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Sometime it feels like I'm surrounded with idiots.
Got a Ticket:
Support: Please delete installation ABC from Server D.
Me: Checks everything. Installation is on Server E. Asks if this is correct?
Support: Just follow the instructions!
Me: Okey dokey. If you want me to be a hammer the installation is a nail... Drop database, Remove all files. nuke K8s resources
Support: Why did you delete the installation ABC? You should delete XYZ!
Me: Cause the ticket told to delete ABC on Server D and YOU told me to follow your instructions!
Support: Yeah but we just reused an old ticket. We wanted XYZ deleted!
It's not a big deal I can restore the shit but I hate it if a day starts with this kind of shit!
18 -
I actually hate this job, seems like there's not a single project with decent code abstraction. Everything is a fucking spaghetti like:
```
// we only care about e-mail fields, which are odd
isValid(index) {
if(!(index%2)) {
return true;
}
...
}
```
Like MOTHERFUCKER, WHAT BUSINESS RULE DOES THIS SHITCODE REFLECTS?!?! WHY CAN'T YOU SHITHEADS WRITE PROPER BUSINESS ABSTRACTION RATHER THAN JUST COLLEGE-GRADUATE QUALITY SHITCODE.
FUCKING KILL ME ALREADY I SHOULD HAVE INSTEAD BECAME A PSYCHIC CAUSE I'M SURELY GOOD AT GUESSING WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK THIS FUCKING FUCKCODE INTENDS TO ACHIEVE.
AND YOU CALL YOURSELF TOP-NOTCH DEV CAUSE THIS IS JAVASCRIPT... YOU KNOW WHAT, SHITHEADS LIKE YOU, WHO DON'T KNOW SHIT OTHER THAN GLOBALLING EVERY FUCKING NPM LOCAL PACKAGE IS WHY GOOD ENGINEER LIKE US GET SHIT FROM PHPEPSI ZENDFRAMESHIT FUCKHEADS DEVS.
DO YOU THINK YOUR COMMENT WAS HELPFUL??? DO I LOOK LIKE A BUSINESS GRADUATE FUCKTARD WHO DOESN'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK THE MODULE OPERATOR IS??? I WANT TO KNOW WHY YOU WROTE THAT SHITFUCK INSTEAD OF WHAT IT DOES; THE REASON I'M READING YOUR POORLY WRITTEN MODULE OPERATOR SOAP-OPERA IN THE FIRST PLACE IS CAUSE I KNOW WHAT IT'S DOING, IT'S BREAKING SHIT.
OH AND ONE MORE THING, FUCK YOU FUCK FUCK FUCKSHIT SHITFUCK FUCk11 -
Just a little bit of venting from me (written in GT for speed):
>be me
>apply for a programming job at a local company
>interviewer says that he's impressed with my resume and says that he'll call me
>one week later
>"hey anon, drop by our office, you're hired!"
>hot diggity damn!
>papers say that it's a help desk job
>"oh don't worry about it, it's just that we don't have a programming sector yet"
>wtf the job offer was for programmers but w/e a job is a job is a job
>start working there. Really mineal shit like fixing entries on SQL, resetting modems, etc.
>decide to write a couple of scripts for more mechanical tasks such as gathering .xml for the accountant
>everything is peaches and gravy
>one day the boss calls me into his office
>"hey anon, you're fired!"
>ask him why
>tells me my coworkers ratted me out on the scripts, says that I'm cheating on the job
>ni🅱️🅱️a wut???
>try to explain myself to him but he won't listen
>get fired after 4 months of being the most productive member of the team
That serves me right for trying to be good at my shitty ass job. Oh well.14 -
I have to let it out. It's been brewing for years now.
Why does MySQL still exist?
Really, WHY?!
It was lousy as hell 8 years ago, and since then it hasn't changed one bit. Why do people use it?
First off, it doesn't conform to standards, allowing you to aggregate without explicitly grouping, in which case you get god knows what type of shit in there, and then everybody asks why the numbers are so weird.
Second... it's $(CURRENT_YEAR) for fucks sake! This is the time of large data sets and complex requirements from those data sets. Just an hour through SO will show you dozens of poor people trying to do with MySQL what MySQL just can't do because it's stupid.
Recursion? 4 lines in any other large RDBMS, and tough luck in MySQL. So what next? Are you supposed to use Lemograph alongside MySQL just because you don't know that PostgreSQL is free and super fast?
Window functions to mix rows and do neat stuff? Naaah, who the hell needs that, right? Who needs to find the products ordered by the customer with the biggest order anyway? Oh you need that actually? Well you should write 3-4 queries, nest them in an incredibly fucked up way, summon a demon and feed it the first menstrual blood of your virgin daughter.
There used to be some excuses in the past "but but but, shared hosting only has MySQL". Which was wrong by the way. This was true only for big hosting names, and for people who didn't bother searching for alternatives. And now it's even better, since VPS and PaaS solutions are now available at prices lower than shared hosting, which give you better speed, performance and stability than shared hosting ever did.
"But but but Wordpress uses MySQL" - well then kill it! There are other platforms out there, that aren't just outrageously horrible on the inside and outside. Wordpress is crap, and work on it pays crap. Learn Laravel, Symfony, Zend, or even Drupal. You'll be able to create much more value than those shitty Wordpress sites that nobody ever visits or pay money on.
"But but but my client wants some static pages presented beside their online shop" - so why use Wordpress then? Static pages are static pages. Whip up a basic MVC set-up in literally any framework out there, avoid MySQL, include a basic ACL package for that framework, create a controller where you add a CKEditor to edit page content, and stick a nice template from themeforest for that page and be done with that shit! Save the mock-up for later use if you do that stuff often. Or if you're lazy to even do that, then take up Drupal.
But sure, this is going a bit over the scope. I actually don't care where you insert content for your few pages. It can be a JSON file for all I care. But if I catch you doing an e-commerce solution, or anything else than just text storage, on MySQL, I'll literally start re-assessing your ability to think rationally.11 -
Sometimes I wish I was allowed to just strangle my colleagues...
Example from the 'code base':
try:
do_something()
except Exception as e:
log(e)
do_something()
When I asked why they would redo the same call right after it failed I was told that 'It works the second time because it takes time to raise the Exception '.
Bitch, you've got a race condition in your sensitive banking software. You know it's there. Do you really want to trust the time needed to raise your exception will always be enough to synch that dumpster fire you call code?
Show some fucking respect for your craft and fix that shit. But of course they won't, because it will work flawlessly until it suddenly stops working. Taking down who knows what in this damn, undocumenred monolith with it....
Sometimes I'm honestly afraid to trust banks with my money.7 -
A CMS raping WordPress so hard up the ass till there is no tomorrow. I hate that bastardized piece of fuck. “Hey I want you to fix my page and its wordpress. I pay 20 bucks.“ Well fuck you too sir. Wordpress is no cms you wanna be coders. Get back to your fucking photoshop and design something original! Every fucking wp page looks the same. Every “nice feature“ is some kind of monkeypatched workarround. No problem i set preview pictures for every post just to enable some weird slider to function.
I also love those buttfucked files with just a “require foo“ which also just requires “bar“. Drop that fuck. Implement autoloading. Nobody uses php4 anymore step into the future. “easy to learn“ fuck me and fuck you untill you vomit jizz! Clusterfucked spaghetticode thats easy, easy to put another rotten load of clusterfuck on top. Also those security features. I put an empty index.php to prevent directory traversal. N I C E! Stop using wordpress as CMS, its a blog engine. Nothing great has every been written on top of wordpress and never will. I dare you to deny everything related to it and if you are one of those designer guyd, you can gargle my jizz you fucknut!
Starting 2017 i will start a counter and rape every 10th Wordpress which gets abused as cms i encounter into oblivion on their 0,99$ webhosting shit.
Fuck this I'm so mad about that crap17 -
I hit a milestone in my PhD journey today. I wrote my advisor an "I'm so done with this shit" e-mail for the first time!17
-
I'm done with f/e. I so fucking hate it .
I fucking hate implementing weird highly animated websites designed by gurus
I fucking hate making them accessible.
I hate working on weird code generated by my coworkers and jump on projects with 0 specs.
I fucking hate this whole bloatware called javascript.
I fucking hate morons who think they know it all.
I'm fucking disgusted by the job market with their whole job specs ( Oh you don't have 5 year experience in some fucking stupid library I don't give a flying fuck. Too bad, we can't hire you )
And most importantly I fucking hate the day I chose f/e development instead of smth else.
Now at 29 I'm fucking stuck with this shit with no energy and patience to learn something else or at least jump on b/e or anything that is not related to web dev or js.
Sorry for so many fuckings but I had a breakdown.
Love ya.25 -
There was a time I made an update on one of our client's e-commerce website sign-up page. The update caused a bug that allowed new users to create an account without actually creating an account.
The code block meant to save user credentials (i.e email address and password) to the database was commented out for some reasons I still can't remember to this day. After registration new users had their session created just as normal but in reality they have no recorded account on the platform. This shit went on like this for a whole week affecting over 350 new customers before the devil sent me a DM.
I got a call from my boss on that weekend that some users who had made purchases recently can't access their account from a different device and cannot also update their password. Nobody likes duty calls on a weekend, I grudgingly and sluggishly opened up my PC to create a quick fix but when I saw what the problem was I shut down my PC immediately, I ran into the shower like I was being chased by a ghost, I kept screaming "what tha fuck! what tha fuck!!" cus I knew hell was about to break loose.
At that moment everything seemed off as if I could feel everything, I felt the water dripping down my spine, I could hear the tiniest of sound. I thought about the 350 new customers the client just lost, I imagined the raving anger on the face of my boss, I thought about how dumb my colleagues would think I was for such a stupid long running bug.
I wondered through all possible solutions that could save me from this embarrassment.
-- "If this shitty client would have just allowed us verify users email before usage things wouldn't have gotten to this extent"
-- "Should I call the customers to get their email address using their provided telephone?... No they'd think I'm a scammer"
-- "Should I tell my boss the database was hacked? Pffft hack my a**",
-- "Should I create a page for the affected users to re-verify their email address and password? No, some sessions may have expired"
-- "Or maybe this the best time to quit this f*ckn job!"
... Different thoughts from all four corners of the bathroom made it a really long bath. Finally, I decided it was best I told my boss what had happened. So I fixed the code, called my boss the next day and explained the situation on ground to him and yes he was furious. "What a silly mistake..!" he raged and raged. See me in my office by Monday.
That night felt longer than usual, I couldn't sleep properly. I felt pity for the client and I blamed it all on myself... yeah the "silly mistake", I could have been more careful.
Monday came boss wasn't at the office, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday not available. Next week he was around and when we both met the discussion was about a different project. I tried briefing him about last week incident, he seems not to recall and demands we focus on the current project.
However, over three hundred and fifty customers swept under the carpet courtesy of me. I still felt the guilt of that f*ck up till this day.1 -
Alright, so the "big e-commerce" site have ranted about a few times decided to move their site to google, because the developers blame our server to be the issue.
Well, I wish I had a couple of beer to drink while I am enjoying the downtime, servercrashes, and timeout on the site now. I hope the devs eat their own shit, because they are. -
A brief, and biased opinion of what love is in the dev world:
Love is my employees bringing me something to eat when they know I stay back so that they can all go out do whatever they can do.
Love is my CMS admin getting his ass up and walking all the way to my office when the director walks in to say some STUPID FUCKING SHIT to me that he(CMS Admin) knows would have me 2 fucking seconds away from getting out of my chair and drop kicking the fuck out of him.
Love is the rest of my employees getting up to follow along in case(certainly) one dude is not able to hold me down.
Love is them knowing that I know that their mere presence there will make me chill the fuck out and not choke the fucking director
Love is the CMS Admin proof reading every email I send to a bitch that was trying to get smart, to make sure that I was not being agressive.
Love is said CMS Admin bringing me coffee or a coke congratulating me on listening to him about X email not being aggressive (there is no passive in my vocabulary, just balls out "isn't this your fucking job" aggressive)
Love is my lead developer showing to work after medical treatment fucked up as all hell because he knows that if he is not there I will do a billion things myself in order to give him some rest.
Love is taking my CMS admin and lead dev out to eat when a major stakeholder shits on something I damn well know it took them a while to finish. Love is also letting me open up to said stakeholder to tell them how much of a fucktard they are, sometimes they let me loose, and I appreciate that.
Love is every small person in the company approaching you to tell you of their issues, becuase they care more about the productivity they give to their users, rather than the bullshit numbers their managers care about.
Love is the staff of other places taking care of you because you are not a VP dickhead that treats them like shit.
Love is the HR reps sending you personal e-mails asking you for help because their shitbag of a boss does not count for help and leaves them in the blank with shit software, for which said HR go above and beyond for you later on even though said shitbag manager said no.
Love is your team getting angry and responding respectfully at people when they talk shit about their manager on their emails (manager being me)
Love is your employees closing your door for you when they know you are overwhelmed and you need a quick second to pull yourself up.
Love is not wanting to leave this miserable place because you know some dickweed will be left in charge of the people that care for you, trust you, work for you regardless of the date, and confide in you.
They got me locked in, this shitty institution, for now. Until I find a way to bring my entire team with me.8 -
OK heavy rant on 'modern' software development coming! --> don't take it to seriously though :-)
Electron... why does that shit exist? It is like stacking all the worst technologies available to mankind into an enormous pile of crap and polishing that turd to look like something wonderful. It is big, slow and overall AWFUL!
An example? ... Microsoft Teams :-( it burns your PC like fire and makes it squeal for mercy.
When a library/framework becomes the ultimate evolution of abstraction layer upon abstraction layer and it simply should stop to exist and a reset button needs to be pressed.
I would love to see some research on the real world environmental impact that all those shitty slow and bloated web technologies have.
Solution:
Software energy label!
C, C++ and Rust e.t.c. and all accompanying efficient UI libraries should be the only languages/implementations allowed to get a A, B and C label.
Python (without C libraries like Numpy), JavaScript and all those other slow interpreted scripting/Web API nonsense should get a D, E or F label by default.
Have fun!12 -
My girlfriend configuring her e-mail account in the app because her phone had to be reset to factory :
-I can't figure out how to do these setting, annoying...
-Oh yeah the imap and smtp servers can be tricky, let me put that
(I Google the settings for her mail provider and put them in)
-It still doesn't work.
-Uuuh, maybe with another security setting, try it.
-This shit still doesn't work, seriously my phone is broken.
-Have you verified the e-mail address and carefully typed the password?
-Yes of course, I've tried it several time
(I take the phone and check all the parameters... During a looooong time... Until it hits me.)
-Hmm... Can you read the e-mail you've entered?
-Yeah, it's my mail, blabla@hotmail.com.
-No can you read it again please?
-It's blabla, why?
-No, can you *spell* your e-mail?
-Yeah it's B-L-A-B-L-A-@-H-O-M-A... Ow shit...
- ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ -
I think my days as a dev are over
shit fuck!!!!
All i know is writing code, schematics, systems recommendations
Was given a tender doc for a project
the doc was in 2 parts "Technical" & "Financial"
I HAVE NEVER DONE A TENDER BEFORE and little did i know a shit load of documents are required
MY BOSS GOT FURIUS SINCE I DIDNT COMPILE ALL DOCS and 1 required doc was expired tried to get it renewed and renewal will take 3 week or 1 month and deadline was in 2 hours time
FUCK!!!!
F U C K M E ! ! ! ! !15 -
Holy fucking shit! What the actual fuck is this?!!!
The funny part: this is not the worst e-mail I got from them, the person who is responsible for these e-mails should have been fired 2 years ago.
7 -
Worst interview rejection?
I've got one. It was for a pretty good e-commerce company.
*It was 4th and final round*
Interview panel: If you were to implement the bidding kind of feature in our website/app like eBay has, how would you do it? Explain both HLD and LLD
Me: *Started selling my shit*
Panel: Did you ever bid for something on eBay?
Me: No
Panel: I'll get in touch with you. You can leave now.
😎2 -
!rant && rant
I've been doing random HTML/CSS/JS crap since I was 11 (I'm 20 now). And worked with NodeJS/Swift/Java/Typescript for the past 4 years. For some reason, I've always been interested in public transit and the combination between public transit and Development seemed magical to me. I've tried making Departure time apps and trip planners for a few years now. And for that you need open data, for which we have a national data source and a Google Group for support with that.
I quit my study two years ago after a year doing nothing and I was on the edge of getting into depression because I didn't do anything useful for two years. Didn't see myself do anything useful in the next few years apart from some random dev crap (still public transit related).
About half a year ago I ranted on that Google Group about shit being not efficient (weird standards, weird documentation but mostly lack thereof).
For some reason a business saw that rant and sent me an email about two months ago and told me they 'potentially' had 'some' work for me. So I had some really informal conversations with that business but I still was very insecure about myself (had some shitty experience with tons of unfinished projects) and I was worried that they had higher expectations for me than what I could give them.
A week later I received an e-mail with a proposal for an actual, full-time job as a back-end developer and obviously took the opportunity.
I started a month ago with a month-long probation period and after three weeks told me I had passed the probation period.
I'm a super happy boy right now. I got a job, being super insecure, without any certifications, without finishing school (Everyone in the Netherlands tells you you NEED a diploma to get a job), more than double minimum wage (minimum wage is quite high in the Netherlands), and most important, at a business that does a lot of public transit stuff.
Apparently ranting about stuff, not finishing your school and being depressed gives you a well-paid job. :)5 -
TL;DR: If you make a contest where people get to vote online fucking make it right!
And here's the story: I play in a local coverband to make some cash on the side and because I love making music. We entered a contest hosted by a local radio-station. The first round was determined by judges and now 5 bands remain and of those 5 only 3 get to be voted into the final round. In the final round every bands wins something: 3rd place 250€, 2nd place 750€ and first place 5000€.
Now that stupid dipshit of a web-designer of that radio-station made a website where you can vote and it only fucking sets a cookie. You can delete it and vote again. You don't need no E-Mail and nothing. It doesn't even block multiple votes from one IP. It doesn't do shit.
Even my bandmates (who don't work in IT) where smart enough to figure out that you can just delete the cookies...
I think that now every band except for one is cheating. (we have over 5000 votes and combined all bands have like 4000 FB-Likes and sometimes and Band gets like 400 more votes in an hour) This is such a fucking messup and I don't know what to do. Maybe they'll look into stats but if they're so stupid to make a contest like this in the first place, maybe they won't. And even if they look into the stats it wouldn't be fair to kick out a band with much votes because how the fuck would they know if the band themselves cheated or if it was a fan of the band or even an enemy of the band just to get them kicked out.
I'm afraid of talking to the radio-station as a part of one band because maybe the web-designer there just gets frustrated and bans us from the contest entirely.
This is just fucking frustrating.5 -
When will I fuckin learn that
a) customers lie
b) customers are sloppy
c) customers are wrong
d) customers do not do their work (properly)
e) customers want us to do their (dirty) work
f) possibly all of the freakinly above?! + khm....
They will fuckin aaaalwaaaays say sth is not working after the update..
And I will alwaaaays assume I fucked up something..even if I didn't touch that part of the code/data..
And almost aaaaalways it turns out that the bug they complain about is how the system worked (or didn't work) before the update and/or some fuckup from their side..
Anyhow, I rushed over, grabbed the files went testing in dev..wtf, output is different, mine is ok, theirs is..wtf is that shit?!
Transfer newly built dll to test..same shit as on prod..wtf?! How?!
I assumed they have thing A correctly linked to thing B.. ofc thing A was linked to thing C in their case and in another case (our test) to correct thing B..
I got chillies when grabbing files, that
I should have tripple checked that they didn't fuck up something on the link part, but I just assumed they know what they were doing & that they checked they linked correct files with correct content already, before being pissy that the update fucked up things.. riiiight!! :/
I wanted to find solutions to this fuckup asap so I disregarded my gut feeling..yet again!! Fuuuck!
I've spent too much time trying to find ways to fix a bug that wasn't even a real bug to begin with.. :/
Fuuuuuck!!
So yeah, always treat the customers like they are 3yrs old & have no clue what they are doing & check exactly wtf they were indeed trying to do..it will save you time & nerves..
And note to self: reread this shit daily!! And imprint it in your brain that everything is not always your fault!!11 -
I was unemployed and had to sent out 10 or so job applications per month to e eligible to receive the money substitution for unemployment...
Anyways, not many jobs fit my experience, so I was sending out to those with higher/different requirements aswel.. That day I was meeting my sister and she was already waiting for me, so I quickly sent out a totally unpersonalised application for a job I wasn't qualified for. Next day I got back response email with a self grading questionaire I didn't really understood, all about MS technologies I never worked with..which means I didn't know how to grade myself..I decided to ask around people to try to help me grade myself, but then I totally forgot about that in the next days and never replied to that email.
Anyways, week later I got email for job interview from a sister company (found that out later, snooping through linkedin). I was surprised someone requested a meeting with me, especially without the agenda (at that time I was not aware it was a job interview).. Anyways I went there, found out the guy interviewing me thought they lost my questionaire. I explined the situation and he just decided to ask me around to see what I know. So we talked about my past experience and the guy who was doing the interview explained what is what & and explained what I did before and together we figured out what I know and what my experiences are... After we were done, he said that everything else, the payment and other stuff about the job position I should discuss with the director. Not to ask questions, but negotiate.. O.o And just like that I got the job, because they liked my CV & attitude (I like to learn new stuff) and they thought I'd fit in perfectly.
I'm still working there, it's been 4 years now, I think.. loved it since the day one.. Got 'promoted' to another project, crappy old code noone wants/dares to touch but I love it! The guys think I am weird cuz I like to solve/fix things and make them better, and previous employees who worked on that project have all lost their shit and quit. They are all wondering how I can handle this, but little do they know about devrant & my love for the crazy!!2 -
FUCK ME!!
For a job, I have to create a form with more than 20 fields!! FUCK!!
The most shitty part is that I need to gather all the shit users fill in (if they even fill it in) and place in a shitty e-mail and send that to the client!! FUCK!!16 -
I am very frustrated today and I do not know where to "scream" so I will post this here since I believe you will know how I feel.
Here's the case...
I am developing an e-commerce web application where we sell industrial parts. So my boss told me on March that when we are going to show these parts, we should not show Part Number to visitors because they will steal our information.
Ok, this makes sense but there was a problem.
The Primary Key for these products in our internal system is a string which is the Part Number itself.
I told him on March that we have to come up with another unique number for all the products that we are selling, so this unique number will be the primary key, not the Part Number. This will be best because I will be dependent from the original Part Number itself. And in every meeting he said "That is not priority". So I kept developing the part using the original Part Number as primary key and hid is from the web app. (But the Part Number still shows on URL or on search because this is how my boss designed the app.)
I built the app and is on a test server. Until one of out employees asked my boss: "There is no unique number or Part Number. How are the clients going to reference these parts? If a client buys 20 products and one of those has a problem, how is he going to tell us which products has a problem?"
My boss did not know what to say, and later said to me that I was right and primary key was priority.
I really hate when a guy that knows shit from developing does not listen to suggestions given by developers.
FUCK MY LIFE!
I'm sorry if you did not understand anything.6 -
try {
// something
} catch (SomeException e) {
}
Swallowed Exception.. what the fuck is wrong with you?! And I see this shit in a lot of places in the code!7 -
Reasons why I hate the hospital I work for...
1. NO fucking budget, for fuck sakes our telecom system is still running Merlin Magix. (I’ve been working on getting the trunk and everything to at least push FreePBX out... Configuration configuration.) but, that requires a decent server to host said system... But guess what? We’ve still got a few servers online that are running server 2012 r2. NO FUCKING BUDGET.
2. Training. They don’t have the budget to send me to training, but the doctors here are rolling in Mercedes... Must be fucking nice.
3. I have 5 f-I-v-e job descriptions. I’m a bio medical technician, network admin, system admin, programmer, and help desk... I fucked up allowing them to know I program.
4. On call 365 days a year. That’s nice and all, but when I’ve got shit to do and the nearest Walmart is an hour away I don’t want a call from Louis “oh the printer has a jam” FUCK OFF LOUIS! Get the paper out, we’ve been over this, I believe in you!
5. Some of the FUCKING (l)users.... You wouldn’t imagine some of the calls I receive, some of my favorite being late late “Hey *anonyops* I know it’s late but we’re needing a chair moved from one room to the other.” FUCK YOU YOU CHEEKY FUCKING CUNT.
The only reason I’m still here is my direct supervisor and a hand full of people that I’ve grown to love. Also, because any computer related job here is either outsourced or filled by a YouTubing god. - reason 1 why I started my own business. Supply and demand.
Rural Kansas Hospitals = shit, inb4 thanks —insert president to blame—20 -
This day I have received the most glorious news in e-pistolary form. For some years, I was suffering in support of a client who was, well, insufferable. My presence there paralleled the divine comedy in both essence and fact.
I opened the missive, expecting another plea to bail them out of whatever clusterfuck they found themselves in. Instead, what I found was something truly magical.
"Hey Human,
I hope this finds you well. I'm not sure if you remember a few years back, we were trying to decide between IBM Cloud and AWS. Well, after years of battling FF*, we're finally moving ahead with AWS. He failed one too many times to deliver anything visibly. After you left, there was no one left he could use to steal credit, ideas, and work.
FF is still pushing to have them use IBM cloud as a "warm backup" in the event "AWS fails." We will see where that goes.
I figured you'd like to know; you were the void in the wilderness for a long time. I don't want to think about how much time we could have saved if we had just listened.
PeeEm**"
This event represents a personal victory, albeit belated, over a few peoples' absurd amount of privilege. Towards the end, I was vicious about my contestation to the insanity of adopting a desperate hedge attempt-as-cloud offering from a failing company. Some examples:
// cloud 'strategy meeting'
Moi: What cloud platform are we looking at using?
FF: We're looking at IBM cloud and AWS as a second.
Moi: Why is that? I understand you're obligated to rep your offering first, but that decision doesn't seem to have the customer's best interest at heart.
FF: IBM cloud is a market leader; AWS isn't as good.
Moi: I see. I mean, that's the tech equivalent of the company's fleet management considering monkeys on tricycles as a strong competitor to service trucks, but I get what you mean.
// steering meeting
Director: Who can we look to as an example? Who is currently using the IBM cloud?
Moi: No one; they account for a single-digit portion of the actual cloud market. Their long game to sell you a "Hybrid Cloud," which means put some front end payload in a CDN, and buy n-frame units of IBM z servers for the DC with IBM gateway appliances acting as connective tissue. So it's not the cloud at all, really.
Director: How does it compare in cost?
Moi: It's generally 40% more expensive than other clouds, and it only goes higher as you option their software.
Director: What about Watson? I hear Watson is good?
Moi: It's a brand name. Most of the "Watson" product is just a facade on top of FOSS products like Spark, Hadoop, Elasticsearch, etc.
Director: Those were words. They sounded good. FF say it's good tho so we'll believe him because we're from the same city.
Moi: *deletes Director from LinkedIn*
Moral of the story: Never trust a vendor that only recommends their products.
*FF = FatFuck - an embarrassingly rotund individual whose girth is roughly equivalent to his height. He shit his way into an IBM architect position in his mid-20s purely due to winning the visa lottery. He had fake hair glued to his head for his wedding to hide his male pattern baldness; his arrange-married wife undoubtedly cries herself to sleep after sex.
**PeeEm - the then project manager, now portfolio manager of some satellite projects. An overall decent human being, capable.9 -
My dad got this scammy E-Mail today...
The strange thing was, the sender and recipient were the same address, but I'll get back to that.
Unfortunately, I can't show it to you, but it said something like this:
"As you can see, I wrote this E-Mail from *YOUR* address. I have hacked your Account. Please pay me 300$ in bitcoin to this address: (address here) ..."
You get the point.
Now... my dad was pretty worried about the Account actually beeing hacked. One of his coworkers also got the same E-Mail. I told him that it's easy to fake the 'From' Header of an E-Mail, at least with the mail command on Linux. So I ssh'd into one of my Servers and sent him an E-Mail from lol@lol.de. Obviously, he didn't expect it to be that easy. Now he believes me that this is a scam and will tell his coworkers tomorrow.
From what I read in that E-Mail there was no part about recipient specific stuff, so I guess someone just wrote one text and made a simple bash Script for that... as you can see, people really do fall for this shit.
Now one question: is there a way to track down the Servers the E-Mail went through? Or is there anything one can do, apart from ignoring it?10 -
NO. NO. A THOUSAND TIMES: NO.
I clicked on this out of genuine curiosity to see if someone was finally trying to discourage people from annoying the shit out of website visitors. A summary of the suggestions in their article as to what to use popups for:
1. Announce new products/services, features, policy updates, new blog posts
2. Promote your sales or coupons (including countdowns)
3. Encourage people to input their e-mail address / subscribe, perhaps also offering some vague thing they will get as a reward for doing so
4. Contact forms (e.g. support etc.)
5. Prompt visitors to confirm their age before showing content
6. Login/register forms
7. Display social media "share" buttons when a visitor has scrolled a certain way through the page content.
8. Display cookie consent prompt.
9. Help guide visitors to the part of the website they want to go to.
Of these: 1, 2, 3, and 7 need to die for sure. If a website does any of these things I'm inclined to immediately leave and never return. 8 is a little annoying but seems a necessity.
Someone even replied to the Tweet saying that popups are annoying, the company responded with "let's change that!"
Blank portions of the screenshot are to avoid promoting the company unintentionally as a result of the rant ;)
3 -
Gender Bending For Fun and Profit.
I love how in the 'make your avatar' area, if you select female, and then click facial hair, theres nothing to select from.
Like a massive fuck you to every gender bending "down with meritocracy" purple haired dicksniffer in sanfran.
Also I'm sorely disappoint for desk items, theres no
1. giant dildos
2. anime figures/weeb shit
3. mini monoliths (I asked the site devs about this, they replied "we can't do that dave.")
4. a shirtless option for my female avatar
5. edgy scrolling numbers and code, like in the matrix
6. hoodies. They're the modern leather jacket.
7. Big nasty gnarly biker beard which I'm currently in the process of growing. How am I supposed to intimidate other anonymous cowards and mock them over the size of their beard compared to my own avatar's e-beard size? It's quiet girthy and lengthy, I assure you!
This is completely unrelated, but I thought devducks were like quick one-off debug sessions that could be bought from other devrant users.
I was disappointed when I discovered it was just merch.
On the otherhand I'm glad as fuck it's not. Site would be flooded by broken-english speaking goat humping dickheads.
How am I supposed to show off my ability to code with completely unrelated avatar change ups when no one will allow me to emasculate my avatar?16 -
Look, I get that it's really tricky to assess whether someone is or isn't skilled going solely by their profile.
That's alright.
What isn't center of the cosmic rectum alright with the fucking buttsauce infested state of interviews is that you give me the most far fetched and convoluted nonsense to solve and then put me on a fucking timer.
And since there isn't a human being on the other side, I can't even ask for clarification nor walk them through my reasoning. No, eat shit you cunt juice swallowing mother fucker, anal annhilation on your whole family with a black cock stretching from Zimbabwe to Singapore, we don't care about this "reasoning" you speak of. Fuck that shit! We just hang out here, handing out tricks in the back alley and smoking opium with vietnamese prostitutes, up your fucking ass with reason.
Let me tell you something mister, I'm gonna shove a LITERAL TON of putrid gorilla SHIT down your whore mouth then cum all over your face and tits, let's see how you like THAT.
Cherry on top: by the time I began figuring out where my initial approach was wrong, it was too late. Get that? L'esprit d'escalier, bitch. I began to understand the problem AFTER the timer was up. I could solve it now, except it wouldn't do me any fucking good.
The problem? Locate the topmost 2x2 block inside a matrix whose values fall within a particular range. It's easy! But if you don't explain it properly, I have to sit down re-reading the description and think about what the actual fuck is this cancerous liquid queef that just got forcefully injected into my eyes.
But since I can't spend too much time trying to comperfukenhend this two dollar handjob of a task, which I'd rather swap for teabagging a hairy ass herpes testicle sack, there's rushing in to try and make sense of this shit as I type.
So I'm about 10 minutes down or so already, 35 to go. I finally decipher that I should get the XY coords of each element within the specified range, then we'll walk an array of those coordinates and check for adjacency. Easy! Done, and done.
Another 10 minutes down, all checks in place. TEST. Wait, wat? Where's the output? WHERE. THE FUCK. IS. THE OUTPUT?! BITCH GIMME AN ANSWER. I COUT'D THE RETURN AND CAN SEE THE TERMINAL BUT ITS NOT SHOWING ME ANYTHINGGG?! UUUGHHH FUCKKFKFKFKFKFKFKFUFUFUFFKFK (...)
Alright, we have about 20 minutes left to finish this motorsaw colonoscopy, and I can't see what my code is outputting so I'm walking through the code myself trying to figure out if this will work. Oh, look at that I have to MANUALLY click this fucking misaligned text that says "clear" in order for any new output to register. Lovely, 10/10 web design, I will violate your armpits with an octopus soaked in rabid bear piss.
Mmmh, looks like I got this wrong. Figures. I'm building the array of coordinates sequentially, as a one dimentional list, which is very inconvenient for finding adjacent elements. No problem, let's try and fix that aaaaaand... SHIT IM ALMOST OUT OF TIME.
QUICK LYEB, QUICK!! REMEMBER WHAT FISCELLA TAUGHT YOU, IN BETWEEN MOLESTING YOUR SOUL WITH 16-BIT I/O CONSOLE PROBLEMS, LIKE THAT BITCH SNOWFALL THING YOU HAD TO SOLVE FOR A FRIEND USING TURBO C ON A FUCKING TOASTER IN COMPUTER LAB! RUN MOTHERFUCKER RUN!!!
I'm SWEATING. HEAVILY. I'm STEAMING, NON-EROTICALLY. Less than 10 minutes left. I'm trying to correct the code I have, but I start making MORE dumbfuck mistakes because I'm in a hurry!
5 minutes left. As I hit this point of no return, I realize exactly where my initial reasoning went wrong, and how I could fix it, but I can't because I don't have enough time. Sadface.
So I hastily put together skeleton of the correct implementation, and as the clock is nearly up, I write a comment explaining the bits I can't get to write. Page up, top of file, type "the editor was shit LMAO" and comment it out. SUBMIT.
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Also hi ;>5 -
*flashback to days of windows xp*
Just finished formatting and installing xp on friend's trash pc cuz the os was compromised due to a shitload of viruses. Notice that other partitions might still be infected and i don't have an antivirus on me.
"Big boi Ill be back in an hour, just whatever you do, don't open ANY drives no matter how urgent it is. Just Don't do it or i won't be able to help you"
Come back and VIOLA this worthless trash avocado opened a drive to play a game and d pc was infected. Again. Back to square one. It almost broke my heart. Almost.
I remember that day well. I was 15yo and hopeful. That day marks d start of my hatred toward tech incompetent people.
SO FKIN
A N G E R Y
So today
College
My classmates stink of incompetence. I'm not that smart in fact i consider myself to be a noob among devs but seeing ppl that are several order of magnitudes trashier than me breaks my heart and makes me soo Fkin
A N G E R Y
Hey you cunt of a skunk, WHY can't you even compile a fkin cpp file without an IDE what the fuck is wrong with you? What do u mean ur program isn't compiling? Well it literally says there syntax error on line 15 congrats u moron u fkin spelled else as esle. Why shud I waste my time on stupid Shitty ppl like u huh?
And waddup mr shithead.No. Not gonna help you partition ur drives and install a fkin linux just cuz ur too lazy to google it urself.
And if i refuse to help cuz im working on my shit then I AM D BAD GUY? Stop bitching about me u lazy bastards get ur lazy arse off and read the fkin book. Watch a tutorial or sm shit why the fuck can't u understand YOU LITERALLY PAY TO COME HERE AND YOU AREN'T EVEN TRYING TO LEARN THE BASICS GOOD LUCK GETTING A JOB YOU WORTHLESS CUNTS.
Now now all the poison is out i can finally focus on improving myself and stop giving a fuck about them. Its hard to be calm and cool when ur surrounded by ppl like this all day. Even harder when there is almost noone that you can look upto. All this time, there's only one thing I've learnt- in a place like dis, being an asshole is better dan being polite.3 -
I’m fairly new to maintaining my own webservers. For the past week the servers (two of them) kept crashing constantly.
After some investigation I figured it was due to someone running a script trying to get ssh access.
I learned about fail2ban, DOS and DDOS attacks and had quite a fight configuring it all since I had 20 seconds on average between the server shutdowns and had to use those 20 second windows to configure fail2ban bit by bit.
Finally after a few hours it was up and running on both servers and recognized 380 individual IPs spamming random e-mail / password combos.
I fet relieved seeing that it all stopped right after fail2ban installation and thought I was safe now and went to sleep.
I wake up this morning to another e-mail stating that pinging my server failed once again.
I go back to the logs, worried that the attack became more sophisticated or whatever only to see that the 06:25 cronjob is causing another fucking crash. I can’t figure out why.
Fuck this shit. I’m setting another cronjob to restart this son of a bitch at 06:30.
I’m done.3 -
Warning: w-rated for "wordpress", s-rated for "stupidity"
Yesterday in the morning I receive an E-Mail from a designer guy that we should update a plugin in a client's WP because their visual composer in the backend doesn't seem to work anymore.
My boss confirms the task. I'm fucked.
The anger in me rises.
So I try the Wordpress login, it works. I create a backup with Duplicator and run it locally. 2 hours later I found a solution so I want to upload the files to Abominationpress.
BUT THE FUCKING FTP LOGIN DOES NOT WORK...
I write him back asking for the correct login data. 24 hours later he writes me back the exact same username and password.
THANK YOU YOU LOBOTOMIZED BRAIN-AMPUTATED IDIOT.
It already gave me cancerherpes when he mentioned WP, but this shit is just fucking too much.
Now waiting for the response.5 -
!(!(!(!(!(!(!(!rant)))))))
My new HTC smartphone hates me.
First it started to shut down all of the sudden yesterday night, when I was solving quadratic equations on my laptop.
I thought that it might be due to low battery. So I have restarted it. After putting itself into a bootloop for 4 start sequences, it was able to fully start to the page where it told me to enter the security pin to decrypt my files. I also had 30 attempts left. Like a ransomware.
I was like "tf I didn't set anything up".
So I decided to use my first attempt as I had 30 attempts left.
I entered the pin (I can swear that it's correct) and it told me that it has to wipe the /data partition.
I did that. I pressed that button. After waiting for 30 minutes I gave up and rebooted into the bootloader.
Bootloader -> Download Mode -> wipe /data (stock rom + stock recovery btw.)
Some error with "e: mount /cache failed[...]e: mount /data failed"
So, I tried using the adb sideload - no success.
Fastbooted into RUU Mode - HTC keeps rebooting itself into the RUU Mode - no success
Tried to flash the firmware and twrp recovery from Download mode - no success
Then I tried to flash all these things from the sd card - no success
Searched for revolutionary (I know this from my old HTC sensation device).
It wasn't big of any help.
Then someone on xda recommended htcDev (htc's <b>developer-friendly</b> lol site)
I followed every step. Everything seemed to be okay.
I got to the last step.
I needed to get my encrypted token by entering "fastboot oem get_identifier_token" to be able to submit it to HTC, and after they would send me an e-Mail with an .bin file that would let me unlock the bootloader to be able to flash my way through all this headache giving fucking piece of dog shit!
But since I can't back to the phone settings to select the bootloader activation box that would let me get my token... but nah.
FML
------------
Sent by using the devRant web app (:\)8 -
We have a badly out of shape but functional product , the result of a "if its not broke don't fix it" mentality. The only thing manangement cares is our next release and making meetings to plan other meetings...
Now comes the time of the security Audit (PCI)...
Manager : oh noooo the audit will fix this issue, quickkk fix it !
Us : welllll its a lengthy process but doable, we just gotta do a,b,c,d,e . Part a is essentially what we need the rest are refactoring bits of the system to support part a since the performance would be shit otherwise
Manager: can you do part a before the audit starts ?
Us: yep.
Manager: do it . Oh and pop those other issues on JIRA so we can track em
Audit completed....
Manager: so we got through ok?
Us : 👍 yep
Manager: okayy, take those other issues..... and stick em at the bottom of the back log...
Us : huh ? *suspicious faces*..... okay but performance is gonna be poor with the system as it is cuz of part A....
Manager: yeaaahhh * troll face* ....about that.... roll it back and stick that too at the bottom of the log. We got to focus our next release. Lemme schedule a meeting for that 😊
Us : faceplam4 -
Sorry I haven't been as active lately, however this is one of the better prompts, so I feel I should have it in my track record. Beware, it's a long one...
Let's trace the roots: My uncle was building desktops and he told my dad he'd build him one if my dad paid him for the components. These days I know builds aren't rocket science, but back then my parents didn't do their research. So my dad paid him.
Give or take some time, and most of the parts are complete. He underestimated the prices of a few things and had to ask for $200 more to complete the build. This...caused my dad to explode.
Later, I heard my dad ranting to my stepmom in January 2017 about how the last convo he had with his brother was a "Fuck-you conversation" - it was the last because my uncle had died in 2003.
Flash forward to March 2017. My mom and I are sitting in a Fazoli's, a nice sunset out of the full-length windows. I had to probe. HAD TO.
"You promise you won't tell your dad I told you this?" she asked.
"You know Kellie and I can't stand to be around him." I replied.
As the story goes, that last "Fuck-you conversation"? Over a fucking measly $200. Yup, the last conversation between my dad and his brother to ever happen was a shouting match over a relatively short amount of money. I wish I could say my dad had remorse, but he doesn't. He still talks shit. He's also technologically illiterate, so I doubt there was a way his brother was going to be able to reason with him.
In late 2003, my uncle, who had been a smoker, passed away due to cardiac arrest. The build was still not finished. This was one of the OTHER things that I have mixed feelings about.
After my uncle passed, my aunt paid someone to finish the build and get it shipped to my dad. We'll get back to why I feel this is fucked up, stay tuned...
---------
It's Spring 2004. I'm in the last half of what I think is Kindergarten or some shit...too lazy to do the math. Anyway, my dad announces we have a family computer - however, I couldn't read yet. That didn't stop the waste of oxygen that is my father from going in the Windows XP screensavers and putting text in that said "GAGE MORGAN WILL NOT TOUCH THIS COMPUTER." He's such a fuckin' dick, now AND back then.
My mom had an issue with this. I don't know why, but she did. Later, I was slowly taught how to use the mouse, under heavy supervision. Then I went to my grandma's house. She taught me one very specific thing on her old Win98 (386, maybe? IDK my old hw shit man), and because I know you guys are gonna love this one:
"The blue "e" opens up your games!"
The blue "e" does not open up your games, it opens something that can lead to your games.
I went home and tried this...without permission. My dad came down and discovered my lollygagging on the homepage - this is fucking weird. It was before Nextel, IIRC, so Sprint's logo was red still. Yes, we had broadband from Sprint. I don't know what saga led to that going the way of the dodo, but...
Back on track, I literally got my pants pulled down and had my bare bottom beat. He was gonna drag my ass upstairs and lock me in my room, but before he could, he accidentally slammed MY FUCKING RIGHT TEMPLE into the corner of a hardwood table at the bottom of the staircase.
The wailing that resulted probably was different than the previous form, which is probably what got my mom involved. My dad had a way of going too far, and in retrospect I'm more terrified now of what could've happened than I was then.
Later, I was given access to games in the form of my own account and bookmarks bar. That wasn't the end of the madness/drama from my use of that machine, but it was the earliest form.
Ever since Kindergarten, that one fateful day, I've been defying any/all imposed limitations on tech set on me by my parents...well, not anymore, but literally grades K-12. I'm living on my own, aka "adulting" now. It sucks more than you think, man.
---------
Let's tie this up before I reach the limit. I said I thought it was fucked up when my aunt paid to have the build finished and shipped to us after my uncle's death.
Yes, my aunt's intervention led to me ultimately majoring in computer science.
That doesn't change the fact that she shouldn't have done it.
My dad was an asshole to her husband, who passed. She is ultimately too caring. I don't think my jackass father should've been able to get by with that, he didn't deserve the freebie. Someone else should've told him his brother did in fact need that $200.
I haven't seen her IRL since the funeral when my grandpa passed in 2005. 2006 spelled the end of my parents' marriage.
Hope you guys enjoyed this - it's only a small segment of how I got to where I am now - tiny, actually.2 -
I used to work with a teacher in my last uni year.
The job consisted on doing a kinda-like management system for a business. It all began kinda "right", we agreed upon a price for 6 months of my work (a very lowball price, but it was just right because I was learning stuff that we were going to be using).
Fast-forward first six months, all I do is code frontend, mockup screens and whatsoever because this "business" hadn't give us proper requirements (Yeah, I told him to ask for them, but nothing came through).
So I was like well, I'll keep working in this project because I really want to finish it. Sidenote: I was doing all the "hard work", he didn't know how to code, and he calls himself a teacher... wtf).
Months go by, and a year goes round, in between these months, he spoke to me, that he wanted me that we kept working together, that we could renegotiate the payment (I asked him to give me my payment once the job was done). I agreed, but my uni residence period was coming along and I got an oportunity to go abroad to another country.
So there I was, in the need of money to buy my passport, plane tickets and other stuff, so I asked him for the payment.
Needs to be noted, that the last 6 months work was me doing tutorials on how to fucking use Linux, how to use PostgreSQL, how to fucking use CSS! He told me he would pay me extra for it.
The day came, and I received my payment... the exact amount we talked a year ago, I was like "Seriously dude?", but well, I needed the money and I didn't have time to argue, so we talked a little bit about me helping him and I told him "As long as I have time, I'll help, but remember that I'm going abroad to work for a small startup, so maybe I'll be up to my head with work" he agreed, we nod and then I left.
First week abroad came in and I was doing a shit-ton of stuff, then his first message comes around "Hey, I need more tutorials! ASAP! Before 6PM"
What.The.Fuck. I told you, son of a bitch, that I wouldn't be able to do them until weekend.. and it was monday!
So I ignored it, weeks went throught and my "angry mood" was fading away so I said to myself "Well, it's time to pick up that stuff again", I open Slack and I find a week old message with a document attached, it was a "letter", I just skimmed by it and read some keywords "deceptioned... failed me.."
Sure dude? Was I the failure? Becase, as far as I remember, you were the fucktard that didn't know how to fucking install a VM!
A week went by, and then randomly a friend of mine talks to me through Facebook:
E: Hey, how are you?
M: I'm fine, what's up?
E: What did you do to TEACHER?
M: Nothing, <explains all situation>
E: Well, It seems weird, that's why I wanted to talk with you, I believe in you, because I know you well, but TEACHER it's thrashing shit about you with all his students on all of his classes
M: Seriously?
E: Yeah, he's saying that you are a failure, irresponsible, that you scammed him
That moment, I for sure, lost all moral responsibility with him and thought to myself "He can go fuck himself with my master branch on his ass"
So when I got back to my country, I had to go around in school, avoiding him, not because I was ashamed nor anything by the way, just because I knew that If i ever had the disgrace to meet him face to face, my fists would be deep into his nose before he could say "Hey".
Moral of the story:
If you overheard that a teacher has a bad rep, not by one, nor two, but more than +100 people, maybe it's true.
Good thing my friends and others know me well and I didn't have repercutions on my social status, I'm just the guy that "fucked up TEACHER because I had the right and way to do it"4 -
TL:DR; DON'T GET INTEL+NVIDIA LAPTOP FOR LINUX.
In the same vain as Linus Torvalds: "Fuck Nvidia, and Intel".
Trying to get intel+nvidia laptop prime w/e working is a living hell.
I'm running Manjaro(arch for lazy people) with I3-gaps(larbs).
So Manjaro provides this handy script/program mhwd that supposedly would enable the non free blob Nvidia driver except it doesn't work cause it uses bumblebee and it's saying it can't find the clearly installed fucking Nvidia driver.
Bashing my head against a wall is more fucking productive then getting my cum stain of laptop to work properly.
"Just disable the intel graphics in bios"
I would except my old shitty Acer bios piece of fucking crap can't even after booting Windows for usb hdd and flashing BIOS.
GUESS WHAT LINUX COMMUNITY THAT'S WHY NOBODY WANTS TO FREAKING USE LINUX FOR GAMING.
I fucking love Linux but I gave up gaming for it.
I'll start joining red team from now on instead of trying to use your broken shit.19 -
!dev
Im working with morrons...
So someone had bright idea of having clone setup of our servers in other hosting company (in previous company we have rendundant setup). Whatever, maybe they want to be resistant to thermonuclear war or whatever, like the project wasn't underfunded already... Whatever, fuq it.
And with that, I have like really, really really fucking ABSOLUTELY BULLSHIT STUPID questions thrown at me.
So, this particular instance of bullshit started with trivial, literally "how much storage capacity we will need" I anwsered at least 4TB, preferably on redundant disk array, I've added small table what uses what and how much etc.
Than I got mail back...
"Thats not enough information:
1. What we need to say to company ABC
2. What we need to say to company XYZ
3. (this one actually had sense) Backups conception
4. **WILL WE PAY FOR SERVERS**
5. other important things (literally)"
So let's break it down.
Im backend guy. What the fuck do I know what you gonna say to XYZ or ABC. I dont give a shit, for me it's clicking setup new server and Im done for, you are overcomplicating as shit and require special care from hosting company that you will pay extra.
Next one, the killer one. What the fucking fuck. my anwser was literally "yes, we need to pay for servers, servers arent free."
Now tell me. How the fuck it is possible that someone can be such an idiot to ask questions like that. and I dont mean #3. maybe even #1 and 2 is like looking someone to throw responsibility on. But why the fuck I have to anwser mail that literally asked me if servers are free.
No, fuck off idiot, I have actual work. Take your bullshit and spread it somewhere else.
E:
and before anyone asks. No, Im not working in kindergarden but I often feel like I am indeed working within kindergarden full of 30+ mentally handicapped toddlers.8 -
A few months ago I bought an e scooter to get from home to work.
The backstory to this:
My car broke down on the highway, my sister's car broke down on the highway and we didn't have another car apart of my dad's anymore.
Which means I had to look for another car. The cars between 1k-5k € are dogshit and when you want to register the car you have to have an appointment at a government building which happens to be closed when I'm getting out of my 8-5 job.
I had enough and bought an e scooter.
Now back to now:
In the beginning it was cool.
Could get anywhere I wanted to in combination with the Germany ticket. Except for the Netherlands where my beautiful girlfriend is.
There I can legally not use it but that's ok lol.
The German government is hyping e mobility and public transportation up, but for what?
E mobility currently sucks ass with all the shit laws for e.g. e scooters and when you want to transport it in public transport, people give you weird looks, the bus driver wants you to buy a bicycle ticket even if I can fold the e scooter and more. The scanners in the bus of the German buses cannot read my German ticket for some reason and every bus driver in my city knows that and they just look at it and are like "Ok, you're cool. Continue moving", but this old grandma looking ass bitch is like "No, according to the law you need to show it to the scanner and not to me". I fucking know. I've been doing this shit for a year and you know that but it doesn't work. It says to me that I need to show it to you instead of to the scanner bc this machine is fucking dumb and apparently I'm holding the people because I started a discussion with her. This driver ... ugh. The buses in my city come whenever they want as well.
Like sometimes 5 minutes earlier, sometimes up to 30 minutes later.
Inconsistent motherfuckers and I am the one making everyone wait? Suck my donkey kong balls.
German trains... well you know how that goes. It doesn't. It sucks ass.
Every single fucking train line has a problem. Either a previous train has something, or staff is missing, or a technical error or the train driver's ass is itchy and needs scratches from his assistant. There's always something.
When I want to travelled home from my gf I spent not lying 8 fucking hours on the trains on Sunday.
Normally it takes max. 5 hours with a train and 3-4 hours with a car.
I can also go on a rant because of the Dutch train system because it also sucks, BUT they are reliable. They are there when they say they are gonna be there. 99% of the times.
In Germany it is somewhere at 10%.
Now I realized that e scooters are uncomfortable and expensive toys who need maintenance just like a car but nonetheless they are reliable unlike the public transport.
In the winter it will be even worse.
Electrical cars are way expensive and affordable electrical cars you need to keep charging every few baby steps.
I also looked at 125ccm motorcycles which you can drive if you upgrade your existing car driver's license, but ngl that's a scam. Not worth it at all.
And that's why I am looking for a traditional car now. E mobility is not there yet in Germany and public transport is not doable at this moment.15 -
What the fuck is wrong with these kind of people?!
So I recently appeared for an android dev job interview in a start-up; the whole time the interviewer (he was the CTO) looked super excited and into my work. I am a fresh graduate with 0 experience in a professional working environment but have a history of a couple of successful apps on the play store since 3 years. The entire time we discussed future plans for the startup and how I was going to contribute towards it. He seemed very interested in my deep learning projects for android and wanted to have similar projects for his products. In the end, he asked me to develop some 'test' projects that can be integrated into his start-up products and told me he'll hire me if he finds it to be as per his need. So I worked on these 'projects' for a month and submitted it to him. He replied that he's impressed with them and will contact me shortly to confirm my job.
That fucker has been ignoring me ever since. He's not responding to any of my e-mails or messages. I feel like a shit right now. How to deal with these assholes?5 -
So recently I installed Windows 7 on my thiccpad to get Hyperdimension Neptunia to run (yes 50GB wasted just to run a game)... And boy did I love the experience.
ThinkPads are business hardware, remember that. And it's been booting Debian rock solid since.. pretty much forever. There are no hardware issues here. Just saying.
With that out of the way I flashed Windows 7 Ultimate on a USB stick and attempted to boot it... Oh yay, first hurdle to overcome. It can't boot in UEFI mode. Move on Debian, you too shall boot in BIOS mode now! But okay, whatever right. So I set it to BIOS mode and shuffled Debian's partitions around a bit to be left with 3 partitions where Windows could stick in one more.
Installed, it asks for activation. Now my ThinkPad comes with a Windows 7 Pro license key, so fuck it let's just use that and Windows will be able to disable the features that are only available for Ultimate users, right? How convenient would that be, to have one ISO for all the half a dozen editions that each Windows release has? And have the system just disable (or since we're in the installer anyway, not install them in the first place) features depending on what key you used? Haha no, this is Microsoft! Developers developers developers DEVELOPERS!!! Oh and Zune, if anyone remembers that clusterfuck. Crackhead Microsoft.
But okay whatever, no activation then and I'll just fetch Windows Loader from my webserver afterwards to keygen my way through. Too bad you didn't accept that key Microsoft! Wouldn't that have been nice.
So finally booted into the installed system now, and behold finally we find something nice! Apparently Windows 7 Enterprise and Ultimate offer a native NFS driver. That's awesome! That way I don't have to adjust my file server at all. Just some fuckery with registry keys to get the UID and GID correct, but I'll forgive it for that. It's not exactly "native" to Windows after all. The fact that it even has a built-in driver for it is something I found pretty neat already.
Fast-forward a few hours and it's time to Re Boot.. drivers from Lenovo that required reboots and whatnot. Fire the system back up, and low and behold the network drive doesn't mount anymore. I've read that this is apparently due to Windows (not always but often) mounting the network drive before the network comes up. Absolutely brilliant! Move out shitstaind, have you seen this beauty of an init Mr. Poet?
But fuck it we can mount that manually after every single boot.. you know, convenient like that. C O P E.
With it now manually mounted, let's watch a movie! I've recently seen Pyro's review on The Platform and I absolutely loved it. The movie itself is quite good too. Open the directory on my file server and.. oh. Windows.. you just put db.thumb on it and db.thumb:encryptable. I shit you not, with the colon and everything. I thought that file names couldn't contain colons Windows! I thought that was illegal in NTFS. Why you doing this in NFS mate? And "encryptable", am I already infected with ransomware??? If it wasn't for the fact that that could also be disabled with something as easy as a registry key, I would've thought I contracted ransomware!
Oh and sound to go with that video, let's pair up some Bluetooth headphones with that Bluetooth driver I installed earlier! Except.. haha nope. Apparently you don't get that either.
Right so let's just navigate the system in its Aero glory... Gonna need to flick the mouse for that. Except it's excruciatingly slow, even the fastest speed is slower than what I'm used to on Linux.. and it's jerky as hell (Linux doesn't have any of that at higher speed). But hey it can compensate for that! Except that slows down the mouse even more. And occasionally the mouse driver gets fucked up too. Wanna scroll on Telegram messages in a chat where you're admin? Well fuck you mate, let me select all these messages for you and auto scroll at supersonic speeds! And God forbid that you press delete with that admin access of yours. Oh maybe I'll do it for you, helpful OS I am!
And the most saddening part of it all? I'd argue that Windows 7 is the best operating system that Microsoft ever released. Yeah. That's the best they could come up with. But at least it plays le games!11 -
Oh my fucking god. Austria wants to sell the data of it's citizens to schools, universities museums, and: Companies with enough money. What the fuck?
The data contains shit from the central register of residents, information about name, date of birth, sex/gender, nationality, recidence, health data (!), education, social security/insurance, tax data, E-Card/ELGA Data (system where your doctor visits, prescribed medicines/drugs, all these things, are saved), and other shit.
Welcome to 2018, where you can try as hard as you want to keep your privacy, and then your government sells all the shit you are not able to remove. Fucking bullshit.9 -
Anyone who says 'Docker is easy" should burn in hell.
Sure, It took me 5 minutes to run my project in docker container
Took another 25 to run multipl;e comntainers via compose
Now, 3 hours later, can't run compose from multiple Visual Studio solutions. Says "Pull failed"
No doc. No examples. No nothing.
I'll try for another hour or so, if not, fuck that docker shit. I'll go to Service fabric.17 -
WooCommerce is shit
Just try to find anything in the documentation on their retarded website and you will get what I am talking about.
A billion of unstructured links. With absolutely no sidebar or table of contents.
IMPOSSIBLE to find any fuck there.
It is far easier to build an e-store from scratch, than to customize their ugly monster.
Now look Laravel or PHPunit documentation to compare how it should be.
-
Stories like the one I'm about to tell you are just another reason why people hate Windows. I know I usually preach 'Don't hate everything' and shit, but this is a real big fucking deal when it hits your desktop for no reason.
Now, onto the actual story...
Background: Playing with my Oculus, fixing issues like forgetting to use USB3 and stuff. I learned about an issue with Nvidia GPUs, where in Windows, they can only support 4 simultaneous displays per GPU. I only have the one GPU in my system, Nova, so I have to unplug a monitor to get Oculus and its virtual window thingy working. Alright, friend gave me idea of using my old GPU to drive one of my lesser used monitors, my right one. Great idea I thought, I'll install it a bit later.
A bit later...
I plug the GPU in (after 3 tries of missing the PCI-E slot, fuckers) and for some reason I'm getting boot issues. It's booting to the wrong drive, sometimes it'll not even bother TRYING to boot, suddenly one of my hard drives isn't even being recognized in BIOS, fuck. Alright, is the GPU at least being recognized? Shit, it isn't. FUCKFUCKFUCK.
Oh wait. I just forgot the power cable Duh. Plug that in, same issues. Alright, now I have no idea. Try desperately to boot, but it just won't I start getting boot error 0xc000000f. Critical device not found. Alrighty then. Fuck my life, eh?
Remove the GPU, look around a bit while frantically trying to boot the system, and I notice an oddly bent SATA cable. I look at it and the bastard is FRAYED AT THE END! Fuck, that's my main SSD! I finally replace the SATA cable and boot, still the same error... Boot into a recovery environment, and guess what?
Windows has decided to change my boot partition, ya know, the FUCKING C: DRIVE, from NTFS to RAW format, stripping it of formatting! What the actual fuck Microsoft? You just took a shit on yourself while having a seizure on the fucking MOON! Fine, fuck you, I have recovery USB! Oh, shit, that won't boot... I have an old installation! Boot ITS recovery, try desperately to find a fix online... CHKDSK C: /F... alright, repairing, awesome! Repaired, I can see data, but not boot. So now I'm at the point where I'm waiting for a USB installer to be created over USB 2.0. Wheeeeeeeeee. FML.
THESE are the times I usually hate Windows a lot. And I do. But it gets MOST of my work done. Except when it does this.
I'm already pissed, so don't go into the comments and just hate on Windows completely. Just a little. The main post is for the main hate. Deal with it. And I know that someone is going to come at me "Ohhhhh, you need FUCKIN LIIIIIIINUUUUUUUXXXXXXXX!' Want to know my response to that?
No.3 -
This shit makes me fucking rage! Ok, so here it goes. I use Multiswipe (multiswipe.com) and I'm actually very happy with it. It works as advertised and doesn't crash. Then I bought a new laptop. I wiped the old one and installed multiswipe on the new one. After launching I'm greeted with the registration (I bought it) where it claims I have already registered the software on a different computer. So I reach out to the owner and ask him to help out and am told
"MultiSwipe can be installed and updated as many times as you want as long as it is in the same machine, but if you change laptops then you will need to purchase a new license, this is because MultiSwipe implements a serious of optimizations depending on your touchpad brand and model and as such it's physically linked to it."
This sounds like horseshit to me. If I download a fresh copy, wouldn't it optimize depending on the new system?
But ok. I'll purchase another one, only to be told that my e-mail address is already in use. After reaching out I am told that I HAVE TO CREATE A NEW EMAIL ADDRESS.
Jon, if you read this, I seriously love your software but what the fuck is this fuckery. Like, seriously, how god damn hard can it be to allow customers to purchase multiple licences?
I'm so angry that I'm considering pouring time into cracking it and sending him the new version with the text "nvm, got it to work."
I'm open to suggestions....
8 -
"Shit, we haven't even come up with a safe word yet!"
"Don't worry, your RSA token has been sent to your e-mail."
1 -
!Dev related but still freelance.
So.. I do 3D stuff, scenes, animation and so on. The e-sport pub manager I know told me about this guy that wanted to start a local organizations around FIFA, hold tournaments at the pub and so on. He had some finance, contacts and needed a 3D scene of a stadium to highlight top placers as 3D Fifa cards.
Gotcha, so I hooked him up with said stuff, he was happy, manager was happy, first tournament went well. Now to the shit show:
He wrote to me a couple of days later asking if I'm up for more jobs, which k respectfully declined because l was on a bigger project that took about 2months to complete. Since that day, he spammed both me and the pub manager with request and wishes on wanting to do more.. and I mean SPAM!
Like the dude can't take a no, sorry. He tried to call on phone and messenger, messeged me several times / week and asked the manager of he heard from me.
Both the manager and I were perplexed of his attitude and after asking several times to stop and we both had other things for now (events / projects).. he.. he didn't stop. So.. blocked and that's that, right? Fuck now.. other clients of mine asked me if I knew of him because he tried to contact them to get to me.. like WTF?! How hard is it to take a no and move on?! Jesus.. client of hell in a nutshell2 -
cars do feel like downgrades these days. never ever want i to buy som like tesla e only shit. but oh - for the eNvIrOnMeNt i buy a NEW Tesla car because it is cLiMa nEuTrAl when running. mhhhhh. that shitty earth destroying battery wont even last 10 years, the build quality of these cars suck also. and your shitty auto pilot life isnt even worth radar, but cheap cameras. why not buy a used car to save the climate huh? meh - e is suposed to be better right... nahh it uses the energy out of the plug from coal mines instead to a great extend these days - - - or is it cuz ur country funds e cars? - why tf does a country want to support buying NEW cars fOr cLiMaTe right mhm. the car world is on a downhill. what sad age to grow up in. and then theres that ebike shit happening ... - ugh21
-
Holy fucking shit are email clients bullshit.
I don't know what happened there but if you thought the chrome-firefox-ie-egde gaps back in the days were sick - let me tell you.. email clients are made by the devil himself. All of them. All of them? Yup. Because he made some of them being owned by apple, working beatuiful and no weird stuff.
But on the same end he made some of them owned by microsoft and their office Studios. They use the word engine to render html emails. Read this again. Read it without starting to cry in agony.
But thats not enough. Let's make some of them use an ie-engine and the mac os variants going to use some webkit based renderer. This way there will be no valid ruleset to make it look good on all of them, isn't this great??
Now this might be hell already. But lets pour more salt into these wide opened wounds.
Let there be Germany and United Internet, owning trash like Web.de and GMX, whose android clients going to work completely different across Android and app-versions!
Once you've mastered these, let me introduce you to gmail. Lets take only the body node of your email and do some fuck up with it, so you have to display a non-responsive variant on mobile.
Now you might be thinking "but there are web-based clients, they'll do good ain't they?" Long story short: fuck you.
Not enough.
Let's go back to ms.
Hey dude lets make it possible to scale up your whole system. So old people can read shit better. And now the funny part: let's make it so that the word rendering engine, rendering emails goes completely mayhem on your mail, so it looks like a completely different thing! (:
If you ever receive a newsletter in your inbox and that shit looks like it's planned to look like.. appreciate that shit. Sacrifice a virgin as thanksgiving for it.
TL;DR:
E-Mail needs to die. I'm doing this for over 2 years now and this shit needs to stop asap.4 -
The only 4 mobile games on all app stores: "shit for other consoles or PC or Flash ported badly to mobile for $5", "idle clicker don't-play-to-succeed game fuck you pay me to succeed faster", "complete XYZ random quick thing 300 billion times", and "free-to-make shit like chess or crosswords or w/e but bad so we make money on empty promises"
i just want something good to play when bored in the car or some shit without needing multiple devices5 -
Why is learning a new language from python such a bitch? Like, w h a t t h e f u c k. Syntax can eat my ass with that semi colon no semi colon bullshit. Also fuck the compiler with it always having an error and shit. I was lowkey just trying to compile the shortest shit but cant get through s h i t. Fuck life I swear I'm gonna shoot my computer if I get another error.25
-
Quick and probably duplicate.
One fucking more time someone comes to me and interrupts me, I swear if it's not important, or chitchat, or something easly googlable, or something you could ask literally anyone else or something that isn't even my shit to handle, I will give the unlucky bastard 30 minute lesson to not fucking interrupt me when Im trying to focus first half of fucking day to do one fucking thing.
What the fuck.
What, should I print big fucking A2 formated poster and stick next to my workstation "If you came here to interrupt me, think if you really need to"?
E:
And no, I dont know where the fuck is your excel file.
And no, I dont give a shit when Im coding that there is cake avail for workers today.
And no, for fucks sakes I dont have time for chitchat, I have deadline on me once again and Im doing something I dont have much expirience in so please leave me fucking alone.7 -
You know what I had to deal with
A bunch of these shit
try{
//Shitty cluster fuck excuse for java
//code
}catch(Exception e){
}1 -
These fucking calendar e-mails. Fuck. Right. Off.
They never display correctly in all clients.
If the meeting is at 1pm, just fucking say that. I don't want to pick through a load of shit only to find that the calendar app lied about UTC.
Just missed a sodding call due to this crap.4 -
everytime i buy a new phone ,i feel this sense of extreme regret :(
i bought a moto g 5g phone last year in feb, it was so good . it didn't had any out of the world cameras or some funky stuff, but it gave a decent performance and i couldn't want any other phone.
In October my mom's phone started giving issues so i bought a realme phone for her that was half my phone's price. i couldn't spent any mor e because otherwise she wouldn't take it. she accepted the cheaper phone and within 4 days sue was cursing it. the phone had decent specs but would lag in certain apps like zoom, and won't run some call recorder apps. at the end i swapped my phone with mom's since i didn't cared about zoom or the recorder.
now this shit realme phone's memory has gone around 60% full of my stuff, and its showing its limitations. this shit auto relaunches insta after a few minutes of usage, probably because its runtime memory gets short( 4gb 128gb device gets memory shortages. nice). its video quality is shit and camera also takes rarely good pics.
the worst thing i like about smartphones today is how they over optimise the ui. this insta issue and auto call recorders not working is simply because of the realme skin running over the stock android. i had similar issues with a xiaomi device i bought for my dad sometime ago. (fortunately my dad is more medieval so that crap has not came back to me :'/ )
so overall i am buying a 3rd phone in 17 months.
This time it's Samsung f23 and am worried that it's also going to suck. i was this 🤏close to buying a pixel 6 or even an iphone coz i can afford them.
but the regret of buying such an expensive phone that will need replacement in 2 years made me rethink.
the only android os that have suited me the best is stock and as of now only 2 companies are making it : google and moto(* it's 100% aosp with 3 extra apps but they can't say that, so they also state that they are not stock os) . one plus is also a brand that i have heard makes a good os . but recently i also heard that they have completely scrapped their os and using oppo's softwares . plus the amount of tickets we get for notifications not working in oneplus, am sure their optimization is extremely aggressive.
so everything between a moderate price phone ( that will need a replacement in 2 years ) to a flagship felt unnecessary to me, so i went ahead with a Samsung's shit phone. f23 has almost same specs as moto but it's again a heavily customised os. i wanna waste my money on trying a custom os and declare it shitty.
most of my friends that use Samsung are fan of it but they are also not very techy so i guess it suits them well. i am the guy who first installs nova launcher in his device, so let's see what it brings on the table. from the 3rd person p.o.v, i felt its screen and camera images to he nice whenever i used their mobiles, so let's see what this brings to the table :(7 -
Hey Guys
So... I Have a question / rant / frustrated commenting to do...
WHY THA FUCK DO FIRMWARE TAKE SO LONG TO UPDATE!!!
been configuring my webserver and 2 p2p cameras to access from the outside, and for each click or change can take 1 to 5 minutes to implement...
And then, like 6 or 7 hours latter I notice that everytime the port wasn't associated, a small label in like size8 text shows that port is already in use...
And... Da FUCK??
I'm associating the ports myself... how can port 82, 83, 84, 85, 86, ... be In use?
I have my server in 80, WebDav e another non relevant port, and trying to find open ports for the p2p cams...
Fuck I'll just delete all that services that no one uses and are pre configured, like, emule? napster? FifaPC? WTF? I never played Fifa, don't like socker. KaZaA SERVER? WTF why does this shit comes pre-configured?
Btw I'm writing this while I wait for the router to finish every time :p7 -
WHY IS IT SO FUCKING HARD TO DOWNLOAD SOFTWARE FROM MEGACORPS??
Yes, am looking at you EMC, Oracle and IBM. Either they have tons of portals-e-delivery-shittorama or their softwares suddenly disappear for n amount of time without notice. Mix this up with broken links or CONSTANTLY REBRANDING YOUR SHITTY PRODUCTS SO YOU NEED TO HIRE A PERSONAL ASSISTANT THAT ONLY WORKS WITH TRACKING THESE PORTALS TO HELL
Also, your websites are slow as shit.
Thank you.1 -
Fucking travel auditors and yous stupid rules for travel reports. I've sent you countless e-mails explaining the situation and you can't fucking read?! YOU told me how I was supposed to fill the report and I did it as you told me to, but dare to reject it?!
Fucking incompetent and useless morons, you ain't worth shit! Fuck you and your stupid travel report! -
!!rant life toptags bottags
My tags seem to be okay. Let's go.
I'm 14. I live in a place where nobody smart lives, and the school I go to has no coders.
Last year, all my friends moved. The only friend I had left now hates me, simply because they yelled at me everyday and I yelled at them once.
I am in the middle of my exams. I also have the flu, but thankfully it's not the e-flu, otherwise you guys should prepare for 24/7 headaches.
Due to the medications I am taking, I'm half-asleep all the time, and I probably am messing up all of my grades.
My entire extended family is in India, and I go there 2 times a year. I miss them so much right now :(.
At the same as doing exams, I am trying to keep my laptop (primary) and PC (secondary, desk) configuration and setup approximately synchronized. In order to do that, I am setting up my dotfiles repository.
Except that all my laptop config (which works) is written horribly, and I need to rewrite it all.
At the same time, I have 3 other projects going on: An OS written in D, a source-based package management system written in D, a small website (not online), and a whatever's cooking in my mind at this moment.
Right now, I'm supposed to be studying for my French exam.
Instead, I'm here, typing this out on my phone.
I have a classmate in school who can type QWERTY at 80WPM. I'm learning Dvorak (Programmer's!) and my current speed is 33WPM, after about 2 months of half-hearted practise during work time and at school.
Sometimes, I look at the world we have here, and what we're doing to it, and I wish that sometimes we could simply be content with life. Let's just live, for once.
I find ~60 random songs in one go, simply by finding a song I know on YouTube and going to the 'Mix - <song>' playlist. I download them all (youtube-dl), and I listen to them. Sometimes, I find this little part in a song (Mackelmore & Ryan Lewis - Can't Hold Us beginning instrumentals, or Safe and Sound chorus instrumentals) that make me feel so happy I feel like all's good in the world. Then the song moves on and with it, my happiness.
I look at Wayland, and X, and I think - Why can't we have one way of doing things - a fixed interface to express anything, so that one common API exists for everything of that type? And I realise it's because they feel that they're missing something from the others. Perhaps it's a bug nobody's solved or functionality that's missing, and they think that they can do better than that. And I think - Well, that's stupid. Submit a fucking bug report or pull request instead of reinventing the wheel. And then I realise that all the programming I've ever done in my life IS simply reinventing the wheel. And some might say, "Well, that guy designed it with spokes and wood. I designed it with rubber and steel," but that doesn't work, because no matter what how you make it, it's just a wheel. They both do the same thing. Both have advantages and disadvantages, because nothing's perfect. We're not perfect because we all have agendas and wants and likes and dislikes and hates and disgusts and all kinds of other crap, and our DNA's not perfect because it manages to corrupt copy operations (which is basically why we die of old age, I think).
And now I've lost my train of thought and this is too large to scroll over so I'm just going to move on to the next topic. At this point (.), I have 1633 letters left.
I hate the fact that the world's become so used to QWERTY because of stuff that happened 100 years ago that Dvorak is enough of a security to stop most people from being able to physically use my laptop.
I don't understand why huge companies like Google want to know about me. What would you do with this information? Know how to take over my stuff when the corporation-opocalypse comes around? Why can't they leave me alone? Why do I have to flash a ROM onto my phone so that Google cannot track me? What do you want, Google?
I don't give a shit any more, so there's my megarant.
Before anybody else (aside from myself) tells me that this is too big, all these topics are related simply because my train of thought went this way. There's a connection between each of these things, but I just don't know what it is.
Goodnight, world. 666 is the number of characters I have left. So is 42, for that matter (thanks, Douglas Adams!). Goodbye.3 -
Fucking Windows.
Everytime I update the system it acts like it got infected by yet another virus.
Everyone uses this shitty insult of an OS because one day Gates said "hurr durr look how fucking generous I am, y'all get my OS for free". And we got fooled big time.
Any E-mail I try to look up in Outlook that's older than a month doesn't exist, Excel converts anything I type into ISO-timestamps, and the most infuriating thing of all is that whenever something runs in an error, it just gives me a big
FUCK Something went wrong YOU
FUCK Ask your administrator if you have any questions YOU
FUCK Who do you think is sitting infront of the screen you big pile piece of shit software YOU
AFAIK Gates founded Microsoft as the hero mounting against the giants of its time, IBM to be concise. Looks like Microsoft lived long enough to become the villain themselves.4 -
More math (because it's 5am and currently the apocalypse so why not).
e - log(log(e, 1.444667861009766**1.444667861009766), log(e, e**1.444667861009766)) = 1
I've been studying so long if I happen to glance at a pocket calculator I might jizz in my pants.
Thinking BigBrain thoughts right now bois! (tm).
Oh shit. Cant stop. I think I opened a portal bros! and am being sucked in. ITS A BLACK HOLE!18 -
Worst: job insecurity, i. e. "due to Covid, unfortunately we can only renew you for 1 month for now" which kept on going from March till October and during which all sensible colleagues left.
Best: finally leaving this piece of shit management in October for a better position.1 -
not dev.
HSBC rejected my request to have my credit card limit increased. I call to ask why and after 38 minutes of holding she comes back and says the system automatically rejected your request because of "poor account conduct" and "unusual activity.".....
w h a t t h e F U C K does that mean???
She was unhelpful in explaining what that meant, and I'm honestly baffled. I've always paid my cc balance in full every month, never went over my limit (in fact, utilisation was almost always below 30%), always had enough balance in my account to cover any Direct Debits, Standing Orders and other purchases (I don't even have overdraft), and my credit score is practically excellent.
Then she proceeds to say that I can try applying again in 3-6 months but she can't guarantee approval. HAH as if. They can suck it.
I moved away from Lloyd's bank because they were shit, and now this. Are all banks this shit?
I sent them a complaint and they said they'd get back to me in 5 working days... let's see.12 -
Me: "ok let's have a look at this code I have to review ..."
try
{
* Some random unreadable overcomplicated shit code *
}
catch (Exception e)
{
// Useful for debug
}
😓
In which God forsaken crazy alternative universe, a "catch all" block that swallows the exception and does nothing else is even slightly close to the concept of "useful for debug"3 -
It's funny how alcohol actually makes you remember all the crazy shit you had to deal with.
As when I was a junior c# programmer at an ERP shop.
I was new, naive and full of energy.
I used to dive deep into the code base, and one of the things I noticed but didn't pay too much attention was.
Error stacks were usually meaningless.
And why was that?
First, well it was c#.
Second, the guys use to do this.
try {
ThrowingFunction();
} catch (Exception e ) {
throw e;
}
PS: I'm not doing c# anymore, that was 10 years ago. So syntax might be a bit off.8 -
So I had this conversation yesterday while fixing yet another Windows laptop for someone else.
Other Guy = OG
Me = Me (Duh)
OG: So what are your plans after your apprenticeship?
Me: Uh, I'll probably start somewhere that's e-commerce related, kinda like my current company but somewhere else.
OG: Uh have you thought about being your own boss?
Me: Well yeah, but I wouldn't know how to attract customers and shit
-- This is the moment shit gets real
OG: OH BTW I heard that Germany is lacking AI developers, you should do that! It earns you shitloads of cash!
Me: Uhm.. well, that might be true b-
OG: There's no but dude, it's free money, you're smart.. I mean you can fix any computer, right? AI will be just as easy
Me: It's not like-
OG: Duh, don't make yourself look so bad I know you can do it!
Me: B..But I'm not interested in it at all
*silence for 5 seconds*
OG: Well.. I guess you do you then
After that we continued to have random chit-chat about his job and experience (He's a mechanic)
God I hate when people throw buzzwords around and try to convince other people to do what *they* want.
No, I don't want to develop a structure of 1000 ifs/elses, I'd rather keep doing what I'm doing, thanks!6 -
I am put to the task of creating a Chat Robot in ChatFuel.
Cool, I thought at first.
Cool is not what I would call it at this point..one week later.
The size is a factor at play, for sure, it needs to point to 27 cities and give individual information, handle e-mails, phone, automate e-mails.. a bunch of stuff.
Now, I am located in Sweden.
{{city}} as a set user attribute acknowledges Gothenburg and geolocation thusly worked fine for my boss. But not for me, and won't work for any other city.
So..Global AI calling for static blocks it is... 27 blocks...
For two languages.. 54 blocks...
Static pointing to the first answer for every individual block multiplies this by a factor of two. 108 static blocks. Fine.
I have since realized that my ChatFuel-Luddite ways were limiting the expected performance of the end result and learned that most other set attributes in ChatFuel work fine. Yay.
So we set up everything the last 54 blocks need to do with user attributes and to my surprise it works, really well at that. The answer from a user that is a correct city puts you into a block that is a series of questions using user attributes, both {{first_name}} and {{last_name}}, asks for e-mail and phone, displays an image and stuff like that.
Now.. as I attempt to copy these blocks..
THEY JUST POOP OUT CHUNKS OF THE ORIGINAL BLOCK. IT'S INCONSISTENCY IS STAGGERING. IT NEVER REALLY COMPLETES THE DUPLICATION, NO ERROR MESSAGE OR ANYTHING.
Which then reminded me of when my boss asked why everything was botched earlier in the project, at that point I copied the entire bot as a fallback and worked with my change in the copy first for safety reasons, didn't work, copy wasn't entire.
Wasted fucking hours on this.
I'm glad my boss is cool, and the job is easily worth it. I actually think that the design aspect of ChatFuel is nice, and the people behind it are kind in the facebook group and all. I don't think they're trying to be mean. But holy shit.
This has been a mental anguish that levels pissing bleach filled with fire ants.
" You could've easily solved this with APIs and third-party geofencing services ", yeah, but their services won't stack for the customer, nice attempt though.
Deep breaths.
1 -
p r i n t e r s
I was about to print a bigass document. Wanted to save paper, and saw my printer had a two side mode. I try it out. A few pages print, then the driver says PAUSED - RELOAD PAPER. This is normal, as double sided printing is not automatic. Underneath, there is a message:
[Printing - Manual Duplex: Please reinsert pap...]
I try to resize the window to read the message.
THE MOTHERFUCKING WINDOW WAS NOT RESIZEABLE!!!
are these products not fucking tested???
I find a guide saying the paper should be reinserted with no flips, then the "continue" button should be pressed.
The button was not in the driver UI, or on the printer. Further research showed that you are supposed to:
OPEN THE TONER CHANGE DOOR AND CLOSE IT AGAIN TO CONTINUE A PRINT
what fuCKING designer thought this shit through!?#@?#$!
printers
fuckem1 -
Any disposable e-mail address service:
"FIGHT THE SPAM"
"THANK YOU FIGHTING THE SPAM"
"YOU DID GOOD BY FIGHTING SPAM"
The users of disposable e-mail address:
*creates another spam account*
*creates another multiaccount in order to exploit a system*
Companies actually fighting spam:
Now there is even more spam to fight against. (which is not good)
About 2/3 of the accounts created daily on our website are spam accounts. We have to waste our time with this shit instead of actually improving our services. Since we do not track IP-Addresses and there are countless amounts of disposable e-mail domains AND there is still the option to create countless spam e-mail addresses within legit e-mail providers, there is no easy way of stopping this madness.
"Fight the Spam", you could start by deleting your shitty service or at least give us a list of all the domains you're using, srsly. -
I have no specific story to tell (for now. Will post ke if i remember one) but i have had tons of CS teachers that are shit. From ones who don't know shit to ones who are so bad as a human being i am sure thrte are hundreds of people out there to kill them. I have had multiple teachers where all they did was read out a book and we'd have o site everything they read. Whole fucking semester. And not just one person or once. M-U-L-T-I-P-L-E TIMES AND TEACHERS. then I ve had ones who would rejection my code even if it's better, is right, can andle more edge cases, most likely magnitfrs of times faster and isn an eye sore with just effig if-else on op of if-else nested within if-else with many for loops. Then there are those who want you to do just what they want and expect you to not have a life of your own. Those who blatantly abuse their powers. Those who couldn't care less. Those who are not that bad a teacher but their attitude and style just makes you want to leave. There's one currently who wants a group of 4 people in second year to develop a full blown industry level application in mere 3 weeks. AND WE ARE HAVING OUR THEORY PAPRRS INBETWEEN FOR 2 EFFING WEEKS. So that's just like a month. Fortunately I have a group that's good enough that I can have them do the testing and filling up the documentation (did I mention that he needs full documentatiin for software plus a report on how our development process) and have them work on presentation (yup. We need to present this thing) all for just 50 marks. 1 uni credit. Our system still gives 80% weightage to pure theory. Plus the practical part is somewhat theory too.
Our HOD wants us *insists*forces** to stay back at college and work on projects (which is nice but what he ments is use the shitty outdated books from early 2000s to study something). Now I'd be happy to stay back if college provided decent internet (I am not asking for gigabit speeds. Even 1-2Mbps would work) and place to sit. But nope, our college non-teaching staff is eager to send us out of their department and by extention college building. There is literally nowhere you can sit. Plus yup, there is no internet and nowhere for you to plug your laptop in. That's a moot point anyway because they don't want you to use your laptop in college library or anywhere anyways. Plus you don't get much of mobile data too because of the building design. Those work only near windows. Why would I be at college if I can get a 50+Mbps down, area to sit, snacks, port to charge all at home. And you'd say we should talk with him about this – well it's not his issue is all he has to say.
Well, such is life in Indian colleges. And my college/uni is one of the better ones.1 -
OneNote is just a big pile of shit.
I‘ve been trying for three hours now to share a Notebook (OneNote Desktop to OneNote Desktop).
It just does not work. It used to work. Microsoft broke sharing.
If the other person invites me via Mail or even MS-Account I neither get Notificiations nor an E-Mail with a link nor am I able to select the Notebook somewhere. It‘s. Just. Useless.
OneDrive also sucks.
Microsoft tries to offer solutions for everything and nothing is finished and fully functional. It sucks. People using OneDrive suck. I just want to do my work.1 -
Goes to my comment on on of the rants to "Why linux cannot AVER be used by a normal user"
I'm pretty good with techs, OS, dev etc.
But here you go, a random error message which tells me nothing (Absolutelly nothing) and no way to fix it. No way to fix it, not even a hint where to look for solution, outside google. Sure, It took me around 5 minutes to find the problem googeling and copy/pasting some bash commands, but next time it happens and I don't have internet ? Well fucked.
This shit never happens on Wiondows or MacOs :) And that's why these 2 will always be user firendly ans linux will never be.
That's why linux will never be used by normal humains.
You 100% linux addict will point out directlly 'TYeah yours repos sources are fuckied" or whatever, but it IS NOT to user to know how sources, packages etc work. I want just update my system, if one source is not found, ignotre it by default ! How hrd is that ?
Error message in question :
E: The repository 'https://ppa.launchpadcontent.net/tr... jammy Release' does not have a Release file.
N: Updating from such a repository can't be done securely, and is therefore disabled by default.
N: See apt-secure(8) manpage for repository creation and user configuration details.
Thanks for assisting to my ted talk.19 -
Yo folks,
how do you calculate your pay?
I mean if you are freelancer..
I want to get clients beside my apprenticeship, but dont know the regular payment for devs..
And yeah.. ofc there are so much differences inside the structure of something (websites, apps, programs) and the place you live.
Its more like i wanna know how much can you offer per hour for some shit.
For example easy websites, e-commerce, web shop, apps.. etc.
What would you seriously take for each hour of work? (some examples would be nice )
Thanks you, everything appreciated5 -
I like making money, I just don't like the bullshit administration that goes along with it. Maintaining letters can be so annoying. Salary letters, insurance letters, bs e-mails I don't care about, bla, bla and bla.
How about: I just don't give a fuck? Yeah. I only care about the money, not about all the extra shit. -
> me when angry
" what the fuck you stupid dev stop doing crappy shit"
> me when trying to do stuff
#!/bin/bash set -e
echo "no please"
exit 0
I should stop blaming devs for doing crappy stuff -
i think i will start a thread of my rants against the new mnc laggards that i am supposed to join.
me vs my new job : part 4/n
so today is 29th, and after going through a major EXHAUSTING paperwork for the last 2 days (which included e-signing of papers from a literal govt portal that was down 90% time and i had to manually do polling on it to get it to work), i finally have the onboarding papers ready and i headed to office for laptop collection.
i was told that today the only formality that will happen is the laptop collection, so i scheduled all my personal stuff accordingly and planned to just goto the office, take the laptop and come back home. hardly a work of 3 hours, lets get it done by 11 am.
how the fuck did i forget that this is a sloth company :/
- i reached office at 10, and my spoc was not picking up the phone.
- after multiple tries, he picked up and told me that he is on leave and gave me the number of another.
- the other guy was not picking up, so i called him back. he said that the guy will start his shift at 11, so call him after 11 (?)
- i ended the call and bashed straight into office. asked someone where he sits, went there, and his mates told me that another guy was supposed to attend to me (hopefully i got saved by another redirect, once that guy had picked up his phone)
- what's more, the other guy told me that he had mailed my HR that i should be coming at 2 pm to recieve laptop(!?!) and laptop will not be ready before that.
- my hr fucking didn't tell me this and now its 11.15 and i am sitting in the lobby waiting for my laptop with no food, water or shit inside of me :/
with fuckery like this, I will either surrender and become one of the laggard like them, or become a rebel, just do my work and shit on their timings and redirects, and soon leave for a better shit :/
----------------------------------------
previous rants
part 3/n https://devrant.com/rants/6533348/...
somwhat part 2 and 1/n https://devrant.com/rants/6304423/...1 -
I can sync saves to and from the cloud on my Xbox One (after a long support session due to some weird shit but w/e it's fixed now) but I can't copy them to/from USB or internal storage, so I can't back them up manually so we have backups after we lose our good internet and switch to basically mobile data at non-LTE 4G speeds at anywhere from 100/500GB a month for 4 people (we don't get to know how much we get until we go over either!)
fucking kill me3 -
Hey guys, need your advice please.
In september Last year I've started my apprenticeship. Before that I made a year internship and developed a Software for them.
After I've left the internship, my Old Boss (Boss from internship) asked me if I can support the Software a while. So, I set Up a git, made it available in github, but private (had to paid for it - from my own Money). After not hearing something from him - He didn't understood how He Can Log in Into GitHub -.- WTF ! I wrote him multiple instructions but it was useless.
Because I don't have the desire and patience anymore - and don't want to pay with my own Money to Make it available for them - pay for something they can't even Login because they are ... Yeah.. I've decided to cancel the membership in github some weeks ago.
Today my Old Boss contacted me via E-Mail, after not hearing something from him in months.
Now I don't know how to react - He wants that I Code for him, the Software again.
on the one Hand I don't want to "leave him alone" but on the other hand I don't want to Support this Shit anymore.
What should I do?
At least I want to get paid for my Work. But I don't know, if this is legal to earn Money next to your apprenticeship. My current Boss Said one time that this would be No Problem, but I'm not sure about it.
Would be glad about any help and advice from you.
Thanks.3 -
perl -MCPAN -e 'shell;'
install DateTime
Proceeds to install a shit ton of dependencies, takes two hours to install.
WHY? Does math functions related to date/times require all those deps?4 -
Let's see how many liars are on this site.
what year do you all think it is presently, as you liv e and breathe and walk about, not related to events that have occurred and reoccurred and do so often because of the ridiculous shit system of denial. cruelty and idiocy most sane minds reject and you people lie about for some esoteric reason.12
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