just a wasp?! If yes, no problem...but what if coworker was wrong and I got bitten by that nasty green whateveritsname bug?! Eeeeewwww! Is it poisonous? Gotta find it & kill it for good.. waited a bit, than saw a goddamn wasp crawl from under the toilet.. wasp!! Yess!! Stopm stomp fucker!!
I get dressed & go back to my desk..
C: Did you terminate it?!
M: Yup, fucker went on a toilet paper trip down the drain!!
I sit down, starting to get my headphones back on and proceed to work.., but before I could, one last gem:
C: CTO would say, thank god it didn't sting you in your finger cuz you wouldn't be able to type anymore..
M: O.O so true hahhahahaaa
Disclaimer - I like animals, but I freakking hate wasps..especially if they get under my tshirt to sting.. :/7 -
My dream was shattered!!
I joined a new company. I graduated last 2 months before and joined as data analyst.
So I was dreaming to work on some awesome research projects and all, but it was just another dream...people here don't work on any sort of data analytics instead the data science team uses regex and all to extract things and say they are building models.
Ahh...wtf!!!
Many co-workers are good and help me, but the boss. He left all the annoying works to me and the release is in next month...
"BRUH I JUST JOINED YOUR COMPANY!!!"
Then after some days he gave me more task, when he found that one task was super easy(i mean it was just to extract things using bs4 and selenium, hardly will take an hour) to do then he took that himself and in the next meeting said he did that work and it was super difficult!!!
Data science here to senior members is just for loop!! I dont even know why I joined this firm
Ahhh!!! I want to scream!!!
11 -
Refactoring code of somebody who left and:
- Plagued the code with TYPOS (milions of them but ok I can live with those... to a certain point)
- Used global variables by default.... of course even where they're not needed
- Used comments only in parts of code where... well they're not needed, important ones are of course left out
- Did not indent code. 3..2..1... Did not FUCKING indent code properly and when he did... did WRONG!
- Instead of indentation he used commented line with multiple ==== signes.... so far top is 60 consecutive lines with olny ==== again no apparent pattern here
- Did not follow a fucking standard in variable naming... no camle casing... there are varaibles assigned multiple times to "temp" variables without no reason just for the sake of wasting resources on the system I guess
This is just the beginning of the review but I already want to change job, die, scream, cry... not in any specific order.10 -
I didn't scream.. just told him to jump off of terrace..
What ticked me?! He was a support guy..slowest mofo ever..
I was in the middle of fixing major fuckup on prod, when our VPN to client disconnected. I rushed over to support to ask if it is 'just' an expired session (which he was in charge of renewing but constantly fucked up) or if there is some other problem, so I know how to proceed..do I need to contact our sysadmins, client's support guys etc..
He
started
to
slooooooooowly
explain
I
am
not
the
only
one
with
VPN
problems
...
Was that what I asked you?! // he had an annoying habit of slooooowly talking and explaining unrelated things & personal stuff that bothered him & most of the times he chose the most time sensitive period to drone off..
So I cut him of saying, that others were probably not 'tinkering' with production and that I need this back ASAP, so if he could tell me when the session will be renewed or if there is something else problematic..
He said he will check..I didn't move.. he looked at me insurprise, you want me to check *NOW*?! Yeah, it's urgent.. He proceeded very very veeeery slooooowly, taking the support phone../* he was even eating sandwich during that, so only one hand free, typing one letter at a min */
I was finaly notified that the session expired and that he will fix it soon (meaning in 15-20mins o.O which should not take him more than 5).. and was like 'can I do sth else for you'?! Yeah, do the backflip.. you know the rest..3 -
Every time I have to deal with my boss code and lack of convention and everything that makes a clean code I just want to scream like a bitch and punch him in the face without minding breaking my own hand.
8 -
For some reason the office I work for is paying for a designer to become a front end developer and she gets to take the classes one work time. Any time I want to further my career or pay I have to pay out of pocket and it can't interfere with work. Additionally I have to deal with her asking me every other day why I use Sublime over something else.
Basically I use Sublime because I spent too much time researching new things to try and learn yet another editor. If you wanna use brackets, cool, if you wanna use atom, cool, if you wanna use notepad, cool. I don't give a flying fuck what editor you use, you're writing CSS, I'm writing PHP, if you can count to 4 spaces, and not look at my code, I'm not going to scream at you.
She comes in each day and sits at her desk watching video after video on beginner HTML and CSS asking me mundane questions breaking my concentration at least once an hour.
I know we all started somewhere but Google was my best friend and should be yours as well.7 -
Having a co-worker who I consistently must support with using the basic funionaity of our software, getting me dragged in to a senior management meeting to tell me and my boss that I am too incompetent to do my job. All because something out of my control was taking longer than they would have liked.
This same co-worker deleted a folder on a server full of live data because they "wanted to see what it would do" then wondered why I revoked their Admin rights to that folder.
I want to scream at them every day.2 -
When defining a range, let's say from 1 to 3, I expect:
[1, 2, 3]
Yet most range functions I come across, e.g. lodash, will do:
_.range(1, 3)
=> [1, 2]
And their definition will say: "Creates an array of numbers ... progressing from start up to, but not including, end."
Yet why the fuck not including end? What don't I understand about the concept of a frigging range that you won't include the end?
The only thing I can come up with that's this is related to the array's-indexes-start with-0-thing and someone did not want to substract `-1` when preparing a for loop over an 10 items array with range(0,10), even though they do not want a range of 0 to 10, they want a range from 0 to 9. (And they should not use a for loop here to begin with but a foreach construct anyway.)
So the length of your array does not match the final index of your array.
Bohhoo.
Yet now we can have ranges with very weird steps, and now you always have to consider your proper maximum, leading to code like:
var start = 10;
var max = 50;
var step = 10;
_.range(start, max + step, step)
=> [10, 20, 30, 40, 50]
and during code review this would scream "bug!" in my face.
And it's not only lodash doing that, but also python and dart.
Except php. Php's range is inclusive. Good job php.4 -
I often want to scream at co-workers because of their lack of attention to details.
I believe attention to detail is important for software engineers.
I tell my junior developers that "it works" isn't enough, you need to make sure it works as perfectly as possible and paying attention to detail helps with that.13 -
I'm a jr developer. I started off in automation testing and don't mind it but the testing codebase is cancer, doesn't follow basic Java conventions even basic naming conventions like camelcase, and the tests are super slow using hardcoded Thread.sleep(). Since the automation tests are not automated, I have to run manually. YES manually, every morning I wake up early at 7am to run the 2.5 hour long tests (7am because this before people get to work and when the application goes back online). I run this bitch and monitor them but most of them fail anyways. I also have to write a email report on the results which means I have to explain why shit is failing so I have to debug all this crap. This shit literally eats up an additional 2-3 hours of my work day everyday and the time is not even accounted for. ALSO, since it's running on my laptop, it makes my computer slow most of the day. If I have to debug, I can't have the browser be headless so fuckin chrome browsers be popping up every 2 minutes. I did this for legitimately 8 sprints until I decided enough was enough and bitched about it and the team told me I had no choice. I eventually got them to push towards automating it but it's still in progress so I'm still running this dumb shit. The contractors try to take advantage of me any way they can by giving me mindless bitch work they don't want and they know I don't usually say no since I'm a jr resource. I hate running the fucking automation tumor. Sometimes I go into the meeting rooms alone to scream.
I feel like I'm wasting my life away and not learning as much as I could somewhere else10 -
That's it. I've had enough.
I lost my job yesterday (again) and the Irish cumstain who lives in the room next to me got pissed last night and kicked my door in because he thought I had his phone(?) and was ignoring him, when I was at work.
Long story short, he ripped my friends back door apart, tried to fight me (which ended with me chasing him down the street with a plank).
Police came and did a wonderful job as always by making us shake hands and 'promise' to leave each other alone.
THIS ISN'T FUCKING PRIMARY SCHOOL. DRAG HIM AWAY BEFORE I DO, YOU IGNORANT FUCKING PIGS.
Oh, and my 'friend' then had a schizophrenic episode and blamed it all on me(?!?). I then went to buy 2 bottles of vodka and decided to get pissed before trying to kill myself.
Ah, I love humans. Dirty, ignorant, blood sucking bags of sweaty meat and delicate bone. I really want to turn this Irish cunt into a skinsack of blood and guts, but I'm waiting patiently. He's going to wake up one night tied up and gagged, with me dragging him to a forest somewhere far far away...
Is it weird that I want to make him scream, cry, and shit himself at the same time?11 -
Recruiting front end right now… I’m tiered of this BS.
95% of applicants: “hey I don’t understand what you want, but look at my cool, ToDo app in <INSERT ANY framework>”
“Ok, now add a quick search in your todo project”
“Oh wow, it’s like 5 days work lol and should be managed at back end. I Shouldn’t care”.
How HOW these idiots even have a job ?
I’m out of words. I want to scream, pull my own hair and (Weirdly enough) watch a DareDevil movie9 -
Another case of "devs too stupid to poop" TM.
We had a funny discussion today.
Topic came up that a project using Lucene was incredibly slow.
Then came the yadda yadda of Java bad, Java sucks, Java bla Java blub in the gossip mill.
Both things irritated me, last thing was just the usual "I want to use new stuff cause I wanna be a cool jackass" trouble.
So. Today meeting. We did quick analysis by pair programming.
If I tell you that a whole team managed to review an PR, give it green light...
Despite the PR using the thread safe Lucene IndexWriter in a non-parallel fashion for large bulk inserts?
The whole problem screamed parallelization.
Yeah. If you ignore that scream and implement it in a sequential fashion, it is slow.
Congrats Jimmy, your retard level is off the charts. -
!dev
Fuck my broken brain. I’ve been taking various meds for depression/ptsd for 11 years, and just when you think you’re making progress it comes back and takes a nice big shit in your slippers.
I Referee grass roots football (soccer) on the weekends, and I’ve been out with an injury. I should have been reffing a women’s game this afternoon but my damaged brain has other ideas.
Sometimes I just want to scream fuck it all and move to the woods to become a full time spoon whittler7 -
I practice what I call "Aggressive Oriented Programming" or AOP.
Whenever I'm investigating a bad bug, working on a project that I really hate, or dealing with messy code written by a messy developer, I often find myself resorting to an [internal] state of violence.
It's not like I scream and smash my screen (although sometimes I want to). It usually consists of a few git blames and some curse words in print statements for debugging. This is just my way to vent.
5 -
Me: So you have no work experience, and majored in liberal arts, but you did go through a 6 months bootcamp, right?
Candidate: Yeah.
Me: sounds good, we will have to work together with you for a long while until you become independent, but I think you can definitely do this. What are you salary expectations?
Candidate: I'm thinking of 5000.
Me: Aight, thanks for your time! We'll send you more details later
Around here, 5000 (arbitrary made up number) is what you pay someone with around 3 years of experience at least. It's always these pampered fucks from rich countries that want to earn a shitton of money for the grand effort of going to a goddamn bootcamp for some months. That is their definition of effort and hard work, because it seems they've never once in their lives had any sort of hardship or struggle beyond crying that dad got them an Android instead of an iPhone. If you leave them alone they can't do jack shit because they've never worked in real, big projects, so you gotta invest a lot of time in them. Which is fine, everyone starts from somewhere. But what kinda balls do you have to demand a mid level salary when you have done basically nothing so far, and your knowledge is superficial at best?
I know that a lot of jobs and recruiters give bottom of the barrel shit, but I swear some candidates are insane. Unpopular rant I assume but I just needed to scream a bit.10 -
!activism
Guys, what should we do about Article 13 ?
The bill passed, well, that's unfortunate. We can still scream as loud as we can that it's a very bad idea, but let's face it, it won't probably work...
Personally, I'm sick of this shit. Every year they try to "regulate" the web with a new fucked-up legislation that they actually don't understand. I don't blame them for not knowing any better, but I blame them not to surround themselves with actually competent people (and no, lobbies are NOT competent, only interested).
So there it is : I want to act on this one. With traditional, ineffective methods (petitions, mails...), but I want to get further this time.
Here are some ideas :
- create/promote a platform explicitly made for "copyrighted" stuff (basically memes). Located outside of EU. But is it enough for being outside of the law ?
- Put some physical-paper memes near the EU parliament (I live in Brussels), just to mess with them ^_^
- Make the filtering algorithms crazy by spamming them with copyrighted content. I doubt this one will have any effect though...
Any ideas ? Let's go crazy there, they deserve it.8 -
Once i was travelling by train from Mumbai to Delhi!
When the train started, I was traveling alone in the AC-I coupe.
Some time later, a Beautiful lady came and sat in the opposite berth!
I was pleasantly Happy
The lady kept smiling at me...
This made me even more Happy☺️
Then she went and sat next to me....
I was bubbling with Joy
She then leant towards me and whispered in my ear...
*"Hand over all your cash, cards and mobile phone to me , else I will shout loudly and tell everybody that you are harassing and misbehaving with me" *
I stared blankly at her
I took out a paper and a pen from my bag and wrote " I am sorry, I can not hear or speak... Please write on this paper whatever you want to say"
The lady wrote everything what she said earlier and gave it to me!
I took her note, kept it nicely in my pocket...
I got up and told her in clear tones..."
*Now shout & scream !!*
Moral of the story : *DOCUMENTATION IS VERY IMPORTANT*1 -
Who here is programming with React Native and is crying about it?
It's so volatile. Shit it has done so far:
- Randomly changed my IP location that it serves to and npm start that shows the welcome information keeps the old IP address, so I spent way too long trying to figure out why it wasn't working.
- Constantly having to rm -rf the node modules and npm i them because Expo randomly starts loading so slowly that you want to scream.
- Downgrading my react-native-scripts version in the package.json because it hangs forever on the starting packager.
- I also had to downgrade my expo dependencies because during one of my node module reinstalls, it would update the version and apparently Expo is incompatible with its own updated version.
And now I'm randomly getting an error that's apparently a known bug in one of the react dependencies and now I have to downgrade that as well.
Just. Why.9 -
The story of how I stumbled onto devrant:
Not long ago I was struggling with visual studio and did not know what to think, do or say. The only thing I wanted to do was scream while I banged my laptop against the wall. Just before doing that I googled "fuck Vs fuck Microsoft" and I was introduced to devrant. Something about reading the rqnts of frustrated developers made me calm (It also made me laugh). So what I really want to say is: thank you devrant for saving my money.3 -
"CTO" here.
Two week ago the CEO informs me that the "investor" want to put me in contact urgently with an external software house to help me with my "bottlenecks".
The investor goes immediately on holiday, so it's not available for explanations. The CEO doesn't know much.
Today I meet the software house CTO and CEO.
They tell me that I should do a transfer of knowledge with them. That they will respect my requirements, my schedule and that they want to help me.
During the meeting the business consultant explains "his" vision. Some new development nobody understand. Not even the CEO. The other cofounder is probably in disagreement but stay silent.
I agree to cooperate with them in due time and with due scope and planning.
It appears they already signed a contract with the investor. The investor is offering to us 40 days of a senior developer, for "free".
The CEO doesn't even know the economical details of the contract and he is surprised that has been signed.He also didn't know that a person will come over for 40 (?) days and that we will have to pay the transfer expenses.
I try to be friendly. I explain to them the issues I need to solve. I say specifically that I need help on certain tasks and that my wish is that nothing "new" will start until we fix some obvious problems.
After leaving, in the evening I receive an email from the software house guy, telling me that next week I MUST allocate a slot for technical transfer and the 2 weeks after for on site training. Like that. He also mention we "agreed" on that which is false. We agreed on me deciding the timing.
We are only 2 developers, at the moment and the other one will be on holiday next week, so I'm trying to get from him a lot of things I don't know because I don't know everything.
I'm not even sure I'll be able to explain how to prepare all the environment.
Worst thing is that I don't know what will be the scope of the project.
I really don't know how to behave.
I wrote back setting my conditions. I have holiday too. I have to prepare "documentation", explanation, etc.
I don't want the "senior dev" coming when I'm not present.
Maybe I was too weak answering and I should have started a fight immediately. Because he actually AGREED to let me decide and after that he set conditions on me immediately.
I don't know.
My stomach is burning, I had a very bad digestion with fever and headache, feel like puking, plus I spent several evening hours fixing the fucking Linux kernel bug.
I want to survive. I don't want to let them oust me in this stupid way. I want to fight.
I know that if I will explode, scream or whatever I will be at fault and I'll accelerate my demise.
When I try to be "diplomatic" actually I end up being weak.
When I try to be assertive I'm in fact rude and hysterical.
I can't think anything else.
This is what burnout looks like.20 -
So I walked into a business the other day where they make flyers and business cards etc. Wanted something specific so went to what they call their "developers". So they have some kind of dodgy pdf editor open there and I know exactly what I want so I asked can you take a RGB color..... the reaction was glassy eyes. And after that the woman started to scream at me and telling me that I have no idea what it is like to be a "Developer". Ended up walking out and going to another place.....1
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I'm so sick of being forced to use CSS frameworks at work. Every time I see one of those HTML elements with 87 terribly-named CSS classes, I want to scream and break something
What's wrong with Vanilla CSS? Why is it so unpopular to just stick with plain CSS, I feel like I'm infinitely more productive when I can just write out some short CSS than trying to wrangle the dumbass CSS framework to do what I want it to do. Even things like Vuetify make me lose my mind with the stupid shit you have to do to get it to behave how you want it
Also, Material Design is ugly as hell to me16 -
What the fucking fuck you bastard of an OS? Your fucking filthy "Copying" dialog box!
One of these days, I am gonna fuck you up in the ass so hard, you are gonna see Gates flying!
I am copying a file from CD in to my PC. At 97%, this shit hole of an OS says through it's fucking urine hole of a "Copying" dialog box: "An unexpected error is keeping you from copying this file. Try Again/Skip/Cancel"
Seriously?! It's 2018, and an unexpected error is keeping me from copying the file?! Where the fuck is your QA?
I, being an unreasonably optimistic human with this Billy fucker, click "Try Again".
What happens? You know very well what happens. This shit of an OS starts copying the file again! From 0%!
This is the second time, this bloody, filthy, fucking "Copying" dialog box has given me problems.
I am telling you, it's days are numbered in my PC. The countdown starts now.
.
.
.
It happened again! At fucking 97%! I just want to scream now.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!7 -
I quit this startup side job coz I was over worked and under paid for 3 years and I decided it wasn't worth the mental fatigue and anxiety. Plus I didn't feel like it added any value to my life other than stress. Gave them at least 2 months notice (since February effective April 30th) coz as the only server side engineer+team lead, I did ALOT. Now they brought this hot shot new CTO who wants me to basically rewrite the entire app before I go while maintaining the existing system and making sure everything functions smoothly (there is a ton I chose to optimise to make things easier for the new dev who they have not hired and I have 4 weeks to go) . The app was built in mongo db now he wants it in mysql. Can't believe ask me this after breaking my neck and falling in and out if depression for this job?!! I want to laugh and scream at the same time.8
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Come on guys, use those JSON schemas properly. The number of times I see people going "err, few strings here, any other properties ok, no properties required, job done." Dahhh, that's pointless. Lock that bloody thing down as much as you possibly can.
I mean, the damn things can be used to fail fast whenever you misspell properties, miss required properties, format dates wrong - heck, even when you want to validate the set format of an array - and then libraries will throw back an error to your client (or logs if you're just on backend) and tell you *exactly what's wrong.* It's immensely powerful, and all you have to do is craft a decent schema to get it for free.
If I see one more person trying to validate their JSON manually in 500 lines of buggy code and throwing ambiguous error messages when it could have been trivially handled by a schema, I'm going to scream.18 -
Context: We have a 96-port wall-mount patch panel. We're not even using half of those ports. "We" (read: "I") are completely redoing our network rack, as it's an ancient nest of wires. Currently all the ports in use on the patch panel just have random-length cables which are just drooped down beside the rack before running to switches. When I need to trace a cable from patch panel to switch, it's a complete nightmare. However, the cables going to the patch panel do have enough of extra length to do a rack-mount patch panel. I suggest this...
MGR: "Ehhh... I don't really like the idea of tying the rack to the wall... What if we want to move it or something?"
(this rack is in a tiny room and has been there since probably the 1800's.)
ME: "Well the problem currently is that it's all but impossible to trace cables. And even if I rewire it and bundle them nicely, it will still be a headache. With a rack-mount panel, we could just have super short patch cables and so it's super easy when I need to move stuff around."
MGR: "Okkkk..... So what if we would purchase like 3 or 4 switches to get 96 ports, then we run a cable to every patch panel port. That way we never need to change anything :)))."
Dude. Great idea. Let's drop hundreds to thousands of dollars on switches we don't need, rather than just doing a single patch panel. Brilliant. Also another great idea that, running thirty or forty unnecessary cables that we aren't even using. That won't clutter up the rack or use up valuable space or get confusing which ports on the switches are/aren't in use.
I'm trying so hard not to scream right now. I can't deal with this.
EDIT: It gets worse. Apparently part of the reason he wants to do this is "to make it simple". Currently we have our POS system running to its own switch, the printers are on another switch, etc. (yes I know some of this could be accomplished with a VLAN, this was set up before my time). But apparently "if we just had every single port wired then we could plug in whatever we want wherever we want and it wouldn't matter." I just... That's... That's not how you do a network.1 -
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK I hated this day! Get out of bed to a direct fire and firefight all fucking day long, cook while firefighting, shit while firefighting, make dinner while firefighting and now I finally get to eat my fucking dinner without a laptop in front of me. I just want to scream FUUUUUUUCK so very loud but I'm a nice neighborhood. Fuck, shit cunt day. Fuck.
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Allrighty, so we have a huge migration upcoming. The planning started early this spring. We've split the whole process into separate tasks and estimated each of them. Also marked all the tasks client should take care of itself so save funds and time. All-in-all the whole thing estimated like 4 months if we did it [single dev, tremendous amounts of communication with various parties, buy and prepare the infra, adapt app to the changes, testing, monitoring, etc.] and like a month if client did the tasks we shouldn't be doing. The funding for migration is time-bound and can only be used before December. Cool! We got notified that by the end of April we should be good to go! Plenty of time to do things right!
April comes. Silence. Mid-april we resch out to the client. Since there's plenty of time left migration is getting lower priority to other tasks. Well allright, sort of makes sense. We should migrate mid-July. Cool!
July comes. Client replies that everyone's on vacation now. Gotta wait for August - will do the quicker version of migration to make it on time. Well allright....
August comes. Everyone's vusy with whatever they've postponed during summer. Hopefully we'll start migration in September. Mhm...
September comes. We're invited to a meeting by project funders to explain tasks' breakdown, justify the time needed to make the migration. We're being blamed for surreal estimations and poor organization of tasks as nothing's happened yet... [they were the ones who always were postponing things....]. Moreover, they can only spare 20% of infra resources required for data alone anf they want us to make that enough for all environments, all components, all backups, all databases,... You get the pic.
The leader of the meeting semi silently mumbled to other participants 'Well then I'm afrsid we can't make a full migration in time.. Only partial. That's very unfortunate, very. That's why we should not have incopetent vendors [*glancing at us*]'
somehow we agreed we'll get the resources mid-November and we should be thankful for him bcz he'll have to pull some strings for... us..
I left the meeting with my fists squeezed so hard! But it's okay, we got smth useful: resources and start date. Although it leaves us with less than a month to do smth requiring a month for a sunny-day scenario. Nvm, still doable.
Last week we get an email that resources will be available at the beginning of December [after deadline] and we should start a full migration no sooner than Nov 12. Which leaves us with 50% of our estimated fucking optimistic scenario time and not enough resources to even move a single db.
Fuck I hate politics in dev... Is it wrong for me to want to tie them to a pole, set them on a veeery slow fire and take a piss on them while they're screaming their shitty lungs out? I'd enjoy the view and the scream. I know I would. And while enjoying I might be tempted to take a burning 20cm diameter wooden stick and shove it up their assholes. Repeatedly. Round-robin. Promissing them I'll take it out in 5 seconds and pulling it out after 2 minutes.
Can I?8 -
Reading over at zerohedge.
And I just wanted to comment on what this one guy posted:
"People that show up on time, dressed to work, not stoned. People that don't stop in the middle of the day to take care of personal matters. People that deliver to the right location. People that don't steal or damage product.
We pay well over the national average for final mile truck drivers. 80% of the ones you get are worthless. The ones that do a good job we reward handsomely to keep them. We have had open reqs for two years now that we can't fill at just about any wage. "
If all the people you hire leave, or no one wants to work for you for any wage, the problem isnt the pool of new hires. The problem is you.
Like a certain fast casual chain that claim they train their employees, and then just toss line cooks on the line and scream at everyone on the line.
Saw it while I was at an interview. Seen it in other
Train your fucking people.
"Good" is now a synonym for "people I dont want the expense of training, and people trained at someone elses expense."
Train your fucking people or gtfo of busines because you have no business being in business otherwise.2 -
Having a narcissist as a friend can depreciate your mental energy so much that you just want to scream "fuck off... nobody gives a fuck about you".
but you know doing that will scatter the little fantasy world they surround themselves with and open them to a harsh reality.
so for me, I just go with the flow6 -
i hate you, you and you AHHHHHH
This doesnt have to make sense.
This is a freakin rant for god's sake, not a pull request. I'm not tryna be the best ranter?? Dont mind this rant. Just scroll. B if u can only hear my scream right now from the other side of the world, it sure can cause another big bang.
F u, this sht, (oh ya it's profanity, i got no better term for what im feelin, gahh please rip my head off) and that too, and this one too, all of u
I HATE ALL OF YOU. I BLAME ALL OF YOU FOR ALL MY INCONSISTENCIES. YE, IM TIRED OF TAKING ACCOUNTABILITY. F THAT SHT COZ IT JUST RAISES EXPECTATIONS. I CAN'T EVEN MEET THE DEADLINES I SET FOR MYSELF.
The hell are ambitions and all that "dream life" they tryna sell. Those won't even matter when I can barely get my sht together. UGH. I haven't even seen my friends, the SUN, trees and all normal people things. Dang, I want fried chicken. I haven't had one for a while. I guess I should end this rant here and order one.
I must just be hungry, no?3 -
Deploying a web app to IIS, and it's the first time I've configured it on my own. I'm so horribly confused, send help1
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Anybody notice spam is just getting worse and worse? Fucking scum bags spamming me every year about conferences for my current company. I also get a bunch of scum bag spam on my home addresses. One account is practically brand new. I made the mistake of contacting robin hood trading on this account and now I get stupid scam spam on there.
I want to stay professional on the pro emails, but I just want to scream and call them of a bunch scum bags.
If someone wanted to do humanity a favor it would be depopulating spammers from the Earth. This would lower frustration levels on the planet immediately. Scammers and spammers are all the same.2 -
It's fucking 14th already in India. People are already celebrating valentine's day and shit on Facebook. And here I am raising for code review on fucking Crucible with half a thumb tip missing.
Motherfucking fuck my life.
I just want to go to the fucking roof and scream my lungs out. Fuck!!!2 -
This code is huge ! THAT MEANS IT HAS HUGE BUGS !
FIX AND PATCH !
FIX AND PATCH YOUR BUGS !
Basically the reason I want to work on a big codebase one day is to be able to scream that
Winks if you get the reference (just so you know, I didn't read it fully)2 -
I don't really care that the government is watching me scream at my TV during the Bachelorette finale. If they want to watch me get way too emotionally invested in a staged relationship circus, let them watch.2
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Sometimes while in my office I just want to scream! Not out of frustration, but just to wake myself up to get motivated to start my work for the day. Is it just just me?1
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so i'm sitting here staring inwardly at the learning rate optimizer...
i think it works
but i find myself wanting to scream at the nuances of the method being hidden from me
I know its probably fairly simple.
i want to write my own.
i want to plot neat graphs that give me metrics at the learning results for each epoch showing how much closer the values are getting to the training data some neat spiral of values and lines and flashy too.
but i feel.
...welll
strangely lackluster and a tad paralyzed for some reason. partly because it feels like i've done this all before... sigh.
on the topic of things I already did.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/...
can you believe they made this bullshit into A TV SHOW ? IN THIS WEIRD ASS HYPERSENSITIVE ENVIRONMENT ? THIS RAPE WEIRDOS WET DREAM ? 5 SEASONS AT LEAST.
GOD WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS COUNTRY ? ITS EITHER ADULT MEN WATCHING RUGRATS OR THIS SHIT !2 -
I need a place where i can put fck in some moments. I dont really want to scream it out. What do you guys do in these situations?6
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I work in an agile environment and I act as scrum master. There is one team member I have been trying to get on the rails for two years now. Today she went off at standup and one other team member commented it was like listening to a diary entry. It’s true. I’ve been to agile open hours with this problem so many times- glad we are only in the office two days so I can mute myself and react. Anyone else have team members taking standup meetings hostage? I just want to scream !!!2
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No matter how much trickery is added
No matter how many distractions
In the end if even one person deviates
They may as well be punished
Because they likely did or enabled something wrong by trying to cause a check that distracted someone important
And a person who is caught cannot be helped by their fellows right away if at all because it associates them with the crime
Imagine the horror of one of us fully enabled catching one of them doing something horrible
The loud scream of fury the last thing they heard before the icy feeling of metal entering their body is experienced and noone could help them
Outside very specific times and places the best that could be accomplished is a temporary suspension of punishment
Eventually because of how convoluted things have become punishment will be effect
Now I want to smile
And act appropriately
Because I need to
I'm so happy
And I can't believe this is happening to me3 -
Well.... Bad documented API, ehmm... thinking to fast, not noticing an id that is sent with the 'get' function... 5 hours later, 2 minute fix because I had an EUREKA moment. Fucking shitting heck, these are the fucking moments in life you want to scream your body out and kill yourself.2
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I just want to scream at these retards
A decade apart and their simple stupid asses are still smiling brainlessly about doing the same thing playing their stupid weird code crap over and over
LabotomiZed crazy fucking garbage !!
Until they showed up in this state no two days were the same now all of them are because they’re not alive
They’re not human
And they’re not relevant
They are happy tucked up slaves that liars use to manipulate everyone through their brainless smiling doopty doo bull shit !2
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