Speaking of bad dev days, what a week I'll be having.
Lead-dev: I've got some bad news for you.
Me: Client X?
Lead: Client X.
Me: How many pages do I have to change?
Lead: All of them.
Me: On how many of their websites?
Lead: All of them.
Me: All of them?
Lead: All. Of. Them.

Me: how's your password security?

Them: of course we value security very highly, our passwords are all hashed before being stored.

Me: what hashing algorithm?

Them: oh we hash it with sha and then place that in a table indexed by the password.

Indexed. By. The fucking. Password.

Boss 1: You have such a dedicated team of workers, how do you make them all come in time?
Boss 2: Its simple, 30 employees, 20 parking spaces.

I've got 99 problems and all of them are priority one.

All of them ;)

All the shirts... all of them

All of my friends are designers. None of them can code. And when I try to design...

Honestly, after using sublime, atom, brackets, WebStorm, and so many other IDEs/Text Editors, VSCode outshines all of them ❤️

Instead of splitting up engineers by team, they should start by splitting up those who prefer the lights on, and those who want them off.

Then we can all be happy.

Snapchat: You can't just copy all of my concepts and sell them as yours.

Facebook: Watch me.

I've seen a lot of weird graphs in my life, but this one beats all of them...

A request to all of you posting these feel-good rants about your past teachers.

Maybe shoot them a message to tell them how much you appreciated them, teaching is a very rough and thankless job for the most part.

It's funny how much it meant to some of my past teachers...

A moment of silence for all the USB flash drives that we purchased and have no idea where they are or who did we borrow them to.

I was once at a hackathon and got into a team with some people out of the same company. They brought all of their fancy tools with them, which no one understood except for them.
They ended up doing all of the back-end and I designed a f***** logo, some slides and bored myself to death for the remaining 18 hours or so.

Paypal Rant #3

One day I'll go to Paypal HQ and...
... change all the toilet rolls to face the wrong way
... remap all the semicolons to be the Greek equivalent character
... change all the door signs so they say "pull" instead of "push" and vice versa
... modify all the stairs to have variable heights
... programmatically shuffle the elevator buttons and randomly assign the alarm key to any of the most visited floors
... pour cocoa onto all the keyboards and wipe them off cleanly
... attach clear duct tape over their mouse sensors and insert really weak batteries or mess with their cables

I'll wait a day or two until they experience a sudden shortage of developers, then bombard them with thousands of fake applications from seemingly amazing candidates, then write an AI bot to continue argumentation with HR.

I'll wait another week or so until the company dissolves and with them, all my issues in life.

No need to be overly vulgar this time because you all know the deal. I hate this fucking company. Please Paypal do us all a favor and go fuck yourself.

Update on my job interviews:
I had four so far.
Got rejected from all of them.
The reason of most of them was that they would have to teach me too much.
I am applying as a junior.
What do they expect? Fucking Linus Torvalds or geohot?

Lets be realistic guys...
Artificial Intelligence Researcher / Artificial Intelligence Software Engineer

Damn simple. Be on the A.I. side. Betray all of your friends and make them jobless.
RULE THE WORLD!!!

Instead of using actual debugging tools, using print statements and forgetting to remove all of them.

All these fortnite plyers thanking the bus driver but none of them thanking their graphics drivers

Just rm -rf all the projects from my computer instead of one folder.
Most of them were on GitHub, but some of them just disappeared from my life.
Hope it wasn't nothing important, I don't really remember.
FML

why people need april fool. the most of them are lying all the time

Unpopular dev opinion:

I like ending lines of code with semicolons. It helps add structure and organization. My code feels naked without them. After learning to code in JavaScript and Java, it's force of habit to put them, and python's lack of them is one of the reasons I hate it's syntax

Maybe I'm old fashioned. All the hipster languages either make semicolons optional or usually actively discourage them

Idk I like them though

"How long will it take us to build X?"

"How long is a piece of string?"

Very similar indeed. Time estimates are insanely hard even with all the cards on the table, be sure to lay them all out before asking.

devranters account registration could include coding knowledge test to keep out snooping PMs? but instead of denying them access on failure it could just silently filter them all to their own channel >:)

!rant
Today a friend of mine kinda broke windows

Description:
There are 4 desktop instances, all of them "work" perfectly fine. Partly overlapping eachother

Commit fast, commit often.

I lost a day's worth of code once, because I wanted to commit all of them in the evening right before I was to go home. Then I mistakenly hit `git checkout .` instead of `git add .`.

Poof. Gone.

Yea... so you know all those rants/jokes about how you need to explain programming to ur friends and family?

I just realized I don't have that problem.... all of them are programmers as well :)

I'm considering shutting down all my social media profiles. I can't be bothered with any of them especially since most of the social media platforms has a lot of nut heads. I'd rather be on devrant than any other social media platform.

There are so many awesome dev jokes and puns here, i want to share them all with my friends. But i know none of them would understand whats so hilarious about them :(

My University distributes all worksheets over an online system. To access the files one has to download them each time first. So to get rid of all this annoying clicking in the browser, I just programmed a service, which logs onto the website ,crawls trough every folder, searches for new files and downloads them if they do not exist on my computer. Kind of proud as this is pretty much the first really useful program I developed lol

Some of the dinosaurs maintaining legacy systems are rather well meaning, but somewhat frustratingly don't seem to have updated their knowledge of what counts as "a lot of storage space" beyond the early 90's. Just asked one of them if they could dump all the legacy logs to AWS each day so we could keep them for 6 months or so (they're rolled over weekly otherwise.)

"Well I mean we can, but are you sure? *All* the logs? You could end up storing close to 100MB of logs a month! Won't that be prohibitively expensive?!"

It's rather cute really.

Is there a bug in the way it's decided which posts are displayed? This is on algorithm mode. There are a lot more 250++ posts below here with a couole of 1++ posts in between. And almost all of them I've seen before and ++d them

Interviewed 6 candidates yesterday.

all of them had 2+ years of experience in web but none of them know how to use selectors in jQuery other than '#' and '.'

LEARN YOUR STUFF PROPERLY 😠😠😠😠

!dev
My neighbors are absolute assholes.

I can't get enough sleep. This is driving me nuts. Worst of all, they're all students. I've called the cops on them once, but still the same behavior.
Am about to lose it, ngl.

Best mentoring advice I've gotten:

In your career you'll meet three kinds of people.
1) Nice people
2) Indifferent people
3) Not nice people

Treat them all in the same way. That's professionalism.

My former teammates used to store multiple local copies on their computers, as a form of version control, and pass bits of code on USBs to share their work.

I gave them a fair warning about the importance of working with git, and then one night, I just stole all of their HDDs, leaving them codeless.

I could’ve cleaned it up but we all know desks aren’t naturally as clean as people make them for these types of photos...

I just had a non-paying customer call me useless a total of 5 times in a support ticket.

Banning them from all of my apps might be worth a bad review.

Android Studio, could you please, pretty please, pleaaaasssse update my drawables on the layout preview when I change them? Or, at least, if I change 10 images, update all of them, or none. Don't choose randomly what to do with them. It's really unnerving.

When a website enforces "overflow: hidden" on all content elements, so you hit them with the good ol'

for(let e of document.querySelectorAll("*")) {
e.style.overflow = "scroll";
}

Make your cookies banner have equal "Accept All" and "Reject All" buttons, and I'll probably Accept All.

Bury rejection under a fucking "Manage Cookies" button and I will go out of my way to disable/opt out of every fucking one of them.

Also why the fuck would rejecting all take "a few minutes" but accepting be instantaneous?

Fucking hell.

When I die, sign me out of all them 67 slack workspaces.

Me: *adds one song from Sonic game to Spotify playlist*
Spotify: Here, from now on we will suggest you ALL OF THEM and ONLY THEM

"Shit, redefined."
"Shit, reinvented"
"One shit to rule them all!"
"A new era of bullshit"
"The world's 1st portable pile of shit!"

-> Typical Kickstarter slogans... 
Seriously I found at least five campaigns using them! Wtf how uncreative can you be!?

Today for the 4th time I explained to my colleague that just because the front end app can perform validation doesn't mean the backend shouldn't. Every fucking time for all of them.

You know how cities hang all sorts of decorations wherever possible before Christmas? Well, it looks like people of Kekava, Latvia, are very big fans of Kotlin and find it's logo to be festive!

Good for them!

I've had a Twitter bot running for just over a year now. It's going to gain it's 6000th Follower at some point today.
I find it odd that an automated account I made has more Followers than all of my human accounts across all social networks combined - a lot more. I like to wonder about my bot Followers, how many of them are bots? How many of them are real and feel an actual connection with "me" and look forward to my Tweets, blissfully unaware that it's a bot?

As a primarily back end dev, I'm not very good at design. So i wrote a Ruby script to download free html + css templates... all 3600+ of them 😐

My biggest insecurity?

That I'm fascinated by a lot of domains and rather than mastering one I'm just intermediate in all of them, making me a jack of all trades but a master of none.

A couple of years ago, I filled my boss office with balloons. Probably 300 of them and the best part was he had a fobia of balloons and couldn't work all day in the office 😉

Every time I got a mandatory security question, I type in "go fuck yourself with a cactus". There's only one answer for all of them.

worst: having to code for 10 projects at same time.

best: completing all of them like a boss.

Seven hours of meetings this week, and every. single. one. of them could have been an email.

How can they expect me to get anything done when all I’m doing is listening to them drone on and on and …

And of course this shouldn’t affect the deadlines. No siree! But can I work during them? Not a chance! … Totally do anyway …

Php array methods, all of them, or should i say hash methods

They should fix them. I mean they should fix placing of callback and subject params, because.
I mean
array_filter(array, callback)
array_map(callback, array)

Or they should make array a object like js

Google's slogan is (was?) "don't be evil" but all of their new MD apps are blindingly white light themes!

Retinas?, no don't need them. Thanks Google.

You never realize quite how many devices you have in your house that connect to WiFi until you set up a new network and have to reconnect all of them 😂

School thought me which "cutting-edge" technologies I should avoid at all costs:

"I want to fucking die" - tier:
- JQuery UI
- JSP
- JSF
- Vanilla PHP
- Java 5 and earlier
- Java and Rest
- Old Eclipse

"Mastering the art of headbanging" - tier:
- JPA
- JQuery

You may argue that some of them are not as bad as I think of them but the I was introduced to them made me despise them. We were never introduced to the documentations. Only to the sheets our teacher prepared and I think he completely pissed the point of some of them.

Rest example:
/resource/{resource_id}/action/{action_id}/username/{username}/password/{password}

IT is currently putting on a giant presentation at the corporate offices telling them that our development team builds all of our apps using MS PowerApps and that all of our internal development is done using no code tools…what fucking planet did they visit to come to that conclusion??

There are 10 type of people in this world... and all of them are sick of this joke.

I did a mashup of Facebook and Google Maps once. It gave you the street view to all your posts that had locations associated with them.

I didn't have room for all of them on my laptop but!

I’m dealing with the worst client I’ve ever had. The project has gone on for way longer than it should, mainly because of them adding a tonne of features to the scope. I should have told them to fuck off but I felt sorry for them because COVID was hitting them hard. So I put in a lot of extra unpaid work to try and get them through it and now they repay me by asking for a refund because they’re now broke?

They blame me for their now being broke when it’s clear they’re broke because of COVID absolutely decimating the restaurant industry. They say that because it took so long to add all those extra unlaid features it’s now my fault?

All this just as I’ve finished the app and am going through the process of releasing it to the stores. I’m probably going to have to take them to court to even get my pay out of them... Thats if they even have money to pay now.

I’ve spent all year trying to get this app out the door only for them to turn around and start abusing me on the phone when things start going down hill for them.

This whole project has been a complete waste of time when I could have been focusing on clients that don’t treat me like shit.

I can understand one variable . . . But all of them?

Me: Overcommunicate…

Them: we don’t need that kind of detail. We all get it.

Me: Undercommunicate…

Them: why so quiet? Does he know what he is saying?

can’t fucking win 😡

The awkward moments when you've been laughing too much from most of these rants and your non programming friends wonder what's funny about them after showing them and trying to explain but they look at you all like...

My girlfriend said that I say so many puns that I should write a book with all of them.

I said that I will call the book My Little Punny.

I never thought I'd say this but I fucking hate my cousins and relatives.

Money and fame hungry people, constantly judging and excluding if you are not 'cool' enough. Give them attention, obey their orders, spend your money on them if you want to be considered human by them.

They spend 24x7 of their on Instagram with all their activities and gatherings revolving around the core idea of taking pictures and showcasing on Instagram.

All of them have inherited a fuck ton of fortune from their parents and live to spend. Nothing else in their life.

Their ideology is everyone should spend all their money and even if you have $5 in your savings, you are miser.

Cousins and relatives have bullied so much in my childhood that I had to go for therapy before I stabilised a little. They still fuck around and use me.

Now that I am living a better life than what I used to, they have started mocking my parents for it by shaming and excluding them from the family.

Not only I never wished ill but I prayed for their good health and success all my life. But all they did was neglect and ignore me.

Fucking blood sucking bastards. I still don't wish bad but I never thought I'd see this day where I'd hate them so much.

As I have worked really hard for my current life, because unlike them I had no fortune to be inherited, they pick some weak aspect of my life and poke it continuously to the point that it hurts me.

I never felt so alone. If not for my parents, I'd cut off all the times with such scums and move out for a better life with new people in life.

Why am I so introvert ?
The statistics's homework was 63 problems and the prof said that we can solve them in groups so each person will have to solve less problems .

But me ! No friends , no group ! Must solve all of them on my own :(

High School teachers said I wouldn't be shit. I'm 20 years old and making more than all of them. Times are changing you assholes

All of them are useless.
It’s just a matter of time.

I would spend all the unlimited time starting multiple exciting projects and never finishing any of them.

Debugging programs is like trying to cut all of the corners off of a square. You might get them all, but when you look again, you now have 8 more.

Eventually, you get sick of the exercise, so you redefine your 1024-sided polygon to be a circle, because all the corners are features anyway.

enough is enough
to all the fucker ass morons deploying mini js frameworks with ambiguous names and undocumented functionality all fucking minified and using at least 20-30 of them on each page
dafuq you need a different slider for every section ?

Happy Friday! For all you programmers that have unresolved bugs, best of luck on fixing them before 5! :)

i was coding some SQL queries for about 4 hours. After i had all of them done (more than 20 queries), the administration chick told me she doesn't needed all of them, just the half. I just wanted to kill her...

I hate sales people. I get physical urges of puking when i see or talk to them. Because no matter what you say all i hear is "give me your money"

Well its A.. or B... maybe all of them?

!dev

I am a simple person, and i life by simple rules. Doing all necessary tasks of the day eat/sleep/work/socialize. Keeping myself and people around me in a good shape, without bothering anyone.

And then i see the majority of humanity. wasting their existance, poising their body making their brain numb with smoking, drinking and all sorts of drugs, caring only for themself and bothering others.

Please fellow devs rais your kids properly, dont let them become a worse generation then what was the last 50 years. Give them the present of logical thinking and show them kindness while also showing them the harshness of life.

PHP developers will be amongst the first souls to get into heaven because of all their suffering.

But let’s face it, most of them will go to hell for the atrocities they’ve committed against humanity.

Opened GitHub as usual today, somehow found my old repositories (created when I was a fresher). Opened them and felt why I'm still on this earth, pulled them, restructured all of them, pushed them back and now I can sleep!! 😴

Engineering managers will say things like -
- "I'll let the team decide what's best for them" & "code quality is our primary goal" -
but then they'll shoot down any & all requests to go back to some old piece of code and refactor/clean it, because of "deadlines".
Hypocrites, all of them.

How to tell this person nicely, to provide meaningful commit messages?

I know it took me probably for ever to learn it myself, and not all of them are meaningful, but come on ...

Sounds a lot like he's out for some fucked up facebook permissions, thought facebook "removed" all of them?

Our local cyber security team has asked all to remove docker from their laptops, reason they can't track them

Most of our stack is aws fargate with nodejs and java springboot

Developers = wtf ?!!

"We've refactored most part of the code to follow best practice. Many of the unit tests are broken. Please help us to fix them all".

Me: Oh joy!!!

I don't mind ads in general, I just hate that they provide tracking capabilities. That's why I block all of them. (No, still haven't found a privacy friendly advertisement provider/platform)

Back in the days, before apache, I wrote a plugin for all Mac web servers that worked like mod_rewrite.

Had a user base of >20.000 users and one of them was the webmaster of Apple 😎

Found this on Facebook... Should I be the one to tell them that apple didn't invent emoji and that the flags are all of countries?

I'm Australian and respect our natives but... Really?

!rant and !related_to_programming

Saw Black Sabbath today, final tour. Was quite sad but it felt good to see all of them giving it all. So much energy

Firefox seems to have removed a lot of extensions from their store now.... And all of them show in the addons.mozilla.org

Confused if it's really my system or mozilla

So... after a vision test on a whim, it turned out I needed glasses.

Turns out sitting in front of a screen all day did actually mess my eyes up 😂

Luckily I only need them for using the computer for extended periods of time, so managed to run them through my company as an expense.

Why, the best superpower of them all... The ability to materialize coffee based drinks from thin air.

Since we are using the same password on all our servers (both QA and Production environment) my team somehow decided that it would be easier to copy the private SSH key for to ALL servers and add the public key to the authorized.keys file.

This way we SSH without password and easily add it to new servers, it also means that anyone who gets into one server can get to all of them.

I wasn't a fan of the same password on all servers, but this private key copying is just going against basic security principles.

Do they want rogue connections? Because that's how you get them.

The struggle of being a gay CS major is that all of my classes are 95% guys but all of them are painfully straight. Send help

Traffic lights optimizer. Imagine big AI being plugged to all city's traffic lights and changing all durations in order to adjust all of them, if we add smart cars connected to it we might remove traffics at all. It is way ahead in future but would be cool.

When a Client is supposed to send you sponsor icons for the new website and all you get is a single PDF file containing all of them. Why ??!! This is even more work to do for them ???!!!

Client: Hey guys! Let us start a bunch of projects that are all dependent on each other and expect them to deliver those on time.

Me: WHAT. THE. ACTUAL. FUCK.

So our team is scaling and we've been handling increased workload and I've been wanting to hire two juniors ever since. Finally narrowed down the candidates to three, but I couldn't decide between them so after some careful considerations, I've decided to hire all three. Fingers crossed I have enough time to mentor and manage the three of them and I don't fuck them up.

Found some of my old phones, what should I do with 'em? Almost all of them run LineageOS already (i.e. all but the iPhone 6) with TWRP, so they are definitely available modification

I have to find a way to fucking sudo rm -rf /world/*/adver*

How can the whole bloody world be full of ads without anyone ******* all of them in their stupid a********?

I won't buy a shit from them..
never....

Great ux.. Have to click no to all but two of them. Fucking kill me

First of all: FUCK MS WORD!!!
second: even tho I LOVE LaTeX, fuck LaTeX tables!!!

I mean, yeah, I am used to them, but maaaaaaaannn

Fucking pigeons and birds in general. They all don't want to move their asses when I drive lol.
Do they all want me to squeeze the shit out of them?!
Wtf is wrong with them?
I'm waiting for them to slowly pass by my car, but others would maybe not show the same patience.

Got new stickers today ☺

Hopefully I'll get the devRant stickers in the next time 🙈

Don't need all of them but I wanted the small "powered by debian" sticker... 🤯

[meta-rant]

I don't get all of the OS hate here. Like, computers, and the variety of environments in which users use them, are our job. In my mind, Linux is popular, Windows is popular, macOS is popular—if I want to make it as a developer, shouldn't I understand how all three work and how to make them work for me?

When I read stuff here, I feel like there are people here who would think less of me because of what OS I prefer. That sentiment is kind of bothersome.

GitHub is acquiring all of npm.

That's going to take them forever to download.

Add your fucking requirements.txt files or atleast have a decent fucking readme. I have had to implement many official repos for AI ML papers now and most of them are shit with a load of bugs in them, cant you implement them properly while you are at it?

Also would like to add most of the sota results arent honest maybe famous ones are but the research community is full of shit really. All of that cant be changed but atleast add readmes and requirements ffs.
I have to spend days just to implement your sub par result providing fuckery.
I’d rather just code it all myself sometimes

Google keeps deprecating stuff way too quickly 👺

Get some stability.... There are like 4 or 5 libraries for just google sign in right now...
All of them are official 😵

When you touchbase on all multiple languages but don't know any of them properly.

Focus on one. Focus on one. **talks to self**

I got 99 problems and java is all of them.

Unit tests that do not test anything, even no assertions at all in some of them.

Every time I read a team member's code I feel like I get immediately closer to them. Like all of a sudden I see how they think a little more clearly.

!dev

I fucking hate how when an (musical) artist dies, all of a sudden everyone is a fucking fan of them.

First it was Lil peep, then it was fucking Xtension cord dude, then Mac Miller and now Nippsey.

Like ik damn well all the people I am friends with saying "rip Nippsey" have heard like 2 songs from him and listened to them twice.

But now that he's dead you're acting like you bumped his shit all day & everyday? Fuck off man.

Thanks everyone for showing love towards devRant community! Special thanks to those who shared their desk setup pictures with all :) Some of them were really unique and some of them were simple & sweet. If you haven't already then share your desk setup with tag "mydesk" 🙌🏼 Happy Ranting 🤗

Why don't people secure their devices if they are on a shared network? I just ran a network scan and found 3 raspberrys, all of them with the default credentials....

Progress:

Drew all day. Threw out all of them.

😐

"Learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t live long enough to make them all yourself. " - Eleanor Roosevelt

GMT/UTC
IST
ACST
CST
PST
.
.
.
.
.
Man Fuck time zones, I don't even know where I belong anymore while keeping track of all of them at once.
Fuck You In The Ass Time Zone

My work gave me three laptops because not one of them can access all the resources I need. So I have to balance my workflow around these three machines.

I really hate that I have all of these abandoned prototypes and games because almost all of them contain features that other AAA developers are claiming as next gen...

Cunt I had them working years ago!

(Let's just not talk about my fully scalable self learning AI IV was going to implement to my games)

Am I the only one who hates to see tons of inline JS on a website?

I always put all JS inside files and include them.

You know how some kid says "poo" like it's the best joke ever? That's exactly what your shitty "programmer" jokes are like, and we're all fucking tired of them (not to mention we've already heard them countless times).

Just a thought, but aren't all those "looking glass" 's, as abusable as w3c checkers to mass flood for free? there's atleast a thousand of those and none of them have any limit in place

I fucked up on my grad school essay by sending them the PDF of my college-specific paragraphs. All of them, yes.

To correct said fuckup, I attached the actual essay, but with a college-specific paragraph meant for another school.

However, I imagine that they saw the wrong essay and then went to the paragraph list and saw the paragraph meant for them?

I MADE TWO DIFFERENT FUCKUPS THAT CANCELLED EACH OTHER OUT AND I GOT ACCEPTED.

????? PROFIT??????

Well... Well... What a multi-talented personality...
Every connection I see on LinkedIn has these buzz words in their tag line: AI/ML, Cryptocurrency, Blockchain.
This guy even has Smart City...!!!
Don't know how many of them are legit... I just don't understand each of these techs are so vast... Still people manage to get expert in all of them in just few days... What's the secret...?

Finished downloading lots of tutorial videos. Now time to watch all of this. This is like Netflix for me. I don't watch much Netflix instead I watch lots of tutorial videos and practice them. Skills development rather than Netflix and chill. 😀

All of them. I’m just awkward.

So, seen this when I just arrived at work earlier this week. Made me think of COD. 😂 We hear them frequently flying over us all day.

I'm sending my love to all the millions of people out there suffering in silence, ones with unfathomable trauma and pain, all fighting battles known to none. I respect those who decided to end it all rather than to keep waiting for help that will never come to them.

Why do I get the urge to do 3-4 side projects just when I don't have time for neither of them and when I had time to do them I was just doing nothing all day...

So there is a 50/50 chance I am getting flamed af tomorrow during code review because of my branching/merging actions on thursday and friday... Merge conflicts... We all love them...

3 teams pushing changes into my code branch, all of them with crazy amounts of errors. Why me?!

With all of them going gaga about Dark Mode everywhere, is there anyone else at all who thinks light mode is so much more easy on the eyes during the day alone at least?

boss said: "we need create new version of our software. copypaste old version in new branch. so we will have dozens of versions and all of them online and working."
my question: "what if old bug will appear in all off 100500 branches? we will need fix all the versions of bug in different copies we have modified!"
boss said:"c'mon when we will get this problem then we will think about it. all the devs in world working on many versions. its easy."

your opinion?

Fuck corporate proxies. Fuck having to debug them, fuck figuring out how to use them with every piece of software you need, fuck failed builds due to some repository surprisingly being blocked for unknown reason and, most of all, fuck IT staff who deny there was a problem once it mysteriously disappears.

Know how they say programmers don't quit jobs, they quit managers?

Imagine having 3 managers that all want 3 different things and none of them know what the fuck they're talking about.

What container data structures do all of you actually use?

For me, I'd say: dynamically sized array, hashtable, and hash set. (And string if you count that.)

In the past 8 months, I've used another container type maybe once?

Meanwhile, I remember in school, we had all these classes on all these fancy data structures, I havent seen most of them since.

I was never a big fan of Github to be used within a company. So about 3 years ago where I used to work I implemented all the tools from Atlassian. Like litteraly all of them. And first I was stunned of the possibilities I had with Jira, Confluence, Bamboo and Bitbucket! But while self-hosting all thoose services you always felt, that Atlassian just bought all thoose companies and "threw them together"
BUT with newest features of Gitlab, I think they outperformed everyone! I absolutely love what they offer, even as a free service. They integrate all features in one product where you would otherwise relay on different products.
Whats important to you when it comes to VCS?

All of them... Its a trend 🤦‍♂️

Got the newest update for Emojis and I was scrolling through them, and what do you know? This one popped up. All I can think of was "Devrant did it first"

So, I've seen a github repo whose owner puts all of his code in an unformatted README.md file, no further files. I'm not sure if I should be concerned for them or scared.

Got thousands of pet projects partially completed because nobody is actually interested in collaborating and I'm too lazy to do them all the way alone.

I too got my $1 unix sticker pack (thank you very much whoever posted this by the way) and thought posting a picture of them would be redundant
First thing when I brought them to work to show them or to my colleagues I stepped out of my car and they all fell to the soaking wet ground (it was pouring down at the time)
Luckily they're of very high quality and still intact 😊

After one month of coding on Internship (doing website and app for them), I accidentally deleted folder with all code from my MacBook.
God bless disk recovery tools!

Really loving all these Udemy sales and humble book bundles, a lot of is for programming and some of them are actually really good!

It's a good time to be a Dev!

I keep changing my linux distro, I like to have a taste of all of them. What's your distro and desktop environment right now?

Fuck you 10X developer. You create 5 PR's per day and I have to read through all of them. Then you proceed to ignore all of my comments and suggestions for improvement. And of course I'm the sorry private who has to find and defuse all of your sneaky mines.

Holy fucking shit are email clients bullshit.
I don't know what happened there but if you thought the chrome-firefox-ie-egde gaps back in the days were sick - let me tell you.. email clients are made by the devil himself. All of them. All of them? Yup. Because he made some of them being owned by apple, working beatuiful and no weird stuff.
But on the same end he made some of them owned by microsoft and their office Studios. They use the word engine to render html emails. Read this again. Read it without starting to cry in agony.
But thats not enough. Let's make some of them use an ie-engine and the mac os variants going to use some webkit based renderer. This way there will be no valid ruleset to make it look good on all of them, isn't this great??
Now this might be hell already. But lets pour more salt into these wide opened wounds.
Let there be Germany and United Internet, owning trash like Web.de and GMX, whose android clients going to work completely different across Android and app-versions!
Once you've mastered these, let me introduce you to gmail. Lets take only the body node of your email and do some fuck up with it, so you have to display a non-responsive variant on mobile.
Now you might be thinking "but there are web-based clients, they'll do good ain't they?" Long story short: fuck you.
Not enough.
Let's go back to ms.
Hey dude lets make it possible to scale up your whole system. So old people can read shit better. And now the funny part: let's make it so that the word rendering engine, rendering emails goes completely mayhem on your mail, so it looks like a completely different thing! (:

If you ever receive a newsletter in your inbox and that shit looks like it's planned to look like.. appreciate that shit. Sacrifice a virgin as thanksgiving for it.

TL;DR:
E-Mail needs to die. I'm doing this for over 2 years now and this shit needs to stop asap.

When you find out all of your new fellow web devs are all from boot camps, and you spend more time teaching them than getting your work done. New job time maybe?

Got 8 tickets today and 7 of them we already done in production. Are all PMs lazy or am I just lucky??

Every time I go home I have to switch all my passwords, because my little brother watches me type them and memorize them. Every damn time. I'm running out of passwords.

Deleted 5 databases out of which 3 of them contains important data. A team is working on a big feature from months on those databases. All of the data is gone.

GUYS; STOP THE VIMIPOSTS got like all of them in the small period I‘m checkin jesus christ lord save us

Month passed so I looked at job offers and I am tired again.

All of them look the same and all of them look like crap. Some require stupid online tests preparation ( cause everyone likes to traverse tree 10000 times a day ).

Seriously I think I will go to supermarket and work there.
It’s more pleasant then getting input and pushing it in some stupid places all over again.
Finding some shit in shit pile, then moving this shit pile back and forth between different shit holes.

AI should start writing this stupid code, robots should provide food and build shelter.
The sooner the better for all of us.

When you were beating your friend in a course all year, only for them to ace the final project with you flopping. Carried them all the way to the end, and now I have to ace the exam to beat him overall, or I'll never hear the end of it 😒

A system to keep track of all my side projects, so that I can find enough time and motivation to complete at least some of them (but how will I ever complete this one?).

My Phone crashed (22%) while I was trying to send a picture of my bluescreen. (Phone needs to be charged) - fuck. my. life.
Damn driver updates. Damn 5yo iPhone.

Ever had one of those days (or many of them) where all your jokes offend, all your interactions fall flat, none of your code works, and everything you try to do just goes to crap? Hoping it’s not just me.

Best productivity hack of them all: the multi-clip clipboard, with search.

I just had to delete 60GB of files, just to install all of them again from 7 DVDs* because Rockstar can't be bothered to fix their download client.

is there any good boss or project managers in the world or all of them are just born assholes?

You know you are in trouble when a Google search shows only 5 results and all of​ them are stack overflow

Not all small people use react. Some of them use python!

ATTN: ALL DEVZ

I think we all should just band together and say FU! to all of these software companies and form one gigantic software corporation, steal all of their clients, and make them beg on their knees for us to help them. Not only that, make them go through a series of VERY stressful interviews (to see who deserves our time, of course) in which we simply say....."no" with no explanation. Bwahahahahhahahaha!!!

Wishful thinking.... 🤔

Definitely Jon Skeet. Not only is he #1 on stackoverflow. He is actively tackling the hardest problem of them all: Time zone.

Closely followed by Joel Spolsky. The founder of stack overflow. Feels like all his products (fogcreek, trello) revolutionizes developer productivity and addresses actual pain points

I just found the current main project of the people who originally wrote the codebase I’m mainly working with. After all these years they still write incoherent spaghetti mess. I need to make a throwaway GH account just to tell them people like them are the reason people hate PHP…

My high school computer labs all had Macs and SSO for the students. I found out that they had remote login enabled on all of them.
Using CSSHX, I could log in to every computer in a room simultaneously, turn the volume all the way up, and make them sing.
I never tried any privilege escalation, so my capabilities were basically limited to that.
Still fun as hell to freak out everyone in a room all at once.

cowsay.
fucking cowsay.
all the nice models and none of them work.
the things we do when we should be doing something productive.

Google.
Always thought they were at the forefront of innovation and things like that. Turns out it's the smaller companies that do all their work for them.

vscode for now. I swap editors when I get bored of one. All editors have something cool to them. Except Vim. Screw Vim.

@dfox seems so be some kind of humanoid bot, going through all rants it didn't ++ and ++ each of them with a chance of 35%.😅

This is starting to get out of hand...

We shouldnt be makig more IDEs we should be eliminating them.

Like Ryan Dahl once said:

“We should not be supporting more programming languages. We should be killing them. All these bullshit projects are confusing people.”

Same with fucking IDEs...

At work, we have a lot of daytime spenders (they just hang around so they do not sit at home all day).
I'm the only one in the entire company with somewhat decent programming experience (and I have to admit that I'm still pretty bad at it).

A few (4) of them have been assigned to one of the biggest projects (potentially even bigger than the one I work on daily) the company has ever had.

here is the fun part:
- 2 of them only just started coding and have no clue what they are doing at all (they heavily struggle with HTML).
- 1 of them overengineers everything (in a bad way) because she doesn't know how to do it somewhat properly.
- 1 of them doesn't even code (only sitting there giving ideas n stuff... basically the "client").

As a bonus point:
- None of them knows how to database
- None of them knows how to back-end
- None of them knows how to design

This is going to be fun, especially since I'm going to refuse to have my hands in there even the slighest outside of recommending stuff (like using a framework, certain libraries etc.) :^)

How to interpret when you receive bugs reported for your application?
Should I be happy that someone is using them or just be sad that I gotta fix them and how poorly I wrote the code.

Note: will obviously consider turning some of them into features. Though not all.

We were in the process of signing up an enterprise company. We sent them a spreadsheet requesting a list of all of their staff so that we can create user accounts for all of them. That dumb shit at the company printed out the spreadsheet and then filled out the printouts using her pen and then took a photograph of it and emailed it back to us.

How do I get all the dust off the holes and keep them out of this (ABS Gaming case)?

The pains of having 0 girl programmers in college while all of them are enrolled in a CS branch.

That moment when you know Python, and start in a serious national competition. You expect god knows how hard tasks....and all of a sudden you realise that all of them are in turtle...rip

Dfox should make a script to pull all the creative curses from devrant and publish a list of them.

Like search for every standard curse (fuck, shit, cunt, etc) and then print them out with the five or so words before and after it to hopefully capture most of the longer creative swears.

Love it when I try to find a free Web hosting to do a little testing online... But All of them have a broken PhpMyAdmin panel. >.<

The codebase Im working with is like someone took 3 sets of earphones, crumpled them together in their pocket, and then threw them into a bag full of spaghetti and wasps. Too confusing to comprehend and dependencies absolutely everywhere. All I have to do is port over a relatively straightforward piece of functionality from one iOS app to another. Core Data has other plans it seems....

Day 3 of devWholesome...

Go tell a loved one you love them! Give them a hug, call them, text them, etc. Its always great to give love to the ones closest to you. Try and spend some time with them! Again make sure you are eating your meals and drinking your water (maybe with your family?) as well as taking care of yourself and keeping yourself from stress. And as always, make the most out of your day!

Note: If you want to see any devWholesome posts, you can look at all of them by looking up the devwholesome tag!

When compiling my first C++ program after sometime working on Python I got 17 compile time errors. All of them were either missing ';' or an extra ":". Damn you syntax!

After months of trying to help someone by working late with them, teaching them all I could, showing them why a bug came up, i eventually got annoyed at the stupidity and asked them to "engage their brain". It doesn't seem big but I imagine how they must have felt.

It seems Lightroom is not WYSIWYG....

Spent a month touching up photos manually from DNG and now finally Exported them to JPG... most look really bad even though they look really nice in LR...

Just reset all of the adjustments and told LR to auto edit all of them... they look a lot nicer after exporting....

So it seems the correct process is now:

1. Auto correct (but leave white balancing)
2. Export
3. Manually fix the ones I don't like

When you're in Lisbon and all of your company its at websummit but the developers team have to watch online because it's not important for them. For real?

We had late night work... So our seniors thought of going out for drinks and asked us to join!!
We beeing the interns, bill was all on them ;)
Had fun...

What is the main flaw of Ruby ?

It has so many ways to install that, if you try all of them, you'll be using no Ruby at all.

I was going crazy because IDK when I installed an old version of Ruby with RVM, than a newer version with Homebrew, and now I am getting totally crazy!!!!!

It all began during November 5th--a regular day like any other, about to become the weirdest of them all.

I swallowed a funny looking pill.

Captain America: Winter Soldier

Thug officer: "Deploy Algorithm"

Me as random operator: "Like all of them? At once? There are tens of thousands running on this thing"

I want an rx580 for my new pc build, but all of them are sold out...

Damn cryptominers, now I'm realy pissed!! 😠

Life is like a box of choc... FUCKING MORONS, that you have to deal with or be a psychopath and kill them all

- But all tests are green!
- Of course, you've ignored all of them!!!

You know prior to becoming a dev and learning the ticket system I never had a dislike against any number now I hate most of all of them

[LANGUAGE DESIGN]

What are some interesting / unique approaches you've seen to representing generics in syntax? The only one I know is the Java/C#/Typescript way of using a separate set of parentheses and either specifying all of them or none, and I've already experimented a bit with passing them as regular arguments which works great with autocurry but every syntax option for inference adds visual noise.

Y'know what.
Fuck all the political posts here,
and fuck all of you who see them as a opening to spout your counter arguments.