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Professor : Explain deadlock and I will give you full marks.
Me:- You give me full marks and I'll explain deadlock.20 -
I'm browsing DevRant, giggling to myself, my girlfriend asks to see why I'm laughing,
I show her...
*Stares at it with a blank look on her face*
"I don't get it, explain it for me please"
I explain that: even if I explain it to her, she STILL wouldn't understand.
2 hours later she's made her first "Hello World" Java App so she can join DevRant 😂😂😂5 -
Had to explain the difference between front and backend.
Restaurant:
Waiter == frontend
Cook == backend14 -
Teacher : Explain two parallel lines.
Me : Lines that never intersect
Teacher : Good. Can u explain it with an example.
Me : Me and my crush.
*Whole class laughing, still don't have a clue what I said wrong. That's as real as it fucking gets.*
Fucking education system. No real world examples.3 -
People's expression when I explain them devRant:
"..so, it's a social media for the nerdy antisocials"7 -
When you're trying to explain a concept as simple as it can be to your non-dev family and friends, but they're just quietly staring at you.
7 -
When I'm sitting at home scrolling through rants and laughing once in a while, my boyfriend always wants to know what's so funny. Most of the time I then have to explain the rant and he always says "you IT guys are sooo weird" and shakes his head
🤓🙈😂10 -
When I get home, my wife will probably tell me about all the fun things she did with the kids today. She'll tell me about all the frustrating things they did too and stories about how they made her almost pull her own hair out.
Then 20 minutes later she'll ask me how my day was and I'll say, "Oh, I dunno. I worked on a really hard SQL query today..."3 -
How to talk as a dev to a dev:
1.) Talk normally
2.) Start shouting
3.) Slow down but say it more aggressively
4.) Realise you made a mistake and/or misunderstood something
5.) Explain why it's not your fault
6.) Explain why it's someone elses fault
7.) Repeat2 -
I was talking in class. Teacher saw me. She asked me to explain the topic she was going to explain. It was Network Security. I started explaining how we can prevent tracking of our online activities by using VPN and all.
Teacher (to class): Do you all know about VPN?
Whole Class: No.
Teacher (to me): They don't know about VPN. Now, how will you explain?
Me: I won't.
*Cyanide out*7 -
Today, for fun, I wrote prime number generation upto 1000 using pure single MySQL query.
No already created tables, no procedures, no variables. Just pure SQL using derived tables.
So does this mean that pure SQL statements do not have the halting problem?
Putting an EXPLAIN over the query I could see how MySQL guessed that the total number of calculations would be 1000*1000 even before executing the query in itself and this is amazing ♥️
I have attached a screenshot of the query and if you are curious, I have also left below the plain text.
PS this was a SQL problem in Hackerrank.
MySQL query:
select group_concat(primeNumber SEPARATOR '&') from
(select numberTable.number as primeNumber from
(select cast((concat(tens, units, hundreds)+1) as UNSIGNED) as number from
(select 0 as units union select 1 union select 2 union select 3 union select 4 union select 5 union select 6 union select 7 union select 8 union select 9) unitsTable,
(select 0 as tens union select 1 union select 2 union select 3 union select 4 union select 5 union select 6 union select 7 union select 8 union select 9) tensTable,
(select 0 as hundreds union select 1 union select 2 union select 3 union select 4 union select 5 union select 6 union select 7 union select 8 union select 9) hundredsTable order by number) numberTable
inner join
(select cast((concat(tens, units, hundreds)+1) as UNSIGNED) as divisor from
(select 0 as units union select 1 union select 2 union select 3 union select 4 union select 5 union select 6 union select 7 union select 8 union select 9) unitsTable,
(select 0 as tens union select 1 union select 2 union select 3 union select 4 union select 5 union select 6 union select 7 union select 8 union select 9) tensTable,
(select 0 as hundreds union select 1 union select 2 union select 3 union select 4 union select 5 union select 6 union select 7 union select 8 union select 9) hundredsTable order by divisor) divisorTable
on (divisorTable.divisor<=numberTable.number and divisorTable.divisor!=1)
where numberTable.number%divisorTable.divisor=0
group by numberTable.number having count(*)<=1 order by numberTable.number) resultTable;
9 -
The "explain x to an x years old boy/girl" questions are easy yet tricky.
Interviewer: Explain machine learning to an 8th years old kid.
"Imagine if <insert anecdotal example here>"
Interviewer: The kid is asleep. Try harder.4 -
I need to explain to a client how pc work. I use this image. Now every time my client explain what a pc is start talking with "it worked like a WC"... What I have done?
7 -
The thing is that I have told my family a few times what I really do at work. But I have to be honest: explaining what a backend dev does is hard without showing a GUI 😂
Sometimes I even think for myself: wtf am I doing here... 😁1 -
The kitchen at my office is pretty small, it fits a max of two people. Today morning while making a sandwich, an infrastructure dev walks in and proceeds to say... "I hope you don't mind me standing behind you, it's really not a Christian thing to do"... what?6
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[not really a rant] I've lost 1 hour to explain to a .NET boomer developer that I like C# but I hate .NET. I had to explain even why they are different things.
I hate this kind of people9 -
How to find the solution to your problem:
Try to explain it to someone.
Almost every time I explain some weird thing that doesn't work to my friend, I realize what's the cause or have an idea for something to try out..3 -
Somebody please explain.
First I get some call about some investing bs, then I get an automated voice call also about something financial related
From fucking +000000
23 -
Guys can you please explain why there are some nophp rants being posted? I don't know much about PHP but I'm currently learning it...40
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Trying to explain technology to your significant other becomes so hard at times. I had to explain buttons on a form and referred to a radio button, my girlfriend looked at me like I was crazy.2
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I'm just joining this field, and already I hate it when family ask what exactly I'm learning.
I can either dumb it down to the old "I make computer go beep beep" and get met with accusations of rudeness, tell the full details and have them look lost, or try and dumb it down and get met with patronizing remarks ("Oh yeah, I remember doing that last Thrusday! Sure, yeah!).
How do you explain this shit to your folks?9 -
"My code is explain itself. Well, I need no comments to understand it."
I don't care if you wan't to write comments or not; If don't write any then i don't care because fuck you and your code.
May it be java, kotlin, python, javascript or anyother language, you think "everyone can read", i hope you'll never find anyone who has to deal with you and your cancerous code.7 -
I don't usually tell my extended family that I work remotely but when I do, I have to explain what I do, how I do it and how did I get it.
Working remotely is very rare where I'm from. I only know one other guy does work remotely and thats it. -
Where are recently all this rust posts coming from? Did I just not notice them for the last half year or have they just started a few days ago? And why now?
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No universal standard or whatsoever.
// I can't explain it well, maybe someone with better English can.4 -
Always comment your code.
Write comments that explain the reason for this piece of code existing, and why it's written the way it is.
Don't write comments that explain what your code does (unless it's a comment which is going to be parsed as documentation for an API). If your code needs comments to explain what it's doing, you need to write clearer code. -
I don’t understand blockchain enthusiasts. I even spent some time studying the concept and application examples. Most of the time they use private networks removing the concept of distribution, many other times regular database and signature techniques would be cheaper and more practical and anyway these ready made solutions are actually black boxes for the final users because messing around with blockchain would require too much skills… But if you have to trust these black boxes, you could actually just trust any centralized service… I really can’t understand…10
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When you create a middleware function and title it gtfo // no comments need to explain this function
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preparing a presentation for the team leader to explain how my code works... I know how to do my work but I don't know how to explain.
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When testers keep asking you to explain unrelated functionality instead of reading the documentation or asking bussines.
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When you explain a project as "a" to this special someone working in your team, you ask them to repeat and they answer "b", then to top it all of they are then going around office telling everyone else "c". So it ends up in spending precious time explaining it for everyone agin... And no it was nothing wrong with the explanation.
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Ok. Question: Can someone please explain how is C# different from Java? Like major differences..☺17
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What's wrong here?
.
.
.
.
.
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And now, can anybody explain to me why this is happening only with this pdf?
3 -
Only Me or Everyone!!!
I am coding everyday, more appropriate to say in all weekdays.
When my colleague ask me, hey dude what you are working on?
I could explain What I am doing and How I am doing, but I fail to explain Why I am doing it.4 -
Question.
Yesterday, I watched movie Moneyball yet again.
One particular dialogue caught my attention and I am kind of unclear on this. Can somebody explain?
"You get on base, we win. You don't, we lose. And I hate losing, Chavy. I hate it. I hate losing more than I even wanna win. There is a difference"
What is the difference?2 -
How do you deal with technical interviews that are not in your native language?
I speak English fairly well. But when you are in pressure or want to explain of course I feel that urge to switch to native and explain concepts.
What's your trick ?3 -
Can somebody explain me the difference between Strategy Chooser and Command Chooser? (if there is any...)
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