Code review titles by year:

1990 - your code is using to much memory
1995 - your code is not running on window 95
2000 - your code is slow
2003 - your code don't have tests
2005 - your code is not 64 bit
2009 - your code is not using mvc patters
2010 - your code is not horizontal scalable
2011 - your code should be written in js
2015 - your code is not mobile ready
2020 - your code is racist

Developer Says: We have trained a model to automatically categorize user posts.

Sales Department Says: We are building a decentralized peer to peer blockchain neural network based on a scalable containerized cloud of quantum computers to power internet of things devices in augmented reality while users get driven around in autonomous vehicles powered by machine learning and pay for renewable energy with cryptocurrencies.

*me, coding at a pub*
*random dude walks up to me*
He: "what are you doing? Programming? What?"
Me: "yup. That's a horizontally and vertically scalable webservice, that's using amqp, rest APIs and encryption to schedule starting, stopping and autoscaling of a total of 90 heroku applications. This webinterface *showing* allows you to trigger starts and stops manually and monitor all processes."
He: "oh, so you are programming a Website? In HTML?"
Me: "euhm........ Yes."

I understand this dude had probably no clue what I was talking about.. Yet I am angry at him. Reducing more than 12k loc to HTML... Go fuck yourself.

My dream is to build a shopping cart for web stores that doesn't fucking suck.

Seriously Bigcommerce, Shopify, Magneto, etc. All of you can eat bag of dicks and burn in hell for ever.

I don't care what languages you fancy, all of their stacks are a pile of shit, monkey patched together with popsicle sticks and duct tape and it all falls apart with high concurrency.

All their greasy haired sales teams will throw all manners of horse shit at the poor bastards who are trying to run a business so they can pad their commission checks... "High availability", "scalable", "reliable", "Increased conversation rate"... Lying dick fucks, all of them! I am calling them the fuck out on that snake oil they're all peddling.

The only thing worse than their shit APIs is the shit documentation and the shit support that accompanies them.

Support of these platforms are pretty much all the same, sure mayhaps one has 24*7 phone support and another closes at 9 or some shit like that, either way the only people they put on the phone are monkeys that will freeze up and say "I'm not a developer so I can't help you"... Guess what, "Eric"! I didn't ask if you're a fucking dev! I'm calling because one of your devs fucked up and I need you to tell him to unfuck it so I can get the fuck on with my day!

Their app/plugin market places are shameful to say the least. The overall quality of software is somewhat dire and it's mostly dominated by oversees developers who speak English about as well as the language they're developing with (not very well usually).

I could go on until I hit the character limit but I'm gonna end it here by saying, all shopping carts suck and they should burn for eternity in the depths of hell so that a savior can free all developers from this agonizing torment.

Here's a true story about a "fight" between me and my project manager...

I've been working as a Frontend developer for nearly two years, managed to acquire a decent amount of knowledge, in some cases well above the rest of my coworkers, and one day I got into a bit of a disagreement with my project manager.

Basically he wanted me to copy/paste some feature from another project (needless to say, that... "thing" has more bugs than an ant farm), and against his orders I started doing that feature from scratch, to build a solid foundation from the very start.
I had a lengthy deadline to deliver that feature, they were expecting me to take some time to fix some of the bugs as well, but my idea was to make it bug-free from the moment the feature was released. Both my method and the one I should be copying worked the exact same, but mine was superior in every way, had no bugs, was scalable and upgradeable with little effort, there was no reason not to accept it.

We use scrum as our work methodology, so we have daily meetings. In one of those, the project manager asked me how was the progress on that new feature, and I told him I was just polishing up the code and integrating it with the rest of the project, to make sure everything was working properly. I still had a full day left before the deadline set for that feature, and I was expecting to take about half an hour to finish up a couple lines of code and test everything, no issues so far...

But then he exploded, and demanded to know why wasn't I copying the code from the other project, to which I answered "because this way things will work better".
Right after he said that the feature was working on the other project, copying and pasting it should take a few minutes to do and maybe a couple of extra hours to fix any issues that might have appeared...
The problem here is, the other project was made by trainees, I honestly can't navigate through 3 pages without bumping into an average of 2 errors per page, I was placed into this new project because they know I do quality code, and they wanted this project to be properly made, unlike the previous one, so I was baffled when he said that he preferred me to copy code instead of doing "good" code...
My next reply was "just because something has been made and is working that doesn't mean that it has been properly made nor will work as it should, I could save a few hours copying code (except I wouldn't save any, it would take me more time to adapt the code than to do it from scratch) but then I'll be wasting weeks of work because of new bugs that will be reported over time, because trust me, they will appear... "

I told him this in a very calm manner, but everybody in the meeting room paused and started staring at me, not many dare challenge that specific project manager, and I had just done that...
After a few seconds of silence the PM finally said... "look, if you manage to finish your task inside the set deadline I'll forget we ever had this conversation, but I'll leave a note on my book, just in case..."

I finished that task in about 30 mins, as expected, still had 7 hours till deadline, and I completely forgot about that feature until now because it has never given any issues whatsoever, and is now being used for other projects as well.

It was one of my proudest/rage inducing moments in this project, and honestly, I think I have hit my PM with a very big white glove because some weeks after this event the CEO himself came to the whole team to congratulate us on the outstanding work being made so far, in a project that acted against the PM's orders 90% of the time.

C'mon people! Spread the word! "The cloud" is not "just someone elses computer", it's a completely different way to compute!

I'm so tired of the oversimplifications done trying to explain the consept. The massive amount of work, sweat and tears put into the orchestration, automation and abstraction layers to deliver truly elastic, scalable and self healing infrastructure, applications and services deserves a fuckload more respect than "just someone elses computer"!

Hosting and time-sharing have been with us almost as long as we have had computers (mainframes etc), but dismissing the effort of thousands upon thousands of devs and ops people to make systems robust and automated enough to literally being able to throw a wrench in the engine any time during production and not have the systems suffer is fucking insane!

The whole reason the term "cloud" is so fitting is not just because it was coined from the cloud-shape used in technical and non-technical drawings and illustrations symbolising the internet, but also because of the illusion of magic it gives the end-user not being able to see "whats inside the music box".

I’m a .NET desktop fullstack dev these days… Never worked web unless for my own small needs/personal projects.
I started using tech one way or the other by the time windows was version 3.1 and been through quite a bit ground-breaking changes in the industry of software development and the internet but if there’s one thing I cannot understand of it all, no matter how much thought I put into it is: How the fuck did we manage to make it so fucking complicated to develop anything these days?
I remember like it was yesterday that you could stand a website with HTML, CSS and JS, three fucking files and you’ve made yourself a single page site. Then came the word “Responsive”, “Responsive” written everywhere. Fair enough, grid system popped up. All of the sudden jQuery was summoned… and everything that happened after this point has been a fucking circus of high-pitched teens talking on conferences about fucking libraries and frameworks to make integration with real time, highly scalable, eco-friendly, serverless, data driven, genome aware, genderless, quantum technologies to interact with bio dynamically generated organisms, namely fucking users.
Every fucking bit of the process of building a mobile/web application seems to be stopped by yet another incredibly dumb attempt to suicide a developer. Can you go from starting an app and publishing an app without jumping through a thousand VERY specific hoops? No, fuck no.
I fucking hate it… It’s a bit hard to get Desktop dev jobs these days but for as long as I work on IT I will continue to stick to that area, until someone for the love of life comes up with a fucking solution to all this decadent circus of bureaucratic technocracy.
Fuck big industry, fuck tech giants, fuck javascript and webassembly, fuck kids putting ASCII art on console applications that I DON’T FUCKING NEED to install dependencies THAT I DON’T FUCKING NEED to extend functionality on frameworks that I DON’T FUCKING NEED… oh wait, I do need all this because YOU FUCKING MADE IT MANDATORY NOW! FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOU!!!

Prof: So yeah this is going to be difficult. We're going to make the scalable math library. Then we have to make a functional finite elements library using that. Then make a multiphysics engine using that library. This could easily take your entire PhD. Are you prepared for that?

Me: May I show you something?

Prof: Sure, sure.

Me, showing him: We can use moose to code in the multiphysics. It's built atop libmesh for the finite elements. Which can be built with a petsc backend. Which we can run on GPUs and CPUs, up to 200k cores. All of this has been done for us. This project will, at worst, take a couple months.

Prof: ...

Guys, libraries. Fucking. Libraries. Holy fucking shit.

(I am an entry-inter-intermediate level dev)
P = Person

P:Hey Can you build me a POS system for free?

Me: Yea whatever. (because... immediate family member)

P:Ok Great.

Me: *starts working on it.. almost done with inventory control and layouts in one night*

P: When will it be done? and I need it in a full screen window not a browser!!

Me: Soon..and I have not worked in ASP yet. So it will be a full screen browser app.

P: Aww you cant do it fast? You are not skilled enough??? Poor you, you are not good enough. I can do it in a few hours. Just write a C program which stores entries in a txt file. I dont want sql shes-que-el on my system. You dont want to use .txt because it will be harder for you. Poor you.. no skill.

Me: *raging to a level where i turn into kryptonium and burn superman to death but still keeping my calm* You will get it when you get it. Period

Inner Me: GO FUCK YOURSELF. IM DOING THIS FOR FREE SO THAT IT HELPS YOU OUT. NAGGING ME WONT HELP YOUR CAUSE ONE BIT. GO FUCKING LEARN HOW TO CODE YOURSELF AND MAKE IT YOURSELF OR BUY IT FOR A FUCK TON OF UNJUSTIFIED MONEY. IM GIVING YOU A BEAUTIFUL LAYOUT, GREAT APPLICATION ARCHITECTURE USING LARAVEL AND GREAT DATABASE DESIGN WHICH WOULD BE SCALABLE AND PRODUCE MEANINGFUL REPORTS. WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU PREFER A .TXT FILE OVER A WELL DESIGNED DATABASE. WOULD YOU FUCKING OPEN THAT HAMSTER CAGE OF A BRAIN OF YOURS WITH A KNIFE OR A SCREWDRIVER?
IF ITS THAT EASY FOR YOU GO FUCKING DO IT YOURSELF AND STOP BOTHERING ME. I AM TAKING MY TIME OUT FROM FREELANCING TO HELP YOU OUT. I COULD BE SPENDING THIS TIME ON OTHER PROJECTS WHICH WOULD GET ME SOMEWHERE. THE ONLY FUCKING REASON IM DOING IT BECAUSE I MIGHT BE ABLE TO RESELL THE POS (PIECE OF SHIT) TO OTHER PEOPLE IN FUTURE AND MAKE MY SHARE OF UNJUSTIFIED SHIT TON OF MONEY.

A few months ago I was working on a (totally underpaid project) where my friend and I had to basically rewrite the entire program our client was using.

So we started planning and wrote all sorts of documentation to show the client our ideas for the new flow of the program, the new structure of the GUI and a few more details of what would the inner workings of the new app. He seemed to like all those ideas and gave us the green light to go through with the project and start coding.

We spent a couple of months coding, redoing the front end from scratch (with a different framework even, so I couldn't reuse any code from the old version) and completely redesigning the back end so it would be better, faster, more scalable etc etc etc. During this process, we obviously showed the progress of the app to our client, explaining everything we had been doing, and he seemed to like every new version we showed him.

When we were in one of the last stages in development (basically sending versions of the app to the client for evaluation), the guy suddenly changed his mind. After agreeing on everything we had been showing him over the last months, he sent an email saying:

"...the new system makes the app too complicated. I want this program to be as simple to use as possible; so we should revert the "Policy" system to essentially what it was in the last major version. The only change I want to make is [...] and everything else is essentially the same as the last Policy system."

So basically he wanted us to FUCKING UNDO EVERYTHING WE HAD DONE AND REVERT THE FUCKING PROGRAM TO THE FUCKING VERSION HE HAD BEFORE HIRING US!!!! WHAT THE FUCK????

YOU WANTED US TO CHANGE YOUR APP AND THEN YOU SUDDENLY CHANGE YOUR MIND AFTER 3 FUCKING MONTHS WHEN THE PROCESS IS DONE???

GO FIND A SWORDFISH TO FUCK YOU IN THE ASS, IM NOT WORKING FOR YOU ANYMORE

God, it feels good to let that out.

I fucking HATE testing JavaScript. It's such fucking bullshit. I've been struggling to test one simple functionality for multiple hours. It's probably one stupid thing I can't figure out, so I hope some sleep will grant me a fresh look tomorrow.

Also it's absolute bullshit the amount of libraries and dependencies you need to have to get some proper scalable tests going. Jasmine, Babel, ES2015, yarn/npm (because Jenkins is too fucking old to handle yarn). React, react test helpers, webpack. The list continues. FUCK OFF!

Manager: what is the estimations for this task A nd B?

Me: Task A: 3 months for 1 guys, and task B: 2 Months

Manager: ok, u can have a fresher, and finish task A, and u urself can pick task B, u can train him and bring him up to pace...

Me: (trying to recalibrate my estimations)...

Manager: oh and u have 3 weeks to deliver production ready scalable quality code with junits, documentation and testing done...

Me: then why the fuck did u bother for the estimates?

Manager: oh that is just for the process complaince...I don't want any trouble in audit...

Build high scalable web apps they say, it will be fast they say

I hate when idiots make assumptions without basis. My company so higher up idiots decided not to use Python. I said why they said it’s not scalable. I asked have anyone of you ever wrote micro service which can handle millions request every hours? Have you ever wrote service in Python? Have you ever worked on Python? Architect said but Python doesn’t have type support? I said there is use Python3. He said I want to validate my request payload. I told have you tried form and decorators. I told, I have 8 years experience. I worked in every language and I one has advantage over others depending on situation. Then they said, but we want only Java as finding resources is easy. I said have you checked git Python overtook Java in case resources, you are outdated. I don’t want to leave company but even after so many argument these idiots just dropping Python and because of that I am loosing so many good resources.

In january 2023 i was contacted by a recruiter offering me a job position.

I DID NOT ASK FOR A JOB.

I WAS NOT LOOKING FOR A JOB.

THEY contacted ME.

Ok. So i went along with it and see how it goes. They probably wont hire me nor would i give a shit. Chatted with this recruiter for a while. She forgets to answer my message for 5 fucking days. Twice. Once because she was doing God knows what and the second time because she was on paid vacation. Fine i don't give a shit about you at all anyways.

So this recruiter chatting has been stretched out for several days. I think over a WEEK. So she forwarded me to their lead developer.

I applied to work as a full stack java spring boot backend + angular frontend engineer.

So:
- java backend
- angular frontend
- full stack
- shitload of devops
- shitload of projects i built
- worked with clients
- have CS degree, graduated
- worked a job at their rival company

What could go fucking wrong with all of these stats right?

During technical + hr interview (3 of us on google meets) they asked me what salary I'd be comfortable with.

I said $1500/month straight out.

keep in mind:
- In my country $500 or $600 is a salary for engineers per month
- You get a raise of +$150 which is around $750 after working for 1+ year
- You can earn $1000+ after you work for +2 years
- Rent here is $200-300 a month at minimun. And because of inflation its just getting worse especially with food. So this salary is not for living but for survival.

Their lead engineer gave me a WHOLE ASS FUCKING PROJECT TO BUILD and i had to code it within 10 days. Great so at least 17+ days of my fucking life to waste on these fucktards who contacted ME.

The project was about building a web app coffee shop literally what mcdonalds has when you order via those tablets. I had to build this in java spring boot and angular. I had to integrate:
- docker, devops
- barmen, baristas, orders
- people can order at the table or to go
- each barista can take 5 orders at a time
- each coffee has different types of fields and brewing time
- each barman brews each coffee different period of time
- barista cant take more than 5 orders for to go until barman finishes the previous order
- barista can take more than 5 orders but if those orders were ordered from table, and they have to be put in queue
- had to build CRUD admin functionality coffee's
- had to export them all of the postman routes
- had to design a scalable database infrastructure for all of this alone
- shitload of stuff more

And guess what. After 10 painful days I BUILT THE WHOLE THING MYSELF AND I BUILT EVERYTHING THEY ASKED FOR. IT WAS WORKING.

Submitted it. They told me they'll contact me within 7 days to schedule the final Technical interview after they review what i built. Great so another 17+7 days of my fucking time wasted.

OH and they also told me to send them THE WHOLE GITHUB REPOSITORY AND TRANSFER OWNERSHIP TO THEIR COMPANY'S OWNERSHIP. once you do this you cant have your repository back. WTF? WHY CANT YOU JUST REVIEW THE CODE FROM MY PUBLIC REPOSITORY? That was so weird but what can i fucking do argue with these dickheads?

After a week of them not answering i contacted them via email. They forgot and apologized. Smh. Then they scheduled an interview within 3 days. Great more of my time wasted.

During interview i was on a google meets with their lead engineer, 1 backend java spring boot engineer and 1 angular frontend developer. They were milking me dry for 1 whole fucking hour.

They only pointed out the flaws in what i built, which are miniscule and have not once congratulated me on the rest of the good parts. I explained them i had to rush those parts so the code may not be perfect. I had other shit to do in my life and not work for your shitty project for $0/hour for 10 days you fucking dickriders.

So they quickly ran over to theory. They asked me where is jwt token stored. Who generates it. How the backend knows to authenticate user by it. I explained.

What are solid principles. I said i cant explain what is it but i understand how it works, why its needed and how to implement it (they can clearly see in the project i just build that i applied SOLID principles everywhere) - but i do admit i dont know the theory behind it 100% clearly.

Then they asked me about observables and promises in angular. I explained them how they work and how subscribe method is used (as they can clearly see that i used it in the code). Then they asked me to explain them under the hood of how observables work. The fuck? I dont know and dont care? But i can learn it as i work there?

Etc

Final result: after dragging this for 1 fucking month for miserable $1500/month they told me: we can either hire you now but for a much lower salary which you probably wont be happy with, or you can study more these things we discussed "and know why the car leaks oil" and reapply back to us in 2-3 months!

After so many years of Python, using C# for writing scalable code so easy.

I got my first programming job half a year ago, the lead developer there is really fucked up... he is old fashioned and stubborn as hell. He developed a platform that is a mess, his comment: “it works”... but now I have to fix it... I argued with my boss and convinced him to put more time in making it more scalable and feature proof. But the lead developer back then... he didn’t agree it seems like he want to do everything as quickly as possible... now half a year later he stopped working for us and I’m the lead developer now.

And I’m discovering more and more bad decisions... HOWWWW

WHAT DID THIS GUY DO???

At one time I was arguing with him and he backfired a comment: “I’m doing it like this for 10 years”... so I guess that’s the problem... he didn’t put effort in keeping up with the latest developments...

There is literally no structure in his work, every file is different... HOW DO I FIX THIS IN A NICE WAY??? I’m thinking to just start over again...

devRant is awesome, but Disney also manages to light-up my day.
This is how Wall-E became a beloved member of our team, and helped me put a smile on my face throughout a very frustrating project.

It all started in a company, not so far far away from here, where management decided to open up development to a wider audience in the organization. Instead of continuing the good-old ping-pong between Business and IT...

'not meeting my expectations' - 'not stated in project requirements'
'stuff's not working - 'business is constantly misusing'
'why are they so difficult' - 'why don't they know what they really want'
'Ping, pong, plok... (business loses point) ping, pong'

... the company aimed to increase collaboration between the 2 worlds, and make development more agile.

The close collaboration on development projects is a journey of falling and getting back up again. Which can be energy draining, but to be honest there is also a lot of positive exposure to our team now.
The relevant part for this story is that de incentive of business teams throughout these projects was mainly to deliver 'something' that 'worked'. Where our team was also very keen on delivering functionality that is stable, scalable, properly documented etc. etc.
We managed to get the fundamentals in place, but because the whole idea was to be more agile or less strict throughout the process, we could not safeguard all best-practices were adhered to during each phase of a project. The ratio Business/IT was simply out of balance to control everything, and the whole idea was to go for a shorter development lifecycle.
One thing for sure, we went a lot faster from design through development to deployment, high-fives followed and everybody was happy (for some time).
Well almost everybody, because we knew our responsibility would not end after the collection of credits at deployment, but that an ongoing cycle of maintenance would follow. As expected, after the celebrations also complaints, new requirements and support requests on bug fixes were incoming.
Not too enthusiastic about constantly patching these projects, I proposed to halt new development and to initiate a proper cleaning of all these projects. With the image in mind of a small enthusiastic fellow, dedicated to clean a garbage-strewn wasteland for humanity, I deemed "Wall-E" a very suited project name. With Wall-E on board, focus for the next period was on completely restructuring these projects to make sure all could be properly maintained for the future.
I knew I was in for some support, so I fetched some cool wall papers to kick-start each day with a fresh set of Wall-E's on my monitors. Subsequently I created a Project Wall-E status report, included Wall-E in team-meetings and before I knew it Wall-E was the most frequently mentioned member of the team. I could not stop to chuckle when mails started to fly on whether "Wall-E completed project A" or if we could discuss "Wall-E's status next report-out". I am really happy we put in the effort with the whole team to properly deploy all functionality. Not only the project became a success, also the idea of associating frustrating activities with a beloved digital buddy landed well in our company. A colleagues already kickstarted 'project Doraemon', which is triggering a lot of fun content. Hope it may give you some inspiration, or at least motivate you to watch Wall-E!

PS: I have been enjoying the posts, valuable learnings and fun experiences for some time now. Decided to also share a bit from my side, here goes my first rant!

We have a long time developer that was fired last week. The customer decided that they did not want to be part of the new Microsoft Azure pattern. They didn't like being tied to a vendor that they had little control over; they were stuck in Windows monoliths for the last 20 years. They requested that we switch over to some open source tech with scalable patterns.

He got on the phone and told them that they were wrong to do it. "You are buying into a more expensive maintenance pattern!" "Microsoft gives the best pattern for sustaining a product!" "You need to follow their roadmap for long term success!" What a fanboy.

Now all of his work including his legacy stuff is dumped on me. I get to furiously build a solution based on scalable node containers for Kubernetes and some parts live in AWS Lambda. The customer is super happy with it so far and it deepened their resolve to avoid anything in the "Microsoft shop" pattern. But wow I'm drowning in work.

I was working on a very database heavy PHP app about six months ago. All database access was done directly, with hardcoded SQL strings.
I'd suggested switching over to an ORM during the upcoming major verson's rewrite, and FINALLY got approval to start integrating one.
The next week I'm told that I need to trash all the code I'd just written, since the decision to use an orm has been reversed.

The rationale? According to management, ORMs aren't "scalable enough for our application" and would "reduce developer productivity". I pointed out that we would be processing ~10 concurrent operations, maximum; I was told that the technically details didn't matter and the person I was working under had the final say because they'd worked at IBM, briefly, as an intern.

I stopped working on that project about two weeks later, thankfully.

I am sick and tired of big companies trying to shove their technologies down developer's throat in the name of developer advocacy. Last week I attended one of the IBM workshops which was supposed to be about ML and AI techniques but ended being solely about IBM Cloud (Bluemix), click here, click there, purchase it. I am not against developer advocacy and them trying to advertise their product but they should always keep in mind that developers won't get interested if they aren't learning any transferable core skills.

I was checking a course on Udacity about building scalable java apps. It turned out to be about Google Cloud Platform, auto scaling and nothing much. How deceiving is that?

At a Halloween party 2 devs started talking about how scalable PHP is...

"I found this tool that we should use because I'm a manager and its simple enough that my tiny little manager brain could set it up!"

Oh wow good for you, Mr. Manager! And what, praytell, does the tool require?

"All proprietary and cost-ineffecient products: MSSQL Server and Windows IIS! What do you mean we have to get the data out in order for it to be scalable? Look at it! I set up a website by clicking on an EXE i downloaded from github!"

Amazing, Mr. Manager. So you violated our security practices AND want to pocket even MORE of our budget?

Kindly fuck right off and start suggesting things instead of making people embarrass you into stoping your fight for your tool (has happened on more than one occassion).

I've started programming when I was 12. Right now I'm 25. I can clearly say that I'm passionate, I've touched I think almost every "type" of programming ever. From game development, through IoT and finished at eCommerce. I never stop learning.

My workmates are pissing me off. For code review sometimes I'm waiting even 3 days when I've changed like 5-6 files. They don't want to introduce "new" technologies (by new I mean who are existing at least 2-3 years, got stable community). They don't want to refactor some core of the application because it's working - they don't care about it as they can later say "legacy system so this basic feature took me a week".

Code quality means for them "use shorthand syntax, this code is ugly" - the basic shit which can do any linter

When I'm doing code review, I'm checking out to this branch, test it, check if the solution is scalable. Then I make my comments. I just hear "stop bitching about it just approve".

Thank God I've made through interview and I'm going to switch job in next week.

Want to make someone's life a misery? Here's how.

Don't base your tech stack on any prior knowledge or what's relevant to the problem.

Instead design it around all the latest trends and badges you want to put on your resume because they're frequent key words on job postings.

Once your data goes in, you'll never get it out again. At best you'll be teased with little crumbs of data but never the whole.

I know, here's a genius idea, instead of putting data into a normal data base then using a cache, lets put it all into the cache and by the way it's a volatile cache.

Here's an idea. For something as simple as a single log lets make it use a queue that goes into a queue that goes into another queue that goes into another queue all of which are black boxes. No rhyme of reason, queues are all the rage.

Have you tried: Lets use a new fangled tangle, trust me it's safe, INSERT BIG NAME HERE uses it.

Finally it all gets flushed down into this subterranean cunt of a sewerage system and good luck getting it all out again. It's like hell except it's all shitty instead of all fiery.

All I want is to export one table, a simple log table with a few GB to CSV or heck whatever generic format it supports, that's it.

So I run the export table to file command and off it goes only less than a minute later for timeout commands to start piling up until it aborts. WTF. So then I set the most obvious timeout setting in the client, no change, then another timeout setting on the client, no change, then i try to put it in the client configuration file, no change, then I set the timeout on the export query, no change, then finally I bump the timeouts in the server config, no change, then I find someone has downloaded it from both tucows and apt, but they're using the tucows version so its real config is in /dev/database.xml (don't even ask). I increase that from seconds to a minute, it's still timing out after a minute.

In the end I have to make my own and this involves working out how to parse non-standard binary formatted data structures. It's the umpteenth time I have had to do this.

These aren't some no name solutions and it really terrifies me. All this is doing is taking some access logs, store them in one place then index by timestamp. These things are all meant to be blazing fast but grep is often faster. How the hell is such a trivial thing turned into a series of one nightmare after another? Things that should take a few minutes take days of screwing around. I don't have access logs any more because I can't access them anymore.

The terror of this isn't that it's so awful, it's that all the little kiddies doing all this jazz for the first time and using all these shit wipe buzzword driven approaches have no fucking clue it's not meant to be this difficult. I'm replacing entire tens of thousands to million line enterprise systems with a few hundred lines of code that's faster, more reliable and better in virtually every measurable way time and time again.

This is constant. It's not one offender, it's not one project, it's not one company, it's not one developer, it's the industry standard. It's all over open source software and all over dev shops. Everything is exponentially becoming more bloated and difficult than it needs to be. I'm seeing people pull up a hundred cloud instances for things that'll be happy at home with a few minutes to a week's optimisation efforts. Queries that are N*N and only take a few minutes to turn to LOG(N) but instead people renting out a fucking off huge ass SQL cluster instead that not only costs gobs of money but takes a ton of time maintaining and configuring which isn't going to be done right either.

I think most people are bullshitting when they say they have impostor syndrome but when the trend in technology is to make every fucking little trivial thing a thousand times more complex than it has to be I can see how they'd feel that way. There's so bloody much you need to do that you don't need to do these days that you either can't get anything done right or the smallest thing takes an age.

I have no idea why some people put up with some of these appliances. If you bought a dish washer that made washing dishes even harder than it was before you'd return it to the store.

Every time I see the terms enterprise, fast, big data, scalable, cloud or anything of the like I bang my head on the table. One of these days I'm going to lose my fucking tits.

When I think how big companies like Google, Amazon, Netflix manage all their services so well (all those load balancings, caching, etc. ), I feel so bad I don't know anything about it. I don't even know how people decide which technology to use. E.g., for a scalable Web app, one can use Node.js or maybe Django (but not definitely Flask, I suppose). Also, which DBMS to use, how to write flawless APIs. You see, I am just beginning my career. Any recommendations (books, videos, etc.) that teach these things? Please help.

My boss wants to be asynchronous with php. Then to render the backend async he wants to use beanstalk using python to be scalable.

I said : we can use node.js it's already asynchronous. And we don't care about the langage php python...

Boss : node.js isn't scalable, there is no security it's not good enough, it's not enough safe. I code with php since 15 years and it's better than node. To much problem in the node.js version 0.12.

OK BUT NOW WE HAVE NODEJS VERSION 6 LTS. WAKE UP. OMG I GIVE IT UP LET'S GO.

Why do recruiters say you need 5 years of experience for a certain framework when the framework was released 2 fucking years ago. Don't they consult with engineers what they want or do they just think of a random fucking number and write it down. And why do they think the OOPs concepts are totally different for all programming languages?? Also the job descriptions are usually very vague and ambiguous.

JD for SDET: you will work with engineers and help build scalable solutions bla bla

JD for SDE: you will work to build scalable solutions bla bla

Is this deliberately done so that a poor candidate wastes his or her time applying for a wrong position or even giving an interview??

Previous dev needed to validate new user names as unique. His solution? Query Top 1000 rows and do a string comparison. Totally scalable, amirite?

Think twice code Once, if I had a cent for every time I've jump right into the code without a proper analysis or design just to notice that my whole implementation is not functional or scalable I'd be a millionare

Boss : we have to do 'task', come up with ideas.
Me: cool

Few days later...

B: we will do 'A' to accomplish the task.
M: but I have few ideas that are better.
B: Nevermind, we are doing 'A'
M: but 'A' is impossible to scale.
B: doesn't matter its only POC
M: I have better non scalable solution, which is easier and faster to Implement.
B: yeah whatever, we are doing 'A'.
B: also I am on leave next week, so take care of completing 'A'.

WTF.

P. S. Was happy for few months, didn't need devrant, guess I will need vent out again.

Sometime ago I was introduced to that game "Stardew Valley", as a way to relax and unwind since it is a dynamic-pace simple-storyline and even simpler interactivity open world.
Well, it worked like a charm (sarcasm). I have a save where I am a profit-maxinizing capitalist who tries to score a million gp in an year - so a regular gamer approach. It wasn't the goal here.
So I got a second save where I just go along, getting enough to get by and no hurry to build farm buildings and whatnot, but slowly building up NPC relationships.
Man, what a good metaphor for life. That approach actually unwinds me.

But the dev in me is just like "just, woah! that is an stellar use case for GPT+3 APIs! You could have NPCs with dynamic adaptative dialog! *And* you can monetize it (piracy-proof!) by charging for API calls! No shops, no collectibles, just a unique but scalable experience!"

What is wrong with me? I gotta change into the second-save mindset...

Daghhhhhhhh Kafka.

Set it up, seems to work fine.

Oh no...! Take a broker down, then messages go missing - hmm, that's not right. Fine, I'll just look into... Ah, bad replication factor, my fault. So then it's all fixed! Woop. Wait, no. Some messages still going missing occasionally. Oh, only set to "at most once" delivery. My bad, fix that, and... now everything is out of order. Oh, ok, partitions setup wrongly. Wtf, now the whole thing stalls when there's a network blip until a restart. Right, ok, looks like commits have to receive acks in the library I'm using before continuing. Switch to a library that uses CommitWithoutReply. Brilliant....

Apart from said library seems to have commits failing all over the place because it keeps trying to commit during a rebalance 🙄😒😤

The frustrating thing is I KNOW for a fact that Kafka is a fault tolerant, resilient, horizontally scalable thing capable of handling stupid amounts more than I'm throwing at it without missing a beat. But damn,configuring it, and checking you've configured it sanely is a royal, monumental PITA.

Longest I've worked without rest + why?

Over 24 hours. Why?

In our old system, the database had fields, for example, a customer like Total97, Total98, etc. to store values by year (or some date-specific value).

Every January 1, we had to add fields to accommodate the upcoming year and make the appropriate code changes to handle the new fields.

One year the UPS shipping rates changed and users didn't want to 'lose' the old rates, so they wanted new fields added (Rate98, Rate99, etc) so they could compare old vs. new. That required a complete re-write of most of the underlying applications because users wanted to see the difference on any/all applications that displayed a shipping rate. I'll throw in asking 'why?' was often answered with "because we pay you to do what we say". Luckily, we had already gotten to work on a lot of this before January 1st, so we were, for the most part, ready.

January 1st rolls around (we had to be in the office at 3:00AM), work thru changes, spend some time testing, and be done before noon. That didn't happen. The accounting system was a system that wasn't in (and had never been) in scope, and when we flipped the switch, one of the accountants comes into the office:
E: "Guys? None of our Excel spreadsheets are working. They are critical to integration with the accounting software"
Us: "What? Why would you be using Excel to integrate with the software instead of their portal?"
E: "We could never figure it out, so we had a consultant write VBA scripts to do the work."
Us: "OK, a lot of fields changed, but shouldn't be a big deal. How many spreadsheets are we talking about?"
E: "Hundreds. We have a separate spreadsheet for every integration point. The consulting company said it scalable, whatever that means."
Us: "What?! Why we just know hearing about this!?"
E: "Don't worry, the consultant said making changes would be easy, let me show you, just open the spreadsheet..click here..<click><click><click>...ignore that error, it always happens...click that <click><click><click>.."
Us: "Oh good lord, this is going to take hours"
E: "Ha! Probably. All this computer stuff is your job and I've got a family to get to. Later"
Us: "Hey 'VP of IS', can we go home and fix these spreadsheets as-needed this week?"
VP-IS: "Let me check with 'VP-FS'"
<few minutes later>
VP-IS: "No, he said Excel is critical to running their department. We stay until Excel is fixed."
Us: "No, no...its these spreadsheets. I doubt FS needs all of them tomorrow morning."
VP-IS: "That's what I said. Spreadsheets, Excel, same thing. I'll order the pizza. Who likes pepperoni!?"

At least he didn't cheap out on the pizza (only 4 of us and he ordered 6 large, extra pepperoni from one of the best pizza places in town)

One problem after another and we didn't get done until almost 6:00AM. Then...

VP-IS: "Great job guys. I've scheduled a meeting at 8:00AM to review what we did so we can document the process for next year. You've got a couple of hours. Feel free to get some breakfast and come back, or eat the left over pizza in the breakroom fridge. There is a lot left"
Us: "Um...sorry...we're going home."
VP-IS: "WHAT!!...OK...fine. I'll schedule the meeting for 12"
Us: "No...we're going home. We'll see you tomorrow."

If you're currently in college and wish to get placed in a major tech giant like Amazon or Facebook:

Don't learn React.js, instead learn Linked lists.

Don't learn Flutter, instead learn Binary search trees.

Don't learn how to perform secure Authorization with JWTs, instead learn how to recursively reverse a singly linked list.

Don't learn how to build scalable and fault tolerant web servers, instead learn how to optimally inverse a binary search tree.

These big tech companies don't really care what real world development technologies you've mastered. Your competence in competitive programming and data structures is all that matters.

The system is screwed. Or atleast I am.

Why am I sad, depressed, demotivated, you ask?
Because I was asked to create-react-app with nodemailer, it worked well on heroku, YAYYY MEE, "

"NOTHING GOES WRONG IN DEPLOYMENT FUCK YEAH"

Little did I know that was a "demo" for the business people, My superior / manager/boss wants me to deploy on 1and1 service provider,

> Okay 1 and 1 service provider does provide Nodej, so it shouldn't be hard.
> Turns out it is a Windows hosting server IIS 10 without URL Rewrite.
> *INTERNAL SCREAMING*
I went up to him to talk about this issue and requested to let me talk to 1 and 1, and get this sorted

> But bro, if we cannot fix it, I think they also cannot fix, probably.

*INTERNAL SCREAMING AT PEAK*

I just want URL Rewrite installed on IIS10 so that I can move on to the next project.
A little background for this project
> No support from him during development.

> I personally used HD Images, because why not?

> Website seems slow because of HD Images, and now he complains about it.

You fucking (managers) want a website to be scalable and fast and yet you choose to focus on B U S I N E S S instead of support the real guy.

I'm fucking sick and tired, it took me 24 hours figure out the issue because there is nothing on 1 and 1 support/ forum/help center.

Another 24 hours to try and fix, yet no luck.

I'm gonna finally point the domain name to heroku. Fuck, I'm so fucking done

Spent the last month creating a really scalable chat application, with fast front end, all kinds of neat functions such as polls, and a really efficient database structure in Apache Cassandra.. Everything is built to use NoSQL, and even the front-end is using all kinds of features to speed up itself... Now, guess what... The company I'm doing an internship decided that everything needs to be done in MariaDB, and I can basically remove 1/3 of my program, event the front end will get a huge purge of code, and as much as I explained that MariaDB IS NOT FUCKING USABLE FOR A CHAT APPLICATION, and when there are many messages, the access times will get realllllyyy sloow, and that the whole structure there currently is based on NoSQL... Now I can remove all the clustering, custom data types, and bucketing of messages... And store FUCKING JSON IN 'TEXT' FIELDS IN A STUPID SQL DATABASE. FUCK ME

Microsoft FrontPage. At the time I thought it was the stuff. I still cringe when I think that I started my career in web development with that overwrought, underpowered, non-scalable, inefficient, barely functional piece of garbage. May it, and its creators, not Rest In Peace.

I don't understand why there is such a hypocritic professionalism in tech industry.

In the careers page ,these companies show smiling people, party images , slides and shit. And while selecting resumes, they want to scan buzzwords to select a particular candidate and hate "actual" introductions.

Like, how would you like to meet someone in a bar , who introduces himself as " a super enthusiastic 10x engineer and a tech enthusiast with a knack of building scalable and industry recognized softwares in x tech for last y years". Dude, introduce yourself as a human not a bot.

There is a clear difference when we are talking about personal stuff and when we are talking about tech in real life, why not maintain that in your resume?

But no, just write a single sentence in first person p.o.v and next thing you know, you see tons of LinkedIn post about "how to write a 'professional' resume"

The place I currently work at has got this culture of ignoring developers.

Deadlines get made by 3rd parties and project managers who don't have the technical nounce or experience of our system to make a call on deadlines.

Demos of products are arranged without a discussion with developers as to whether said component will be ready on that date.

3rd parties make decisions about future architecture, offer to assist, then disappear for days on end, to only come back and make out as though they've not been holding us up.

Upper management take no interest, don't listen to the people they pay to do a job.

Currently just moved a PHP web app into a multi tenant scalable EBS environment, but apparently it's not worth asking our view on technical aspects of the business before the shit hits the fan.

Lies to clients about documentation and policies, for example, claims from Sales we have a DR and BCP plan, client called is out, they sent a 2 paragraph A4 document to the client claiming it was our DR and BCP plan without talking to anyone technical, including myself who has years of DR experience. Embarrassing.

Could go on, but rant over.

Concierge shopping service in 2001. You input what you want and your budget and a human concierge will research and get you the best deal with coupons, rebates, etc. The idea was good before e-commerce algorithms got better. Before that you had to find good prices across numerous sites on your own and it was super tedious, hence my idea. Also, it wasn’t scalable as it depended on humans way too much.

As I already said on devrant, I'm a freelance web developer and I also often sell my services for teaching, loving that. Currently I'm teaching PHP with 30 students and it's going very well.

But yesterday, I received an offer for giving another course next month, this time on HTML and CSS, for a company I don't know yet. Almost every line of this email is wrong, outdated by 20 years, or just basically meaningless...

So I thought I could do my best to translate this as close as possible to the original, preserving the wrong formulations too, just for you devranters fellas.

"Hello,

I have an offer for a 2 days course for 5 people (level 1+ and/or 2), on HTML5 and CSS3. Below, the program :

1. XHTML AND CSS2 INTRODUCTION

Advantages and benefits of change

Understanding compatibility for different versions of browsers

HTML, XHTML, CSS edition tools : presentation of the different tools

The CSS language : different types of selectors : class of selector, identifier of selector, contextual selectors, grouped selectors

Blocks of text, boxes of text

The CSS1, CSSP, CSS2 properties

Relative and absolute measures units

2. LAYOUT TECHNIQUES

Full CSS, XHTML websites demo

Positioning with the position property, positioning with the float property

Columns creation

Layout for forms

Layout for data tables

Layout for menus

3. INTRODUCTION TO SVG (SCALABLE VECTOR GRAPHICS)

Role and importance of SVG

Using SVG on client side : basic shapes

SVG structure of document, tags examples

Using CSS styles with SVG

Different integration methods for SVG in a XHTML document

4. OPTIMISATION OF JAVASCRIPT CODE

Introduction to DOM and Javascript

Access to document objects : different access techniques, using this keyword, create elements dynamically

Positioning elements with the help of Javascript : positionning elements relatively to the mouse, move elements

Show/hide elements for creating hierarchical menus

Code optimisation techniques : using objects, objects litterals, loops optimisation

Can you please give me your availability ?"

Seriously...

CSS-fucking-1 ! Is it a course for dinosaurs ?

...And if only my rant was just about the program...

It's totally impossible to cover all these subjects in only 2 days with people of different levels and experience.

The guy exactly said to me : "don't worry about the program, it's an old text but they agreed to it anyway. They just want to learn HTML and CSS, some of them already know it but want to learn more, and the others are total beginers.".

And here is the meaning for the "(level 1+ and/or 2)" part in the email.

So... Surprizingly, I accepted the offer, but asked for at least a 3rd day. I'm waiting for their answer, but I'll do it anyway, adapting the course content to the actual students knowledge. I need the money, after all.

Wish me luck...

It's just sad that these formation companies are selling bullshit to clients that just want to learn something useful. It's too often like that, they sell shitty/useless programs and we have to catch up in real time with students that don't understand why they don't learn what was told to them.

I really hate that I have all of these abandoned prototypes and games because almost all of them contain features that other AAA developers are claiming as next gen...

Cunt I had them working years ago!

(Let's just not talk about my fully scalable self learning AI IV was going to implement to my games)

OMG. Just had the worst convo with my supervisor. She's a dev and she does not understand why scalability is important.

We have a really bad client who has a fucking insane amount of pages and they want to change some stuff on a few and my supervisor just said manually add it in with if satements.

I replied saying this client will want more things changed let me take the extra hlaf hour to make it scalable.

She responded no just do manually.

I wanted to get in to rant about how scalability is important but it was the end of the day and I was to tired.

The saddest and funniest side of our industry is (atleast in India): someone works hard and makes it to the best colleges, do great projects on AI, ML; get a good score on Leetcode, codechef; gets a job in FAANG-like companies...

Changes colors in CSS and texts in HTML.

And, why is there so much emphasis on Data Structures and Algorithms? I mean, a little bit is fine, but why get obsessed with it when you never write algorithms in production code?

Now, don't tell me that, we use libraries and we should know what we are doing, no, we don't use algorithms even in libraries.

Now, before you tell me that MySQL uses B-tree for maintaining indexes, you really don't need to solve tricky questions to be able to understand how a B-tree works.

It's just absurd.

I know how to little bit on how design scalable systems.
I know how to write good code that is both modular and extensible.
I know how to mentor interns and turn them into employees.
I know how to mentor junior engineers (freshers) and help them get started.
Heck I can even invert a binary tree.

But some FAANG company would reject me because I cannot solve a very tricky dynamic programming question.

As a student I got involved in a project written by another student who wasn't working at the company for the time I started. It was a web based application written in plain JS and PHP. His attempt was really terrible and I had to rewrite almost everything. If I sum this up I deleted about 4k lines of code and replaced them with about 2k of my code. My attempt is scalable and it is much easier to build new functions and modules.

I got notified that tomorrow I'm gonna start a porting project from a FileNet ecosystem.

Well, I don't know what is FileNet, but at least I've enough time to study its architecture. Let's start from the official IBM page:

The FileNet® P8 platform offers enterprise-level scalability and flexibility to handle the most demanding content challenges, the most complex business processes, and integration to all your existing systems. FileNet P8 is a reliable, scalable, and highly available enterprise platform that enables you to capture, store, manage, secure, and process information to increase operational efficiency and lower total cost of ownership.

Thank you IBM, now I surely know how to use FileNet. Well, I hope that wikipedia explains me what it is:

FileNet is a company acquired by IBM, developed software to help enterprises manage their content and business processes.

Oh my god. I tried searching half an hour so far and everything I found was just advertisements and not a clue about what it is.

Then they wonder why I hate IBM so much

Fucking managers
Now I know why companies with shitty managers don’t grow

Me conversing with my senior as to how to make one of our functions scalable which around 10k devs would be using.

Manager walks in

Manager: how’s function x going

Me: great , will be done soon

Manager: you need to finish it by today

Me: can’t do it , too many sub functions need to be reconfigured( which was his job)

Manager: take *insert some managers asslicker’s name*’s help

Me: okay

We will finish it by today , but everybody know how “robust” the output will be

P.S. I didn’t argue because I’ve done that before and it’s like hitting your head on a wall. If you have read my previous rants, you would know

i started a project a couple months ago and i used ORM for the queries, cause it's already implemented. thing is, this project came directly from hell and the math is stupid af. it requires subqueries in subqueries and the data that was provided is trash. I'm giving up on the ORM, it's not scalable.

FredBoat, largest open source discord bot.
Making all the things work + making it scale when demand kept climbing was a challenge where we had to learn simple stuff like postgres, working with 3rd party apis, generally good coding patterns and maintainable code, but also rather advanced stuff like making the garbage collector play nice, profiling memory leaks and optimizing the hot path, as well as high level topics like cutting the codebase into scalable domains and services.

Rant to discuss Domain Driven Design (DDD) architecture.

Did anyone implemented on production?
How scalable and easy to use?
Do you recommend it? if yes in which environment? in which business types?

Project manager: "What is a micro service? I'm dating a girl and she mentioned it and I want to impress her."

Me: "Well, you have monolithic services which tend to serve many different functions whereas a micro service tends to serve a single function or a few related functions. They are usually easier to scale and can be optimized to be faster. Still, right tool for the job."

Project manager: "Oh nice! So I can ask her 'Hey, want to see my micro service? It's quick and scalable.'"

-face palm-

He's leaving this week. I'm going to miss him though.

Seriously though, in that context, would scalability mean you're bringing friends?

Java Or NodeJS for building stable and scalable backend API

My craziest interview prep was for the role I just started last week. I applied to AWS and forgot about it, a month later I got invited to do a phone interview followed by a 5 hour on-site loop

I had just 4 days to prepare while already working full-time so I basically didn’t do anything after work for those few days other than cramming through over 50 hours of content on ds & algo, linux, networking and scalable system designs.

It helped that I’ve been working as a software engineer for many years so I just needed to review what I already knew

When the CTO/CEO of your "startup" is always AFK and it takes weeks to get anything approved by them (or even secure a meeting with them) and they have almost-exclusive access to production and the admin account for all third party services.

Want to create a new messaging channel? Too bad! What about a new repository for that cool idea you had, or that new microservice you're expected to build. Expect to be blocked for at least a week.

When they also hold themselves solely responsible for security and operations, they've built their own proprietary framework that handles all the authentication, database models and microservice communications.

Speaking of which, there's more than six microservices per developer!

Oh there's a bug or limitation in the framework? Too bad. It's a black box that nobody else in the company can touch. Good luck with the two week lead time on getting anything changed there. Oh and there's no dedicated issue tracker. Have you heard of email?

When the systems and processes in place were designed for "consistency" and "scalability" in mind you can be certain that everything is consistently broken at scale. Each microservice offers:

1. Anemic & non-idempotent CRUD APIs (Can't believe it's not a Database Table™) because the consumer should do all the work.
2. Race Conditions, because transactions are "not portable" (but not to worry, all the code is written as if it were running single threaded on a single machine).
3. Fault Intolerance, just a single failure in a chain of layered microservice calls will leave the requested operation in a partially applied and corrupted state. Ger ready for manual intervention.
4. Completely Redundant Documentation, our web documentation is automatically generated and is always of the form //[FieldName] of the [ObjectName].
5. Happy Path Support, only the intended use cases and fields work, we added a bunch of others because YouAreGoingToNeedIt™ but it won't work when you do need it. The only record of this happy path is the code itself.

Consider this, you're been building a new microservice, you've carefully followed all the unwritten highly specific technical implementation standards enforced by the CTO/CEO (that your aware of). You've decided to write some unit tests, well um.. didn't you know? There's nothing scalable and consistent about running the system locally! That's not built-in to the framework. So just use curl to test your service whilst it is deployed or connected to the development environment. Then you can open a PR and once it has been approved it will be included in the next full deployment (at least a week later).

Most new 'services' feel like the are about one to five days of writing straightforward code followed by weeks to months of integration hell, testing and blocked dependencies.

When confronted/advised about these issues the response from the CTO/CEO
varies:

(A) "yes but it's an edge case, the cloud is highly available and reliable, our software doesn't crash frequently".
(B) "yes, that's why I'm thinking about adding [idempotency] to the framework to address that when I'm not so busy" two weeks go by...
(C) "yes, but we are still doing better than all of our competitors".
(D) "oh, but you can just [highly specific sequence of undocumented steps, that probably won't work when you try it].
(E) "yes, let's setup a meeting to go through this in more detail" *doesn't show up to the meeting*.
(F) "oh, but our customers are really happy with our level of [Documentation]".

Sometimes it can feel like a bit of a cult, as all of the project managers (and some of the developers) see the CTO/CEO as a sort of 'programming god' because they are never blocked on anything they work on, they're able to bypass all the limitations and obstacles they've placed in front of the 'ordinary' developers.

There's been several instances where the CTO/CEO will suddenly make widespread changes to the codebase (to enforce some 'standard') without having to go through the same review process as everybody else, these changes will usually break something like the automatic build process or something in the dev environment and its up to the developers to pick up the pieces. I think developers find it intimidating to identify issues in the CTO/CEO's code because it's implicitly defined due to their status as the "gold standard".

It's certainly frustrating but I hope this story serves as a bit of a foil to those who wish they had a more technical CTO/CEO in their organisation. Does anybody else have a similar experience or is this situation an absolute one of a kind?

I always thought wordpress was ok, not great not terrible, from a coding perspective. Now every new framework I have worked on makes me see why Wordpress is on 40% of the internet.

Now I love wordpress not because of what it did do, but because of all the really stupid things it managed to avoid doing including: over abstraction, trend chasing, using "new transformative technology" that disappears in 2 years, breaking plugin economy with updates and making devs start over, making everything OOP for the sake of making everything OOP, making adding on a bit of code take multiple files of multiple formats and boiler plate code, boiler plate code, compiling dependencies, composer, twig, laravel, one page applications, react, angular, vue, javascript only stacks (MEAN), not letting you control sql queries, protected/private scopes and design that doesn't let you fix or alter bad code others did, and the list goes on and on.

Wordpress did a lot right, and devs should try learning from it instead of making more problems to solve. Sure it's not elegant, but you known what it does do? Focus on a solving a problem. Then it does. Without inventing new ideas or concepts to inject into the code and create new problems.

And you know what else? Hooks are actually very well implemented in Wordpress. I've seen it done much worse.

Honestly my main gripe with the entire platform is a slow moving to OOP for no reason and the database design should separate post type into different tables, the current design makes it less scalable for large data sets for multiple reasons so I'd fix that.

I asked the designer if he had ideas on the hover or active states of the buttons. He came with a pretty flashy codepen: “Maybe something like this?”

I tried making the thing myself. It was pretty complicated since it had a background/foreground etc so i tried a couple of things with :before :after but to no avail. I gave up and decided to give it another try the next morning.

Next morning i started to copy paste the existing code from the codepen.
Quickly i discovered what a pile of shit was send to me. This button had twice as much lines then needed and above all; it wasn’t scalable at all.

I reworked the code removed everything i didn’t need and now have decent animating button. Which is flashing the eyes out of the visitors. But hey, it’s flashy!!

Smart contact lenses and the appropriate software. It would be the ultimate AR experience. I have no idea how to produce them, as they would need to be super high resolution, lag free, completely wirelessly powered and connected, safe to use and to wear and useable 24/7.
My current concept is a ultrabook sized block that can be taken around in a backpack.
Oh and wireless handoff ...
meaning everything I grab and throw in your general direction becomes available to you, kind off like they do it in Avatar. This should also work with PCs, tablet and everything else.
Speaking of grabbing you would also need some kind of minority report glove so every bit of hand movement can be tracked precisely. But probably a bit more elegant meaning only small stickers on the back of your hand.
Did I mention that sharing stuff should enable working together on the same object in real-time?
Also this system should integrate seamlessly with a smart environment, meaning looking at the light, opening its context menu and changing its brightness or colour should be no effort at all.
And of course all of it should be open source, highly scalable and either hosted on public infrastructure (funded by taxes or smt) or by each individual for himself to protect his or her privacy.
So who is with me?

Why on Earth would you build API in VBA ? It's such an unusable language, everything is stupid (cuz it's for beginners, right? just fuckoffplz)

Why are we building modern technologies on top of ancient stuff ? Scalable ? Manageable ? Readable ? Anything ?

Couple of advices from the QA guy

1) Don’t do the bare minimum bc the PM asks that. The people that write up the tasks/requirements don’t know their shit sometimes. Or even worse, they just copy paste what the client asked.
2) Confront the PM and ask more time to build something robust and scalable. When shit don’t work, people will blame the devs which is not fair. Is not easy but put your foot down when you’ve being asked to build shitty stuff bc the client want it ready now.

a nice feeling being complimented for the effort and frontend. but it is still a pity i am the only one appreciating my tidy, efficient and scalable backend too.

Just realized dynamodb does not allow empty strings. You can never store attributeName="".
And I can't see why.
Wtf aws? You high mutherfucka?
Like why? You don't want devs to have a peaceful sleep don't you ?
If possible I would never be in 100 m radius of this piece of scalable-shit called dynamodb

tl;dr i am proud of my universal program but annoyed it won't get appreciation.

<brag type='slightly'>the last three days i refactored my various snippets to a kind of modular and scalable software package. restricted to a rigid company system i make use of the technologies i feel confident in. so i created a javascript app that can be used with internet explorer. it is a neat tool to work smarter and mainly to make repetitive writing tasks efficient using predefined textblocks that have automated linguistic adjustments and are multilingual usable. after refactoring it is possible to extend any desired functionality by just adding another module. i learned a lot about implementing separated data structures, data processing, output and asynchronous script loading (and the annoying limitations of ie11).</brag>

i kept in mind that this tool might not only help my personal duties to be done more efficient but also might come in handy to all my colleagues having similar tasks to do. the downside is my colleagues having irrational computerphobia and i know for sure they will proceed to do these repetitive writings manually resulting in inconsistencies and an inefficient time management. while my wise wife tries to convice me that at least i had fun coding this stuff and having it supporting me with annoying tasks, it still bothers me being the only user, as it means no progression for the company. it riddles me how the colleagues, acknowledging us all being craftspeople in the first place, avoid use of computers whenever possible and rather rely on medieval working flows.

i find it quite amusing to be the 'can you fix my printer'-guy, but i just cannot handle this attitude. and everyone complains about having so much to do. get your shit together and start clicking these few buttons goddammit!

React + Redux + Router is do fucking awesome stack. Love It much more than angular 1.x. App works so fast, is scalable and easy to maintain.
Reactive paradigm for the winner!

I made a gaming website and spent fuck load of time making it scalable. i am only player now. My life is a meme

For me, it was when I was on a team doing government work. We had an entire team devoted to deployments etc which were handled via ansible.

Ansible was fairly new at the time (~2015, they had just been bought by RedHat) but the team was definitely doing a great job picking it up and creating install playbooks for _every_ piece of our distributed infrastructure (load balancers, application servers, queues, databases, everything).

I luckily left before stuff got too hairy, but last I heard they are more than 6 months behind schedule. They STILL can't get a reproducible install process with the ansible playbooks! And it's all due to tech debt ie not giving any time to fix things, so its just band aid after band aid.

It's really sad to hear because the sytem itself was pretty cool, completely horizontally scalable and definitely miles ahead of the program they've been using for the last 20 years.

I hate programmatic auto layout. It's such a mess! Simple shit like cells that can easily be defined in a .nib become spaghetti coded messes that violate every good programming practice ever. Want to recreate the same style of cell again? Good luck reverse engineering the hieroglyphics your teammate wrote when creating the layout by hand. Never mind a whole bunch of useless shit is done in code that could easily be defined via runtime attributes through the storyboard. But why learn a new approach? Cause job security. Or because for some reason Interface Builder tools are seen as "too hard" or "not scalable" to use.. fuck me.

I have mixed feelings about Elon’s Neuralink. Just read a bit of the abstract.

“Neuralink’s first steps toward a scalable high-bandwidth BMI system. We have built arrays of small and flexible electrode “threads”, with as many as 3,072 electrodes per array distributed across 96 threads.”

I’m curious, will this be this be the next “form of cognition”?

Question:
Can someone share resources or insights into system design or system architecture for a real time web app using nodeJS and scores in backend and react in front end
I was options to maintain and scale real time events
Basically a solid scalable architecture for a pub-sub kind of model

Hey devRant!

University student here. I’m trying to learn how to build scalable applications. I figured what better way to learn, than to ask this community!

So, some questions:
1. What is a good stack for scalability
2. Regarding microservices, when and where should you use node, .net, and go
3. I hear much talk about docker and kubernetes... how would you use these concerning microservices

Thanks!

Running a small company. All of us work from home. I am a designer and coder in one person, but now mostly taking care of cash flow, work done etc., while I have my dear girlfriend as only designer and an old friend as only front/backend developer. We are doing mainly small presentation websites on drupal, and a lot of webdesign.

Now I want to ask more experienced devs here. As the "main guy" I am responsible for everything running smooth with clients, money flow etc. But I am constantly running in a serious problem with my developer.
He most of the time gets the job done. But it is as fucked as possible. It looks good at the first view, but when you check the code... Oh god. Not only once he wrote me he did the job and when I checked it, it was like 50 percent done and rest was let untouched. He is using the oldest approaches in css as possible. Most of the time setting fixed widths even when I told him not to do so. Thing is, he knows how to do it properly, but he rather set the fixed width for all the devices than write something more scalable (imagine fixed width buttons, now imagine a website with 5 translations and now imagine how it behaves on mobile phones).

I want to be in a state where my dev writes me he did the job and I can INSTANTLY pass the changes to client with a trust of good done work. Without checking constantly all the work after him. Or it is normal and it works like that everywhere?

As to mention, I think he is pretty good paid and this is not money problem. It even does not look like he is demotivated or anything. When I speak to him it looks more like he is lazy to learn new things and lazy to do a good work. What would you suggest? Thanks

ML engineers can't write production level scalable code. They're always boasting about the accuracy of their solution. Some can't even tell the difference between a GET and POST request. AND ITS SO HARD to get them to admit they're wrong. 🙄

Fucking IT bloggers be telling you about how to deploy scalable hype meta monad 420 doritos bacon containers. Forget those hipsters.

The only developer blog you need is ACM Queue.

I just want to say make sure you build app to be scalable from the begining I spent around 5 hours remaking my Vue app to use eventbus and vuex because at first I thought it was going to be a much smaller project but it looks like I'm going to expand on it.

Btw it's still not 100% function like it did before the refractoring so ya.

It was early 2000s and I put together a personalized shopping concierge site. My wife was amazing at finding deals, coupons, obscure products, etc. And in those days you had to work hard to find them. So we set up a site with a simple “tell me what you want and what you’re willing to pay” form. We got a few requests but it never really took off. And it wasn’t scalable.

Question:

For a real time chat (web) app. Whats the best technology to use for this? I dont want the chats to have delays or glitches (in case it gets sent but not delivered etc).

Backend stack is java spring boot

How about kafka? Or rabbitmq? Or socket.io? Should i use redis? Should i use AWS SQS? Talking about cloud what AWS tools should i be using to handle this the best way?

Note: it must be scalable. Meaning if i wanted to extend this software more by building a mobile app (aside from web), i should be able to use the same backend easily

Note 2: it is not ONLY a chat app. Chatting is just 1 out of many functionalities. So chatting is not the main component of the project just a side thing

Keep in mind the backend is a microservice architecture etc. Database postgresql.

I have a great chemistry with this coworker.

He lacks some depth of android knowledge but is always very interested in adding new google libs to the project, so we often discuss and come up with the safest, scalable solutions.

He is SE2 and I am SE1.

But one thing that is interesting about him is the way he gives estimations for the tasks. He takes usually that much amount of time that i would take, for a task, but he would quote half the time estimates.

the bosses usually come on the last days to check the feature demo, but QAs gets the first build when a task is completed. I have seen his first builds that goes to QA and most of the time, boy it has some amazingly stupid bugs.

dude would just put a util function, then run the build, if everything compiled, he would just give the build to QA directly. he wouldn't even check that the util function gave an expected output or not.

He is simply wasting QA time n efforts, and risking product quality by not testing enough, but he almost always gets a clean chit for this behavior just because he did the work super fast.

Dude is super cool and i don't envy him for his good luck, but rather think of him as an inferior dev. However bosses think of him as a better dev and my TL even once told me to "be like him"

So i guess this is how corporate works. I will try to apply this in my next role in current/next organisation.

You know what is awesome. React with Redux. It is such a clean and scalable pattern for building UI. Conceptually not that easy but on once you have it. So much better than any other pattern I have seen.

But what fucks me off is working with other librarys with it not hard just fucking annoying.

Does Really Nodejs - js environment is the best environment in the world ? i mean why people create their RESTful API in js ? from singular to microservices ? does it really that scalable ?

do i have any alternative ? i can't stand anymore change working with js anymode :(

Plaza is an easy & scalable way for brands to use video calls to sell to their communities.

What does the term mean 'JAVA is not scalable' when it comes to web applications?

We need a domain specific language for AI that is tailored for big data. So many tools are just not scalable to the size needed for these massive AI problems. It needs to be able to conceptualize and handle the fattest data in the industry.

We should call the language: Your Mom

Neo4j vs Mongo vs SQL

Which one would you choose for a high density scalable database?

Please comment with your ideas about speed and scalability.

so am switching jobs as an Android dev from a company which made android libs (using almost 0 external dependencies and mostly java) to a company which makes android apps( and is probably using either rx/guava/ribs/hilt etc or the more fancy hilt/compose/coroutines/clean-arc etc. its either one of them depending upon the maturity of product)

B2C folks use tons of libraries in favor of delivering fast but learning about those libraries while taking new tasks and fixing bugs CAUSED by those libraries ( or their inappropriate usage) is a big PAIN IN THE FUCKING ASS.

I remember i had once became such a weird dev coz of my prev company ( before the current libraries one, which was also a B2C) .

on weekends i would come up with a nice app idea, start a new android studio project, and before writing a single line of useful code, i would add a bunch of libraries, gradle scripts and extensions .

that ocd will only settle once all the steps are done and i can see a working app after which i would write the code for actual code for feature implementation.

granted that these libs are good for creating robust scalable code, but most of the times those infinite kayers of seperation, inheritance and abstraction are not really needed for a simple , working product.

:/

i have also started reading about rxjava , and although i am repulsive to this library due to its complicated black box like structure, i find its vast number of operators nd built in solutions very cool.

at the end of the day, all i want is to write code that is good enough for monkeys, get it shipped without any objections and go back home.

and when you work on a codebase that has these complicated libs, you bet your ass that there will be thos leetcode bros and library lover senëõr devs waiting to delay the "go back home" part 😪

I've to say that javascript is no language I like because I'm more fastinated of building a nice and scalable backend then building a gui (in the browser).

The funny thing is that right now javascript helps me at my current project because many websites implement wide-opened apis for their js frontend and it just works like a charm to use them instead of parsing the whole html and do some XPath stuff to fetch information.

Since I sort of started web development seriously about two years and a little bit I’ve decided to raise the bar and intentionally lie in my resume to hopefully find a job that can help me to sustain my wife who is sick and my newborn son. I changed my experience to +3 years and out some “ghost” projects. No offers. Then, I put 5 years and tweaked projects and experience here and there. Again...nothing, nada, no offers. Should I just go all above and put 10 years and experience such as Microsoft and big 500 companies? I mean I hate to do this but I feel like I’m in a hole than I can’t get out while I’m gaining more and more knowledge every single day. I’m learning a lot about JavaScript which is my fav language as well as React. Authentication/Authorization and it’s different hierarchies/ inheritance methodologies as well as single and multi sign on methods applied to scalable web apps. I just what would be the outcome after lying so big. I hate lying but what’s so wrong with the market that I can’t find a job? Hold your fire and put in my shoes before ranting me. I don’t give this advice to anyone it’s just my experience looking for a job and my actual situation. ( currently working as IT Help Desk Level II)

Question for database gurus:

I need to save the openig hours of my clients in a database. Each day should have different opening hours and also the possibility for 2 breaks during the opening hours. There should also be an option for different local holidays for each client.

How to I acomplish this in a clean/performant/scalable way? Thank you for your answers!

So I have a client project that needs to be delivered in 3 months. The project size is significantly huge, so a lot of devs will work with me. Our seniors have its architecture defined in micro services but we have no clue how they work. I would really appreciate some community inputs on how can we scalable-ly use micro services.

Why is Java goto language for most backend systems, distributed and scalable, specially in big organizations like Amazon?

Not exactly a rant, but I'm wondering where to go next with my learning.
I'm a c# dev and I want to get more into massive, scalable, distributed application development.
I sort of want to be with the "cool kids" i.e. open source, node.js, docker, scala, you name it. I get that open source moves quickly, but I get the feeling that every new framework is a fad.
Then again there is the corporate world with shitloads of money who are invested in .net and will very soon want people who can redesign their software so that their management can use all the buzz words.
I'm thinking into get into consulting and claim my slice of pie there by designing their solutions to go on the cloud so they can throw even more money at microsoft.
Anyway, I'm doing a bit of soul searching so feel free to throw in your 2 cents

I’m trying to add caching functionality in my scalable spark cluster on Docker. I am able to add redis to my Docker container, but that doesn’t add redis-CLI or any other useful tools that I need. And there are some redis-cache projects on PyPi, but they are very old and not compatible with python3.

I cant wrap my head around designing a database system from scratch. Period.

I use ER diagrams to do it. But still i can't figure this piece of shit out.

It usually goes in these steps:

1) i design a very simple minimal system, turns out it works but HELL NO how unsalable it is. Literally its so statically built that i have to redesign the whole infrastructure and models from scratch

2) i redesign from scratch but this time i overengineer it. Overcomplex as fuck. So complex i get lost easily and have to redesign the whole shit all over again this time copying others similar infrastructure with help of chatgpt

3) chatgpt of course fucks everything up even more to the point that my shit can't compile anymore. Fuck this shit

I think i lack the correct way of thinking and approaching this. College has taught me bullshit and confused me even more which is why im so fucking lost. Can someone explain me How to think in the correct mentality when designing an ER database system from scratch.

How do i properly design a scalable database infrastructure as ER diagram for a subscription and chatting models, similar to onlyfans infrastructure?

Since its summer I started a new project and decided to make a Linux app. I started to learn Gtk and when it comes to language there was bunch of options. The most supported one was C but I don't prefer C on GUI apps because of you don't have classes and other things related to OOP(I know there are workarounds for OOP in C but I don't prefer). Then there was Python. Python is great for little sized projects and writing Python is full of pleasure. However when things getting bigger, a language that is more verbose and more declarative is my preference. So I found Vala language. Its syntax is very close to C# and that was a good thing for me since I like C# syntax. Their documentation was also good enough so I started to use it and I enjoyed so much. I have found the language that has good and scalable syntax and furthermore, enjoying to write. But I see Vala is not so popular language besides there is no exact replacement for this language on open source community. I heard that it has a lot of bugs itself and that was the main reason of it but I think this language deserves to be more popular.

Struggling to optimize and to scale the infrastructure of our production environement dealing with people who don't bother themselves to write scalable code.

(tldr: are foriegn keys good/bad? Can you give a simple example of a situation where foriegn keys were the only and/or best solution?)

i have been recently trying to make some apps and their databases , so i decided to give a deeper look to sql and its queries.

I am a little confused and wanted to know more about foreign keys , joins and this particular db designing technique i use.

Can anyone explain me about them in a simpler way?
Firstly i wanted to show you this not much unheard tecnique of making relations that i find very useful( i guess its called toxi technique) :
In this , we use an extra table for joining 2 tables . For eg, if we have a table of questions and we have a table of tags then we should also have a table of relation called relation which will be mapping the the tags with questions through their primary IDs this way we can search all the questions by using tag name and we can also show multiple tags for a question just like stackoverflow does.

Now am not sure which could be a possibile situation when i need a foriegn key. In this particular example, both questions and tags are joined via what i say as "soft link" and this makes it very scalable and both easy to add both questions and new tags.

From what i learned about foriegn keys, it marks a mandatory one directional relation between 2 tables (or as i say "hard a to b" link)
Firstly i don't understand how i could use foriegn key to map multiple tags with a question. Does that mean it will always going to make a 1to1 relationship between 2 tables( i have yet to understand what 11 1mant or many many relations arr, not sure if my terminology is correct)

Secondly it poses super difficulty and differences in logics for adding either a tag or question, don't you think?
Like one table (say question) is having a foreign key of tags ID then the the questions table is completely independent of tag entries.

Its insertion/updation/deletion/creation of entries doesn't affect the tags table. but for tag table we cannot modify a particular tag or delete a tag without making without causing harm to its associated question entries.
if we have to delete a particular tag then we have to delete all its associated questions with that this means this is rather a bad thing to use for making tables isn't it?

I m just so confused regarding foriegn keys , joins and this toxi approach. Maybe my example of stack overflow tag/questions is wrong wrt to foreign key. But then i would like to know an example where it is useful