Three male programmers were in the bathroom standing at the urinals.

The first programmer finishes, walks over to the sink to wash his hands. He then proceeds to dry his hands very carefully. He uses paper towel after paper towel and ensures that every single spot of water on his hands is dried.

Turning to the other two, he says, "At Windows, we are trained to be extremely thorough."

The second programmer finishes his task at the urinal and he proceeds to wash his hands. He uses a single paper towel and makes sure that he dries his hands using every available portion of the paper towel.

He turns and says, "At Macintosh not only are we trained to be extremely thorough but we are also trained to be extremely efficient."

The third programmer finished and walks straight for the door, shouting over his shoulder.

"At RedHat, we don`t PISS on our hands."

So I have been temporarily assigned to new team .. moving from mainly backend.. to help the Web team ..

Me .: Aight guys .. what we working with ?
Team: MVC .net
Me: awesome ..
Team: but we have our own version of MVC .
Me : 🤔 your own MVC ?
Team: yeh we only buse controllers.. but no models at all ?
Me.: 😲 So where does the view gets its data from ?
Team : from Azure functions apps.
M: how ?
T: ( in very proud tone ) .. we use js to call all functions.
M: so why not just use HTML pages . Why MVC then !
T: coz MVC is modern architecture design.
M: but you not using it and all of calles to the functions are exposed publicly.
T: 🧐 THIS IS MODERN DESIGN !!
M: 🤪 My bad .. what the hell do I know ! I only been developing MVC applications for 7 years !!
Please tell me more about your " Modern Design "
🤮🤮🤮

I was on a 1:1 with my boss talking about my performance, recent tickets, HR stuff, anything I need, plans for the next quarter, etc.

My 4yo ran up, pointed to my boss on the screen, and asked "who is mommy on a call with?" I told him it was my boss, T, and that he needed to be quiet. "I want talk to T!" He demanded. "Hi T!" He wouldn't take no for an answer. We were pressed for time, so. As cute as it was, it wasn't very welcome.

It took like five minutes to finally make him leave. Now whenever I'm on a call, he runs up and yells "Hi T!!!!" at the screen. 😅 even when its standup or the engineering meeting with like 50 people.... thankfully there is a mute button! His face still pops up on camera, but most people understand and just laugh.

He's cute but he can be soo embarrassing!

Omg...
T-Mobile AT was asked, why they store passwords in plain text, and in a long discussion, they answered this (see img)

I don't know, if this is a late april fool...

If you ever feel you're not self-confident enough, think about the guy who told his manager at Google about the great idea he had been working on: a T-Rex that jump over cactus when there's no internet connection in Chrome.

Our teacher wanted to show us a video in class so she opened Internet explorer (windows 7) used bing to search for the video and clicked on the link.

The video didn't work and instead there was an error message saying 'Your browser is too old, please use a more modern browser, for example mozilla firefox'

She looked at the error message for around 30 seconds like it had just told her that it is gonna explode in a minute. After some time one of my friends asked if she needed help. Here is what happened:

F: do you need any help?

T: No (very serious voice)

Teacher shuts down computer, stands up, looks at our class angrily and says in a very serious voice:

T: you broke the computer although you aren't allowed to touch it!

Me: mother of god...

#!rant

Boss sent me an email at midnight, and I was working voluntary O/T, so I responded. This morning, he brought me this...

So yesterday I became an actual human rubber duck!

So I have a colleague in my team that for weird reasons is not allowed to work with the same thing as the other colleagues in the team is allowed to work with. So she´s kind of alone, working on another project, and that seems to suck really hard.

And this is how I became a human rubber duck. She asked me a couple of questions about a technology/language I´ve never touched before and I told her I never worked with that technology or language and know nothing. But she was eager to get me over to take a look at what she meant.

So I came over to her screen and she started to tell me everything about the project, the technology and the language. I soon realized she wasn´t only looking for help, she was probably feeling alone in the work she was doing and just needed someone to talk to. So I took my role as the human rubber duck and sat down to listen to everything even though I almost didn´t understand anything.

I think it actually helped her even though I did nothing.

Being a human rubber duck felt good!

It's a funny story. When at the gym I usually wear t-shirts with tech companies logos, from companies I've worked at. This guy comes to me and asks if I'm a programmer. Turns out he's also a programmer and we began chatting every time we were at the gym at the same time. Some months later he joined the company I work at and we're now colleagues. He's a pretty cool dude.

> Open Quora
> Read highly upvoted answer that in essence says "ping - t localhost to make internet speed faster by 'sucking the wifi'"
> Realize that senior at office has upvoted it
> Jump out of the window

Ok... gotta get this off my chest...

I was tasked to train a junior developer recently. Manager says he's (skill) is rusty, but has potential.

I thought to myself... "Rusty? I can deal with that... how bad can it be?"

He ran into some issues while going through the training material, and asked me for help. It was a simple task of printing something to the screen...

After glancing at his code, I said you have to make it (variable) a string. He LITERALLY types s-t-r-i-n-g...

Me: 😵💫

Christmas song for UNIX hackers:

better !pout !cry
better watchout
lpr why
santa claus < north pole > town

cat /etc/passed > list
ncheck list
ncheck list
cat list | grep naughty > nogiftlist
cat list | grep nice > giftlist
santa claus < north pole > town

who | grep sleeping
who | grep awake
who | egrep 'bad|good'
for (goodness sake) {
be good
}

(By Frank Carey, AT&T Bell Laboratories, 1985 )

Venting some anger, this is a long one

<rant>
So last Friday we had a 'Christmas' party at work... Only it wasn't a Christmas party... Because that would be racist against people who don't celebrate Christmas (of whom they are none at work), also no Christmas songs, because of the same reason and because it looked unprofessional... They also removed karaoke... (an Christmas tradition at the office) Because again, it was unprofessional

But we all got a Christmas card... Strange because we weren't allowed to celebrate it 😑 and the message in that card was one of the most standard messages I've ever seen, something like

Hello $name, we enjoyed working with you in 2017, let's make 2018 even better, merry Christmas

MERRY CHRISTMAS!? BUT THAT'S RACIST WASN'T IT!!!???

W T F !

also our sales guy did a speech, the following is an actual quote
'software is an amazing product'
Yeah mate, software is the product... Totally not the stuff we create with it

Sorry if people get/are offended in anyway, but if you decide that having a Christmases party at work is racist in any way or form, then don't have a party at all... Not some lame half Christmas party...
</rant>

Thank fuck I was so early at work today.

As I did walk past the server room I heard something really loud behind the door. I was still in zombie mode (It was way too early, usually I´m here 2 hours later...), so just stood there looking at the door for a while.
Needed about 3 to 4 slow thoughts to decide what the fuck is happening.

My last thought was just: Man why is it so loud here. That´s the server room. Oh fuck!

The second I opened the door this rancid burning hot air straight out of satans anus almost melted my face off.
The servers were trying to maintain their cooling by almost puking out their guts with the those poor little fans they have.

Turns out one of the air conditioners failed and the backup didn´t start. So I started it manually.

Where the fuck is the admin? That´s not my fucking job!
What the fuck am I doing here so early?

*part rant part developers are the best people in the world*

years back a friend got a job at some non profit, as a program coordinator, and his first task was to "coordinate" the work on creating the new website for the organisation. current website they had was a monster built on some custom cms, 7 languages, 5 years of almost dayly content updates, etc. so he asked me if i would took the job of creating a new website on wordpress. i wasn t really keen on doing it, but he is a good friend so i said ok. i wrote down the SOW, which clearly stated that i will not be responsible for migrating the old content to the new website. i had experience working with non it clients, and made sure everyone understood the SOW before the contract was signed. everyone was ok with it. after three weeks my job was done, all milestones and requirenments were met. peechy! and then all hell breaks loose when the president of the organisation (the most evil person i ve met in my life) told my friend that she expects me to migrate the content as well. he tried explaining her that that was not agreed, that it will cost extra, etc. but she didn t want to hear any of that. despite the fact that she was a part of the entire SOW creation process, because she is a micro managing bitch. in any other situation i wouldn t budge, because we have the contract and i kept all the paper trail, but since my friends job was on the line i agreed to do it. my SQL knowldge at the time, and even now, was very rudimentary, the db organisation of their cms was confusing as fuck... so i took two days of searching tutorials and SO threads and was doing ok, until i got to a problem i couldn t solve on my own. i posted the issue on SO and some guy asked for some clarifications, and we went back and forth, and decided to move to chat. while chatting with him i realised that there was not a chance for me to do all the work in few days without a lot of errors so i offered him to do it for a fee. he agreed. i asked him for his rate, he said if this is a community work i will do it for free, but if it is commercial i will charge the standard rate, 50$/hr. i told him it was commercial, and agreed to his rate. i asked him if he needed an advance payment, he said no need, you ll pay me when the job is done. i sent him the db dumps, after two days he sent me the csv, i checked it, all was good and wired him the money.
now compare this work relatioship with the relatioship with that bitch from the non profit.
* we met online, on a semi-anonymous forum, this guys profile was empty
* he trusted me enough to say that he would do it for free if i wasn t payed either
* i wasn t an asshole to take advantage of that trust
* he did the work without the advance payment
* i payed him the moment i verified the work

faith in humanity restored

Not to say anyone here is right or wrong about this, but I just do t get the whole privacy paranoia. Yes, I get that our rights are being violated. Yes I know I need to be aware and concerned.

People use specials rims, VPN software, etc... The bottom line is every keystroke, SMS, voice call, search text, historical reference... every piece of digital communication is recorded (At least in the US).

The sad reality is I can be as angry as I want, but unless I forego using tech or leaving the house, there is nothing I can do about it.

I await your comments, both positive and negative.

Why the fuck do people have to be fucking lazy as hell? There is a dishwasher in the kitchen. Please put your fucking dirty dishes there and NOT ABOVE on the tray!
Also when you take a dump at the toilets: BE FUCKING QUIET! You sound like you are fucked from behind by a T-Rex! You can breath without making sounds!
And for christ sake: If you come into the bathroom please check the fucking signs on the locks BEFORE you try to enter! It is annoying as hell to sit there minding my own business while some douchebag tries to enter my rest room!

How it is to be a dev in my country?

At bit of an odd question this week.

For me (in the USA), it's being technical support for *every* website my family uses.

Over the weekend my wife visited her aunt and I get a call.

Wife: "How do I create an ebay account?"
Me: "I don't like where this is going. We already have an account."
Wife: "Not for me, dummy, Aunt T. She found some books she wants to buy on ebay."
Me: "You go thru the process to create an account? Email, name, password, etc."
Wife: "We tried that, but it's not working."
<few seconds of silence>
Me: "Oookaaay...why isn't it working? Is there an error?"
Wife: "I don't know, we already clicked off of it. Something about the email."
<few more seconds of silence>
Me: "Can you reproduce the error and tell me?"
Wife: "Uggh..are you serious? We've done it like 10 times, its not working. Just tell me what I need to do."
Me: "If you can't tell me the error, I can't help you. I'm not there and can't see what you see."
Wife: "Stop being an asshole."
<Aunt T takes the phone>
T: "Said something about using another email address. Does that help you?"
Me: "Are you sure you don't already have a ebay account?"
T: "No, I don't think so. I hate ebay. but I really want these books. I don't want the same problems as last time."
Me: "Last time?"
T: "Yes, I bought a coffee cup on ebay from China and it never arrived."
Me: "OK, so you do have an account?"
T: "I don't know, I mean, I never got the cup."
Me: "What email address did you use? I'll send a 'remind me' email so you can reset the password and login"
<go thru the motions, she is able to login>
T: "Ahhh...I do have an account! There are the golf balls I bought for <husband> for Christmas."
<face smack>
Wife: "Why didn't you do this from the start? I thought you knew a lot about computers. We basically figured this out ourselves. Goodbye!"
<click>

This how every cluster-fuck begins..

My coworker wanted to get some program from a website that requires a username/password to download. It is a utility program for controls automation. He didn't want to have to create a username/password so I said he could use mine.

I went over to his desk and read off the username to him which he entered. Then I started reading off the "password" to him:
"y o u r m o m i s a s l u t"
He got suspicious at the last few letters and then clicked on "show password" icon. He of course saw: "yourmomisaslut". At this point he just bust out laughing. I then gave him the correct password.

My daughter made me two things:
1) She found a rock in the shape of an “alien” head. Knowing I love to research UFOs, she used nail polish to decorate the rock like an alien. And I just love it!

2) I have a reputation for being just like Charlie Brown with my luck in life. I also suck at math. Like, really, really bad. I was diagnosed with dyscalculia 22 years ago. It’s a running joke at our house such that I even have the t-shirt she depicts me wearing in this painting of “me” she did for my birthday.

few years back there was a corruption scandal in my country, serbia. one of the ministries paid around 25,000 euros for a website to a company that was founded few weeks before the open call. for comparrison sake average pay at the time was around 300 euros. the website it self didn t have any special features, just publishing contenet. wordpress would do the job. on a press confference, trying to defend the cost, spokesperson of the ministry said that the website was made in "cms programming language".

it community lost it! mems started immediatelly, "i am learning cms language so i could charge 25.000 per project". and then one guy got intrigued, found the login page, and typed:

username: admin
password: 12345

and got in!!!!
i kid you not!

he posted featured news on the homepage, saying hey guys your credentials probably shouldn t be admin/12345. twitter was on fire, everyone started loging in and posting shit.

and the crasiest part is that this guy was arrested and charged for cyber-crime!

How was your day at work?
Dev: - I managed to break the whole thing, so s**t! 😭
QA: - I managed to break the whole thing, so productive! 😎

This guy is always t-posing down at me. I feel intimidated...

!rant
I have t shirt which has 1+1=10 written over it. In my family all are from non science background.so they laugh at me whenever i wear that shirt.
Once i got frustrated and yelled " you will never git it".
*,awkward silence*
Wish i had cs related family background -.-

So in the 2nd grade of middle school.our classes had computers with projectors and teachers would present on them. At that time I was still a beginner in programming and knew some basic cmd commands, so before our teacher had come to class I went to the computer desk, opened cmd and then executed this command “shutdown -s -t 36000” which basically shutdowns the pc after 36000 milliseconds and then the teacher came to class and started explaining us a new lesson on a power point and half way through the power point the pc suddenly shutdowns and the class got wild. and no one admitted who did it so all the teacher did is to say” who ever did it pls don’t do it again”. Like wow...😂😂😂

!dev

T-32min

Long story short:
I dont have many friends, I'm isolated in my home, for the first time in 25 years I actually felt like my birthday is worth celebrating but Im alone because corona.

Therefore I'd like to ask you to drink a glass of your good (or other) booze at 23:00UTC (Which is midnight here) to celebrate the first bday party I never had and to celebrate DevRant as a great community and each of you, the members.

I (and many devs might too) need some advice.

Well, I'm happy and sad at the same time :) :(
I'm so happy because finally I can put a floor pet on my avatar. I put my yellow favorite cat (its name is "Güero/Blondie"). On the other hand, I'm so sad because last week, my stupid and drug addict neighbor poisoned my cat :'( (not the yellow one, it was a gray cat. I'm 90% sure that he did it, he tried to do it last year). I know that it was only a cat, but I felt terribly all the past week, I couldn't even think or code. Fortunately it was the ending of the sprint and my code was successfully tested, so I didn't have to code, only trying not to cry at the office.

What would you do in this situation? I mean, those days when you feel like sh*t but you need to go to work and finish the code.

AT&T: We've fixed your voicemail setup issue, use <APP> to set it up
Me: About fucking time
*uses app*
AT&T: Voicemail setup failed. Also, we've eaten 300MB of your 500MB of mobile data.

"Hmm, I have a meeting with a few of the executives today to go over that new feature... I'd better wear my good t-shirt and jeans today."

I love working at a place where there is no dress code for devs!

Had nothing to do today, so I thought I´ll test the migration of SVN to Git in Gitlab.

Boss sent me a mail today, that when I migrate we need to preserve the history, so I actually have to put some effort in it. *sigh*

Shout-out to the Gitlab documentation at this point.
That´s probably the best doc I´v ever read...

Well so I tried to use svn2git. And well...
Who the fuck thought that this piece of shit software is in any way usable?
Holy crap!
If it fails, it just does so without any info why. Even in verbose mode.
And the RAM usage? What the actual fuck?
This whole thing is a complete memory leak!
32Gigs of RAM full in Minutes and the whole system starts to stall!
And then when I thought it finally runs through.
Bam another git checkout error...

Googling for that error then I found something. A version of svn2git made in .Net Core.
Didn´t expect much but I tried it anyways.
And would you look at that!
It ran so smooth and didn´t need that much RAM , I had some doubt it did work correctly.
But it did!

I think I´m gonna pay a coffee or two to some guy over in China now!

thank you, AT&T, very cool!

Bootcrap. Just looked at their main page, and it's a whopping 75k of markup plus 294k of CSS (W-T-F?!), and 224k of JS. All of that shit for a page that shouldn't be more than 10k of markup, 16k of CSS, and that has no reason to even use JS at all.

<a class="d-flex flex-column flex-lg-row justify-content-center align-items-center mb-4 text-dark lh-sm text-decoration-none

Yeah, that crap is supposed to be "easier" to write. That's what you get for totally failing to understand how HTML/CSS even work, clinging to late 1990s practices, and ditching decades of progress since then.

Although the Bootcrap folks do manage to write valid HTML. As low as that sounds, but that counts already as an exceptional skill in the notoriously low-skilled frontend "dev" world that is all about making shitty websites.

Oh, and the rest like Failwind and Bulimia aren't any better. They already fail at delivering valid HTML on their websites.

Dearest Spotify,

I do NOT like podcasts, I do NOT listen to them, I do NOT want to, I do NOT want them as a non-dismissible FUCKING banner PERPETUALLY AT THE TOP OF MY HOME FUCKING SCREEN

IN F R O N T OF THE FUCKING MUSIC?!?!?!

AND I DEFINITELY D O N OOO T WANT your SHITTY RECOMMENDATIONS to have PORNOGRAPHIC IMAGES AND THEMES when I often have the Spotify homepage open on my DESKTOP I don't want to explain that to people who happen to glance at my FUCKING screen.

Holy fucking shit just give me music recommendations and FUCK OFF.

I found this

To register for Facebook's hacker cup.

Fuck you 1:
I need a Facebook account

Fuck you 2:
I need to enter my address and phone number mandatorily. Because they'll send me a t shirt if I win one. It's not like anyone would not win a t shirt or not want one right? So fucking slurp away at all their privacy data any way.

Here's my address for you facebook

No 666, fuck you street, privacypolis, fuckington offville.

ERROR MESSAGE:
<I am written in plain english>
<Here is the line number of the error>
<Here is the possible reason for the error>

Developer: What the heck is wrong with my code now. (looking at source)

ERROR MESSAGE:
<You incompetent piece of s**t, READ ME. F'n READ ME. Please READ ME. I promise, I be helpful.>
<Nope. You aren't gonna. Fine!>

So I am the resident Linux Guru and a contract manager asks me who wrote rm. I guessed and said Dennis Ritchie.

"I thought you were the UNIX Guy" he says. He goes on to claim that Robert Morris wrote it and named it rm after his initials. ... In front of the whole team he did this. Ok.

Did some research and even contacted Robert T Morris at MIT ( his son) and he pointed me to a sight with documentation from the initial UNIX research at Bell Labs where his dad did in fact work with Dennis Ritchie and Ken Thompson. Turns out, I was right.

Leaving my current company for another opportunity. Boss has been working remote for almost a week now. When he shows up at the office, behaves like I don't exist anymore. Throwing in comments like "let's hire this guy, he's got some actual AI experience and not some academic bulls**t" while making sure I definitely hear them. His childish behavior leaves me wondering here what he thinks he'll achieve with it. At least makes me to look forward to get out of here. Oh well... Only couple of weeks left to put up with this.

Our PM wanted us to do a massive refactor of our Codebase. He gave it 1 Story Point ( or in his words :"Small T-Shirt size") since it was just a refactor, what could Go wrong ?

Answer: Everything . WE needed 2 Months to get Everything up to standart (how he saw it) and 2 of the programmers just quit because they were getting yelled at for Not refactoring fast enough

imagine having kernel memory leaks in 2020

AT&T or Huawei, whichever, pushed an update for my already-struggling-to-exist phone that made the kernel memory leak go from 480KB/hr avg to 22.5MB/hr avg. When my free RAM is never under 50% of 2GB after the kernel starts loading other shit and i'm able to express free RAM, at any time in use, in megs, with 8 bits... this means my phone crashes, with no apps running aside from a trimmed list of stock apps, every 3-4 hours due to running out of RAM. The only usable (read: not R/O because unrooted) swapfile is located on a tmpfs, so it's completely fucking useless (and eats another 100MB of RAM that I could be using for LITERALLY anything else, that's like another 3 hours of full idle between crashes) and I can't unlock the bootloader to fix any of this as Huawei no longer hands out keys and it'd take 7 years or so to brute (32-bit @ 10/sec)

tl;dr: fuck

I'm hal laughting, half facepaling.

Use multiple servers they said
It's gonna balance automaticlly your load they said.

Well, they didn';t accoubnt for a MEGA badly writen API whic can block a whole server for a minute.

Or, but it's not the end !!!

So you see ? 1 at 100%, 1 at 0% ? Quick maths : Average 50%.

Autoscaling kicks in at average 40% for 2 minutes.

So it kicks in... Created a 3d server... Which is still booting !!

And some trafic redirected there.

Sooo. Users on a 100% server : Bad bad bad for them
Users on 0% server : No problems
users on a new 3d server : Wait 15 seconds, then it's like 0%.

Fun fun fun. At least I know now which fucking API does that.

I got a project to "refactor" some shitty site. It was written in nativ php. The guy who wrote this is a moron.
The site is so unsecure that my dog could broke into it while barking at cats.

It's sooo unreadable and illogical.
Every time i look at the code i get sadder and sadder. And now i understand why so many people hate php..

**Jump in time**
After i planned the new logic. My boss told me i can't do any of this. Because they only need a new user lever..
Now i just stare at this pile of horse sh*t and rant about it.

AT&T: "there is an excessive use cap on your unlimited mobile data plan but you'll never hit it"

Me: BEGIN TRANSMISSION

F**king sh*t management...there was a training schedule for Casandra (for basics and advance), I added my name to interested list and as I wanted my site ppl know I sent a email to HR stating to look at it and add more ppl....now I am out from the list and a line manager's name got added...WTF....why the hell he needs rather then a programmer... :(

I am a senior Android dev, and I have an old colleague (iOS senior dev). We work on the same project, but in every estimation session he pushes a lot on the lower side: he estimates 4h a task that normally takes 6h or 8h, and the reason is that he has no social life. Right after work he starts working again from home (I can see all his commits), he also works almost entire weekends. I would say he works as average 12/13 h per day.
I don t want to work extra time (unpayed).
About him, it is his life, so I don t care...but at the same time this makes me pressure. I care a lot about quality of code, and I don t want to sacrifice it just for catching up. Most of the people in the team know that he works a lot extra time.

How would you handle this?

!rant

Last week I finished what I thought to be unpaid work experience working in IT (more like programming), at the end of it I had a meeting with the boss who offered me paid work next summer and also gifted me a £150 amazon voucher for the work I did.

I sold my XBOX (ew the unproductivity) and use the voucher to buy a Mac Mini. Going from Windows, Mac OS X is significantly better, I prefer bash to power-sh*t.

TLDR; I worked for 5 weeks and got a Mac

It's easy to see what a person in my company do just by looking at their clothing. Money-guys with blue shirts and shiny shoes, tech guys with washed out jeans and a t-shirt with print. Then there's the bosses of tech guys, a hybrid with washed out jeans, sneakers and a poorly fit blazer for meetings. And then we have the designers, with their neatly trimmed beards, wearing a scarf all year round. And at last, project managers.. kinda like the money-guys but with sneakers for better mobility, and their right arm locked in a "holding cup of coffee" posture as they move from desk to desk like vultures overlooking others work.

And they say there is no dress code

My coworker claimed to have experience with R programming on their resume.

Now I don't know R myself but I'm pretty sure what actually happened was they were handed an R program and told how to run it...

Cause they doesn't use functions without being told to, I've had to explain global vs local variables multiple fucking time, and the worst fucking offense in my opinion

THEY DOESN"T READ FUCKING ERROR MESSAGES, so many times there's been an issue in the scripts and when I go to look at what's wrong it's 3 fucking lines down from what they fucking screenshot and spam me on teams with

me: *sees Slack notification*
me at T+2: *unlocks phone, opens devRant*

I might be slightly addicted.

Not as much of a rant as a share of my exasperation you might breathe a bit more heavily out your nose at.

My work has dealt out new laptops to devs. Such shiny, very wow. They're also famously easy to use.
.
.
.
My arse.
.
.
.
I got the laptop, transferred the necessary files and settings over, then got to work. Delivered ticket i, delivered ticket j, delivered the tests (tests first *cough*) then delivered Mr Bullet to Mr Foot.

Day 4 of using the temporary passwords support gave me I thought it was time to get with department policy and change my myriad passwords to a single one. Maybe it's not as secure but oh hell, would having a single sign-on have saved me from this.

I went for my new machine's password first because why not? It's the one I'll use the most, and I definitely won't forget it. I didn't. (I didn't.) I plopped in my memorable password, including special characters, caps, and numbers, again (carefully typed) in the second password field, then nearly confirmed. Curiosity, you bastard.

There's a key icon by the password field and I still had milk teeth left to chew any and all new features with.
Naturally I click on it. I'm greeted by a window showing me a password generating tool. So many features, options for choosing length, character types, and tons of others but thinking back on it, I only remember those two. I had a cheeky peek at the different passwords generated by it, including playing with the length slider. My curiosity sated, I closed that window and confirmed that my password was in.

You probably know where this is going. I say probably to give room for those of you like me who certifiably. did. not.

Time to test my new password.
*Smacks the power button to log off*
Time to put it in (ooer)
*Smacks in the password*
I N C O R R E C T L O G I N D E T A I L S.

Whoops, typo probably.
Do it again.
I N C O R R E C T L O G I N D E T A I L S.

No u.
Try again.
I N C O R R E C T L O G I N D E T A I L S.

Try my previous password.
Well, SUCCESS... but actually, no.

Tried the previous previous password.
T O O M A N Y A T T E M P T S

Ahh fuck, I can't believe I've done this, but going to support is for pussies. I'll put this by the rest of the fire, I can work on my old laptop.

Day starts getting late, gotta go swimming soonish. Should probably solve the problem. Cue a whole 40 minutes trying my 15 or so different passwords and their permutations because oh heck I hope it's one of them.
I talk to a colleague because by now the "days since last incident" counter has been reset.

"Hello there Ryan, would you kindly go on a voyage with me that I may retrace my steps and perhaps discover the source of this mystery?"

"A man chooses, a slave obeys. I choose... lmao ye sure m8, but I'm driving"

We went straight for the password generator, then the length slider, because who doesn't love sliding a slidey boi. Soon as we moved it my upside down frown turned back around. Down in the 'new password' and the 'confirm new password' IT WAS FUCKING AUTOCOMPLETING. The slidey boi was changing the number of asterisks in both bars as we moved it. Mystery solved, password generator arrested, shit's still fucked.

Bite the bullet, call support.
"Hi, I need my password resetting. I dun goofed"
*details tech support needs*
*It can be sorted but the tech is ages away*
Gotta be punctual for swimming, got two whole lengths to do and a sauna to sit in.
"I'm off soon, can it happen tomorrow?"
"Yeah no problem someone will be down in the morning."

Next day. Friday. 3 hours later, still no contact. Go to support room myself.
The guy really tries, goes through everything he can, gets informed that he needs a code from Derek. Where's Derek? Ah shet. He's on holiday.

There goes my weekend (looong weekend, bank holiday plus day flexi-time) where I could have shown off to my girlfriend the quality at which this laptop can play all our favourite animé, and probably get remind by her that my personal laptop has an i2350u with integrated graphics.

TODAY. (Part is unrelated, but still, ugh.)
Go to work. Ten minutes away realise I forgot my door pass.
Bollocks.
Go get a temporary pass (of shame).
Go to clock in. My fob was with my REAL pass.
What the wank.
Get to my desk, nobody notices my shame. I'm thirsty. I'll have the bottle from my drawer. But wait, what's this? No key that usually lives with my pass? Can't even unlock it?
No thanks.

Support might be able to cheer me up. Support is now for manly men too.
*Knock knock*
"Me again"
"Yeah give it here, I've got the code"
He fixes it, I reset my pass, sensibly change my other passwords.
Or I would, if the internet would work.

It connects, but no traffic? Ryan from earlier helps, we solve it after a while.

My passwords are now sorted, machine is okay, crisis resolved.

*THE END*

If you skipped the whole thing and were expecting a tl;dr, you just lost the game.

Otherwise, I absolve you of having lost the game.

Exactly at the char limit

Craziest prep for an interview?

Way back when I interviewed devs, I prepped a bank of Simpsons and Star Trek trivia questions if the candidate answered one of the softball questions ("What are your hobbies?", etc ) that related to either subject. On rare occasion a candidate claimed to be a big trekkie so I asked..

<Deep Space Nine was in it's 5th season>
Me: "What was the name of Captain Sisko's ship?"
C: "Sisko? Was he from the original series?"
Me: "No, Deep Space Nine"
<awkward silence>
C: "Is that the new series?"
Me: "Not really, but lets do an original series question. What does the middle initial 'T' stand for in James T Kirk?"
<awkward silence>
C: "I have no idea. I don't think it stands for anything."

He didn't make the cut.

My boss at the time said I should not document any of those questions/answers just in case we are sued for discrimination.

What the sh*t is this kind of response?! One of my corporate department's internal API returns THIS.

LOOK AT IT. LOOK. "NULL". What are those malformed closing / ending brackets?!

(request headers have accept: application/json btw)

And, as a final "f*uck you", the "IPG_API_JOBD_NC_RESP_P_COLL" is returned as JSON object if response has one element to return, but will be JSON ARRAY if result has more than one element.

Good luck, you there with strongly typed languages..... Boils my blood 😅

I wrote a file transfer thing to appease the initial idea that keeps coming back into my head every so often, like it's trying to haunt me. Problem: No mobile provider will let me test it, as it's meant to throw disgusting numbers of SMS messages at someone waiting for them. How many, you ask? Well, 1MB of data translates to about 8100 "standard-length" SMS messages. (Standardized length, non-"long" SMS messages are, at best, 70 UCS-2, 140 ASCII, or 160 7-bit characters.) It does work, though, as if I just write out all the SMS messages to files and read those in (in place of actual SMS messages, different delivery of the same data) it works flawlessly.

Why would I ever wanna make this? Well, T-Mobile seems to be more concerned with building new cell towers, rather than fucking fixing the ones currently working. The mobile data component usually dies for 8 or 9 hours a day in this medium-size city, but SMS still works, so... just use that to transfer data!

Start-up life.

Learning to code but must do website.

Must learn illustrator....

Can`t even select a fucking circle without it becoming a splatterod non sensical shapes.

Been at it for 2 weeks.

Boss/friend like. Hey i know its the holidays but lets catch up to see what youve done....

Me. Well... I can fuck up circles ;)

Sometimes I don't know if my co-worker is that stupid or...
Well, he came to me with an strange problem with mongoose.
I looked at the error message. And guess what the database was not reachable. Asked him, did you check the mongo db service. No. Of course the service was not running. Told him to restart it. Then he restarted robo t not the service itself. Major face palm. He then asked me if I knew why his service was not running. Do I look like some kind of wizard? Told him to check the logs. Long story short, his drive ran out of space....

How is t only Tuesday? Surely it must be Thursday at the very least?

What the poes

When I told John our newest colleague “I understand your frustration but you need to calm down because collaboration is key”

John:
Okay okay okay, I get it. Collaboration is key and all, but these meetings freaking killing me. We need a better balance, where we can have effective meetings that actually drive progress without sacrificing our precious coding mojo.

At the end of the day, I just wanna do what I’m f*ckin paid for. But these damn meetings are killing my vibe, and it's downright frustrating. Can't we just get back to the good ol' days of actually getting sh*t done!

{Bro is in for a long ride}

Stackoverflow started 8 years ago.
Is there no hope for us "noobs" to ever see the 'k' at the end of our points?
All these 100K + users and i'm over here rejoicing in the 48 points that I was able to muster up with some effort T-T

I don't know how others feel about this but every time, when the fan are spinning at full speed as you turn on the routers and they are in boot sequence.the stat lights on switch turning on/off in wave patterns
I'm like:
prepare to take off,
Initiate Countdown,
Take off in;T minus 30 second.

So, I put forward to the recruiter that my T&Cs are that I would like to work from home for a minimum of 3 days per week due to the travel time and traffic involved, and that the recruiter should put that forward to their client.

The recruiter received this in response...

"We would be open to looking at flexitime. In terms of days at the office, we would be need him to come to the office three to four days a week as communication is challenging when we have people working from home."

Have they never heard of Slack or Skype... or the Internet? Or am I missing something?

!rant.
I think i joined devRant back in October and since then it has become my most used app. Its so great to be under the same of its kind! And even though I don't have something to rant about at the moment, I am gonna support all those ranters with my ++'s! I already ++'t over a thousand rants and won't stop!

Fuck AT&T syntax for x86 assembly.
That is all.

🐙/* Friendly reminder */ 🐙

Don't forget about Hacktoberfest, a great way of giving back to the open source community 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦. And remember, if you create at least 4 pull request you'll get a t-shirt! 👕👚

Got these Thinkpads 2 days ago, Im already hooked, they are both model T430, the only difference is that one has 8gb ram, while the other one has 6g

YOU DENSE MOTHERFUCKER!

If anyone read my last rant, I talked about how I wanted to buy a new phone with a subscription line, but they didn't allow me because "the system says you already have one and you're over due with the payments"

FUCKING MORONS, I don't know who coded the system but I will find you and bury your head in your own shit!

They use people's RFC (Mexican Tax ID number) to create an "account" and allow buying a phone. The ID it's composed by:

NNNNYYMMDDXXX

Where N are letters from our name, then they use our birthdate's year, month and day, finally they generate three unique characters to avoid ID clashes.

Well, this stupid fucker who coded the system thought it was OKAY TO STORE ALL BUT THE CHARACTERS THAT MAKE THE ID UNIQUE.

Fucking fucker...what were you thinking?

After ten years of working sh*t jobs I finally got the chance to study CompSci at a top university... All the kids look at me as if I've been programming for years, truth is I just study a lot because my scholarship requires me to get B+ or above.

Three male programmers were in the bathroom standing at the urinals.

 The first programmer finishes, walks over to the sink to wash his  hands. He then proceeds to dry his hands very carefully. He uses paper  towel after paper towel and ensures that every single spot of water on  his hands is dried.

 Turning to the other two, he says, "At Windows, we are trained to be extremely thorough."

 The second programmer finishes his task at the urinal and he proceeds to wash his  hands. He uses a single paper towel and makes sure that he dries his  hands using every available portion of the paper towel.

 He  turns and says, "At Macintosh not only are we trained to be extremely  thorough but we are also trained to be extremely efficient."

 The third programmer finished and walks straight for the door, shouting over his shoulder.

 "At RedHat, we don`t PISS on our hands."

!dev

What a fucking son of a bitch day...

I’m hungover as fuck so i don’t wanna drive, so I want to pay parking for a few hours.
I didn’t find my fucking key, when I pulled up the couch to look under it, my XPS fell of it and smashes the screen. At that moment my landlord knocks on the door to take a look at the kitchen ceiling and t he kitchen is a fucking MESS! You know when you’re drunk and get a late night cooking attack? Yea, that sort of mess.

Completely fucked in my head I got the reserve key for the car, unlocked it and the bloody alarm went of because the keys battery is empty. So managed to turn it off, went back into my apartment and found the key BEHIND the motherfucking couch.. BEHIND THE COUCH, HOW WOULD IT EVEN GET THERE? Ffs...

I’ll just continue drinking now and hope tomorrow is gonna be a better day.. and order a new screen for my laptop, it’s not at all like I’m short on money this month anyway..

SyntaxError: Unexpected token T in JSON at position 0

WHY IS THIS ERROR SO UNAVOIDABLE? Like every time I need to interact with an API, it's a struggle to make this go away.

senior dev told me yesterday - stop thinking like a manager, look at the big picture!

shouldn t it be the other way around?

Fuck MySQL Workbench!
I have spent 2 fucking days diagramming a 350 table database 3 times over because if it doesn't crash and ignore your saves it corrupts its own data and drops the hours of formatting you've done! Now I'm trying to print an ugly un-formatted piece of sh*t because I need to get on a flight to the meeting I need to present this at and it ignores all my default printer settings and wastes 40 A3 sheets of paper. Does Oracle even use the shit they are releasing? For the love of god if you can't maintain it for free fix your fucking bugs and I will buy a license but I cant keep working like this.

How I program at home

Leading back in my chair throwing a stress ball in the air listening to a YouTube video on how thanos is the boss baby cartoon randomly shouting F**k and furiously typing before my idea goes away

How I program at school/work

Stares at screen muttering swears and wanting to take a nap while googling basic sh*t

AM BIOS: "Hi, I am your new Kaby Lake Motherboard. Nice to see you on my first ever run. I have seen that you have some disks attached to me. They must be new because I am ....Let me initialize a raid on them."
Me: o0 (W)ell (T)hat's (F)antastic!*

* Finished restoring a 6TB Backup to my raidz mirrors this morning at 6am, fuuuuu**

** Kaby Lake Rocks nonetheless

Initial opinion: Visual Studio is the best IDE, hands down.
Tell friend to install it
"Runs like s**t"
Troubleshooting...
Final opinion: Visual Studio is the best IDE... If you have at least 8GB of RAM and an SSD.

Those living in Sydney know there's an app called Opal you can use to navigate public transport.

Part of this is app is a trip planner which can suggest the fastest route to your destination, and is aware of train and bus movements in real-time (supposedly)

Me: Fastest route from station T to station C
App: In 5 minutes, walk 12 minutes to station M and board train. You will arrive at your destination by 20:12

5 minutes later...
Me: Fastest route from station T to station C
App: In 1 minutes, board train. It is the same train that will arrive at station M in 12 minutes. You will arrive at your destination by 20:12

Am I going mad, or does they algorithm stink?

Having that teacher that just laughs at you and makes you look like an inferior piece of sh*t just cuz you ask a question in CS class..
Any question for that matter
And of course he is the head of department...

And with that: hi guys, i'm new, seems like a lot of fun here :D

!dev

So apparently markets that are getting HBO Max are about to lose their ability to stream the full Ghibli catalog anywhere else. And they'll only be offering a handful of the titles from it in the most market-friendly cuts, even though they licensed broad market distribution rights to the whole thing.

Not a strong start, about from I expect from AT&T though. Now people the world over get to see how shitty the murican telephone conglomerates are. 🥳

I never dream about tech (at least not specific) but recently I had a dream rotating around the fact that terminators (e.g. T-800) are safe to be stored on Windows 95 as they can only boot from NES cartridge.

Yo rate my investment portfolio! I tried to build it to ensure the best possible stability:

33% futures
33% binary options
33% random cryptocurrencies
1% AT&T stock (one piece)

What ever i do, i can 't get to bed early. Damn bugs keep me awake at night. Any tips on how to let go of work in the evening?

!dev
People these days...
At a bakery 3 girls didn't bother to clean up after themselves although the only thing left to do was to t aske the tray and dump it's contents into the trash can WHICH IS ON THEIR WAY OUT. Yeah but have enough time to cake on rediculous amounts of makeup...

Someone literally shat at the tram stop at the main station so whenever took leave the tram you might just step into it.

Then there are always those religious people trying to hand out pamplets about how great their religion is and how much it is helping- they stand right next to a crippled homeless begger.

Just wow.

How do I help my colleague in fighting harrassment?
This is the story of a helpless employee facing everyday harassment. Im trying to help. Seeking for your thoughts

Backstory fast forwarded: My company acquired another company. So we handle all their projects and clients now, but its a completely new domain. So we needed new people. Hired 4 employees + 1 team lead to start with. But the project process got delayed and they were free for a month. So i took 2 of them in my project and gave them some small tasks to help us over. They loved working with my team and were learning new stuff apart from what they usually did. And we were also happy of their contribution. We became good friends. All of this was in March 2020 before covid-19 was taken seriously.

About my company: I love this company. I have been in this company for more than 4 years now. People are really nice. Parties and fun events. Lot of smart and ambitious people. So company and people are awesome.

Coming back to the story. Lets call the team the 4 and team lead T. The 4 were happy that someone like T was in their team. This T had all the best knowledge about stuff and life was going to be awesome for the 4. Or was it?

Story starts: So I talk to one of these 4 on daily basis. Lets call this friend F. F is a real gentle person. Intelligent and dedicated to work. F is awesome to work with. And always enjoyed working. F is a team player and very very soft person. F is fking workoholic. So few days after project starts, F tells me work was not going well. F is getting real frustrated at work and not able to deal with it or find solution.

What happened:
This person T, who was supposed to help these 4, is real piece of shit. He is impatient, arrogant and MFing dick head. Aaaarggggg.
All the good qualities of a leader like supporting the team, boosting confidence, guiding team when they make mistakes, teaching them, were all missing from this person. T was a machine with no emotion and only clock working jerk. I have no idea how T cleared interview process, because one of the interview round is also about cultural fit into company. I know this because i take interviews for other domains. We have rejected lot of such well qualified but arrogant candidates.

So whats the problem now: this team of 4 are learning new tools and taking over the clients requests from old company. Most of the stuff is new for them. So in tat case people need lot of time to understand and figure out shit. people make mistakes while learning and you know have to deal with it. Person T abuses these 4 when something goes wrong. That's one.

Second, the T definitely knows more than these 4. So if these guys dont understand certain stuff they ask T. But T does not help them learn. T will either say busy or run away by saying thats simple and ull know when time comes. REALLY MF???

Third, T does not talk nice. T is rude and does not listen to team members. For eg, If F says some task cannot be done for some reason T will say, "y cant u do it? U r capable of doing it. Tats y u r in this job". And then point number one and two happens. Never responds to emails and messages. But if someone else does the same will not tolerate that and abuses them. List goes on.

So y not escalate and deal with that T:
This person F and other 3 are still under probation and they think complaint or escalation will back fire. These people do not want to lose job in between all this pandemic shit. They are scared.

So this was happening for a while. And i was giving lot of tips on how to handle certain situations. And how one should communicate these.

But being a gentle, soft and workoholic person, F focussed on work and assumed things will get in place as time goes by.

Today, F could not meet a requirement. So T told some shit which got F all sad. and F called up me late night and started crying explaining what happened. I felt real bad. I asked F to file harrassment case. F refused saying it was F's mistake on not completing requirement. WHO THE FK CARES. PEOPLE CANNOT TALK SHIT. I told ill file harrassment case against T. (We have a policy where others can also file if person is not courageous enough). But F did not allow me.

Then after calming down, I told F that telling the problems to me wont solve them. You have to talk to T directly and tell him on face not to talk like this. Or tell the manager about whats happening. Or tell the the HR about this. F said tat cant be done. I was like Y THE FK NOT.

Because the other 3 are not ready to talk about this to anyone as they fear they'll lose job. So if F talks and people question other 3 they might bail out. WAT THE HOLY SPIRIT.

so after lot of convincing F is still not going to
Talk to anyone about this.

So i have decided ill write an anonymous email to HR, the manager and other senior people in the organisation about whats happening.

I really dont know how itll go. Ill keep updating you guys. Feel free to share ur thoughts.

Ds (dipshits) keep calling my phone 6-8 times a day. Almost all automated calls.

One day AI will handle these robocallers automatically. And then it will just be GAN style robocallers vs robosecretaries training against each other to become better and better at fooling each other.

And then suddenly, one day: skynet.

With a neutral female voice.

Or maybe an Indian accent.

"Hel. Lol. m I k r O s o t tech surprott. We detect virus on ur peesee. You will be assimilated. Where joon connor?"

Like a possessed speak-n-spell melting to death in a dumpster fire.

And we'll have done it to ourselves.

Those of you who did some kind of programming class in highschool, did they teach you about git?

I was talking to a friend the other day and we both said the one thing we wish we knew back then was git. Both us had projects go completely missing or fubar at T-10 seconds. I don't recall even knowing that version control was a thing

!dev

In 1964 t the news conference the Beatles were informed that a "stamp out the Beatles" movement is under way in Detroit.
They answered that they are going to start a campaign to stamp out Detroit.

Look at Detroit now - they won.

* break it into elementary steps, small enough to fit into your "estimation time unit", e.g. days or hours.
* estimate those steps for "developing at a leisurely pace" if nothing goes wrong.
* think about "what could go wrong" (list everything!) and adjust values accordingly.
* adjust total amount with experience values, like:
* times 1.2 for every manager
* times 1 to 4 based on which legacy projects i have to touch

and finally:
* multiply with `1+log(t/u,2)`, with `u` being the amount of useful data in the requirement description and `t` being the total amount of data in the requirement description
* sample: with our current "favourite" customer, about 90% of all tickets is garbage, so t/u = 100/10 = 10 => log(10,2) = 3.3 => multiply everything with 4.3

Just saw this at T-Mobile...

As a php developer, I don't know whether to be proud or sad

Sh*t. I think I'm going to lose my job bc the CEO thought I was an expert on React even thought I specifically told him I wasn't. I worked at least 12 hours everyday, sometimes including weekends for 4 weeks now. And still got yelled at for not being an expert.

If you tell your manager: "I only used this tech in my spare time", would they expect you to be working at expert level?

I'm very confused and seems like noone is understanding my side.

Feel like sh*t rn because I really need this job because I'm broke but I dont know how to say to the CEO that I warned him and the team lead that I was not an expert. And yet, they treat me like one....

40 minutes into trying to switch my Apple hbo account to my supposedly ‘free’ AT&T account... I hate Apple... fuck you... I hate ATT... I hate HBO... I don’t even really want to watch this stupid super hero movie... even if it might have an interesting political angle...

Oh. It worked. Never mind. Everything is fine. The dopamine covered up all of the anger and life can just keep on getting pushed a few inches a day until I slide off of the edge of the earth...

Guess who just spent the entire day before launch debugging why compose doesn't work on an ec2 instance where I DIDN"T INSTALL FUCKING DOCKER

I guess this is the key difference between me and seniors. Seniors know where to look where shit breaks because they have been breaking it for at least 5 years.

At math lessons I was like: "WTF is this shit, I don´t need that." Well I figured out that coding is not "copy&paste" from SO. :)

Trying to use authenticate a JWT token from an Azure service, which apparently needs to use Azure AD Identity services (Microsoft Entra ID, Azure AD B2C, pick your poison). I sent a request to our Azure admin. Two days later, I follow up, "Sorry, I forgot...here you go..."
Sends me a (small) screenshot of the some of the properties+GUIDs I need, hoping I don't mess up, still missing a few values.
Me: "I need the instance url, domain, and client secret."
<hour later>
T: "Sorry, I don't understand what those are."
Me: "The login URL. I assume it's the default, but I can't see what you see. Any shot you can give me at least read permissions so I can see the various properties without having to bother you?"
T: "I don't see any URLs, I'll send you the config json, the values you need should be in there."
<10 minutes later, I get a json file, nothing I needed>
<find screenshots of what I'm looking for, send em to T>
Me: "The Endpoints, what URLs do you see when you click Endpoints?"
<20 minutes later, sends me the list of endpoints, exactly what I'm looking for, but still not authenticating the JWT>
Me: "Still not working. Not getting an error, just that the authentication is failing. Don't know if it's the JWT, am I missing a slash, or what. Any way I can get at least read permissions so I don't have to keep bugging you to see certain values?"
T: "What do you need, exactly?"
Me: "I don't know. I don't know if I'm using the right secret key, I can't verify if I'm using the right client id. I feel like I'm guessing trying to make this work."
T: "What exactly are you trying to get working?"
<explain, again, what I'm trying to do>
T: "That's probably not going to work. We don't allow AD authentication from the outside world."
Me: "Yes we do. Microsoft Teams, Outlook, the remote access services. I can log into those services from home using my AD credentials."
T: "Oh yea, I guess we do. I meant what you are trying to do. Azure doesn't allow outside services to authenticate using a JWT. Sorry."

FRACK FRACK FRACK!!

Whew! Putting the flamethrower away.

Thanks devrant for letting me rant.

My left cortex: You have a paper to write @poster983. Put devrant down.

My right cortex: NO! Enjoy yourself. You have a study hall tomorrow. Do it then.

My left cortex: Remember, you already said that about history. Best to do it now!

*mouth makes farting noise*

My Right cortex: COME ON! IT'S HUCKLEBERRY FINN. JUST USE SPARK NOTES! DO IT L A T E R!

My left cortex: fuck you right.

My right cortex: right back at you.

*Snapchat buzzes*
My full brain: OK HALT THE DEVRANTS! THE BOYFRIEND IS TEXTING!

(Notice the recursion here?). This is why I can't ever write papers.
Same thing applies to when I'm programing. I end up spending 2 hours on something that only should have taken me 1.

My left cortex: Stop Ranting!

Help me.
💩

So my team (read: not the team at all) has decided that we are going to scrum. Someone ease tell me it's not as fucking tedious as it sounds. Sounds like it's just more meetings. Especially on this team which is actually already pretty agile. And the way our "certified scrum master" describes the retrospective sounds like it was designed by the type of shitlord PM that forces everyone to wear ugly t-shirts to the mandatory company barbecue for "team building". Please tell me he's just a terrible salesman.

Right, updating avatar to reflect summer suit

Short and T-Shirts (optional if at home office)

So we develop several apps for Android.
And since the whole company is full of .Net developers we´re using Xamarin.
That piece of software alone is worth more than one rant.

But today someone called and said he updated to the latest version he got from our server.
But now one of the menu points in the settings menu is opening the wrong mask.

I´m like ... what? Who fucked that one up now. Ok...
I look at the code and, I didn´t expect it to be honest, but it looks alright.
The menu point has the correct id. The function "OnOptionsItemSelected" looks for the correct id and opens the correct activity.
Just to be sure I also check the activity.
Everything good.

So I start up an emulator. Deploy the app in debug. Works correctly.
Create a self signed apk and install it on the emulator. Works.
Repeat the same with a tablet and my personal phone. It works.

Then I install the apk from the server and would you look at that.
It opens the wrong mask.

So it seems only if the app is compiled on the release server it shows that strange behaviour.

And for the love of my 1080ti I can´t figure out what causes it...

Thank you Xamarin!

My coworker has been freaking out that our company doesn't do Agile or Scrum right and it will negatively impact his career. He claims that some elite company will want him to prove he worked in well oiled Agile machine. He also claims his last company had it down to a T yet he voluntarily left so they couldn't have been that damn spectacular.

I'm on my 7th company and no one does this shit "right", everyone makes it up. Also it's impossible to prove that you worked in a perfect environment to a different employer, if they even care at all. If someone asks, just tell them what they want to hear because no one actually works in this mythical world of Agile perfection.

So, I just started Week of Code 23, this was my first online competition. I got the email to start the first challenge and I clicked the link, then I went to do something else. When I got back I solved the challenge in 5 minutes (or less idk). I clicked submit, and then looked at the leaderboard.
My current position was something around 900 and I took 70+ minutes to complete the assignment xD :p

Bye chances of winning a t-shirt

I`m new to coding. So i`m also new at ranting.

I know i have something to rant about. But my nerd culture is just not yet at the level.

I have been taught by a mate to used linux and started vanilla javascript. We use intellj as IDE.

So i have to speak to this client whose previous IT provider was gonna code his thing with ASP and visual studio!!!
Right?! WTF?!!! But that`s all i got!!!!

Im pretty sure its a wtf?! But i don`t have the rock solid reasons why.

Please ranters help me become better at rantong and tell me i`m not wrong and why ;)

Im ranting in progress of the issue so i dont get the urge to do any of the things not seem as acceptable to fix this issue.

Issue: yesterday i activated a device i havent had any (even prepaid) service on in years, and had a 'new'(to me) number assigned...

Today, after being sick so muting nuisances immediately for rest, i check, 3missed calls from the same, less spammy looking number. I havent use this number for even a txt code verification at all... aside from 1 call to comcast (for the blissful irony of seeing if its an option (they need to survey physically) since im suing my current isp who didnt take my VERY NICE and explictly required in their business t&c, refund for the issue's duration.. after months of tryjng to directly get a message (not using my not technically hacking expertise like just scrubbing for email formatting and popped up in their inbox (calling them is more frowned upon)...

Their conclusion as to "why" (they nvr solved the issue... dhcpv6 was in aggressive lease mode(no response per lease(NOT batches) of about 60 for about 20 devices which i ofc use my /28 static ipv4 block... not ipv6 (they also claimed there was no logs til i dug and found verbose, long history high/med high debug level logs in their prop. dev's gui... which they forced me to use, has 2 separate cores/stacks which is done for 1 reason only... constant simultaneous ipv4 and ipv6 (so ofc was auto enabled)...

Basically it was spamming do to a config issue with their scripts, and their WAN6 dev/script's config. Have found a single person who knows what ipv6 (or v4) or wan6 device actually means... their conclusion from multiple "specialist departments " ..."we dont support ipv6 so if u had issues caused by using something we dont support it's your fault... sooooo ludacris.

.... ok back to main point.
callback options
1 schedule a call back for "later"
2 dont schedule and hang up/try some other time
3. cancel callback and join the end of the cue(from previous message it told me a callback in 6-10m or lose your place in line and go to the end... hours later no call and they definitely have the number as it reiterated -.-
...
answer to wait in line>
experiencing extremely high wait time
>your current wait time 31-60m
2.5sec later.. let me connect you to a rep ...etc (identical as in callback options intro)
> your current wait time is 30sec
waiting nearly 25min whilst typing this.(i did make sweet potato stuff, propagated a rose, fed JSON some of his new, in closure buffet of things he previously never encounted and bought a literal ton of rubber mulch)40min to a rep 5more to solve (last guy at same position didnt know this option exited, despite me decribing it verbosely to him.

Everything the automated syst asks is about account numer... there is none ive never even had a burner that was at&t brand.

Wzf.

Friend : Have you take a look at this part? We will discuss it this Friday.
What I want to say :
"Don't underestimate my ability to procrastinate, sleep on my problem, run away from my responsibilities, and don't give a sh*t about everything."
What I actually said:
"Of course but I will look at it again thoroughly."
_______________________
Maybe my frustration and depression are not showing enough on my face.
: /

as you guys know this is still related on my prev rants, today i just found out that we cant bring or use headphone while we are on our work stations and guess what you cant chat with your team mates too unless its official business regarding the project other topics such as hobbies or anything are not allowed and you will get reported to the boss...

like G*d dammit you cant code since everything is blocked.. you cant install dev tools and sh*t you cant browse any websites *good thing is the did not block this site.. so far* ... you cant talk... its just staring at the ceiling for 8 freaking hrs -_- someone pls kill me

I think I need serious help because for like 2 weeks now i have been feeling so demotivated to code (and peoples project are with me). At times i feel like just doing some unproductive sh*t like watch stupid videos on youtube. I seriously don't know wtf is wrong with me. The way i felt when I started my journey in coding that fire, is no longer burning in me 😭😢

Me: I want a T-shirt

CodewithHarry: Register yourself at Hacktoberfest and contribute to Opensource by Making PRs on the only Readme file again and again

#storytime

Soon I'll start moving to a new place on the 16th and I wanted to change my address at the Internet provider (T).
go to provider website (T) reading that I need to call them...

CALL (T): .... Automatic answering machine.. ... longer than normal, covid19, 30 minutes later:

Operator: Hi moving, yes.. When? we send you an email with details to send Mechanic.

Next day: waking up. clicking mail on my phone in bed half sleepy. select 15th. next. next. next. accept. done.

Me happy :) .... One hour later realizing I said 15th.. and it should be 25... FUCK!!! Me Mad! Knowing what's going to happen...

Click link in mail to change date. You need to call (E).

CALL (E) : ... Automatic answering machine.. ... longer than normal, covid19, 1 hour later.... Give up..

CALL (E)(2): ... Automatic answering machine.. ... longer than normal, covid19, 1.2 hour later.... Give up..

Next day CALL (E)(3): ... Automatic answering machine.. ... longer than normal, covid19, 45 minutes later....

Operator: Hi, yes we can move to date 21. you need to call (R) to change fiber mechanic I'll patch you trough
CALL (T) : ... Automatic answering machine.. ... longer than normal, covid19, 30 minutes later....
Operator: You need to call (K) Here is the number 123456789..

CALL (K): ... Automatic answering machine.. ... longer than normal, covid19, 20 minutes later
Operator: This department (R) can not be reached by phone we will call you back.

Next day:
Incoming call from (K). Because you are moving to a new house you do not need (R). have a nice day.

Have a nice day to you too calm and friendly.
hopefully I won't be without internet for a couple of days...

At work we develop for embedded systems. Using the heap can raise unknown effects sometimes. So we always try to avoid using it. To show our attitude regarding the heap we want to make T-Shirts like the No Ma'am shirts from Married... with Children but with No Heap instead of No Ma'am. Now we need a meaning of the acronym. Our currently idea is:

Nerdy
Opponents of
HEAP
E
Allocation
Practice

We do not find a good word for the E, we also aren't native speaker, thus we are not sure which synonym for word like based can be used in such context. So i want to ask if someone has a good idea or even a better idea for the whole acronym :)

!rant, but holy shit the ZTE Axon M seems to be just perfect with its dualscreen setup, thats exactly what I fucking need on the go, but why is it US and AT&T only currently, come on!

!dev
So, what kind of clothes do you normally wear on a workday?

I just wear a t-shirt with some dev-inspired quote, some loose jeans (and undies) and some hiking shoes.
Once I have arrived at work, I take off my shoes and put on flipflops

Wrapping up at the end of the day, telling my colleague we can pick the rest of the task when we return on Monday..........only to find out we ARE Monday

Not sure where I hit my head today, but holy shit it sucks.

T-4 I guess

How stupid am i?

1. I tried to learn programming language.
- It just so freaking hard for me to understand. Failed at logic.

2. Tried to learn aws.
- Technically know how it works but often forgot the services name. (Was thinking to get aws cert).

3. Tried to learn OpenSource DB.
- Can do up to db setup only. Else i didnt understand sh*t.

4. Tried to learn cybersecurity.
- Ended up bunch of unwanted process in my vm.

I was envy that some of my friend only read documentation once & he is like know what to do.

Guys, any pro tips for poor man here?
I want to code, but somehow i stuck.

I feel dumb...

mobile browsers not refreshing stylesheets.

this is the worst thing that mankind ever did. I mean, when you are trying to design a website and the changes you make to the css are not loaded by the browser, you have no clue wtf is going on. There is no way to make the browser refresh the stylesheet. Reloading, entering the url manually, reopening the tab, restarting the browser, nothing works. The only fix is to manually clear the app's cache in android settings.

The strange thing here is that at first the stylesheet gets refreshed like it should, but after some time the cache seems to be capped and it wont load sh*t...

This is soooo frustrating :(((

Is it worthy to spend so much time solving hacker rank, codility, code chef challenges or just learning new technologies and becoming good a t it? At the end, where should we put our energy on?

In a similar vein to @Awlex's story, I lost 800GB of anime in a disk head crash. To this day, I have no idea how it happened.
We were getting our house painted and so my anime hard drive was left untouched for about a month, and then when I tried to connect it I found the disk head had crashed.

And then, a second time when I had managed to amass another 400GB of anime and something went wrong while I was trying to delete some other folders through Ubuntu's GUI (yeah, I know) and my anime folder was accidentally shift-deleted. T-T

Now my collection is back up at 300GB and I only use command-line to delete multiple folders now.

Mid - senior dev (L from now on) comes in on a project to help out. Starts working on creating a dashboard for the application. Work is progressing, new ideas come in, team lead (TL) is ok with everything, business analyst (BA) is also ok. The dashboard even gets thru testing (T), everything is great. In comes (A), a (probably bored) junior backend dev.

A little backstory about (A):
- seated right next to (TL)
- most discussion about every developed feature take place at (TL)-s desk, right next to (A)
- (A) was also present when discussions took place between (TL) and (BA) about dashboard
- (A) could have easily heard any number of the other team members (over 15) talk about the dashboard

Well, (A) comes into the picture ... and the dashboard (first page after login, big shiny new thing, working just fine ...) breaks. Well, breaks is a little understated. Disappears would be more exact. Cause (A) commented it out. NOT deleted from code. JUST commented out the code.

But why you ask? Because he didn't know what it did and why it was there.
No asking around, no looking up history in repository, no looking up tasks that might be related to that ... no nothing.
He's a backend dev, there's something new and unknown in the backend, the new thing has to go.

(L) didn't scream, (TL) didn't scream, (BA) didn't scream, (T) didn't scream ...
I almost screamed. This didn't happen to me, or (A) would have screamed!

"I became a graphic artist because of the tools. I love working at a big drawing table with traditional tools: T-squares, compasses, mechanical pencils, French curves, blank ink, and graphite. At a computer, one works on a keyboard. I never considered myself a typist." - Michael Schwab

spent 3 days at internship looking for a bug that's stopping the program from running correctly all the way though

5 minuets before i have to leave I change a single value up 1 increment just because I've had it with the program and for some reason works perfectly just how I want it to SOME GOD DAMN REASON I DON"T KNOW YET

Today is just about me going through some reading for the next step and trying to figure out why the hell that worked

Got an email at work today that says that we will no longer be able to join the audio portion of our WebEx meetings, but will have to dial in on our phones. I can participate interactively in a conference over 1000 miles away, but I can't do that in the same building? Are we using 10base T? Or because they put every freaking thing on virtual servers? Yikes!

Jesus fuck generic number adding in rust is pissing me off

why did I decide to do this

I literally don't have to

let's just add 12 traits and then find out it doesn't know how to divide by usize. well how the hell am I supposed to convert it then. there's no trait for "f64 as f32" so now my shit looks like spaghetti cuz of that, now this...

so let's see I could call into() on usize to get it to be unknown T number... but there's no way for it to know what to convert to and I can't determine if there's any way for me to tell it that

THESE STRAITJACKETS
I might just need a padded room at this rate
*goes to sleep* later

.... required for usize to implement Into<T> wat

😩
I suspect that's gonna be another dead end
GOod ErrOrS

Anyone else remember at googles summer of code in 2006-ish google catching heat for hiring strippers to give the male devs lap dances ?

those were they days ! I wanted to work for google so much after that.

we need to bring the debauchery into development lol

notably, google has erased all evidence of that new story now that they have become staffed baby raping, tree hugging, snarky fucking homosexual clowns.

and btw i am an environmentalist and I don';t care if someone is actually gay. I'm also practical and like boobs. unfortunately i don't think thats whats working at google.

Just tried some keyboard type practice. I'm stuck at around 30wpm (40 is average) and feel like I've hit a cognitive barrier. Whatever I do I mess up the R und T keys frequently as well as occasionally some other keys. I feel like a retard, as I sometimes need to rethink where the key is that I want to press, even though I've hit it like a thousand times before.
😪

I am either so fed up with work or I am sleep deprived that I actually went to work with my t-shirt inside out, and only noticed it when I looked at myself in the mirror.

Pretty sure I'm fed up with work.

Four major network disruptions on east coast the past week. Today fiber cut in Florida effecting central Florida. Verizon, AT&T and Sprint have each had disruptions impacting many businesses and customers. Coincidence?

deff not dev related at all

random as fuck enough to warrant some scientific analysis to it tho.

if you is a brown Hispanic and you somehow marry a white chick. It is a damn near close to a T statistical fact that you will not shut the fuck up about it.

Experiencing this with a friend on both fb and Instagram. I swear to high haven, my fb looks like a fucking fan page of all the pictures of his below average looking white wife.

Dude I get it, but please stfu already with this shit.

...SNOOOOOZE

AT&T LTE broadband: 25Mbps down, 10Mbps up, $100/month

T-Mobile LTE broadband: 90Mbps down, 25Mbps up, $50/month

straight fucking upgrades out of nowhere

While at a *coding* conference, with lots and lots of techy devs in attendance, many using mobile devices, a vendor decided to hold a hacking contest. Hack their little problem, get a t-shirt. Hack their big problem, get a bigger prize. I go to their website and notice:

1) they force me to create an account to do either problem.

2) the fucking bag of salty dicks can't even manage to make a responsive website. I mean, I could have fixed that for the cocksuckers while at the conference. But no, the shit company comes to a place full of devs and has a shitty website. Like, make your eyes bleed like a leaky sack of vaginas, bad.

I solved their little problem as fast as I could and deleted my account out of spite.

I’m at my last hair with this job; I report to 3 (two mid-level; one senior) project managers. The senior PM decided not to fix up the company’s jira and has encouraged “I’ll tell you what to do by mail, text, call. Even outside office productivity apps,” and I didn’t mind it but it’s become unbearable. Each of these PMs manage at least one client that I have to work with — in essence, any given day I’m reporting to these PMs, for multiple tasks for at least 2 clients, especially for MVPs. One of the mid-level PM (let’s call her T) has taken it upon herself to make me look bad. I’m the only developer at the company; when I joined the only two developers had already left a week prior, so I was their replacement (no one mentioned this to me during any of the 3 interviews).

T reports to the senior PM and senior PM, who is friends with T from outside the job, would also give T instructions to provide me in regard to Senior PM’s clients. To made this clearer, Senior PM’s client would request for a feature or whatever, Senior PM would prepare a lousy document and send to T to send to me, just so, T can have things to say in standup daily like “I reached out to the Dev to fix xyz’s something something,” so this means I have had to tolerate T twice as much as the other PMs. (She’s new to the job, a week after me — Senior PM brought her in — they both do not have technical experience relating to work tools for programming but I can say Senior PM knows how to manage clients; talk shop).

Anyhow, T gets off by making me look bad and occasionally would “pity” me for my workload but almost in a patronizing way. T would say I don’t try to reply messages in 5 minutes time after I receive them (T sends these messages on WhatsApp and not slack, which is open during work hours). T would say, “I can’t quite get a read of this Engineer — you(me) are wired differently,” whenever one of T’s requests is yet to be completed because I’m handling other requests including T’s, even though T had marked the completed ones as Done on her excel sheet (no jira).

In all of this, I still have to help her create slides for our clients on all completed tasks for the week/month, as senior PM would tell me because “T is new to this.” We’ve been at the job for roughly 4 months now.

I have helped recruit a new developer, someone the company recommended — I was only told to go through their résumé and respond if they are a good fit and I helped with the interview task (a take-home project — I requested that the applicant be compensated as it’s somewhat a dense project and would take their time — HR refused). The company agreed with the developer’s choice of full WFH but would have me come in twice a week, because “we have plenty live clients so we need to have you here to ensure every requests are handled,” as if I don’t handle requests on my WFH days.

Yesterday, T tried making me look bad, and I asked, “why is it that you like making me look bad?” in front of HR and T smiled. HR didn’t say anything (T is friends with HR and T would occasionally spill nonsense about me to HR, in fact they sit together to gossip and their noise would always crawl to my corner; they both don’t do much. T would sleep off during work hours and not get a word for it — the first time I took a 10 minutes break to relax, T said, “you look too comfortable. I don’t like that,” and HR laughed at T’s comment. While it was somewhat a joke, there was seriousness attached to it). As soon as HR left, I asked T again, “why is it that most of the things you say are stupid?”, T took offense and went to her gossip crew of 4, telling them what I had just said, then T informed senior PM (which I’m fine with as it’s ideal to report me to her superior in any circumstance). Then I told those who cared to listen, T’s fellow gossipers, that I only said that in response to T’s remark to me in front of them, a while back, that I talked like I’m high on drugs.

I’ve lost my mind compiling this and it feels like I’m going off track, I’m just pissed.

I loved the work challenges as I’ve had to take on new responsibilities and projects, even outside my programming language, but I’m looking for a job elsewhere. My salary doesn’t not reflect my contributions and my mental health is not looking good to maintain this work style. I recall taking a day off as I was feeling down and had anxiety towards work, only to find out HR showed T my request mail and they were laughing at me the next day I showed up, “everybody’s mental health is bad too but we still show up,” and I responded to T, “maybe you ought to take a break too”.

The Youth

How is the youth?

Pretty good question we don´t really like to communicate to older people well actually most of us have a mental issue, I know it´s kind of sad but when life gives you lemons you use them to make girls cry and that our way of thinking “I´m gonna die anyways lrts do something epic” cuz we aren't afraid to talt to the president of the united states of America like this but we are to scared to order mcdonalts of our self. I mean it´s a aspect that everyone knows we don´t know that person could be a murder of maybe that´s a little to over the top but like we just don´t like it OK.

You may ask what dose she mean with mental health issues?

Well we all know the good old depression its just that we life in a world in that you have to be perfect and when you are´t than you are a disappointment your parents want you to be a doctor or lawyer or something like that because it´s a well payed job but your generation wants to be creative we need our space to crate need things and do something amazing but this world is just a weird place were everyone has to be perfect and follow a ideal. Your appearance dosen´t describes how you are not everyone that has tattoos is a criminal or dose drugs nobody talks about the real problems.

What are the real problems?

Let me tell you we life in a world were nobody talks abou suicide nobody want´s to hear about it let me tell a fact.

Every 40 seconds somebody dies because of suicide.

Suicide is like a terror act when you were close to that person you got completely destroyed if you were far away than you got hurt but not as bad as the persons who were close. But nobody talks about this because it´s not “normal” that makes the persons who need help not reach out because they think its´s not okay.Stop the silence and help :)
But how dose it feel to have depression?

Well you can describe it as this:

it´s as you would lock yourself in a room with just a window but that window dose not have a handle but a curtain that closes every day a little more until there is no light anymore and the first days after that happens you will be scared and lonely and it will hunt you down but depressed people have to life like this every day and it becomes a normal state of mind until they decide they aren´t worth living anymore and they try to kill themselves. It hurts to see all those people die but it is the truth and truth is´t always fun.

Why am I writing this?

Honestly im asking myself that but it just feels right to tell wahts in my mind because a lot of people feel like they are tongue tied and can´t say what they are thinking and feeling and don´t express themselves. And also in my head is a lot wrong but at least I feel like I am doing something while writing this. I am one of the generation Z and I am proud that our generation has all this strength to fight for LGBT+ community and the black life's and I am proud that we understood that all this community's have to be respected because all people are on this earth and we all have to survive somehow and it dose not matter what skin color you have or sexual orientation.

But these are just my thoughts I hope everyone is doing well druing these times.

And to everyone I am proud of you and I love you.

When is gonna be the day that I can easily install some new si*t on my system and it works at the first?

Hi devRant. Wanna rant with some shit about my company. First some good parts. I work in company with 600+ employees. It's one of the best companies in my region. They provide you with any kind of sweets(cookies, coffee, tea, etc), any hardware you need for your work (additional monitor, more ram, SSDs, processor, graphics card, whatever), just about everything you need to make your work faster/comfortable. Then, we have regular reviews (every 6 months), which rise salary from $0.75 to $1.5 per hour. (I live in poor country, where $15 per hour makes your more solvent then 70% of people, so having 100-200 bucks increase every half year is quite good rise).
The resulting increase of review depends on how team leader and project manager are satisfied with my work. And here starts the interesting (e.g. the shit comes in).
1) Seniority level in our company applies depending on the salary you have. That't right. It does not depend on your skill. Except the case when you're applying to vacancy. So if you tell that you're senior dev and prove it during interview, you'll have senior's salary. This is fine if you're just want money. But not if you love programming (as me) because of reasons bellow.
2) You don't need to have lots of programming experience to be a team leader. You can even be a junior team leader (but thanks god, on research projects only). You start from leading research projects and than move to billable if the director of research department is satisfied with your leading skills.
As a consequence our seniors are dumb AF. This pieces me off the most. Not all of them. A would say half of them are real pro guys, but the rest suck at programming (as for a senior). They are around junior/middle level.
I can understand if guy has $15 rate but still remains junior dev. That's fine. But hell no, he is treated as a middle, because his rate is $10+ now! And his mind has priority over middles and juniors. Not that junior have lof of good tougths but sometimes they do.
I'm lucky to work yet on small project so I'm the only dev, and so to speak TL for myself. But my colleague has this kind of senior team leader who is dumb AF. They work on ASP.NET Core project, the senior does not even know how to properly write generic constraints in C#. Seriously.
Just look at this shit. Instead of

MyClass<T> where T: class {}

he does this:

abstract class EnsureClass {}
MyClass<T> where T: EnsureClass {}

He writes empty abstract class, forces other classes to inherit it (thus, wasting the ability to inherit some useful class) just to ensure that generic T is a class. What thA FUCK is wrong with you dude?! You're a senior dev and you don't even know the language you're codding in.
And this shit is all over the company. Every monkey that had enough skill just to not be fired and enough patience to work 4-5 years becomes a senior! No-fucking-body cares and reviews your skill increase. The whole review is about department director asking TL and PM question like "how is this guy doing? is he OK or we should fire him?" That's the whole review. If TL does not like you, he can leave bad review and the company will set you on trial. If you confront TL during this period, pack your suitcase. Two cases of such shit I know personally. A good skilled guy could not just find common language with his TL and got fired. And the cherry on top of the case is that thay don't care about the fired dev's mind. They will only listen to reviewer. This is just absurd and just boils me down.
That's all i wanted to say. Thanks for your attention.

can anyone educate me more about computer networking as a career?
Routers , protocols , network towers, 4g/5g , internet, firewalls, wired/wireless etc , these must be part of some kind of decent job i guess? (I mean there are those guys who just know how to install these in people's systems and then there are guys who are researching and learning about these systems).

- What is the job opportunity? how and when can we start a career there?
- How difficult it is to reach telecom giants like cisco, at&t , airtel, google fiber etc ?
- How interesting is the work there?
- what programming knowledge should we know or we will be learning about?
- How stable is the career there?

Self-isolation takes its toll on people's lives and, naturally, on interviews for our platform . So, a technical interview with a DevOps engineer at Zoom. The candidate started to surprise us already in the first minutes of the meeting. To begin with he apparently decided that the formality was enough at the first stage of the interview and decided to talk to the technical experts in a T-shirt and lying on the couch. That would have been fine, but in the middle of the interview his caring wife came in and insisted that the husband should eat his sandwiches and drink his tea. The candidate tried to remain unperturbed and undistracted, but his short "no", "don't want to", "come on!" didn't take effect. At one point, the applicant's wife escalated the tone of the conversation and threw a sandwich at him, promising to do the same with the tea. The supervisor and I became worried about the candidate and already in the voice of his wife began to persuade him to take a break for an afternoon snack. And such stressful interviews happen, and not at the company's initiative.

Sure am glad they decided to take a break for 20 years from allowing people to learn and to work on their own shit.

So great for example we have a cheapo government, that won;t invest money into people to learn things like the underlying lowlevel aspects of the kernel and an fbi office like that in philadelphia that would rather drug the adherent and let them wake up somewhere else, twice.

if i were them i'd be looking at said formerly blond long haired 40 something bitch manning that post.

Yesterday's was fucking stupid.

It all begins with a fucking online clothes shop that "cancelled" my order from a week ago because "PayPal detected strange account movements". I logged into my PP Account and no notice or whatsoever of that.

Then they tell me I'll have to wait around for ~30 days to get my money back. Are you fucking damn serious? First you delay my fucking order a week then you cancel it without contacting me to "reassure" I put the order and then you say that I'll have my money back on 30 days? Fuck you.

Thereafter, I was going to buy a new phone, which two weeks ago I already went to request a quotation and they told me I was ready to go with paying 50% off.

Well... fuck me, because I went yesterday and they told me that I couldn't get the phone becase "The system says you already have three lines with our company, and all of those have money due" What? Fucking shit, I went two weeks ago and everything was fine, and now this? I don't even have an account in that stupid company and now they tell me I have three with late payments?

FUCKING HELL!!

As if everything wasn't going bad already, I went off and said I'll come back today to see "if the system has been corrected", so I went to grab a burger at McDonalds that's on my way back home.

I make my order and the cashier is like "Hurr durr.. The card terminal doesn't work, do you have cash? If not, don't worry I can cancel the order and switch to the other station so i can charge you"

ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS? I mean, come on dude! If you know that the shitty card terminal doesn't work and the station that it's fully functional it's literally three fucking steps next to you, WHY THE FUCKING FLYING FUCK ARE YOU USING THE WRONG ONE?

Then I wait for my order, that I saw they prepared and was ready like in 5 minutes, but the guy went and stood looking at the void. Then he realizes and begins to pick my food and set it up. He puts it on a tray and stands there, I stand there looking at him.

"My order was to go" I said... then he's like "Oh, yeah" and begins to pack.

Dude... the order is in the fucking screen, I said the cashier that It was to go... jesus.

Then I tell him "Can you put some sweet mustard packages?"
"Yeah" he says... but I looked away. When I arrived home, I opened the bag and... FUCKING HELL, NORMAL MUSTARD.

I told him twice, even said "please" and "thank you", but hell no, he had ONE JOB, and he didn't do it.

Seriously guys, stop this fucking mess, somebody call `kill`

Doesn’t it bother anyone else that both HTTP/2 and HTTP/3 were both SPDY and QUIC at Google first? Yeah I know ideas have to “come from somewhere” and I guess it’s not really any different than the AT&T/Bell Labs/MIT of the past; but something doesn’t feel right.

meecrob (mic' rob):
‘meecrob’ is a curse word that is far worse than ‘sh-t’. It is that stuff you get as an appetizer at Thai food restaurant. It tastes way grosser than shit.

The knights of standards and practices (the royal order of standards and practices) prevent this word and other ‘words of curse’ from being over-used. if a curse-word is spoken too much, gelden (the monster) will rise and destroy the earth.

mekrob is one of the worst of these words and is hated by GOD, as much as it is by Eric cartman.

E.g:
1. Eric cartman would scarf down a wet bucket full of shit before he ate another plate of meecrob.

Fans: please raise your hands.

About five months ago, I started a new job as a manager in a nonprofit with approximately 30 full-time employees and over 100 part-time employees. In my department, I inherited one full-time assistant and 15 part-time direct reports. We are a public-facing department with a large social media presence.

The organization’s employee handbook has a clearly-defined business casual dress code policy: no jeans, t-shirts, sneakers, etc. However, everyone here dresses like a slob. On my first day, my assistant was wearing rumpled cargo shorts and a t-shirt with holes. My part-timers routinely show up in jeans, sweatpants, and the type of clothing I’d usually reserve for yard work. My own supervisor wears jeans and an untucked t-shirt.

I’ve always been someone who enjoys dressing up for work. My typical work wardrobe consists of dresses, skirts or slacks, blouses, and blazers. It drives me nuts when people look unpolished and unprofessional at work, but that seems to be the accepted culture around here.

Would it be out of line to enforce the company dress code in my own department, even if it’s not enforced anywhere else? Or am I just being an elitist?

Am I stupid ?

So this seems like such a simple problem.

You have a block pixels.

If the pixels around a pixel are within tolerance (t), then they are included as part of shape. if a connected pixel to the original pixel has other pixels within tolerance (t) from it, they are also included in the shape.

the block of pixels has been reduced to a simple on/off state, no color considerations necessary.

Creating a bounding box around the beginning and end of data can lead to strange exceptions, so the method suggested seems the best way.

But its sooooooooooooo slow when you get large noisy images.

I've tried doing this a few different ways.

The last I tried is dividing everything line segments, classifying them by orientation (diagonal, horiz, vert, point) and then dividing the canvas into panels of so many pixels to prevent #oflines^2 comparisons, placing them lines in and then testing for intersection of the lines in one panel at a time.

Is there another way ?

i think you all know about YouTube and its super power "Recommended for You"... like when some stupid friend sends you a my little pony video and you just can't get rid of it... Well just a few minutes ago this friend of mine sent me some weird japanese video s**t with battleships and flying girls shooting at each other enjoying it...
Please send a prayer or two for me I'm going to need it

WTF?
W_T_F?
W-T-F?
W$T$F?

how the fuck do you brand codebases?

say you've got a brand called dicks,

and you've got a website, api server, some SDK's, and whatever else. How do you format the codebase names so it's A, usable as a variable name, B clickable at the variable part of the name, C, that's fucking it

dicks-website can't be used in js because

dicks-website = require('dicks-website') won't work

dicks_website can't be used in url's and in general because double clicking any part will select the whole word, so you can't replace dicks_X easily.

dicks$api seems to work, dicks and api are seperately clickable, and usable as a variable in javascript. I already know that the $ sign probably fucks up many many systems so that's probably a no go

has this question been addressed already?

Everything is better than learning at the colloquium. I'm just writing the engine to create multiplayer games. It is useful more than the graphic method of... something.

Programming studies are $#(t.

shall we begin the terraform stories?

terraforming things is nice. the vcloud director provider of Terraform is also nice..ish.

for fucks sake, why do folks at VMware release a provider for use in fucking production, that only does support barely a third of all features, including the distributed logical router with all its funkyfuck features? nsx-t is nice, but did you folks remember all of those customers, who do run the old nsx-v?
you've decided that nsx-v shall be put to sleep. okay. fine. nice.
but don't you think, that the version 3.3.ass should support all major resources of your product, including old nsx-v features like the fucking DLR?!

sorry, but a product, that only supports ⅓ of all features, that can be managed in UI, only deserves a RC label at best. calling this a 3.3.ass is bold. you can't even setup a dhcp pool for a defined network. dafuq people..?! (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻

I have hoed around in different technologies during my university life, Web dev, game dev, cybersecurity (even got a CEH certificate, the training wasn't adequate tho and it's an expensive field needing all those certs), tried blockchain, machine learning but at the end, I haven't gotten anything done. No big projects.... well, apart from a miniproject that extracts text from videos, doesn't work half the time (T-T), No internships...no experience, nothing. I was really, reaaally dumb xD

Now, in my 4th and final year of university , I have decided to settle on Web development (MERN) with game dev on the side (leisure activities), but I need advice.

Before deciding my path, I enrolled in the year-long ALX Software Engineering course. I'm in my 6th month. It promises access to The Room, where they say job opportunities that aren't shared publicly exist. Problem with the course, tho, is they rush, and I don't get time to consolidate what I learn in the course. I feel like i am not gaining anything (first few months were cool). I am on the verge of giving up cos I found solace in FullStackOpen. It teaches MERN, is self-paced, and ergo gives me time to build my portfolio and has a nice community. I know what to do (quit and focus on my portfolio and projects cos my CV is crap ), but advice from you all could really help. Thanks in advance seniors, this little brother appreciates it.

I am very pleased with the help R O O T K IT S REC O VE RY FIRM rendered in restoring my lost crypto investment from scammers.. I was encouraged to invest in a cryptocurrency company through an advert that i watched on the facebook . it was actually interesting and seems profitable so i contacted the company and they responded.. i asked a few question and i was assured that everything works perfectly and legit. At first i started with 5000 USD after awhile i had it returned to me together with my profits with no problems. As a result of that i continued trading as i was also advised to upgrade to the Millionaire package where you will earn much more off your trading, i did upgraded and invested more funds that my account was showing in excess of 1,280,902 USD but when I tried to take some of the profits my account went from the above to zero within 60 seconds and then after making complaints to the support i was told that I had not completed the required trades and also that their were suspicious activities on my account.. it was certainly over my head and honestly didn’t know what to do at that moment so i had to invest more but still not able to withdraw a dollar to my bank, they had full control of my account, and have refused me to withdraw anything. i finally came to know that most crypto investment companies are bunch of criminals and scammers.., so i went in search for possible means to recover my funds. Well i must say that I’m very fortunate to have been able to recover all my funds back through the help of R O O T K I TS R E C O V E RY F IRM. got so many recommendations on them by fellow victims online who has been scammed and recovered theirs back. so i contacted them for help and they delivered at the End. i thank God so much that such Team as ROOTKITS RECOVERY FIRM do exist to help victims who have been defrauded. If you have been scammed of your Crypto or been in a similar situation you contact this Team for help via Telegram; ROOTKITS7 or Email; R O O T K I T S 4 @G M A I L . COM

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