So I got the job. Here's a story, never let anyone stop you from accomplishing your dreams!

It all started in 2010. Windows just crashed unrecoverably for the 3rd time in two years. Back then I wasn't good with computers yet so we got our tech guy to look at it and he said: "either pay for a windows license again (we nearly spend 1K on licenses already) or try another operating system which is free: Ubuntu. If you don't like it anyways, we can always switch back to Windows!"

Oh well, fair enough, not much to lose, right! So we went with Ubuntu. Within about 2 hours I could find everything. From the software installer to OpenOffice, browsers, email things and so on. Also I already got the basics of the Linux terminal (bash in this case) like ls, cd, mkdir and a few more.

My parents found it very easy to work with as well so we decided to stick with it.

I already started to experiment with some html/css code because the thought of being able to write my own websites was awesome! Within about a week or so I figured out a simple html site.

Then I started to experiment more and more.

After about a year of trial and error (repeat about 1000+ times) I finally got my first Apache server setup on a VirtualBox running Ubuntu server. Damn, it felt awesome to see my own shit working!

From that moment on I continued to try everything I could with Linux because I found the principle that I basically could do everything I wanted (possible with software solutions) without any limitations (like with Windows/Mac) very fucking awesome. I owned the fucking system.

Then, after some years, I got my first shared hosting plan! It was awesome to see my own (with subdomain) website online, functioning very well!

I started to learn stuff like FTP, SSH and so on.

Went on with trial and error for a while and then the thought occured to me: what if I'd have a little server ONLINE which I could use myself to experiment around?

First rented VPS was there! Couldn't get enough of it and kept experimenting with server thingies, linux in general aaand so on.

Started learning about rsa key based login, firewalls (iptables), brute force prevention (fail2ban), vhosts (apache2 still), SSL (damn this was an interesting one, how the fuck do you do this yourself?!), PHP and many other things.

Then, after a while, the thought came to mind: what if I'd have a dedicated server!?!?!?!

I ordered my first fucking dedicated server. Damn, this was awesome! Already knew some stuff about defending myself from brute force bots and so on so it went pretty well.

Finally made the jump to NginX and CentOS!

Made multiple VPS's for shitloads of purposes and just to learn. Started working with reverse proxies (nginx), proxy servers, SSL for everything (because fuck basic http WITHOUT SSL), vhosts and so on.

Started with simple, one screen linux setup with ubuntu 10.04.

Running a five monitor setup now with many distro's, running about 20 servers with proxies/nginx/apache2/multiple db engines, as much security as I can integrate and this fucking passion just got me my first Linux job!

It's not just an operating system for me, it's a way of life. And with that I don't just mean the operating system, but also the idea behind it :).

This was at a hackathon which my study organises yearly. It's a 24 hours challenge and you've got to work in teams. It's always from 12 (noon) to 12 (noon the other day).

Another group of programmers was pulling their hair out because of their code not working, it kept crashing and they didn't see it after more than an hour (half of the team had difficulties with keeping their eyes open and it was about 3-4am so we were already programming nearly non stop for about 15-16 hours).

Walked by and offered to take a look:
"YES PLEASE FUCKING HELP"

Took a look and about two seconds later:
"oh you're missing a hashtag there *points*"

All programmers at once: MOTHERFUCKER! (or in Dutch: GODVERDOMME!) (motherfucker contextualizes the situation better imo)

I think I made their entire hackathon at that moment 😊

[Client]
We've noticed we gave you the wrong product prices for our new online shop.

[Dev]
Yeah, just login to the backend and fix them.

[Client]
But we don't want to use your fancy backend, we'll be using anyway soon - we want EXCEL!
Could you send us an EXCEL, so we can fix that?
How much will this cost?

[Dev]
Sure... here you are.
Not that much, takes about an hour.

[Client]
Great, you'll hear from us in a few days.

(a few months later...)

[Client]
We've finally managed to update the EXCEL. And btw, we've also added a bunch of columns with product pictures and new properties, highlighted products to delete red, inserted some comments with manual instructions and basically destroyed the entire data structure of this table.

Before I forget... also make sure to get this finished today, we have to go live ASAP. Our marketing campaign is already live.

[Dev]
Well, I'm sorry to say this, but this is not possible.
I'm currently working on another project and it will take me hours to clean up the data you sent me, before even starting to build an import tool for the new data you provided. Better stop the campaign and I'll do my best to get this done by the end of the week. Also it may be a bit costly.

(angry client calls immediately...)

(dev transfers to manager...)

(client transfers to client's boss...)

[Manager]
Ok Dev, I think I was able to explain it to them. However, it would be great if you spend day and night to get this thing out ASAP.

[Dev]
No problem...
I'll just do it by hand to get this out immediately.

(few days later; nearly done, exhausted)

[Client]
Hey Dev, here's another EXCEL.
We've just noticed there were a bunch of errors in the previous one. Please use this instead...

"Personalized Advertisements":

No Amazon, I'm not interested in buying any of these phones, I just bought a new one five days ago, remember? You sold it to me! And stop recommending the same book I already got five YEARS ago!

YouTube, why are you always showing me the same ad about an app I already own and use regularly? And why the FUCK do I you show me the new trailer of Star Wars Ep8 as an ad video before the actual video of the new Star Wars Ep8 trailer?

Audi, I am an university student, barely able to pay my rent, why are you telling me to buy your newest car? How do you expect me to afford this?

Monster, why exactly are you showing me job offers as "Technical Product Designer at company X" for which I'm not remotely qualified or even interested in?

Neither do I have 5000£ (I live in Germany, at least match the currency, ffs) to invest in some suspiciously promising stock market schemes, nor am I in any need of rheumatism pills or a hearing aid (I am 19). I cannot afford or want any Rolex watches and PLEASE, I don't know why you think I would, but I really do not need a special new and innovative brand of tampons, my dick is doing fine, thanks.

"Hot local singles near {my actual location} want to fuck!
Click here!!!"
At least there are still some ads you can trust to be relevant...

Lamer rant

For a really long time I said to myself that this is too basic to rant about but lately it became so frequent and extreme that here is my rant about completely clueless users that ask me IT related questions.

Disclaimer: Said users are people that I generally can't avoid. Distant family members, neighbors and etc.

Case 0:
U: I don't know what's happening!! The computer doesn't work!!
M: What do you mean?
U: There's no Facebook! And everything is stuck and no messenger!!!
M: The WiFi on your laptop was off. I turned it on. Still, this doesn't mean that the pc wasn't working.
U: I don't understand this shit!!!

Case 1:
U: I hate this computer!!! It never works!!! Help meeee!!!
M: What now?
U: Where did the internet disappear?!
M: (assuming it's wifi or browser related)
Actually user moved the Chrome window to bottom-right corner and lost it.

Every time I try to show the user how I resolve the issue the user yells that there are too many steps, that they are complicated and that I'm a bad teacher and doing it too fast.

Case 2:
U: My computer is so slow! It barely can load google translate! And I can't listen to music on youtube!! Shitty laptop! It's you! Your computers in the apartment drain everything!!!
M: You have no idea what you are talking about.
U: My husband told me that your computers are heavy and drain everything!
M: What exactly did he tell you that my devices drain?
U: I don't know! All the energy! I believe him! He knows!
M: My computers drain less electricity than your vacuum and I have a separate internet connection. Not only we share nothing but also I drain nothing.
U: Since you appeared all the computers are slow!!!!

Fkk...

Case 3:
U: I don't understand, where is my whatsapp?
M: You can't locate the app on your phone?
U: Yes! F*ck, help me! I'm so angry and I really need this NOW!!!
M: Shut up. I'm already here and helping.
(I open users phone and whatsapp is the active app...)
U: I can' t find my whatsapp with Clara!

F*ck you! F*ck you! Ghckjfshij!!!

Case 4:
(crazy hitting on my door)
U: I don't have THE internet!!!
It's you again! You took all of THE internet!!!
M: No, it doesn't work like that. Your provider is bad, your package is cheap and your cables are of low quality.
U: I need THE internet immediately!!! Stop playing with your typing and fix the facebook or I'll cut the power cables to the house!!

I can go on, just don't think that recalling all those events is healthy for me.

Just sharing my experience of my spontaneous interview with Facebook. I'm not good at writing these but here you go :)

- I was working as an Android dev and didn't have much knowledge in algorithms nor competitive programming, never ever interviewed with big companies.
- a random day on LinkedIn, a recruiter from Facebook contacted me
- I ignored it for few week because I thought it's so out of my league, then somehow, out of blue, I had a thought of giving it a try, so I did
- passed first round
- start studying algorithms a little for phone interview in 3 weeks
- recklessly took the phone interview
- passed
- start studying intensively (while working fulltime) for the on-site interview in 2 months
- almost got the job, they gave me one more chance by a followed up interview
- messed up the last chance real bad
- failed!!!
- Initially I just wanted to give it a try, but the fact that I failed at very very last chance, frankly, bothers me a bit. Maybe I will interview with FB or big companies if I have chance later, but I know for sure that the studying had made me a much better dev. All the code I write now is much more efficient (I think), I can and not anymore afraid of reading complicated code.
- Overall, it does takes a lot of time (~4 months studying while working fulltime), but also benefits myself a lot though I didn't get the job, so basically, good experience, but better if I got the job 😁

Oops, wanted to write a few lines and it's a long post already.. I should stop here :D

I once had a manager who would, at every stand up, ask everyone if there was a better way to solve their problem. She did this even if the team had already decided on a solution or even if there was no problem at all. She wouldn't let us continue the stand up until we had proposed a new 'solution' that was close to her 'suggestions'.

Some of my favorite suggestions were: "Are you doing everything you can to not make it too 'spiffy' ?". If you said yes the follow up was always: "can you tell me how?"

Then when you said you hit a bit of a bump yesterday due to something unexpected she always demanded that you pair programmed today. Now I don't have anything against pair programming, I even think it's useful from time to time, but being forced to sit next to someone or have someone sit next to me every time someone encountered something unexpected annoyed the shit out of me. Needless to say no one had any problems to speak of during stand ups after a while.

Whenever I was sparring with one of my colleagues she would always join in and start proposing 'solutions' about technical problems she didn't even understand. Again, she wouldn't back down until we had accepted her 'solution'. We would then go to a different room and hope she wouldn't find us there.

This went on for months, until several people had disagreed with her so much that it ended in shouting matches.

It still makes me angry when I think of one person crippling a team that much. I took my issues to her, to HR and finally to the CEO directly, but no one did anything about it.

Finally one of my colleagues decided to quit. After he handed in his two weeks notice our manager came to me and asked if she could talk to me in private.

She told me that she didn't understand why our colleague quit and she thought everything was going great. This was after just about everyone had told her that they hated how she acted and that if she wouldn't stop they'd quit. I had told her that myself twice.

She then proceeded to tell me that I was the most valuable employee and that the company couldn't go on without me. As a gesture of their appreciation for my invaluable effort, she was so generous to offer a salary increase of 50 euro, before taxes.

I laughed, said no and handed in my two week notice the next morning.

I vowed never to work with fucktards again, and I haven't since.

Stop it with the Linux shilling already.

I'm 27 years old and I love Linux and git and vim just as much as the next guy (yeah fuck you emacs!). I have discovered this place as a room for discussion, advise, humor and rants of course, and I had my good share of giggles.

But lately it seems that every other Post is "look at me I installed Linux" or "hurr durr he doesn't use git" or "windows omfg kill it with fire". And to some degree, those rants have a good point and are absolutely right. However, most of them are not.

This is why you're part of the problem. Constantly shaming and ridiculing any technology that's not hip in nerd culture, regardless of the circumstances. This makes you look just as bad as the peoples you look down upon for writing their code in notepad++ on windows xp with McAfee installed. Even worse, from a professional point of view, it absolutely voids your credibility.

How am I to take you seriously and presume a fair amount of experience and out of the box thinking if all you do is repeat catchphrases and ride the fucking hype train. And yes, I know there are a lot of minors or peoples who are just getting started in the industry. But I have seen enough self-righteous hateful spews from peoples who claim not to be.

Anyway, this is getting long and I think I have made my point. Maybe I am just too old to be joking around that shit all the time anymore. But from what I have seen, I wouldn't hire the biggest part of you. Not because you are bad at what you're doing, but because what you say makes you look absolutely unprofessional.

But then again, this is devrant and I love you all. Have a great week everyone!

How to start coding (for fucktards)

1: Choose desired programming language like python or java

2: Search on youtube or google: "<language> tutorial beginner"

3: if step 2 was to hard for you...
STOP learning how to program, you are hopeless

4: Instead of asking everyone on how to learn programming, just fucking DO IT already!

Seriously, if you don't even know how to use google and youtube to educate yourself programming is NOT FOR YOU!

So. My grandma (280 km away) gave me a call.
Grandma: "Hiii. I have a problem with my PC."
Me thinking "ok. Just an ordinary tech support call from granny..."
Me: "Ok. What's the issue?"
Grandma: "Windows tells me there is no space left on drive F, non-stop"
Me: "As far as I know there is no drive F on your PC"
Grandma: "Would you be so kind to have a look?"

I agreed to log on via team viewer.

To cut an already long story short, there was this April Update which sent a bug all around the globe.

This bug exposed an internal drive Windows uses to do its Windows stuff - whatever it is.

Regularly these kind of drives are hidden from users eyes...

I finally solved it by applying a rollback on Windows.
The update is gone and with the next update there will be a fix from May to hide this drives again.

Microsoft!
I do you scare grandparents all around the globe?!??

RANT Incoming
Not necessarily dev related but I need to get this off my chest.

So a bit of a backstory. I had to stay late from school the other day and ended up having to take an Uber home. The ride was fine lady was nice. Everything seems to be going well and there were no signs of any payment failure.

Then yesterday, I had to stay late again. I never said that I had an outstanding balance on my account. Apparently Uber was having problems charging my Android pay account.
So I ended up being stuck at school for like 3 hours. Great!😑

So I emailed Uber when I got home. And this is when I started pulling my hair out. I don't know how many replies I had, but each time I had to tell them that I was not using a prepaid card.

This was one of my replies:
"I'm sorry, are you real? If you are, here is a quick summary of the issue. I am using ANDROID PAY with my CHASE DEBIT CARD. Not, NOT, NOT a prepaid card. I happen to know that CHASE DEBIT CARD(which is the card I use, in case you have already forgotten) works with uber because MY FATHER USES THE EXACT SAME TYPE OF CARD with uber. He uses a CHASE DEBIT CARD(again I use that same type of card as well). So by using LOGIC I am able to deduce that a CHASE DEBIT CARD is in fact compatible. AGAIN THIS IS NOT A PREPAID CARD!!! If the card is incompatible, WHY DOES THE APP ALLOW BE TO ADD IT?!?! Also in response to your last email... Because I am using Android pay, do you really think that an ANDROID would be able to use APPLE pay? Also Google wallet is DISCONTINUED! Finally, PayPal DOES NOT CONNECT TO UBER. Returns a "Server Error." So please stop wasting my time with generic help solutions. Believe me, I have already googled my issue, and nothing comes up. That is why I contacted Uber. I want my driver to be paid, and, uber had made it SO painful with unhelpful "Solutions" to problems that don't even APPLY TO MY ISSUE. No not even mention PREPAID cards in your reply or I will consider you a robot built by monkeys banging their heads on a keyboard. Uber HAS my VALID payment information, USE IT! If there is a phone number I can call, please, enlighten me"

And the response was:
"Thanks for reaching out with this.

Happy to help with this issue you are having.

After reviewing your I can see that the only payment method associated with your account is an ANDROID PAY card and it is also a prepaid card. Some cards and methods are not compatible with our billing processes and can't be used with Uber. This includes prepaid cards."

So I concluded that they are monkeys.

Then Uber banned me from logging into my account because I didn't pay.
So now it is impossible for me to pay because I can't do anything with my account.

Now they want my SSN and a bunch of other shit that I won't give them.

I told them that they were being illogical, and I got the exact same response about the prepaid bullshit.

So I sent them this photo as a goodbye.

I get my driver's licence next weekend, so I won't need Uber anymore. YAY!

Also mind grammatical errors, I talked it in and am to lazy to proofread

An intern I was supposed to lead (as an intern) and work with. Which sounded kinda crazy to me, but also fun so I rolled with it. But when I met her I quickly found out she didn't even have a coding editor installed and when I advised one she was "scared of virusses". She had Microsoft Edge in her toolbar, and some picture of a cat as a background. We were given some project by our boss, and a freelance programmer helped us set it up on Trello. Great, lets start! Oke maybe first some R&D, she had to reaeach how to use the Twilio API. After catching her on WhatsApp a few times I realised this wasnt gonna go anywere. After a few weeks of coding and posting a initial project to git I asked her if she could show me the code of the API she made so far..

She told me she was using the quickstart guide (the last 3 FUCKING weeks) which contained some test project with specific use cases.

The one that I did 3 weeks ago that same fucking morning.

AND SHE WAS STILL NOT DONE...

A few days later I asked her about the progress (strangly, I wasn't allowed ti give her another task bcs the freelanc already did) and guess what... She got fking pissed at me

Her: "I will come to you when im done, ok?"
Me: "I just want to see how it is going so far and if you are running into any problems!"
Her: "I dont want to show you right now"

She then goes to my fucking boss to tell him I am bothering her.

And omg... Please dear god please kill me now...

Instead of him saying the she probably didn't do shit. He says to me that the girl thinks im looking down on her and she needs a stress free environment to work in. She will show me when its done. ITS A FUCKING QUICKSTART GUIDE YOU DUMB BITCH.

He then procceeded to whine to me about the email template (another project I do at the same time) which didn't look perfect in all of his clients.

Dont they understand that I am not a frontend developer? Can you stop please? I know nothing about email templates, I told you this!!!

Really... the whole fucking internship the only thing the girl did was ask people if they want more tea. Then she starts cleaning the windows, talk to people for an hour, or clean everyone's dask.

all this while I already made 50% of the fucking product and she just finished the quickstart tutorial 😭. Truly 2 months wasted, and the worse thing is I didn't get any apprication. They constantly blamed me and whined at me. Sometimes for being 3 minutes late, the other for smoking too much, or because I drink to much coffee, or that I dont eat healthy. They even forced me to play Ping Pong. While im just trying to do my job. One of the worst things they got mad at me for if when my laptop got hacked bcs it was infected with some virus. He had remote access and bought 5 iPhones 6's with my paypal while I was on break. I had to go home and quickly reset all my passwords and make sure the iPhones wouldnt get delivered. strange this was, this laptop I only used at the company. So it must have been software I had to download there. Probably phpstorm (torrent). Bcs nobody would give me a license. And the freelancer said I * have to *.

the monday after I still had to reinstall windows so I called them and said I would be late. when I came they were so disrepectfull and didn't understand anything. It went a little like this:

Boss: why u late?
Me: had to reinstall my laptop, sorry.
Boss: why didnt you do this in your own time?
Me: well, I didn't have any time.
Boss: cant you do this in the weekend or something? Because now we have to pay you several hours bcs you downloaded something at home.

Me: I am only using this laptop for work so thats not possible.

Boss: how can that even be possible? You are not doing anything at home with your laptop? Is that why you never do anything at home?

Me: uhm, I have desktop computer you know. Its much faster. And I also need to rest sometimes. Areeb (freelancer) told me to torrent the software. He gave me the link. 2 days later this happends

Boss: Ahh okeee I see.. Well dont let it happen again.

After that nobody at the compamy trusted me with anything computer related. Yes it was my own fault I downloaded a virus but it can happen to anyone. After that I never used Windows again btw, also no more auto login apps.

TL;DR: The bitch ruined my Friday.

I was in a really happy mood when I arrived at office in the morning today, because Friday.

I was assigned a stupid production error to test. Being a proactive person, I completed the task only to get more on my plate.

Why? Because fuck me that's why!!! All of my main task was aside throughout the day which has been pending since ages. The loser I work for, never allocates time for my main task and end of the day, yells at me that my task is pending.

Fuck the cock sucker because he is sucks at work delegation.

So, when the next stupid task was allocated, after analysing the entire scene, I realised this is something which I have never worked on and have absolutely no clue about. Rather this should be assigned to that team member who has already worked on it, because they'll be able to complete it efficiently.

But this bitch, forced me to do the task and the said team member roamed around having gala time. This pissed the shit out of me.

Anyway, I tried to take up the challenge and asked for some help from the said bitch, who denied completely, asking me to refer the documentation which was written like shit of a rat.

I somehow managed to make my way through it but ended up failing countless time.

I seek the bitch again for some help. This time I made it clear that I am unable to complete the task and I am finding it difficult without any help.

The dick sucker guides me half way, asks hundreds of demoralising questions, making me question my self esteem and confidence.

I keep my calm but that asshole keeps demeaning my actions and now I loose shit.

I start behaving rudely and back answering slowly. The dumb bitch doesn't get the hint (we talk over chat as she is in another location).

I told myself to stop working until she helps me and called the day off. She never cared to revert and now the task is pending which will be discussed again on Monday.

She refused to listen at any cost. And that's where I realised that Narcissistic Dogmatic Hypocrites are worst people to work for.

Just wish me luck that I don't break her jaw and finish the task without creating a scene.

Such people should be fucked by a wild boar in their ass and be made to suck a donkey's dick.

Ruined my Friday.

Can we stop the undifferentiated EU bashing already?
Yes, the copyright law changes suck, we get it.
But: The EU itself is not a bad thing. Millions of people profit from it by having a common currency, freedom of choice where to travel to, where they want to work without needing a visa, and many, many more things.
Appreciate that.
Thanks for your time, have a nice day.

My words to live by...

Another one got caught today, it's all over the papers. "Teenager
Arrested in Computer Crime Scandal", "Hacker Arrested after Bank Tampering"...
Damn kids. They're all alike.

But did you, in your three-piece psychology and 1950's technobrain,
ever take a look behind the eyes of the hacker? Did you ever wonder what
made him tick, what forces shaped him, what may have molded him?
I am a hacker, enter my world...
Mine is a world that begins with school... I'm smarter than most of
the other kids, this crap they teach us bores me...
Damn underachiever. They're all alike.

I'm in junior high or high school. I've listened to teachers explain
for the fifteenth time how to reduce a fraction. I understand it. "No, Ms.
Smith, I didn't show my work. I did it in my head..."
Damn kid. Probably copied it. They're all alike.

I made a discovery today. I found a computer. Wait a second, this is
cool. It does what I want it to. If it makes a mistake, it's because I
screwed it up. Not because it doesn't like me...
Or feels threatened by me...
Or thinks I'm a smart ass...
Or doesn't like teaching and shouldn't be here...
Damn kid. All he does is play games. They're all alike.

And then it happened... a door opened to a world... rushing through
the phone line like heroin through an addict's veins, an electronic pulse is
sent out, a refuge from the day-to-day incompetencies is sought... a board is
found.
"This is it... this is where I belong..."
I know everyone here... even if I've never met them, never talked to
them, may never hear from them again... I know you all...
Damn kid. Tying up the phone line again. They're all alike...

You bet your ass we're all alike... we've been spoon-fed baby food at
school when we hungered for steak... the bits of meat that you did let slip
through were pre-chewed and tasteless. We've been dominated by sadists, or
ignored by the apathetic. The few that had something to teach found us will-
ing pupils, but those few are like drops of water in the desert.

This is our world now... the world of the electron and the switch, the
beauty of the baud. We make use of a service already existing without paying
for what could be dirt-cheap if it wasn't run by profiteering gluttons, and
you call us criminals. We explore... and you call us criminals. We seek
after knowledge... and you call us criminals. We exist without skin color,
without nationality, without religious bias... and you call us criminals.
You build atomic bombs, you wage wars, you murder, cheat, and lie to us
and try to make us believe it's for our own good, yet we're the criminals.

Yes, I am a criminal. My crime is that of curiosity. My crime is
that of judging people by what they say and think, not what they look like.
My crime is that of outsmarting you, something that you will never forgive me
for.

I am a hacker, and this is my manifesto. You may stop this individual,
but you can't stop us all... after all, we're all alike.

+++The Mentor+++

Imagine yourself exploring Medium, looking for some new awesome tools to try out.

You accidentally find the new, promising programming language. It called Blow. It promises itself to be “idiomatic”, “minimalistic”, “simple” and “handsome”. And it also compiles to Electron. You decide to give it a try.

It has its own package manager, simple and idiomatic – every package is “blow add” away. But it’s only three packages available: the “blowsay”, just like “cowsay”, the “this”, printing The Blow Manifesto and “blue”, which is simplistic, simple and minimalistic idiomatic handsome functional frontend framework built with simplicity in mind.

You want to build a todo app, so you type “blow add blue” and press enter.

Following Medium articles written by some guy wearing Ray-Bans, you managed to finally put a todo app together, after seven hours of straight up coding and fighting that simple and idiomatic syntax, trying to make it do what you need. Alright, it’s time to build it.

It has built-in task runner named “job”.

So you type “blow job todo”.

You spending three hours more doing “blow job this”, “blow job that”, trying to blow job everything you see. You’re tired and mad at those damn blow job hipsters created that. You literally suck at programming in that.

Everything falls apart. Things doesn’t work. And after another “ENOENT 0() 0x628 NOT_SUPPORTED”, you give up, admitting that you’ve really sucked at this.

I'm trying to sign up for insurance benefits at work.

Step 1: Trying to find the website link -- it's non-existent. I don't know where I found it, but I saved it in keepassxc so I wouldn't have to search again. Time wasted: 30 minutes.

Step 2: Trying to log in. Ostensibly, this uses my work account. It does not. Time wasted: 10 minutes.

Step 3: Creating an account. Username and Password requirements are stupid, and the page doesn't show all of them. The username must be /[A-Za-z0-9]{8,60}/. The maximum password length is VARCHAR(20), and must include upper/lower case, number, special symbol, etc. and cannot include "password", repeated charcters, your username, etc. There is also a (required!) hint with /[A-Za-z0-9 ]{8,60}/ validation. Want to type a sentence? better not use any punctuation!

I find it hilarious that both my username and password hint can be three times longer than my actual password -- and can contain the password. Such brilliant security.

My typical username is less than 8 characters. All of my typical password formats are >25 characters. Trying to figure out memorable credentials and figuring out the hidden complexity/validation requirements for all of these and the hint... Time wasted: 30 minutes.

Step 4: Post-login. The website, post-login, does not work in firefox. I assumed it was one of my many ad/tracker/header/etc. blockers, and systematically disabled every one of them. After enabling ad and tracker networks, more and more of the site loaded, but it always failed. After disabling bloody everything, the site still refused to work. Why? It was fetching deeply-nested markup, plus styling and javascript, encoded in xml, via api. And that xml wasn't valid xml (missing root element). The failure wasn't due to blocking a vitally-important ad or tracker (as apparently they're all vital and the site chain-loads them off one another before loading content), it's due to shoddy development and lack of testing. Matches the rest of the site perfectly. Anyway, I eventually managed to get the site to load in Safari, of all browsers, on a different computer. Time wasted: 40 minutes.

Step 5: Contact info. After getting the site to work, I clicked the [Enroll] button. "Please allow about 10 minutes to enroll," it says. I'm up to an hour and 50 minutes by now. The first thing it asks for is contact info, such as email, phone, address, etc. It gives me a warning next to phone, saying I'm not set up for notifications yet. I think that's great. I select "change" next to the email, and try to give it my work email. There are two "preferred" radio buttons, one next to "Work email," one next to "Personal email" -- but there is only one textbox. Fine, I select the "Work" preferred button, sign up for a faux-personal tutanota email for work, and type it in. The site complains that I selected "Work" but only entered a personal email. Seriously serious. Out of curiosity, I select the "change" next to the phone number, and see that it gives me four options (home, work, cell, personal?), but only one set of inputs -- next to personal. Yep. That's amazing. Time spent: 10 minutes.

Step 6: Ranting. I started going through the benefits, realized it would take an hour+ to add dependents, research the various options, pick which benefits I want, etc. I'm already up to two hours by now, so instead I decided to stop and rant about how ridiculous this entire thing is. While typing this up, the site (unsurprisingly) automatically logged me out. Fine, I'll just log in again... and get an error saying my credentials are invalid. Okay... I very carefully type them in again. error: invalid credentials. sajfkasdjf.

Step 7 is going to be: Try to figure out how to log in again. Ugh.

"Please allow about 10 minutes" it said. Where's that facepalm emoji?

But like, seriously. How does someone even build a website THIS bad?

Don't be ridiculous and say Mac's are good for gaming 😣, they aren't.

Their graphics are terrible CPUs are shocking ram ... Average the fact they have fast ssds is great

But that's it. For their price points it's not worth it end of story

I used to say Mac's are worth getting if your a designer or video editor...

I have now changed my position due to the shittyness of their latest products

I'm not really much of a gamer anymore to busy 😓 but I can read specs.

People won't build games for Mac's especially now it will lower the quality of their product. I actually don't even see a point of having a Mac in today's world.

Apple are meant to push boundaries ... They are doing it all wrong now 😐

Accept it... And get a PC 5 times faster then their apple counterparts

I do fucking hate apple but I respected them in the past, if nothing but their clever marketing getting sheep to buy their products . Now I just don't respect them, they could at least try to build something remotely worth the money

aslkfjasf. i've spent 12 hours today (and lots more over the past two days) trying to reproduce a bug that my [sort of] coworker insists is present. I haven't seen any proof of it anywhere, let alone steps to reproduce it.

I've poured through the code, following all of its tangled noodles of madness from start to fuck-this-shit. I've read and reread the pile of demon excrement so many times i can still read the code when i close my eyes. so. not. kidding.

anyway, the coworker person is getting mad because i haven't fixed the bug after days, and haven't even reproduced it yet. This feature is already taking way too fucking long so I totally don't blame him. but urghh it's like trying to unwind a string someone tied into a tight little ball of knots because they were bored.

but i just figured out why I haven't been able to reproduce it.

the stupid fucking unreliable dipshit ex-"i'm a rockstar and my code rocks"-CTO buffoon (aka API Guy, aka the `a=b if a!=b`loody pointless waste of mixed spaces and tabs) that wrote the original APIs ... 'kay, i need to stop for breath.

The dumbfuck wrote the APIs (which I based the new ones on mostly wholesale because wtf messy?), but he never implemented a very fucking important feature for a specific merchant type. It works for literally every type except the (soon-to-be) most common one. and it just so happens that i need that very specific feature to reproduce this bug.

Why is that one specific merchant type handled so differently? No fucking idea.

But exactly how they're handled differently is why I'm so fking pissed off. It's his error checking. (Some) of his functions return different object types (hash, database object, string, nullable bool, ...) depending on what happened. like, when creating a new gift, it (eventually...) either returns a new Gift object or a string error basically saying "ahhh everything's broken again!" -- which is never displayed, compared against, or recorded anywhere, ofc. Here, the API expects a Hash. That particular function call *always* returns a Hash, no matter what happens in the myriad, twisting, and interwoven branches the code could take. So the check is completely pointless.

EXCEPT. if an object associated with another object associated with the passed object (yep) has a type of 8. in which case, one of the methods in the chain returns a PrintQueue that gets passed back up the call stack. implicitly, and nested three levels in. ofc.

And if the API doesn't get its precious Hash, it exclaims that the merchant itself is broken, and tells the user to contact support. despite, you know, the PrintQueue showing that everything worked perfectly. In fact, that merchant's printer will be happily printing away in the background.

All because type checking is this guy's preferred method of detecting errors. (Raise? what's that? OOP? Nah, let's do diverging splintered-monolithic with some Ruby objects thrown in.)

just.
what the crap.

people should keep their mental diarrhea away from their keyboards.

Anyway. the summary of this long-winded, exhaustion-fueled tirade is that our second-most-loved feature doesn't work on our second-most-common merchant type.

and ofc that was the type of merchant i've been testing on. for days. while having both a [semi] coworker and my boss growing increasingly angry at me for my lack of progress.

It's also a huge feature, and the boss doesn't understand that. (can't or won't, idk)

So.
yep.
that's been my week.

...... WHAT A FUCKING BUFFOON!

Just spent 3 hours trying to debug something that worked yesterday because SOMEONE thought he had a better idea of how to do it. Holy fucking shit. It worked perfectly and you started deleting my code because you didn't understand it. How about trusting that I know what I'm doing since idk I spent 2 weeks reading up on it to be able to write this. What pisses me off the most is knowing he only does this to my code because he doesn't trust me as I am a) younger than him and b) a woman.

STOP ALREADY. JUST FUCKING STOP. So fucking fed up with having my work scrapped in favor of yours because you are a fucking control freak and think I'm stupid.

Two years ago I moved to Dublin with my wife (we met on tour while we were both working in music) as visa laws in the UK didn’t allow me to support the visa of a Russian national on a freelance artists salary.

After we came to Dublin I was playing a lot to pay rent (major rental crisis here), I play(ed) Double Bass which is a physically intensive instrument and through overworking caused a long term injury to my forearm which prevents me playing.

Luckily my wife was able to start working in Community Operations for the big tech companies here (not an amazing job and I want her to be able to stop).

Anyway, I was a bit stuck with what step to take next as my entire career had been driven by the passion to master an art that I was very committed to. It gave me joy and meaning.

I was working as hard as I could with a clear vision but no clear path available to get there, then by chance the opportunity came to study a Higher Diploma qualification in Data Science/Analysis (I have some experience handling music licensing for tech startups and an MA with components in music analysis, which I spun into a narrative). Seemed like a ‘smart’ thing to do to do pick up a ‘respectable’ qualification, if I can’t play any more.

The programme had a strong programming element and I really enjoyed that part. The heavy statistics/algebra element was difficult but as my Python programming improved, I was able to write and utilise codebase to streamline the work, and I started to pull ahead of the class. I put in more and more time to programming and studied personally far beyond the requirements of the programme (scored some of the highest academic grades I’ve ever achieved). I picked up a confident level of Bash, SQL, Cypher (Neo4j), proficiency with libraries like pandas, scikit-learn as well as R things like ggplot. I’m almost at the end of the course now and I’m currently lecturing evening classes at the university as a paid professional, teaching Graph Database theory and implementation of Neo4j using Python. I’m co-writing a thesis on Machine Learning in The Creative Process (with faculty members) to be published by the institute. My confidence in programming grew and grew and with that platform to lift me, I pulled away from the class further and further.

I felt lost for a while, but I’ve found my new passion. I feel the drive to master the craft, the desire to create, to refine and to explore.

I’m going to write a Thesis with a strong focus on programmatic implementation and then try and take a programming related position and build from there. I’m excited to become a professional in this field. It might take time and not be easy, but I’ve already mastered one craft in life to the highest levels of expertise (and tutored it for almost 10 years). I’m 30 now and no expert (yet), but am well beyond beginner. I know how to learn and self study effectively.

The future is exciting and I’ve discovered my new art! (I’m also performing live these days with ‘TidalCycles’! (Haskell pattern syntax for music performance).

Hey all! I’m new on devRant!

Jesus fucking Christ, I'm so fucking pissed right now. So it's my first job in IT, and I was so hyped about it, BUT IT'S SO SHIT, DUDE. I basically replaced the previous Java developer here, that was doing EVERY FUCKING THING. And now I'm being assigned to OVER 9000 TASKS AT ONCE THAT ARE MAJOR AND HAVE TO BE DONE ASAP, AND EVERYONE FUCKING TEXTS ME NON-STOP, LIKE -HAVE YOU ALREADY DONE IT MAN, IS IT DONE, WHEN WILL IT BE DONE, IT'S TAKING TOO LONG, WHAT THE FUCK

What follows isn't dev related and began as a comment on one of @AlexDeLarge's rants, and quicly became a full fleged story deserving it's own rant.

Oh God, drunk people are the worst and my gf is awesome.

I live with her in a street that never sleeps. Hardly anybody lives there, actually. That's just bars and night clubs, so during evening and at night, it's very crowded and noisy (luckily we have good noise insulation).
When we get back home late, there is always people standing in front of our door, looking at you like you just shat on their already puke and urine covered feet, just because you try to make them move to use your key.
Then I make sure my lady goes first, so I can check that nobody tries to go inside after me. The boys and girls standing there, watch us then, astonished, like you're some kind of homophobic gay or antisemitic jew, then ask, with a half smile and their eyes blank from any intelligence : "Isn't it hard living here?" (or, sometimes, "Hey dude, can I enter with you? Lol". Everytime I just refrain myself from answering "Yeah, the worst is people the like of you."
It happens exactly like this EVERY.FUCKING.TIME.

I'm not against getting drunk, I do myself sometimes (though that rarely on purpose). But please don't make me hate you for it.

One day we got back after a long party. My gf was merry and I was dead drunk because it bored me so I just drank glasses after another. I remember half of the night, and she told me the next day that I tried to buy a kebab with laundry and beer tickets (also a pants button), and really didn't see what was wrong in this. I can agree with drunk me here : you give a kebab, you get free beers and can go wash your clothes. Win-win!
Anyway, when we made it back to our front door, there was as usual people in front of it. Mainly manly man lesbians with some overweight problems. So she asks "Please could you move a little, we'd like to enter and my boyfriend here feels sick". A plain old 'no' was their answer. So from the top of my drunk wise, I declared "Go away or I'm puking over you, dumb bitches". They didn't like this. They began hitting us.
Everything is blurry from there, but I think some guys came to help them hit me, while they focused on my gf. I was mainly on the floor, taking hits after hits, waiting for them to stop because it was really annoying being punched in front of your door and pissed off that I was in no position to help her. Luckily for her, she can defend herself. The lesbians were just pulling her hair and scratching, so she gave them a few good hits in the belly and they let her go enough time to grab me in the middle of the boys (a friend of us helped her grab me as well, though he managed to stay out of the fight). When I took my key in my pockets, they stopped because they thought it was a Swiss knife (because my keys are arranged like one to take less space). I just went like "Guys, you dumb fucks, that's a key. A keeeeeey", before proceeding to put the wrong one in the lock and breaking it inside.
I don't know how, but the gf, with her long nails, managed to get it out in no time and used the right key afterwards. We were home and alive.
I was really proud of her that day, but also a bit ashamed to have just been a victim and a dead weight. To this day I never drink more than a beer or two during parties, in case I'd have to fight or run on the way back. Also, when she gets out to party with friends, she always phones me to fetch her when she's done, because there are cases of harassment and sometimes rape when a girl is alone late in these streets.

I really don't like a lot of people, but these braindead stupid fucktard make things really, really worse. One day there will be some bomb dropping from my window and these waste of carbon atoms and ethanol molecules won't understand anything that happens to them.

Dear sales team please stop promising the customer stuff that doesn't exist within the system and then promising them dates for getting said functionality without discussing it with the product team let alone the development team. Also repeating 'but I promised the customer they'd have it by august' will not make 6 months of development work fit into that time frame!

"Hi xxx, please stop asking me the same question. I've answered it 4 times already via email, slack and in person on our zoom calls, over the past 2 weeks. I do not own the ticket and have no idea of the status or the dates. Ask the owner."

- slack response I was forced to write this morning to the guy my company put in charge of the entire product (mobile, multiple backends, frontend etc.).

This is my most ridiculous meeting in my long career. The crazy thing is I have witnessed this scenario play out many times during my career. Sometimes it sits in waiting for a few years but then BOOM there it is again and again. In each case the person that fell into the insidious trap was smart and savvy but somehow it just happened. The outcomes were really embarrassing and in some cases career damaging. Other times, it was sort of humorous. I could see this happening to me and I never want it to happen to you.

Once upon a time in a land not so far away there was a Kickoff Meeting for an offsite work area recovery exercise being planned for our Oklahoma locations. Eleven Oklahoma high ranking senior executives were on this webinar plus three Enterprise IT Directors (Ellen, Jim and Bob) who would support the business from the systems side throughout the exercise.

The plan was for Sam Otto, our Midwest Director of Business Continuity to host this webinar. Sam had hands-on experience recovering to our third party recovery site vendor and he always did a great job. He motivated people to attend the exercise with the coolest breakfasts and lunches you could imagine. Donuts, bagels, pizza, wings, scrumptious salads, sandwiches, beverages and desserts. He was great with people and made it a lot of fun.

At the last minute Charles 'Don't Call Me Charlie' Ego-Smith, the Global Business Continuity Senior Vice President, decided to grand-stand Sam. He demanded the reins to the webinar. Pulled a last-minute power-play and made himself the host and presenter. You have probably seen the move at some point in your career. I guess the old saying, 'be careful what you wish for' has some truth to it - read on and let me know if you devRanters agree...

So, Charlie, I mean Charles, begins hosting the session and greets all of the attendees. Hey, good so far! He starts showing some slides in the PowerPoint presentation and he fields a few questions, comments and requests from the Oklahoma executives. The usual easy to handle requests such as, 'what if we are too busy to do recover all systems', 'what if we recover all of our processes from home', 'what if we have high profile visitors that month?' Hey you can't blame them for trying. You are probably thinking to yourself, 'been there - heard that!' But luckily our experienced team had anticipated the push-back. Fortunately, Senior Management 'had our backs' and committed that all processes and systems must participate and test - so these were just softball requests, 'easy-peasy' to handle. But wait, we are just getting started!

Now the fireworks begin. Bob, one if the Enterprise IT directors started asking a bunch of questions. Well, Charles had somewhat of a history with Bob from previous exercises and did not take kindly to Bob's string of questions. Charles started getting defensive and while Bob was speaking Charles started IM'ing. He's firing off one filthy message after another to me and our teammate Sam.

'This idiot Bob is the biggest pain in the ass that I ever worked with'; 'he doesn't know shit', 'he never shuts the f up', 'I wanna go over to his office and kick his f'in ass...!'

Unfortunately...the idiot Charles had control of the webinar and was sharing his screen so every message he sent was seen by all of the attendees! Yeah, everyone including Bob and the Senior Oklahoma executives! We could not instant message him to stop as everyone would have seen our warnings, so we tried to call Charles' cell phone and text him but he did not pick up. He just kept firing ridiculously embarrassing dirty IM messages and I guess we were all so stunned we just sat there bewildered. We finally bit the bullet and IM'ed him to STOP ALREADY!!! Whoa, talk about an embarrassing silence!

I really felt sorry for Bob. He is a good guy. Deservedly, Charlie 'Yes I am going to call you CHARLIE' got in big time hot water after the webinar with upper management. For one reason or another he only lasted another year or so at our company. Maybe this event played a part in his demise.

So, the morale is, if you use IM - turn it off during a webinar if you are the host. If you must use it, be really careful what you say, who you say it to and pray nothing embarrassing or personal is sent to you for everyone to see.

Quick Update - During the past couple of months I participated on many webinars with enterprise software vendors trying to sell me expensive solutions. Most of the vendors had their IM going while doing webinars and training. Some very embarrassing things came flying across our screens. You learn a lot reading those messages when they pop-up on the presenters' screen, both personal and business related. Some even complaints from customers!

My advice to employees and vendors is to sign-out of IM before hosting a webinar. Otherwise, it just might destroy your credibility and possibly your career.

CS graduates that have never gone beyond "Hello World", fuck college and it's "system".

So the actual victims of the story are friends of mine, CS colleagues, but I can't help but share as the existence of code freeloaders enfuriates me.

At college in order to graduate you need to present a project in form of a thesis a side from your actual thesis, there is a shortage of pre-approved projects and everyone wants one.

A talented friend of mine who has many years of programming experience got in one with another friend of mine and a lady who I've never seen before. One Saturday night my friend and I were having some beers at a local bar and his phone didn't stop beeping so I jokingly said:

"Bro, tell your girl you need some space", he laughed and explained it was the chick from her project having some "issues" with node.

"So? Tell her to google it, it's Saturday night", he explained the girl has never coded before even though she's about to graduate so she had take it upon herself to pressure him to finish ASAP so she can graduate and get an already agreed position at the federal energy commission... As dev!

I've seen my bud in a lot of dumb calls with said chick trying to explain how you CAN'T COMPILE THE NODE WEBSERVER TO A .EXE!

It frustrated me how such an idiot can go through a CS major buying homeworks and getting low self-esteem geeks to code for her. Then I realized that as an aspiring InfoSec guy, lazy idiots coding is good for business.

Man I really hate it when people think that coding doesn't take any concentration and can just interrupt you while you're thinking about how to solve problems

So the other day I was working on how to solve a problem with filtering data with JS, and I had to urgently update one of our pages on our website. I had to update that page according to the content of a Word file, which I didn't check how long it was.

About 15 minutes later everything was ready and published, so I set myself back to my problem.

I get an email from her, "you mixed up things" and she showed up in my office. "There are four pages in this word doc and you copied wrong parts", I was like "ok, I'll fix it". Fixed it two minutes later, went back to code.

Received another email, with another subject, again with another problem. Start getting pissed off for being interrupted for nonsense. Fixed it instantly and put my manager in the email loop so she is aware my other colleague pisses me off.

And again, another direct email "can you fix this?!". I started ignoring her requests because I need some work to be done, and I already lost 2 hours. Got again interrupted by her personal visit to point me which things are wrong, repeating everything twice as I am stupid to her. Man I can't code in peace. I fixed her shit, exactly as she wants and decided to pay my manager a visit to tell her I'm really pissed about being interrupted all the time.

Five minutes before the end of the day, she comes panicking in the office about ANOTHER WORTHLESS issue. Told her it's nothing and went away.

Day is over, thought it was over - a whole afternoon spent correcting her fucking page that gets 10 visits a year.

On the next morning, "there is something wrong with your form, can you check it?!!?" with an attached screenshot. FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUU STOP ANNOYING ME WITH YOUR FUCKING SHIT CANT WORK ANYMORE. PUT YOUR FUCKING PAGE RIGHT UP YOUR ASS AND FIX IT YOURSELF.

She doesn't have any access to the back end.

Guess I'll have to fix it then...

GAHHHHHHHHHH! Damn USPS!!! Privatize them already! Stolen is more like it. It was a Gigabyte Aorus X470 Mobo, an AMD Ryzen 5 2600X CPU, and 16GB of memory. The postal service is a bloated, unresponsive, government run trainwreck. If people would just stop using them, they would shrivel up and blow away. ARRGH!!! 🔥☠️🔥☠️🔥

What NOT to create in 2018:
1. macOS note taking apps in Electron
2. Text editors in Electron
3. Pretty much everything in Electron
4. “Simple” and “minimalistic” programming languages
5. Web frameworks

Online tutorial pet peeves
————————————

My top 10 points of unsolicited ranting/advice to those making video tutorials:

1. Avoid lots of pauses, saying “umm” too much, or other unnecessary redundancy in speech (listen to yourself in a recording)

2. If I can’t understand you at 1.5 - 2x playback speed and you don’t already speak relatively quickly and clearly, I’m probably not going to watch for long (mumbling, inconsistent microphone volume, and background noise/music are frequent culprits)

3. It’s ok to make mistakes in a tutorial, so long as you also fix them in the tutorial (e.g., the code that is missing a semicolon that all of a sudden has one after it compiles correctly — but no mention of fixing it or the compiler error that would have been received the first time). With that said, it’s fine to fix mistakes pertinent to the topic being taught, but don’t make me watch you troubleshoot your non-relevant computer issues or problems created by your specific preferences (e.g., IDE functionality not working as expected when no specific IDE was prescribed for the tutorial)

4. Don’t make me wait on your slow computer to do something in silence—either teach me something while it’s working or edit the video to remove the lull

5. You knew you were recording your screen. Close your email, chat, and other applications that create notifications before recording. Or at least please don’t check them and respond while recording and not edit it out of the video

6. Stay on topic. I’m watching your video to learn about something specific. A little personality is good, but excessive tangents are often a waste of my time

7. [Specific to YouTube] Don’t block my view of important content with annotations (and ads, if within your control)

8. If you aren’t uploading quality HD recordings, enlarge your font! Don’t make me have to guess what character you typed

9. Have a game plan (i.e., objectives) before hitting the record button

10. Remember that it’s easier to rant and complain than to do something constructive. Thank you for spending your time making tutorial videos. It’s better for you to make videos and commit all my pet peeves listed above than to not make videos at all—don’t let one guy’s rant stop you from sharing your knowledge and experience (but if it helps you, you’re welcome—and you just might gain a new viewer!)

Oh my fucking god. Stop posting the same screenshot over and over again. Ok, a company tested in production. But please don't send me screenshots of that shit every goddamn few minutes you cunts. After seeing the same screenshot for 20 times I finally got it so shut the fuck up now.

And maybe you should not only think about bad software. Maybe you should remember who is using that shit

"Hey ,we just hired a developer to work on app A ,so you can stop working on it and focus on B"

**2 weeks later **
"It's been 2 weeks.Why haven't you finished A already?"

TL;DR :

"when i die i want my group project members to lower me into my grave so they can let me down one last time"

STORY TIME

Last year in College, I had two simultaneous projects. Both were semester long projects. One was for a database class an another was for a software engineering class.

As you can guess, the focus of the projects was very different. Databases we made some desktop networked chat application with a user login system and what not in Java. SE we made an app store with an approval system and admin panels and ratings and reviews and all that jazz in Meteor.js.

The DB project we had 4 total people and one of them was someone we'll call Frank. Frank was also in my SE project group. Frank disappeared for several weeks. Not in class, didn't contact us, and at one point the professors didn't know much either. As soon as we noticed it would be an issue, we talked to the professors. Just keeping them in the loop will save you a lot of trouble down the road. I'm assuming there was some medical or family emergency because the professors were very understanding with him once he started coming back to class and they had a chance to talk.

Lesson 1: If you have that guy that doesn't show up or communicate, don't be a jerk to them and communicate with your professor. Also, don't stop trying to contact the rogue partner. Maybe they'll come around sometime.

It sucked to lose 25% of our team for a project, but Frank appreciated that we didn't totally ignore him and throw him under the bus to the point that the last day of class he came up to me and said, "hey, open your book bag and bring it next to mine." He then threw a LARGE bottle of booze in there as a thank you.

Lesson 2: Treat humans as humans. Things go wrong and understanding that will get you a lot farther with people than trying to make them feel terrible about something that may have been out of their control.

Our DB project went really well. We got an A, we demoed, it worked, it was cool. The biggest problem is I was the only person that had taken a networking class so I ended up doing a large portion of the work. I wish I had taken other people's skills into account when we were deciding on a project. Especially because the only requirement was that it needed to have a minimum of 5 tables and we had to use some SQL language (aka, we couldn't use no-SQL).

The SE project had Frank and a music major who wanted to minor in CS (and then 3 other regular CS students aside from me). This assignment was make an app store using any technology you want. But, you had to use agile sprints. So we had weekly meetings with the "customer" (the TA), who would change requirements on us to keep us on our toes and tell us what they wanted done as a priority for the next meeting. Seriously, just like real life. It was so much fun trying to stay ahead of that.

So we met up and tried to decided what to use. One kid said Java because we all had it for school. The big issue is trying to make a Java web app is a pain in the ass. Seriously, there are so many better things to use. Other teams decided to use Django because they all wanted to learn Python. I suggested why not use something with a nice package system to minimize duplicating work that had already been done and tested by someone. Kid 1 didn't like that because he said in the real world you have to make your own software and not use packages. Little did he know that I had worked in SE for a few years already and knew damn well that every good project has code from somewhere else that has already solved a problem you're facing. We went with Java the first week. It failed miserably. Nobody could get the server set up on their computers. Using VCS with it required you to keep the repo outside of the where you wrote code and copy and paste changes in there. It was just a huge flop so everyone else voted to change.

Lesson 3: Be flexible. Be open to learning new things. Don't be afraid to try something new. It'll make you a better developer in the long run.

So we ended up using Meteor. Why? We all figured we could pick up javascript super easy.Two of us already knew it. And the real time thing would make for some cool effects when an app got a approved or a comment was made. We got to work and the one kid was still pissed. I just checked the repo and the only thing he committed was fixing the spelling of on word in the readme.

We sat down one day and worked for 4 straight hours. We finished the whole project in that time. While other teams were figuring out how to layout their homepage, we had a working user system and admin page and everything. Our TA was trying to throw us for loops by asking for crazy things and we still came through. We had tests that ran along side the application as you used it. It was friggin cool.

Lesson 4: If possible, pick the right tool for the job. Not the tool you know. Everything in CS has a purpose. If you use it for its purpose, you will save days off of a project.

OMFG BOSS STOP CHANGING MY INTERFACES INTO CLASSES WITH REDUNDANT CODE AND IF ELSES BECAUSE "IT DIDNT DO ANYTHING" OMFG WE ALREADY WENT OVER IT YOU STUPID FUCK!!!

Tumblr looks like a burning ruins right now.

They won’t actually delete porn, but they won’t allow to post porn since today either. So, petabytes of porn are here, untouched.

They haven’t defeated porn on tumblr, but they got rid of almost all of the creators who’d driven their crappy website, they’re gone to reddit and Twitter. So, that’s what I call “defeat”.

It’s funny how they posted a gif containing what they consider a permitted content and their own bot flagged it just minutes after

So tired of people hating on tools, frameworks, languages, libraries without investing the time to fully understand the offering.

Just because you don’t understand it, does not mean it’s shitty.

It's so annoying! One of the developers just started explaining to me some of the recent changes in the infrastructure. I made these changes! I know about them and can explain them better than he did. I tried telling him that I already know but he just wouldn't stop. It felt like he was mansplaining. I don't usually get that at work so it was weird and frustrating.

Why are we still having degree vs autodidact arguments/debates?

It's fucking 2018, who gives a flying fuck how you learn?

Stop giving a shit about how people learn and give a shit about their abilities and skills.

I'm tired of people from both sides (people with degrees and autodidacts) acting like they're better than the other. Stop being arrogant cunts.

Some people have the self control and motivation to teach themselves.

Congratulations! That's fucking awesome.

Others don't and could use a structured environment like University to motivate and encourage them.

Hey it happens. At least you're trying.

My god. Just stop with this shit already. It's annoying and unnecessary.

If you made it this far, how's your week been going?

~RANT
I started two months ago a new role in a new company.
Together with 3 colleagues I manage a HUGE OpenStack platform (I’m talking about more than 300 customers, many petabytes of data, dozens of compute nodes 😍).

On Friday night a well-known multinational had the GREAT idea to update the software of one of the core components of the platform (Neutron).
Obviously it all went wrong and customers started to call and open tickets, so even if it was already past midnight we’ve been all called to arms.
As a workaround we had to rebuild ALL the networks, detach all the ports and reattach them to the VMs, with all the errors that came with this kind of operations, such as failing to get an internal/external IP, fail to boot etcetera.

What amuses me is the fact that the above-mentioned multinational just asked for logs with no solution (except for the above workaround) until Monday morning.

It has been a good weekend, i talked with professionals from all over the world, in various languages, and worked multi-tasking with two different computers, with a third that was used just to share my screen and VPN for the management network.

During this weekend I virtually met all the possible colleagues that I will meet in this new role, and it was pretty funny to see how they handle stress. (Badly if you ask)

I’ve been woken up at 7:30 after falling asleep at 6:45, I’ve slept 17 hours in 5 days, haven’t taken a shower in 5 days (I know, it happens, I worked from home) but it was worth it.
Not only and merely for the money (overtime work), but mainly for the job itself.
I love to handle this HUGE infrastructures for now, even if I think they have many limitations and many components could have been written better.

The best thing about this weekend was to meet a group of people from all over the country and the world that worked non-stop from Friday night until Wednesday night to solve the situation.

All of them understood me when I asked them questions, and didn’t treat me like the [insert random]science nerd that I am.

I felt like in the movies, in front of three monitors, working from the comfort of my chair, in my underwear, eating as fast as I could because I was constantly in call with someone.

Apart from that, WHAT THE FUCK WENT THROUGH YOUR HEAD TO DEPLOY AN UPDATE ON FRIDAY NIGHT, YOU FUCKING PIECE OF adorable man???

WHY COULDN’T YOU WAIT UNTIL MONDAY??? NOBODY USES THOSE SERVICES AT NIGHT APART FROM THE SCHEDULED JOBS!!!!!

I HOPE YOU’LL HAVE A LONG AND PROSPER LIFE, FULL OF JOY AND HAPPINESS

Stop using 5 year old, terrible drag and drop website designer which uses inline CSS and JavaScript and let us actually write it. They (barely) teach us html and then say that using a website designer is how it works in the real world. They actually disallow us writing it from scratch. Just glad I taught myself it already!

Hey there! I am pretty new but old to the community xD. Let me explain and introduce myself.

The post might be a little longer, depending on my inspiration, read it at your own risk ;)

I am here on devRant for almost a year now but, this is my first post. I wasn't active until a week ago or so. Why? Well, at the time, I didn't find posts interesting enough to keep me from work or school. I must addmit I was either stupid or confused (not uncommon for me).

Well, I am high school student who, when not prepearing for an entrance exam for faculty, is learning and doing indie game developent with my cousin's support.

Even though I was intermediate gamer whan I was younger, passionate but not addicted, I didn't even think about getting into game development until my cousin showed me one secific game and told me a story about it. Let's stop here and let me tell you why I tagged this rant with wk88.

I've already mentioned my cousin, he's my wk88 trouble. Why? I'll tell you only one thing. He studies CS at University of Cambridge, UK. He earned the scholarship by competing and earning multiple medals in programming in International Olympiad in Informatics. And here I am struggling with ******* trigonometric identities. But nvm, let's move on.

I told you about the game but didn't actually tell you the title and who developed it. So, my inspiration for getting into game development was Alexander Bruce , guy who designed Antichamber. If you haven't heard of it before/tried it yet, give it a shot, you probably won't be disappointed of you like fucking with your brain.

Here're some facts:
- Started learning programming at the age of 12, thought by my brother using Free Pascal in Lazarus.
- Have been learning C++ for 4 years and C# for 3, both at the same time.
- While learning these two, started building .NET based back-end and doing SQL stuff; failed to finish it, gave up after I realised I needed some advanced front-end skills, which I didn't want to learn, to implement a lot of things I wanted.
- Played a piano since I was 11 and been playing around with music production recently.

Here I am now, learning Blender and hoping that one day I will publish the game I've been developing for past year and a half.

Hope you didn't waste your time reading this. I will try to keep you up with things I experience durning future development.

Cheers! 🍻

It blows my mind that Google, advertisers, and a lot of companies seem to not understand the concept of a need fulfilled.

Google news: If you notify me of an article, and then I click on that notification, you can assume I read it. And you can also assume that I don't wish to read it again 2hrs later! So stop notifying me!!!

Amazon, AdSense, Facebook, everyone else: just because I bought new headphones, doesn't mean I wanna see ads for headphones. Actually it means the exact opposite. I don't want new headphones. I literally just bought some. And I especially don't want the exact same ones. I already have them.

Somehow, the targeted ads are worse than random. That's annoying.

How is this hard?

How can you defend your ugly unstructured mess of a PR, when every spit-droplet infused spray of words from your mouth is full of syntax errors?

How can you call yourself a developer without being aware of basic logic? I ain't got no tolerance for double negations, not not true is just true, you doltish twat.

WHEN YOU TALK THERE IS A CLOUD OF RED SQUIGGLY LINES IN THE AIR FLOATING AROUND YOUR HEAD.

I mean what the fuck is up with eggcetera? Why are you just swapping out letters? What has the little ligature t in & ever done to you? Do I have to fucking replace & with 🥚 so your word diarrhea makes sense again?

NO. JUST PLEASE... STOP TALKING. YOU'RE RAPING LANGUAGE, AND IT WAS ALREADY BEATEN DEAD.

Unlike me, you have a degree in computer science... but how, how the fuck did you pass? How did neither your tongue nor code get stuck in a linter?

AND YOUR RESPONSE IS STILL: "YOU DON'T NEED TO LEARN WHEN YOU'RE FINISHED WITH SCHOOL" ... "WHAT DOES IT MATTER, IT WORKS, RIGHT?"

NO, IT'S NOT RIGHT.

You're lucky I love refactoring.

I'll start with a medical grade steel scalpel and a long sharp hook. Maybe I can clean up this brain a little. See if the tests turn green if I cut some of this gray matter away... plenty of unreachable statements, so many unnecessary loops...

Might have to start from scratch.

interviewer: name something basic
me: your crappy ass bootstrap php5.4 website you call a “cloud data infrastructure”
interviewer: oh that’s very basic indeed

Allllllright. Time for another one of these. It's necessary.

We get it, you don't use/like/acknowledge Google. Please, kindly STFU already with it. The entirety of the smart internet has made your point.

Oh, because I use Google I'm a fucking idiot? No, you are for thinking that. I've used many engines and consistently have they given me worse results. "Oh, it's because they build a search profile for you, they're spying" Yeah, I get it already, fuck off.

Linux is NOT the thing that's going to solve every single human problem, so please stop treating it like a good and saying everything else is complete shit and nobody should use it.

Windows has issue, but so does Linux. At least I can (usually) comfortably update Windows, knowing what the update includes, without having to read the source code fhanges or be scared that there's a fucked up package update.

Just because something isn't open source doesn't mean it's the fucking devil. And just because I USE that closed source thing doesn't make me... Well, anything really, except for a guy who actually gets different programs. Please stop trying to tell me what I NEED TO DO to be a "good person" or user or anything like that, I'm going to do what I damn well please. If that means using Windows with Closed source things like Nvidia drivers and cards, the so be it. Got a problem? Go fuckyourself with it.

Once I strongly hissed at my boss from that time in a "stop now or I start yelling" voice.
We had an emergency and I was already working late to fix it. 8pm, only the both of us were still in the office. I was in the zone, still searching for the source of the problem and he kept coming in every 2-5 minutes offering his help, ripping every shred of concentration right off my skull, but he had absolutely no relevant technical skills, experience or information. There was nothing he could do.
In the end I hissed at him "Get your fucking ass out of here and let me do my job. This piece of shit kills my day and there is nothing you can do besides to say 'go home'."
Then he finally let me do my job.

So, my direct boss and I work from two different offices in two different countries. We are together in Scotland right now.

I used to have concerns about our relationship due to some issues we have had in the past.

What I realize this week, is the issues I have with him are exactly issues I have with myself. We are very similar personality-wise.

So really, I dislike many things due to them being my own negative personality traits.

I was going to leave the company when I get back, but I have decided after this week I will work on my personality and soft skills, I get a lot of leeway from him in regard to this, I am sure I would have already been fired anywhere else.

It really isn't a bad place to work, sure I could make significantly more somewhere else, but really, this company is good for the long game, it is stable, it is a brand, it is large and profitable (has been around 101 years) It is mostly a non-US company.

Lots of room to grow and expand IF I stop being a pretentious asshole.

The one issue I have is I am an only developer in my department, so I get overwhelmed quite easily and I lash out verbally and generally say the absolute wrong things to the wrong people. My boss protects me in this respect, again I most certainly would be fired anywhere else.

Also, this week I am working with a developer from another department, turns out, I don't like working with others as much as I thought I would. I actually like being in control of every aspect of the project and dealing only with my own code.

Lastly, I have noticed the same thing months ago when I was going to leave, and realized my faults, BUT I do good for a month or two (just like my boss does) then fall back into old habits of being pretentious hateful asshole without realizing it.

Anyone have any suggestions to catch myself before I lash out negatively or recognize when my attitude is falling back to default state?

I mean I acknowledge my faults, I am trying to change, and I do good a few months, but I forget that I am this way and simply return to what I do not want to be. Most people do not like me (they don't like my boss either, and they all talk behind our backs) which I really don't care, as I said it turns out I have issues with him because he is so close to how I am. I just want to recognize when my attitude starts declining again so I can remind myself all the good I have and not lament about insignificant bullshit.

FUCK LINUX

now that I have your attention, and you’re probably angry, too, please, even if you don’t read this rant, never use code.org again. now, onto the rant…

god dammit, code.org sucks. I mean, anyone who created it or associates with it should, well, be considered a terrorist. they’re bombing students futures in computer science with false, useless, bullshit information. not to mention, their sponsors like bill gates, mark zuckerburg, and other rich asses, talk in a video about some boring ass shit that is hard to understand for anyone who doesn’t program, and not to mention, they use a fucking five dollar microphone. ear rape. even if you look at a textual version of it, then read the information on it, it’s practically useless because it's so terribly explained, and also useless. ironically enough, they focus on their animations more than their actual explinations, or their students for that matter. the fact that we had to encode a picture in binary, made me about 50% dumber, give or take a 0 or 1. then, we had to do it in hex, which wasn’t really much better, although more realistic I supposed. what's really the most depressing thing about this class is its application in the real world. I've learnt nothing whatsoever that will help me in the real world, or in computer science. I suppose there's two things that may be useful (that I already knew): hex, and that TCP doesn't lose packets. that's it. those two things. five seconds worth of knowledge from the first quarter of the year. the ideas just make me want to throw up. teaching the main ideas of computer science without actually teaching it? one of the teachers (probably a good one) enrolled her students in an online programming course just so they could understand, because the explanations are just so terrible. this is the only [high school] computer science course offered by code.org, and I signed up because it's an AP computer science class (tried to get into AP Java, the day I was supposed to take the test to get into an upper level class, I was told it didn't count as a tech credit). seriously, fuck code.org. it makes you dumber. their 'app lab' environment is pointless, just like everything else. the app lab is basically where you have a set of commands and have to make a dog bark() or a storm trooper miss() [and that's hell when they haven't introduced while loops yet]. the app lab is literally code.org going out of their way to make everything that their students are learning pointless in the real world. seriously, why can't we just use a <canvas> like an ACTUAL PROGRAMMER would do if they were to make a browser game, not use an app engine so slow it would be faster to update windows and android studio each time I run an 'app' in their 'environment'. their excuse is that the skills "transfer over" to the real world. BITCH! IF I DIDN'T KNOW JAVA, AND I WANTED TO MAKE A GAME IN JAVA, I'M NOT GOING TO LEARN PYTHON, THEN "TRANSFER" THE SKILLS I LEARNT, I'M GOING TO LEARN FUCKING JAVA. AND THAT GOES FOR EVER OTHER LANGUAGE, PROJECT, ETC.

I'm begging you code.org, stop, get help.

Guys, I have a question that depresses me :
How do you cope with the fact that you're not Batman?

That seems a bit silly, phrased like this, but it's actually very serious. Bruce Wayne is succesful, pretty, charming, smart, creative, strong, skilled, daring, confident, selfless, and constantly depressed.
I'm just depressed. Well, maybe I'm smart, at least that's what IQ tests and my loved ones are saying, but I don't feel like I'm using that intelligence to its full extent.

***Here comes the big wall of text. Jump to the end if you're pressed.***
I feel depressed every week when I remember I'll never be a great violinist because I've no talent in music and barely any patience regarding it.
I'll never be a good painter because I've got no talent, no eye for beautiful things, and I'm utterly unable to draw what I see in my mind.
I want to be a "hacker". Not a h4x0r, just a man with enough creativity to see unintended uses in everyday things, or to see flaws and weaknesses in things that seems perfectly fine or secure at first glance. Also I want to know a good deal in computer security. But I'll never be a hacker, because my brain isn't wired that way, and it has already lost most of it young flexibility.
I'll never be as good in computers and programming as Linus Torvalds. I'll never have as much insight as Elon Musk. I'll never find a field to conquer just like Bill Gates.
I'll never make science breakthroughs as big as Einstein, Darwin or Stephen Hawking. I'll never be as good in maths as Alan Turing, never be a polyglot able to go anywhere in the world and make himself understood like this guy who learnt 10 languages in two years in this ad I keep seeing everywhere.
Well, things may happen, but it's so unlikely that my pragmatic mind just can't believe it.

I'm just an average smart pal, who wastes his time by sleeping because he's abnormally tired all the time, and who seems to never find the time to do anything although there is 16 hours in a day (given that you sleep 8 hours).

That fucking depresses me big time, and at this point I feel like it's a vicious circle and that I need professional help. I know I have to let go, and aknowledge the things I'm really good at, instead of focusing on things I'm not. But these just seem to be "easy" things to get good at. Realising that I'll likely never reach the level I aim really bugs me, and actually slows me down even more...

I'll stop here, but I could keep talking about it for hours.

That's a toxic mindset, but younger I've always seen myself as a bit superior. Now that I'm more mature and less arrogant, all that's left is my ambitions and the knowledge that they'll never be reached. Life has broken me a bit, these last years, which made me like this, and I still have to learn to cope with it.

I seriously think about ending it all, sometimes, for a few minutes. I'd never do it, be reassured, that's not a suicidal man call to help here. I'm too aware that this would do worse than anything, mostly for my loved ones, and I'm probably too coward anyway. But during these short moments, it's like I don't see the point of living since I'm just replaceable, and I don't see why I should keep going with the bitter taste of underachievement constantly in my mouth.

How do you guys cope with not being Batman?

Dear manufacturers..

Can we stop releasing special edition products and calling them 'Founders Edition'... How do you get the 'Founder' part?

Primary example are Google and NVIDIA, massive companies with enough money to do whatever they wanted and selling a controller or graphics card as 'Founder' is just bullshit, we aren't founding anything, its already there so just call it what it is, a slightly 'Pretty Edition' and call it a day .-.

Stop calling appetizers as 'Apps' would you already?

It confuses my hungry dev brain!

You stupid shit jerk fucks.

Your request to disable the coming soon mode was hours ago. Of course google will show you coming soon text when you searched for it. It is not like google is under my arse or something.

And what do you mean it is not showing up on YAHOO!
Who the hell is still using YAHOO! ?
And that YAHOO! showed me that coming soon text result just like GOOGLE when I tried. So why is it not showing that to you? Oh right, maybe because you are old and stupid.

Today is already busy enough with packing our stuffs, stop giving us stupid tasks to fix.

Call me a spoiled Linux kid but FUCK WINDOWS UPDATE!!
It's not even the shitty deployment cycle that they have for their updates, the real cancer is the fucking update app.
First off, if you fucking piece of shit already have the audacity to load gigabytes of updates over my 0.8mbit/s connection in the background, without my goddamn consent, at least let me PAUSE the fucking download!!! I don't see why the fuck you have to block my connection, and therefore me, from the most basic things like visiting a fucking website for more than a FUCKING HOUR to load useless updates, YOU PIECE OF BLOODSTAINED SHIT, I GOT SHIT TO DO.
And it doesn't stop there, noooo: then you even have the bloody fucking nerve to FORCE ME TO INSTANTLY RESTART AND SIT THROUGH YOUR FUCKING 40 MINUTE UPDATE PROCESS WHILE IM TRYING TO WORK.. WITHOUT THE ABILIT TO DELAY THE UPDATE!!! What the fuuuck?!

It is seldom that I am this 👌 close to just dd'ing /dev/null to my windows partition. Fuck you!!

Already wrote about wk92 but i have to add:

STOP MAKING ME ATTEND COURSES SO I AM EVEN ALLOWED TO TAKE EXAMS.

Like what the hell. You know when it comes to networking i'm doing okayish, coding straight A and then there is maths, let's not talk about it. BUT FFS I WAS NOT ALLOWED TO TAKE 2 OF MY CODING EXAMS THIS SEMESTER CUS I DIDN'T VISIT 2-3 EVENTS OF IT.

I am a coder. I aspire being a coder. I study software development. I just need to prove myself and some dudes can do it. Let me do my thing.
Btw, there weren't any mandatory events for maths. Of course. Why should there be. Yeah okay

For goodness fucking sake Microsoft. Stop doing everything possible to get me to use Edge Browser.
Since building my new computer I've had edge recommended in the notification center, lock screen, start screen, emails, and now on my fucking taskbar.

Seriously what the hell is wrong with them, I DONT WANT TO USE THEIR SHITTY BROWSER. I wont use their shitty browser so stop recommending it to me. I'm already invested In Google services so stop trying to push your own on me.

Honest to God what do the higher ups at Microsoft do with their time? Sit around a table figuring out how to get people to use their default apps?

Today is the real fuckening at work. The worst part is, you are working your ass off and someone started bugging you constantly on chat and blaming it is effecting his "productivity" because tech team doesn't solve his problem.

I have 4 projects under me with doing day to day operations also. But yeah just few more months before I left this shit. I wanted to shout back, but tried to keep my head cool, though I have already kicked his face many times in my mind.

If you cannot help, at least stop being a dick and appreciate someone trying his best to solve problems.

Next time someone asks me to teach them Git, my reaction would be this.

Fuck these saggy assholes running the fcc. “Oh my god net neutrality stifles innovation” says who? I say these fuck heads with six dicks up their pungent leaky assholes are stifling innovation by repealing net neutrality, and frankly there’s probably more proof for my standpoint then they will ever for theirs.

In fact there’s substantial reason to believe that an unregulated network will lead to censorship and handshake agreements that will severely stifle innovation.

I hope these guys spend the rest of their lives in federal prison for taking bribes.

All this coming from a party that claims they like small government and yet want more laws preventing abortion and gay marriage. And who is belligerent about freedom of speech in even the most ridiculous contexts, and yet so against free speech on the internet and totally happy to let Comcast decide what we’re allowed to say or see when it’s our fucking business.

And it’s not like the democrats are much better to be honest, begging and begging the government to take away all our guns because they’re missing the forest for the trees and are convinced that’s going to solve our violent culture problem (it will not) and they also think we need to have China level censorship on the internet and purge us of our right of the freedom of information and blame all their problems on Russia and Facebook, just because they can’t face facts that their candidate sucked piss.

Weak weak weak.

I want somebody who is going to respect freedom across the board, whether it’s free information, unbiased networking options, unbiased band allocation (guys, 20 MHz centered at 800 MHz is NOT THE SAME as 1900, hello already), or the right to own a gun, the right to decide what I do and don’t see or do and don’t read, the right to say what I want to say.

I don’t need some cunt in the fcc with no knowledge of how the internet works deciding what it means to be free on the internet, because HE HAS NEVER EXPERIENCED WHAT IT IS LIKE TO HAVE FREEDOM TAKEN AWAY FROM YOU ON THE INTERNET.

My friends in China know what it’s like to have freedom taken from you on the internet. The North Koreans know what it’s like to have their access to information controlled. And it doesn’t matter if it’s a government of a company doing it. I KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO HAVE MY RIGHTS THREATENED BY A THIRD PARTY COMPANY.

I have had my bandwidth throttled to my servers by Comcast pre-net neutrality and I’m looking forward to being sacked in the nuts again when those rules lapse. Since my email server is not a first class citizen on their network they throttled my speed down to sub dial up and I couldn’t even ssh in it was so preposterously slow. I had to yell at them every fucking day to remove the throttle rule. I also have come up against email domain whitelists when communicating with people, that effectively forces you to have a gmail or a yahoo or a hotmail account. Third parties force you to use email that ostracizes your right to privacy. FUCK THAT SHIT.

Regular fags who just use gmail and windows and don’t stand up for their privacy like I do DO NOT KNOW and WILL NEVER know what it’s like in a world without net neutrality regulations where you’re forced to get back in line with the masses and submit to having your life picked apart day in and day out by people who have their grubby fucking fingers in any of your business that’s within reach.

So so all these politicians who were dropped on their fucking heads as children and probably took until they were 25 to graduate high school, go fuck yourselves, I’m not going to sit here and take it while you hand over the keys to our lives to demons like Comcast or Facebook. I’ll find a way to connect to who I want see information freely no matter what you fucking do to stop me. So if you want to be in my business and control my communications, here’s my message to you: give it your best fucking shot, I’d love to see you fucking try.

Flash has made Java programs look desirable. And anyone keeping up with me knows I despise Java and C#, despite having written C# and currently working on deciphering a Java server to create documentation.

Before I begin, I want to make this clear: IT IS TWO THOUSAND AND FUCKING EIGHTEEN. 2018. WE HAVE BETTER TECH. JAVASCRIPT HAS TAKEN OVER THIS BITCH. So, firstly, FUCK FLASH. Seriously, that shit's a security liability. If you work for a company that uses it, find a new job and then fucking quit, or go mutany and get several devs to begin a JS-based implementation that has the same functionality. There is no excuse. "I'm fired?" That's not an excuse - if there is a way to stop the madness, then fucking hit the brakes on that shit or begin job hunting. Oh, and all you PMs who are reading this and have mandated or helped someone else to mandate work on an enterprise flash program, FUCK YOU. You are part of the problem.

The reason for this outburst seems unreasonable until you realize the hell I went through today. At my University, there is a basic entry-level psychology course I'm taking. Pearson, a company I already fucking hate for some of the ethically sketchy shit they pulled with PARCC as well as overreach in publishing to the point they produce state tests here in the US - has a product called "My PsychLab" and from here on out, I'm referring to it as MPL. MPL has an issue - it is entirely fucking Flash. Homework assignments, the textbook, FUCKING EVERYTHING. So, because of that, you need to waste time finding a browser that works. Now let me remind all of you that just because something SHOULD WORK does NOT mean that it actually does.

I'm sitting on my Antergos box a few days ago: Chromium and Firefox won't load Flash. I don't know why, and don't care to find out. NPAPI and whatnot are deprecated but should still run in a limited mode or some shit. No go on Antergos.

So, today I went to the lab in the desolated basement of an old building which is where it's usually empty except a student hired by the university to make sure nobody fucks things up. I decided - because y'all know I fuckin' hate this - to try Windows. No go in Chrome still - it loaded Flash but couldn't download the content. So I tried Firefox - which worked. My hopes were up, but not too long - because there was no way to input. The window had buttons and shit - but they were COMPLETELY UNRESPONSIVE.

So the homework is also Flash-based. It's all due by 1/31/18 - FOUR CHAPTERS AND THE ACCOMPANYING HOMEWORK - which I believe is Tuesday, and the University bookstore is closed both Saturday and Sunday. No way to get a physical copy of the book. And I have other classes - this isn't the only one.

Also, the copyright on the program was 2017 - so whoever modded or maintained that Flash code - FUCK YOU AND THE IRRESPONSIBLE SHIT YOUR TEAM PULLED. FUCK THE SUPERIORS MAKING DECISIONS AS WELL. Yeah, you guys have deadlines? So do the end users, and when you have to jump through hoops only to realize you're fucked? That's a failure of management and a failure of a product.

How many people are gonna hate me for this? Haters gonna hate, and I'm past the point of caring.

I am beginning to hate the relationship between email and my clients. I never thought it would come to the point where email is the worst communication platform I've ever used because some of my clients simply don't know how to use it properly.

I have one client who never uses the subject header in his emails. This makes conversational threads very difficult to follow, and I can't just scan the inbox I have for him. I have to actually do searches on my emails just to find recent conversations.

For some reason nobody knows how to start a new email thread. I have multiple clients that will just take the last email that I sent them, regardless of what it's about, and start a new conversation completely unrelated to the other email by hitting"reply". I end up with email threads that are 60 to 100 emails long and contain many different subjects, which again makes it hard to find anything. Never mind that they've usually put two or three important attachments, or username password combinations, or other valuable information in there amongst all the noise.

Worst of all, I have a few clients and co-workers who insist on starting a new email thread whenever anything about a particular issue comes up. This means that just today I have five separate email threads about the same goddamn issue from the same damn person. Am I supposed to respond to each thread with the same damned information? One of these people is supposed to be both a media consultant and an SEO expert and really should know better. Also, if you do actually send me an email with a subject like "the robot.txt error", please don't give me one sentence about that and five paragraphs about what color you'd like the background to be. That's ridiculous. How the hell am I supposed to find that later? Especially since we already discussed this in the other email that sitting in my inbox.

I swear I am setting up a bug tracking system simply so that my clients can log in and leave me bug reports, and feature requests, and will stop filling up my poor email boxes with what amounts to piles and piles threads that I have to sort through.

For a person who suffers with a form of ADD this is extremely frustrating. Why is it so difficult for my colleagues and clients to write good emails with good subject lines, and reply to the right damn emails?

Am I just being too anal, or does this bother others as well?

For the passed couple of years I've struggled with depression. This passed year has been so much better. I found a career path I enjoy, I learned a lot about myself, and I got a full time job.

I live with my grandparents and God bless their souls but I really want to move out. This realization really came last week when they left for a vacation and left me home alone. I've already lived away from home, volunteer work, internships. But now that I'm back home I'm bored, I have no responsibilities. I should also mention that I can't be myself around them, partly because I no longer believe in their God and partly because there never really was any transition between child and adult.

I talked it over with some older friends and they agreed that I should move out and offered some regally good advice.

I'm gonna wait until they get back and attempt to talk about it with them. I mean it's more of me telling them I'm moving out they can't really stop me at this point.

Anyway just wanted to get this off my chest. Hope you have a wonderful day.

It is time... to rant about macs!

No, seriously - I had such a different experience about which not many talk in real life or pretend that it never happens....

Model: 2015 mid MBP 15" with second to highest specs (don't have dedicated gpu).

Rattling fucking toy.... Yea, it rattles! If you shake/move ir sit in trait/bus - it non-stop rattles as a fucking toy. Worst part? It's confirmed issue by apple and it manifacturing issue that they are not keen on fixing!!!! WTF? We have 4 macs in our office - all of them fucking rattles... God help me how annoying that is. (Lose LCD control panel that unsticks from glue. Replacing it solves the issue for 1 month if you carry it anywhere).

Constant fucking crashing/updates.... Every morning I wake up and don't have an app that requires confirmation for restart - it's restarted. YAY, turning on all apps once again.... Why you may ask? Well, because if you tinker with software in any way - it fails to update it and hell breaks lose. It's been a long time since High-Sierra came around and the issue is still there (not running Mojave as it conflicts with soft I have... Woo!). Tried few times - updates fail. Resolution? Reinstall OS!

OS conflicts with applications - damn... People told me it works out of the box.... Yeah, as long as you don't upgrade the OS - then it breaks. Why? Well, because.

Piece of shit power supply. With 4 of our office power supplies - 2 of them failed twice withing warranty and once afterwards... Really? Not to mention that all 4 are starting to shear the sleeve or already did (mine is just wrapped with white electrical tape to give it a support... lol).

Bluetooth - who the hell needs that in mac, right? Well, people do. To start with - it conflicts with 2.4GHz wireless network - you might have one of those and not both at the same time. Next thing is using a device that needs constant connection (mouse, headphones, keyboard - non apple branded) - shit... They can't stay connected for more than an hour without any issues... Constant battle to re-connect it, to re-pair the device and all due to smart apple bluetooth settings. Hell, my mouse (logitech MX master) was even printing random symbols in some applications if moved. All of the issues went away after using a bluetooth dongle... WOO!!!!

Xcode... Ahh, you may never prepare your mac if you don't download 17GB of fucking xCode libraries that enables some tools to be installed/runned as you can NOT get them in any other way and you have to install full xCode software in order to get them... YAY! 17GB wasted on my 256GB SSD that I can't upgrade. GREAT!

OsX applications - ah, don't get offended but if you are using them and you are fine with them - you are probably a monkey that loves being told what to do. You can't customise any actions, you can't configure it the way you like - either you accept their default workflow or go kill yourself. Yep... Had issues with calendar, mail, iMessages, safari... None of them fit my needs :)

Resolution scaling... Fucking hell, the display is 2880 x 1800 but all you let me to use is 1440x900 without scaling? Am I blind to you? Scaling the resolution means that you are fucked if some applications don't support scaling very well. Looking at you Jetbrains - your IDES suck at scaling and slows down the pc to a potato....

Now the pros - keyboard is way better than the new ones, trackpad is GREAT - no need for mouse (using it on external 4k displays only), the battery life is great - getting around 6h of continues development time, 8 if using sublime instead of phpStorm and well, that's about it...

To clarify:
I've bought this device due to the fact that at that time mac and windows pc's with similiar specs costed the same while windows pc sucked with their quality of the device and trackpad... Now the situation is better and when time comes for a next upgrade - it's going to be one of these:
Razer Blade 15, Dell XPS 15, Lenovo Carbon X1 series.
And of course - LINUX. I've had enough issues with windows, and had enough of retardness of apple ecosystem, so switching it is a must for me.

Disclaimer: I might be an unhappy customer, a bit picky but I'd like my device to be setted up as I like and continue to have that until I don't like, not until the company decides to break it. Not to mention that paying almost a yearly salary in my country for one device - I'd expect it to be at least reliable and work without issues....

Rant over.

ps. You can disagree with me, this is my personal experience with MBP over the last 3 years :)

Woke up to see miscroshit is buying GitHub and saw atleast 3~4 rants about

Alright we get it, stop being redundant, I'm dealing with iframes and YouTube iframes with jQuery already

!dev I guess

Stress and anxiety are bitches. I'm sure that mostly everyone here already knows that. Sometimes life is just a fucking mess, and no matter what you do, it just gets worse and worse.

Personally, shit's just gotten so bad lately. A bit more than a year ago life was shit and I started pulling out my hair, then I noticed I had a bald spot after about a week and I did everything I could to stop. Managed to stop, until recently. Right now I have a fair sized bald patch right on the top of my head after about a month of pulling. At least I have long hair (about chest length) so I can just put it up to cover the spot.

This community has been the thing keeping me sane lately and I just wanted to thank you guys for just doing what you do. I'm a fucking mess and just need an outlet

Boss: "do you have a minute?"
Me: "sure"
Boss: "I have this problem, can you just stop doing whatever you are doing and fix it for me?"
Me internally: *no I don't, what I'm doing right now is fixing another one of your problems for which you've interrupted other work already"
Me: "Yeah sure, gimme some time"

Can't afford to fail my internship and I don't want a shitty work environment which I why I don't speak my mind...
But man this is tiring...

Can we just fucking stop with reposting commit strips already?

Not a single fucking release of them goes without it being posted atleast 3 times here, 10 times on facebook and fuck knows how often elsewhere.

People who want to see them will follow them and see them anyway.

And atleast fucking credit them if you still gonna be an unoriginal leech anyway

During my first year of working, I was offered to work part-time at another company. I actually took it to my supervisor and asked for his advice.

He began with a sigh, he knows that I like programming so much and wants the job because I wanna do more programmings. He gathered his thoughts and said calmly, "Look, I cannot stop you if you want to, but think about this, you already are doing programming for five days a week here. Take those extra times you have to develop other parts of yourself. Go learn public speaking or something" or something along that line.

I gave it a deep thought, took the advice, and rejected the offer. I eventually went on to commit myself on volunteering for the next two and a half years, and secured a promotion about a year from that conversation because my supervisor sees improvements in my communications with others and my soft skills in general (unlike programming, you can't volunteer in an organisation without speaking to people).

Sometimes we programmers only wanna code that we forget that what we're building are for humans and involves other humans. You wanna be the best at work? Try to grow on your horizontal axis, too.

I have an Android phone. Pixel 2 to be exact, and I love it. Many family members and friends of mine have iPhones. To each their own.

Having said that, I absolutely HAAAATE the stupid iPhone feature that lets users react to text messages. Today all those iPhone users added me to literally 5 different SMS groups (which by themselves are their own sin), chatting up a storm all evening. I already hate group texts, please, leave me alone. But it gets so much worse when my phone blows up with twice as many messages because so-and-so "liked" this message, and so-and-so "laughed" at that message. It sends you their chosen verb alongside the ENTIRE original text AGAIN.

Such a stupid feature, leave Facebook on Facebook, why the hell do text messages need reactions? I don't give a shit that you liked or laughed or loved that so and so said they will be there at 9 o clock.

At least i have the ability to mute notifications for each group otherwise I'd be replying to every group text I get with a trolling big trigger item or something super inappropriate until they stop. Don't want this to continue? Stop group texting me, stop reacting to texts, and don't do it again.

Chat apps. What's the idea? Those are basically tools of violence. They give you a possibility to in real-time stop someones work and start demanding service. Now. Immediately.

Usually people send you first email and then they after 10 seconds chat "did you see my email?? read it! serve it! please me!" Usually it's just a small request to document something, review someone else's document. Do it ASAP. If you were coding something, then drop it and do someones job for them instead.

You got a request for me to create some verification case list? Put it into my backlog. I might start doing that in week or two. Or month. In case there's nothing else more important. Since I know that you are working with something that you think is the whole universe, but trust me, I got my own problems already.

But hey, if I don't reply to your chat in a minute, please feel free to walk behind me and start explaining your life. No need to wait even for me to get my headphones off. "Oh you are in conf call? Well, this is just a quick thing blaa blaa..."

I fucking hate morning people like the one in the story below!

Before we begin story time I want to acknowledge some things.

This is largely a case of a person having a lack of awareness and giving in to their base instincts (which are wrong).

People all tend to think that everyone else is like them (most children below a certain age cannot make this distinction and many adults never learn it either).

To take it a step further, anyone who isn't just like them is Lazy/Bad/An Asshole/etc.

FUCK THOSE PEOPLE

Now it's story time...

---------

I worked for a startup. We used a modified SCRUM, and we had standups every day @ 10 AM, the other team had then at 11:30 AM.

We get a new product owner. He is a morning person. But basically, he is a day-trader so he wakes up at 5 AM to trade and is in the office by 8 AM every day.

The problem is, he uses this as a reason to leave every day at 3 PM when EVERY other member of the team is there until at least 5 PM.

So he says one day (when I am not there) that we are moving our standups to 8:30 AM...

"Because he wants to make more use of the time and wants to get more done!"

So the next day a bunch of us miss this standup, the second day I was there in time but instead of going to the standup I sent them a picture of myself sitting in a coffee shop across the street with a message saying...

"I will be holding a meeting today at 10 AM, I expect EVERYONE to be there. If anyone on our team is absent then we will sit there and that absent person will be responsible for the time we waste waiting for them."

10 AM rolls around and the Product Owner is nowhere to be seen. The team starts complaining about the early standup and I tell them that this meeting is for me to take care of it. I tell them to sit silently and let me handle it.

We all message the PO saying the same thing...
"Come to the meeting, You are wasting our time!!!"

So he shows up at 10:20 AM and it begins.

(Now I'm going to do this as a conversation)

PO: "So I assume this is about the standup?..."

ME: "Feel free to ramble on as long as you want, you have already wasted 20 minutes of our time so we will sit here quietly and wait for you to decide you are ready to stop wasting our time with your ramblings. That's fine."

<PO then shuts up in disbelief>

ME: "So are you finished?"

PO: ...

ME: "I'm expecting an answer PO!"

PO: Yes, for now.

ME: I am moving our standups to 5 PM, end of discussion.

PO: Becuase your too lazy to be here by 8 AM?

<I expected this>

ME: No because I'm an asshole who expect everyone to conform to my schedule.

PO: ..., Well, I am not here at 5 PM.

ME: Sounds like your too "lazy" be here at 5 PM, eh?

PO: I have other things I do then.

ME: Ah, now the truth comes out. You care more about your life than our business. That's unacceptable! I personally don't care what you want to do. The fact is that we are working here and every day we end up having PO questions that need to and can't be answered because you are not here.

PO: <To the team> The standup is still at 8:30 AM.

ME: <To the team> The standup is at 5 PM. End of story. And from now on whenever we have questions before 5 for PO and he is not here we will be recording it and putting it in his report.

Then I walk away.

That day we held a standup at 5 PM. He wasn't there. He held a standup at 8:30 AM and he didn't even show up. He stayed home a video in. He then arrived in the office and said...

PO: Since no one was in the standup today we will be moving it back to 10 AM.

ME: Since PO has seen the selfishness of his ways, We will be moving the standup from 5 PM back to 10 AM.

FUCK THOSE PEOPLE

Built a C#/.NET application with support for a serial device. Tested it on systems A, B, C initially, all Windows system, same .NET version, same targeting, same build tool version, same initial connection configuration etc, etc.

Testing - works on A and C, B nopes.
...
OK, let's check the source, is there something about B that makes it impossible to execute that bit? - No, there is not, you checked that already, stop poking around, it definitively should work on B.
...
OK, maybe admin privileges, there is I/O involved, didn't need that on A and C, but who knows - nope, doesn't work on B.
...
OK, maybe something wrong with the connection settings? First try at reinstalling driver - but no, it doesn't work on B.
...
OK let's try with another device - more/less devices on B. Other USB ports. No. Still does not work on B.
...
OK, this is stupid, but, is the cabling alright? It is, of course it is, stupid - but it still does not work on B.
...
OK, at that point I'm just gonna ask a colleague, GrumpySoftwareDev whether he has any clue why it doesn't work on B. GrumpySoftwareDev knows nothing, but discovers that one of his applications doesn't work on Windows 10. You know nothing, Jon Snow, but it doesn't work on B.
...
OK, now I'm just going to ask another colleague TheLastOfHisKind who handed B down to me somewhat bluntly if he ever experienced problems when working with B and its serial configuration. TheLastOfHisKind tells me he does not and kindly offers me some input on the situation. Still no progress to get it working on B but he hinted he might have fucked up B's driver. I already reinstalled the driver but didn't reboot, which comes after reinstall.
...
OK, I'm just gonna remove and re-install the driver, then restart. Hu! Now the UI is gone but another serial device reacted on a general call. Not fully working on B but we're getting there.
...
OK, I don't know, I'm getting frustrated, let's borrow another system D - which has roughly the same configuration as B - from my colleague StrongCurrentGuy. StrongCurrentGuy borrows me his system and cautions me not to break it. I install the driver, plug the device and copy the application from B. It just works on D. Not on B though.
...
OK, you know what. I'm done. For shits and giggles I'm gonna remove that driver again, reinstall it and restart, maybe it'll magically work afterwar- WHAT THE HELL, I JUST OPENED IT AFTER RESTARTING, IT JUST WORKS - ON B!

... seriously, what the fuck. But yeah, at least it works now.

When will Microsoft stop ruining good products?
Xamarin was a decent enough platform untill MS got a hold of it. Now, you never know what the next update will break.
Skype is already lost to the MS darkness.

I walked like a mile and a half in some extremely uncomfortable boots to my uni's surplus warehouse to try and grab a tower at some ridiculously cheap prices (like an Optiplex 980 with an i7 for like $30).

I got lost as fuck because it was like 6 months since I last came here. I was there about 15 minutes after it opened and they're already sold out. Time to walk another mile back to the bus stop salty as fuck.

So.. real question, how the fuck do we unionize as IT? Software development, sysadmins, etc... I really think there is a need to stop managers expecting us to handle all of the constant stress, constant learning at home and constant overtimes to meet stupid deadlines so the boss can buy a new Porsche? I've been thinking about this for a while already, anyone has any ideas?

My new coworker: That "I know everything about all and I'm better than you" kind. Is working on Accounting but already has her fingers on my work, telling my boss things like "that's easy to do"...
Of course, she knows absolutely nothing about programming and I.T., but is easy for my boss to believe an easy lie than a complex truth.
(sorry, crude language and caps follows)
Hey, listen you fucking excuse of person, DO YOUR FUCKING JOB and stay away of my DAMN GOOD FUCKING CODE and my FUCKING SERVERS.
Not going to give you admin access in a gazillion years, even if my life depends on it.
And stop saying nonsenses about things that you WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND, because those things are too complex and abstract for your little stupid mind to understand.
Go ahead, mess with me! Will sue you to the end of your FUCKING world!

Thanks girls/guys/lasses/lads.
This is absolutely therapeutical.

I really think there should be a subject in every CS course to teach us how to handle/work-under Grade-A assholes and dumbfucks. Not that it would help, but atleast warn us on what we are getting into.

In my opinion, development is not *that* hard or frustrating but is made so by these shitty people. But again, what do I know.

I was scolded by my boss for using for-loop to iterate through an array recently. Apparently for-loop is not used in real world projects and this iteration should be done "in-memory". My colleagues and I are still trying to understand and process that.

I was asked to add fitbit integration to a project within 2 hours just because I had "already done it a week ago" in *another* project. Luckily, it was then given to a "senior" developer who took 4 days for it and essentially copy-pasted my work without much changes, ofcourse it stopped working every now and then.

I am given unreal deadlines on my tasks, on technologies I haven't worked on before, and then expected to churn out production ready code with no bugs in them.

My boss literally just sends me the links of 1st three google results on the problems I encounter and report, after humiliating me ofcourse. Yes, I did google it and yes I went through all I could find from Google forums to GitHub issues. When the library/plugin author himself says that this feature is not yet available, don't expect me to develop it in 2 hours you dumbfuck.

And for the love of God, please stop changing the data model every single day and justify it with agile development. Think before making any changes to it. Ever heard of Join queries? Foreign keys? Or any other basic database concepts.
We reached a point where each branch in the repo had different data model. Not kidding. And we were a team of just 4 developers. Atleast inform us when you change models after discussing it with your shit for knowledge "senior" developer, so we don't have to redo it all over again. The channels on slack are not for sharing random articles only.

I am just waiting to complete my year here.

I should have known what I got myself into the day he asked me to remove the comments I had added to explain what my code does. Why you ask? Because "we don't write comments".

Now whenever someone asks me what I do I'll just say "technician". No more "I've got an awesome startup/website idea: it's like [company/software] just better and different!", or "Oh cool, the aunt of my daughters ex boyfriend's class mate has a problem with her microwave oven, could you have a look?"

I usually open this account when my brain is full of shit. So brace yourself if you wanna read next. you won't get any more happier. i definitely am not.

I AM A SHIT RIGHT NOW. So fucking done with everything. a month from now and i turn 21, and look what i have achieved: shitty brain, shitty personality, ugly looks nd no income. But well, most of the people i know are more or less similar.
But what the fuck i am. so less of confidence. can't even write here without a fake account. Coz my original account has details of a cheerful, joke posting swaggy mobile dev guy with good social skills. But am I? where is the proof? I am about to go to 4th year this august, my college (of the "great" indian edu system) wants the students to do internships and fucks. But i don't wanna do that. I had done that twice already when other students were playing and roaming and enjoying their life
So here i am , a so called "dev" not doing any shit in summer.
So what i am doing? wait we wil come to that.
So how's college going? shit. Maybe i am not fooling myself and the other people around me that i am a "so good" dev that i keep my fat ass home during summer and do poorly at college with average attendance & marks. But currently everyone is forgetting me and giving me shit for being a shitty student.

Oh. So how'z family doing? Oh its Bad(even writing that word hurts) to be honest my daddy( i love him so much) was not a good businessman. We changed business from being a small grocery shop owner to water supplier to now a restaurant. mum and dad, they are now in debts that hey can pay but they are trying their best to get a settled life and safe source of income.We are at the verge of closing. fuck. Our food is liked by everyone, but here we need a staff of 7 .Those fucking cheap village labor runs off to their homes in summer. And my dad who should be manager ,has to do tasks like cleaning utensils. Yet he does, that lovely old man.
And what does their "only 21 yr old son" does? fucking sit in their home, doing no shit but sleep during the day and watching a fucking laptop screen during the night.
Its been 2 years of mobile dev. i think i know a lot of things, But i don't feel confident about it. I thought about giving a certification paper that would give me a little boost but i don't feel confident about that too. its syllabus had a lot of things that i didn't know when i saw it first, last year. There are a lesser things now that i don't know. and maybe if i give it a week or two, i would be fully equipped to take that shit.
That's what my plan of action was, this summer. That , along with many other things: To give that paper. To learn 10-12 more frameworks/technology/languages, build 2-3 production level apps ,have a solid resume and then try for companies(but clg wants to force us in getting internships and shit).Also in terms of personal goals: get in shape wake up early, sleep early , exercise,go for runs, eat right. get and learn a fucking 2 wheeler (Yup. that's right. 21 yaer old ,who doesn't have/know how to drive a scooty. family couldn't have bought it then and now i don't want it. another pin of shame on my chest). help my small 3 ppl family in its business.

But all went to this shit that i have made.
>>"Hey X, its vacations now! let's learn this new language/framework/gaming engine that we so much dreamed during our papers" "Meh. fuck it, first let me get give that paper i have been postponing" .
>>"oh yeah you can prepare for that in a week ,let's do this" *15 days passes. no shit is done*
>>"Oh X, you gotta stop wasting time" *downloads another season of oitnb*
>>"Common man. okay stop, let's leave screen, wake up early , focus on body goals" *Wakes up tomorrow, goes to park, does running,exercise, comes home. Ow body hurting. sleeps full day. wakes in evening*
>>"Oh man, you missed the whole day's study" " yeah mann. fuck the morning routine. that makes body full of pain. Let's leave body goals, we can't focus on study coz of that. and what good would a less obese sagging guy be anyway, when you are already 5'4 . fuck exercise"
>>" hmm. okay. but no more web series or sleepless nights" *Goes on watching full series in night and sleeping full day without moving his ass by an inch, while poor family goes onto their routines*
>> "ahh this is getting insane. go meet your friends, you are too lonely. How are they anyway?" Fucking great friends they are. I used to think that i overthink about friendships & othr ppl's actions and should take things lightly. So when a small prank happened and i got out of the 'whatsapp' group, i was never invited in again and am now totally cut off! in real life we are all chill, even when we DM its all gud, but mann , did we all actually chatted in that shitty group only? coz i don't see any msgs in my DM. what the fuck is everyone upto ? I keep feeling those lazy asses are talking w/o me but keep trying to tell myself to not give a fuck coz they don't.
Great going.

So I had to test an Android app I made with some friend a month ago because tomorrow we'll be presenting it in front of our teacher, and we had to recall the bugs, and change some API key (because Google changed their API policy and stuff).
I start Android Studio, it updates, I change the API key, launch the emulator and wait for the updated apk to install.
> Android Studio waits for the device to be online... wut ? The emulator has booted for 2 minutes now.
> Close the emulator, starts it again
> Emulator doesn't launch
> IDE ERROR : Unable to locate adb
> DID THE FUCKING UPDATE DELETE ADB ? ARE YOU TRYING TO MIMIC WINDOWS OR WHAT ?
> Quack the error to find where it should be
> "Launch SDK Manager, install platform-tools if it's not already in <path in explorer>"
> Not in explorer, check in SDK Manager : "Installed". wut ?
> Try to uninstall/reinstall
> "Uninstalling platform-tools... Some log messages... Stopping ADB..."
> WAIT WAT ? HOW DO YOU WANT TO STOP SOMETHING THAT'S NOT INSTALLED ?
> Doesn't stop adb (of course). Stalls. Does nothing. Still tries to stop adb. Is dumb.
> Kill Android Studio, restart, retry
> Same result.
> fml.jpg

I'm reinstalling Android Studio right now. It will take 2 hours because of all the sdks and tools to download and it's 00:05. I consider ending my life at this moment.

!rant.
I think i joined devRant back in October and since then it has become my most used app. Its so great to be under the same of its kind! And even though I don't have something to rant about at the moment, I am gonna support all those ranters with my ++'s! I already ++'t over a thousand rants and won't stop!

Last night, after reading one of my computer science textbooks, I couldn't go to sleep because I came to the realization that computers will never be able to think like humans. Because a machine does what it's told to do. It is incapable of thinking outside of the box. What will need to happen is that parts of a human or some biological organism, essentially the squishy stuff, will need to be combined with a computer.

What I mean to say is that computers are good at answering questions in an absolute way. Essentially, you give it a problem and it will click away at it until some output pops out. Yes advanced AI exists, like Alpha Go. But again it's only doing what it was programmed to do. Looking at ways to play a game and answering for that question. In this case, playing a game of Go. I'll guarantee you, that not once did it stop to ask **why** it was playing Go. It was simply__just__ playing Go. But that's it. That's the limit. We give machines data/statistics and we let me them give us an answer based off of that data or input.

This is how I imagine intelligent machines will come about. A biological brain will be combined with a machine. The brain will be doing alot of the questions, and the machine will do a lot of the calculations. Together, they'll be able to answer hard questions. The heavy calculations will be left to the machine, and the heavy thoughts will be left to the brain.

I mean technically we're already doing that. But imagine a machine/brain computer that does not sleep, can't get sidetracked and will never procrastinate. That would be a scary machine.

10 year anniversary 'celebration' for a couple of employees (one dev, one a DBA) and the VP of the department was saying kind words about them, talking about the 'good old days'.

VP to the DBA: "I apologize, when you started, you walked into my database architecture. I didn't know that much back then and never thought about the architecture much beyond a few years. Its amazing my design has lasted over 20 years and triple digit business growth..blah blah blah"

Inner voice: "Mother F-er!...My database was designed IN SPITE of your meddling and demanding to create 1,500 field tables. Shut the F up you egotistical bastard!"

I can't even count how many times I had to stop him from, for example, adding a 'ProductID' field to a Customer table.

Me: "Why did you add a product id field?"
VP: "How else will we know what product the customer wants to buy?"
Me: "You mean like a wish list? What if the customer wants more than one product?"
VP: "Oh, that’s easy, we'll create more fields when that happens. ProductID2. Microsoft made it really easy to add fields."
Me: "We already have a wish list table schema. Customer can have as many wish lists and as many products as they want."
VP: "I don't understand. All I want is a field for me to store the product I'm buying. I don't know why you make this so hard, its just one more field."

Now the VP is bragging all the success was due to his expertise?! Gaaaaahhhh!

I quelled my rage with ample quantities of donuts, juice, and chocolate milk.

Today I was debugging some shitty code left by unknown developer whos linkedin account is dead and phone number left in contact card calls local pizza house.

I knew it qould be hard so i've made myself comfortable, gathered 5 redbulls and other items that diabetes people would kill for eating again.

After around 10 minutes i was already frustrated but i kept the pace. "Who is the best, little devie, you!" - I fooled my ego to keep up and shut up.

After around 10 next minutes my attention span has ended. Limbic system started injecting some hormones into my brain, but I remained silent.

First two energy shots were applied. I felt like hero again. Two minutes after I was debugging through some library that was written fo java and found out that it ahots some natives to a c lang lib called "mypreciouslib".

Oh flock, how can i debug it if ita compiled , I cannot do such things, Me be only junior dev. I started swearing, but silently.

Started ollydbg to see what is inside livrary, i searched through but i couldnt match anything it was like mess stirred with fecals of an elephant.

So I opened aida pro " with vitamins" cause obviously, our pm says "but you write in java right " so we dont need those tools right ? Fuck no.

Aida was better at least i could find some funcions calls, but hey, the progress. I was swearing out loud, with earplugs in. And by the time I've sweared all the things in company i got a reminder.

"Hey -insane- stop swearing, the children are here."-sayys pm, it is some kind of " family and work " shitfuck day.

So i asked them: " why wouldnt you buy this fucking tools for programmming for us , you wouldnt have to hear me fucking swearing" . then i realized that , colleagues in room heard all of it, and one of them, total fuckface buttlicker(dev without bit of knowledge) started something like "you are wrong, see how good our software is sellling". Pm was like smiling like he thanked him for buttlicking again. Not to mention he is officially retarded and i know his password to all our services cause he is so smart to put it into text file and then have sharing files in windows turned on.

The other one told aloud, that we would be much better with some debugging tools that are better than fucking eclipse if we have to work without code.

PM told us that he will arrange a meeting. At that point I didnt care any longer. I just fired myself, fuck them.

Please saint Stallman give me hope and joy of programming from my teenage years. Uhhh..

The client wants the booking project to be all in JS Framework (not specifying any) and NO PHP since client hates PHP (and I don't know why) from the very beginning when the only dev was my former front-end partner (lead dev).
I was wondering why the client still continued the project, YET the file extensions were still on PHP. I asked the lead dev what happened and answered he didn't know know how to start migrating to JS framework and just started NATIVE PHP.
Still, as being a good dev and a supporter to lead dev, did accept and the project as lead dev's assistant. Fixed bugs, enhancement and responsive (DEMMIT, I FREAKING HATE RESPONSIVE) and later complained why am I doing front-end tasks, when it's not my task, supposedly. I EXPECTED MORE ON BACK-END TASKS!

(HERE'S THE EPIC ADVISE GOES AND CALLED OURSELVES MASTER)

Me: Master, why did you not started the project in JS Framework instead of native php?
Lead Dev : You know what master, this project has been already done if the client allows US to use WordPress for this project will still be migrated to JS. And now, WE are trapped to make every window size be responsive since there are already a standard for each window screen.
Me: (DO NOT INCLUDE ME IN YOUR FUCKING SORCERY! I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU DID THERE AND WHY D'YOU ACCEPT THIS PROJECT, SLAVE, WHEN YOU ALREADY KNOW YOU DO NOT KNOW HOW TO DO IT, IN THE FIRST PLACE. STOP BEING A DICKHEAD AND DO NOT WASTE CLIENT'S MONEY AND EFFORT FOR YOUR USELESS BUNCH OF SHIT!) Indeed, responsive is a such a pain in the arse.
Lead Dev: Maybe, let's just finish our tasks first and wait the project to be migrated to JS.

P.S. The project manager and client asked me if I do know how to migrate the project from native PHP to JS framework and sabotaged lead dev. OFCOURSE, YES! But, I did not respond that quickly, unless eerm, you know, I earn greater than lead dev. Truth be told and practically speaking, it's really unfair for me if I accept the back-job when the lead dev delivers inaccurate deliverables and earned greater than me. No way, Jose!

Now, I am not working with him because I'm super done with him and later did I know, lead dev is looking for Drupal dev to be working for the booking project.

See that hair-thin gap to the right? Me too, because it’s actually there. You had one job, microsoft! And you messed it up again! For fucks sake!

The only thing I studied from HTML is that you have to close anything you have opened.../>
I already had some experience with C++ and suddenly they suggested me to take a mentoring.
My mentor - Well, we're going to learn HTML.
- I'm busy. I'm learning python...

- What have you done? Did you learn the HTML?
- Eeh I need to do a neutral network project for the uni. Wait please...

- It's time to learn HTML.
- Eeh I have a deadline in these days. I have to make an Ethereum smart contract. Wait please...

- HTML!
- WAIT!

Finally I asked my mentor to stop this fucking recursion. I'm not going to learn it.

(mostly !dev) Fuck humans! Really: what a scum bag race. All that shit talk about human dignity, the highest values are just sugar coating the low base motives we mostly live by. Like people have such fine antennas for your income, social status, the power or lack thereof you exert over other. They know it before you open your mouth, that they can pick on you, harass you, because you're the one on the receiving end, the one that bows away. The bullies feel that. On an overcrowded chicken yard you'll find more dignity than in human society.

Everybody drooling over that polished photoshop life on facetubeinsta: materialistic, consumeristic, masturbatic wastage. At least we now say it openly: that if we were the winners, we'd also take it all, live that empty luxury, life of fame. But 99,99% of us, we aren't in that position, just working off our arse to only keep afloat. And for the stars, those fake images, we're just rats to click on ads to better train Google.

No wonder that software, as a picture of human communication is such a shitfest of arbitrary, entropic conventions and endemic epidemic of quirks, bugs and evil trap doors. As a whole: an insults to reason, a challenge to sanity. (...Conway's law)

And I'm still a bit pissed at our profession, that, you know, as engineers, scientists, physicists, we still see us in the lineage of that "great" age of enlightenment and reason,.. while it's all just a cover up. Sure science and their ideas are nice as long as you serve a purpose or make some money. Sure democracy and free speech are great achievements, but in the end some elites and monopolies rule the world at their gusto - and will not stop destroying the world unless we're already one feet in the abyss (like 1962, be we ain't had enough of that shit, hadn't we?)

My boss just added a video about a product in a whatsapp group that has all employees asking everyone to spread it to your personal groups 'to promote it as much as possible'.

Well, fuck this shit their cringy-ass music video makes me want to bleach my eyes. And how does this fucker expects us to spread his cancer in our groups for his profit?
Also half of the people in the group are sucking his dick already with replies like "Sure ✌" and "OK sir!!! ".

Fuck you morons grow a spine and stop bending over so easily to make others happy. 😐

!rant
<tl;dr>Remembered why I love programming so much, and so you should</tl;dr>

I went again in the coding zone, after a long time...

Yesterday, around 10 pm, I got some time to lose, and I decided to configure i3 on my linux partition. I was already using it for almost one year, but kept the manjaro default config to have something at least usable in the meantime. So I started to write down on paper which feature I wanted, then got to work, looking on ddg to find out how to accomplish some things (it was maybe the second time in my life I was touching i3 config files, didn't know anything about it), found interesting ideas, tweaked it this and there...

Before I knew it, it was 3:00 am, I decided to stop out of sleepiness.

Today, all I've wanted all day was to fine tune it again, some more. I really enjoyed it and wanted more of this feeling. Actually, when I had 1 hour for me today, I declared I was going to relax a bit, then started tweaking again. When my gf saw my screen, she was like "I thought you'd take some time for you ?", to which I answered honestly "I am, darling".

Of course, tweaking config files is no coding, but the feeling of writing your desires and having it appear, usable, in front of your eyes is common between the two.

What's sad is that I didn't felt like this for a really long time, because this year I only coded for school, trying to be on time on every fucking project we had to hand for crazy deadlines, and not one line for a personal project...

I've wanted to write my own website for some months now, but I think yesterday and today I got the kick I needed to start. I needed to remember what it's like to take pleasure for creating and doing what you're good at.

If there is a lesson to take from this, it's to never forget to take some time for you every now and then, and do everything to remember what you love to do, not what you have to do. Your sanity relies on this.
I felt I had to share this with you guys.

I am already tired before even looking at this code.

Looking at your code makes me cry.

I can insult myself whole day but it won’t be enough to survive looking at your coding style.

If cpu could talk it would ask for heater removal because your code depresses it so much.

Looking at your code makes my monitor burn out.

Downloading your code makes my hard drive stop.

And my favorite:
You’re already good developer so now stop writing and appoint as manager / tester.

How hard can it be to make a calculator app. Apparently Microsoft cannot get it right. You might say hey, but it works already. No it does not. See in math 1-(-1)=2 because the double minus sign cancel each other and turn into a plus. Well the w10 calculator app, just does 1-1=0 and show that this is the result. Yes this is the result of one minus one. This is not the result of one minus minus one. This is basic math .... Stop focusing on the interface and code the base right Microsoft.

I have a co-worker who won’t stop “refactoring” our codebase. He will go on a long tangent — under the guise of working on a proper story — and then reveal proudly after a few days that he now introduced a new middle-layer into the code which will help us such and such.

I have never seen any benefit from this. I think sometimes cleaning up variable names is nice, but a lot of the things just add noise and complexity. He’s a junior dev, I’m a senior dev. My progressional opinion is that he is doing a bad job. Management doesn’t know the full extent and the lead programmer scolds him every now and then but in the end let’s the code changes pass code review. “It has already been implemented so what’s the harm”.

Then the rest of us are stuck with horrible merge conflicts. I recently noticed that some new business-important unit tests that I wrote were mysteriously gone. Oops — lost in some misguided refactoring I guess. I’m assuming they were failing after the refactor, so clearly they had to go... Fortunately the underlying logic still works I think.

His main tactic in all of this seems to be to just use argumentative stamina. He will lose discussion after discussion but doesn’t seem to care. He’ll just talk and talk. And the in the end the lead tech gives in. And/or doesn’t have the energy to catch the error introduced.

I swear, the company would be better off without him. Maybe even better if we keep paying him but he just cleans the toilets instead. Sometimes I almost believes he gets up in the morning to come to work and just fuck with people all day.

No, I don’t want to buy a car, Google. I just want the definition of the word, “emission”...

So me and some colleagues joined a hackathon. We already agreed on our project architecture, UI design, and features to build and showcase. Halfway through development new features kept getting added without my inputs, I said to myself it's ok maybe they're just small insertions. But nope, they kept breaking my CSS and UI design and kept causing merge issues on our repo because, well, no one could seem to agree on the project scope. The last straw was, with a couple of hours left, someone went and added new screens and changed the application flow entirely, which entailed some rather nasty rework of my code to fix. Fuck that, I decided to just stop and let them sort the mess.

When it was our turn to present our project, the fucking cunts assumed I would do all the talking - even if they never sent over the slides they put together. Why the fuck am I going to present something drastically different from the initial, agreed-upon scope? I told them to do it themselves and I remained silent throughout the entire debacle.

Of course, we lost. But I wasn't surprised. The guys who presented kept on contradicting each other and were not unified in their vision. I'm never teaming up with them ever again. Fucking asshole douchebag fucks.

If you are a mobile game developer and you make those stupid interactive ads that pop up in the middle of another game and try to make me play it. I dont like you and would sooner leave a bad review on your game for having the audacity to invade my other games. Stop it. It is the most annoying type of ad I have ever seen and actively discourages me from downloading your game. Mobile games are already basically a cancer without that horrendous experience.

Holy fucking shit are email clients bullshit.
I don't know what happened there but if you thought the chrome-firefox-ie-egde gaps back in the days were sick - let me tell you.. email clients are made by the devil himself. All of them. All of them? Yup. Because he made some of them being owned by apple, working beatuiful and no weird stuff.
But on the same end he made some of them owned by microsoft and their office Studios. They use the word engine to render html emails. Read this again. Read it without starting to cry in agony.
But thats not enough. Let's make some of them use an ie-engine and the mac os variants going to use some webkit based renderer. This way there will be no valid ruleset to make it look good on all of them, isn't this great??
Now this might be hell already. But lets pour more salt into these wide opened wounds.
Let there be Germany and United Internet, owning trash like Web.de and GMX, whose android clients going to work completely different across Android and app-versions!
Once you've mastered these, let me introduce you to gmail. Lets take only the body node of your email and do some fuck up with it, so you have to display a non-responsive variant on mobile.
Now you might be thinking "but there are web-based clients, they'll do good ain't they?" Long story short: fuck you.
Not enough.
Let's go back to ms.
Hey dude lets make it possible to scale up your whole system. So old people can read shit better. And now the funny part: let's make it so that the word rendering engine, rendering emails goes completely mayhem on your mail, so it looks like a completely different thing! (:

If you ever receive a newsletter in your inbox and that shit looks like it's planned to look like.. appreciate that shit. Sacrifice a virgin as thanksgiving for it.

TL;DR:
E-Mail needs to die. I'm doing this for over 2 years now and this shit needs to stop asap.

Around three months ago in a meeting regarding a new end2end test for a product :
PO: We have a full feature stop, only bug fixes are coming until we can unify all products.
Me : So I can use any selectors without worrying the whole thing breaks with the next update?
PO: Sure.

Last Thursday :
PO: Yeah, we gonna overhaul the entire UI with the next release to get better UX.

Why would any sane person reinvent an entire product thats already scheduled for discontinuation in 2018? And how is it possible that a few months ago nobody knew anything about it? Are they using fucking tatot cards for management decisions?

I'm in my first internship, they gave me their only company owned product. They always made interns work on that, and it's something I really appreciate (I like when people give to others any possible chance of learning)... But apparently they made a mistake: for the first year they never reviewed interns' code. And now that software is huge and full of bugs.

After two weeks working on that I said to the tech leader and to the PM that we should spent a couple of months rewriting more than half of the code, and surprisingly they listened and agreed (the TL already knew that, and the PM is not a dev and he listened to the TL).

After two days of code rewriting ("refactor" is a too weak word) the boss calls me and orders to stop, telling me basically "I agree on this decision, but not now; let's first make it work and then we make it great!".
Okay I respect that, but what he didn't understand is that the two things are strictly related!

Result: last week we had a first official release (with some client's testers, so they were expecting a few bugs) and nothing was working, so me and the tl started a really hard rewriting work (that didn't finish) and managed to release a very bade made software that works by chance.

After easter we'll keep working on this, and I think at the end it will be great.

First working experience, in two months I learned a lot (not only about code/tech).

never before have I been happy to be asked to work overtime, but for once, fuck yeah...

Bit of back story, I am tech lead on a massive project that has been run like a complete shit show, the PM who also happens to be the brains behind the project seems to think we are miracle workers and for the first 9/10 months of the project would make significant, like delete a weeks worth of code and start over changes, 3-5 times per week. There are features for the v1 release that have been built in excess of 5 times. I have been saying since October that even without all his constant changes, we will NOT make the deadline, and naturally as is part of my job I argued against every unnecessary feature he tried to implement, eventually he pulled me into a meeting to tell me how much he values my opinion, I need to stop arguing with him and he does not want to work with yes men (I have a rant about that convo already).

I believe our CEO finally started smelling a rat as he insisted on joining our daily stand-ups, during which said PM scripted some lovely stories to disguise the fuckup we are in, and since has assigned another PM to take over and do proper project management and risk analysis.

That is where the email comes in, a lot of the work assigned to me will miss the deadline by a month, honestly I am impressed that it is by so little and so few people will not be missing it, but anyway, he probably spun a few stories there too.

So I spent part of the work compiling the most perfect surgical response as not not actively throw him under the bu, but create a quite a few questions that they hopefully as, as himself and the CEO where cc'd into the mail.

And the jist is, the deadline itself was still impossible and 8 of the 10 tasks assigned to be have ZERO back-end whatsoever, and those tasks are about 80/90% integration to said non-existent back-end, some of those services and data structures have not even been planned yet and we are a week past the deadline and 3 weeks from the just as useless extension.

Well, I am not sure whether this is supposed to be about worst experience as a reviewER or a reviewEE so I'ma do both. First as a reviewer.

So, on my first project in this company, I introduced automated build scripting (read: suggested, was "volunteered" to do it, then had to bust my ads to get it done). Prior to this, our process was run the thing in Visual Studio a bunch of times (don't ask) and package the resulting files. Well, new requirements made this not sustainable.

So after many many meetings in which I assured my co-workers that the script wouldn't cock up and go sideways and format our server (HOW???) and showed them how to work it AND added all the features they requested. I finally send the script out for code review. Oh the joy. Questions like: "why did you implement this?" Came from the guy who told me to implement it. "Can you change the formatting?" I checked and no. "Why isn't this to the code standard?" Because the code standard doesn't include scripting languages.

And here is the piece that takes the whole piss soaked shitsicle pie "I don't understand why we're doing this in the first place. We have a build process already, why do we need a new one?" FUCKING REALLY?!?!? YOU WERE IN THE GODS DAMNED MEETING WHERE WE DECIDED TO DO THIS!!! SET OUT THE REQUIREMENTS!!! LITERALLY EVERYTHING TO DO WITH THIS SCRIPT YOU WERE THERE AND YOU'RE ASKING WHY WE'RE DOING IT NOW!?!?! Fucking hell. I forced it through anyway because I had the higher ups all signed off on it, but seriously. Just because we're doing something new that slightly inconveniences you, doesn't mean it doesn't need to be done. Stop being afraid of change.

Side note: these people actually would regularly hold up process and product improvement because change is scary.

Just wanted to update you guys on the status of the weather app i was working on.

I have decided to stop working on it for the time being but might return to it at a later date.

The decision was in part due to it being a fairly generic idea in a already saturated market.

Thanks for the support however and hope my next project will be as well received.

I have so much work to get done I don't even know where to start anymore. I've got 6 sites in development, 20 sites with continuing maintenance, and I'm in charge of everything IT in my office.

Today I asked if the other developer on our team could help out and take a few maintenance clients off my hands so I could work on getting builds done.

We called a team meeting where I explained my workload and pointed out that in order to make the deadline of next week on two of these builds our other developer is going to have to help out with some of the work on my plate.

Other dev: Well I've already got 3 sites that still need maintenance this month and I'm still working on $client site.

Me: Ok well today is only the 3rd so you have all month to do the maintenance on those sites, these two have to be online next week and I still have 100 hours of work to do between the two of them.

Me to CTO: can I get some backup here? Or can we hire me a monkey (my term for interns) for a couple weeks so I can focus on building?

CTO: We'll have to talk about that at our meeting next week. In the mean time, just do what you can to get the sites done and let me know if you think we aren't going to make the deadlines.

Me: That's what this conversation is, I'm telling you now, and I've been telling you for 3 weeks that we were getting close to my limit for my workload. We have approximately 175 work hours in a month, maintenance contracts alone accounts for 120 of those hours.

CTO: Alright, well if after Monday you don't think you're going to make the deadline (Thursday), then we'll see if we can find a solution.

Fuck this shit, I get paid the same whether the client is happy or not, I get paid the same whether we reach the deadline or not. I asked that salespeople stop making deadline promises before developers get to look at the scope but that's not the way we do things here. At least one of these sites is not going to be online Thursday, probably both.

Hey this is my first post on This new fitness-tracker-app community

I will tell y'all my workout :)

-programming a parser

FUCKING HELL PLEASE STOP ALREADY THIS IS THE WORST SHIT IVE EVER DONE EVERY WHERE IF STATEMENTS JUST TO CONSUME FOUR FUCKING TOKENS I DONT WANT TO DIE BUT I'D LIKE THIS PROJECT TO BE FINISHED ALREADY BECAUSE THIS IS ANNOYING AS FUCK I REALLY WANT TO KICK MY COMPUTER WHILE TELLING IT TO BE THE MOST STUPID BRAIN ON THE WORD AND THEN REMEMBERING THAT ITS NOT A BRAIN FUCK MY FUCKING FUCK HELL THEN I WOULD KILL THE PEOPLE WHO THOUGHT THAT MAKEING std::vector::end() RETURN AN ITERATOR WITHOUT ELEMENT WAS FINE AND THEN I'D KILL ALL THOSE WHO COME INTO MY ROOM THUS DISTURBING MY WORKFLOW

Enough rage.

Part of the problem, So many dev's here know the real problem with OS's governments and 3ed party apps happly spying on you and making there EULA to so called make it right for them to do it.

I want to know why so many dev's are portending this is not happen or why they not caring, you become part of the problem if your willing to work with the problem and there rules and guide lines.

WE dictate the future of tech not one company or another the people that create the software are the ones can make a difference, the users need to be educated and the dev need to take action now.

I loved this site at first but now I hate it I really do as so many posts are just blind or follow evil companies/software so on this is not how it should be, I wont accept this bull shit anymore and I not going to say quite to show the mass I going to follow them.

Step up and do something about it or stop calling yourself's dev's your part of the problem, you have the a gift and know how to help everyone do it and prove your worth.

I am really sorry I know some here do research and try and help but I rarely seeing it at the moment, things need to change, its not going to be easy but only the dev's can change this and soon, soon all OS's/software companies will get the feeling governments are on there side and governments what this so they have a back door in to WHO you are. FK the or if you have nothing to hide, EVERYONE has something to hide, compaines have already used Facebook Data to fire people working for them as they feel they shouldn't have to have someone working for them who likes or does XYZ,

Open your eyes people, small time dev's are not really included in this but big time dev's that do know how to work around these problems should be working on this to stop these problems, hardware venders are also a big problem but that's not something we can do anything about yet.

I know this rant will go on death ears to some, others will think I am over the top nut but if you really want to make a differences let's here it, lets get this world back on track, its not going to be easy but it we can do it.

I cannot remember having seen a more unethical and pushy user interface than the one of viagogo.

I'm a frustrated to close the entire tab within the first 10 seconds. It's a sad story on on how it tries to instill a sense of urgency to BOOK NOW!

100 people are looking RIGHT NOW at the YOUR offer! Stop thinking, act fast! BUY IT, YOU FOOL OR IT IS GONE!

Here, see all those other options are already sold out m( Oh look, that option over there? Just sold out in this very instant you lazy ass.

I have seen something similar on booking.com and airbnb, yet this egregious implementation truly gets my blood boiling and sets a new low.

I'll take my business elsewhere.

If you develop a web shop, treat your customers as actual adults. Let them breathe. Let them make an informed decision.

If you need to rush them, your business model is broken.

If my employer would ask me to develop something like that, I'd escalate hard. If that wouldn't suffice, I'd reject implementing that anti-feature and would look for a new job out of principle.

JUST when i thought i learned everything in X language, i accidentally discover a whole new dimension about it i never knew existed. this fucking irritates me. Fuck youuu

if you tell me i shouldn't be mad because i would just be learning more, Fuck youu tooo

i dont have infinite amount of Fucking time

I have to go forward and finish stuff and not just endlessly keep learning and learning and learning and BOOM SHIT IM 80 YEARS OLD ALREADY

Fuck youuuu

The point of fucking learning is not to continue learning even after u learned the point is to stop and apply what you learned in the real world

this is the same shit as a greedy person would chase money.

• if you gamble, you will always be poor
• if you are greedy, you will never have enough
• if you keep learning without applying, you will never do anything

Well, wasn't my mom, but once, i was in the house of the nanny of a girl i used to date..

I've told her that Im a developer and The nanny already got it like : "ok you know about cumputer and stuff related"..

So..the internet connection was shitty as fuck

She asked me to repair the internet,
I told her I didn´t know anything about network, but.. she insisted.

I said that she better call their internet company and they would explain what is the situation there..

She told me that It was unnecesary, and insisted again..

(We wera talking in the bedroom)
So i left the bedroom, then I went to fucking internet modem, unplug the power cable, then plugin it again..

The internet was still shitty, BUT, she had a placebo effect about the speed.. she was so happy with me and she started saying that I was smart.. (I wanted to kill myself)

we stop dating ..

I have just slept for a minimum of 5 hours. It is 7:47 PM atm.
Why?
We have had a damn stressful day today.
We have had a programming test, but it really was rather an exam.
Normally, you get 30 minutes for a test and 45 minutes for an exam.

In this "test" we have had to explain what 'extends' does and name a few advantages of why one should use it.
Check.
Read 3 separate texts and write the program code on paper. It was about 1 super class and 1 sub class with a test class in Java.
Check.
Task 3: Create the UML diagram of the code from above. *internally: From above? He probably means my code since there is no other code there. *Checks time*. I have about 3 minutes left. Fuck my life.*
Draws the boxes. Put the class names in each of them. A private attribute for the super class.
Teacher: Last minute!
Draw the arrow starting starting from the sub class to the super class.
Put my name on each written paper. And mentally done for the day. Couldn't finish the last task. Task 3.
During this "test", I heard the frustrations of my classmates. Seemed like everyone was pretty much pissed.
After a short discussion with the teacher who also happens to be the physics professor of a university nearby.
[If you are reading this, I hope that something bad happens to you]
The next course was about computer systems. Remember my recent rant about DNS, dhcp, ftp, web server and samba on ubuntu?
We have had the task to do the screenshots of the consoles where you proof that you have dhcp activated on win7 machine etc. Seemed ok to me. I would have been done in 10 minutes, if I would be doing this relaxed. Now the teacher tells us to change the domain names to <surnameOfEachStudent>.edu.
I was like: That's fine.
Create a new user for the samba server. Read and write directories. Change the config.
Me: That should be easy.
Create new DNS entries in the configs.
Change the IPv6 address area to 192.168.x.100-200/24 only for the dhcp server.
Change the web server's default page. Write your own text into it.
You will have 1 hour and 30 minutes of time for it.
Dumbo -ANGRY-CLIENT-: Aye. Let us first start screenshotting the default page. Oh, it says that we should access it with the domain name. I don't have that much time. Let us be creative and fake it, legally.
Changes the title element so that it looks like it has been accessed via domain name. Deletes the url and writes the domain name without pressing Enter. Screenshot. Done. Ok, let us move to the next target.
Dhcp: Change lease time. Change IP address area. Subnet mask. Router. DNS. Broadcast. Optional domain name. Save.
Switches to win7.
ipconfig /release
ipconfig /renew
Holy shit it does not work!
After changing the configs on ubuntu for a legit 30 minutes: Maybe I should change the ip of the ubuntu virtual machine itself. *me asking my old self: why did not you do that in the first place, ass hole?!*
Same previous commands on win7 console. Does not work. Hmmm...
Where could be the problem?
Check the IP of the ubuntu server once again. Fml. Ubuntu did not save when I clicked on the save button the first time I have changed it. Click on save button 10 times to make sure it really is saved now lol.
Same old procedure on win7.
Alright. Dhcp works. Screenshot.
Checks time. 40 minutes left.
DNS:It is your turn. Checks bind9 configs. sudo nano db.reverse.edu.
sudo nano db.<mysurname>.edu.
Alright. All set. It should work now.
Ping win7 from ubuntu and vice versa. Works. Ping domain name on windows 7 vm. Does not work.
Oh, I forgot to restart the bind9 server on ubuntu.
sudo service bind stop
" " " start
Check DNS server IP on win7. It looks fine.
It still doesn't work. Fuck it. I have only 20 minutes left. Samba. Let us do this!
10 minutes in. No result. I don't remember why. I already forgot why I have done for it. It was a very stressful day.
Let us try DNS again.
Oh shit. I forgot the resolver!
sudo nano /etc/resolv.conf
The previous edits are gone. Dumb me. It says it in the comments. Why did not I care about it. Fuck it.6 minutes left. Open a yt video real quick. Changes the config file. Saves it. Restarts DNS and dhcp. Closes the terminal and opens a new one. The changes do not affect them until you reopen them. That's why.
Change to win7.
Ping works. How about nsloopup.
Does not work.
Teacher: 2 minutes left!
Fuck it.
Saves the word document with the images in it. Export as pdf. Tries to access the directories of the school samba server. Does not work. It was not my fault tho. Our school server is in general very slow. It feels like they are not maintained and left alone like this in the dust from the 90s.
Friend gets the permission to put his document on a USB and give the USB to the teacher.
Sneaky me: Hey xyz, can you give me your USB real quick?
Him: sure.
Gets bombed with "do you want to format the USB?" pop-ups 10 times. Fml. Skips in a fast way.
Transfers the pdf. Plug it out. Give it back.
After this we have had to give a presentation in politics. I am done.

I think it will be hard for Facebook to recover from this.

It seems like most people can tell that it is toxic.

Of course, a heroin addict would tell you they know heroin is bad, that doesn’t mean they are gonna stop using.

So FB isn’t going anywhere (they already have their needle in a lot of veins), but I’m not sure that even the addicts will see them the same way again.

TLDR: I wanted to change email to new one, but I could not remember which one I have
currently. I found out an API in DevRant JS files for email verification and used
it to find it out.

So, I am moving from Gmail to Protonmail Pro, absolutely love their service.
I wanted to do same on Devrant but I could not figure out my current mail for
"I lost my password" form. My Password Manager have only login saved, and profile does
not show email address.

I thought that this user information is stored on server so it have to be some way to retrieve it. I dug
in source code and I've found:

`<div class="signup-title">Verify Your Email</div>`

Which has event assigned to function which uses jQuery.ajax (love it btw :D) to call:

`url: "/api/users/me/resend-confirm",`

This seems like worth a shot. Few copy-pastes and one ajax call later:

*Ding*

From: support@devrant.io
To: dawid@dawidgoslawski.pl
"Welcome to Devrant"

Got it :) So I have already changed in march when DevRant on previous layout.

This is what I love in this profession - problem solving. AI will not replace human
in any way, we will just stop coding array iterations and data manipulation - we will focus
on real problem solving and human touch (like design, convincing management for changes).

Why do people get an idea that Ctrl+Alt+[character] is a good combination for keyboard shortcuts? Just because your keyboard layout doesn't have a special character for Ctrl+Alt+Z, it doesn't mean other people don't! Did you ever stop to think that more than half buttons on your keyboard already have a Ctrl+Alt (~AltGr) binding, so maybe, just fucking maybe, other keyboard layouts could have that kind of bindings for other buttons as well? You've got 38 published works, you boast your years of experience, yet you can't fucking consider some basic real-world problems when working on a piece of software!

God I fucking hate people like these, with their PhDs and no actual hands-on experience, they're always so smug about their work and expect you to pay them millions, but fail to understand that details like those are why people pick you instead of some cheap student, and that's where their salary comes from.

[Background]
Back in September I joined a startup after my first job in MNC for about 1.8 yrs as a fresher. I always wanted to learn, but the experience in that MNC was not at all fruitful. So ai decided to join a small/mid size company or a startup. To my luck, I got in this small startup in a week after my resignation as a front-end dev (always wanted to be).
It's an automation company, so you can find software, electronics, even mechanical engineer.
The team was almost a year younger than me. It was a team of around 12 people, in which 5 of them were from Business development.

The tech team was too driven and knowledgeable. Always trying new stuffs and motivating to do the same. I was highly motivated by them in my initial days, watching them working on new stuffs.

So I started with revamping their website completely in Angular 4, and did it in around a month or so, being new to Angular. Outcome was pretty satisfactory. I wanted to work on new projects, but just to get the cashflow in they started getting in WordPress projects. It was frustrating, I wanted to work more on new technologies like Angular, React, etc...but just for the survival of the company I had to work on WordPress, so to respect their urge to get going I kept working on 3-4 projects in parallel, and mind you the clients were from hell !!

Fast-forward 4 months, I am still working on few WordPress websites, and one internal GPS based project in React. And I haven't received my salary for past 3.5 months, since the company is still struggling with the issue of funding and getting money from clients. I kinda liked working there because there was lot to learn even though they are so young, but I had bills to pay too.

And I am in dilemma to leave the company or not, because I already stretched 3 months out of good will and guilt of leaving the company in high time. So i finally let the CEO know that I cannot stick for any longer. And i was done with the false promises of getting the salary "next month" everytime. All the money getting inside of company was invested heavily on the product we were building and no one was getting the salaries. Others were fine since they were founding members too.

Long story short : I finally left immediately and now working in a good company as a React dev. I hope they do well and I would love to see them grow, but please *STOP* making false promises and hold on to employees on a lie.

Pills. Failing that, everything everyone else has said... if you find yourself procrastinating too much, get medicated.

On top of that, routine, regiment and willpower.

I started learning Russian recently, trying for the second time. This time around, I found that the small positive reward gamification elements of Dualingo to be a great help (Streaks and daily bonus BS currency).

I've also found myself using Trello to list out things I need or want to do to stop from overwhelming myself. If I have a new task or thing I need to do whilst I'm already getting something else done, I note it down and then forget about it until it's time to find something new to get done.

If all else fails, then look at yourself. Take a long, hard look at yourself in the mirror. I became good at this through necessity, after illness and injury I realised that there's no time for chronic procrastination. If your life expectancy halved what would you change and how quickly?

If you still can't fix it, I'm guessing it's not as big a problem as you think it is... enjoy yourself!

Can we just stop giving attention to Facebook already? All this media hype around it is just advertisement for them, Fuckerberg doesn't give a shit we already know that, and it's not like the senate is really gonna dish out heavy restrictions because they're too reliant on it themselves.

Don't like it? Don't make an account, don't install it, don't give it access. Simple as that.

This is just funny more then anything 😂

This guy has been fucking up non stop!

He did something incredible, we gave him precise EXACT instructions you couldn’t mistake them

What does he do? Everything wrong.

Granted what he does, works, but... it will take me hours to do what I want to do with the data, if he did it the right way, minutes!

All I wanted was all the active products for this company and their links on the site. He creates an export I can convert to google xml shopping.

What does he do? create over a 100 export buttons one for each supplier so it’s right but it’s all products for that supplier in one file.

So I can do my bit if I just combine 100 files together 😂

It’s funny because there’s already an export that does the exact thing we want just without all the right fields. This is what we asked.

He just needed to duplicate that and add more fields 😂 we think he’s doing it on purpose to be a dick 😂 no one can be that dumb.

I’m laughing cause it’s fucking ridiculous. He’s gonna get fired soon, and he knows it.

ughh here i am with an opportunity for a job (in london) and got given 3 programming tasks and my mum is surely praying so i wont get it ,i hear screamingin my head 'Nooooo!' when trying to even think about this third task , ive already done 2 ,

i really need to stop telling her about these london jobs she's witching them away , but what can ya do when i applied to more jobs here and some in manc yet i get through in londan 🤷🏼‍♀️

So today my colleague is installing new dependency to our react native project and do something cool with it.

Him: I already push it in new branch and make a pr, would you review and merge it to master.
Me: ok let me try first.
.
.
Me: it is not working, i get this error.
Him: try change these xxx in xcode.
Me: ok, wait.
.
.
Me: now I get this error
Him: hmm... Try 'react-native link xxxx'
Me: ok
.
.
Me: I get same error like first error.
Him: now try 'react-native unlink xxxx'
Me: hmm... Wait.
.
.
Me: I still get same error, what's wrong?
Him: I don't know, it's working in my mechine .

*Me 'git reset - - hard' and try to build again.
**After building

Me: hey it's working after I git reset lol.
Him: nice
Me: let me clone it and try 1 more time.

*after cloning and building
.
.
Me: I still get same error like 1st error hahaha.
Him: so try to 'react-native link xxx' again.
Me: OKkK
.
.
Me: still get same error
Him: try git reset and build again
Me: hmm
.
.
*after git reset and build again
Me: I still get same error. I think the correct steps is :
1. Clone
2. Do something in xcode
3. React native link
4. React native unlink
5. Git reset - - hard
6. Build

I can't stop laughing 😂🤣😂🤣🤣😂🤣😂

Theorem 2.71 All software is shit.

Corollary 3.14 So stop the braindead OS wars. All OS are shit, too.

Proof. The only software that can stay beautiful and clean is software that is never used. Maybe if you are Dijkstra or live in a Haskellian world, you might come away with it, but for the rest of us our artifacts have to interact with other artifacts or are build upon strange historically grown systems, they have to deal with users who will put it to creative use.. and in the process we also actually might have to alter some state.
Or put another way: code is a social construct. Like science are the beliefs and superstitions grown by a scientific community, software is the montainous dunghill produced by our laborious efforts to make shit even work. Of course this only piles the stack higher and higher until you can already smell it from the moon.

Not sure if it still counts as a 'dev' goal but for 2o19 I'd like to finally stop being a 'ooh, this is a mess, I can fix this..just one more thing and I'm done for today' person. Even my bosses tell me to go home already, so I hope this year I will be able to do just that: turn my head off and go home, do other things in life I also love.

So Thursday our first beta client is supposed to go live. Tomorrow there is a team meeting to discuss the status. Team lead wasn't in at work last Thursday and Friday and gave me his work to finish, which I need to proceed with mine. I hardly made progress on it. So now I have to tell him about that tomorrow. And I'm dreading it so hard. More so because for some reason HR/support sits in on our meetings and will be on my ass again I'm not meeting deadlines. I did say last week it looked like it wouldn't be done in time but I was told it just needs to happen because the release date was already announced. So yeah the coming week is going to suck. And I'm on leave myself this coming Friday so I expect people to explode. I know I should just stop caring and get on with job searching but the whole injustice of being set up for failure by others and then being blamed really makes me mad.

Any tips to stop getting pissed at your designer's design?

I was given a frontend task after so long (I'm a backend developer who has frontend experience) and the design is very good except architecture wise it's very difficult to build. It's not impossible, but it's very tricky to implement.

Our client has already approved the design, so I guess there's nothing I can do about it
But I am getting constantly annoyed when implementing the design. Whenever I look at the design, I feel like swearing all the time. I feel the designer is very inconsiderate. The design looks very good at big desktop screen, but some part looks dumb in responsive or tablet.

Does anyone ever feel the same? And maybe have tips for me to get by?

My managers have started telling me to stop saying "it's difficult" or "it's too hard". But it is difficult! And I am getting more annoyed when they tell me that.

Whenever I tell the designer that certain part is not gonna work (because we try to make things general so we can reuse), he will argue and somehow ended up saying "come on, just think how prideful you will be after implementing this".

Fucking recruiters.... Let's waste a bunch of fucking time by telling me all about a company I've already talked to. Stop playing stupid ass cloak dagger games of "I'd tell you my client but it's a secret... You might go it alone"

When you start a new game and you can't stop your dev brain and just enjoy the damn game and play it as it is!!!!

Grabbed this baby up the minute i had a chance to. Being the dev that i am, already thinking of doing something to optimize my calendar confidant(social links)-wise.

I mean i have the list of confidanfs, the date they start and the days they are available. All i need is a tool that can take all these in, apply some scheduling algorithm, and churn out a calendar!!!

In my school, We started learning computer science (Java and programming stuff, to be more specific) last year in 11th standard (I was 16 at that time), starting to learn programming and stuff like this are common in India at that age (Yes, I live in India). I m the only student in my class or in my school who knows about programming and things related to that, yes of course I know, I made my own game when I was around 12 y.o.

In school our teacher started teaching us everything from the most beginning, It was really boring and exciting at the same time for me, it was exciting because I always wanted to tell my teacher and friends about my game and other programming kinds of stuff I knew, and it was boring bcoz I had to learn those things again which I already knew.
It was obvious that I was getting good marks in the subject without even reading my book for once, and it really amazed my friends, classmates and even my teacher.

Now, since my friends have learned CS for 1 year, some of them thinks its nice and are fascinated by the world of programming and developers, and some of them think it's boring and they just need to pass the subject for good marks and nothing else.

It feels funny and bad at the same time when some of my friends come to me and ask what does a for-loop (any loop) even does... And the rest of them thinks a for-loop is just used for printing tables of numbers.

well, that's the story of my school.
The thing that will never change is that I love programming and I will never stop programming...

Thanks for stopping by Ranters,
Happy programming!

My housemate (we are college students) once said he was finding it weird his name wasn't in the list of students to take the exam of a programming subject he had but he couldnt find a reason to explain it.
A few days later he came into my room frustrated as hell but laughing at the same time. "I have to stop taking headphones to class... I've figured it out. I failed already for being absent because when the teacher registered the students present I had my headphones on e every time and couldn't hear him..." 😂😂😂

i wrote a log-analysis tool into our product just this week so i dont have to search manually any more because our fucking testers (and client devs) keep opening issues on the servers kanban board that are definitely client problems. THATS A WHOLE OTHER DEPARTMENT HALF WAY ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE COUNTRY. Stop. Fucking. Issue. Ping. Ponging. you. fucktards. I ALREADY COMMENTED THE FUCKING LOGS 4 TIMES. why in devils beautiful name do you keep copying the same 10 issue descriptions again and again to our fucking backend? i fucking told you often enough. "HTTP 200" MEANS FUCKING "OK". NOT "INTERNAL SERVER ERROR"! NOT "BAD REQUEST"! IT MEANS "OK". get that in your fucking brain, you twat. next time dont send me the same post request another 20 times and it may happen that the server does not have your fucking image 20 times instead of once. IT IS NOT HARD TO DO A "if(status == 200) return;"! JUST. DO. IT. i'm friends with all three tier 1 sysadmins. they are already salty enough because you keep breaking the buils in jenkins so now fuck off and get your shit together or i'll ask them to lock your fucking account for jira, dumbass

Arg! Learn to debug for your bleeding self you are supposed to be a bunch of senior developers it's the same bloody issues all the freaking time. So I create a step by step guide what buttons to click what text to enter because I'm so f***ing through with the same issues you bug me with day in day out! A 12 year old with no computing knowledge can follow the guides yet you don't even bother reading it half the time or choose to completely miss steps out and bug me with your issues.

Damn it why do I bother you bunch of ass hats get paid more than me too I know it!

!dev
when one of your best domains were taken for a long time and you didn't considered about buying or hijacking it or even thought about what you would even do with it because its taken anyway and you are not an asshole. But then out of nowhere you get an offer to get this domain. and you start thinking... what cool project you could do with it and what it may becomes - and what if your project fails and you wasted a great domainname... but ofcurse you stuggle for too long and the old owner bought it already back again, like he just forgot to renew it and didnt even cared about it that much.

congratulations. you now cant stop thinking about this cool project and what it could may be. instead you see someone else wasting it...

as if dev life is not depressing enough. back to localhost :(

stop including your vendors and build artifacts in git!!!!

I am looking at you JS guys...

Yesterday's was fucking stupid.

It all begins with a fucking online clothes shop that "cancelled" my order from a week ago because "PayPal detected strange account movements". I logged into my PP Account and no notice or whatsoever of that.

Then they tell me I'll have to wait around for ~30 days to get my money back. Are you fucking damn serious? First you delay my fucking order a week then you cancel it without contacting me to "reassure" I put the order and then you say that I'll have my money back on 30 days? Fuck you.

Thereafter, I was going to buy a new phone, which two weeks ago I already went to request a quotation and they told me I was ready to go with paying 50% off.

Well... fuck me, because I went yesterday and they told me that I couldn't get the phone becase "The system says you already have three lines with our company, and all of those have money due" What? Fucking shit, I went two weeks ago and everything was fine, and now this? I don't even have an account in that stupid company and now they tell me I have three with late payments?

FUCKING HELL!!

As if everything wasn't going bad already, I went off and said I'll come back today to see "if the system has been corrected", so I went to grab a burger at McDonalds that's on my way back home.

I make my order and the cashier is like "Hurr durr.. The card terminal doesn't work, do you have cash? If not, don't worry I can cancel the order and switch to the other station so i can charge you"

ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS? I mean, come on dude! If you know that the shitty card terminal doesn't work and the station that it's fully functional it's literally three fucking steps next to you, WHY THE FUCKING FLYING FUCK ARE YOU USING THE WRONG ONE?

Then I wait for my order, that I saw they prepared and was ready like in 5 minutes, but the guy went and stood looking at the void. Then he realizes and begins to pick my food and set it up. He puts it on a tray and stands there, I stand there looking at him.

"My order was to go" I said... then he's like "Oh, yeah" and begins to pack.

Dude... the order is in the fucking screen, I said the cashier that It was to go... jesus.

Then I tell him "Can you put some sweet mustard packages?"
"Yeah" he says... but I looked away. When I arrived home, I opened the bag and... FUCKING HELL, NORMAL MUSTARD.

I told him twice, even said "please" and "thank you", but hell no, he had ONE JOB, and he didn't do it.

Seriously guys, stop this fucking mess, somebody call `kill`

Nobody likes chatbots/conversational UI for anything other than chat, right?

I have a savings app with conversational UI. I press one of a number of options e.g. "Savings". There's this artificial delay after the network request has been made so that it looks like the app is typing back at you. Why???

You then get another limited set of options, or you can tap "Back". These options are supposedly as if you typed it back as a response.

I can get three "questions" (levels) deep, let's say to deposit cash, only for it to turn around and say that I've reached a daily/weekly limit? At each level there's this awful delay, and you already knew I wouldn't be able to perform the action regardless of my responses after my very first "message"!

Why is this good/popular? And the whole thing totally breaks if there's any loss of connectivity.

Stop it. Please.