Me: Can you make me some meatballs?

Engineer: No, what are you talking about?

Me: I thought you were a chef.

Engineer: I'm not a chef, what made you think that?

Me: I was looking at your code and I haven't seen that much spaghetti since Olive Garden ran the endless pasta special. I was just wanting some meatballs to go with it.

!rant
A few days ago a friend of mine rang me up complaining about internet issues with his computer. As usual I did the "is it plugged in, turn it off then on again" sort of thing to waste time while my pasta was cooking. After a while he asked if I had another bogus solution, so I suggested flushing his toilet.

He runs off, I hear the flush, comes back and viola - it fucking worked.

The point of this is: if it don't work, flush the toilet. You're welcome, tech support out ✌️

A nice UML diagram of a typical Electron application

Recruiters, do you even copy pasta!!

Okay, just because I'm the only one under 35, single, and only white/hispanic guy on this team doesn't give you the right to interrupt me mid sentence IN my meeting. No disrespect to the developers from India and this may just be a culture conflict where I am outnumbered in my company but I don't understand the how some of these guys can't just be polite or respect others opinions(this is just from my experience with 90 or so developers from India and I don't believe in blanketing all Indians as this way just these 90 plus I do love the food).

Don't hijack MY meeting and then completely derail where I was going and disregard my solution without listening to the whole thing for an idea that isn't even solution but adds more work for both parties involved. You may have been working here for 5 years, but I worked in the actual department where we're building the new process and solution to a problem I've worked on. I understand the user since I WAS ONCE THAT USER for a good 8 months. And on top of that you can barely code efficient, or complex SQL statements. You're nothing more than fucking script kiddies and this whole IT department is joke. I apologize if the rant isn't really that coherent, I'm not very good at typing rants with my adrenaline running hot.

Books and command lines.

I don't like teachers.

I think it's because my learning process is very async and chaotic. When I see a snippet in Golang, I relate it to PHP, Rust and Haskell. I jump to resolving the problem in other languages, trying to find out which approaches work in Go.

Then I read about some computer science concept on Wikipedia and get lost in that while my hunger for knowledge and food increases. After a while I look up a recipe for a pasta salad, and while cutting bell peppers, I see the recipe in terms of typed morphisms, I sprinkle and intersperse ingredients through mapping functions, then decide to write an interpreter for the esoteric "Chef" language in Go so I can interpret my salad recipe while eating it.

Voila, I'm learning Go.

I have no patience for linear mentoring, and others have no patience for mentoring me.

But that's OK.

Difference n°538592 between developers and regular people:

"Do you listen music at work ? If so what app do you use ?

- (regular people) I don't / I use Spotify/Youtube.

- (me) I usually listen to my personal webradio server (running with icecast+liquidsoap on a little ubuntu DO droplet). Currently has a few funny jingles made by a friend and +3000 tracks (this number grows with time as I listen to new stuff), all crate-digged by myself for myself. Basically the the best radio in the whole world <3"

The next wanker who copy-pastes instead of properly reusing existing code will be tarred and feathered.

I was lurking on devrant since about a month. Never feel like ranting 'til now.

FUCKING TORRENT THAT STOPS AT 99.8%!!!!! WHY FUCKING SHIT WHY FUCK THIS FUCKING BUG I HATE YOU TORRENT I HATE YOU!!!! 😠😠😠😠 FUCK!

It doesn't matter how much you try, JS is always gonna taste like pasta.

So I've been doing some code jobs now and recently they pushed me to a new level.
This company worked with some silly management app made in cpp which they asked me to edit a little bit giving it another style and some additional functions.
Day 1: this code is a mess.
Day 2: this code is a mess.
Day 3: how does this code even compile.
Day 4: I no longer have faith in humanity.
Day 5: I found my first comment (Yay?).
Day 16: I'm done.
Day 19: I got paid.

If you're making a project in cpp just like that dev you do deserve a punch in the throat.

No documentation, no comments, no patterns, just some thick pasta of poorly written code, names like fCalcAllTaxFilesSizeMB....
This haunts me for real.

I watched today one of our devs working in Windows with a Docker Environment.

I think I'm pretty insensitive regarding pain, horror and morbid stuff.

But damn. I really needed to turn off the stream or else I'd walk to the company and rip his fucking workstation out of the server rack to put it out of his misery...

Errors? ignore them....

Weird python messages? Ignore them...

wild copy pasta between notepad++ containing shell commands and a git bash... Per mouse context. Yes. Move the cursor, mark the text, right click, copy, go to terminal, right click, paste.

Understanding of whats happening. Zero. Like literal zero.

He was wondering why there were strange characters when he pasted log output in a text file...

My question: How do you think colored text works in a terminal environment?
was answered by : "Don't know, never thought about it. But don't think this has something to do with the weird characters?"

I don't wanna talk about the rest.

Retarded humanity can please kindly kill itself so the intelligent above average nice people can live in peace...

The meeting was 2 hours. I drank 5 bottles of beer after it in1 hour and I'm please to announce I'm forgetting large parts of what has happened.

Cheers.

My best case "Deploy Bittersweet Pipeline":

Prep a bunch of carrots, cucumber and tomatoes for day snacks. Roll & cut some pasta noodles, cook stock with fresh veggies & mushrooms, add some droopy soft boiled egg(s) to the broth, drizzle in some black garlic hot sauce. Enjoy that breakfast with an unsweetened Australian flat white and a half-liter cup of chai spiced green tea. Watch some science/tech/woodworking/cooking YouTube videos while feeding my Bittersweet Jr girl.

(yeah my mood is determined for about 90% by food)

Fire up docker compose & IDEs, and start refactoring code and migrating/fixing old databases.

My worst case "Fatal Incident Bittersweet Repair & Recovery Process":

Stuck while refactoring the worst kind of trash code since 9am.

Pour a glass of Tawny Port at 9pm. Pour a glass of cognac at 11pm. Unwrap 3 chocolate bars and break them into chunks in a bowl. Look at IDE, get nauseated, not from the booze or chocolate, but from the code.

Can't fall asleep because code is too broken, that crap should simply not exist. Take some LSD and amphetamine, can't sleep anyway. Start splitting several 10k-line-long files into smaller classes, type until my fingers have blisters. Empty two bags of Doritos, order a large Falafel with extra garlic sauce at 4am.

Fall asleep at 5am with my face on my keyboard, wake up at 9am with keyboard pattern on my skin.

Cook some hangover noodles.

Call work that I'm taking 3 days off. Feed Bittersweet Jr while I watch some YouTube channels with her. Bittersweet has successfully rebooted.

making a pasta sauce, look at them sweet ass bell peppers ooohhh

Can we rant about coworking spaces?

I like the coworking office concept and I love this desk I have for myself, I like this building, the supervisor is sweet and I made new clients here...

But I hate one of my "neighbours".

We have several office rules and he constantly breaks them.

No music allowed without headphones. Nope, gotta listen to shitty radio straight from the smartphone speaker.

No loud conferences or phone talks. Nah, let's set the volume to the max. And leave the phone behind and let it ring loudly forever.

You can only occupy one desk unless you rent more. In comes his coworker who keeps occupying an extra desk for free and who's as loud as he is. And bring the kids because hey, growing up bored inside a office is good for them.

And today's newest: no eating in the office. Coworker brought her kid who set up a -dinning table- on the extra desk and began eating her lunch leftovers. It wouldn't have been so bad and I wouldn't have noticed except the office was overflowed with the stench of overheated pasta.

This is a big office. I had to open the windows. I can still feel the smell. It's nauseating.

I didn't say anything because it's not the kid's fault they didn't take her to the building's canteen space. But at the risk of making enemies where I shouldn't, I need to have a "fun" talk with someone.

I made some pasta

am I waifu material yet?

As a freelancing student my customer (CEO) asked to build a project management system.
I was like: we can smoothly get to know each other by setting up a simple .xlsm
ENGAGE™.gif

On 2/3 of project, shareholder comes in: make it like office. I want the same as ms office but built by you.

Me: sure. Why not. I'll a have a little chat with friends being experts on this.
FuckThisRage.webm

Who does he think he is. What does he believe one single human is capable of. What a jerkTard

Forced a high expense allowance and gave them some gibberish copy pasta, sealed .xlsm containing 3 languages all but macro

#peaceout

I really don't get all the Musk fans. I mean, sure you can find some value in Tesla or SpaceX, sure you can think theses companies are truly innovating. But why give all the credit to the rich businessman who seems to spent more time promoting himself than really working on science stuff, and not to all the ingeneers and creatives who are really putting some hard work on every day ? All Musk is really doing is running a business. He seems to do that pretty well, agreed, but after all it's "just" that: business. He's not the genius, nor the creative. He has money and invests it well, that's all.
I don't get why so many people give all the credit to him, even here on devrant where it should be logical to find more people supporting the real brains behind the tech.

"He has a vision about the future, he's imaginative..."

- Well that's bullshit.

Once again: he has money, a lot, and a certain skill about how to invest it (and about doing some proper marketing too), which companies to buy, etc. That don't make him such a great visionary about the future of the human being, just a great businessman. I'm sure you can find millions of people around the world with better ideas about the future, but they're not in his position. They're not rich, they're not CEOs, they're mostly unknown.

Stop follow the stream by glorifying businessmen just because medias are talking lot about them. Instead, know where the real talent (and work) is. Give credit to Musk employees, not to him.

Just saw this (the original image). Thought that it could be a good meme.

Maybe in special dedication to @kiki.

I cut the unit tests down in LOC size by roughly 50 - 60 % in most projects.

It's really easy once one sees unit tests not as a dunking pile of copy pasta wild west, but rather as a code base that needs architecture and design.

Some extensions, some annotations, some good old helper classes.

Pooooof.

Why I did this? ...

Because it's fucking annoying when you read a PR with tests and need a fucking diff tool to spot the difference between two tests cause they're 80 % the same.

Yeah. Thx for giving me brain cramps, motherducker.

I'm not an expert in unit tests, but if all test codebases look like the "usual stuff" in our projects...

It's no wonder bugs exist...

Have IR in your smartphone? You must try this.

Go to the nearest bar or a place where there is a TV show/match going on. Turn the TV off and run :D. (Order pasta run fasta)

ÆÃÅĀÀÁÂÄ!!!
I'm so thrilled!! I am not a GUI person & I am rly rly slow & bad when it comes to minor changes on that part..
But today I finally finished GUI, client logic, server side logic & db shiiit for some audit interface I was making.. ..from scratch, meaning it wasn't some changese here & there, no copy pasta no nothin.. I did the whole thing by myself..did a lot of things for the first time & it didn't take me ages!! Wiiiiii!!! Having a total 'I iz so proud of myself' moment!! // I usually am not the boasting/confident/happy with myself type..

Me, crunching some uncooked instant pasta: "i was supposed to mix it huh"

I should totally design a fully-automated restaurant.
It wouldn't even be that difficult. 😕

Burgers and fries? Simple!
Pasta? Simple.
Sandwiches? Boringg.
Salad? No way.

Automated food prep is best idea.

That moment when code reuse makes you reuse reused code and you actually reuse a BUG.

You decide to go for code reusing when your boss asks: "Can you add an edit popup besides that 'add customer' popup button?". You do some little tweaks to the "new customer" code and it allows that to save over an existing entry, cool.

However, after a lot of time spent on reviewing the resulting PR, turns out there was a dormant bug on the code you reused, and it woke up with its new use.

That code was a bad copy-pasta from another, bigger form, which included a whole bunch of optional fields. As it was only used to save new entries, those now missing fields were simply being saved as empty. But as you reused that to save existing entries, you were now cleaning up all those optional fields without noticing.

I love coffee, so I'd take coffee over pasta any day..

So I enventually spent 2 years working for that company with a strong b2b market. Everything from the checkouts in their 6 b2c stores to the softwares used by the 30-people sales team was dependant on the main ERP shit home-built with this monstruosity we call Windev here in France. If you don't know it just google and have some laugh : this is a proprieteray FRENCH language. Not french like made by french people, well that too, but mostly french like the fucking language is un fucking french ! Instructions are on french, everything. Hey that's my natural language okay, but for code, really ?

The php website was using the ERP database too, even all the software/hardware of the massive logistic installation they had (like a tiny Amazon depot), and of course the emails of all employees. Everything was just handled by this unique shitty and so sloooooow fucking app. When there was to many clients on the website or even too many salespeople connected to the ERP at the same time, every-fuckin-piece of the company was slowing down, and even worse facing critical bugs. So they installed a monitor in the corner of a desk constantly showing the live report page of Google analytics and they started panic attacks everytime it was counting more than 30 sessions on the website. That was at the time fun and sad to observe.

The whole shit was created 12 years ago and is since maintened locally by one unique old-fashion-microsoft dev who also have to maintain all the hardware of all the fucking 150+ people business. You know, when the keyboard of anyone is "broken" cause it's unplugged... That's his job too. The poor guy was totally overstressed on a daily basis and his tech knowledge just saddly losts themeselves somewhere in the way. He was my n+1 in a tech team of 3 people : him, a young and inexperimented so-called "php developer" who was in charge of the website (btw full of security holes I discovered and dealed with when I first arrive at the job), and myself.

The database was a hell of 100+ tables of business and marketing data with a ton of specific logic added on-the-go during years. No consistent data model or naming. No utf8. Fucked up relations that ends with queries long enough to fill books. And that's not all, all the customers passwords was just stored there uncrypted. Several very big companies and administrations were some of these clients. I was insisting on the passwords point litterally all the time, that was an easy security fix and a good start... But no, in two years of discussions on the subject I never achieved to have them focusing on other considerations than "our customers like that we can remind them their password by a simple phone call if they lost it". What. The. Fuck. WHATTHEFUCK!

Eventually I ran myself out of this nightmare. I had a few bad jobs already, and worked on shitty software already. But that one really blows my mind (and motivation for a time too). Happy it's over.

I think I made someone angry, then sad, then depressed.

I usually shrink a VM before archiving them, to have a backup snapshot as a template. So Workflow: prepare, test, shrink, backup -> template, document.

Shrinking means... Resetting root user to /etc/skel, deleting history, deleting caches, deleting logs, zeroing out free HD space, shutdown.

Coworker wanted to do prep a VM for docker (stuff he's experienced with, not me) so we can mass rollout the template for migration after I converted his steps into ansible or the template.

I gave him SSH access, explained the usual stuff and explained in detail the shrinking part (which is a script that must be explicitly called and has a confirmation dialog).

Weeeeellll. Then I had a lil meeting, then the postman came, then someone called.

I had... Around 30 private messages afterwards...

- it took him ~ 15 minutes to figure out that the APT cache was removed, so searching won't work
- setting up APT lists by copy pasta is hard as root when sudo is missing....
- seems like he only uses aliases, as root is a default skel, there were no aliases he has in his "private home"
- Well... VIM was missing, as I hate VIM (personal preferences xD)... Which made him cry.
- He somehow achieved to get docker working as "it should" (read: working like he expects it, but that's not my beer).

While reading all this -sometimes very whiney- crap, I went to the fridge and got a beer.

The last part was golden.

He explicitly called the shrink script.
And guess what, after a reboot... History was gone.

And the last message said:

Why did the script delete the history? How should I write the documentation? I dunno what I did!

*sigh* I expected the worse, got the worse and a good laugh in the end.

Guess I'll be babysitting tomorrow someone who's clearly unable to think for himself and / or listen....

Yay... 4h plus phone calls. *cries internally*

If point-and-click game made in PowerPoint, that my grandma actively played because of boredom, is "creative hacky solution", then there you have it.

First game is "The Adventures of Sayid", second "Hide and Seek" with creepy pasta sound and graphic assets from Shrek: Activity Center.
Well, that's my childhood without Internet, what I can say!

I have a serious question.
I particularly address Italian ranters.

It's about time to decide what faculty/"subject" I should go to, and I'm uncertain between "Informatics" and "Informatic Engineering".

Does someone know what the differences between the two are, and, given that I want to do as much programming (and so practical stuff instead of theorical stuff) as possible, which of these two faculties should suit me best?

If you're not from Italy, but from other countries, of course that shouldn't stop you from posting a response, if you want to.
How do Universities work there?
Are they like ours, in Italy, or does it work differently?

Thanks for your patience. 💙

If I were cooking like I maintain my dev projects, I'd have a roast in the fridge, a frittata thats only missing the eggs, eight different pots of uncooked soup around the kitchen and the ingredients for a pudding in the cupboard. But I'd be eating pasta with a ready-made soup every day, because its finished.

I HATE WORDPRESS. Its like programming a 10 year old pasta.

Cant even break lines in HTML or CSS, even marked as important.

Why my client want this garbadge is beyond me.

As I already said on devrant, I'm a freelance web developer and I also often sell my services for teaching, loving that. Currently I'm teaching PHP with 30 students and it's going very well.

But yesterday, I received an offer for giving another course next month, this time on HTML and CSS, for a company I don't know yet. Almost every line of this email is wrong, outdated by 20 years, or just basically meaningless...

So I thought I could do my best to translate this as close as possible to the original, preserving the wrong formulations too, just for you devranters fellas.

"Hello,

I have an offer for a 2 days course for 5 people (level 1+ and/or 2), on HTML5 and CSS3. Below, the program :

1. XHTML AND CSS2 INTRODUCTION

Advantages and benefits of change

Understanding compatibility for different versions of browsers

HTML, XHTML, CSS edition tools : presentation of the different tools

The CSS language : different types of selectors : class of selector, identifier of selector, contextual selectors, grouped selectors

Blocks of text, boxes of text

The CSS1, CSSP, CSS2 properties

Relative and absolute measures units

2. LAYOUT TECHNIQUES

Full CSS, XHTML websites demo

Positioning with the position property, positioning with the float property

Columns creation

Layout for forms

Layout for data tables

Layout for menus

3. INTRODUCTION TO SVG (SCALABLE VECTOR GRAPHICS)

Role and importance of SVG

Using SVG on client side : basic shapes

SVG structure of document, tags examples

Using CSS styles with SVG

Different integration methods for SVG in a XHTML document

4. OPTIMISATION OF JAVASCRIPT CODE

Introduction to DOM and Javascript

Access to document objects : different access techniques, using this keyword, create elements dynamically

Positioning elements with the help of Javascript : positionning elements relatively to the mouse, move elements

Show/hide elements for creating hierarchical menus

Code optimisation techniques : using objects, objects litterals, loops optimisation

Can you please give me your availability ?"

Seriously...

CSS-fucking-1 ! Is it a course for dinosaurs ?

...And if only my rant was just about the program...

It's totally impossible to cover all these subjects in only 2 days with people of different levels and experience.

The guy exactly said to me : "don't worry about the program, it's an old text but they agreed to it anyway. They just want to learn HTML and CSS, some of them already know it but want to learn more, and the others are total beginers.".

And here is the meaning for the "(level 1+ and/or 2)" part in the email.

So... Surprizingly, I accepted the offer, but asked for at least a 3rd day. I'm waiting for their answer, but I'll do it anyway, adapting the course content to the actual students knowledge. I need the money, after all.

Wish me luck...

It's just sad that these formation companies are selling bullshit to clients that just want to learn something useful. It's too often like that, they sell shitty/useless programs and we have to catch up in real time with students that don't understand why they don't learn what was told to them.

Slogging through half baked code, I wondered to myself... Who the fuck is Robert and where is he?

Quickly searching through Google and finding a handful of results I see that he had left long ago. Probably leaving for good reason. I'll never be able to ask him though. Never will I know why he left. He probably has a very sensible reason, but goddamn do I wish he left something that I could use to discern what he has created.

There is no documentation, no reasonable information about why anything was built the way it was, only just mountains of rusty ass baren code to scale down.

So, first: I'm a bit of a perfectionist when it comes to code and love to think I know everything.

We had a group project at university and me being laid back but unknown to the other people, the "rest" of them was together with me in a group. We got to know each other and actually we were a pretty cool group. I guess "the rest" in a computer science course means you get the cool guys.^^

1/6 of us did ever code in C# and 2/6 even knows what an engine is and how unity works. I was in both sixths, got group leader somehow (if you'd know me from school. Omg. I was that one guy not knowing what went on, saying my two sentences at the presentation and took the B-.:D), so what to do to have a nice 2 weeks with them?
We did a crash course, I taught them some basics and everything.

The point is, i was hella nervous and i really get anxious if something is expected from me.

Long story short, I talked a whole week for 5-7 hours straight without real pauses and eating wayyy less a man should. Dude I was literally dead on my way home on friday evening. I felt like I would fall over any fucken second, i was all shakey, dizzy as hell, weird vision, everything. It felt like I was about to die on the spot.

I got home though, ate like 1/2 kilograms of pasta and felt myself coming back to life.:D

What to learn from this:
Keep the fuck calm, do pauses, drink and eat enough and don't rush all in for a fucken week without real rest..^^
It fucks you up and doesn't do anything good for your productivity.

We got an A btw, so in the end, all went good.(:

Epic code fight broke out today when one developer fronted himself for leader due to having beat all the metrics by a factor of ten. Claimed he could replace the entire department based on LOC alone.

Another developer told him to fucking zip it.

After almost coming to blows someone managed to explain to him that he had to put his code into a compressed archive.

As it compressed to ten times smaller than the next smallest contribution he declared victory because his compressed better. Another developer joked better call bomb squad.

I'm not here to underestimate the design of a government app on Android.

I hope the developer considered the UI itself as user-friendly and not the default button from android studio. he just simply copies the contents(text & images) from the government web page and paste it to its application.

He/she got paid well to make that app. well, although the information is correct for the users.

It's not much that users are even enthusiastic of the design. they simply read the guidelines inside the app and no more fancy animation.

HR departments really really annoy me

Firstly, they take an age and a half to respond to job applications. Now I understand that there are multiple steps in choosing a candidate, gotta look through their cover letter, resume etc, maybe talk to a lead somewhere, but 4 FREAKING MONTHS? SERIOUSLY?

HOWEVER, if they DO ACTUALLY REPLY then that makes them better than most HR departments. If I've gone to the effort of filling all of your application forms with strange questions in, and I've written you a tailor-made cover letter, the LEAST I expect is a simple copy pasta email saying setting like "Sorry, but you don't match what we're looking for". That's all. Don't even need to include my name. 100% copy and paste. 10 extra seconds in the 4 months it took you to read half a page of text and some nicely formatted bullet points

So incredibly annoying

I dropped some pasta on my keyboard and while cleaning it up,I accidentally delivered an appropriate assessment of the situation.

What is your favourite pasta-code?

I think mine is tortellini/ravioli code. Where someone has taken Object Oriented Programming to the absolute worst extreme. You have loads of seemingly unrelated tiny classes/functions with just a few lines. All split between 30 files to perform one module function

And somewhere is a bug. Bon appetit💋👌

Some cheapskate insists on writing a guide to selfhost <software> on Heroku and wants to add it to the official documentation, promising to maintain it (since none of the other devs are using or planning to use Heroku). I volunteer to give them a chance on grounds of it being high quality and maintained by that person in the future which they both promise.
Our docs are written as markdown files on github.

So here we go:
Starts a pull request: uploads their """guide""" as a docx. The content is completely unformatted, basically just an enumerated list.

Tell them to format it as markdown, suggest using github gists.
They go ahead and copy pasta their unformatted list into a gist.txt "allright i made it into gist for ya"

Tell them that they did not format it as markdown.
"sorry updated it in markdown :P"

I look at the file, it is still raw text in a gist.txt. Maybe a bit more spaced out, not that I would care to notice any changes at this point.

Tell them it is still not markdown and link them to a perfect example of another guide that takes advantage of code fragments for commands etc and is properly rendered since it uses .md

"I updated it to the markdown this time XP Can you give me some suggestions on how it looks?"

"How it looks"... "how it LOOKS"... I click the link for the 5th time and IT IS STILL JUST A RAW FUCKING GIST.

Jfc that person has some serious reading/thinking disability. To imagine them to be proactively keeping their guide up to date in the future is absolutely impossible. At that point I pulled out my support for the request since it was already taking more effort to even get a readable version of guide than I estimated for the whole process of adding it.

Oh, and one of the steps originally suggested in the """guide""" was adding the credentials file into the vcs.

You know the configuration sucks if it's a one file, 10 K lines nginx reverse proxy configuration.

But what really really really sucks....

If the person who wrote it was a google craptastic copy pasta ninja.

For fucks sake, if you don't know what you are doing, just stop.

I've had this in so many rants, it's terrifying how many devs seem to be completely unaware of what they're doing Oo

This time, fuckwad ignored the basic principle of NGINX configuration: set the HTTP version for the proxy.

It's by default HTTP 1.0 - as HTTP 1.1 requires a Host Header _which you must set if not already present_.

The fuckwad had all kinds of scary optimizations enabled. Literally a bukkaka (not a typo) of <way too high value> and <too obscure configuration value that cannot apply here>.

But the most trivial thing, enabling HTTP 1.1 and keepalive. Nope.

Not in it.

It's funny how fast NGINX can be without the bukkaka of configuration values but HTTP keepalive enabled.

*me sits in the silent corner of the plushy pink room with soft walls*

So I started working at a large, multi billion dollar healthcare company here in the US, time for round 2,(previously I wasn't a dev or in IT at all). We have the shittiest codebase I have ever laid eyes on, and its all recent! It's like all these contractors only know the basics of programming(i'm talking intro to programming college level). You would think that they would start using test driven development by now, since every deployment they fix 1 thing and break 30 more. Then we have to wait 3 months for a new fix, and repeat the cycle, when the code is being used to process and pay healthcare claims.

Then some of my coworkers seem to have decided to treat me like I'm stupid, just because I can't understand a single fucking word what they're saying. I have hearing loss, and your mumbling and quiet tone on top of your think accent while you stop annunciated your words is quite fucking hard to understand. Now I know english isn't your first language and its difficult, I know, mine is Spanish. But for the love of god learn to speak the fuck up, and also learn to write actual SQL scripts and not be a fucking script kiddie you fucking amateur. The business is telling you your data is wrong because you're trying to find data that exists is complex and your simple select * from table where you='amateur with "10years" experience in SQL' ain't going to fucking cut it. Learn to solve problems and think analytically instead of copy fucking pasta.

When I face with messy code and I cannot understand it for days.

Pasta company stocks grow 40% today.
Whole stock exchange rate of return is -40%.

1 pasta company stock is now worth 7.5 energy company stock.

I've been writing unit tests for an existing project for a couple of months now. I'm not experienced at automated tests, so I'm not sure what's good unit tests supposed to be, but the unit tests that I wrote basically just confirm the flow that already implemented, which to my limited understanding of unit tests is supposed to be the other way around. The good thing is that I could catch some minor problems with the implementation such as not imported class used, the wrong variable used since the project is a rewrite of legacy code so a lot of copy-pasta, I also have to wrap some part of the code that interacts with the filesystem in a DI class so I could test that part.

Got a high paying job, with great benefits, and a big name, straight out of college. I was hired as a software engineer. Comfy, relaxed, and flexible.

The problem comes where it was not the job I was expecting. It has been almost a year and the only programming I've done has been 1 small copy pasta project. I am worried because I am bored and feeling my coding skills fade away. I'm still a novice programmer and feel like this impacts future career opportunities not learning useful skills for outside of this company. I'm going to grad school to do what I really want but still have the 2 years.

Do I stay or do I make the stressful change again? Other fun thing is I just relocated a distance to an area with not a lot of opportunities so would likely involve relocating again.

Today I trolled my Italian dev colegue by telling him that I like to listen to creepypasta but I wrote the word like this: "creepy pasta" he typed for 10 minutes but only sent the following:
"Your... listening to pasta Barilla ... ?"

I hope to troll him more in the future.

Does anyone know why we say "hero" for big headers in webdesign ? Where does this term come from ?

Okay, if I understand correctly, if you want your website to be RGPD compliant, you must wait for user opt-in before storing anything to their device.

Maybe I'm asking myself too much questions but, how exactly does this work for a PWA ? Should you ask user for permission before starting a service worker and/or before caching any content ? If so, what if the user refuses the authorization ? The app is broken ? Or it just fallback to good old http browsing if it's server-rendered ?

The hotel I'm staying at only has mini toilet paper that I have had to call for an embarrassing number of times yet they're tryna judge me for wanting pasta at 3 am???

Like, we've passed that stage. I feel no shame anymore!!

Hindersi Magronä recipe:

- Butter
- 2-3 Onions, diced
- 300g Potatoes, diced
- 350g Maccheroni or just pasta
- 1 table spoon of dried chicken stock dissolved in water
- 20-30ml of hot water
- 30ml Heavy Cream
- 300g Parmigiano Reggiano
- Diced Bacon

- Coat a pan with butter
- Add onions, bacon and potatoes
- Cook untill onions are lightly golden
- Add the stock and stir
- Add the pasta
- Add enough hot water so its level is ~1-2cm above the pasta
- Cook untill the pasta is "al dente" and let the water evaporate untill ~1cm above the pan
- Add the heavy cream and cheese
- Cook and stir for 2min

Et voilà, Mac N Cheese with extra steps

Worst part about being a developer?
Coding the apex-maximum-feelsgood-climax of your code, feeling like a genius and then your mom calls you to dinner and you feel like you've lost trillions of geniusly made ideas that could save the world from aids while eating your pasta.. yeah, that's the worst part.

For web devs here, do we really still need to support browsers of the evil (yeah I'm talking about MS browsers, Edge included) ?

I mean, building a css ui library here in 2017, without the benefits of custom properties, grid and so many other cool things, is so fucking frustrating.
A practical example : color theming with custom properties = Fuck Yeah / color theming without custom properties = so verbose and painfull, sucks.

The library is mostly for private usage at the moment so... I'm about to drop IE and Edge in the deepest shithole of the darkest cavern of my memory, and move on coding my lib with modern CSS, with almost no regret for the ghosts of the past who are still using these shitware today.

Should I ? Or should I... maintain compatibility as we traditionnally do ?
What's you guys opinion about this ? Can we finally kickban these browsers from our lives ?

Hello everyone!I need to see some opinion you guys might have.

I'm a self-taught everything about Computer, I've been trying to learn to develop software and games for a while now, was able to gather some information in a bunch of directions, but never was able be able to ACTUALLY develop anything by myself without the help of a step by step guide. Which stop me from program things and not copy pasta. I know that i seem to like how C works, since it have less features that confuse me (IMO of course)

So my question is: What kind of small projects would you recommend me to do other than calculators to help me figure out how we actually program something?

PS: I know python, C, a little bit of C++ and C#.

i am so excited learning. now i'll start refactoring my plate of spaghetti into object portions. both are new topics to me.

Comment in our code, followed by 3 identical SQL queries with only the table name different (Admin, regular user, old regular user).
Then we duplicated the entire project as it being a contract first webservice prevented us from changing it's signature to accommodate the needs of a new application.

Working for a little SharePoint-Company while studying.
Have to hunt bugs.
Found a major bug which kills one of our customers SharePoint-Site completely because of code pasta.
Told my supervisor about the bug and reported it.
"yeh. we will fix it now"

2h later they started to go live.
"Did you fix the bug?"
"No. Wanted to have the system live asap."

On my way home I got a call.
"We need you back here in the office"
"Why?"
"It crashed. Is not reachable anymore. Help fixing it"

fuck off

A question to game devs : which design/architecture patterns do you use ?

Everytime I try to take a look at game development, I feel like there is a lack of guidelines, mostly about architecture.

It's something strange to me as a web dev, as we use much of these patterns on a daily basis. Of course I think about the near omnipresence of MVC and its variants, but not just that. Most of frameworks we do use are essentially focused on architecture, and we litterally have access to unlimited tutorials and resources about how to structure code depending on projects types ans needs.

Let's say I want to code a 2D RPG. This has been done millions of time across the world now. So I assume there should be guidelines and patterns about how to structure your code basis and how to achieve practical use-cases (like the best way to manage hero experience for example, or how to code a turn-based battle system). However I feel these are much harder to find and identify than the equivalent guidelines in the web dev world.

And the old-school RPG case is just an example. I feel the same about puzzle games or 3D games... Sure there are some frameworks and tools but they seems to focus more on physics engine and graphic features than code architecture. There are many tutorials too, but they are actually reinforcing my feeling : like if every game developer (at least every game company) has his on guidelines and methods and doesn't share much.

So... Am I wrong ? Hope to.

What are the tools and patterns you can reuse on many projects ? Where can I find proper game architectures guidelines that reached consensus ?

About JS WYSIWYG editors.

When you're working on a project that does require a such editor, which solution do you usually chose and why ?

- existing library (which one ?)
- coding your own
- no fancy editor, just markdown
- no fancy editor, just bbcode or equivalent

tl;dr: What's the best tuto/course for learning webpack ?

I'm mostly a PHP dev, working on my own framework, but I also use more and more JS, and recently some Typescript (and loved it).

But my usual gulp workflow starts to grow old and limited. ES6 modules seems a great improvement while every webpack user seems to say it gives headaches. So what's the best way to start ? ^^

What did the spaghetti say to the other spaghetti? Pasta la vista, baby!

Some of you can probably relate, I've been learning to code since about 13 and it all obviously began with copy pasta code claiming proudly that you would have made it, then there were those kind of dicks which either have proven that you copied the code or pointed out how bad the code was, I've hated those kind of developers.

Welp, I just turned 18 with a lot of experience gained and I really just became that kind of person over the years, no regrets :^)

Not a Rant,

I'm just searching freelancers! I used this site when I was just starting my career. I still have the stickers on my (now old) Notebook I got 2016-ish for having... I don't know how many likes on here (user:chrome).

If one of you knows something about: Laravel, PHP, Bitcoin Core, BTC LN, Ads, Marketing, Social Media, CSS, HTML or JS - hit me up!

Maybe just send a mail to: admin@lahuge.com
I would love to find a team on this site. I hope the Community is still well. Back in the day it was really fun to watch this site grow.

Greetings,
Chrome aka. LaHUGE

PS.: If you're from Germany that's a Plus, but not needed ;P
(copy pasta because this Account is bigger, maybe it helps?)

Installed Ditto not long ago, wouldn't want to work without it anymore.