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Love how a teacher of mine described IO wait for CPUs on a blackboard.
"That's calculation time." *draws three small lines on the blackboard* And this is IO wait. *draws a really long line, goes out of the class, out of the school, comes back* "Yes, this is IO wait. No matter how good and fast your CPU in your gaming PC is, if your hard drive is shit, everything is shit."5 -
so I called dell to ask a question about a laptop. after navigating their anoying automated system, I get a guy who can barely speak english. I ask my question which he didnt understand until I asked 4 more times. he finally understands and says "please hold on while I search. 10 minutes go by and I ask if he's still there. he says "yes, hold on" I finally ask how his search is going after another 5 minutes. he says "I couldn't find anything on google regarding your question... really dude!?!? I already searched google and came up with nothing helpfull. you're Dell and this is a Dell product. know your shit!7
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*girl in office call IT guy*
Girl: my computer isn't working
Guy: what happened?
Girl: screen is blank.. nothing on it
Guy: ok... I'll replace the monitor (starts unplugging)
Girl: wait.. wait.... I didn't took backup yet..
Guy: *face plam*6 -
Wait... wait....., I'm the sole developer at a company does that make me the Lead Developer and Senior Developer. TIME TO UPDATE THE CV13
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Skype, on my laptop, updated the other day. It was like: 'Oh hey we're downloading skype for windows 10!', and I was like 'oh yeah? cool! ... wait, I'm not on Windows 10 WAIT WHAT ARE YOU DOING NO WAIT NO STOP'
And now it doesn't work. Yay!3 -
I created a Clinic Wait Time app that shows patients their estimated wait time. These are displayed on TVs at all of our clinics!
7 -
So following from this rant:
https://devrant.io/rants/618679/...
Warning long rant ahead
I resigned and my last day is tomorrow, I've released the app updates a week ago, patched a couple bugs for iOS.
My boss and the idiot who can't open an email on his phone go off to use the app as part of some training thing for the company.
I got a call yesterday saying the Android app has issues and I proceeded to ask my boss what type of phone they have:
"Samsung and Huawei"
I thought okay I need more info "what type of phone..." He responds with wouldn't have a clue....
I can't see the phone, didn't get a screenshot or anything like that but I'm expected to just know what the phone is.
My boss goes on to say yeah it's the app (he is literally the most computer illiterate person I could think of aside from guy who can't open emails on phone, how the fuck do you know that?)
Me: "From all the testing I've done the app works"
Look if you want a more robust error free update hire more than one developer I can't test every single fucking use case to determine the app is 100% bug free, I've tested on at least 10 phones before releasing the update just to be absolutely sure I got everything done and okay I missed something.
So I proceed to get my boss to tell the guy who has the issue I'll sign him up to the testing app to find out the cause and hopefully fix the issue, I setup crashlytics send the email and get a call from my boss saying the guy didn't get the email.
Well okay is it my problem that we have two emails for the same person where one of them is a typo? No it's the guy who asked and wrote down the email instead of actually forwarding a blank email from him to be absolutely sure, I sent the email to both just to be on the safe side.
I swear if he is another idiot who can't open emails on his phone well I can't help him, app works on my phone and the phones at work.
I need a phone where it doesn't work so I can get a solution I know works but if I have to deal with these idiots that can't even check an email how the fuck do I do that?
Sorry about the formatting just needed to get this off my chest before I start work.
Oh and I get asked "so who'll fix the bugs when you're gone" well I can't (in reality I'm not working for free, I'm not traveling 1 1/2 commute time to fix one bug for free, go hire someone you think will love to work for minimum wage and let's see if this guy can do what I did)8 -
I was just restarting my laptop to present a presentation in the class...
And windows started updating automatically...
And I was like wait wait wait wait...
And teacher said,"what up with that".6 -
From 'Javascript' then 'jquery' 😬 then 'angular 1' 😐..wait their is 'angular 2' damn this just a new framework compared to angular 1.(back-end) 'Nodejs' 😩, wait! you have to learn 'Express' after sometime upgrade to 'Hapi' wait now am on 'loopback' can't we just have one standard framework 😣😣😣
12 -
This guest at our house was checking out the whiteboard in my room. It had some JavaScript code i wanted to keep in mind and some ReactJs stuff
Him: you know, I can recommend you a book, if you're into reading?
Me: well, I don't have that much time to read, I prefer online tutorials
(We're interrupted at that point)
(Later at dinner)
Me: which book were you gonna recommend me btw
Him: there's this psychology book I'm reading...
Me: oh.3 -
Steps to work on android studio -
1] Open android studio
2] Wait for an hour.
3] Wait for the build.
4] Build failed.
5] Get frustrated, close it.
6] Repeat 1-5.10 -
In the Ruhr area (Germany) we have some very old, very strange words with strange meanings. One of those words is ‚Prutscher‘.
A Prutscher refers to a person who does things but never gets a good result, due to lack of knowledge or simple carelessness. Most of the time, Prutschers are people who are interested in certain subjects and often work in the related jobs, but who lack the motivation to properly train themselves, learn what there is to learn and to always keep up with their technologies .
Here are a few examples I've stumbled upon so far in my career:
- Developers in their 60's who read a book about PHP 25 years ago and decided to become a software developer. Since then haven't read anything about it. Who then now build huge spaghetti monoliths for large companies, in which they prefix every function, every variable and constant with their initials and, of course, use Hungarian notation.
- People who read half a fucking tutorial about <insert any fancy js framework here> and start blogging/tweeting about it
- Senior web developers who need to be told what the fuck CORS is and who can't even recognize CORS related errors in their browser console.
- People who have done nothing else for 18 years than building websites for companies on Wordpress 1.x and writing few lines of PHP and Javascript from time to time. Those who are now applying as a frontend dev due to the difficult economic situation and are surprised that they are not accepted due to a lack of experience.
- Developers who are the only ones working on Windows in the team and ask their Linux colleagues for help when Windows starts bitchin.
- People who have been coding for 30 years, have worked with ~42 languages and don't know the difference between compiled and interpreted languages in the job interview.
- Chief developers at a large newsletter-publisher who think it's a good idea to build your own CMS (due to a lack of good existing ones, of course).
- Developers who have been writing PHP applications for multinational corporations for 25 years and cannot explain how PHP is executed. They don't even know what the fucking OPcache is, let alone fpm. FML
- People who call themselves professional developers but never ever heard of DRY, KISS, boy-scout rule, 12-Factor App, SOLID, Clean Code, Design Patterns, ...
- Senior developers wondering why the bash script won't run on their fucking Windows machine.
- Developers who consider Typescript to be a hindrance and see no value in it.
- Developers using ftp for deployments in 2022
- Senior Javascript Developer applying for a job and for whom Integer is a primitive data type in JS.
- Developers who prefer to code without frameworks and libraries because they are only an unnecessary burden/overhead and you can quickly code everything up yourself.
- Developers who think configuring their server(s) manually is a good idea.
You fucking Prutscher. What you have already cost me in terms of work and nerves. I can't even put it into words how deeply I despise you. I have more respect for the chewing gum that has been stuck in my damn trash can for the past 3 years than I do for you guys. You are the disgrace of our profession. I will haunt you in your dreams and prefix every fucking synapse of your brain with MY initials.
As a well-known german band once sang in a very fitting song: I wouldn't even piss on you if you were on fire.
If you recognized yourself in one of the examples here: FUCK YOU!29 -
"restarts Windows machine*
*windows updates, hah fuck you ima take 30 mins to shut off and turn on again*
*installing NSA... Please wait*
*windows has detected a problem, please wait*
......... I just wanted to restart it
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That moment when you've tried everything and nothing works and the only logical thing left to do is post a question on stackoverflow;
&wait;
&obviously rant on devRant while you wait;
5 -
Can't wait to get my phone screen repaired so I can finnaly get that inverted panda! :-D
Oh wait I'll never be able to afford to fix the screen because Australia hates hiring IT technicians :-)
8 -
I (senior dev) just went out with colleagues from work. We started drinking what eventually led to some dancing and partying. After a lot of drinks one of the junior/intermediate devs told me that he was surprised i am not a conservative bourgeois like he supposed i am based on his work-experience with me and that he can have actually have fun with me.
MAN I AM FUCKING SORRY THAT I AM PROFESSIONELL AND THAT I DISTINGUISH BETWEEN MY PRIVATE AND MY PROFESSIONAL LIVE!3 -
Xiaomi makes you wait for 360 hours before they can allow you to unlock their phone's bootloader! Now I'm just seated here dealing with bloatware as I wait for 2 weeks to do a 30 second operation. It's 2018, come on!6
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that moment when you get an idea about awesome app to publish in the play store, but you remember how many other 100 ideas that are waiting for your move to write code, designing. so you give up, now you have 101 ideas waiting...1
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This is How I actually feel using Windows again after some time.. please wait. It will Just take One Moment.
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I have reached a stage in my career that when my code works in the first try, I'm more skeptical than excited about it.1
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My message to all devs.
If your boss emails you during the festive season, you owe no one a response. It can wait. Again, it can wait. Happy festive season nerds. -
Unreal Engine SDLC:
1. Start Epic
2. Wait
3. Start Unity
4. Wait
5. Open Project
6. Wait
7. Wait more
8. a bit longer...
9. (it usually crashes here, or freezes, in which case go to 1)
10. Game opened, make modifications in C++ codes
11. Wait VS to load
12. Wait VS to parse all the file in solution
13. Make changes
14. Compile
15. Run from Unreal
16. (sometimes, go to 9)
17. Goto 9
18. 9
19. Goto 9
20. Congrats on finishing the game, and losing your patience8 -
Disadvantages of coding after midnight... Was modifying a makefile for an assignment when suddenly:
$ make clean
> rm -f com/package1/*.class
> rm -f com/package2/*.java
wait..
WAIT NO
😢7 -
Devs: There is to much work for the team size, can we say no or wait to the business?
Mgmt: Here are some staff aug contractors.
Later
Devs: They are screwing things up.
Mgmt: Then manage them better, it’s your work they are doing.2 -
CppCon2017 is COMING guys!! All these crazy speakers and conference! I won't say their names because they are too many x) But... FUCK ! That's the only moment I wish I lived in USA... No streaming, can't go... Only one thing to do, wait the upload on YouTube...
When I see people hyped about GoT or whatever... Guys this is the REAL HYPE!!!
4 -
!dev && !rant
@dfox and @trogus my so was like, wait... Is this like a thing to complain? That's awesome!
Wait let me guess it's for developers only, right? Why can't we normal people have this? :O7 -
Ayy thanks for the warm welcome!
I'd gladly show it around 😁😁😁
p.s: First time getting international mail. The wait was thrilling but worth the wait 😊
1 -
Just received my new toy (pixel c).
Of fucking course it needs to download a huge update as soon as you start it
8 -
So I'm writing this code, that does 2 important things, that cannot be seperated. I run the code, thing1 is correctly executed, thing2 not. No fucking idea, why this happens. Execute again, same result. Debugg the wohle thing, now everything works fine.
WHAT?
I check the code, there are no background tasks, no paralell processing, nothing that should go wrong.
Asking a Senior developer for help, he also has no fucking idea. He tells me to try to wait one second between the two things. Looking for a delay() or wait() function in my programming language but there is none. Ok, building my own delay, writing a "do 1000 times" loop, calculate some shit in it. Execute the code, it works perfectly.
Nobody has a fucking idea, why this is happening and why this solution is working, but now the code is productive and it works fine.9 -
people posting pics of stickers everywhere and can't wait to receive mines... they look so cool ;_;3
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Nitro Fun's Final Boss
Oh wait, wrong boss. Erm... Phineas and Ferb's "The Regurgitator"?
Wait wait.. Er... Er... Flandre Scarlet.1 -
> Make a small PR
- Added missing license text
- Cleaned up the tiny README
> Wait
> @ the author, they don't have
any other way of contacting them
> Wait more, month+
> Denied, no explanation
> Be pissed, head over to devrant12 -
So my Bank Account Number ends with 1 and I had given my details to a person for processing some amount. He got the number wrong and put 0 instead of 1 at the end. After exchanging mails regarding the delay in processing , i got to know about the problem.
So i called him and said - "So i can see that you have got the A/c number wrong. Because you have set the rightmost bit to 0 and it should be 1. umm sorry , i mean - it ends with 1 and not 0 !"
He takes a pause and says - "Ohhh! Really Sorry about that. I will fix it ASAP. And your coffee is on me. Just consider it one's compliment! "2 -
Just coded my first flutter app! The feeling when no async wait error appeared anymore was amazing. It uses the geolocation library to geht your current Position via GPS
2 -
At job
Im ready to work on a new web site.
Wait for content... Wait for content... Wait for content... Wait for content... Wait for content
You have 3 week to do it completely
🤔🤪2 -
Add 1 - Remove 2
-implement-
Why did you add this?
Alright - Remove 1 and Add 2.
-implement-
I like what you did with 1 but I'm not sure about what you did here with 2.
-wait...wait...wait...-
Hey, just noticed the way you had 1 and 2 before you started making a bunch of unnecessary changes was better, go back to that.
Peer reviews are awesome! -
Why yes Nvidia drivers, I did want you to bluescreen my thinkpad on its dock while I'm in the middle of two different deadlines! I swear this fucking dock causes more fucking issues than I've ever seen. I come back to my computer, wake it up, and wait for my external displays to turn on... And wait... And wait... And bluescreen! This shit happens at least twice a week.
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that moment when you're helping the tech illiterate discover that their supposedly lost pictures are stored in the app called "gallery" and she compliments your genius.
Smirk on my face for helping the elderly.1 -
So I was studying the Material Design skeleton component
https://material-ui.com/components/...
you know, like when YouTube shows grey boxes while the content is loading to let the reader know that there will be something there at some point.
But I keep waiting for it to load! My brain just assumes that the content is not ready yet so I wait but I'm the one who put it there in the first place! I'm supposed to be the one manipulating the user with intuitive UI, not the UI manipulating me!2 -
Lesson learned.
If you're planning on buying a MacBook and WWDC is ≤ 4 or ≤ 5 months away, JUST WAIT FOR IT.
Bought min almost 2 weeks before wwdc, and turns out they made a refresh of the same model...
FML2 -
Get ready to launch a feature. Just about to make a pull request. Business be like, oh wait. Something came up, we need to wait a week. Fuuuuuuuuuuuck.
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Do I write a purchase requisition, wait for it to be signed off, wait three days for it to be ordered, wait another day for receiving to notify me it's in... Or do I pay for the $12 worth of parts myself and have them in by the next morning?3
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"hey that's a nice idea I have here"
"Oh wait, there's school. It's gonna wait 10 more months, plus I have 5-6 projects going on" -
That moment when you are actually looking forward to just go home and chill
...
And then your pc welcomes you with that.
6 -
It doesn't work. Wait, it might be this. Yay, wait.... it doesn't work. Who cares, people won't notice. I'll fix it later. 1 year later, maybe later. 1 more year, maybe later.4
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at a Weezer concert watching Rivers Como and it clicked why I want all the stickers.. We all just want to be rock stars!
2 -
Some wait for their codebto compile, others wait for their simulation to run... and then there's me... who just waits for an answer on his forum question....
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Formatting code on stack overflow is a fuckin pain. One thing is off and the website is like WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT. And then after all that time spending formatting it, to get your question closed for not being specific enough.2
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Use Linear gradient ...
No use rgba
Arghhhh...okay rgba looks OK...wait linear gradient is better...no wait
Hallelujah!!!!!2 -
Me: God damn why don't some of these save to the DB or others do it intermittently.... is this a network issue or-
API (if it could talk): Yeah mean I don't get, it I mean this is what I sent to the DB.
Me: Wait ... "what you sent!?!?!"2 -
in our native language.
ho -> yes
"ho" means "yes"
and we can use this sentence in same connotation as
"wait a bit, yeahhhhh."
and same for our native language too.
and it sounds llike
"wait a bit, hooooooeooo"
or
"pakhana, hoooooeee"5
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