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#3 Worst thing I've seen a co-worker do?
A 20-something dev, 'A', back in the early days of twitter+facebook would post all his extracurricular activities (drinking, partying, normal young-buck stuff). The dev mgr, 'J', at the time took offense because he felt 'A' was making the company look bad, so 'A' had a target on his back. Nothing 'A' did was good enough and, for example, 'J' had the source control czars review 'A's code to 'review' (aka = find anything wrong). Not sorting the 'using' statements, and extra line after the closing }, petty things like that. For those curious, orders followed+carried out by+led by 'T' in my previous rant.
As time went on and 'T' finding more and more 'wrong' with A's code, 'J' put A on disciplinary probation. 'A' had 90 days to turn himself around, or else.
A bright spot was 'A' was working on a Delphi -> C# conversion, so a lot of the code would be green-field development and by simply following the "standards", 'A' would be fine...so he thought.
About 2 weeks into the probation, 'A' was called into the J's office and berated because the conversion project was behind schedule, and if he didn't get the project back on track, 'A' wouldn't make it 30 days. I sat behind 'A' and he unloaded on me.
<'A' slams his phone on his desk>
Me: "Whoa...whats up?"
A: "Dude, I fucking hate this place, did you hear what they did?"
<I said no, then I think we spent an hour talking about it>
Me: "That all sucks. Don't worry about the code. Nobody cares what T thinks. Its not even your fault the project is behind, the DBAs are tasked with upgrades and it's not like anyone is waiting on you. It'll get done when it's done. Sounds like a witch hunt, what did you do? Be honest."
A: "Well, um...I kinda called out J, T, and those other assholes on facebook. I was drunk, pissed, and ...well...here we are."
Me: "Geez, what a bunch of whiney snowflakes. Keep your head down and you'll get thru it, or don't. Its not like you couldn't find another job tomorrow."
A: "This is my first job out of college and I don't want to disappoint my dad by quitting. I don't even know what I'm supposed to be doing. All J told me was to get better. What the fuk does that even mean?"
Me: "He didn't give you any goals? Crap, for someone who is a stickler for the rules, that's low, even for J."
Fast forward 2 weeks, I was attending MS TechEd and I was with another dev mgr, R.
R: "Did you hear? We had to let 'A' go today."
Me: "What the hell? Why?"
R: "He couldn't cut it, so we had to let him go."
Me: "Cut what? What did he do, specifically?"
R: "I don't know, 'A' was on probation, I guess he didn't meet the goals."
Me: "You guess? We fire a developer working on a major upgrade and you guess? What were these so-called goals?"
R: "Whoa...you're getting a little fire up. I don't know, maybe not adhering to coding standards, not meeting deadlines?"
Me: "OMG...we fire people for not forming code? Are you serious!?"
R: "Oh...yea...that does sound odd when you put it that way. I wish I'd talk to you before we left on this trip"
Me: "What?! You knew they were firing him *before* we left? How long did you know this was happening?"
R: "Honestly, for a while. 'A' really wasn't a team player."
Me: "That's dirty, the whole thing is dirty. We've done some shitty things to people, but this is low, even for J. The probation process is meant to improve, not be used as a witch hunt. I don't like that you stood around and let it happen. You know better."
R: "Yea, you're right, but doesn't change anything. J wanted to do it while most of us were at the conference in case 'A' caused a scene."
Me: "THAT MAKES IT WORSE! 'A' was blindsided and you knew it. He had no one there that could defend him or anything."
R: "Crap, crap, crap...oh crap...jeez...J had this planned all along...crap....there is nothing I can do no...its too late."
Me: "Yes there is. If 'A' comes to you for a letter of recommendation, you write one. If someone calls for reference, you give him a good one."
R: "Yea..yea...crap...I feel like shit...I need to go back to the room and lie down."
As the sun sets, it rises again. Within a couple of weeks, 'A' had another job at a local university. Within a year, he was the department manager, and now he is a vice president (last time I checked) of a college in Kansas City, MO.10
Probably the most rage inducing data loss story...
When it comes to my cellphone I'm a data hoarder, I store each relevant meme, conversation, video, contact, nudes, etc. Had to replace my phone? Easy, change the SD.
I did this for about 4 years, had over 11GB of almost everything and anything in a 36GB SD, one afternoon my buddies and I went to a small tech convention and on our way to my car we got mugged by 5 armed men.
They took my brand new phone along with my wallet and all my cash, luckily I had GPS tracking enabled and we were able to pinpoint the exact location of my phone within 30min.
So far so good...
We called the cops and went with them, we found the car with illegal plates and weapons inside (knives, a bat, gun) so I tell the robbers were in there inside a closed cyber cafe and showed him the point on the map confirming this.
Cop: oh we can't do that we don't have an order...
Me: are you kidding me, here's the GPS, there's the car, there's the weapons, doesnt that count as at least probable cause or some shit?
Cop: we don't have that in this country, you can file a report and after 3 business days we can come here to inquire.
Me: (fucking lost it) do you fucking think they'll be here in 3 days?! I'll give you 500 bucks if you go bust their ass now.
Cop: (thinks about it) but what if they are armed? [4 patrols, 8 cops, 4 rifles and at least 6 guns plus vests] Maybe if you had contacts within the bureau we could have an order now...
I lost a lot that day, including respect to this fucked up system.
t(ಠ益ಠt) FUCK THE POLICE go eat a dick.10
Windows 10 had one groundbreaking UI innovation, but no one adopted it and even Windows 11 discareded this revolutionary idea:
BUTTONS NEXT TO EACH OTHER AND AT THE EDGE OF A BOX DON"T NEED AN ADDITIONAL MARGIN
Windows 10 was the first and last OS where I never accidentally clicked right next to the X on a window, in a passive area that had no other purpose so it might as well have belonged to that motherfucking button.
I passionately hate this trend, adopted nowadays by every OS, that everything needs to be rounded, separated from the things around it, and "allowed to breathe". They don't breathe. They're not alive. They're fucking UI elements and the space between them is unused, lost space.
The only interaction a button has with its surroundings is that it pushes other content away to make room for itself and responds to the cursor. It doesn't wiggle, it doesn't grow and shrink, and it ESPECIALLY doesn't fucking breathe. Please, just let me click the motherfucking button.
Relatedly, do you know of a good, preferably bluish dark GTK theme that provides window decorations that stretch the full height of the titlebar and are laid out next to each other at the very end of the bar without gaps?8
A couple of weeks ago, I got to the second stage of a recruitment process with a relatively big fintech in the crypto space (I know) - all went well and although I did not think much of it at first, with all the information I had gathered I came to realize this might as well be the best opportunity I've had in my pursuit of finding a new job (i.e looking for high technical challenges, unsure of where I see myself in 5 years, wanting to give full-remote work a try, etc.).
Cue to the end of the interview;
"That's great! I really enjoyed speaking with you, your technical background seems excellent so we would like to move to the next stage which is a take-home test to do in your free time.", said the interviewer.
"Wow! Much amaze, well of course! What's it gonna be?", said the naive interviewee.
"I'm sending you the details via email, please send it back in 48 hours, buhbye now", she hangs up.
"48 hours?? Right, this should be easy then, probably some online leetcoding platform, as usual.", thought the naive interviewee, who evidently went through this sh*t numerous times already.
A day later I receive the email: this was the whole deal. The take-home test supreme with bacon and cheese. A full-blown project, with tests, a project structure, a docker image, testing and bullet points for bonus points! The assessment was poorly written with lots of typos and overall ambiguity, a few datasets were also provided but bloated with inconsistent comments and trailing whitespace.
What the actual fck??? Am I supposed to sleep deprive myself to death while also working my day job? What are you trying to assess? How much of my life I'm willing to sacrifice for your stupid useless coding challenge? You are not all Google, have some respect, jeez.
I did not get the job.2
What the sh*t is this kind of response?! One of my corporate department's internal API returns THIS.
LOOK AT IT. LOOK. "NULL". What are those malformed closing / ending brackets?!
(request headers have accept: application/json btw)
And, as a final "f*uck you", the "IPG_API_JOBD_NC_RESP_P_COLL" is returned as JSON object if response has one element to return, but will be JSON ARRAY if result has more than one element.
Good luck, you there with strongly typed languages..... Boils my blood 😅4
Guess who just spent the entire day before launch debugging why compose doesn't work on an ec2 instance where I DIDN"T INSTALL FUCKING DOCKER
I guess this is the key difference between me and seniors. Seniors know where to look where shit breaks because they have been breaking it for at least 5 years.7
Steve Jobs talking about gigabit internet, cloud and SaSS in ‘97
watching old Jobs videos from 90s when Steve was at Next and just after back to Apple with great ideas and fresh mind, damn he saw that all in 90s
Next time you meet someone who thinks they’re a genius, even if that person is staring back at you from the mirror, remember this kid’s story. Too bad he died so young. He could have helped humanity with his ideas about better water usage. https://news.join1440.com/t/...3
For the longest time, someone who used the buy&hold strategy in my weight stock would have made a nice profit. It always got up.
For the first time since my teens, I'm changing my recommendation to "short it down" :)
The plan is working :)
Update on https://devrant.com/rants/5948278/...
Self-isolation takes its toll on people's lives and, naturally, on interviews for our platform . So, a technical interview with a DevOps engineer at Zoom. The candidate started to surprise us already in the first minutes of the meeting. To begin with he apparently decided that the formality was enough at the first stage of the interview and decided to talk to the technical experts in a T-shirt and lying on the couch. That would have been fine, but in the middle of the interview his caring wife came in and insisted that the husband should eat his sandwiches and drink his tea. The candidate tried to remain unperturbed and undistracted, but his short "no", "don't want to", "come on!" didn't take effect. At one point, the applicant's wife escalated the tone of the conversation and threw a sandwich at him, promising to do the same with the tea. The supervisor and I became worried about the candidate and already in the voice of his wife began to persuade him to take a break for an afternoon snack. And such stressful interviews happen, and not at the company's initiative.7
* break it into elementary steps, small enough to fit into your "estimation time unit", e.g. days or hours.
* estimate those steps for "developing at a leisurely pace" if nothing goes wrong.
* think about "what could go wrong" (list everything!) and adjust values accordingly.
* adjust total amount with experience values, like:
* times 1.2 for every manager
* times 1 to 4 based on which legacy projects i have to touch
* multiply with `1+log(t/u,2)`, with `u` being the amount of useful data in the requirement description and `t` being the total amount of data in the requirement description
* sample: with our current "favourite" customer, about 90% of all tickets is garbage, so t/u = 100/10 = 10 => log(10,2) = 3.3 => multiply everything with 4.31
#Suphle Rant 4: Laravel closing the gap II
I had expected rant 4 to come at least, some days later. Apparently, I'd miscalculated how fast things work in this wonderful world of software. In an earlier rant, I wrote about how dismayed I was to learn laravel had implemented one suphle feature I'm very proud about. They call it Premonition. Idk if it's officially rolled out yet but you can do a search among accepted pull requests for what it's all about
Well, today, I've just seen a draft from one of their maintainers showing one of the things suphle was designed to do: https://twitter.com/enunomaduro/.... They can't integrate it with this pattern since php doesn't have generics, so it'll either get trashed or with plastered as some band aid. In suphle docs, I explicitly indicated the data structure/typing for that feature is a polyfill for the absence of generics
I think I can get away with it because of where I'm using it (model authorization instead of custom exceptions/throwable operations, in general, like theirs)
I don't feel as distraught as I did on finding the Premonition thingy. Am I impressed with these things dawning on them? Ffs Laravel was invented in 2011. It's incredulous to think it gave me hell for years. Waited ~2 years for me to fix all issues in a brand new framework, only to magically gain iq points and start improving their work
It's weird and brutal. If they keep figuring stuff out, it may not be long before there are no features unique to suphle. Then, my worst nightmares will come to life. I will argue there's one thing nobody will ever copy, not without rethinking the mvc architecture in its entirety.2