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Most embarrassing and lucky moment on the first week of job.
Me and my best friend were selected in the same company as developers. I was having some trouble with my system. So I mailed the description to our support department. Pop up was displayed from our chat client and person on the other end happened to be a lady. She wanted me to share a team viewer link with click access. So I did it and within 2 minutes of efforts she solved it. I thanked her, closed the chat conversation and started installing few packages. Meanwhile, I was curious to see her as she was really nice throughout the conversation. So I opened LinkedIn, searched for her name and found her profile. I zoomed in her photo and she was a pretty chick. I didn't stop and found her on FB too, and quickly saw all her DPs. I just copied her profile URL and sent it to my friend ( the one that got selected with me ) and told him about my conversation with her. Then I asked my friend
"She's hot. Should I send her a friend request or have to find some more troubles in my pc and talk to her few more times ? :P "
He replied "Dude what are you wanting for ? "
Out of no where, a pop up showed up. It was the girl we were talking about. The exact message was
"You can now close your team viewer session, and we can talk over FB :)"
Embarrassing AF!30 -
I was a freshman in highschool when I encountered the book entitled "Teach Yourself Visual Basic 6 in 21 Days"
I loved that book so much that it took me 4 years to finish it.8 -
We must develop and test our code
...via VirtualBox...
...running Windows XP...
...using IE...
..with vanilla Javascript...
...help me...19 -
"EMINEM!"
An intern just called me Eminem! This is hilarious. People have told me I talk fast in the past but this is the first time my talking has been considered as rapping😛36 -
Client wants a beautiful webpage ASAP.
I just discovered the perfect CSS that will magically fix all of their problems:
body {
display : none ! important;
}
The best part is that its mobile friendly by default.
After all,
Simplicity is key 😉12 -
So I have a crush on a co-worker, she is also a dev. She is very cute despite her simplicity. I really wanted to talk to her, but I can't start a normal conversation with her. My mind just goes haywire.
BUT, just in case she is also on devRant:
If you happen to be reading this, I am the guy seated opposite the other table, we are facing each other. I liked you ever since the company outing. You are very cool and I want to spend more time with you.
:)44 -
I just helped one of our cleaners get Internet since the management whitelisted devices that can get WiFi access.
I believe that anyone, regardless of position, must have equal access to the resources in this company.11 -
*Me and my workmates laughing and having fun before going home*
Me: Hey, do you want to hear a joke?
Workmate 1: What is it?
Me: Look at your code.
...
...
...
Other workmates: BURRRRRNNNN!!!!5 -
Bugfixing rule of thumb,
if I can't find the cause of it immediately, it might be a complicated one
if I still can't find the cause after an hour, it might be a VERY complicated one
if I still can't find the cause after 2+ hours, it MUST be caused by a silly mistake4 -
Life story of every Dev in nutshell :
Everything is working perfectly as expected and no body congratulates Dev and no one gives a shit.
Single thing is broken and the whole universe be like : "Where the fuck is that son of a b*tch? Bring that bastard in front of me right now."
😡😡😡😡6 -
Boss assigned me a task on Google Docs:
Boss: "Please remove this line"
Me: "What!? You're already there! How hard is it to fucking select the fucking sentence with your fucking touchpad and press the fucking delete key on your fucking keyboard!? Why assign me with such a fucking waste of time and fucking trivial task!?"17 -
The superpower to perform version control on reality. (Git)
Imagine this universe (the current branch), which is made up of a series of events (commits).
Having this ability to allows us to:
- undo events (git reset/git revert)
- reorder events (git rebase)
- transfer to another universe (git checkout)
- derive a new universe from current universe (git checkout -b)
- delete a universe (git branch -D)
- apply an event from another universe (git cherry-pick)
and my favorite:
- merge universes and their events (git merge)
we have to resolve conflicting events, of course.
What else? ;)8 -
My professor once asked us to brainstorm a good topic for our IT seminar/workshop.
I suggested version control using Git.
She simply shrugged it off. She said she needed a topic that the class can use. WTF.1 -
I normally don't post silly things, hoping I can restrict myself to only do so on rare occasions #shortweeksilly
3 -
Our html:
<input type="number"/>
Accepts only numbers, so far so good. Until QA files a bug:
"Numeric input accepts the letter 'e' "
Apparently 'e' is a valid because you can input something like '1e3' which fucking means '1000' !
Our team tried to argue with the QA that 'e' is valid because it simply means exponent but they argue a normal user would not know what an exponent means because they are not "mathematically inclined"
Part of me agrees with what the QA argues but then I think an average user who could use a fucking laptop or mobile will most certainly know what an exponent is.13 -
Best productivity hack? It's not even a hack- just using an IDE with some level of real time syntax analysis. I know WAY too many people that use a text editor and command line compiling, which is great, and things you should know before going into an IDE that does most of it for you (know your underlying processes!!!), but they could save SO much time if they'd use an IDE or even good plugins... or even good editors. GEdit? Come on now..18
-
"Put aside your ego, it's the worst problem with programmers" -My mentor
I tend to help others and contribute with courtesy, putting my ego aside and listening to others' suggestions at all times, no matter how potentially silly they are4 -
Started a new job. Love the people. Love the place. Files are still moved to prod by hand via windows explorer to prod web servers 😳10
-
I can finally play the role of my adversaries:
I will be that Client who makes unreasonable deadlines and unrealistic demands.
Let us see how the A.I. devs can keep up with me ;)2 -
My humble localhost; all powered by a beast of a MacBook, i7 4960, GT750 2G, 1TB SSD, running OS X with Win10 and Ubuntu via Parallels with their own screens. Makes for a fun time!
20 -
I know python , JS, java etc. Some might know php, some others might swift and so on.. but the only language understood by everyone all over the globe is this 😂(wait for it to load, and you will believe what I'm saying :P )
11 -
Guys try installing Termux. Its Linux for Android. It comes with its own version of Apt package manager. Using this opens up alot of possibilities ;)
11 -
Interviewer:
Here is a pen and paper. Now code in front of me your answer from the preliminary exam.5 -
about one and a half years ago I wrote my first application ^-^
it generates a little christmas tree with lights on the CLI.
and I still feel the same joy as back then when something actually works out :)
9 -
Me: I'm gonna be productive today. Will complete this task in one hour!
*starts coding enthusiastically*
After two minutes...
*facebook*
*cat video*
Awwwww
*dog video*
Lol heheh!
*cute kittens n puppies*
Heh, silly cat
*more cats, dogs*
*accidentally notices the time*
Crap! 1.5 hours gone waste....7 -
Client: We need a news app.
Me: Sure, tell me more about it.
Client: Yeah, have you used Daily Hunt, I want that! Just in different colors.
Me: ...6 -
Craziest deadline I've ever had...
Task: Patch 193 machines
Environment:
- no configuration/patch management
- no knowledge of the machines
- no contact info/application owners
...timeframe...do it today!
Here's the winner...do we have credentials for these machines? Ha, nope.6 -
This is one of the most unexpected, silly and ridiculous behaviors of MySQL: it doesn't support LIMIT in sub-queries, however it perfectly supports it in sub-sub-queries. WTF.
10 -
Ubbhhhh <<-- me when I realized I put gmail.con instead of gmail.com for my devRant account.
It's been actually quite a while since I'm here but couldn't do anything but read others rants since I never got the confirmation email because of that silly mistake.
It's now my chance to say hi to everyone 🤗10 -
++-ing a random rant from the feed is like a one night stand whereas subscribing to a user's rant is like a long term relationship!57
-
Can you add Braille to the website for blind users.
(It was a silly request, not thought out. Yes I made fun of them after asking how would they go about it if they were to try. Maybe they were tired, but it is true to wk75) 😊6 -
Linux devs, can you please stop giving your apps and utilities esoteric names? If you have to name your software after a character from Greek mythology because you're feeling edgy, at least make the first thing on the GitHub project page a description of what your software does.15
-
When you email your boss and his emails keep on reminding you how expensive his phone was.
"Sent from my iPhone"3 -
BUILD SOMETHING!
It doesn't matter what. It doesn't matter if it gets used. It doesn't matter what language. It doesn't matter what framework. Just build something ~anything~ that could somewhat (even just a little bit) relate to ANYTHING real world. Small never-used .NET web app hosted on a .azureblahblah.com subdomain? DO IT! Django / Python portfolio site on Heroku? DO IT! New JavaScript library that does something other libraries already do? DOOO IT. Literally just build something. Show that you can go from 0 to complete using something modern on your own with your own time and determination. That is what companies want.7 -
Good morning everyone (atleast for my Time Zone), god bless you all !
been following my morning silly brain for 3 hours to write an 8086 assembler CPU and RAM emulator. after 1 hour of debugging, time to polish it and refactoring.
7 -
Product team having a proof of concept demo with client:
Sales to client: "Just for the record, we are not selling this to a rival company. Because we really want this technology exclusive to you"
Me (thinking to myself): "Oh really? We just had a demo with them last 2 weeks"
One of the core values of our company is Integrity, and I am not just seeing it.1 -
So my teammate posted on our Slack channel:
^(?=.{1,254}$)(?=.{1,64}@)[-!#$%&‘*+\/0-9=?A-Z^_`a-z{|}~]+(\.[-!#$%&'*+\/0-9=?A-Z^_`a-z{|}~]+)*@[A-Za-z0-9]([A-Za-z0-9-]{0,61}[A-Za-z0-9])?(\.[A-Za-z0-9]([A-Za-z0-9-]{0,61}[A-Za-z0-9])?)*$
Then our manager asked him: "Are you swearing on Slack!?"
No sir, thats Regex.4 -
I raise my middle finger:
- to the past developers of this 4 year old piece of garbage project that we are maintaining, who thought that using StringBuffers to construct html documents as a Http response as a good idea
- to the bosses and managers, who keeps on giving unreasonable deadlines yet passes accountability to others.
I gave you all a Linus Torvalds style fuck you!!
That is it, I decided to resign -
Friend: 'I have an idea you could totally do: a search engine for travellers that searches hostels, hotels, flights and resteraunts'
Me: 'yeahh I'm currently working on an e-commerse website. Should keep me.busy for a while'
Friend: 'integrate it into your website, it'd be silly not to'
Do people think we just click 'integrate idea' button for a living??!
Seriously the fux3 -
Taking 30 minutes to write a function that I later found in the standard library of the language. Silly me. 😓4
-
Client's API returns a very weird response that changes its structure depending on its content.
When a array field has more than 1 children it returns:
{
"field" : [
{ "name1" : "value1"},
{ "name2" : "value2"}
]
}
So far so good. However, the fuckery happens when it has 1 children:
{
"field" : { "name1" : "value1"}
}
WTF! So the client API can return either a JSON object or an array and we cant trust the specs they gave us.6 -
I realized I've need a hobby other than sitting in front of the computer all day.
What non-developer things do you love to do? :)41 -
!rant
Developers aren't just resources that you "utilize".
We are human beings with thoughts, aspirations, creativity, hopes and fears.
Your position doesn't make you entitled to treat others less.3 -
I appreciate all of your suggestions to improve devRant but I've a counter suggestion to make. Please do not post silly ideas. We should not try to make this community another Facebook or Twitter. Let's keep it simple and plain. We're better than non-dev users in many ways.5
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She : You spend your whole day with your stupid computer ! That dumb machine is more important to you than me. We are done 😡
Me : Babe, I swear to God, you'll always be number one on my priority list.
She : Aww.. love you so much 😚
Me in mind : This must be the reason behind foundation of 0 index for Devs.1 -
1. Pre-sales to Client: We can develop 200 APIs with 10 developers in 9 months.
2. Client: Ok! Cool, its a deal.
-- Sprint starts --
3. Actual: We are 6 developers, commited (or sold out) to make 200 APIs in 9 months.
Fucking pre-sales.3 -
I wanted to contribute to open source but don't have the time due to a client project.
So what I did was develop an open source library, uploaded it as a public repo, then use that on our client project.
As a bonus, I can reuse that library for similar projects. Haha!2 -
I'm handling this super complex engine development just fine, but I get stuck on silly stuff like preparing the .md file.
18 -
!rant
Discovered Dribbble.com today. What an absolutely wonderful resource for so many difference design pieces and animations. Wow. Very impressed.3 -
Got my first dev job! Best part of the year! Happy to report that I absolutely love it too! Go devs!2
-
Easy. Was creating a website for a client and they asked if we could add "those, what do you call them? Yeah cliparts" to the website.
Cliparts? Really? Those silly cartoon things from MS Office?5 -
So I just receieved a rude email from my client as candidates cannot register on his system. He is adamant that the system I built doesn't work........until he found out that candidates are silly and not reading notifications written in h1 with a font size of 33px that states "Please check your email to activate your account".......
FUCK SAKE READ PEOPLE.... READ!2 -
[Begin Rant] When you show your senior manager your REST Web Service and he says "Oh no nooo... I don't wanna see no code"... Me: Code?? That ain't code you fat silly fucker it's the command line output data which I spent a week parsing, batch processing, and storing into the database! [End Rant] :[4
-
from phone import Camera
from animals import Python
camera = Camera()
python = Python()
camera.take(python)
camera.showImage()
4 -
Rant::aboutMyself(my_code){
Wrote 500+ lines of code without proper documentation. Got 200 little bugs. Got frustrated. Gave up on code. Started documenting it. Step by step. Resolved many silly mistake while documenting the code. Completed documentation. Run the program . Bugs reduced to 10. I'm sooo happy. I LOVE DOCUMENTATION 😍
}2 -
Is it only me who gets screwed up by such silly little things?
Last night I was working on an Android app. I connect it to a URL. It always threw exception. I scratched my head for one whole hour to find out that Cellular Data was not turned ON on the emulator. 😛1 -
We (as new hires) had to add a fallback logic for input validation on every input element using only JSP and Spring controllers just because the client still uses IE6 and fucking disables Javascript!!7
-
Signed up on Trello, got everything set up there and everyone has an account.
But my dear PM, why the hell are you still sending out a screenshot of your bloody spreadsheet bug tracker and ask everyone for updates????
Fellow devRanters how do I get (force) my PM to use a project management system instead of silly tables?12 -
In an age of GitHub and cloud computing, how can a freelance dev using their own laptop be classed as a security risk?
These crude rules laid down by corporate IT depts just make companies look silly.1 -
So we are having lunch on a normal day when our boss announced that one of our clients are visiting and our boss is telling us to standby and act like we are working so that the clients will see us in action.
WTF!? Is this company *that* desperate!? Then they should hire actors not developers2 -
+ “I’m drunk, but I can still drive.”
+ “I’m tired, but I can still finish this piece of code.”
+ " I don’t need a silly seatbelt.”
+ “Tests? Naw, I’ll just push this to the Master branch.”2 -
Today at work I found this in the code...
if (argCount < 2 && argCount > 3) {
// log invalid arg count
return;
}
And this passed code inspection and has been sitting there unnoticed for about a year and a half... 😂
Whether it's mixing up and with or, or forgetting a semicolon, we've all done it at some point! 😊7 -
*working in android with manager who doesn't know android*
Me:"we need to establish different intents for x and y to get the job done"
Manager:"i dont need you deciding what I intend to do"
.... thats not what I meant by intent -
Absolutely detest some devs push their advertisement as fucking VIDEO in mobile webpage. There goes my monthly data quota for that silly ads. Fucking unethical.5
-
my boss gives me a 15 page list of changes to a web app yesterday. this afternoon he tells me forget all the silly things I'm doing, which just happen to be core functionality, and work towards getting it live.
wtf do you think I am doing... -.- -
Programming in C is basically coming to grips with the fact that all of the program execution time you save by not using a higher level language costs quite a bit of manual labor time in making sure the math on your array and pointer indexing is PERFECT. *sigh* somebody give me a beer..3
-
WHY Atom, when I explicitly select a suggestion do you NOT ACTUALLY AUTOCOMPLETE THE SUGGESTION ?
I have configured so many fucking settings to try to avoid this why is it that I have to explicitly select my option 3 and 4 times before you ACTUALLY auto fill it.
I use you specifically FOR the auto complete function and you FUCK ME OVER ON IT.
I can just not seem to find a text editor or IDE that doesn't annoy the shit out of me one way or the other13 -
Silly and stupid me.
Woke up.
Check phone. Check devRant.
Saw Trogus's filter update post.
Happy and left a comment.
Went to playstore and update.
Open devRant and use the feature.
Tried to filter only Rants and Questions type.
Happy and went back to sleep again bcz Saturday.
Continue the rest of day with other stuffs.
Use devRant again.
"Huh why the heck is the first post about some random quote?"
"Why the hell is second post meme"
"Why...why...why"
Check filter feature again.
Facepalm.
Silly me and stupid my eyes and useless my brain is not worthy for good and clean UIUX.4 -
I keep wondering if there’s a case of someone stealing another’s rant. And what the other person would say to the thief.
“You stole my rant” or “That was suppose to be my rant” or something along that line.
😅6 -
If an ai becomes depressed, does it encapsulate itself for better \Closure?
*insert thinking dinosaur* -
I was debugging a new version of a calendar web app I've created, and was puzzled when the code for rendering calendar events was never hit...Till I realized, there are no calendar events this week in the dev environment. Silly me! *LOL*1
-
I got my first computer when I was in 3rd grade. I don't know yet how to search for web pages. What I would do is take a keyword/topic and prepend "http://www" and append ".com" to it.
So if I wanted to search for games I would type "http://www.games.com" on the URL.
Sometimes it works, most of the time I land on some familiar 'buy this domain' web page -
Client wants a webapp where every label on all form inputs are configurable, even the fucking login form ("Login" and "Password" text)
They also want it to send emails where the message is configurable too (they can insert your own HTML)
so basically they want the entire fucking webapp to be configurable, all without requiring any code change.
I could use a "configurable" torture device right now.9 -
I was talking with some of my co-workers about the rise of all these package managers (and one I came across for Windows), and this thought occurred in my silly head:
-
I spend the whole day decoding Assembly code for special formulas that we require for a current project.
And the client doesn't have them anywhere else.
There's only that old desktop application - written in assembly.
My Pc and I never felt so close before...
If it sounds like it was fun, it wasn't.
NOT. AT. ALL.2 -
PM : Develop this new feature. Client needs it tomorrow. And be sure it works perfectly well.
Dev : haha how can it work without bug if it's developed in a day ?
Poor dev got transferred to support department :(
4 -
Lays down to go to sleep.
*beep* new urgent help request.
Hmm, bet it's something silly, better check anyway......
Whole servers down....
How fun 😔1 -
Let's play a game.
I'm almost 30. (Like +1 or -1 to 30)
Are you older than or younger than me? Just answer "older or younger" is fine.
I'll reply my impression of our age difference truthfully.
For example, I have an impression that dfox is older than me but trogus is younger. (I seriously don't know their bio, couldn't bother to check out 😬)85 -
Developing a notification API, sends emails to subscribers, email API can take only 100 IDs at once, so partitioned the email list and send mails in blocks of 100.
Forgot to reset the list after every block, so each new partition got appended to the existing list and kept going on.
Ran it against a test DB, which was recently refreshed with near-prod data !!! Thousands of emails went out of the app server in one shot and everybody receiving numerous duplicate emails. Especially the ones in the very first partition.
Got an incident raised by the CEO himself reg the flurry of emails. But, things were out of our hands, quite literally. All emails are queued up in the exchange server.
Called up the exchange server team, purged the queued emails. No other emails were sent/received during this whole episode.
Thanks to Iterables.partition in the present day.3 -
It bothers me when potential employers *require* a salary expectation in your application. It's like they're focusing on the wrong parts. I don't even consider places that do that, no matter how cool the job sounds. Remember kids, in negotiations, the first one to mention a number loses.5
-
The pc in the bottom left is my gaming rig. The silly one at the right is from my preteen years i use it as server now. My laptop doesn't have dvi, so I can use the left monitor for gaming only😊
2 -
Don't you just hate *silly* password restrictions? Surely there is a very limited number of possibile passwords
On top of this their "password prompt" says passwords are between 6 and 10 characters...
1 -
We are forced to work on weekends because the management and the project manager loves to kiss the ass of our clients. I was even scolded by working from home.
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.
ITS NOT FUCKING FAIR THAT WE HAVE TO SUFFER AND SHOULDER THEIR INCOMPETENCE IN MANAGING THIS FUCKING PROJECT.
Damnit. God Damnit.5 -
My CTO uses an array instead of objectto keep list of items with random numerical keys. I told him you’re creating multiple unintended undefined members in between, he said: yeah that’s how silly JavaScript is :-|2
-
Anyone else feel this 50/50 male/female work melarky is just silly. Most programmers are men. It shouldn't be more complex then that. Most beautitions are women. Nothing wrong with work being gender dominated... imo20
-
PM pushed me to finish all of my tasks last friday because he told me we have a demo with the client this week. He even asked me to OT.
It is already fucking thursday and I am still waiting. I haven't heard any updates from our PM.
I feel pissed because I did my task crudely due to "imaginary deadlines" imposed by this son of a bitch PM. I could have written a better code if I have this week as the deadline instead.1 -
So I was waiting on a mysqldump for over a halfhour wondering why it was taking way to fcking long.
But then I saw I typed mysql -u user -p database > dump.sql
Instead of using the mysqldump command xD at moments like this you realize how important sleep is xD -
Super excited to have gotten the rare opportunity to completely re-write an old VB WinForms application instead of just hacking in functionality. Still has to be WinForms for various reasons, but getting to build it with MVP, separated concerns, testable logic, TDD, and not using in line SQL makes me feel like a pioneer of an old code base 😎
Actually, the biggest challenge is porting over the old functionality so it works the same! Nobody at the company was around when it was built so going from the code up (instead of outlining functionality first then making code) is difficult, but still worth it!
Shout out to all the other times we've had to hack in functionality to SHITTY code bases.... sometimes the re-write comes!!
Now I just need to not fuck it up 😅4 -
I've been trying to keep busy while out of work for the last month, so I built a silly little Flask app that generates Cards Against Humanity answer cards using Markov Chains. I called it Chains Invent Insanity. http://chainsinventinsanity.com6
-
I wonder
Why programmers are containing tons of guy while the first programmer in the world is a woman 😂
P.s : don't take it too seriously15 -
Me: *Making a very trivial suggestion, that every person with 1 working eye and 1 functional lobe can come up with*
Corporate managers: *Ponder. Verify competitors didn't implement it yet*. Great idea! let's patent it!4 -
just started a holiday project. creating a silly game using Processing 2. finally done with day 1 drawing, and baselining.
1 -
class Resume(resume.generic)
skills.append("commit messages include expletives.")
def __str__(self):
return "Hire Me."1 -
@Apple: I would just about kill for you to come out with dark mode for default OS X apps: safari, messaging, etc.
PS. Please don't drop the Mac Pro line.
PPS. If you do, please open OS X up to install on any machine 😘1 -
@dfox @trogus : Do we have a feature of auto complete @ mentions ? If not, there can be an elegant feature to provide drop down suggestions to mention / tag user in comments after we type @ in comments of any rant ( not all the users , but author of the rant and those who previously commented on that particular rant previously. For example, if I commented on a rant of dfox, and trogus also comments and types @, me and dfox will be in the drop down, tapping on which will select and tag that user on that comment ). I bet users will love this devRant update. Sorry for long post , I don't have any potato :p5
-
When you realize that the solution for a bug in your code is putting
if (somecondition)
but then you put
if (!somecondition) by mistake and try to figure out why is the bug still there :-(1 -
Project Manager: "C++ has become much better for embedded now so we're gonna use it in the new project."
Me: "I didn't C that coming."
I know it's silly but I'm proud of it 🤓1 -
What's the best way to run MS Office from Linux? Cloud based, native with wine/play on linux, or a native suite? I don't want to run a VM just for office.
I've tried Libre Office but it doesn't format well for my college professors, and office online works but it's not as quick plus you need the online connection.
Would something like WPS Office be my best option if I wanted a native solution that looked and felt like office with the best level of compatibility?14 -
Working on an Android app for a client who has a dev team that is developing a web app in with ember js / rails. These folks are "in charge" of the endpoints our app needs to function. Now as a native developer, I'm not a hater of a web apps way of doing things but with this particular app their dev teams seems to think that all programming languages can parse json as dynamically as javascript...
Exhibit A:
- Sample Endpoint Documentation
* GetImportantInfo
* Params: $id // id of info to get details of
* Endpoint: get-info/$id
* Method: GET
* Entity Return {SampleInfoModel}
- Example API calls in desktop REST client
* get-info/1
- response
{
"a" : 0,
"b" : false,
"c" : null
}
* get-info/2
- response
{
"a" : [null, "random date stamp"],
"b" : 3.14,
"c" : {
"z" : false,
"y" : 0.5
}
}
* get-info/3
- response
{
"a" : "false" // yes as a string
"b" : "yellow"
"c" : 1.75
}
Look, I get that js and ruby have dynamic types and a string can become a float can become a Boolean can become a cat can become an anvil. But that mess is very difficult to parse and make sense of in a stack that relies on static types.
After writing a million switch statements with cases like "is Float" or "is String" from kotlin's Any type // alias for java.Object, I throw my hands in the air and tell my boss we need to get on the phone with these folks. He agrees and we schedules a day that their main developer can come to our shop to "show us the ropes".
So the day comes and this guy shows up with his mac book pro and skinny jeans. We begin showing him the different data types coming back and explain how its bad for performance and can lead to bugs in the future if the model structure changes between different call params. He matter of factually has an epiphany and exclaims "OHHHHHH! I got you covered dawg!" and begins click clacking on his laptop to make sense of it all. We decide not to disturb him any more so he can keep working.
3 hours goes by...
He burst out of our conference room shouting "I am the greatest coder in the world! There's no problem I can't solve! Test it now!"
Weary, we begin testing the endpoints in our REST clients....
His magic fix, every single response is a quoted string of json:
example:
- old response
{
"foo" : "bar"
}
- new "improved" response
"{ \"foo\" : \"bar\" }"
smh....8 -
Get a DateTime. Convert to a string. Convert back to a DateTime. Use that DateTime to build a string.
WHY.
(it's red because I refactored it; snipped copied from our version control)
3 -
If I'm writing an app which has the sole purpose of receiving some data from a server, then sending some other data back (so nothing is stored locally) - what sort of stuff do I write tests for?
Client wants lots of testing to occur, but all of the tests I can think of wouldn't add any value -
How do you guys motivate yourself to finish private side projects?
This is merely a rant about my incompetence to stay motivated until I finished a project just for and by myself... Most of the time I start coding until I figured out how it works and then mostly never touch it again. And this is fucking silly16 -
When your customer calls you out and asks why "such and such" data wasn't copied over to the other two instances.
Then, thinking of course that it must be my fault: *research begins*
Reply to customer:
Your boss sent me an email that listed data points to *not* copy over, the item in question being one of them.
BAM!! ....developers: 1 customer: 02 -
That security bug they just discovered in macos high sierra where you can login as root w/o a pwd, i just had to laugh thinking its something like this:
if true ## environment == :development
skipPassword()
😂2 -
Uninstalling Visual Studio is a mess. It'll leave behind hundreds of silly component, which is funny because the main reason I started the process was to clean up a possibly corrupt installation. It also left behind a Docker tool component, which I can't uninstall cause that installer needs VS itself :D1
-
Hmm Monday morning and no Internet..
How do I stack overflow my "programming"?
Just kidding, Mobile Hotspot ftw.2 -
Explain to me what is in the 1.6Gb Adroid Studio download because I've spent the last 3 nights downloading a gazillion extra things over my 28 kbps satellite connection and I still have not managed to actually do anything yet.
Silly me, I thought if I get the Studio with SDK bundle that would be enough. Sigh.19 -
Our team (devs and QAs) have been doing a series of overtime work.
So, the company has provided us a place to sleep. Everyday, we would go to work at 10AM and then return to our place to rest at 12 midnight (sometimes at 2AM).
We've been doing this for a week now and we'll resume again tomorrow.
I already feel exhausted, and I was thinking of resigning after all of this mess was over.
However, I am having second thoughts. Since this is my first job, I have no point of comparison.
Perhaps a series of overtime like this one is normal? Is this type of work environment to be expected when being a developer? Or am I selling my self short and there are better options out there? What do you devs think?12 -
Does spectrum count?!🤔
Jumping jack, loads of tapes & other silly games, my radio & kidnapped tv in the living room 😍😍 yay! -
If our company wants to outsource us to other clients then why don't we just resign and directly work there instead!!!!
Seriously we apply here as developers not consultants/analysts/researchers2 -
What do you windows users out there use for full disk encryption? Anyone using anything else than bitlocker?
Asking for a friend or some silly excuse like that.18 -
I have a biased, opinionated favoritism towards project managers who can symphatize with their developers.1
-
I feel the social media driven urge to post on this platform but honestly don't have anything really to post about. I guess that's a good thing :) #happyDev
-
Silly mistakes while coding, fuck!!
I wrote a loop:
for(i=0; s[i]!='0'; ++i){
//Code
}
and thinking what's going wrong🤔
.
.
.
After sometime I realized my '\' wasn't pressed 😢😶
And after that:
SILLY ME 😁😁 is only thought in mind....5 -
Project manager asked me to directly communicate with our client.
BUT, he told me what to say and what not to say.
BULLSHIT! All of these business "etiquettes" and formalities are just a waste of time for both the clients and us.
If only I could, I would simply cut all these nonsense and just communicate honestly.2 -
I am not even at our office yet the PM already sent us multiple emails asking us to do trivial stuff like update excel sheets, file reports, etc... WTF!? Can't you fucking wait till I get to work!?1
-
Same twat manager from my last rant... He'd call my mobile after hours because we were friends once, and progressively get drunk throughout the call and try to come up with ways to usurp the director, who is actually a decent guy. He'd try to talk me into schemes and convince me to leave with him or get him ousted. Silly fucker.
-
When your vendor contact sends you example code with a bug then sends the new version as a word doc.
Ehem.
WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING? WHY ARE WE USING THIS STUPID FUCKING COMPANY? NONE OF THEIR SHIT WORKS, THEIR WEB SERVICE IS OLD AS SHIT AND DOESN'T EVEN FOLLOW SOAP PROTOCOL, AND THEY OFFER ALMOST NO SUPPORT WHILE CHARGING A SHITLOAD. WHAT THE LITERAL FUCK.2 -
I really really want to change jobs and pursue being a game dev.
I am so tired of our company kissing our clients' asses, out of fear they might leave, making the developer work an extra mile without the appropriate salary for the extra work, which now I realize why we have alot of sh*ty projects.
I think there is a clear line between customer service and being suckups.
:(4 -
Accidentally ran
$ git reset --hard
On my 2 weeks worth of uncommited code.
Thankfully Intellij has a local history. 😥7 -
Stupid useless humanities courses, because, really, who cares about humans? Besides that, silly Excel questions at work, my boss talking of his non-work projects and devrant (because it is not a #wk51 rant without saying it)
-
I can cope with the workload and the silly client requests but I think my bullshit-threshold is very close to being breached.
One more thing and I'm not sure my brain will be able to act fast enough to stop my mouth shouting a horrible string of profanity.2 -
Development planning:
Expectation:
Gather the requirements then estimate the deadline.
What are clients did:
Here is the deadline, then here are the requirements that we must squeeze into it.1 -
What is easy to code at the moment isnt necessarily the best code in the long run.
- From the dev currently maintaining spaghetties of spaghetti code -
that moment when you wait two weeks for client confirmation then he comes back with minor or silly edit then goes again another two weeks...
-
Because my new computer has had no internet connection yet, windows couldn't install drivers to display any resolution above 1024x768.
That looks silly on my 1920x1200 screen.5 -
There's just one thing that pisses me off about American English being a programmer. The punctuation that defines the end of a sentence SHOULD NOT go inside of the quotation marks if a quote ends the sentence, yet that's considered correct in the US. For example, if Joe said something as a statement, to ask a friend if he heard Joe say something, you'd write: Hey! Did you hear Joe say "that tree sucks?" When you should write (in my opinion.. and the UK's apparently): Hey! Did you hear Joe say "that tree sucks"? The question mark shouldn't go inside the string! Wtf! Joe wasn't asking a question! Stupid US English...3
-
At age of 14 me and my friend started writing browser based game.. It was written using php(no DB, as .txt files where our DB) after that I started writing silly little web applications. I have never learned it in uni or any other place...2
-
10-15 small apps, 2-3 major apps, 1 very large very cumbersome database. 1 million+ tables with no foreign keys or associations. Lord help me.4
-
Some relatives visited me last night. As soon their son realized I'm a coder, he started asking me silly questions e.g. he had installed some silly hitman game and asked me to tell him reason for it wasn't working on his system.
WTF man? How could I tell you the reason without even looking at the installation or error. -
I hate managing interns at my company more than half of my day goes into solving their silly issues and the rest i work on shitty small stuff. And the worst thing is they get to do all the machine learning and user behavior analysis stuff, in which i have more insight on. Being a full stack developer it sucks managing other devs. 😔5
-
Me: I have very perfect reason why I did not come to work to day .
Client: Please state your reason .
Me: its silly I don't wanna talk about it.
Client: please do
Me: my index fingers are hurting
Client: why
Me: what do you mean why I was tying to git push heroku master
But every time some json dependency failed -
Best part of being a (freelance) dev : working from home, being able to see my newborn son slowly growing up. Not easy to run after clients days after days, but I don't regret the silly project managers, the dumbasses from the marketing, and, gosh, I don't miss the CTOs. :)1
-
I know there are a lot of Apple haters on here, and no worries to you all, but for the rest of us.. Apple PLEASE come out with an updated Mac Pro! It's been 4 years!4
-
Fucking slave traders who want to "touch base" - They ain't coming anywhere near my base, horrible fuckers!
Why can't they just phone or better still email me!?2 -
So I started this morning with 22 emails from an automated system at my university thanking me for signing up for every single fitness class being offered this semester and asking me to fill out a health information form and waiver. (22 emails, one for each course.) Because the semester started last week, and I had added a class (after some drama with the system not behaving correctly at first), I spent a few minutes making sure I had not accidentally signed up for something I had not intended to.
Later in the day, the school sent out an email apologizing for their script which had sent an email for each class to every student on campus. (So each of several thousand students got 22 emails this morning, most of them unnecessary.) To compound the problem (at least in my opinion) they asked the students who should have gotten the message to treat the email barrage as their legitimate notification, and everyone else to ignore the messages. (They should have invalidated all the messages and re-sent the legitimate ones. Never treat erroneous messages as a legitimate notice. Separate the two and do things properly.)
I normally don't get to see my school's IT side looking this incompetent, so my morning was quite amusing. -
Coworker: I SSH into my liver every now and again. It's mostly to make sure it's kept up and running because I've blocked all the other ports to it. Once my kidneys can' handle the alcohol and energy drinks I'll start enabling cookies on it to help filter out that traffic.
Weird conversations with my coworker -
Went to a friends house and the mother said "Hey, you're a professional with computers. How do you download a song on SoundCloud?" - How the fuck should I know, did I make the websute? Shit.1
-
Website: what's your address?
Me: It's 192.168.1.7... Oh! Silly me! You meant my public address!! 89...1 -
Working from home with a cat... hear a strange noise and turn my chair. Cat is now hanging on for dear life and looking at me with utter betrayal.
It seems she only wanted attention... always. Especially when I’m working.1 -
Is it sort of silly to work remote, but from a different place (library, shop, mall)?
I've had one remote job in the past, but start another tomorrow and I'm hoping to try to work from different places.
All of the posts of folks with their laptops on beaches, looking at waterfalls, and such make me happy.10 -
Site working for me and not coworker during testing.
Go crazzy for 10 minutes.
Find resource pointed to http://localhost/file.php
Feel silly rest of day. -
Hey guys and gals, I built a silly little memory game! Comment with your best scores (no inspecting elements...that's cheating). Also, don't click too fast or it'll break. Lol
http://threetendesign.com/memory4 -
As silly as it sounds, but migrating our company's web application from Ember/JSON API --> React/GraphQL would be a pretty solid achievement.
We're almost to read-only feature parity at the moment with a single developers side time as a proof of concept. -
Am currently handling a very bad code, once you add any feature the app crash and you have to fix the whole POKER application ( as you know poker is a really complicated and everything related to each other). The app crash and every single line of code goes wrong. As well i do barely have a break and am working overtime and during the weekend.
In addition to all of this i have a very complicated design and animation to the chips. Adding to this am the only developer working on this project.
Summing-up am working 10 to 11 hours per day 7 days a week. And still the manager is dissing me as if am not a good developer.
I feel so bad, i cant describe how am currently feeling.
So guys do you believe handling a very bad code might reflect your coding skills ?3 -
Playing video games on my PS1 when I was a kid inspired me to explore programming 😎
When I learned how Gameshark works I was blown away! -
mov al, [var]
var db 07h
Error on line 1: undefined operation size.
Silly me defining a byte, using mov on a byte-wide register with said byte-wide variable. What size it could be, the byte-wide variable is soo fucken unknown i'm so sorry.1 -
Oh, hello dear PO. You suddenly wanted a change to be done after being silent for months?
Silly, silly you. I'm not some kind of rack you drag out of the closet whenever it suits you.
I am now assigned to another project. Your project can't be completed for months, and it ain't my fault. -
One feature I had added to an app where it put the photos of developers in a circular frame. Apparently it used some library to do the task and when the app was ready to launch, there was an error.
Yes you guessed it right. It was my feature that was not only silly but also erroneous1 -
Eclipse deleting my entire project, roughly few thousand LOC and a lot of assets. (Probably my silly mistake, though I don't know what I did)
Good thing I had a half a week old back up2 -
I just crave to start an open-source project. It's just that I don't feel like doing it alone. Anywone up for doin' something stupid? I have a few silly ideas in mind 😅
(Yeah, I need some other project than work...)
(Oh, right. Didn't feel like posting this over at the collab section. Felt to vague.)7 -
I’m finishing up a thing for someone. It’ll be in prod soon. I’m nervous. I keep picking at it but it’s “done.” It’s just a silly script. But I haven’t written anything in a long time that someone else is gonna actually use. I write things no one else uses to make my life easier.2
-
sl
Gotta love the silly things a community brings forth. Never fails to crank me up when I accidentally use it and kinda replenishes my energy / motivation.3 -
my maven project was working fine in windows but showing a lot of errors in Ubuntu's eclipse. so,I uploaded my to Github & I cloned it in my ubuntu only to find that I forgot to remove a jar from the classpath. I felt so silly afterwards but yeah,I think that was cool! 😋
-
Anyone here who created a team in Bitbucket but the only member is their self? I know it may be a silly question but I just want to create projects so I can organize my repositories4
-
The moment when u forget to break from a switch statement from its one of its cases and try to figure wtf is wrong with ur code.1
-
My last dew days so far: learn the new angular 4. BAM, new angular 5 is announced. Try to install CLI. Errors with node.js/npm. Solutions: install different version of nodejs. I do that using 'n' to keep diff vers of node.js (i need them). CLI installer throws a different error. Google error. Solution: install yet another ver of node.js. Repeat issues! Try something different. Run into another dependency issue (requires another ver of ruby. ugh!) Screw it all. Continue to Angular tutorial. Check out live example. Doesn't work. Chrome throws ton of errors, Yet tutorial example works in FF. FML!
4 -
Hey guys.
Is there any alternative for CLion? I can't use codeblocks since there is no dark theme(sounds silly but I prefer dark theme).12 -
That time you are programing some project and you just curried a function naturally and you ask to yourself: "Does it mean I know Functional Programming?"
And you put a spoke in your own wheel right away: "Don't be silly".
:P1 -
That spit-take you make when you find that another programmer made it so that manipulating a date in a url creates a row in the database for sales info that doesn’t exist!
Like seriously?!
-
I don't know why but here, in iran, everybody use Hungarian notation? Like strName or txtFirstName.
I think its silly and i hate it. is it common everywhere?6 -
I'm not proud to admit that I was searching for the stories section just to notice that I haven't even updated the app.. Silly me 😅
-
True story: We had once a project where the manager tells the client we are using the Waterfall but internally the devs are actually doing Agile. >_<1
-
I don't think today is my day--i'm making alot of silly mistakes: forgot to call callback at end of function, forgot the () to complete the IIFE, copied a SQL querystring and forgot the change the fieldname from 'date' to 'created_at' and wondering why it's returning an empty array.
Self, please get your head in the game -
@dfox I know .gif's will play when you press/open a rant that contains one, but can it play automatically from the feed? I'm sure that must have been considered before- is it not possible?9
-
Put a stored procedure into production which exclusively only used synonyms to another server’s database, and didn’t actually use any of its own DB’s data..
Didn’t want to add all the scaffolding of a second connection to the app. Oh well! -
I've been a dev for more than half my life now and it still kind of surprises me the ability of typing fast and precise without looking at the keyboard.
I know it's silly but is a pretty neat self-taught-through-practice ability.
Good for you, everyone who types without looking at the keyboard. -
Anyone have experience with Toptal / Crew et. al?
Toptal’s screening uses Codility which seems to largely just be silly esoteric algorithmic problems rather than evidence for being able to code applications...
Anyone here made it in?4 -
Netbeans, it looks ancient, is slow, and takes 100000m clicks to get anything done, and also has useless silly snippets
-
!rant && silly
Well so I was thinking of ways to proposing to my non existent geek gf, so far I thought of
Would you do pair life programming with me?
How would you do it?4 -
Managed to finish my rewrite of my Minecraft mod. Man was my code terrible 2 years ago.
For anyone interested in knowing what mod.... it's a silly mod called Meme In A Bottle, It was my entrance to MC modding. -
Not having a cup of coffee before I do anything. Because I make silly mistakes like posting a rant for wk7
-
silly me. i'd like to give linux a try at last but struggle already to create a persistent usb-system. failing at this point makes me wonder if it's worth to change and if i personally have any advantages. i might be too old for this thing. or too young...2
-
Reading Geekonomics (silly title for the book) and seriously considering that maybe we should all be licensed/certified since so much software is broken, looking at you Equifax.1
-
I have a love hate relationship with C honestly. I hate that you have to do so much overhead management and control of all of your pointers and arrays and manually handle memory allocation and management, but on the other hand it's pretty cool to work that low / close to the machine code and the programs run lightning quick. Pros and cons, I guess. Would've been interesting to be around in the early days..1
-
Ok this will be silly guys, but this is my last hope, please help me. I am looking for a website "framework" but I can't remember the name. It is commercial, its website is all white using some black slab/serif fonts and it has a side navigation, the purpose of the framework is to easily create websites with full page scroll. it has multiple layouts, really similar to webslides or the slides framework from the guys at designmodo. If you know it or you are the developer behind it, please write link/name in comments thank you in advance!!
-
No ansible, go home. You can not compete with mature programs used worldwide for many years.
Your "main" function for get_url module has 200 lines with comments dividing "sections" with different ifs. And it's one of best of your modules...
Just look: http://bit.ly/2d4LhTr
1 -
My misses said she was to young for me as I occasionally drop I'm a bit of Brb, brt wtf etc.. into my messages (I don't like lol), and thus she responds with this:
"U need someone who knows what the fuck those silly little letters mean! "
My messages are childish, eh dear?1 -
And so i proceeded to try and re write code using my own framework(more like complex file system). But the original code itself is just so fucking confusing i want to kill whoever wrote this silly cunt off an application.
Hence the 1 hr break i took and hence this rant. -
Okay, I will just send a fix version this week... Umm 2 crashes and a small UX improvement, should take 10 minutes...
Android Studio says something needs updating, well okay I have time...
*Codes the fixes*
*Tests the fixes*
WTF the backup functionality is broken.
*Debugs*
Silly Google drive lib, why don't you like when the user selects an account?
*Fires up another computer, doesn't let it update, compiles and it works!*
Fuck you google -
Hey guys/gals! I have an open !rant question about Linux distros and while I've seen it asked before, I often times don't see really justified answers: which distros are good (and for what) and WHY? What makes you prefer gentoo or arch to Debian or Ubuntu? Just looking for thoughts and reasons :)6
-
So, I did the silly and tried Freelancer.com. The chat is really fucking buggy, my client has paid me but I can't see the payment in my account, and their live chat system has a timestamping problem that means you can't actually ask for help. What do I do? The money in there was ideally supposed to pay my bills this month...2
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Codewars needs to enforce that people upload avatars. I've created all these hateful feelings for this black and white ninja-raver image... Is it that one asshole again? No. It's just everyone - and I can't tell who the jerks are anymore. it's silly. Just leave it blank or something. Anything else. AAHHHHHH!!!!
-
Why doesn't Java have a functional interface that supports throwable exceptions?
Seems silly to have to define my own wrappers around the Function<> interface. -
<p class="another silly p">Hello World</p>
(Just found this app.. wanted to say hello world like all the tutors and instructors do so lovely) -
Are truly global variables ever really, truly, necessary? Can someone give me an example of such a time? Completely breaking scope in code makes for terrible readability
-
So the restaurant I work for get interns to "revamp" the employee website (says so right on the page). The site didnt work the first couple days they had it up. Then it was fine for a week. Now everyone is getting a 404. I had thought about working as a software engineer for home office, but now Im not sure I want to since they cant even get a website working correctly for more than a week.
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