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I think I'll never going to get a devRant stress ball, so i made this instead with my pretty low budget (0.5$).
18 -
We had a Commodore64. My dad used to be an electrical engineer and had programs on it for calculations, but sometimes I was allowed to play games on it.
When my mother passed away (late 80s, I was 7), I closed up completely. I didn't speak, locked myself into my room, skipped school to read in the library. My dad was a lovely caring man, but he was suffering from a mental disease, so he couldn't really handle the situation either.
A few weeks after the funeral, on my birthday, the C64 was set up in my bedroom, with the "programmers reference guide" on my desk. I stayed up late every night to read it and try the examples, thought about those programs while in school. I memorized the addresses of the sound and sprite buffers, learnt how programs were managed in memory and stored on the casette.
I worked on my own games, got lost in the stories I was writing, mostly scifi/fantasy RPGs. I bought 2764 eproms and soldered custom cartridges so I could store my finished work safely.
When I was 12 my dad disappeared, was found, and hospitalized with lost memory. I slipped through the cracks of child protection, felt responsible to take care of the house and pay the bills. After a year I got picked up and placed in foster care in a strict Christian family who disallowed the use of computers.
I ran away when I was 13, rented a student apartment using my orphanage checks (about €800/m), got a bunch of new and recycled computers on which I installed Debian, and learnt many new programming languages (C/C++, Haskell, JS, PHP, etc). My apartment mates joked about the 12 CRT monitors in my room, but I loved playing around with experimental networking setups. I tried to keep a low profile and attended high school, often faking my dad's signatures.
After a little over a year I was picked up by child protection again. My dad was living on his own again, partly recovered, and in front of a judge he agreed to be provisory legal guardian, despite his condition. I was ruled to be legally an adult at the age of 15, and got to keep living in the student flat (nation-wide foster parent shortage played a role).
OK, so this sounds like a sobstory. It isn't. I fondly remember my mom, my dad is doing pretty well, enjoying his old age together with an nice woman in some communal landhouse place.
I had a bit of a downturn from age 18-22 or so, lots of drugs and partying. Maybe I just needed to do that. I never finished any school (not even high school), but managed to build a relatively good career. My mom was a biochemist and left me a lot of books, and I started out as lab analyst for a pharma company, later went into phytogenetics, then aerospace (QA/NDT), and later back to pure programming again.
Computers helped me through a tough childhood.
They awakened a passion for creative writing, for math, for science as a whole. I'm a bit messed up, a bit of a survivalist, but currently quite happy and content with my life.
I try to keep reminding people around me, especially those who have just become parents, that you might feel like your kids need a perfect childhood, worrying about social development, dragging them to soccer matches and expensive schools...
But the most important part is to just love them, even if (or especially when) life is harsh and imperfect. Show them you love them with small gestures, and give their dreams the chance to flourish using any of the little resources you have available.22 -
My mother forced me to buy winrar when I was ~10. They saw the licence popup every time I would open minecraft.jar to install a mod.
They are big anti-piracy supporters and so they thought I pirated winrar.
Well.... So for my punishment for "pirating" winrar, they made me buy it with my birthday money...
I moved to 7zip
Then linux.
Now I'm happy.8 -
I'm 40 years old today. Feels strange.. and getting older as a developer is not an advantage at all. But I got a wonderful little baby, a wife and a job I (almost always) like! So happy birthday to me 😊16
-
26 years ago Linus Torvalds sent out this message to the comp.os.minx newsgroup.
Hello everybody out there using minix -
I’m doing a (free) operating system (just a hobby, won’t be big and
professional like gnu) for 386(486) AT clones. This has been brewing
since april, and is starting to get ready. I’d like any feedback on
things people like/dislike in minix, as my OS resembles it somewhat
(same physical layout of the file-system (due to practical reasons)
among other things).
I’ve currently ported bash(1.08) and gcc(1.40), and things seem to work.
This implies that I’ll get something practical within a few months, and
I’d like to know what features most people would want. Any suggestions
are welcome, but I won’t promise I’ll implement them :-)
- Linus
PS. Yes — it’s free of any minix code, and it has a multi-threaded fs.
It is NOT protable (uses 386 task switching etc), and it probably never
will support anything other than AT-harddisks, as that’s all I have :-(.
Fast forward to today and Linux has more than 12 000 contributors from over 1300 companies that contribute to the Linux kernel.
The Linux Foundation released a fairly detailed progress report, including an infographic which I was tempted to include here but you can view it in it’s original context here.
While you’re over there, remember you can be a sponsor of the Linux Foundation too.
Happy Birthday Linux and a giant thanks to not only Linus but every single one of the contributors that have taken part of it over the years.6 -
I was just scrolling down a Facebook feed and a part of a picture with Linus Torvalds appeared.
- Hell no! Not again, 2016, just fuck off already!!
And then... "Happy birthday!"
My heart skipped a beat...
6 -
I just feel that I have to get this of my chest, because this have really me and my family really negative.
It have destroyed my will to be happy, sort of.
Well, my father have some kind of control behaviour. My whole life he has been angry on stuff that does not really matter
and I have always been the one that get all the shit - because I am the oldest. I was never allowed (maybee 3-4 times between age 8-15) to have any friends
over or stay with friends over night or after school. Because they "where bad and I would become like them".
I am happy that I meet my wife 6 years ago and moved away from home when I was 20, I kinda fled the situation from home to start my own life.
My father has always hated when boy/men had long hair and alot of beard - but that is something I always wanted to have. So when I moved from home
I start to let everything grow.
Two years ago, things got really fucked up when I did not shave all my beard of and cut down my hair because my mom had birthday. I did it the week after
because my brother graduated from school and we where going to visit, we did not want a repeat the situation from a couple of weeks before. After that I got
another job as a Linux sysadmin and started to grow the hair and beard again.
Last monday, my dad called and said that I am not welcome to visit them anymore. I am a "bad example" for my sibling
and he also said "you brother and sister does not feel so good (my sister fainted a couple of days before, which I did not know) so I have no time to care about you and your family"
I was stunned, I really wish that this was a joke but it is'nt.
I have always been bashed because of the choices I make in my life and for my own family (wife, and two kids + one more kid any day now)
When I choose to work with something that I love, they said that I am stupid because they basically think "that the PC is full of SATAN".
When they realized that I make more money than my parents combined they went silent.
I just wanted to write this shit of my chest, it is really fucked up and I am starting to loose the ability to have feelings - if you know what I mean.
Thank you devrant, for being one of the fun things I do, when I read all the rage, fucked up stories, hate, and so on. I do not feel alone :)
PS: I promise you, that you guys/gals will be the first one to know when my new kiddo arrives20 -
So that's how my girlfriend wished me a happy birthday.. she's a chemist
<?php
$happy="Happy";
$bday="Birthday";
$to="To";
$you="You";
$dear="Dear";
$boyfriend="Joseph";
for($i=0;$i<4;$i++){
if($i!=2)
echo $happy." ".$bday." ".$to." ".$you."<br>";
else
echo $happy." ".$bday." ".$dear." ".$boyfriend."<br>";
}
?>18 -
So we had this girl working with us as a graphic designer, she has a great sense of humor and pretty much impossible to piss her off
So April 1st is considered "a fool's day" here, on March 31 i sent an official looking email to everyone ( minus the seniors ) in our office saying how she's kinda shy about having her birthday on April 1st and everyone should wish her so she wouldn't feel awkward about it
Needless to say her actual birthday is not in April
So when she came to office on 1st, everyone started wishing her and singing Happy Birthday, she spent whole day explaining to everyone that came to wish
It was awkward as hell and pretty hilarious 😂😂10 -
Every company should give a day off to employees for their birthdays.. Is it to much I'm asking for???
Well, happy birthday to me 🎉🎉13 -
Since no one has mentioned it - Happy birthday, Linux.
And thank you, who goes through fire and water debugging this enormous creature (this could've been worse, right?) -
Dad: "Happy birthday"
(hands over a box)
"here's your cake, now bake it"
Me: "Wha?"
fast forward to today, its now a linux meme1 -
🎂🎈
Linus torvalds announcing his humble new (hobby) OS to minix newsgrp on this day 25yr ago .. Rest, my folks, is history!
Happy Birthday Linux
-
theNox.age++
I wanted to screenshot some of the birthday wishes that were printed for me on the discord server early this morning but they're spread too much, thanks anyway! That was very cute of you all. Only people from devRant actually bothered to wish me a Happy Birthday this early (maybe I influenced it a little bit ... 😂) But it's true
Everyone remember that ThatDude's Birthday is on January 28th 😉15 -
So my girlfriend decided to surprise me with this cake... I'm happy with it but I feel violated as I'm PHP guy not .NET
13 -
2AM and a birthday party of my BELOVED mother that I have to attend tomorrow in the middle of bumfuck. And I'm not sleeping, oh no.. because "family obligations" require me to get her a present on 2 days notice. I'm making her something very simple, some LED's displaying her new age, powered by a lithium cell and some charge-boost-protection controller. So I need to make a mesh to place the LED's to make those characters.
Measuring the size of the project box, cut it out.. started drawing the numbers on it. Not satisfied and ain't nobody got time for that. Guess I'll just print something out. Drew a little image with some text on my tablet, sent it to the printer. Black apparently doesn't want to print anymore even though it's still fucking full.
HP YOU CERTIFIED MOTHERFUCKERS!!! How fucking difficult can it be to make a printer and make it into something that doesn't shit on me every fucking time I want to use it?! Why do I have to deal with your shit, on top of my mother's?! WHY?!!!!
Fuck me. Happy birthday to my mother, and silently I wish that it's her last one. The bitch wouldn't - no she didn't - piss on me even when I was on fire!! Where were you "dear family member" when I was homeless, huh?! WHERE WERE YOU, WHEN I STOOD ON TOP OF A BRIDGE, READY TO END MY LIFE AND BEGGED TO YOU TO ALLOW ME TO STAY IN YOUR HOME FOR THE NIGHT?! Mother my fucking ass. A blood bond that I wish I never had! And that I have to work for now, because you fucking bitch can't even possibly think as far into the future as to invite your peers for a birthday party.. I dunno, maybe a week in advance, like a sensible human being would? At least she's improving, my little sister's and brother's birthdays she just invited me for the day before. And I also had to get a present ready for, in the middle of the fucking night. Fucking hell!!!12 -
Client: hey ***, happy birthday can you help me fixing....
Me thinking: hell no, i deal with yall fuckers 364 days a fucking year and yall can't leave me the hell alone for one cocksucking day. I need this one damn day a year not dealing with yall assholes where i don't snap and drive 300 fucking miles to not drive a nail in a broomstick and drive it up your fucking asdls6 -
Steve Wilhite... The man who changed the world with his software: the GIF.
Today, is GIF's 30th birthday (15th June 1987)!!!!
Happy Birthday
6 -
rant, but not an IT kind... okay, maybe not even a rant, more like depressive rambling:
in 3 days, I'll turn 29.
i'm living with my mom, in the apartment where I was born, in the room i've been living since I was born (with the exception of 2 attempts to move out which together lasted 9 months).
my theoretical monthly income should/could be around 4000€, based on my skills and experience.
but I'm a (manic)-depressive, chronically lonely idiot loser (and the manic phases come more and more rarely in recent years), so
my practical average monthly income fluctuates from 0 to about 200.
i am unable to keep a job for more than 4 months, so after being fired from about 20 or so of them since I was 18, it takes immense amounts of mental and emotional energy to even start looking for one now... so I usually don't.
i've been about 12000€ in debt for the past 8 or so years, half of which is just debt collector fees.
it's kinda funny, for years, i've been unable to solve a debt which theoretically amounts to 3 months of my theoretical achievable salary.
my father, who just left without a word of explanation when I was 18, has decided this is not viable anymore, so I'm supposed to move out by 10th of next month, "either to some cheap rooming house, or under the bridge, I don't care", as he put it.
I can't remember how it feels to exist a single hour without feeling existential dread and dreading each next day, not knowing what to do or if i'll even be able to try and do something, because this feeling is so strong that it often blocks me from being able to do anything. i just shiver most of the time that i'm awake, feeling like you feel few minutes before puking and crying at the same time. and that feeling is my "how are you?", "you know... normal".
i can't remember what it feels to feel any other way and can't even imagine it, and can't imagine that I'll ever achieve any less shit feeling.
literally all of my social contact consists of going out once to twice a month with the only 2 friends and 2 aquaintances I have who have the time and will to spend it with me.
oh, and hiding in my room, avoiding talking to my mom, because each time we talk she just reminds me what a piece of shit failure I am, and tells me how it's not that hard to change it, I just have to stop being lazy and start working for it.
she's... kind and caring about it, which somehow maybe makes it even worse.
i have about 10 almost complete game designs, each of them at least 50% more original and interesting (at least to me) than the things that are coming out for the past 10 years, being lauded as "the most original and unique".
I have been trying to make them, ANY of them, since I was 18, but I always lose all the drive and resolve and energy in like 4 months, because it's like trying to build a city on my own on a deserted island. too big for one person, but there was never anyone to help me. closest I ever got was one of my friends telling me "i've been thinking many times that i'd love to work on some project with you, if I had the time".
and second time, when I actually found an artist I was going to pay, and he was awesome, and after two weeks of me telling him how awesome what he does is and how it fits the project and my ideas perfectly, he backed out saying "i'm afraid I can't do the quality you require from me".
never ever in my life did I get actual help with something I actually wanted or tried to do.
i have no idea how it feels to have someone working with me on something I actually consider interesting and meaningful, on any of the things which I wanted to make, which made me learn programming.
I've learned graphics and animation and everything going into game making pipeline on my own because I realized nobody will ever help me, so I'll have to do all of it on my own.
I've tried to make a kickstarter once, but I started crying hysterically in the middle of writing it, because I felt like a begging piece of failure shit, even more than usual, so I deleted it.
most of people treat me like shit failure unworthy and undeserving of living, precisely as I myself know I deserve to be treated, because that's what I am, but when I ask for permission to kill myself, since I see no other solution to stop being a burden, they get angry at me that I'm just emotionally blackmailing them. when I afterwards ask them "so help me in any way to do any of the projects i want/need to do", they respond they've got no time for that.
when I talk about all of this, I get told to stop whining.
happy 29th birthday, me, a piece of shit who should've never survived this long, who should've never been born in the first place.
yay.
also, I know this is not the kind of crap that's supposed to be posted here, but i've got nowhere else. sorry.47 -
So it's December 31st. Also my birthday, but no one is going to celebrate it. Wish I could revert to an earlier version of the program to when people were happy to celebrate it like, friends and family.14
-
Hey Guys :)
I'm new to devRant and I already read a lot of interesting stories and jokes and now I would like to post the first thing myself. :D
I would like to present you my new Android app "WhatsBirthday", which I made in order to solve a big problem of mine, friends (and probably the whole world xD). I have (as a Google User) all my contacts (with their birthdays) in the cloud and from there on my calendar. Sadly the Google calendar doesn't allow notifications for the contacts birthdays (I mean whyyy?!). And even if I take a look at my calendar, I always have to write these annoying birthday WhatsApp message to the people ... and these both were the problems I wanted to solve with my app.
So if you join the app, it will start a service (an Alarm / Alarmmanager for the professionals) which will take a look at the contacts every day at 6 am (can be set in the app). For each contact whose birthday is today, the application will send a push notification which if clicked will directly open the contacts WhatsApp chat and prepare a standard message with the name filled in, which could (in theory) directly send. For sure the app won't sends any messages by itself, but it gives you a template you can start working with.
And for sure, you can edit the template in the app & specify the messages for family and friends, which you can choose to use with the notification buttons.
So yeah, that's is and I hope I've aroused your interest ;) if you would like to download it: https://play.google.com/store/apps/...
I would be super happy if you could give me some feedback, it's one of my first apps and I would definitely like to improve it! Tanks in previous! :D
And I would like to say sorry for my bad English skills, I'm a German student :O if the translations in the app are not good, please tell me! ;)28 -
Windows is fucking amazing... Tried to disable and enable my audio drivers, prompted me to restart, i pressed cancel, fucker still did a restart. Best part is it started to do updates... For fucking 20 minutes until i forced it to shut down. After it turned on i didnt have any audio, enabled it and woo.. Another restar that wantwd to update...
Also happy birthday to devrant and to me5 -
if (MONTH === 1 & DAY === 18) {
alert("Bro, it's your birthday");
} else {
alert("Bro, just go away, you're nothing special 😅);
}12 -
Happy birthday Linux well I'm not gonna be like other with cake and words compile it yourself that's what gentoo is for.
So just happy birthday.1 -
Skipped the night, I feel like an old person now.
15 minutes later my wife steps in, happy 56th birthday.
I feel ancient right now!9 -
I hate cliched lines in office.
When someone I respect leaves the company I don't say "Good luck for your future. Keep in touch". I shake hands, look them in the eye and say "It's been an honor"
On a birthday I don't say "Happy Birthday". I say "May you grace the cover of Time magazine" or something else related to their aspirations.3 -
The nerdiest way to say happy birthday to someone? Tell them to paste atob("SGFwcHkgQmlydGhkYXkh") in the chrome console/firebug.3
-
Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me, happy biiirthday dear meee-eee, happy birthday to me! 🥳🎁🍰🎈6
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Linux my dear love oh happy 25 birthday i hoppe we will be friends forever yeah i know sometimes i say bad things on you because i was compiling custom kernel and you have problem with GPU drivers but thats ok i hoppe we will celebrate your 50 birthday toogether i know you have lots of distributions but i choose Arch linux2
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Happy birthday, Dr. Nabil Ali!
Today’s Google Doodle celebrates Egyptian pioneer of Arabic language computing, Dr. Nabil Ali, on his 82nd birthday. Dr. Nabil Ali’s innovations in the field of computational linguistics propelled the Arab world into the Information Age by creating programs that enabled computers to understand Arabic in digital form.
Dr. Nabil Ali was born in Cairo on this day in 1938. Expressing an interest in art at a young age, Mohamed was inspired to apply his creative passion for visual aesthetics to the world of engineering. After obtaining his PhD in Aeronautical Engineering at Cairo University, he spent over 20 years working as an engineer with the Egyptian Air Force, as well as with various computer and electronics companies throughout the world.
For Dr. Nabil Ali, digitization of Arabic, with its complex linguistic rules and morphology, was a way to connect Arabic speakers with the world.
Over the course of his career, Dr. Nabil Ali published a number of papers, books, and technical reports in support of the developments he was making in the field of computational linguistics. His work won him several awards, including the prestigious Saudi Arabian award, the King Faisal Prize, in 2012—recognizing his pioneering contributions to the Arabic Language and Literature.
5 -
I made a game (rather mod) called "wake up".
I should trademark it and whenever someone says or writes "wake up", I sue them.7 -
So I have this 13 year old cousin who's pretty determined to follow my footsteps as a developer someday. He really likes gaming and all internet stuffs. His future plans makes me happy since I may finally have a relative that is a developer. But darn it! He's kinda weird coz he still throws tanrums. One of his major tantrums(which happened again last night) is that he wants the wireless Karaoke machine to be turned off because he thinks that it's slowing down the internet. It was his sister's birthday party and the guests are partying. I've told him many times that the signal for the karaoke is different from that of the router which has nothing to do with the internet slowing down. It must be caused by q device that is updating some apps or whatever. We live in the philippines and our internet provider is quite fast but it has this stupid fair usage policy that caps our bandwidth to a minimum speed if we reach a certain amount of data usage. Since he goes to youtube everyday in 480 and 720p, I explained it to him that it was one of the causes.
Last night, I almost got triggered because I wanted him to believe about the wifi being different to that of the karaoke machine's radio and that it is not connected to the wifi and not using data. I also told him about different kinds of wireless signals which I studied as a Software Engineering student back then and yet he still doesnt believe me. And what almost triggered me is that i saw his steam client updating while watching youtube. I told him that was it. But instead of agreeing, he refused to believe me and just told me that steam is just updating and he's not downloading anything which made me think why he keeps going to youtube, because...he's not downloading. Oh God! Good luck to this kid. 😂5 -
We planted a blanket, pillow and full sized ambulatory mannequin to sleep under the desk of our software director. It was a deep desk with no visible parts showing unless you happened to look down.
After a meeting, he went into his office and sat down. About a minute later there was a very high pitched squeal and he came running out of his office to the amusement of several developers and managers outside. 😈1 -
Four years ago while still a newbey in Android Dev and still using the eclipse IDE which was hell to configure by adding Android plugins,my girlfriend had a birthday.
With my new found love of coding thought of developing a b-day app for her.With so little android knowledge I had a great idea the main activity would have her photo as the background and button which when clicked would show a toast saying happy b-day love.
After spending few minutes in Tutorial point and learning how to display a toast and setting click listeners on buttons I was good to go and compiled the app.
Later that evening I head to her room where her b-day was to be held with some of her lady friends .When presenting gifts I presented her gift said had one more surprise for her and asked for her phone and using bluetooth sent the apk to her phone.
Installing the app I was scared to death on seeing how my grey buttons were displaying on her 2.7 screen size since had no idea on designing for multiple screens.
Giving her back the phone she loved the app and felt like her superman in the room though not for long.Her lady friends had gone ahead took her phone and were critising the app:
Why can't I take a selfie
Why can't the app play a b-day song for her and this went on them not knowing how hurting that was.
Bumped on the lady who lead the onslaught on me and had to go down memory lane.Life is a journey.2 -
I'm basically an introvert. I've lived most of my childhood with my mother alone with few friends and the ones I had betreyed me real hard at some point. So how come that I'm now founding a startup, speaking in front of a big audience at meetups and have a nearly 60/40 work/social life?
At some point I decided to be more social. Making that decision alone had a huge impact. It took several years though, to implement this decision. Some day I cut off my draining social bounds and found energyzing relationships by simple doing what I wanted to do. I started to reach out and experiment with a lot of hobbies like bow casting and going to board games evenings. I made little steps. E.g bow casting is a sport where you don't necessarily interact with others within the sport, but you have the opportunity to interact about the sport.
A physiologist once told me the neat fact, that being an introvert is just an attribute that does not contradict the skill being socially involved. So it is possible with training and decisions to learn how to be more extroverted. For in introvert this is more exhausting and challanging, but definitely possible.
So today I balance my social life and work by visiting meetups, playing board games and all that stuff that makes me comfortable. There I get to know people with similar interests and similar struggle ;)
At some point the work was just not enough to be happy, I identified my missing social interactions as the root cause so I decided to change that.
On the other hand, don't think you have to be social. Don't think you have to care about everything others expect you to care about. It's bullshit. Don't care about that. Rather ask yourself what you want for yourself. Certainly a social life is part of that, but you alone decide how this will look like. E.g. After I decided hey I just don't give a fuck if you like cuddling your cat and when it's birthday is, several months or years later I started to be interested in these things from my own, not because some dippshit society construct expects me to care about it.
So to wrap up:
Introvert is an attribute, social life is a skill.
Deciding for yourself and giving a fuck about others is key.
It takes a shit load of time. But it works. -
Today is my birthday and my company as a present will make me work on disgusting legacy code, stored procedures, impossible to debug and convoluted as fuck.
And everything needs to be released yesterday...
Happy birthday motherfucker.1 -
!Rant
ninePlusTen($date = '29/11/2017') {
if(preg_match("/(29.11)|(11.29)/",$date){
$age++;
echo 'Happy birthday!';
}
}11 -
I have this guy at work who does pranks constantly, mostly towards his supervisor. Some of his more memorable ones:
- Placed a ballon at the wall behind the door + stuck a needle to the door in his supervisors office
- Hid a small speaker playing "happy birthday" nonstop inside the roof of his office
- Placed a box full of golf balls in our site manager's mail shelf, carved a hole in the box and waited.
- Threw an orange (yes, actual orange) at his supervisor, and hit him in the throat. Entertaining for everyone but them.1 -
You know what sucks?
Having birthday...Literally not an hour ago and nobody showing up...At least nobody who you really cared about. Only people around are there because they knew you some years ago and expect to get a free drink...
Wanna know what sucks even more??
Being heartbroken and even though you felt horrible because of that person it is my minute of the year and the most I wish is her being by my site. Caring about me and just wishing me happy birthday.
Definitely the worst birthday ever but at least I'm drunk so that's that.
I just wanted to get that off my chest. Bye and have a nice evening y'all.19 -
Happy birthday to my self. Away from my family and friends, alone in the city alone in the office pushing keys on keyboard to deliver the project.
It's been very difficult year for me, both physically and mentally.
I hope next year will be better than this.
Fuck you 2019.
PS: birthday and end year selfish.
14 -
...
Person me = new Person();
me.setAge(20);
int newAge = me.getAge();
System.out.println("Happy birthday! " +me.getName+ "You are now " newAge+ " years old!");
Happy birthday to me!😎🎊🎉🍻
(Probably stupid code 😂)10 -
First: happy birthday, devRant.
Second: the more I use it, the more I would like to see implemented as a block-chain, a la Steemit -
sales: we will need a sponsored blog for client XY, can you start working on it?
me: I am really busy I can't do it as soon as next wednesday.
sales: but I promised it will be ready for this tuesday (yes, two days ago)
me: do you have any specification?
sales: what is a specification?
---- Happy Birthday for me ----1 -
Today's my birthday... As usual, I worked in my office... At morning (approx 11:30AM) I received a call from my boss yelling cause a shit deadline and for some shit that I didn't sent to him (I already sent, the bastad was in vacation and didn't saw it)... His wife wished me happy birthday but the mother fucker didn't say a shit instead yelling during all day... Our relationship sucks cause he's a fucking bastard that doesn't know a shit of development process and I am done of his stupid shit... I fucking need to change my job!!!!13
-
As an exercise lets see how many different ways we can wish devRant Happy Birthday in code. Try not to copy peoples examples, use a different language or different method.
A couple of examples to start the process:
* LOLCODE *
HAI 1.3
LOL VAR R 3
IM IN YR LOOP
VISIBLE "Happy Birthday"!
IZ VAR LIEK 1?
YARLY
VISIBLE "Dear devRant"!
NOWAI
VISIBLE "to you"!
KTHX
NERFZ VAR!!
IZ VAR LIEK 0?
GTFO
KTHX
KTHX
KTHXBYE
* C *
#include <stdio.h>
#define HP "Happy birthday"
#define TY "to you"
#define DD "Dear devRant"
typedef struct HB_t { const char *s; const char *e;} HB;
static const HB hb[] = {{HP,TY}, {{HP,TY}, {{HP,DD}, {{HP,TY}, { NULL, NULL }};
int main(void)
{
const HB *s = hb;
while(s->start) { printf("%s %s", s->s, s->e); }
return 1;
}12 -
Happy Birthday devRant!! 🎂🎉 Can't believe we're at 30,000 users!! This community feels much smaller (I mean that in a good way)
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How to deal with situations when in work people are overstepping personal boundaries too much?
My situation is that 2 months ago I started working in a very small startup and it currently consist of 3 ceos(main ceo, marketing ceo, product manager) and 3 employees (backend, android and ios).
What I currently dread is tea breaks. There is one at monday before work which lasts for 1 hour. And there is another one at Friday after lunch which lasts 1 hour again. I hate these Friday talks about "what are your plans for the weekend" which then triggers a circlejerk of ppl trying to impress each other about what they are going to do on their weekends. Same happens on mondays they circlejerk about how their weekend was amazing.
My situation is that I came to this country just to get skills and make shit ton of money when Im at it. Besides my fulltime work, I also am freelancing part time in my previous gig and also Im managing 2 other hobbie projects. I like to keep myself occupied during weekends so they usually consist of shopping/pc repairs/gym/working on my hobbie projects.
So basically when I tell them what I've done over the weekend the ceo's don't seem to be impressed so they start suggesting me to do something else. I completely loose any motivation of sharing my personal life when they start telling me what to do with my life.
I don't feel like exploring the city or meeting new people since maximum Im going to stay in this country is 6-9 more months. Then I'm probably going back to my own country.
Anyways even overall, I started dreading this companies culture. The politeness is so fake. For example there is an employee which has worked 3 years for them and the ceos haven't even increased his salary. I joined 2 months ago and I get paid more than him! They dont value loyalty at all since immigrants can be replaced easily. Another example: 2 weeks ago it was my birthday and no one from ceos even shook my hand, for them it was normal to just say happy bd during a standup.
So fking weird. I feel like I'm seeing redflags every day and not sure how long more I can stay here.5 -
1. using "if... then... else..." When explaining something tru slack to non tech people
2. buying lamps i can program
3. dreaming abt my code
4. dreaming abt the solution
5. trying to make bot to send happy birthday msg -
So I was just about to tell you all how happy I am that it's my birthday, until I stumbled upon @DarkMelchiah s last rant, and suddenly I just felt like I couldn't write it any longer. It simply felt wrong. So to you @DarkMelchiah, I wish I could export some of my happiness to all of your classes and functions.
And also, hey, it's always okay to tell us about the sad things that happen! That's the wonder of DevRant! We're not just here to rant with you, we're here for support as well.
Btw Dark, my cat died last year, though I knew she would over a year before it happened. I totally get how you feal, but at the same time I guess I don't. All the goodynessieness to you!5 -
I have a 24 hours hackathon tomorrow (25 hours actually because of the time change).
I want to learn and create an app and I opted for xamarin as a development platform. Problem was: I didn't have enough space in my windows partition (it's a ~40Gb partition in a 128Gb ssd) so, as I am not using Ubuntu that much I simply deleted its partitions from Windows and installed visual studio with xamarin. I played a bit with it, everything was working fine, I switched it off and I was feeling great for my wonderful problem solving abilities and I was ready to go to bed to have a nice 10 hours sleep before the big event. I was about to sleep when I realised it was my cousin's birthday and I hadn't said "happy birthday" so I switch my computer back on and there I realised how much I had fucked up.
The grub wasn't working anymore and I couldn't boot.
I've just spent the last 3 or 4 hours trying to figure out how to make my computer boot normally using my housemates' laptops to create bootable USBs for Windows and Ubuntu
Thanks to some random commands in the trial version of Ubuntu I managed to disinstall the grub and make windows start but thanks to my experimentations while trying to fix the problem I am now waiting for visual studio + xamarin (~35Gb) to download and install again.
Tomorrow's gonna be great7 -
For a very short moment i thought i have 585++, but then i realized i just liked this many rants :D1
-
Today is the birthday of Sir M. Visvesvaraya, one of the greatest engineers of all time. In India, we celebrate his birthday as Engineers' day. Happy Engineers' day to all engineers here!1
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2 years back when I was onshore, we were in the bad situation due to the size and complexity of handling big webserivces simulators. A single change makes the build red hence the face of other developers too.
These simulators were created using J2EE and VM templates 5 years back. With the time, application and data size grown. We were supposed to maintain consistensy in dummy data accross the applications. But some programmers made a copy of these simulators to finish their applications fast and made the situation worst.
Finally one of the team member dare to use stubby4j to solve this problem. Choosing the stubby4j was a good decision as it was the specialized tool written to create simulators only. But as the stubby4j was not having all the features a simulator need, he customized it's build for our simulators. All the team members were happy.
After few weeks, I picked a story to transform other simulators using stubby4j. The story was previously closed as it was hard to implement in stubby4j. I ingonred the comment and started working on. I spent 2 weeks but couldn't solve the problem. I read the comment in between but It was very late to take the step back. I was not able to give proper status update in the daily standup. Other team members (working from offshore) were thinking that I'm just passing the time. However my manager handled the situation very well and asked if I need some help.
This was friday, I took the leave as it was my wife's birthday. We couldn't go out due to the bad weather. I was thinking about the code all the time. Hence I started to write a new utility to handle all the requirement a webseervice simulator need. I took 2.5 days to complete it. On Tuesday, I demoed it to the whole team. And published it as an opensource application "STUBMATIC". In few weeks I received the good response from other teams as well.
I'm a full time open source developer now. -
Merry Grav-Mass!
So I saw many „Merry Christmas“ posts here lately.
But many of you may have forgotten that 25th of December is the birthday of the greatest physician and mathematician of all time — Isaac Newton! So let's celebrate the existence of comprehensible physical laws!
One way to celebrate Grav-Mass is to decorate a tree with apples and other fruits. Glue them or attach them, but not too well! The idea is that occasionally a fruit should fall. Put them on the tree no more than 2 feet up, so that they won't get damaged or hurt anybody when they fall. Investigating and perfecting the methods for doing this is a great way expose a child to the process of scientifically studying the behavior of the physical world.
Merry Grav-Mass and happy New Year! 🍎
Further reading: https://stallman.org/grav-mass.html4 -
!rant
Hey guys...
It's finally working.
Just needed to upgrade the drivers.
Using RGBL + 3 28BYJ steppers.
Just have one tiny problem and need help...
The resolution isn't right... Instead of moving mms, if I send a move of 64mm (one stepper revolution) it just turns one time instead of moving 64mm... Where are the settings to change this?
Btw this is the best birthday present ever, from me to me :-D also... My parents bought me a 3D printer, waiting for it to arrive... Me happy today
34 -
Happy birthday to the best community for developers. Thanks for all the laughs, friends and good times you have brought us all.
-
Happy Birthday devRant. Still the best community for devs and future devs.
I hope this will still grow and become more recognized in the future1 -
void Birthday (int age){
cout<<"Happy Birthday\n";
if(age % 10 == 0)
{
cout<<"Holy shit, you've been alive for "<<age/10<<" decades"}
}2 -
public class Celebrations {
public static void WishHappyBirthday(String toWho) {
if(toWho == null || toWho.isEmpty()){
System.out.println("Can't wish" +
"happy birthday to" +
"someone that doesn't exist");
return;
}
System.out.println("Happy Birthday " +
toWho + "!!!");
}
}1 -
When your code is accepted after you forgot about the comment about your boss being a Tw*t... Surprise.
1 -
!rant
If (LocalDateTime.now().toString(DateTimeFormatter.format(“yyyy-MM-dd”)).equals(“2017/10/17”)){
human.age++;
System.out.println(“Happy birthday old bastard!”);
}4 -
var longRant = true;
I am dextel2, if you know me, might as well know that I'm facing from quite issues, work issues personal issues and health issues
Recently broke up with my girlfriend, because I was or may be am too coward to carry on or maybe too scared from the future or our future. Initially, the break-up was mutual and understandable, this naturally affected my focus on work.
To overcome this and work issues it took me a week or so, meanwhile I mailed her few gifts for her birthday (2 weeks before her birthday), I didn't or nearly didn't wished and after wishing her she said something which affected me even worse, I don't know if we are even friends, this incident took place 3 days before, and its still fresh for me but somehow I'll overcome.
Maybe that's why I changed my username.
My parents, especially my mother knows there's something wrong with me and advised my to be happy (funny, right? because this was after I changed my username) .
I was not able to focus on work, the boss called in and gave me "improve yourself or if" pep talk, and while that duration (maybe before) I've been partially blind (thanks to my meds for epilepsy), I'll consult soon to my doctor when he is back from his vacation.
As of now, writing this rant I have no regrets so far, the only thing is that I want to be happy, maybe I am depressed, maybe this is due to her (can't really blame her).
Please help, how would you handle such stress and be happy?5 -
I joined less that a week ago so have not had the pleasure of seeing devRant grow up from birth. Happy birthday devRant I hope to be around until your next 🎂2
-
Hey you just reminded me it's my Mom's birthday too! Happy birthday devRant (and Mom, but my Mom is not on devRant, that I know of, yet)!
-
Happy Christmas and happy new years. 2018 was not a good year for me. Many project got delayed and not happy with my performance. I wanted to learn many thing and do many things but was not able to achieve those things.
I don't even feel like enjoying my birthday anymore. (It's on 27).
Let's hope the 2019 will be better than this dumpster fuck 2018.1 -
DateTime now = DateTime.Today;
int age = now.Year - bday.Year;
MessageBox.Show("Happy " + age.ToString() + " birthday, devRant!"); -
They had a meeting without me for a production release that was happening tomorrow. Rescheduled the release on my wife's birthday without asking anyone. This was the response when I let this known "Happy Birthday honey, you get a night without me."1
-
It's my fucking chonky cat's (call him Cody, Chonko or fat bitch) birthday today so wish him happy birthday and send gifts 🐱🐱🐱5
-
i just wanted to greet @NullNVoid a happy birthday! i know its already past your birthday there cause yknow timezone differences but hey its still ur bday here xd im still looking forward to that graduation prank youre planning 😏 surprise us all and happy hacking!4
-
Happy 5th Birthday CoderDojo 🎉😊
'You're opening doors for them' - The community that encourages kids to code is five today
http://jrnl.ie/2980639
-
Happy Engineers' Day to all engineers here!
Sir M. Visvesvaraya, one of the greatest engineers of all time, was born this day in 1861. His contributions to the society through engineering is priceless. We celebrate his birthday as engineers' day here in India. -
Jordan Castillo: Happy birthday sire.
Eddie: Thank you Maestro.
Jordan Castillo: 😊 How do you feel now that your life's code just ran past an age++?
*10 minutes later.
Jordan Castillo: Oh what? I didn't see your reply.
Jordan Castillo: You maybe forgot to echo it out.
Eddie: Oh well Jordan, I feel like an iteration I guess.2
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